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Legends, Loot, & Lore: A Players's Guide to Dungeons and Dragons
"Legends, Loot, & Lore" is a fun Dungeons and Dragons podcast where host Andrew and co-host Catherine dive into the thrilling realms of D&D, delivering news, tips, interviews, and fascinating tales of legendary adventures, all from the perspective of someone new to or interested in playing Dungeons and Dragons.
Legends, Loot, & Lore: A Players's Guide to Dungeons and Dragons
A Tiefling, Gnome, and Human Walk Into a Tavern: Mirth, Magic, and Mayhem Ensues
Ever wondered how a gnome, a tiefling, and a human with a dire wolf companion might navigate the perils and hilarity of a fantasy quest? Strap in for an episode of Legends, Loot, and Lore that promises side-splitting laughs and heart-pounding action as our beloved trio of Catherine, Fable, and James bring their eclectic characters to life. Zanros Bemblebomble, Dal Solice, and Iquium Arravius are not your average adventurers; their journey from the cozy taverns of Neverwinter to the treacherous Triboar Trail is littered with goblin negotiations, dire wolf antics, and the kind of camaraderie that could either save the world or hilariously doom their mission.
Hold onto your hats as we regale you with tales of our heroes' unlikely friendships, forged in the face of mischievous plans and magical misadventures. Witness the group's whimsical strategy sessions and their encounters with creatures both benign and malevolent. Their route is fraught with challenges, but it's the moments of unexpected companionship and the bonds between a warlock and his dire wolf, a monk with acrobatic flair, and a cleric with moon-influenced moods that truly define this rollicking escapade. Whether they're rescuing kidnapped miners or wrangling goblin allies with questionable loyalties, each twist and turn is another stitch in the fabric of their shared legend.
Join us for an episode that weaves a rich narrative tapestry, where critical rolls and character quirks collide to shape the destiny of our brave band. From the natural 20s that seal the fate of their goblin foes to the trust established through a necromancy spell gone gruesomely right, every action and decision culminates in an adventure that's as unpredictable as it is enchanting. So, grab your character sheets and dice - it's time to follow our intrepid adventurers as they confront the mysterious Spider, rescue Gundren Rockseeker, and write their names in the annals of Legends, Loot, and Lore.
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Welcome everyone back to another fantastic episode of the Legends, lute and Lore podcast. Today we are doing our actual play of Fan Delver and Below the Shattered Obelisk. Very exciting Joining me today are our three players. I will have them introduce themselves. We have Catherine, vable and James all here at the table, ready to go. They will tell us a little bit about themselves, a little bit about their character and anything else they feel like sharing. So let's say, how about you, catherine, since you're to my left? Hello.
Speaker 3:Hello, how are you? I'm great thank you, glad to hear it.
Speaker 2:I'm glad you're glad.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:Tell us about yourself and your character.
Speaker 3:What do you want me to tell you about me?
Speaker 2:I know everything about you, but our listeners don't.
Speaker 3:Do you know everything about me?
Speaker 5:I'm just here to be her sound effect while she's doing it.
Speaker 3:Thank you, James.
Speaker 2:Twenty-twenty-one years of this.
Speaker 3:Yeah, everybody feels so bad for you, love you, hashtag couple goals. Love you. Yeah, so I'm Catherine.
Speaker 2:Yes, Catherine.
Speaker 3:I am playing Zan Rose Bumblebumble.
Speaker 2:Zan Rose Bumblebumble, and what type of character is Zan Rose?
Speaker 3:A rock gnome monk.
Speaker 2:Rock gnome monk. So you will be a small martial artist.
Speaker 3:Yes, I'm very tiny but very mighty.
Speaker 2:And what is your one goal for this campaign that we talked about in session zero?
Speaker 3:To open the Bumblebumble BNB.
Speaker 2:That's right, so stay tuned. There will be a spin-off series, the Bumblebumble BNB.
Speaker 5:The.
Speaker 2:Bumblebumble BNB podcast.
Speaker 5:The favorite state place of BBEGs, that's right.
Speaker 6:Rose, my friend calls them BBGs.
Speaker 3:Baby girl.
Speaker 2:Wow, Excellent. So so tell us, tell us one thing that we don't know yet about your character.
Speaker 3:I don't know. Do I know everything about my character? Well, it's your character, I'm making this up as I go.
Speaker 2:Well, that, there you go, so make something up.
Speaker 3:All right, hold on, I have her backstory here.
Speaker 2:Let's see what is the the tragic backstory of Zan Rose Bumblebumble.
Speaker 3:She doesn't really have a tragic backstory because she's born of nobility but really all she wants in life is to open a BNB.
Speaker 2:Interesting.
Speaker 3:Even though she's kind of off-putting and always says the wrong thing.
Speaker 2:That's a great for an innkeeper. Innkeepers who have no like bedside manner will be will be amazing too. Let's see if she can keep her guests once they check into the BNB.
Speaker 3:I mean awkward people deserve to have businesses too.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I couldn't agree more Well, thank you.
Speaker 3:You're welcome.
Speaker 2:Fable, hi, fable, hi Hi, hello, so tell us about your character.
Speaker 3:Um.
Speaker 6:I got um Dal yeah Solis. They are currently a hermit living in the Neverwinter woods.
Speaker 2:Yes, kind of by themselves. And what and what kind of character is Dal Solis?
Speaker 6:Um, they kind of change with the moon. Well, what's, what's, what race are they? They're a tiefling cleric.
Speaker 2:They're a tiefling cleric, and they change with the moon.
Speaker 6:A bit their personality.
Speaker 2:Interesting. So their personality is tied to the, the phases of the moon. Just a little bit, just a tad Interesting. Okay, I'm curious to see how that will play out. Very exciting. Is there anything, anything unknown about your character that we should know?
Speaker 6:Um, they're really good at interior design.
Speaker 2:They are good at interior design. Yes, I still have to. I you have to send me those images so I can, so I can post them of your I have to finish them first.
Speaker 2:Okay, we'll finish them first and then we'll, then we'll post the images of your, your humble abode amid the Neverwinterwood. Excellent, james, welcome James, thank you, how are you? I'm well, thank you, I'm so glad to hear it. So tell us, so tell us a little about yourself, tell us about your character, whatever, whatever you'd like to share with our, our fantastic listeners.
Speaker 5:So I don't know which episode to reference number. So okay, cause we did that, yes, okay. So some of them have heard me before. That's true At least hear me ramble on about stuff. That's right, yeah, there you go. I'm James and I'm playing a male human warlock, iquium Arrevious Nice, and his trusted friend and sidekick, companion Calliastris the destroyer, otherwise known as Calli Calli the destroyer.
Speaker 2:Excellent, yes, and what and what is Calli?
Speaker 5:Calli is a dire wolf. Yes, yes. Sort of um. I like to think that he gets himself into these situations where he you know he's a puppy home and and all of a sudden it's not a puppy Right. It's kind of like that whole meme thing of the woman bringing home the coyote and telling her husband she just Photoshopped everything, right. Like dear God, it's an animal. Get it out.
Speaker 5:But that's that's, that's, I think, his little bit of chaos in all his order is like having having the affection for this animal and being protective of it, but him being it being protective of him, uh, even more so because he's not. He's not the strongest guy.
Speaker 2:No, he's not.
Speaker 5:Um, you know, he's, he's reasonably intelligent, he's, he's a bit charming. Um, he gets along, you know, he gets along with people. He likes the Dwarven folk and loves to hang out and drink with them and and, uh, you know that sort of thing, and that's all I'm going to reveal for now.
Speaker 2:What, what, what is? What is the strength score of of Equion?
Speaker 5:He should probably not even be a farmer, because, um yeah, it's a five.
Speaker 2:And I think, I think we had, we had talked about this when we were building the character we had. We had talked about, uh, the Samuel L Jackson character in Unbreakable.
Speaker 5:Yes, mr Glass. Yes, mr Glass, almost that kind of, that kind of I think his, his outlook is he finds, he finds order in things. He either finds order and looks to make order in the university he has, he is the, he is the um, his first level. Does he have his packed yet? Because he's packed with the the old one.
Speaker 2:I think they do. I think at level one they have, they established the packed out at level one.
Speaker 5:Yeah, my confession to you is this is the first spellcaster in a long time that I played Usually, usually on the guy breaking down the doors or picking locks or or or or or, you know, hanging out in the woods with my married men, kind of thing.
Speaker 2:So that's what would be fun for you oh, absolutely. Well, and you and you'll, and you'll, and you'll got, you've got Kali, so you can, you can always attack with Kali, yeah.
Speaker 5:Sandy, think I'm going to die or we'll find your sign.
Speaker 2:Yes, and and Kali will. When we get to it, when we, when we do the initiative roles, Kali can act on your, on my initiative, on your initiative. So awesome, so we can. We can play it that way, Excellent.
Speaker 5:Being the squishy little spellcaster.
Speaker 2:Yes, that's right. So you can stay back and Kali can go in and fight for you. Fight your battles, fetch, that's right. Bring me the.
Speaker 5:Fetch me their femur. That's right, nice, fetch me their femur. Oh, I'm totally stealing that fable. I like it, I love it Awesome.
Speaker 2:Well, well, thank you all for being here. I can tell you how excited I am to to DM this campaign. This is really I've, I've, I've DM'd a little bit, but this is this is my first in person DMing experience, so I am I am super psyched and ready to ready to get into it. Thank you for thank you to all of our listeners again. We appreciate you hanging out with us for for however long this takes. We're going to start with chapter one, we'll get into chapter one of Van Delver and below, but we've got to transport ourselves into the town of Neverwinter and you, you find yourselves all making making your way into a tavern. And now who, who was it that knows? Do you know Gundren? He's the one that knows Gundren.
Speaker 5:Okay, Gundren and I go way back.
Speaker 2:Excellent, I got to remember this. There's handouts Very exciting.
Speaker 3:So exciting.
Speaker 2:I know you're excited.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we get excited.
Speaker 2:All right, so so how? So tell us, tell us each you know, take your turns and tell us a little about how you're, your character, coming into this tavern, you know what you see when you, when you get in there. There is a a half orc bartender behind the bar serving drinks. It's a it's a dark kind of low lit room and there there's a few tables around serving food as well. So it's it's not terribly busy at the moment but there. But there are people in the tavern kind of talking to each other. There there's a little bit of noise going on and I will I want to make sure I don't forget the our, our sound effects, courtesy of pocket bard. I love this thing so much.
Speaker 6:I love it too. It's so cool.
