A Frenchie in Trinidad

Starting a new life in a Caribbean paradise isn't just about the sunsets and soca music; it's a symphony of challenges, culture, and so much more.
This episode features the bubbly Wendy Dyemma-Harper, a Guadeloupean expat who's found her rhythm in Trinidad, sharing her insights on life as a French-speaking Caribbean girl in Trinidad and Tobago.

As your host, I weave my own tales of Caribbean transitions, comparing notes with Wendy on the emotional rollercoaster of setting up shop in St Martin and Trinidad to cracking the code of working and living in a non-native language.

We discuss the nostalgia for the foods and family traditions of our homelands, the hits and the misses, and finding your place as an expat in a different Caribbean setting.
What a fun conversation. 

Follow Wendy's adventures  as a Guadeloupean in Trinidad on Instagram here. 

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:07

Guess where we are going today, or I should say, actually guess where we are returning to today, because we are about to travel back to Trinidad. I know, I just cannot get enough of this country and its people and, obviously, the food right. But this time we are going to talk about something slightly different, though. We are going to experience Trinidad through the eyes of, or through the experiences of, an expat, but not just any expat. No, no, no, no, no. We cannot do that. This is a French island girl who is now living in Trinidad. But before we dive into that super interesting conversation, if you are listening to Paradise Perspectives on Apple podcast, go ahead and leave a comment and review. Let me know what you are enjoying most about this podcast and what I can improve on. I would love to get some feedback from you. I really would, and of would love to get some feedback from you. I really would, and, of course, thank you for listening.

Speaker 1: 1:08

Okay, so in the hot seat today is Wendy Dayama Harper. She is known on Instagram as a Frenchie in Trini and if you are not following her, you need to start doing that right now, because here is where she shares everything about her life as an expat in Trinidad. She is actually from the beautiful island of Guadalupe and she's married to a Trini man and she is a new mom. Wendy is also a communications officer who studied political sciences. Sorry, she studied political science at three different universities. She loves to travel, she loves to dance, she loves music dance, she loves music and she loves arts and crafts, and I think honestly that she couldn't have picked a better suited island for her if she lost all of that. But today she is Wendy, the Frenchie in Trini, and she is sharing everything about her experience as an expat in Trinidad, how she got there and what you need to know before making the big move to a Caribbean island.

Speaker 1: 2:12

Take a listen, wendy. Thank you so much for being on the show. I am so happy that you could finally make the time, because I know you are a new mother, you have a busy, busy life and it has been challenging to get you here in the studio, but you are finally here and for that I am so, so grateful. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you, wendy. So let's just introduce yourself. I just did a little short introduction before we started talking today, but I just want you to introduce yourself to the listener today and tell them a little bit about yourself.

Speaker 2: 2:47

Well, thank you for having me. First of all, you know, as you said, it's been a long time coming, so I'm definitely excited, you know, to be able to do this today. And in terms of who I am, I'm Wendy, 34-year-old Guadalupean. I currently live in Trinidad and Tobago. I like to say currently because, even though Trinidad has been my home for a few years now, who knows where the wind might take me, you know, in the future? But right now that's where I am. I am a communications officer, a new mom, as you said, to a baby girl who is just four months old, and so, you know, just living the good life here in TNT.

Speaker 1: 3:37

Oh, fantastic. I fell in love with you when I discovered you on Instagram and I started immediately hit the follow button because it was so much. You know your videos are all so full of positivity and how you just gush over your life in Trinidad and how happy you are to be living there. And you know, um also. Just you know when you started sharing your little baby bump to now having a baby to know. So everybody that's been following you has been following your story and living through every one of these little highlights that you've shared on Instagram and social media. So it's just wonderful to now see your pretty face in front of me right now, virtually, but you know, this is the best thing ever. I am so glad that you're here.

Speaker 1: 4:27

So, kate, so I have to say, like the reason I think for myself and for a lot of other people that decided to follow you on social is most probably because what you have done you don't see very often, and that is somebody from one of the French islands, because you're from Guadeloupe. You have moved from Guadeloupe and you are now making your life in Trinidad and Tobago, which is an English speaking country. So that is so bizarre, although this happens all over the world. I'm sure you know there's so many other French speaking natives that have moved and that now live in the states, or in canada or wherever, it doesn't matter, but it's just. I think for us islanders in the caribbean it's something that you don't see every day. So how did you start this transition? Because before you moved to trinidad, you actually also lived in jamaica, you in Barbados.

Speaker 2: 5:23

Yes, yeah.

Speaker 1: 5:24

Right. So where did this move start from? How did this happen?

Speaker 2: 5:30

So this happened really, because I did a joint degree program, a master's, which was basically between three universities the Institute of Political Studies, sciences Po, bordeaux, so in the south of France, and then the University of the West Indies, mona Campus, in Jamaica, and then the University of the Antilles, université des Antilles, in Martinique, and so this program allowed us to move from one country to the next, or from one department to the next, in the case of Martinique and continental France, and so basically, over five years we lived three years in Bordeaux, in France, one year in Martinique and one year in Jamaica, and so the experience that I had in Jamaica was truly life-changing. I rediscovered my Caribbean roots. You know, as you mentioned, a lot of French speakers, french natives, especially from the islands, would want to go and study in France, which was my case. But the fact that there was this Caribbean component, I was able, in Jamaica, to meet with neighbors from Antigua, even the continental Caribbean, so Belize and Guyana, but also, you know, I had literally roommates from the Bahamas, from Jamaica, from Trinidad and Tobago. And that's how, really, I was introduced to Trinidad and Tobago first because I had never been, but I was living with two Trinis on haul and that was the best experience, like I literally fell in love with Trinis and Trinidad before I even set foot there, and so it was really an experience like no other.

