Everything You Need to Know About Senior Moves: Downsizing + Planning Tips for Parents and Family

In Episode 26, Elizabeth Strauss, a seasoned professional organizer and senior downsizing specialist, shares invaluable insights into the process of senior downsizing and transitioning to a new living arrangement. The conversation covers crucial considerations for families, the significance of safety, and the transformative benefits of moving to senior communities. Elizabeth emphasizes the importance of early and open conversations, advocating for the well-being of seniors, and making downsizing a positive experience. Her passion for helping seniors live fulfilling lives shines through, making this episode a must-listen for anyone navigating the challenges of senior transitions.

🌟 Tips for Downsizing:

• Prioritize Safety: Consider modifications like removing carpets or hiring companion care for additional support; if that’s not enough, consider a senior relocation.
• Explore Senior Locators: Consult with senior locators to identify suitable living options based on care needs and budget. Investigate potential benefits, such as VA benefits, to support the financial aspect of the transition. A great place to start is a Senior Placement Advisor like Sherri!
• Visit Senior Communities: Don't let outdated perceptions cloud your judgment: Many senior communities are like modern-day cruise ships!
• Start Early: Acknowledge the emotional attachment to belongings and find ways to ease the process, such as hosting downsizing parties or gifting items with love and intention.
• Set a Timeline: Engage in consultations with professional services early to explore options and plan effectively. Determine a timeline for the downsizing process, considering factors like waitlists for senior communities. 
• Consider a Prepack Declutter: If time allows, opt for services like prepack declutter to gradually reduce items that won't be part of the move.
• Photograph Sentimental Items: For emotionally significant items, take photographs from various angles and write notes about their importance. 

🤝 Contact Elizabeth Strauss, Co-Owner and Founder at All Organized

Phone: Call or Text 281-460-6534
Website: https://www.allorganizedpro.com/ 

🤝 Contact Sherri:

No one should navigate life's transitions alone. Let Sherri be your guide through probate, senior transitions, and beyond. Connect with Sherri today.

📍 Website: https://WillowWoodSolutions.com 

📞 Contact: (832) 640-2997 

Connect with Sherri Lund and learn more about probate real estate, downsizing, and caregiver support on

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sherri-lund-willowwoodsolutions/
• Facebook (Share your recommendation!): https://www.facebook.com/WillowWoodSolutions
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/willowwoodsolutions/
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV2fpT6kTz67ufkmMK5Z7zg/

Disclosure: The information shared on The Probate Podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. We strongly recommend consulting with a professional for advice specific to your situation. If you need help finding a professional, feel free to reach out to us at www.willowwoodsolutions.com/contact.