Speaker 2:Let's see. There's so many, so many interesting things we can do with this. Let's take a look, let's go into. Oh. Welcome to the town of Neverwinter Catherine.
Speaker 3:Andrew.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry, I will refer to you by your character names. So, zanrose, tell us. Tell us what Zanrose does. Arriving to the tavern, what would you like to do?
Speaker 3:Zanrose just wants a drink. So Belly's up to the bar, except not really Belly's, because three foot five bartender does not notice Zanrose at first.
Speaker 2:No, the bartender does not.
Speaker 3:So Zanrose bangs on the side of the bar just gives it a little hey.
Speaker 4:I'm down here and I'd like a drink.
Speaker 2:So the half-orc goes. Oh, who's there Looking around, still can't see you. Down here you big dummy. That's how we're going to play this. I say so. The half-orc goes. Don't insult my intelligence. If you want anything from here.
Speaker 4:Well then, look down, Am I the first? Am I the first to know me you've ever seen?
Speaker 2:No, but you could at least hop up on a seat. Get my attention.
Speaker 4:You want me to stand on a stool All right.
Speaker 3:Then she gets up on a stool and does a little backflip off of it because she's super acrobatic and showing off.
Speaker 2:Roll for acrobatics.
Speaker 3:Sixteen.
Speaker 2:Oh, sticks the landing Perfect 10. I don't know if I got the perfect 10, but perfect 10.
Speaker 5:So the judge from Romania gives you a 3.2.
Speaker 2:So the half-orc is Not terribly impressed but says what are you drinking? Just give me a mead Borscht a drink and pops it down on the bar. Are you going to sit at the bar? You're going to go over to a table.
Speaker 3:I'll go over to a table.
Speaker 2:You'll go over to a table. Ok, yeah, got it. So there's a couple open tables. You're going to sit down there with your mead and drink Fable.
Speaker 6:Hello.
Speaker 2:Hello, so what are you doing?
Speaker 6:Dahl is going to walk in and try to take a seat by the corner. They're not really there to drink.
Speaker 2:Not really. So you're going to take a seat by the corner. So there's this one table where Zan Rose is and they're kind of there. There's some other tables nearby, so you're going to take another empty table. Ok, so you're just sitting there. You want anything? You know someone comes up. Hey, you want anything to eat?
Speaker 6:Just there to people watch.
Speaker 2:There to people watch. Fine, you got to order something, though, if you want to stay in here.
Speaker 6:What do you got?
Speaker 2:We got all sorts of food, shepherd's pie, I'll take a shepherd's pie. Take a shepherd's pie. All right, I'll go get you shepherd's pie. Here we are.
Speaker 5:So this is what's the name of the pub.
Speaker 2:That's a great question.
Speaker 5:We're going to say I know the name of the pub.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know you're familiar with it. Yeah, so it's the.
Speaker 5:Neverwinter Inn. So I've been here a lot. Yes, I, because of my rustic hospitality and coming from the common folk, yeah, I hang out in bars, I enjoy the bars of Neverwinter and and I know the bartender and the dwarves who come in here and drink and so I walk in and have my norm moment from Cheers. Yes. And I belly up to the bar.
Speaker 2:So the half work is helping some other people at the bar and spot you out of the corner of his eye. Human welcome.
Speaker 5:Good to see you, my old friend. I'll have the largest flog in the veil that you have.
Speaker 2:Are you sure you're going to be able to lift that, my friend.
Speaker 5:Yes, I'll sip it if I have to Thank you so much Will you be like an straw. One does not sip ale from a straw. My friend Is to be enjoyed, it's to be, it's to fill the air with its effervescence. And if I have to look it out of a bowl like a dog, I'll do so because I enjoy it so much.
Speaker 2:Ha ha, ha ha ha. You are too funny human. So the bartender goes off and pours your large, large container of ale and comes back, comes back to you and he says I've got something for you other than this drink. And he slaps this piece of paper down on the table for you. I would love for you to read this.
Speaker 5:Greetings, friends. My brother and I are on to something big and I want to bring you in on it. By the time you receive this, I'll have left on a horse for Fandelen, along with a warrior I met here named Silda Hallwinter. With friends like you, I can't claim to be the best judge of character, but he seems to seems like an honorable sort. We have some important business to attend to in Fandelen, but left without the supplies we'll be needing later, that's where you come in.
Speaker 5:The bearer of this message can lead you to my supply wagon, which must make it safely to Fandelen as soon as possible it is just a couple of days south of here delivered to Bathen's provisions, and Elmina will pay you 10 gold each. That's right, each. I can't tell you anymore just yet, but I'm throwing around gold like that. You know it's a big deal. Once you get paid, come find me at the Stone Hill Inn. You can buy me a drink with my coin and hopefully I'll be able to tell you more. My best Gundren. So my good friend has a score Fantastic.
Speaker 2:Yes, so you not being the strongest of constitutions, you are going to need some help to transport these goods from Neverwinter to Fandelen. So how would you? You've got a tavern full of people here. Do you want to find people here? Take a look around, see who might be.
Speaker 5:Yeah, I want to take a look around and see who's in the bar. All right, you know people, I know versus people, I don't versus people who might be up for the job. Yes, and they could be three distinct types in my mind Because, yes, since I frequent this place so much, I would say I know who not to trust.
Speaker 2:Yes, you definitely know who the regulars are, so you see a lot of the usual suspects in the tavern tonight. However, you do notice one person, a very small stature, who is extremely well dressed. This doesn't look like they're normal. They don't look like the typical type of person that might be at this tavern. This does not look like their place. They definitely look out of place to you having a drink and you notice this rather tall, extremely tall creature who you don't see many of in these parts. Can I ask?
Speaker 5:a question? Yes, are they as tall or taller than me, and I'm six foot four?
Speaker 2:They are taller, they're taller.
Speaker 5:Fascinating. They are taller. Their height comforts me already.
Speaker 2:They're about what? Six, five.
Speaker 6:The horns it's like over seven.
Speaker 2:Exactly six, five plus the horns.
Speaker 5:So Plus the horns. Those are the horns.
Speaker 2:So the horns are above that. So you see someone very tall, very out of place. Teflings, tieflings are not that common, so you definitely, and they're just kind of sitting there. They haven't gotten their food yet, so they're just kind of watching what's going on and maybe catch your eye, as they're watching everything that's going on, because they're people watching, so maybe you catch your eye, but that's what you see in the tavern.
Speaker 5:So I only see them and the two of them. I've seen both of them.
Speaker 2:You see both of them, because they're the two that seem most out of place in among the tavern goers at this point.
Speaker 5:And I will say I would generally feel akin to that only because he doesn't exactly fit in himself.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 5:And while, oh, it's Gundren, Gundren, Rockseeker right.
Speaker 2:Gundren Rockseeker.
Speaker 5:So the little one is by the bar.
Speaker 2:The little one has taken a table has taken a table.
Speaker 2:They're both at tables kind of near each other In kind of in the darker recesses of the tavern, so they're again high society kind of above everybody else that's in there, and kind of an out of place tiefling who you don't like. I said, you don't really see tieflings. You know if they're kind of infernal background, so you know of tieflings and kind of what they represent, but you don't see them very often and they're kind of there's probably they're not next to each other at two different tables but in the general vicinity of each other in the tavern.
Speaker 3:Can I mention one thing? That would be relevant when I finally meet Iquium.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 3:Last week we rolled to see whether Callie the Direwolf would eat me Because Zanriss is so tiny, and the answer was no, Callie was gonna like me.
Speaker 5:So no snackies.
Speaker 2:But I don't think Callie is in the tavern, because Where's Callie being a Direwolf?
Speaker 3:Doesn't she want like a drink?
Speaker 2:Direwolves are large. They are large creatures.
Speaker 5:Callie and I basically have a bit, so I'm gonna tell you yeah, so as a distractionary measure, callie knows when to quote unquote attack me Right, and so, as purely as a distraction, because I'm a spellcaster, because I know that I probably wouldn't survive a fight with any sort of guard or whatever. She is trained to attack me out of nowhere. But of course she'll push me down and make like she's gonna rip my head off and just give me kisses and stuff like that.
Speaker 3:Can we assume, then, that she's outside, but I can see her head through the window.
Speaker 2:That's a really good question, because Iquium arrived after you, yeah, so where would you have put Callie when coming into the tavern?
Speaker 5:So we've been in Neverwinter a little while now. So, she knows kind of where to hide in places that we go, and so I would say she gets anxious if I'm inside too long, got it? So after a while, yeah, she would probably look in windows and stuff like that. But like be very cautious, because it's kind of hard to hire, it's kind of hard to hide a dire wolf in the middle of a town.
Speaker 2:Little, just a little.
Speaker 5:So she, you know.
Speaker 2:They don't blend in well.
Speaker 5:They don't blend in well. She does have her own quote, unquote disguise, which is, for lack of a better term, a series of burlap sacks that cover her up, so she looks like a misshapen cow.
Speaker 2:Got it.
Speaker 5:And her tail sticks out a lot of the time and kind of screws up her disguise.
Speaker 2:Got it.
Speaker 5:So cloth or sailcloth or burlap or whatever, it's just kind of. It's a really awkward costume. But nobody seems to question it, because they don't see her, they don't see her snout, and that's when they see her face, then they get afraid.
Speaker 2:Got it so yeah, All right, so there are some. There is a window. So right where, right where Dal is sitting, there's a window right behind Dal and Dal's horns are kind of up in front of the window. But through that window is peering, because you kind of see the disguise but you clearly see the eyes of this thing, just kind of just looking in, checking out what's going on inside, looking to try to find where, where Iquium is, just for that level of comfort. So you definitely notice something going on outside. It looks like a really bad cow costume. Yeah, Do you ever see the movie Top Secret?
Speaker 5:Yes.
Speaker 2:Do you remember the cow? When the two guys were in the cow costume going through the field?
Speaker 5:that's like however the cow boots on like that's how I'm. I'm good with that yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 4:Absolutely.
Speaker 2:That's what I'm imagining, All right, so okay, so you've gotten your drink, you've gotten this letter.
Speaker 5:You need to find some people to help you transport these goods, so I would, I would, I would say I would probably be prone to going to whatever table is closest to. If it's Dal near the window, I'd want to be near the window only to give Callie hand signals to, just it's okay like really, I'll bring you a snack, just stop, okay, yeah, so I'd be more likely to sit down there.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 5:So pardon me. This is my usual table. Do you mind if I share it with you?
Speaker 6:Why not?