Speaker 2: 7:33

University in France and university in the Caribbean or at least what I know of it from the Mona campus in Jamaica are totally different, and I definitely had a blast. While in Jamaica I made so many friends, lifelong friends, I was able to travel. That's how I went to the Bahamas, you know. It was truly, truly life changing to me, and so to complete that degree, I had to do an internship, and so I had so much fun being in the Caribbean.

Speaker 2: 8:14

I said to myself, you know what, yes, I could apply to companies or organizations in Europe or Canada or anywhere else, but I just wanted to experience more of the Caribbean. I have a very, very good friend, my sister in Sharifa, who is from Barbados, and so I was like, okay, let me try to get something, maybe in Jamaica, barbados or Trinidad. So I applied to a few international and regional organizations there, notably the UN, the ACS, so the Association of Caribbean States, and a few others. And so it turns out that UNDP, the United Nations Development Program, accepted my request for my application, and so I was actually able to split that internship between Barbados and Trinidad. So that's how I ended up moving to Barbados for three months, four months, and then I continued that internship as well in UNDP, but this time in Trinidad and Tobago, and that was the first, first ever time that I went to Trinidad.

Speaker 1: 9:35

Wow, what a journey that take you. That took you, kind of like, throughout the Caribbean to now find your home in Trinidad. Now I have to ask you how. You said that you have been able to apply through the internship and through, basically through your job. But what would you recommend to somebody from any island that is now considering moving to another island? What would you suggest to them that they need to do? And, of course, the application process in every country is super different, so I'm not going to ask you about the specifics, about that, but I think, mentally, how do you prepare yourself for that big move? What did you do? What did you? How did you prepare yourself for it?

Speaker 2: 10:20

so I think the first thing is you know knowledge is power, information is key. As a comms officer, obviously, I will say that you know, try and get as much information as you can about the country, if you are able to go and do a short visit before, like a quick vacation. And, of course, going on vacation somewhere and settling somewhere is totally different, completely different, but it gives you a good idea of what life is like or could be if you were to move there. Um, but nowadays, to be honest, you get so many information, even online. Go and look and search to see how things are going the, the way of living, the cost of living, um, all of these things are important to know and help um.

Speaker 2: 11:17

I always love traveling. So for me, moving to a different country, um, yes, it had its challenges, for sure, but, to be honest, because I had this introduction to Trinidad, to Barbados, through friends, I felt much more comfortable, on top of my research, to have that kind of background and understanding you. You know how things go and I already had a little bit of Trini lingo in mind when I moved to Trinidad, to my friends and so on. But definitely, do your research, do your research, make sure that you you are comfortable with the lifestyle and so on, because, again, you come from somewhere, everything is different. Or even though there are similarities, right, there is still an adjustment period and I think as you go on to move to a different country, you also have to keep that in mind, be open-minded, know that it will be a work in progress. You will learn. I'm still learning after years in Trinidad and I think for me that's also the best part, you know, being able to still be surprised, still learning, and so on.

Speaker 1: 12:46

Yeah, so how long have you been now in Trinidad?

Speaker 2: 12:51

On and off because I came and went, come back, so I would say about eight years Permanently. I've been here since um 2017, um when I took on the role as director of the alliance process of trinidad and tobago.

Speaker 1: 13:14

so since may 2017, I've been in the country permanently okay, now you have a partner, husband, husband, husband, and he is from Trinidad. Did you guys meet in Trinidad, or did you? Or did you know him before you made the big move?

Speaker 2: 13:33

No, actually it's funny because a lot of people think that I move for love.

Speaker 1: 13:39

That was not the case I get the same exact thing all the time. I get the same thing. Oh, you must have moved because, oh, you met the love of your life, so you moved for him. No, I did not, I moved for me and I found him here.

Speaker 2: 13:52

Yeah, yeah, exactly. So basically, after I came back in 2017, a few months later, I actually met him um through work in a sense, because I had a computer problem, is a it professional, and so he was recommended to me to fix my problem um more than that, exactly, exactly, um. So yeah, that's that's pretty much how we met um and yeah, we've been together since then.

Speaker 1: 14:32

Pretty much. That's amazing. I love that and you know now that you're actually telling your story, it resonates, I think, a lot with me, because I pretty much did kind of like a similar thing. Uh, I moved. I was in the in the Netherlands at that time, wanted to move back to the Caribbean, didn't know exactly which island to live in, and then I settled in St Martin because I wanted it to be somewhere where I wasn't going to be speaking my own language. I wasn't going to be speaking any Dutch, so I moved here and then just kind of like well, St Martin was always like a fun destination for me, as you know, growing up, visiting it as a kid.

