Behind the Glamour: The Reality Of Living In Models' Apartments

You're about to step behind the camera and explore the unvarnished truth of my early years in the world of fashion modeling. Imagine a shared living space in Athens, Greece, a small apartment in New York City, and a myriad of experiences and emotions tied up in each. The struggles, the loneliness, and the sheer effort of figuring out basic life skills on my own. This episode takes you through a world of castings, nightlife, and pressure, but also the lesser-known reality of model apartments and club promoters.

But this journey isn't just about glitz and glamour - there's a darker side to it all. As we move deeper into my experiences, I recount unsettling encounters with club promoters and reveal a chaotic lifestyle that often left me questioning my place in it all. I share stories that might surprise you - of young girls I met, of introduction to harmful behaviors like drugs, alcohol, depression, and starvation. This is a raw and honest account of my modeling journey, breaking down the facade of glamour and laying bare the reality of what goes on behind the scenes. Come, walk through this journey with me.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Testing, testing, testing. Okay, so we're rolling, we're rolling. The podcast situation is a little different right now because I'm just feeling like doing this cash, kind of like Emma Chamberlain. Today's episode is about models apartments and I realize a lot of you might not know what that is. So what is a models apartment? A models apartment is something that your agency, or a modeling agency that represents models, sets up its housing for the models that they represent. So, basically, when a model signs with an agency and they are either coming from overseas to work in a different market, the agency has housing that they set up that the girls can live in.

Speaker 1: 0:45

So my connection to all of this is that way back in the day in 2007, when I signed with my first agency in Europe, i went and stayed in a models apartment and I stayed in about six models apartments over the years, but it was pretty much in the beginning of my career until I had like way before I ever had like my L cover or anything. That was a big break. I was staying in models apartments trying to make it work. So I thought that I would just talk about what that was like, because it was pretty crazy, doesn't even crazy, doesn't even scratch the surface of what it was actually like living in models apartments. So the first one that I ever lived in was in Athens, greece, and so I signed with an agency when I was still in high school and before I even graduated high school, i went and lived there for a month And I think that was kind of like a crash course on what models apartments are like, because it was Athens, so it wasn't even like a major fashion city.

Speaker 1: 1:49

It was just one of these cities that my mother agency had selected that I go and work at. So I went there when I was 18 years old and I remember showing up. I went from the airport to this address, which was the models apartment, which was at the base of the Acropolis in Athens, and it was just this. It felt like a hostel with a bunch of different rooms And in each room they had three beds of girls and guys, male models and female models where we all were just staying And basically there were roommates that you were signed And so I like got to the hotel or the like models apartment It was technically called a hotel but it was a model's apartment And I met these two girls who were from like Lithuania and Estonia, didn't really speak English And basically that was my first models apartment. So you walk in and it's like tiled floors, metal cot beds, twin size beds in one little room and a kitchen, no washing machine or anything like that, and a little standing shower area.

Speaker 1: 3:08

But right away when I got there I felt very alone or very much like it was like you have to figure it all out on your own. I didn't know anything about where to go to a grocery store or even to just like do laundry or anything like that, like life skills Cause this was also like the first time I was kind of on my own, cause as a high schooler, it was the first time I was like just away from home by myself. So I think all of the factors like having it be a totally different country where I didn't speak the language, and they actually faxed us our castings Like every morning you wake up, you go down to the front desk reception area and there's like a fax waiting for you with your name on it that says what your castings are And so, and then that was your day. It's like you get your fax from your agency of what your castings were and then you go. So I would latch on with the other girls and say like, oh, do you have this casting? Okay, cool, like let's go together. So I could like learn where to go, based on where they would like take me and just kind of follow their lead. But so that was the first models department And one thing I learned right away is that the days are for castings but the nights are for going out, and that was what really like that was how people did.

Speaker 1: 4:25

It is they would go on their castings all day long and then at night the club promoters which is the very first time I ever encountered this Club promoters who take the girls to the different clubs around town, show up at the models department and then they take you out to the fancy clubs and stuff. So that was the first time I had ever even gone to a club. But it was kind of like you just do that because that's what your roommates are doing, and so I remember the girls were everyone would be smoking in our actual physical room And that was also the first time I was up close and personal with cigarette smoke like that in a shared space. But it was also surprising to me because the girls I was living with were like 15, 16. I was the old one, i was an 18-year-old, and so to think that we're all sitting in these little rooms, there's smoke everywhere, we have long day of castings, and then Hong Kong there's a club promoter outside waiting to take everyone out to the clubs. And it's not that you don't say, it's not that you can't say no, but you just don't. People just go because it's just what you did. You go to the castings, you go home, you change and then you go to the club And then, yeah, it was just so weird. This was all completely foreign and new, even just getting around. It was just such an eye-opening experience. But that's why I latched onto the other girls that I met in this model department. So that was the first one.