Speaker 5:Fantastic love the horns.
Speaker 6:Kind of looking at them weird, because I'm not used to that, because people are not usually the biggest fan of tea feelings. But I just give them a side eye, I'm like yeah, no, genuinely, genuinely, I'm curious.
Speaker 5:I've never met anybody like you. I think it's fantastic, and whether you want to do an insight check or not, that's entirely up to you, but he's genuinely curious. It's like kind of fascinated because he doesn't look like most people here either.
Speaker 2:so yeah, so yeah so yeah, so you don't, you're, you're, you are. I don't know what to say. You're horns are kind of sensing what's going on here and you don't know. You don't know because, again, being the hermit, you don't know, you don't hang out with people. Exactly, little antennas.
Speaker 5:Like a little radar.
Speaker 2:Exactly exactly that's exactly what I was thinking Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. So again, being a hermit living in Neverwinterwood for the most part, you know this is. You're not comfortable with interaction with other people, so Not at all. So so do let's do an insight check to see if you, if you, trust this person.
Speaker 3:Let me pull up my can you remind me to add my bonuses, because I totally had a 22 on that back flip, so it was a perfect 10. Oh. I forgot to add my plus six for acrobatics.
Speaker 5:Nice. The judge from Romania would like to adjust the score Instead of 3.2, it will be 2.3.
Speaker 2:I got a 10. Ooh, you got a 10. So you're really on the fence. You don't know whether to trust this guy or not, so you're hesitant, but he does insist that this is he does. You're convinced that this is his usual table, so it's up to you if you want to.
Speaker 5:So, as part, can I roll a performance check against her insight check? Sure, and the reason would be is because I associate with the common folk very freely and I'm very open to them. I like hanging out with them, I like drinking with them, so I will roll performance to see how convincing 14.
Speaker 2:So you are pretty convincing, so you're very believable. Dow, I think, is probably a little bit socially anxious, so you'll invite him to sit down at the table, but you're still hesitant to make conversation. And as he's sitting down, waitress comes over and brings you your shepherd's pie. Are you sure you don't want anything to drink with that? I'm good, thank you, All right all right, is this man bothering you? No. He's harmless, I assure you. He's in here all the time. Don't worry about him.
Speaker 5:Dowdy, you ask that to everybody when I sit down. It's your shtick.
Speaker 2:I just I'd like to tease you. I get it, I'd like to tease you.
Speaker 5:I love you dearly, Dowdy Enjoy your drink.
Speaker 2:Can I have a shepherd's pie too? I don't say, why not Fantastic.
Speaker 5:I'll have what she's having.
Speaker 2:All right, so waitress goes on and is going to go get your shepherd's pie. So what would you like to do? You want to say anything to Iquium?
Speaker 6:I was just going to say, dow is a bit reassured that he is actually in here all the time based off that interaction. So she's like scooting away a little but she's like at least I know he's not lying to my face. Got it excellent.
Speaker 2:Can I ask you about?
Speaker 5:can I ask you a question? I don't see, why not. Hi, I'm Iquium Adavius. I'm your servant.
Speaker 6:Dow Dow.
Speaker 5:Fantastic Dow, can I ask you a personal question?
Speaker 6:You can ask it, I don't know if I'm going to answer no obligation then no obligation, then.
Speaker 5:Your horns Fantastic. So I was just wondering. I'm so sorry I've knocked my drink off the table. I'm so excited to talk to you about your horns, but I would ask you this on holidays, do you decorate them?
Speaker 1:Oh, she's very shocked by that Is that too personal a question.
Speaker 5:I don't know your people, so I'm just very curious. I know I ask odd questions all the time, but I assure you it's just really. I enjoy information greatly, just just devour information on the whole, because I'm not going to the gym, clearly, so I'm just going to go to the gym and I'm going to the gym. So I was just curious about your customs.
Speaker 6:I would not say I decorate them for the holidays, though I do keep them nice to say so like just polish, or they're sanding like is there?
Speaker 5:what kind of maintenance are we talking? Is that too personal? I'm sorry.
Speaker 6:It's a bit odd, but I'll humor you. That's all I'm looking for.
Speaker 5:Just just a little just humor me Make something up. If you want Make up a story, it's OK. I'll probably believe it but it'll amuse us both. Then, if you make up some wild tale about your horns, well I would say it depends on the teethling, the type of upkeep.
Speaker 6:But I personally have to polish mine, interesting you, polish those horns.
Speaker 2:They're very shiny. They are sparkly. Do they sparkle more in the moonlight or?
Speaker 6:Yes, interesting, interesting Sorry.
Speaker 2:I had to ask. I'm glad you didn't.
Speaker 5:I'm rather fascinated by that, because the suggestion that you polish your horns suggests that there are teethlings who don't, who look like they're not. I'm not sure. I'm not sure there are teethlings who don't, who look rather shabby with their horns. Is that so?
Speaker 6:It really depends on the type of horn. There's a bunch of different types of horns.
Speaker 5:It's very diplomatic of you. By the way, don't mind the window. I'm going to throw out some signals out the window, as Callie is peeking in. I'm like that's not really a cow.
Speaker 6:I didn't even realize. I look back and I'm just like, oh my God.
Speaker 2:Those are just, these very large eyes, just like staring through the window, intently focused on Iquium.
Speaker 6:How tall is the ceiling in here?
Speaker 2:You definitely have room. I would say it's probably. How tall are you with the horns?
Speaker 6:Like seven one, I think.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they're probably eight foot ceilings. It's not terribly high, but you don't have to duck to be in here.
Speaker 6:That clarifies.
Speaker 2:Does that help? Okay, good.
Speaker 5:So the image you see as you turn around and look through the window is actually these two eyes and what appears to be a piece of cloth, but up against the window and it's fogging the window and it just you can tell it's breathing very heavily at times and it's seemingly judgy for a quasi cow looking being.
Speaker 6:What in the hell is that thing?
Speaker 5:Oh it's just just a friend Like I start gesticulating wildly to get Callie to hide again, Hide again.
Speaker 6:Dall is just watching us in disbelief, with no words.
Speaker 5:She will retreat but she will become more and more insistent the longer I stay inside.
Speaker 2:So roll for persuasion and persuading Callie to to go and hide there is no persuading Callie to destroy, I got a nine.
Speaker 5:Oh wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Persuasion, that's a good one. So reluctantly, reluctantly reluctantly.
Speaker 2:Callie guy is like all right, so so. So Callie kind of doesn't doesn't necessarily disappear, but kind of just sinks down, tries to, tries to make her, make her make herself small. She's trying to, trying to be a small little dire wolf, that's, that's, that's accurate it's actually accurate for my Callie to destroy? I mean, I'm not sure if it's accurate but I think it's accurate.
Speaker 5:It's actually accurate for my Callie to destroy.
Speaker 2:All right, so so. So you're going to try to convince.
Speaker 5:She's very much of the mind of if you can't see me, if I can't see you, you can't see me.
Speaker 6:Yes, yes, that's, that's my cat. I'm not doing anything. I'm not eating a goblin, or anything.
Speaker 5:It's okay, don't just look away.
Speaker 2:That's right so. So what do you want to try? Do you want to so? So, Are you going to try to persuade Dow to join your adventure?
Speaker 5:So, dow, I have a friend, his name is Gundren, he's Dwarf of my acquaintance, and do you feel like going on an adventure?
Speaker 6:What type of adventure?
Speaker 5:Oh, just well, I want to say adventure, but it's really kind of. You know, Gundren needs supplies and he left me a wagon to bring him his supplies. I just need a little bit of help to go and find the supplies, deliver them.
Speaker 6:Dow's like very suspicious. She's like what?
Speaker 5:are we transporting. Well.
Speaker 2:Would you like to know what's in the wagon? Sure, so it's just, you're going to be supported driving a bunch of mining supplies. So there's food, there's flour, salted pork, kegs of strong ale, shovels, picks, crowbars a dozen or so of each of those some lanterns, some oil. It's a bunch of stuff that you would think for that miners would need for their kind of work.
Speaker 5:And plus food and food to eat. So, knowing all that, I turned it down and I go. We're going to be transporting drugs and ale to the dwarves. Okay, maybe not drugs and ale, but well, ale. But Okay, they like to bake too, so there's some flour involved. Just things that you need to mine, which is what dwarves love to do, I see. I just ruined the drugs just be amusing for you, since you told me about your shiny horns.
Speaker 6:Okay, where would we be going? What's in it for me?
Speaker 5:Payment.
Speaker 6:Of what kind?
Speaker 5:Of the gold kind how much of the gold kind. Hmm, I don't know yet, hmm.
Speaker 2:Do you? Doesn't it say in the letter?
Speaker 5:It does, but I'm not giving away my hand yet.
Speaker 2:So roll for deception.
Speaker 5:Okay, let's face it. He's going to pay us all 10 gold, because a four is not going to get me anywhere. Look, payment for each of us is 10 gold. I need a third person, though.
Speaker 3:Can I be eavesdropping and hear the 10 gold and perk up?
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 4:Did you say 10 gold? Hello there.
Speaker 5:Hello, no, the proper response is General Kenobi. I'm just kidding, hello there.
Speaker 4:So which way are you heading? You're going to get 10 gold.
Speaker 5:Fendelen. Oh, just a little. Mine cart wagon full of illicit drugs and overpowered weapons. No, no, really, it's just. It's just mining supplies. I just like to make it sound more appealing. I think I heard you say you need a third person Me too.
Speaker 4:I'm heading in that direction.
Speaker 5:How convenient. And you're on a. I'm Xamrus.
Speaker 4:Of the Bumblebumbles. You've probably heard of them. Really the Bumblebumbles.
Speaker 2:Yes, and you would have heard of the Bumblebumbles because they are nobility in Neverwinter and because you've spent a lot of time in Neverwinter, you would. You would be familiar with who the Bumblebumbles are. They're very high society. So, again, for a Bumblebumble to be in this tavern is very out of place.
Speaker 5:So aren't you slumming it, little Bumblebumble?
Speaker 4:I mean, don't judge a Bumblebumble by their family.
Speaker 5:That's fair. I certainly wouldn't want to be judged by mine, but yes, okay.
Speaker 4:That's your cow outside.
Speaker 5:What cow?
Speaker 4:That really cute cow looking in the window.
Speaker 5:Okay, since you think it's cute, I'll tell you. Yes, it's my cow. Can I ride it? Hmm, that's really not my. I would seek permission from the cow personally.
Speaker 1:Okay, what you can say I don't think the cow would be opposed to it.