Speaker 1: 15:08

So of course, I then moved to St Martin where I could further practice my English, I guess so, but it's, it's just that's. That's the thing that amazes me of of you know what you did, and I remember my friends to this day they're still like we can't believe you just up and left, Like it's just. To them it seemed like there was nothing to it, Like like I just, you know, packed my bags and I moved to another country. But it's not that simple. We do our research before we leave and we are, and we do feel that fear.

Speaker 1: 15:42

You know in the beginning, before we make that big step because you don't know what you're going to, what life is going to be like you know. So what were some of those fears that you had to like push aside, when you were thinking of moving to Trinidad and making it permanent.

Speaker 2: 16:01

So for me to be honest, and actually I will always remember the first time I landed in Trinidad um it was not something permanent, it was for an internship, so it was three months, but even for three months I was like, okay.

Speaker 2: 16:19

So, yes, I've heard of life in Trinidad, yes, I did my research, but am I going to be able to, you know, make friends other than the ones that I had at university? You know, accommodation, wise, okay, everything was booked online. Now I get there. Is it as in the pictures? Am I going to be able, you know, to um work? Because, again, english is not my first language. I was about to say french.

Speaker 2: 16:53

That's so funny um english is not my first language, so you know, working in a different language's totally different from just speaking it casually or anything like that. Um, and you know also, trinidad has a reputation, which is not just a reputation. As much as I show the positive sides, of course, um, there are some negative to, you know, to life in Trinidad. Um, the criminal, um aspect, the well, the crime aspect, rather, um, is, is something that you know I would have heard a lot about before coming in.

Speaker 1: 17:39

We all do.

Speaker 2: 17:40

Um, and so, thankfully, I want to say, I lived in jamaica, which has a similar reputation and unfortunately I was just gonna say actually yeah and and and because also, you know, unfortunately insecurity is everywhere. Um, you know that you have to take your precautions and know what you're doing and, you know, operate in a certain way to keep yourself safe, really, um, and so maybe those were the main fears, um being able to adjust, being able to work in a different language.

Speaker 2: 18:18

Um, in security, safety, you know those kind of things and just overall fitting in um, there is something about me I like to you know fit in um and live the life that locals would live. Of course, I know I'm not from Trinidad and Tobago, but you can't tell me different. You know I will fit in, I will find ways, I will you know, and, and that's why you know you mentioned my, my instagram page, um, that is how it started as well, in terms of like, sharing my experience, um, because I also know that when I was doing my research, I couldn't find anything. Of course you have the expert groups and so on, which was helpful, but nothing where I could hear really about real life and what it is like from an islander, another islander's perspective, really.

Speaker 2: 19:26

So yeah, that's really how it started for me and of course, that's exactly the same thing when I was with you.

Speaker 1: 19:33

Exactly the same thing. Couldn't find information anywhere, but you were saying of course.

Speaker 2: 19:38

Of course, you know you get some information and so on, but sharing my experience was also a way for me to keep in touch with family abroad. What a lot of people may not know is that when I was living in Jamaica at the time, I had a blog it was my Year in Jamaica where I would document in Jamaica. Where I would document at the time I was thinking it was sky blog, um where I would document my journey in Jamaica. So, basically, a French in training. My Instagram page is like 2.0 um, because I always like, you know, writing and content creation now as they call it, um so definitely like to share and and it was a way to keep in touch with family as well in one you know spot, one hub, where people could just go and see some pictures and get some you know updates on how life is going.

Speaker 1: 20:42

Basically, yeah yeah, um, you know you mentioned that you were going into the expat communities and trying to like kind of like get more information of that about that, but or from there. But has it been your experience as well? And this is something that I've been observing, you know, and through, especially now, diving more into Caribbean life and Caribbean lifestyle, caribbean people, caribbean cultures, and you notice, I've noticed at least, that you know, we call people that come in from the mainland, we call them expats, but whenever it is a Caribbean person traveling or moving from one island to the other, it's immigrants. So you know it's like it's. You know, you know we you and I are expats as well and we have done the exact same thing.

Speaker 1: 21:29

The only big um difference between us and let us just call it what it is, the white expats is that we may not have been, we may not have moved from the mainland. We have moved from a different island, one and second. We have completely immersed ourselves into the culture of the place that we now call home.

Speaker 1: 21:50

Yeah, now, I'm not saying the white expats haven't done that, but it has been something that I see. It's something that I see every day here in samaritan that you see a lot of the expats trying to stay together and complain about the island life or only do certain things with other expats, with other white expats. They don't really immerse themselves into the culture. Not a lot of them. There's a few of them, of course, but a lot of them don't. So what do you think? What is it like in Trinidad? Is that similar? Did you find that in your research before you moved there? Did you find kind of like in Trinidad? Is that similar? Did you find that in your research before you moved there? Did you find kind of like the similar thing too?

Speaker 2: 22:30

Yes, definitely, and it's so multifaceted, it's really interesting. I definitely, and I want to make a point of saying this I've seen a lot of expats from Europe and other continental countries coming to Trinidad and immersing themselves in the culture, and so I really want to say this, but many times, also for me, because I worked at first in the you know diplomatic realm, first in the you know um diplomatic realm, so I was definitely surrounded with a lot of expats, um, who were coming from the mainland and so on. Now you said, let's say it how it is, definitely my difference was that well, I'm brown, I'm black, so I am an expat, but I am an expat, but I am an islander, and a lot of people were also a lot of trainees were also, you know, quite surprised. So you're French, are?