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Transcript

0:21

Hi there, welcome to the Probate Podcast I'm so glad you're here. My name is Sherri Lund and I am the host. I'm also the founder of Willow Wood Solutions. It's another company that I started. I help families that are downsizing, trying to make decisions for their loved ones on care and making probate smoother. I'm not an attorney. I do things that attorneys don't do. So I meet people in the mess. I help them figure out property problems. And then I help them deal with all this stuff. Today, my guest is Elizabeth Strauss and she's the founding and co owner of the founding member of all organized and the co owner of that company. We're going to be talking about downsizing seniors and all that's entailed in that for the family as well as the person who's making the move. You're going to want to grab your favorite beverage and pen and paper because we're going to be talking about tips and suggestions that you're going to want to refer back to later. Again, thanks so much for being here. Elizabeth, thanks for taking time out of your day to join me here. I am so excited to chat with you and share your resources with the people that are going to be listening. Thanks for being here. Thank you so much for having me today, ms. Sherri. Let me tell you a little bit about Elizabeth. You're going to want, you're going to want to know Elizabeth. She's going to be your best friend. Elizabeth Strauss is the co owner and founding member of All Organized. It's a company that specializes in helping seniors go through downsizing process with ease. Elizabeth began her quest to help people in the third grade, and that passion for being organized has never faded. She graduated in 2009 from Sam Houston State University with a bachelors of science degree, and she's constantly learning and growing both in the business realm as well as an entrepreneur. Elizabeth is a national parks enthusiast. So, when she isn't helping seniors downsize, she enjoys hiking and exploring different parks for their husband, Troy and their daughter Delta. She loves every dog ever and she's also a fan of llamas and possums. Elizabeth is the life of every party, but she especially shines on a wedding reception dance floor. So welcome my friend Elizabeth. You guys are going to have fun listening to our conversation, but you're also going to walk away with some really helpful information. Elizabeth again, so glad you're here and you took some time out of your busy schedule to join me. Well, thank you so much for having me on this wonderful podcast today. Yeah, you know, I started I never wanted to have a podcast. I don't know if I told you that, but don't really like to be on video all of the things, but I'm here to help people that are up at 2 in the morning, trying to figure out what the heck am I supposed to do? And why didn't somebody tell me about this? And why isn't there a book? And I don't have time to read a book anyway. So that's why I am here with you to help that person at 2 in the morning before we get into our topic though. If you and I met, say, on a trail at a national park somewhere and I said, Elizabeth, tell me about you not counting work. Who who are you Elizabeth? What would you say? That's such a great question. I am a very proud mom to an almost 3 and a half year old little girl named Delta Pearl. She is so much fun when I'm not working. I'm spending as much time as I can with her. I do love a good national park. Some of my favorites have been aisle rail all the way up in Michigan. I also really love the Redwoods out in California. And I also love to crochet. I make baby blankets for my friends. I'm working on a big one right now for an Alzheimer's donation this year. The truth is it was supposed to be a last year project, but so many of my friends had babies. I had baby blankets to give to them. And I just, I, I love my dog. I love to help people find great resources to rescue dogs. And I am passionate about efficiency in my life. And so I really do love it outside of having this business. I have always loved organizing and really focusing on minimalism and just how. Our possessions don't define us and how having exactly what we need really helps grease that wheel and helps it move forward easily. Love that. Love that. So tell us a little bit about this experience in the 3rd grade. I'm so curious. I had a friend and I won't say her name, but she had many things and her room was not always tidy and so I would go over and clean up her room and pick up the closet and I thought we were having the best time. And when I met her later in life and told her, I had started an organizing business. She said, well, that makes sense because you would always come over and clean up my room and you were just playing. She said, you were the only 1 having fun. Oh, I just always felt like picking up and making a space tidy was just fun for everyone and same thing. My parents had some friends out in California and they had like, like a playhouse outside and I went outside and I tidied up the whole playhouse and again, they reminded me later in life. They're like, you were the only one having a great time. So you just like your place all nice and neat and tidy. I just love things where they go. Yeah. And so have you, what was the process to getting all organized started? So exactly like how you had no plans and no intentions to start a podcast., I never in a million years thought I would be a business owner. I was working in the corporate world as a corporate accountant, and I'm really lucky that I got a really terrible boss. At the time, it didn't feel so lucky, but I'm so lucky because she is what pushed me out of those golden handcuffs and out of kind of the corporate nest. And at first, I went around to every organizing business I could find on the internet. And I said, I'm a great organizer. I'm a really hard worker. When can I start? And all of them told me the same thing, like, well, we don't hire other people. You just have to go out and start your own business. And to me, that was crazy. How am I going to start a business? Like, where do you even begin with that? And through just many rejections, I started an organizing company. I went to my CPA who set up an LLC for me, and he thankfully pushed me in the right direction and said, do you have a business banker? I said, no, I don't. He introduced me to a fantastic business banker who introduced me to the small business development center