Speaker 5:Calliastras the destroyer. Cool cow name yes, moo, anyway, um, um and, as I say, calli's name. All of a sudden you hear a thud against the glass, full on, and you can see. Um, I would say to the DM perception check to see if they can see her tail poking through the back of the costume or if her face is just filling the window, depending on how big the window is.
Speaker 2:It's not a very large window, but I would say at this point that, um, the lock is undone, and so at this point Calli's enthusiasm has pushed the window open, and the large snout of Calli is poking between Dow's horns, and so Dow's horns are kind of on either side of this snout of Calli.
Speaker 5:It's just very excited at this point, I take Dow's shepherd pie and I push Calli's snout out the window again. It's okay, I'll give you mine when it comes, sorry.
Speaker 6:I have no words.
Speaker 2:I know it is.
Speaker 5:I tell you I'm 17, is my uh. I do animal handling.
Speaker 2:That'd be animal handling sure.
Speaker 5:Okay, 17 plus four, so Okay 21. Yes, Um to convince her to. Yeah, she loves shepherd's pie.
Speaker 2:Calli is very excited about the shepherd's pie and goes to devour it and completely ignores what anything else you have to say.
Speaker 5:Fantastic Um sorry about that, dow Um, cows are hungry. What can I say?
Speaker 4:Uh-huh, strange looking cow I've ever seen. Still cute, though.
Speaker 5:Thank you, I mean. I mean I poke my head out the window. Now go play in traffic and hide.
Speaker 2:So the, the half orc bartender, seeing, seeing you talking with the, with these two others, the half orc bartender comes over and has already given you, already gave you the letter. So the bartender kind of knows what's what's going on and Is his name Jackie?
Speaker 3:Is he from Tucson, arizona? Well, I was going to ask, this is the last name, daytona.
Speaker 6:Did you give a?
Speaker 5:toothpick. I was going to ask if the bartender, knowing that I come in here all the time, actually knows Calli, and Calli hides in the back alley and he's he's run into her previously.
Speaker 2:The bartender is very familiar with Calli, Absolutely so, so, so, seeing, seeing your, seeing what was going on there with Calli outside and everything, the bartender comes over and says you could, you could never keep control of that that deer, that deer animal.
Speaker 5:Look, I'll get the plate back. It's okay she doesn't eat the plates. They're probably not back.
Speaker 2:That's fine. No, no, no worries she. She means no harm.
Speaker 5:That's because you feed her scraps out the back door. I know you do, I admit nothing. And I thank you for that. Isn't that cannibalism?
Speaker 4:It's cows eating cow.
Speaker 5:She likes sheep, she likes to eat.
Speaker 4:Shepherd's pie is lamb traditionally, oh well, we don't eat that kind of stuff.
Speaker 5:I just, I, just, I just picture. I'm now picturing Calli in a really bad costume, a cow costume, doing an ad for Chick-fil-A.
Speaker 2:So I'm going to go and eat more sheep. So, yeah, so. So the bartender the bartender also, not not knowing your relationship with these two kind of whispers in your ear and tells you where you can find, gives you directions to where you can find the wagon. It'll be ready for you in the morning Fantastic. And when you're, when you're ready to head out with by yourself or with whomever it will be, it will be ready for you.
Speaker 5:Thank you, my old friend, and Calli thanks you too. The Shepherd's pie looks delicious. I'll have to give Dal mine, because yes.
Speaker 2:Of course. So you, you all, you, all three are now together. So I would say you probably, you probably, equium, you will, you will kind of relay the, the instructions to the other two in your time. Tell them, tell them where to meet you in the morning and everybody will go off to where? Where, zanros, where? Where would you? Where, where are you going to rest for the night?
Speaker 3:I think Zanros has a, has a room with family friends. Got it Because she's nobility so right. Anyone would be honored to have her.
Speaker 2:Yes and Dal, it's a little too far for you to trek all the way back into the Neverwinter Wood to back to your home to sleep for the night. So where are you heading? Do you need lodging?
Speaker 6:I think they might go back to their boat. Because didn't we decide that?
Speaker 2:Yes, so you, you sailed down the river to Neverwinter, so you're going to sleep on your boat.
Speaker 6:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Tonight. Got it and Equium. What are? What are your plans for you and Callie for the evening?
Speaker 5:Um, this is the uh, I'll say, this is the day of the week where I, I, I, I, I, I, I. This is the week where I stay at the inn and, uh, I have a card game at night.
Speaker 2:I say okay.
Speaker 5:It's just a friendly card game.
Speaker 2:How much? How are you? Are you wagering money in this card game?
Speaker 5:I probably can't resist, so how much?
Speaker 2:Like you've got 10 gold pieces. Okay, If you go to your inventory in D&D Beyond, see in the in the top left where it says weight carried. If you go all the way over to the right, oh, there it is. Yeah.
Speaker 5:Okay, there it is.
Speaker 2:So how much, how much of your 10 gold are you going to?
Speaker 5:Oh, it's a friendly game, so really.
Speaker 2:Topper pieces Like what are we talking about?
Speaker 5:Silver pieces.
Speaker 2:Silver pieces yeah.
Speaker 5:So I would say probably 20 silver, which is two gold 20 silver yeah. It's 10 silver for a gold right.
Speaker 2:All right, so roll me a D4.
Speaker 5:Okay, otherwise known as a CalTrop, because this would do some serious damage.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, look at that thing.
Speaker 5:Geez Three.
Speaker 2:Okay, good, so roll me a D20. 16. So are there any any modifiers.
Speaker 5:One of mine Nope.
Speaker 2:Nope. So so you earned yourself an extra 16 silver pieces from from gambling Nice that night. Nice, yes, well done, thank you you, you played, you played very well.
Speaker 5:I got to have a good game every once in a while.
Speaker 2:I mean you, you can barely lift the cards, but yeah, I can't win too much.
Speaker 5:I won't be able to carry it home. That's right All right.
Speaker 2:So it's the next morning Again. All you wake up from, from your various locations. Iquium had given Dow and Zanrose the directions of where to meet. So now you, you have all met in the morning. You, you see the wagon. There are a couple of oxen, who are two oxen, that are pulling the, the wagon of supplies. Now where? So you've got Kali, iquium, dow and Zanrose, so are you going to ride on the wagon when? Where is everybody's positions now that you are together and about to head out on this trip?
Speaker 3:I think I have to be on the wagon. I am three foot five and 29 pounds. I am not a fast mover.
Speaker 2:Got it, so you're going to. Are you going to be upfront? Sure, like navigating maybe, yeah, okay, so you'll be. You'll be the navigator. Iquium, I assume you're going to pilot this Yep, gidia, okay. Um roll roll me a D six D six. Five, you die of dysentery.
Speaker 6:This is the Oregon trail.
Speaker 5:Yes, there's a very good one.
Speaker 6:We had to play that for an assignment in third grade and if we died we failed.
Speaker 2:Did you really? Oh my God, it was rough. That's amazing. I bought. I bought Catherine. She has a little, a little electronic game of it's of the Oregon trail.
Speaker 5:Nice, yeah, I love that game, I've seen I've seen t-shirts and said you've died of dysentery.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, absolutely.
Speaker 5:It's like the and it's the 8-bit graphic kind of. Yeah it's amazing. Love it Love it All right.
Speaker 2:So you're going, you're going to drive the drive the wagon. Zanros, you are. You are sitting next to Equium Shotgun, shotgun Dall. You're going to sit on the back of the wagon. You're going to walk, you're going to hang out with Callie. What are you? What are you doing?
Speaker 6:Um, is it like a closed wagon like this, or like open?
Speaker 2:Let's say it's a closed and enclosed wagon.
Speaker 6:They can sit on the back. I don't think they might Like. Depending on how tall it is in the back plus the supplies, they might be able to sit on a ledge on the back.
Speaker 2:You're going to sit on a ledge on the back watching. You've got the six of this, uh, this crew. Okay, I got it.
Speaker 5:While we're in the town um, callie and I are going to make it look like she's a cow still.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 5:And, um, she's got a. She's got a rope. Actually, she's holding the rope in her teeth.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 5:And it's tied to the wagon.
Speaker 2:Got it, excellent. So Callie, callie's following behind, being led behind on this, on this adventure, excellent, all right. So, so, as you can see, on the table in front of you is the map of, of the of this area of the Sword Coast. So you are, you are up in Neverwinter. What do you? And before I forget, dall, what, what have you done with your boat?
Speaker 6:I kind of docked it in a little hidden way cove I have, because this isn't the first time she's had to do this.
Speaker 2:Got it. Okay, I just want to make sure that we've we've done something with your, your boat, and it doesn't get lost.
Speaker 6:Yeah, I think, I think we're good.
Speaker 2:Excellent, all right. So remember, you all are going to make your way down the high road heading south, and eventually you're going to veer east along the tri-bore trail. You had no trouble so far, so this is yes.
Speaker 5:So once we're sufficiently outside of Neverwinter, I stop the wagon, I get off and I take off Kali's costume and what you both see is a big black dire wolf, and I give her a hand signal. She All of a sudden you see this thing attack me, but not attack me.
Speaker 2:Right, so it's her trick.
Speaker 5:I'm just showing her her tricks.
Speaker 2:So what are your reactions to this? Because initially it looks like Kali is attacking Equium. So what do you two do to this? Do you realize what's your reaction?
Speaker 3:Xanrous is going to do a couple of backflips away because they don't want to get caught up in jaws and teeth Very tiny, do not want to get eaten by a dire wolf.
Speaker 6:Like a meatball.
Speaker 2:So let's do an acrobatics.
Speaker 5:Kali just thinks hmmm or derves.
Speaker 4:Oh, no, ten Ten.
Speaker 2:Okay, so you make one of the backflips, so you backflip one away, so you are again Kali's at the back of the wagon anyway. So you've backfliped over. You're kind of now kind of by the oxen in the front, but you're sufficiently away. Dall, what are you? What's your reaction? Because you're kind of looking right at this.
Speaker 6:In my shock I pull out my spear and like get it ready, just in case.
Speaker 2:Okay, you jump off the wagon and you're staying on the wagon.
Speaker 6:I stand up, you stand up.
Speaker 2:So you like, jump off and stand, stand your ground. Okay, and so what's happening?