Speaker 1: 23:31

you sure?

Speaker 2: 23:31

Yeah, the interest grew from there as well. Like yeah, are you sure? Can you say something you know? Because of course they know about Guadeloupe and Martinique, but they also not necessarily know that we are regions and departments of France and that, therefore, we are French citizens. We can say a lot about that too, but that's fine.

Speaker 1: 23:56

Yes, that's another episode.

Speaker 2: 23:58

Yeah, that's another episode, but definitely, definitely, um, for me it was important. Actually, on my instagram, I have a post um that that says how not to be an expat, because there is a lot of stigma on that too. Definitely, people who come here for a few years, um, they do or do not immerse themselves, um, sometimes it's just at surface level. Um, they have to have a good time.

Speaker 2: 24:29

Okay, fair enough, that was not the, the experience that I wanted to have, so I made sure to surround myself with people from all over, not just trainees, not just expats, and so you know I can say that I always had a very warm welcome or I've been well received, because, again, trainees would have questions and try to understand. You know, how is Guadeloupe? A lot of trainees have been to Martinique, which is, I guess, because it's closer to Trinidad, but Guadeloupe much less, and so for me it's really important to be able to kind of um, I'm not gonna say educate, but share about where I come from and explain and, you know, show similarities and differences and lengths and so on so forth.

Speaker 2: 25:31

Imagine that in trinidad and tobago you still have a lot of patois, because a lot of it is actually french influence and so it's a mix between french, english, spanish. So if you go in a community like paramin or lupino, I could have a full conversation with them in patois, slash creole, because it's the same, and so people would not necessarily know that from the guadalupe side. Every time I say that, they're like wow, okay, you know, um, so it's, it's a, it's a eye-opening experience to see how, right around the corner, um, we have people so similar to us that we don't know enough about, and getting that experience to share and receive and so on. So definitely, I love, love being able to go different places meeting different people. Through my husband, I was able to do that as well. So, yeah, that definitely helped, you know.

Speaker 1: 26:42

Oh my gosh, that is the one thing, because in the beginning I had the same, the same, pretty much the same experience.

Speaker 1: 26:48

When you just get here at the beginning now, in my case, saint Martin and Curacao, where I'm originally from, are, you know, part of the Dutch kingdom. So both islands, kind of like, have that in common, but in Curacao we speak Papuantu and Dutch, and then here in Samartin it's English. So that's one of the big differences, and there's a lot of other differences as well. You come with what you know, or what you think you know, from a place, and it isn't until when you settle into it and you start making local friends that you really get to know the place a little bit more deeply. And yes, it was definitely when I met my husband that I started to dive more into the cultural aspects of the island, learning about its ways and why people are certain ways they are, because that's another thing that they don't teach you and you will never be able to find this information online when you're doing your research is that every caribbean island or every caribbean islander is different.

Speaker 1: 27:53

So it's not like you can just move in from a different caribbean island and but because you have that Caribbean route, that is the same, that you're automatically, exactly that. You're going to automatically make new friends. It doesn't happen that way. There's still a big difference between somebody from Curacao and somebody from St Martin or, in your case, somebody from Guadeloupe and somebody from Trinidad. So big big difference still, and it still takes an adjustment period. For sure, saint Martin or, in your case, somebody from Guadeloupe and somebody from Trinidad, so definitely big, big difference still, and it still takes an adjustment period for sure now, what was your?

Speaker 1: 28:25

yes, it is. So what was the main thing that like kind of like shocked you not really shocked you but that you were surprised about in that first year after you moved, that you said, okay, well, now I'm definitely gonna stay here? What was one of those Trini cultures from the Trini culture? What about the Trini culture? Shocked you or surprised you?

Speaker 2: 28:50

so I think for me mainly um, it was the multicultural aspect of Trinidad and Tobago, and it's also the reason I grew to love Trinidad and Tobago Multiple ethnicity, multiple backgrounds, multiple religions. In the same neighborhood you'll find a mosque, a church a temple, you know, and, yes, I had read about it.

Speaker 2: 29:23

and, of course, when I was in jamaica, I met trainees of different backgrounds as well, but it is so vibrant when you are actually in trinidad and you get to experience that um, the openness and the fact that you know you can go and celebrate Diwali and then you have, you know, easter, and then you have Eid, and then you know it's like it is so rich. It is so rich and it manifests in so many aspects of life, like you know, food, oh, I love truly food oh my gosh, please, can we, can we just not?

Speaker 1: 30:00

let's not go there just yet.

Speaker 2: 30:03

This is like okay, all right, just before lunch I'm gonna get really hungry. Let's not do that to ourselves but definitely you know um the much the multicultural aspect, um the fact that also coming from a smaller island which is also very diverse in landscapes and so on, trinidad has that and of course I always say Trinidad, but Tobago as well, and Tobago is actually my happy place because it reminds me of home. But smaller nice landscape and so on. I love nature.