with lone star college, who introduced me to networking groups that really helped me get my feet under because hanging up flyers at Starbucks was just not the way to go. And things really grew from there. And when I went to talk to the business coach for the 1st time ever, I said. I'm going to organize for 40 hours a week at 60 an hour, and I'm going to make $100,000 a year. And I am so grateful that that business coach metaphorically took my hand and said, there, there. That's a terrible idea. Let me not make a big mistake. And I'm so glad he did because as an operation of 1, I would have never have gotten off the ground. I would have never have had the right people in place to allow this business to be the size and the way that it is. And so that's a very long story, but that's how I got started in unintentionally owning a business. Yeah. So now you can just look around and I mean, it's the beginning of the year, you know, when we're recording and you just kind of pinch yourself and think I can't believe I went from that this. Right? And now you've got crews.- We're in the Houston area- you have crews literally all around the area, right? Yeah, from a solopreneur to now we're a team of about 30 with an actual moving division, which is it's very interesting to me. I would have never known the business started March of 2017. so almost 7 years ago now and never 7 years ago, would I imagine that it would be where it is now. Well, yeah, and half of that was a pandemic. Like, that should have an impact on on someone's growth in their business, too, especially what you're doing with seniors. So how did you go for you're not just organizing pantries and think like a typical organizer might come in and you think about organizing closets and pantries and such. But you've really specialized in the senior industry. How did that evolve? Was that part of your plan too? Or was that.. That's such a good question. In the beginning, my goal was to organize the entire state of Texas. I wanted to of course, it was Beaumont everywhere in between and just organize every house and restore function. And again, in the beginning, it was just me and the company. Fun fact was actually called be organized like a little Bumblebee. The biggest setbacks in my life often lead to the greatest change. And so I was about 3 months into business and Harvey hit and I lost my entire book of business for what we now call traditional organizing. Like, you said, those closets, pantries, garages, and it was devastating. I went from having a lot to do to finding a lot of volunteer work. Thankfully, my dad sent me an article from the Wall Street Journal about senior move management, and I sent it to my business, my, my future business partner. And I said, hey, what do you think about adding these senior specific services? Because this has the sustainability, that we seem to be lacking with just the traditional organizing. And seniors just happened to be our favorite, favorite clients that we took on in our favorite age demographic to work with. And she said, yeah, let's try a couple senior moves. So we quietly just tried a couple senior moves where we help someone make that big transition from their home into a senior community. And we did everything for them, we made the decisions on what they were going to take. We packed the boxes. We arranged the movers. We unpacked everything once we got to the new space. And it turns out that was that was just it for us. That is what we loved to do so much. And from there we will still we love to take on a traditional organizing project. We love pantries, closets, garages. But our heart, our passion, our love and 95 percent of our business is that senior move where we are helping the senior and their family walk through the entire downsizing process with just so much efficiency and so much empathy, because without those 2 things together, it's not a successful move. Correct. And we were talking earlier about a situation where we're helping a family and it just feels like they're being carried because it's such a big emotional thing. It's emotional for the person who's needing to make the move. They they're leaving a place where so many memories have been made, you know, tears. Angry words and restitution and, you know, all of those things that take place around a kitchen table and so many memories and then to willingly put yourself in that position as an outsider, but also as a supporter. It's just such a speak so much about your heart, elizabeth. I love how you really want to care for those people and the elderly people, but also their family members and help them through this trying time. Who is your typical client? Would you say? A typical client is a senior couple or a, a unfortunately, a widowed senior that is needing or wanting to make that move from their home into community. A want based move is somebody that used to have strong social connections, used to have lots of people coming over, but now the house is getting quiet and many of their friends have moved on no matter what that looks like. And so it's really nice when we can help them get plugged into a community that has a great lifestyle that fits what they're wanting out of their, you know, what we call the golden years. And then there is the need based move where sometimes it's been a stroke, a fall, a heart attack, a cognitive issue, and it's just not safe to remain in that home anymore, no matter how much we love it and how many memories we've had in it. And so we help that person or that person and their family make that move into either assisted living or memory care. And what are some of the challenges that you notice families are facing? For sure. Sometimes it's the biggest one is people just feel overwhelmed when you don't do this type of work day in and day out. You don't know how many towels, how many sheets, how many pots and pans, if any, how many dishes do I need to take? You have more questions than answers. You oftentimes also have more questions than resources. So like, Oh my gosh, today I need to go out and get bubble wrap boxes. I haven't booked the mover. I haven't gone in and and pre cleaned mom's new place. There's just so many things that you are trying to juggle where this is every day for us. This is assembly line. We're checking groceries down the register and we're putting in the P. L. U. we know exactly what we need to do. How much you need to take. We're creating that floor plan. So so many times, the number 1 thing that hinders hurts or stops people is just that overwhelmed feeling. Really big challenge that I feel like people face when it is time to do a move like this is they are valuing their things or their living quarter their home over necessary care and life prolonging living situations. And so I totally get how important our things are and our space is, but not 1 thing in this world and not 1 house should Trump a safe living environment, and that's sometimes where it gets really, really hard. Well, I'm not going to move without my 35 piece pot and pan set, but also I haven't cooked in 25 years. That's when we step in. And I think the benefit, another challenge is when people work with their family, there are sometimes there's a lot of friction. 