Speaker 5:Equium, so it's about a 10 foot rope off the back of the wagon. So I literally peel it back, just kind of take it off. But that gets her excited. So that's why she does this, because she loves her blanket, her costume. But when I take it off she wants to play. So that's our little shtick, is that? You know, I get her to quote unquote attack me Just to see, and I'm just doing it just to see what their reactions are. But it's also to play with her, because we've had to, like, be undercover in the city. So what you see is that she hounces on me and but you can't really tell because she's, she's pretty good actress.
Speaker 5:You can't really tell that she's, she hasn't hurt me, she's knocked me over, but she's like standing over and she's she's making all sorts of sounds and I'm like wrestling with the costumes, costumes a little torn, because she wants to tug on it and I have no strength to fight her.
Speaker 5:Right, yeah, she just knocks you clear down she knocks me down and then I have the costume and then she drags me around a little bit and then you, then you can see that she lets it go. She gets down on the ground and this big dire wolf tail is wagging and and then she cut, then I throw, I have a little ball for her, or whatever. I throw the ball and she runs and gets the ball comes back and you see her just sniff me, and she just and it's like she could lift my whole body if she sniffed me, kind of thing and then she, but then she will be curious enough to walk over to Dahl's the closest and she approaches you slowly, kind of looks at you and then you hear this big nose.
Speaker 5:It's right next to your ear and she's sniffing your ear and then she walks away.
Speaker 2:See, I would, I would. I would imagine Callie would sniff those horns because she's curious about the horns. Yeah.
Speaker 5:That's what she's. I'll say what would I roll to see if she licks the horns.
Speaker 2:That's. That's a good question.
Speaker 5:Let's say or we could do it. I know she'll let's do it, let's do an investigation, check Investigation check, okay, five.
Speaker 2:So so. So Callie is is sniffing the horns of Dahl and and gets gets a little too excited because Callie is probably about the same height as as Dahl. So Callie sniffing and sniffing and kind of one of the points of the horns actually pokes Callie in the nose, as as she sniffing because she's so excited and but she just kind of like boom and pokes herself in the nose. So what, what? What's Callie's reaction to getting poked in the nose?
Speaker 5:Um, initially she's very curious. So she backs up immediately kind of looks at you and I'll roll animal handling to see if yeah, 20. Oh good, Like it's okay, she's nice, it's okay, no Licky Licky.
Speaker 6:Dahl's just saying, like what the fuck is happening At what?
Speaker 2:point, she, you're, you're. Well, you're just frozen, frozen in place, because you don't, you have no idea what's going on.
Speaker 6:And how do we act to this? Yes, yes, mildly discussed by the slobber.
Speaker 2:There's a little bit. There's a little bit of drool just coming down the one polished horn of yours.
Speaker 5:I just, I just go. I'm just shaking my head and, like you know, callie, don't be an asshole. Just don't know, licky Licky, at which point she would leave Dahl alone and then go sniff you.
Speaker 3:Ah I basically decided that Zanros is going to like animals more than people, so Okay, zan, she's extremely excited to see a dire wolf Interesting.
Speaker 2:Okay, so. So what do you? So? So Callie's enthusiastically bounding her way toward you. What are you doing?
Speaker 3:I'm excited, so I'm like well, I mean, as much as I can crouch, I'm crouching down and I'm like inviting her in.
Speaker 2:Inviting her in. Yeah, like, oh, who's a girl?
Speaker 4:Who's a girl?
Speaker 2:Have Callie roll an athletics check.
Speaker 5:Okay, now does it go with my athletics check.
Speaker 2:Well, Callie, Callie should have her own stats If you go under extras.
Speaker 5:Oh, okay. Yeah, I rolled 19 plus. That takes a strength, so 22.
Speaker 2:So 22. So Callie is like a giant bowling ball rolling down the lane and there is one lone pin standing there and Callie just barrels her way through Zanrose, just flipping Zanrose into the air, causing you to roll an acrobatics check 25. And you miraculously land right back down on your feet. Callie has passed you, like has overshot you. So now you're like no, no, come back, come back. So Callie comes now back to you and you're standing there and just gives you one giant lick from like toe to head, just like licks you right up, and is so excited to see you. She's a good girl, such a good girl.
Speaker 4:I love you too.
Speaker 5:And knowing that she doesn't always like rarely like people that know her get that reaction right, can get that, that playfulness. I'm like you know you're supposed to be a fearsome beast, right. That's not very intimidating Making friends with everybody. Maybe you'd like to run for mayor or something, because I'm just like you're supposed to be my protection, like you're not being convincing, not at all. Yeah.
Speaker 3:And the whole time I'm just reaching up and like scratching whatever I can reach, because she's way, way bigger than I am.
Speaker 5:And like, oh, she's such a good girl. I would say she definitely rolled down. Pause in the air, belly rub. Belly rubs Give me a belly rub.
Speaker 2:All right.
Speaker 5:What do you do when a seven foot tall dire wolf wants a belly rub? Let the wookiee win, exactly.
Speaker 4:Exactly, much better than a cow.
Speaker 2:That's right, all right so. So you've all kind of gotten to know each other. You've, you had your fun with, with Cali, everybody, the costumes off, you're, you're ready to head back down. So you've turned down onto the, onto the tri-board trail, and you, you get to this area and you've been on the tri-board trail for about half a day. You're nearing that side road that that's heading south, down down to Fandelen. As you come around a bend you stumble upon the scene of a recent battle. The woods press close to the trail, with steep embankments and dense thickets on either side. Two horses are wandering the road, sniffing at ransacked personal effects. What would you like to do?
Speaker 5:Well, I'm going to stop the wagon.
Speaker 2:Yes, good idea.
Speaker 5:They're oxen drawing our wagon right.
Speaker 2:Correct.
Speaker 5:I want to. I want to send Cali out just in a small radius to have her investigate, basically do her sniff investigation.
Speaker 2:All right, so so if Cali is going to invest his a role in investigation, check for for Cali. She's not very clever.
Speaker 5:I just saw her intelligence no wonder she's hanging out with me.
Speaker 2:Only wonder if you could be the smart one.
Speaker 5:She sees the bronze out of the brain. That's right, so I rolled a 14, but I have a month, she has a minus four, so that's a 10. Second thought we might not have her investigate.
Speaker 3:She's pretty so.
Speaker 5:I will say on unsuccessful searches and stuff like that, I'll just go, you're pretty, you're pretty, it's OK, it's OK All right.
Speaker 2:So so Cali kind of just sniffs around a little bit, doesn't, doesn't really pick up anything initially in in their investigation. So so what next?
Speaker 5:So would she? Here's the thing. Would it be investigation or would it be perception only because of her sense of smell?
Speaker 2:Right now. I think it would be investigation, because I mean, because you're investigating the scene, so you can, you can do a perception check to see if if Cali's aware of anything in the in the area. Ok.
Speaker 5:She's pretty. That would be. That would be a two plus one, three of three. Yes.
Speaker 2:Cali senses nothing, senses no danger. Everything, everything seems fine. Nothing to nothing to see here, just two horses hanging out.
Speaker 5:I would say, I would say because she doesn't smell anything. I would say she's just generally. Maybe it's because she's distracted. And. I'll say she goes up and sniffs down again. Just deep, deep in here.
Speaker 6:Like I thought we were over this.
Speaker 2:Cali just rubs her nose against one of your horns as she sniffs.
Speaker 6:That was not a big fan of dogs.
Speaker 2:And that you're going to have to get used to it. Cali's got his pregnant me around for a while, all right, so so what are the rest of you doing?
Speaker 5:now, Although she might sense your resistance to it, but she's. She's just like hey want to like me, want to like me.
Speaker 2:Exactly so you are. You are having none of that, dallas. What would you like to do in this, in this situation?
Speaker 6:Trying to like push her away a little right boundaries yes. Personal bubble.
Speaker 2:So what are you doing? So you? So there's clearly, clearly there's been a battle here, so what would you like to? Is there anything you want to do? Do you want to investigate? I want to investigate. What do you want to investigate?
Speaker 6:I want to see what the horses were like you said they were like sniffing around something.
Speaker 2:Well, the horses just hanging out there. So, so what? You see, the site itself is littered with arrows. You see all sorts of torn scraps of fabric, odds and ends, just kind of discarded all over the place. You can see that the when you, when you get up to the horses, do an investigation check for me.
Speaker 6:Four.
Speaker 2:Four. Yeah, so you just you just notice there's there's a couple of saddlebags on the horses and and that's about it. However, when you get up to the horses, only perception check 1717. You hear some rustling in the thickets on both sides of where these horses are on the trail, and out from the thickets jump for goblins. Well, well, well. What do we have here? What do you do? You're the closest to them, so what's your reaction? I?
Speaker 6:don't think she really knows what to say right now. She's just like kind of getting ready for something to happen.
Speaker 2:Uh-huh, do you say anything to the goblins? Or?
Speaker 6:What are you doing here?
Speaker 2:What are?
Speaker 6:we doing here.
Speaker 2:What are you doing here?
Speaker 6:Just passing by.
Speaker 2:Are you? What have you got in that wagon?
Speaker 6:Nothing of importance.
Speaker 2:Oh, Iwith three of you here and that wolf. Something must be pretty important in there.
Speaker 3:At this point, zanros is going to, you know draw herself up to her full 3'5". She looks at them and she says On behalf of the bimblebombles.
Speaker 4:I'd ask you to take your leave.
Speaker 2:Binglebangle.
Speaker 3:Never heard of them, don't play stupid Now, she's just mad.
Speaker 2:That's all we know how to do.
Speaker 3:She draws her quarter staff out. She's little. She's always got to be making sure she's protected. She doesn't know these other two people she's with.
Speaker 2:Roll for intimidation.
Speaker 3:Oh, okay, yeah, All 3'5 of my intimidation Got a minus one.
Speaker 6:How long have we been traveling together in total Days? What do you say?
Speaker 3:Zero. On intimidation, I rolled a one and I have a negative one for intimidation.
Speaker 2:Those are your goblins.
Speaker 5:There's three or four of them there.
Speaker 2:There are four goblins in total.
Speaker 3:That was a zero.
Speaker 2:That was a zero.
Speaker 3:A zero.
Speaker 2:They just laugh at you. Let's see what you're going to do with that thing.
Speaker 4:Got to be your funeral.
Speaker 5:In the meantime, while they're doing that, I've signaled to Callie to circle around the back of the goblins, if that's possible.
Speaker 2:Let's see, hang on, I'm going to put out a map for you guys. It's going to be a little difficult for Callie to get behind them, because those tickets are really difficult.
Speaker 5:Right.