Speaker 2: 30:41

I am a scout, since I'm, since I was five, um, so I think it's called a girl's guide, but I know it as being a scout, um, and so I like being in nature and camping and so on. You know that is great for that. A lot of waterfalls, a lot of you know hikes, that you can do a lot of different attractions, natural attractions. Aside from you know other major events that everybody know of Carnival, of course, of course, but you know a good training Christmas, you know it's just different.

Speaker 1: 31:19

I need to bring you back on the show around Christmas time, just so you can enlighten me on you know how what Christmas is like in Trinidad? I can only imagine that it's like like all other Caribbean islands, it centers around food, but my goodness, when it comes to Trini food and the Trini language and the Trinidadians themselves, you know I have so many Trinidadian friends and it's just they're so. Every time it's like you're in a conversation with a Trini. You cannot, you cannot do anything but smile.

Speaker 1: 31:51

It's just the vibe is just so there, right, it's like. It's like I was interviewing somebody from tobago. We were talking about tobago. He's actually from trinidad but loves, loves tobago and has a, has a social media um channel all about tobago and then so I was talking to him and he said this one thing that will forever stay with me, because it's so true as soon as trinidad reach, the party start definitely definitely.

Speaker 2: 32:23

That is another reason I fell in love with with tnt. I mean, you know the, the warmth of the people, how welcoming things are, um, they will take you in. You know, don't cross them because you know, but but you know just the openness, the friendliness, the. I know St Martin is the friendly island, but in Trinidad they have that as well and I think it links back to the multicultural aspects of it, of it all. But yeah, no, I mean trainees and and then even the accent, you know the little singing and yeah, it is just amazing, it is really amazing. They are so lively, even the way they take and everything and different celebrations. There is always something happening. You know there is a always a line that I was about to say.

Speaker 2: 33:25

There is always a reason to line, but actually there is no need for a reason to line you know it's the lime is there.

Speaker 1: 33:34

Yes, it's like wherever trinitas, trinidad are, the lime is there definitely yeah you're right, it's um, it's, it's just so. I just love that culture and I haven't said, having said that I've never set foot in Trinidad, no, no way, I have never been in Trinidad, I haven't yet oh no, but I'm intending we have to fix that.

Speaker 2: 33:54

I think we have to fix it.

Speaker 1: 33:55

So I want to have to fix it. So I want to talk to you about, you know, growing up in Guadalupe and I love Guadalupe, by the way and there is like, after visiting a few times, the one thing that I cannot wait to go back to is, well, the few waterfalls, yes, and the nature, but what I think I miss most is the food. Yes, but what I think I miss most is the food, yes. Now, luckily, having you know a frank side, to say, martin, I can hop on over to the frank side and, kind of like, have something similar. But it's not the same as when you have an acra or something in in in Guadalupe where you have, like this, chicken colombo or you know, the colom.

Speaker 1: 34:38

Colombo the curled oh my gosh. It's like. Is there anything that you miss from Guadeloupe?

Speaker 2: 34:46

Definitely many things you know. I think living abroad is one of the main things you will miss. A lot of things you will miss. Miss, of course, your loved ones. Um, you will miss milestones, events, family events, weddings, booths, um. On the less fun side, um, I have a few family members that would have passed on while living abroad, not being able to come back, that would have passed on while living abroad, not being able to come back, and so definitely you miss, you know, the family connection and having a support system, but you can build that back in a certain way where you live, and so there is definitely that I also miss some celebrations. Same way, holidays, like my little crab for Easter, you know. I mean I have nothing against hot crust buns and so on, but you know the going to camp on the beach for Easter and eating crab in all different ways. And the food, definitely the food.

Speaker 2: 35:58

Food, like my mom is a big cook, she loves, loves to cook, and I miss my mom cooking like oh my goodness, yeah, she was there right after the birth of of um, our daughter, and I literally was like in a glee because she cooked right through, aside from the rest of the help that she provided, like the cooking was, you know, and it's so, and it's so cool that you're actually saying that, because I mean, you live in one of the caribbean islands that is known for their cuisine, I mean like triniini food is just amazing and you are saying that you still miss certain of your mom's cooking from Guadalupe, and that will be forever.

Speaker 1: 36:45

That will be something that's forever. In my case. It was also realizing that I don't have any family here.

Speaker 2: 36:54

Yeah, yeah and I think yeah.

Speaker 1: 36:58

I mean, you can miss your family. Yes, if I had a lot of times when I miss my family, especially around the holidays, that's when I miss. You know, celebrating holiday in Curacao was it's just definitely not the same as celebrating it here. So that took a lot of getting used to, but I think it's just the realization, and this only happened a few years ago when I was like, oh my god, I have no family here and that is big. Yeah, it is, even though you have a lot of friends and you know you have your husband, you have this, you have that. Yeah, it's not the same. Yeah, your family.

Speaker 2: 37:33

You know, and it sunk into me as well, actually quite recently again, with the abuse of our daughter, because I grew up surrounded by cousins and you know family. We have a very big family. My mom has 12 brothers and sisters. So it's like, you know, I grew up in a certain way, so for me it was like okay, well, now I'm I'm not on my own, definitely, but it's still, like you said, very different from being around your immediate family or even your extended family, broad relatives, um, yes, it's, it's, it's.