1 time we were packing up this really sweet lady and she had, like, about 13 boxes of really dusty old jelly jars and I simply said. Hey, Mrs. Smith, are we moving these 13 boxes of dusty jelly jars? And she said, oh, no, honey, you just throw those in the trash. And the daughter in law is over in the corner, glaring just daggers at me and I pulled her aside later. I said, I am so sorry. Were you interested in those boxes of dusty jelly jars, and she said, no, I have been trying to get my mom to get rid of those for the last 7 moves, and simple question, but we fought over it every single time. And so just being that neutral 3rd party, like you said. Working with a heart of just love and joy and willingness. My words aren't loaded, my words don't have friction. There's no history there. There's no history. I'm just wondering, are we going to put in 2 boxes of precious Christmas ornaments and Christmas decorations? Are we moving 13 old boxes of canning jars? And again, you haven't canned in 25 years. So sometimes 2 family has the very best of intentions. It family has the very best in their heart, but those words are loaded. They don't have the resources. They don't have the skills. Sometimes family can cause a slowdown where, you know, I tease that that you can do your own senior move in the same way that you can perform your own appendectomy, but letting a professional handle it is going to be a lot less painful from doing your own appendectomy. Although I don't recommend it. No, that's quite the visual there. Sorry for the 2 am listeners. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's that's that's you know, what. When you're it's the wake up call, isn't it? Like, even though I can look at those 13 jars that I've moved 7 times and think, well, of course, I'm going to take them with me. I've invested in this far. You know, of course, I'm going to see it through, but to have somebody that is outside that it's almost like cold water in the face. And you can see it with humor that they're not going to mistake as some underhanded sarcasm or something like that. You know, like, how much do you really need those? And it's like, oh, yeah, I can be honest with you because you've just disarmed me. You just named the elephant in the room here. And so you give them permission to let go of that that thing. I love that and only outsiders can do something like that. You know. Well, and we really try to approach every senior move in every senior downsize truly. And this isn't just an approach. This isn't a tactic. We are truly on your team on your side. You either need to make this move, or you want to make this move. We want to make this happen for you. We want to do this where you can live comfortably in this space. So we're on the same team. We're not saying, oh, just get rid of that. We'll take a moment and acknowledge why. It's hard to let go of. Yes. I love that and it is yeah, you don't rush your people and you although you do want to be efficient. And so you've told me some stories where they're kind of dragging their feet and you've needed to come in and help them move along. But, but that's done in love too. And even though you're encouraging that forward movement, that's also what they want and you're just making it more real for them, giving them an opportunity for that. Let's talk about how to plan financially for what your services are and the actual downsizing. And I think maybe before we get into that topic. You mentioned floor plans a while ago in 1 of your answers. Describe what your services are. It's not just coming in and packing things up, but you've mentioned several things here. Let's just encapsulate that into 1. A little blurb here and talk about that. Absolutely. So we're a full service turnkey downsizing company. So what that looks like is we're going to come in. We're going to measure every piece of furniture and then we're going to go into your new space and measure every wall window note, outlets, lights, which is cable outlets and we're going to set up a custom floor plan so that you have a visual aid and you can see where your furniture is going to fit. But we're also going to note spaces, like, in between a couch and a coffee table so that, you know, that there's not only room for those items that there's room for you because so many people can move in all of their items. But then they forget that there's not space for them. So we'll do a custom floor plan. Then we come in and we do a high level pack up. Oh, I do want to take one back step. I apologize. When we're measuring the furniture, that's when we're also doing your consultations. And that's twofold. We need to put eyes on the project to see how full are the cupboards? How full is the attic? How full is the garage? What are we really looking at? What are we moving? But also it gives us a chance to give you a fair estimate of price because every project is extremely different. And a good example is in one week, I've gone from clearing out a hoarding 1 bedroom, 1 bathroom off the 3rd floor in Katy to unpacking a CEO's closet of a tech company here in the woodlands. And so every project is different. So every project has a different price. Once we send over that quote, you get to take a look, you get to kick the tires. We offer a high level pack up, and that's where we're packing the right things, not all of the things. So that's where we're having those high level conversations and we're not just packing the items. We're making decisions on what are we going to do with the items that aren't moving? Is it going to family, consignment, donation? Unfortunately, again, in some hoarding situations, are we backing up a 40 cubic yard dumpster? Once we have all of the items packed, we're going to be able