Speaker 2:Without them noticing. It's going to be tough for Callie Callie, can, I mean. It'll be difficult terrain so it'd be half speed to get around to the back of them In those tickets. But they will take that as an act of aggression if they see but there's no way for Callie to stealthily get around that. You want to do a step, you want to do a one.
Speaker 5:No, actually, I'll do it a little different. I forgot about the tickets. So, um, At this point I'm probably off the wagon because I let her.
Speaker 2:You're definitely off the wagon.
Speaker 5:I can't Um. So I would say I'm just gonna. You know what? I'm going to try to persuade them to let us go through. Let's go, friend, I'm just delivering supplies. It's a bunch of flour. Do you do a lot of baking? I'm curious. I'm just asking for a friend, because not for anything, you know Well. And I make a signal to Callie and she howls Like she sits down and she just bays like I'm like now.
Speaker 5:My friend is concerned. Um, I don't want her to be concerned, so just let us pass, unless you're, unless you, you know, unless you need supplies for a bake-off. Yeah, it's not what you want, and she's calling the rest of her pack.
Speaker 2:So do you want to roll for persuasion or intimidation? You want this to be an. Are you trying to intimidate them or just persuade them to let you pass?
Speaker 5:Plus two either way. So I would say let's go with persuasion. I won't do the intimidation yet, Alright.
Speaker 3:Iquam is clearly not familiar with the great goblin baking show 18 plus 220.
Speaker 2:You're very persuasive.
Speaker 5:I'm a man of the people, you know.
Speaker 2:And they say so. So there's one that's clearly, clearly in charge. He goes, we'll let you pass, but the wagon stays.
Speaker 5:No, that's not going to work for me. Are you giving me horses in the oxen? Because this stuff? Is heavy. And look, I haven't been to the gym and I haven't been so um, you know, I'm just going to say I need the wagon. I'm not the strongest guy in the group, you know. I'm going to tell you that right up front. But um, yeah, that doesn't work for me.
Speaker 2:So. So where is, where is Callie? They? Can they see Callie? Or is Callie behind the wagon, like obscured by the wagon.
Speaker 5:Oh, she was behind the wagon so they might have heard the howl, but she they wouldn't necessarily have seen her if it's covered wagon.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's covered. Wagon.
Speaker 5:If it's covered wagon, then they wouldn't have. They wouldn't have seen her. She'd be behind the wagon.
Speaker 2:Alright, they're like so the so the goblins are, are I and the three of you up? They're like little one weakling Purple thing. I think the four of us could take you and and two of them draw their bows and the other two draw their swords.
Speaker 5:I would say what's her movement.
Speaker 4:Oh her movement's 50.
Speaker 5:How much 50. Five zero, five zero. Yeah, so she's. Even if she's behind, she could literally probably what jumping is half. You can jump to half your distance.
Speaker 2:I think that's what it is.
Speaker 5:I will say she jumps in front of us.
Speaker 2:She won't. I don't know if there's room, because there's the wagon behind you. Yeah, okay, so she's gonna jump right there, okay. So, if you, if you're gonna pull that kind of maneuver, yeah, we're gonna roll for initiative, Okay.
Speaker 5:I'm not giving them a wagon.
Speaker 6:Oh my God, a nat one, are you sure?
Speaker 2:Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, so I have a two.
Speaker 5:But now, because they don't see her, does she get surprise?
Speaker 3:Yes, I have a 24.
Speaker 2:Yeah, cause she will get. She will get a first, first attack on her on her own.
Speaker 5:Now, am I rolling her initiative, or am I rolling my initiative and her initiative?
Speaker 2:No, you both share an initiative. Or uh, hang on, hang on, I gotta. Oh, you're gonna love this. Oh, my God. What is that, James? I'm suffering from your, your DM issue. What the Are you? You gotta be kidding me.
Speaker 5:See, now you can feel my pain.
Speaker 2:Okay, I rolled four initiatives for four goblins Two ones and two twos.
Speaker 5:Oh, you're having one of my twos.
Speaker 2:What is happening?
Speaker 5:All right. So For those of you listening classically, in one of my games, if I roll, I roll badly against my players. That's how they've been able to progress so far, but if I roll for them, I roll in that 20s. It's really kind of cruel.
Speaker 2:So what is your initiative, James?
Speaker 5:Equium it's I'm plus one, so it's 15.
Speaker 2:Equium and Kali is 15. 24. 24. Sanra's Dall. What is yours? Two, two. What is your? What's your dexterity?
Speaker 6:Yes, that's at the top right. It's a 12 plus one 12 plus one.
Speaker 2:Okay, so Dall is a two. So they're going to go before you. Okay, so Kali gets a surprise attack, having just jumped and oh, hang on, let me just Hang on one second. Okay, okay. So James, equium Kali. There are four goblins. Goblin one, two, three and four Figure. They're On the map there. They're from Kind of toward James. It'll be one, two, three, four. So Kali's like in front of one and two. So which one?
Speaker 5:Start off with one.
Speaker 2:Start off with one, okay.
Speaker 5:And let's say her attack Okay, 17,. She gets plus five to hit, so that's 22 to hit 22 to hit.
Speaker 2:We'll definitely hit the first goblin.
Speaker 5:And Five. Three is eight, Three is 11 points of piercing damage. Is it a? So if the target is a creature, it must succeed on a DC 13 Strength saving throw or be knocked prone.
Speaker 2:That is not going to matter.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Speaker 2:So what does? What does Callie do to this goblin? Because this goblin will be dead.
Speaker 5:Um, I would say I would say, basically she pounces on him or goes to pounce on him, but with Because she's bit him, grabs him in her teeth and shakes him and then drops him in from a goblin too. Kim Yikes. I've seen my dog tear apart a brand new stuffed animal inside of four minutes, so it's kind of what a bitch I can only imagine. Hey, let's play tug of war and run this small creature to pieces. That's the gratitude, like yeah.
Speaker 2:Alright, so you have completely. Callie has just shaken goblin one to death and yes, can she roll intimidation now for the others? Yes, she can roll intimidation to see what happens.
Speaker 5:Twelve. Twelve.
Speaker 2:So they're all going to take one big step back. So they're a little intimidated, but they're not running away yet. Okay, they all take one big step back. Is that all of Callie's attacks?
Speaker 5:I'm trying to see if she has. I just scrolled down and saw the picture of her.
Speaker 3:Of course, a fearsome beast. A fearsome beast I've never seen one.
Speaker 5:She's so cute.
Speaker 2:Alright, so that's Callie's move. It doesn't say I think Callie only gets one attack.
Speaker 5:I think she only gets one attack.
Speaker 2:I think it's like a level one Direwolf, if I recall correctly. Alright, so that brings us up to oh yeah, first level, large beast. Yeah, the Bumblebumble, bumblebam, bumblebam.
Speaker 3:Okay, so I'm going to have Zenrose take one big step forward of round Callie.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:Because she's going to use her dart and that's got a 20 foot range.
Speaker 5:Technically you could probably stand her in Callie.
Speaker 3:Yes, just get on, Callie's back.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:Can I take a flying leap onto Callie's back?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that could be your movement, okay.
Speaker 3:So I'm on Callie's back.
Speaker 2:Well, hang on. Acrobatics check yes.
Speaker 3:Alright, nat, 20 plus 6, 26. Damn.
Speaker 2:You, you, not, not. What you do is you jump, land on the horse, bounce off the horse and get yourself up on top of Callie, because you can't, you can't make that jump on on on top of Callie just by itself, right. So you bounce onto the horse and then Bumblebounce onto the onto Callie.
Speaker 3:And and when. When I bounce onto Callie, I go Alright. So I'm going to attack with my dart.
Speaker 2:Which one are you attacking? Goblin 2?
Speaker 3:I'll go with the second Goblin.
Speaker 2:Second, the second Goblin, yeah, second suitor, Exactly.
Speaker 3:Oh, that is a a 12.
Speaker 2:A 12 will not hit you will. So you throw your dart at Goblin number two and and because you, you were, you were jumping all around and and Callie's moving from shaking the had literally just shooken.
Speaker 3:Yes, shooketh.
Speaker 2:Just shooketh, Shooketh the Goblin to death. So so Callie's still moving. So you try to throw your dart, but you completely miss Goblin Number two. Goblin number two Is that? That's your move.
Speaker 3:Yeah, my only bonus is an unarmed strike, but that's at five feet and I'm not moving up that much.
Speaker 2:Got it. That takes us to Iquium, Iquium. What would you like to do? Um. I Love this music.
Speaker 5:Let's see yeah, I gotta do it, Eldritch, blast.
Speaker 2:Which one are you going after?
Speaker 5:Which one?
Speaker 2:So Goblin, goblin, goblin, one is dead.
Speaker 5:Goblin one is a chew toy. Okay.
Speaker 2:Uh, zanroth just tried to throw a dart at Goblin two. Okay, and then there's Goblin three and Goblin four.
Speaker 5:Uh, let's go for Goblin three, because Goblin two will probably be Callie's next target.
Speaker 2:So Got it 16 to hit. 16 does does connect.
Speaker 5:Okay, one, ten, ten. Make sure that looks like a big ten. Okay, two points of damage.
Speaker 2:And what type of damage is that?
Speaker 5:A beam of crackling energy streaks towards a creature it is, it doesn't say oh, force damage, force damage, oh.
Speaker 2:All right. So you, so your, your, your blast kind of hits, hits the Goblin kind of like right in the right in the shoulder, like right in his chest, right in like right by the shoulder, and just kind of just zaps him a little bit. But he's, he's, he's still pretty doing okay, but he's, he's, he's definitely hurt now, um, but but he's not not dead yet. Nice shot.
Speaker 5:Not dead yet.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 5:I'm happy, I feel like dancing. Oh sorry, the multi python kicked Down to happen.
Speaker 2:So now Goblin three, the one that you just hit, now you pissed him off. Now he's mad at you. He is going to take his short bow and and try to hit you. He's going to. He's going to draw his bow and and try to get you Does. Let's see what's his pull. Okay, does a 12 hit?
Speaker 5:12 is my armor class, so yes, oh, just just makes it.
Speaker 2:He's, it's been nice playing, all right, so he's, he's. He's shaken by by the death of his compatriot, but but has enough wherewithal to draw his bow and and shoot at you, and he is going to do four points of piercing damage to you. Congratulations. What do you want?
Speaker 5:A loss of third of my hit points.
Speaker 2:All right. So Goblin number three has successfully shot Iquium with a with an arrow. Goblin four, let's see, because Goblin four is going to do the same, not to you, but Goblin four is going to see what he can do to let me see. I will, I will roll to see who he's going after. One, two, three.