Speaker 2: 38:20

It can be disheartening, um, but I think it's about what you make of it and you know the circle that you are able to create um around you, where you are at that point in time. And it's always like a big blast to go back home and see my family and you know um hubby was able to come and meet them and you know um get to know the family just um. Last year we went back to Guadeloupe for two weddings. I was so happy I was able to go and be there for that. So you know, it's like you adjust again, you find ways to cope. There are days where it's not easy, but definitely it's doable, you know, and yeah, sometimes it's not forever either. You know I get asked quite a lot if I would ever go back and live in guadalupe. Who knows?

Speaker 1: 39:29

you never know, you never know you never know yeah, I used to say no, I would never move back to carousel. But really you don't know, you really don't know. And having you know that's another thing. It's just all in your mindset too, if you tell yourself that you want to just stay in, that you know that, that feeling of missing home then, that's all that you're gonna feel. You're not gonna see all the positive sides of where you now live.

Speaker 1: 39:57

But you know, it's just so interesting that you said that. You know there are certain things, of course, that you miss from home, but I was born and raised in Curacao, I lived in the Netherlands and then I moved to Simmerton. So in my case and I'm quite intrigued to know if you are having the same experience there is something that I miss about every single one of those places. You know, when I'm away from St Martin, I miss things from St Martin when I'm away from you know, there are things that I miss from the Netherlands which I never thought I would actually say this. But yes, there are things that I miss from the Netherlands. There are things that I miss from Cur, netherlands. There are things that I miss from carousel. So is that the same as well for you?

Speaker 2: 40:40

definitely, and with you it's a bigger list because you lived in jamaica you were in verbatim for four months.

Speaker 1: 40:46

You were, you know, we were in martinique. So even between guadalupe martinique there's a lot of similarities but a lot of difference as well definitely, definitely.

Speaker 2: 40:55

I think, um, because a lot of times I'm I'm asked you know um, which, which, which country, which island is the best? You know which one I prefer? I'm like it's hard to answer that because every single place has something that is special about it to me. You know, um, and so I am so happy when I get to go back and, for instance, I was in jamaica just um last october and it was great seeing friends again and I also love jamaican food. Right, give me a good festival with your chicken and you know, and the foil and the ketchup, just a little bit of the ackee. The ackee is so festival.

Speaker 1: 41:48

I can have that right now.

Speaker 2: 41:49

You know all those things. All those things you know. I love, love Jamaica, also because of the experience that I had there. It brings back fond memories and, yes, I definitely miss Barbados as well. It was so much different. It reminded me of home as well and, again, I tried as much as possible to immerse in the culture and understand the way of life, and they know that. I mean, you have to experience those islands and see them as they are, which is unique in their own ways. Um, we say one caribbean.

Speaker 2: 42:32

That's all good and well, but, but there are so many differences between us yeah, the specificities are such that you know you grow to love different aspects and different parts. Now, if I was to combine different things like it would be perfect but that's the beauty of it as well, you know the fact that we are different in some ways and that there are things to miss from all places.

Speaker 1: 43:02

Yeah, I feel like that is what makes it interesting. You know, that is what keeps life fascinating. It's like just imagine if you could put a little bit of Guadalupe, a little bit of Jamaica, a little bit of Barbados, a little bit of Trinidad and create your own perfect space.

Speaker 1: 43:19

you'll be bored, I am sure you're going to be bored, because it's just everything is there already. It keeps it fascinating. It keeps it exciting when there are things that we have experienced in the past, that we were lucky to experience, that we can look back on and kind of like, still, you know, puts a smile on our faces.

Speaker 2: 43:39

Definitely yeah, definitely yeah.

Speaker 1: 43:41

All right, so we have a few more minutes before before I let you go, because you know, I don't know. Your baby's probably about to wake up.

Speaker 2: 43:49

It's daddy daycare, so we are good.

Speaker 1: 43:53

Oh, my gosh, daddy's taking care of that. Amazing, I love that. Okay, so what I wanted to ask you as somebody if somebody is listening to this show right now and they want to move to there's a there's a Caribbean Island that they want to move to what advice would you give them? Let's say they want to move to Trinidad Well, we actually covered that, but let's just talk in general. They want to move to a. Whether they're coming from a Caribbean island, they want to move to a different one, or they're coming from the mainland and they want to move to the Caribbean. What are some of the tips that you can give somebody?

Speaker 2: 44:31

Ah, brace yourself. Let's start with that. Brace yourself because, no, it's's true, and you would know that moving abroad is, it's a labor of love. Like you, you have to do it, like, listen, just the and let's get that out of the way one time, because it's true, like the paperwork and the admin stuff, and how many times I wanted to pull my hair out and thinking why did I do this to myself? Like you know, um. So, but? But one thing about it, though, I will say is that it's it teaches you to be resilient and to persevere. And you know, um, I grew so much just from that, um, so definitely, you know you toughen up a little bit, you know you, you learn some lessons along the way, um, so that's you get some blows like oh yeah, oh yeah I'm still getting blows right, so it's always an ongoing process, um, but, but truly it is so enriching, um, personally, like as an individual, you grow so much from that, um.