Speaker 1: 6:02

The second one was when I was in New York and I bounced around a couple of models departments in New York when I first signed with my New York agency after I got back from that Athens trip, and those were very cramped. But it was more of living with your agents, because with those set of models departments that I lived in, you lived with the people who were getting you the jobs, like the bookers too, with the other models. And the crazy thing is is that one of those first departments I think it was in the financial district those models that I lived with, one of them went on to be a really big actress. She's all over the place now. It's kind of funny to think She wasn't the most successful model but she went on to be a really big actress, so it's kind of funny. I think we shared a little room at one point. So those rooms were also very cramped because it was New York City for one, but also just the nature of models departments that they're typically pretty cramped. And that was when things got a little bit more real with other things. Like I remember the first time I was around drugs was in a models department One of the ones, i think it was in Midtown in like this basement apartment.

Speaker 1: 7:16

Everybody was sharing. We had a ton of girls to a room and there was like a mold problem. Everybody was in a bad mood. There was lots of fights of like dishes in the sink and, like you know, matches of like you're like nobody's going to clean up after you anymore, like these kinds of like bickering kind of things. But then also that's when it was fast, it was my first fashion week when I was staying in that model department And so people were just stressed. But I also remember being face to face with weird food stuff of like people like these beautiful girls that were from foreign countries that were like afraid to eat dinner because they had to be casting in the morning or stuff like that, and then just I don't know, i felt like it was just like a very dark, dingy environment And it was actually where I began my descent into probably bad behaviors, like very bad behavior surrounding food, because I was so concerned with like what my agency was going to say about me whenever I would go in to get measured and stuff. So that was the first model's apartment that I ever actually got.

Speaker 1: 8:21

Very weird about food was that one the one in midtown that I'm thinking of where I was the first time I had ever gone three whole days without eating, which is pretty crazy. And I remember one of my bookers was like kind of praising me, being like really proud of me. She lived in the apartment, she was really proud of me for like losing weight like that And she actually this is so crazy She gave me this prescription medication. She kind of gave me a bottle and said so it's an anti-seizure medication. I don't remember the name of it, but she said that it'll make you not wanna eat. She's like, if you take this you won't wanna eat. Kind of crazy to think about that. Somebody that I was living with an agency that I was represented by that I'm not gonna say the name of it, wasn't the major agency that I was represented by later when I went on to do bigger things but that she gave me this crazy medication that was not for me, it was not a doctor, it was literally just to make it so I didn't eat or want to eat.

Speaker 1: 9:22

So yeah, weird model's apartment situation. I remember my dad came to visit New York and he came to that model's apartment and he didn't think it was that bad, because it wasn't that bad. It was just that like you're living with strangers in a crammed environment and it's just not fun, like it just wasn't a good environment in general. So then I kind of bounced around from a few different apartments and then I got this. I had to go work in Milan for a little bit, so I went to a model's apartment. Out there One of my New York friends, was already living in that one. When I got there I saw her And that was the first time that I I mean this girl was something else And she, i think I got there and she poured me a whiskey Coke and was like I think it was like 11 am I went from the airport to the model's apartment.

Speaker 1: 10:14

She was like let's have a drink? And I was like, okay, i was like I kind of need to figure out where the grocery store is and stuff and get settled in. And she was like, yeah, like let's have a drink to go to the grocery store. That was the first time I ever like day drink, i think day drink in my life, i think. But again, that was very much club promote, like you go on castings during the day and then you go to clubs at night in Milan.

Speaker 1: 10:38

And that was kind of a crazy living situation, cause I think there were like six of us in a room with the beds kind of like Annie, like lined up like the twin beds of lots of girls from Eastern Europe, like Lithuania and Estonia and Poland and Czech Republic, and we're all in this room in Milan And I remember I was having a really hard time adjusting to the sleep schedule. I was on a totally different schedule, so I would be waking up at two in the morning to start my day, basically cause I just could not sleep And I was so miserable because I had to go to this one little like part of the apartment that had the wifi. There was only one part of the apartment that had wifi and I had to go out there and I would like be on my computer and it was just dark. It was really dark. So, that said, every models apartment experience I feel like was just like really sad, cause everybody was just sad and stressed about work And that dynamic of you're not having, you don't have any personal space, you're just living your life.

Speaker 1: 11:38

Like in such close quarters There's always someone on their phone talking in a foreign language to somebody else, like you're always like just sharing. There's also a lot of stress for, like when you are or aren't working. So if you're working a lot, if you're doing all these crazy shoots and stuff and you're tired, there's a lot of jealousy of other girls being like, well, she's working so much, like why is she getting all the jobs? Oh, it's because she's an American and she's this and that or whatever. But like, even I was confused sometimes when I would get jobs. I'd be like I don't know why you guys didn't get them cause you're so amazing.