Speaker 5:I just want you to know. The moment one of these creatures goes after my dog, I'm going to go John Wick on their ass. I'm just saying.
Speaker 2:Well, you're, you're in luck, because Because Goblin number four is going after Callie with with the short bow again.
Speaker 6:Dare they.
Speaker 2:Draws Just a little guy. Draws his bow back, does a 19 hit.
Speaker 5:Yes, yes.
Speaker 2:A 19 does hit and that is going to do six points of piercing damage. So so Goblin I mean Callie is not hard to miss. So the Goblin draws back, shoots that arrow right at right again, right into the side of right, into the broad side of Callie. And I need, I need Zan Rose to do a dexterity saving throw 19 plus. Oh, because you're on top of Callie.
Speaker 6:Yep, that was.
Speaker 3:Goblin, so 23.
Speaker 2:23. Okay, so, yes, so Callie. Callie jumps and reacts to to being hit. You do a nice back flip off of off of Callie and you land right on top of one of the horses. Okay, so you're now. You're standing on the horse right next to right next to Callie, but Callie kind of jumped in and threw you off so you're no longer on on top of Callie. So that was Goblin four. So now we're up to Dow Dow. What are you going to do?
Speaker 6:So Goblin three has been hit and he's just shot Callie, correct?
Speaker 2:No, we'll go. Goblin three shot Iquium, because Iquium is the one that hit him with Eldridge Blast. Goblin four shot Callie.
Speaker 6:Okay, so Goblin three has been hit.
Speaker 2:Goblin three has been hit.
Speaker 6:I'm going to do Toll of the Dead.
Speaker 2:So what does Toll of the Dead? Do Tell us.
Speaker 6:You're going to do this to me? Yes, so you point at one creature you can see within range and the sound of a delorious bell fills the air around it for a moment. And they must succeed on a wisdom saving throw or take one d eight necrotic damage, but if it's missing any of their hit points, it instead takes a one d 12.
Speaker 2:Ooh, All right, Well, I've got to do a wisdom wisdom, save, wisdom, save.
Speaker 6:This is Goblin three right.
Speaker 2:Yes, Okay, got a minus one on my wisdom, nice, so All right.
Speaker 3:Goblins are notorious dummies.
Speaker 6:Praying on your downfall right now, oh God.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, it'll be. That'll be a five.
Speaker 6:Okay, so that does hit.
Speaker 2:Okay, so let me so. That's one d 12 now.
Speaker 6:Yeah, I always forget which one's the 12.
Speaker 3:It's the one that looks kind of like a 20. Yeah.
Speaker 2:You want to roll your specialty 12 that you gave me I think I have to. I think so. I think that's important 12.
Speaker 6:Because I made it. It loves me.
Speaker 2:How would you like to kill this goblin?
Speaker 6:Um well, so I like, so I have to point at it, right.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 6:You really put me on the spot. Here I am.
Speaker 2:How would you? How would you, how, how do you imagine? Well, because it's necrotic damage, so it's just going to. I think I what, what could happen is you? It hears this Sound and just kind of like, starts vibrating and just from the inside out it just starts just melting away. So there's just all the all the flesh just melts yes, I like that, and it's just a goblin skeleton.
Speaker 3:A very Indiana Jones.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, goblin skeleton and just crumbles into a, into a pile. So there is a pile of fresh bones for Callie.
Speaker 5:Hmm, Very dinty. I was just about to say us very dangerous, you go first.
Speaker 2:So now we are back to the top of the order, which is Zanros. Okay, remember, you're standing on the horse, so goblin two is kind of right in front of you and there's goblin four. Goblin two hasn't been able, hasn't done anything. Oh no, goblin one's. Goblin two still has to go. I'm sorry, cause that's after, after dow, so goblin two gets to go now. So, now that you've just jumped on the horse, let's see if it's, let's see who the goblin is going to go after. It's going to go after you, come at me. So goblin two is going to pull out its pronounced scimitar.
Speaker 5:You don't? You mean to not call us, get matter, it's not a call us get matter.
Speaker 2:Well, it shucks, I know so.
Speaker 5:I have to tell Uncle Bubba that.
Speaker 3:And now you no longer have any listeners from the south.
Speaker 5:That's right. I represent that remark.
Speaker 2:All right. So goblin two comes at you with the scimitar. I don't think that's going to be a hit, because that's going to be a six to hit, nope. So again, got goblin short as well. So he tries to jump up and and swipe at you with the sword, but completely, completely and utterly misses. Now it's your turn. Would you like to come back at that goblin or go after the other one?
Speaker 3:No, I'm going to go after goblin number four, because he went for my best friend forever, callie. Got it. Okay, so I'm going to do the dart attack again.
Speaker 2:Okay, so that is a 14. Again, you throw a dart at this goblin and you it just misses him, so just whizzed by his ear but did not, did not connect, unfortunately. Now we've now we've got Iquium and Callie, whoever, whichever one you want to go first, goblin four is the one that just hit Callie with the arrow and goblin two is the other one that just went after.
Speaker 5:But it's right, it's right there. Yeah, I would say she'd have to go after goblin two. Okay, but I yell. It doesn't matter whether I yell before or after she attacks, but I'm like really, really a guy's dog. You go after a guy's dog and then Callie attacks, natural 20. Oh Ouch, so 25 to hit.
Speaker 2:Just just hits, Just hits. Just hits it's fantastic, fantastic.
Speaker 5:I'm here, I'm going to use that one. So that is seven points of piercing. No, is that a five or two? That's two. So two, four, yeah, seven points of piercing damage and they have to do a strength save if they're not already dead.
Speaker 2:Strength save. What do I have to beat?
Speaker 5:DC 13.
Speaker 2:So they're not dead, so they are not prone. But what is what does Callie do to? Due to this one, they've got their limp. They're barely hanging on for dear life at this point. So so what does that look like?
Speaker 5:So they are or not, mark, they're not prone.
Speaker 2:They are prone, they are. They failed, they failed.
Speaker 5:I would say Because she has her movement. I would say, instead of just knocking him prone, I would say she picks him up in her mouth and drops him in front of goblin four.
Speaker 2:Oh, I'd say probably one of those canines really Pierced through, like pierced through his gut, and he's just, he's just bleeding out, not doing well, flat on the just, flat on the ground, just holding, holding on trying to stop himself, stop the blood flow.
Speaker 5:Yes, I just realized something I've rolled in that 20. I double damage. I didn't double the damage. You didn't double the damage I didn't.
Speaker 2:So he's dead, so he did 14. Yeah, he very, very dead.
Speaker 5:Okay, but she still picks him up and drops him in front of goblin four.
Speaker 2:Got it. Yeah, so goblin four seeing this now, now watching three of his friends will say, seeing three of three of his his party, all just easily killed to two by tally the destroyer. You see that that pathway that runs north on the map there's a pathway that runs north. So this, this goblin high tails it up that path and runs away from all of you.
Speaker 5:So does Kelly get an attack of opportunity, since he's running away out of battle? No, what's his movement speed 30 feet. Callie's is 50. She runs him down and attacks him again. All right, unless you don't want her to go for it. I'm like willing to go for the narrative. It's okay.
Speaker 2:I'm just saying are you sure you want to kill all these guys?
Speaker 5:I yell fetch, okay. And she goes to scoop him up. Okay, she won't kill him, she won't attack him, but I'll have to roll to attack to grapple him.
Speaker 2:All right, um sure you want to grab, go ahead 21. Okay, so yeah, you've. So Cali Kind of reaches down and just pick some, picks him up in her, in her mouth. All that's hanging out are the feet. At this point there's I yell, fetch. She goes yeah, there's just, there's just feet hanging out of her mouth, swinging away, and she comes jumping back over to you and just kind of doesn't, doesn't want to initially let go of the goblin.
Speaker 5:I don't want him to. I don't want her to let go of the goblin yet.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 5:I yelled to the goblin inside. He's just like help, help. Do you want to be lunch or do you want to tell me what I want to know?
Speaker 2:I'll tell you anything you want to know. Just let me down.
Speaker 5:So you're going to answer all my questions or I'm just going to send Cali after you again. You can try to run, but the minute you do she gets to use you as a snack or a chew toy Her choice.
Speaker 2:I am not running anywhere.
Speaker 5:So do I let you out of Cali's mouth or please, please, let me down. I look at Cali, I better nose and I go leave it.
Speaker 2:Cali just kind of goes, doesn't want to let it go, and just kind of like shakes, shakes her mouth a little, so the feet are just flopping around. I said, help, let me down.
Speaker 5:I think you need to apologize to her first, because you shot her.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry. I thought you were going to eat me.
Speaker 5:Please just let me down, help me, I'll roll animal handling and see if I can get her to Okay, I think 23.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, so kind of guys reluctantly just reluctantly. Absolutely open, opens her mouth and just just a drool, soaked goblin falls, falls at your feet and he's just, he's just on his knees.
Speaker 5:Please, please, don't kill me. I tell Cali paw, and she pushes him down onto the ground with her paw and just rests her big paw right on him.
Speaker 2:Okay, so yeah. The goblin's just just thankful that you didn't kill him, and I'll tell you anything you want.
Speaker 5:So why did you think it was a good idea to attack us? You shot my dog.
Speaker 2:That's what we've been told to do. We've been. We've been here for days just scavenging and taking people's things from this trail.
Speaker 5:Who told you to do that?
Speaker 2:Clark. Clark did Clark.
Speaker 5:Clark. He calls himself Clark Clark.
Speaker 2:Clark, it's worth it.
Speaker 4:Griswold, you serious Clark. That's worse than Taserface.
Speaker 5:Clark. Okay, we'll go with Clark. Yeah, who and what is a Clark?
Speaker 2:Clark is very mean Clark. Clark is a bugbear A bugbear yes, Okay.
Speaker 5:So how many other goblins are there? How many other people does Clark have working for him? And why is Clark oppressing you? By the way, you could have had a nice little goblin union and kind of. You know I had rights as a goblin. Instead, you know you're highwaymen and you're picking us off. That's not nice.
Speaker 2:We just, we just report to Clark. Clark reports to King Grawl. Oh, who's King.
Speaker 5:Grawl.
Speaker 2:Well, that's his last name. His first name is Dave.
Speaker 5:Watch right into that. Hey, I just absolutely I roll the Nat one on being able to see what was coming like. My perception was a Nat one on that one. So our gives Griswold and and and Dave girl.