Speaker 2: 45:52

Another tip is, again do your research as much as possible. Talk to people who are on the ground. I get a lot of messages of people who want to come to Trinidad, either to do an internship, to live in Trinidad. So I mean, my take on that is always yeah, try and talk to people, get some information. Um, you know, try and come, if you can, for a little bit prior, before you decide to move permanently if you can, but when you do that, don't don't treat it like a vacation treat, treat it as what I call a reconnaissance tour, you know go and really deep into, okay, this is how things are done and speak to the locals and yeah, definitely.

Speaker 2: 46:47

I think that's why, for me, the fact that I came for an internship was major in that sense, because I saw the professional working realm, I made more friends. I was there for a short yet long-ish period of time, so I was able to see the country and go places and talk to people and so on, and so I think that is also that is very important when you want to move abroad. You know, just getting familiar and, of course, again, like we said it's, you will not know everything. Some things you will just learn and find out and experience. Yeah, um you're gonna.

Speaker 1: 47:40

You're gonna make some mistakes and you're gonna learn from those mistakes. You have to.

Speaker 2: 47:44

Yes, there's no way around that and and it's it's again a learning curve. You will have to adjust. Some periods will be tough. Um, it's part of it, it's the I want to say, it's even the beauty of it. Um, if somebody had told me you know, even 10 years ago, that this would be my life, are you crazy yet again? Apparently I always said you know because I always had the love for languages. Um, yeah, I always said you know? Oh, my name is Wendy, which is not a. It's a, it's an English, british name, like you know um.

Speaker 2: 48:26

I always love languages, and English in particular, um, and I always said, you know my name would be so good with you know, um, an English last name. And I always said you know my name would be so good with you know an English last name and I will marry an Englishman. Well, look at me now. You know it's crazy. It's crazy. And now, raising well, just starting to raise, you know, a baby who will be binational, it's also a whole different experience. Um, you know, between two languages, two cultures. Yet in the Caribbean um region, you know it's, it's, it's a lot, it's a lot, but it's so beautiful to see it happening. You know, I'm like this is, this will be, I hope, my daughter's biggest flex. To say you know, my mom is from guadalupe, my dad is from chernobyl, you know so do you?

Speaker 1: 49:26

do you speak? I mean, she's really small still, but do you speak both languages to her, so she's gonna be bilingual for sure that is what I do already.

Speaker 2: 49:38

So actually, when I was pregnant, I was already kind of talking to her um, you know, in french, with french and english I ramp up the french, as she's now with us on the side um, and I intend to actually, you know, continue that process, not just talking to her um, and I actually want to touch on that um at some point on on my instagram page on my tips and tricks and strategies to, to, to raise a binational, bilingual, bilingual child.

Speaker 1: 50:13

You know I had to do a lot of research about that.

Speaker 2: 50:17

Yeah, do a lot of research about that as well, because we live in Trinidad and she will be surrounded with English and the Trini culture. But I want her to also remember, you know that she is- Guadalupian.

Speaker 1: 50:33

She's a French-Caribbean, exactly exactly, remember.

Speaker 2: 50:35

You know that she is where she's from, exactly, exactly, and you know, it's definitely an advantage to be able to speak multiple languages. I am the proof of that. So if I can give that to her, that is definitely something that I am committed to doing definitely not to mention, you know just how she's gonna still be in contact with your family, you know whenever your mom comes to visit or she goes over that, she is then able to be completely immersed in conversations with her cousins, and you know her family over on that side.

Speaker 2: 51:14

So it's important, of course, the way of living and all that yeah, yeah absolutely wow, wendy, this has been amazing.

Speaker 1: 51:23

I have to ask you, before I let you go, one more thing that I ask everybody, and that is if you could tell visitors or, in this case, since we've been talking so much about being expats if you could tell an expat two or three things that they should definitely avoid doing.

Speaker 2: 51:48

Oh, that's a twist I did not expect.

Speaker 1: 51:51

Avoid, avoid. These are some of the don'ts for expats that are thinking of moving to Trinidad.

Speaker 2: 52:00

Don't assume that you know everything about Trinidad and Tobago. So be humble. Be humble, like they say. Know your place, right, know your place, know your place. Yes, know your place. They will take you in, but know your place, know your place, and I think it makes for a better experience, right? And to me there is no bigger compliment than to say, oh, you're not trainee, but you're hanging out like the rest of us yes because I know my place.

Speaker 2: 52:42

I learned the ways, I'm still learning the ways. I came with an open mind and a humble self, as much as possible, you know, and being open to learning and discovering new things. The other thing would be be safe, you know. Avoid instances where you know you would put yourself in danger, thinking you know, oh, it's the Caribbean, it's an island, nothing can happen to me. Let's be honest's be real. Let's be safe. Yeah, um, because it's it's unfortunate, but it's a reality. And yeah, coming as though okay, of course you're not a target, but you could be, and that's the reality.

Speaker 1: 53:34

Yeah, and especially, especially if you're making yourself a target by just acting the fool you gotta know that there's a there's a place and time for everything and you can't be walking around drunk in certain areas and stuff like that and I think that goes for pretty much everywhere, flaunting your wealth or yeah you know.

Speaker 2: 53:53

So on so forth because, unfortunately, like everywhere else well, they are people who do not have the best intentions, and that's just the way it is right, so be safe. Avoid, yeah, avoid, avoid making a fool of yourself and putting yourself in trouble. It's not worth it. You know, have a good time, but know yourself, know your place Good.