Speaker 1: 12:10

This is the other aspect of models departments I thought was so fascinating was it was the first time I was face to face with the girls that I saw in magazines. So I was like you were, you're a big model, you're a big name, you're a big face. And I'm face to face with them in the morning, at night, like when they have no makeup on, and they look even better than they did in their advertisements and their magazines. So I think that was kind of an interesting case study was to be like wow, everyone thinks that, like, these girls and these magazines are all Photoshop and they're not real. No, they are real and they're even better than what you think they are. They're stunning, they're gorgeous. There's specimens from another planet like models. Like these kinds of models especially. I was blown away by like what they actually looked like and what they were actually like, like you know, completely not glamored up. So that was an interesting case study.

Speaker 1: 13:03

They also like there was this idea that, like a lot of times with the work ethic, modeling is more about like truly making a living, as opposed to just somebody thinks they're like, they look a certain way and they should be modeling. I feel like in America, a lot of people would like think of themselves as attractive and they'd be like I should be a model, like selfie, selfie, selfie. I felt like in models apartments especially models apartments overseas there wasn't that as much as like how can I make a living to provide for my family and send money back home? Like that's more the like mentality, which is maybe why it was kind of dark, because it was like modeling was just it is a job. It's not like how someone sees themself or something. So I think that the the other interesting thing that I saw was that there were no rules with what we should and shouldn't be doing, like I feel like there's there was no boundaries with like our agents living with us, telling us what we should and shouldn't do, things that just I don't know. I just don't think it was totally like clear boundaries of having separation from work, like even just the fact that like I think there's like, especially if somebody's like getting into modeling, like there should be a time and a place you go that has nothing to do with modeling and with models apartments there was none of that. So it was just constant 24-7, like.

Speaker 1: 14:23

I think that's probably why I was so depressed inside of it was because it was like I didn't really feel like I belonged half the time I show up to castings and I was like I don't know why I'm here, i don't get it like. I think the imposter syndrome was very strong. But, um, yeah, i definitely want to want to go back to the those days. But I think that the craziest thing to me was just to see like this lifestyle that was so chaotic, of like so much like physical work, of going on these castings and then going out at night and having these creepy promoters that were like older, like late 20s, 30s, coming and picking up 15 year old girls and expecting them to like go out.

Speaker 1: 15:03

I remember this one girl I bonded with I can't remember what her name was, god. She was so beautiful, she was from Poland and she was so young and we went on castings together. She kind of like was showing me around, i think in Milan It was either Milan or Athens and she, um, she didn't want to go to the club but she like felt like she had to. She was so tired just like I'm so tired from the shoots, from this and that and she was like please, please, please, come with me. And I said I would. But then I was tired, i didn't want to. So there was a night when I was like I just want to have the house to myself, i want to have the apartment to myself. Everyone's gonna go out at eight o'clock, i want to be alone. And uh, so I said I couldn't go, and she got so mad at me, she was just so sad that she didn't have like a friend or a wingman to go with, and I think that that, like that's very telling, because she just felt so obligated like she had to go out.

Speaker 1: 15:56

The other thing was that, like a lot of times the promoters, like these club promoters, would convince the girls to come because they would take them to dinners beforehand, like really fancy, nice dinners. But the whole thing was like I think like these rich guys would pay for these fancy dinners with models, and so then the promoters would come to the model department and bring the models and they get these fancy dinners, but there would be like these weird dudes at the table and it was like are we supposed to talk to? like what is this? what's going on? what's going on? that's what I was, i feel like I was always asking, like who are these guys? why are these guys here? and even the clubs, like you'd have like there'd be a table of the model, table of champagne, like crazy stuff, and then there would be these like dudes at the table that nobody really knew but we were supposed to be sitting with them and stuff. So that was weird.

Speaker 1: 16:46

I didn't fit in. As you can tell, i was not the archetype of what, who thought that was fun or cool. But I will say that there was one time I was on the highway in in a club promoters, the back of a club promoters car, going like 100 miles an hour on a highway, with a bunch of people everyone was on something, drunk, whatever, and I just remember we were like racing someone else on the highway, on this European highway which I guess didn't have speed limits or something or I don't know, and this guy, like, was next to us and he pulled his pants down like and like, mooned us from his car in the back seat. It was like I thought I was gonna die, and then I went from that to the airport to go back to New York for a job, like I was just non-stop go, nonstop and chaos. But I definitely was introduced to drugs, alcohol, starvation, depression.

Speaker 1: 17:57

In models apartments. I feel like they were like the most horrific backdrop of what the industry is And like I remember, like during fashion week, going to bed at night thinking like everybody thinks I'm living this glamorous life And I'm in my little cot and like there's bedbugs and it's cold and I can't. I'm like I have a cough because I can't really breathe And there's smoke, cigarette smoke in my hair because like everyone fills the apartment with cigarette smoke 24 seven. So I just like smell. Oh yeah, just the worst, the worst existence. But yeah, so that's what it was like living in a model's apartment. I hope you enjoyed this episode of the Blue CBHX podcast. You can find me on Instagram. I'm at Lucy Biedrich's L-U-C-I-E-B-E-A-T-R-I-X. And until next time, just be fast, just win. Print Of Cry40 наш M-E-N-A-N-A-N-E, m-e-n-a-n-e, m-e-n-a-n-e you.