Speaker 2:Okay, clark Griswold, king King, Dave Grawl.
Speaker 5:King Dave girl. Wow, you know you got it. Look, I hate to throw monkey wrench into your plans, but I wish I you don't want to be a monkey wrench. Just want to want a song like that's the only, so King Grawl is today, okay so so basically we've got. How many more goblins are there? Where? Where you're from.
Speaker 2:Well, out here, there, there are a few, there's, there's a few of us, probably 1015 10 or 15.
Speaker 5:Where's the next group of you? What do you mean? Well, I want to know where they're hiding.
Speaker 1:They're, they're up there, up in the up in the up in the caves.
Speaker 2:Yes. Hmm, hmm.
Speaker 5:I can't believe you shot my dog. I'm really kind of stuck on that. My inclination is to is to let her use you as a chew toy, just like she did your friends.
Speaker 2:No, no, please, please.
Speaker 5:I tried to be nice. I tried to be nice, just tried to talk to you and go about my business and you shot my dog. People asking me if I'm back. I'm thinking, yeah, I'm back. Sorry, I had to give you John Wick.
Speaker 2:If I, if I lead you to the cave, will you let me live? Hmm, you don't have any.
Speaker 5:Do you have any incendiary devices, anything that would make a big boom, smoke bombs, anything like that, hmm, okay. Okay, mr Goblin, what's your name? And if you say Boblin, I'm killing you. Now I'm willing to let you live Clancy.
Speaker 2:Do either of the other two of you want to ask any questions? Or by all means please, please, chime in. What do you do?
Speaker 6:Have to start a fire.
Speaker 2:What do you, what do you want to know from this, from this last surviving goblin? Oh, I think we have all the fun. Why'd you shoot the dog?
Speaker 4:Yes, I'm not okay with this. I was just trying to save myself. You didn't have to fight us.
Speaker 2:You came at me, the dog came at us first, because you wouldn't let us pass without, with the wagon. I would have to, I would have to, I would have to I would have to, I would have to, I would have to. I would have to fight you in my good, I would have to.
Speaker 6:I would have to fight you in my good. You knew with the wagon.
Speaker 4:I was going to let you live. It's kind of on you. Why'd you shoot?
Speaker 6:the dog. I don't feel like you're telling the truth. Self defense.
Speaker 5:Oh my god, this guy sucks. Can we just let Kelly eat him now? Chad, chad, chad. You make really bad decisions, richard. So Well, calling him Richard is gives the opportunity or future joke of go get a bag of yourself Like I don't know. That's what comes to mind.
Speaker 6:Any variation of Richard is a joke. In our other campaign.
Speaker 5:Oh, really oh that's fantastic.
Speaker 4:Should we take this guy with us and then just throw him at things when we get mad.
Speaker 2:Oh, I like that. So so roll, Roll a perception check, because you're standing. You're still standing on the horse 11. 11. 11. So you're noticing, you notice these horses and you you see something in one of the One of the saddlebags that's on the horses and and you pull it out. Hey guys, look at this. Something in the saddlebag. And so you open up. You open up this. So in the in the saddlebag you find a journal and you notice the name on the journal Is Gundren Rockseeker.
Speaker 4:Hey isn't this your friend?
Speaker 5:Chad. Yes, kyle, whatever the hell your name is, you shot my dog Number one. Um, what happened with party that was with these horses? Cause I really need to know that Measure your answer very carefully.
Speaker 2:Give me some intimidation.
Speaker 5:Can I have advantage because Cali stepping on it?
Speaker 2:Yes, absolutely Fantastic.
Speaker 5:And it's intimidating enough.
Speaker 2:And, and he says those two, they're in the cave, they're in the cave.
Speaker 5:Okay, that's all the information he will. His friend comes in.
Speaker 2:He's not going to be. That's all the information he will.
Speaker 4:His friend Gundren's in the cave. What the hell is wrong with you, guys? You shot the dog.
Speaker 2:Freaks. So you'll find out that Clark Griswold. Clark Griswold Received a message from King Dave Graw that someone known as the spider Is paying them to kidnap, and I don't know if they're in and anyone with him. So King girl wants Gundren.
Speaker 5:But does King girl have?
Speaker 4:Or he wants.
Speaker 2:Is Gundren in the cave or did I get that wrong? Gundren's in the cave, guys. Yes, the goblin.
Speaker 4:The goblins took Gundren and his companion To the caves and the goblins took him to the cave.
Speaker 5:Do you want to rescue your friend, or what? No, I totally want to go to the cave, but he shot my dog, so I'm a little kind of stuck on the whole shooting my dog thing Understandable.
Speaker 4:I love Cali as much, if not more, than you, so I get it.
Speaker 5:But maybe we should rescue your friend Because Gundren loves Cali, and if you Do, the goblins want to work for Clark. Because here's my question If I let you live and if we go to the cave, what say is the chance of you persuading your other goblin friends to work with us instead of Clark Griswold? Because really he's going to shove you into a big wagon and drive you across the country and make you go somewhere. You don't want to go Something with a moose. I'm not sure, but either, the matter is going to really over. Decorate your cave with lights, I like lights.
Speaker 2:How many lights? Lots of lights Interesting.
Speaker 5:We'll help you decorate. I'm a great decorator.
Speaker 6:What's in it for us?
Speaker 2:A beautiful cave.
Speaker 5:The abeyance to proper Feng Shui. This dog doesn't eat you and the dog doesn't eat you and you don't die. There's the kicker. The dog doesn't kill you. Use you as a chew tie and all your friends are chewed tie. There's a lot of other goblins up there that combine they're not going to kill you.
Speaker 2:There's a lot of other goblins up there that combine. They could probably take on that dog.
Speaker 6:Those are fighting words. Calm yourself.
Speaker 2:What's in it for us?
Speaker 4:We're fed.
Speaker 2:We're clothed.
Speaker 6:But are you happy?
Speaker 2:Are you really happy?
Speaker 6:Are you truly happy? Chad Goblin, which is your full name.
Speaker 2:I'm tired of being called names. It's so exhausting.
Speaker 6:You'd have freedom, you'd be happy.
Speaker 2:Nobody wants to. Nobody asks me how I'm feeling Chad.
Speaker 6:How are you feeling, Chad? How are you feeling?
Speaker 2:I'm really quite depressed. I'm. This is a very difficult life. We're living a cave, we're living on scraps. It's very difficult.
Speaker 4:Let me tell you something, chad my life's goal is to open a B&B where every creature will be welcomed, including stupid goblins like you. So would you like something like that?
Speaker 3:And if so, how much would you be?
Speaker 4:willing to pay per night.
Speaker 5:I'm thinking from a gnome to a goblin. There's some racial undertones there, but I'm not exactly sure.
Speaker 2:Do you, do you need people to work at your B&B?
Speaker 4:In fact. I do Hold on. I've got an application in my bag.
Speaker 2:Roll roll for persuasion.
Speaker 3:Twenty.
Speaker 2:You successfully convince Chad, or whatever this goblin's name may be to to help you, and he will also help convince the other goblins to help you. If they can be persuaded, he will. He will do his best to persuade them, but if, if there is promise of employment at the B&B for the goblins, you're going to keep pretending you don't know who the B&B are.
Speaker 4:Seriously never heard of them before. What the hell is wrong with you guys.
Speaker 2:Listen, we live in a cave. What do you expect? They do live in a cave. We basically live under a rock.
Speaker 6:You live in a rock.
Speaker 4:You live in a rock. I'm sorry, is that a slate? No, I'm just saying Because I'm a rock gnome. You got a problem with me.
Speaker 2:No, we love rocks OK.
Speaker 4:I'm just saying, while I'm striking out on my own to open this B&B, I do have my family's money to fall back on if I need to. So you will have employment if you stop being an ass.
Speaker 2:You got yourself a deal Excellent.
Speaker 4:We'll sign the paperwork when we get there.
Speaker 5:Mind. I suggest, for the legal paperwork you consults, andrew Andy Wartotal, attorney at large, just throwing that out there.
Speaker 2:So you've successfully convinced this goblin to help you. He is afraid for his life, but it's not a good life. So with the promise of a new life and legitimate, fair work and fair wages and a place to sleep, he is happy to help you out and lead you to the cave. Try to convince the other goblins as well to help. He will do his best to see how many he can convince. Some may be convinced, some may not be convinced, but he will certainly do as much persuasion as he can to help you out. So at this point, yes, I want to ask that.
Speaker 5:So, chad, who's your biggest rival among the goblins? Do you have one? Is there somebody that you don't like among your goblin friends?
Speaker 2:They're all right. I mean, there's always disagreements, but we usually get along for the most part, so anybody really just don't like it all.
Speaker 5:Yes, yes, there is Janice. Janice the goblin. Okay, tell you what. Just as a kicker of the deal, I know you're willing to do this, just as a sweetener. If you need Janice eaten, we can come to terms. I'm just saying Kelly needs a chew toy now and then.
Speaker 2:I mean.
Speaker 5:That is why should anybody get in your way now? Now, like you know, you've apologized. You did shoot my dog, true, true, you got me there. But We'll take me a little convincing Working with count. But Instead of your head on the chopping block, maybe it could be Janice I, if you so choose. I'm just saying that you don't have to commit to that. I'm just saying if it's a sweetener, great. If not, no harm, no foul.
Speaker 2:Roll for persuasion.
Speaker 5:Five.
Speaker 2:Listen, I mean, it's not like she's a bad goblin, she's just. She's just irritating. I'll think about it, but I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I mean, I'm willing to convince them to help you, but To kill one of them.
Speaker 5:Well, we could prank Janice. I mean, what do you think Janice's reaction would be if she woke up to the nose of a dire wolf in her face? I mean, I'm just saying there are so many possibilities, indeed, okay, no shooting dogs, kyle.
Speaker 2:Chad. Sorry, chad Kyle, I'm all the same, so I've got many names.
Speaker 6:What's the name you want? What do you want to be called?
Speaker 2:Vincent.
Speaker 6:Vincent, you shall be Excellent, vincent van goblin.
Speaker 2:Vincent van goblin. I like that.
Speaker 6:Vincent van goblin.
Speaker 2:Goch Blin Got to say it right.
Speaker 6:My friend's name is Vincent. At least we didn't kill him.
Speaker 2:All right, so you've successfully convinced this goblin to help you out. I think we're going to call it there for today, before we get into the caves, because that's going to take some time to explore and go through. There's a lot of rooms in the cave, so join us next month as our adventurers continue Bandelver and below the Shattered Obelisk.
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