Speaker 1: 54:23

I like that.

Speaker 2: 54:25

Yeah, and then the last thing I think would be you know um avoid, and and again it's linked to avoid um acting as though you know better um. You know, yes, you come with your own culture and your western centric kind of views, or you know developed country, whatever that is, oh my gosh, I'm so happy that you mentioned that, because we get that so much.

Speaker 2: 55:03

That is the best way to not have a great experience, and it links back to everything I would have said before. And it links back to everything I would have said before just being aware, being self-aware. Being aware because you can't be coming and trying to impose your views and what you know to be you are in a place that is completely different. How people operate is different, how people live is different.

Speaker 1: 55:40

The culture works is different yeah, and this, I think, goes not only for the white expats, it goes for everybody, everybody, everybody know your place I think that would be sad to be what we're saying know your place. You are think that would be sad to leave hours knowing your place. You are in a different country. There's a different way of living here. It is not going to be the same way as what you are used to. So know your place. Yeah, I like that. Thank you so much, wendy. Thank you, this has been amazing.

Speaker 1: 56:11

Yes, I thought it was going to be, and I'm so glad that I finally got you on the podcast, so, so, so thankful for that and, um, yeah, and I think we're gonna have to do this again sometime because there is still so much to discuss and so I would love that oh gosh, absolutely. Um, if anybody wants to know more about you or they want to follow you, where can they find you?

Speaker 2: 56:35

So I'm mainly on Instagram and, um, that's definitely a choice, because you know I could have TikTok and so on and so forth, but I like the Instagram format. Um, I like that you can find me in one place. Um, so my Instagram is a Frenchie in Trini, frenchie with a Y because it's always, you know, ie, but it's Frenchie with a Y in Trini, and so, on this platform, I definitely share everything, or clues, about my experience as a French Islander in Trinidad and Tobago, from culture to food to life experiences, to places to see, to cultural events, it's everything.

Speaker 2: 57:26

It's a bit of a journal for me, like you said in the beginning. People have followed my journey, even through pregnancy to now having our daughter, and for me, I try and keep it as real as possible. I always operated with just my phone and my thoughts and my feelings and my real experiences, trying to share as much as I can, and I hope that this is useful. It's funny because it started really with just wanting to share with the French audience. Turns out 80 to 90% of my audience now is Trini.

Speaker 1: 58:06

It's a non-French, you're kidding Most of them are now from Trinidad, definitely.

Speaker 2: 58:12

I'm actually surprised about that.

Speaker 1: 58:15

I'm surprised about that. I was expecting the biggest part of your audience to come from either different islands or the mainland, since you share about your experience as a French speaker in Trinidad.

Speaker 2: 58:30

Wow in Trinidad.

Speaker 2: 58:33

And a friend actually explained it to me in a way that I was like, oh, because he said well, you know, wendy, your page is like a mirror, where we see ourselves from somebody else's perspective, and it's really refreshing. And I had never thought about it like that, but I get it. I do get it where, yeah, we get to hear somebody else's experience of our own country and just seeing somebody enjoy our country, because a lot of times you get some negative experiences and people like to talk about what's wrong and what goes wrong, and I can touch on that from time to time. But I also want to showcase my adoptive country and how much I love it and how much I have a blast being here, and so I think people enjoy that. At least that's my understanding wow, wow.

Speaker 1: 59:44

Like I said before, it has been amazing having you on the podcast. Thank you again. Is there any parting words that you would like to share before we end this uh podcast episode?

Speaker 2: 59:54

well, definitely thank you for having me, um, like I would have mentioned, to you offline, this is the first time I get to do this in english, so it's definitely exciting um to be able to share and to be able to you know um do this, because for me, it's really all about having that experience of showing and then learning and so on. Um, the work that you do is so, so, so important, so thank you for that. You know we need more of it. There are a lot of creators out there, um, but you know, the value of the content to me is always very important and I definitely appreciate that from you as well. So, yeah, um, I think that's pretty much it to me. Like I like to say, frenchie out isn't she just wonderful.

Speaker 1: 1:00:56

I just love how she has immersed herself in the Trini culture and I don't know if you noticed, but she has even, like, adopted a slight little bit of that Trini accent. I just love it. So if you want to know more about Wendy and her experiences as an expat in Trinidad, go follow her on Instagram. A Frenchie in Trini, it's her handle name, but I have left a link there in the show notes for your convenience, so go check it out. So, my friend, that's it, the end of another episode of Paradise Respecters, and it is almost also the end of season two. Yep, yep, yep. I cannot believe how time has flown by.

Speaker 1: 1:01:37

It is almost time to take a break for the summer, but this time I'm also going to take all of that time to work on something big. Yeah, there are some changes happening or about to happen to my brand, the Travelling Island Girl, and those changes might just spill onto my podcast as well. So there are some changes coming on, and if you want to know more, all you have to do is stay tuned, and I will divulge a little bit more on the big changes coming on in future episodes and, of course, on my Instagram and on my blog. Don't forget to check out my blog, thetravelingislandgirlcom. Now you go, do you remember that true happiness can only be found within you? And with that I'm gonna leave you. I'm your host, rizal the traveling island girl. Bye for now, ciao.