to move you into your new space with our movers. And then we will do what we call a complete new home setup, where we're hanging up art, putting sheets on the bed, toilet paper in the bathroom, plugging in your coffee maker, making sure your favorite coffee cup is right up front. So it's the first one you grab your next morning at home. And then once we have you all situated in your new space, if we need to, we'll go and do a house clear at the end. So that means we can either get the house staged in accordance with your realtor, or we can get the whole house cleared out if it's sold, or if the realtor advises that we need to do a house clear. And then we just hand you the keys and you're good to go. We really like to think of it as a 1 stop shop. Yeah. So how can a family kind of figure out how to budget for this ahead of time? For sure. That's that's such a good question. And again, every move is different, but average senior move. I really hate to throw out a price, but it's about 6, 000 dollars. And how you budget for that is up to you, but typically, if there is equity left in the home, that's usually enough to reimburse the person that has paid for the move or to pay yourself back after you've paid for the move. Right, sure. What are some things that families might want to consider, like, do they need to clean out the hoarder house before you guys come in? Like, give us an idea of what some things they might need to think about. Some really good considerations for, you know, when you're thinking about a downsize is number one, your parents safety. Are they safe in this home? Are they starting to have lots of trips and falls? Is that something that can be eliminated by removing carpets and rugs or no matter how many carpets and rugs you remove, it's not going to be a safe situation. Right. Is this something where they could stay in their home a little bit longer if you had companion care come in? Are you aware of what companion care is? They're a non medical service and team that can come in and cook meals, take your parents to doctor's appointments. But again, even with that service, is that a safe environment for your parents to be in? If you're overwhelmed at where to start looking for places to take mom and dad, a great service to look for is a senior locator. They're going to sit down with you and address what level of care do your parents need? Look at your budget. How much do they have to live in a place like this for how long? What are some other options? Can they get you some VA or other benefits? There's a lot to consider when you are looking at staying in a home versus moving into a community, but also what I would really encourage people to do is just go to a community. They have come so far from even when I was a young child and I had a grandfather in a nursing home. There are still some skilled nursing, which is more of a respite rehab place where you're, you're too well for the hospital, but you're too unwell to go home. Those do have a little bit of a nursing home feel, but they're very short stay, but go and look at some communities right now. Go and look at an independent living community and assisted living community, a memory care community. Because essentially nowadays they are like cruise ships on land. They are amazing. They have so many age appropriate engaging activities. Usually the seniors there are so warm and welcoming to new residents. But just don't let the unknown hold you back You know, the phrase goes like the, the hell you know is sometimes more comfortable than the heaven that could be. I'm absolutely butchering that phrase, but don't let the unknown or what, you know, of senior care from 30-40 years ago to stop you in your tracks from helping someone to live in a more appropriate, a more nutritious, a more careful situation. Yeah, yeah. Love that boy. That was loaded right there. That was. So much good stuff. Well, thank you. I'm just, I'm so passionate about seniors being in a community when it is a good fit. Because when they're in a community, they're plugged into other people. They have those strong social bonds and those strong social connections. And that really is the key to happiness and healthier, longer life. And again, I know how wonderful your home is. My home right now is so special because this is where I brought my baby home. I sometimes feel sad when I think about, like, we're not going to live here forever. But also, isn't that the beauty that we get to experience something new and experience a change and experience the good things that come with that change to. And so my passion really is just in helping seniors have a fulfilled life. Yeah, and just imagine to what the adult daughter or the adult son who is just in agony over this decision. And is mom going to be happy? Is dad going to agree to this? You know, when they get in there, imagine the relief that that person feels knowing that they're cared for and if they fall, you know, they're going to be tended to quickly and, yeah. Yeah, in the communities, people have life alerts, they have AIDS coming in to check on them. You're just. You're absolutely right. It's not just a benefit to the senior. It's absolutely a benefit to their adult children. They're not having to run home on their lunch break to make mom and dad lunch and make sure that they're not sitting in a mess and that they haven't wandered off. And you're not saying, like, hey, neighbor, I just have to run to the store really quick. Could you make sure that my mom doesn't walk out the front door? Yes. The relief that comes to everyone when people are. Yeah, yeah, because they're always on high alert and, you know, even if they're at the soccer game practice or at the Christmas party or whatever it is, they're, they're in the back of their mind.

They're always thinking: 25:49

how is that? How is that? And yeah. You know, when, when we visited before several times, you made the comment something around work worth doing. Yeah, work hard at what's worth doing. Okay, talk about because I've heard you say that I bet 3 or 4 times. Can you talk about that a little bit and why that's so important to you? I can. Yeah. When I was in the corporate world, I paid a lot of invoices for things like dimethyl disulfide and poly alpha all offense and normal alpha all offense and every day I felt like I checked myself into a gray prison cubicle for 9 hours a day. And feeling the sunlight on my face when I walked out of that job, I just, I was like, I don't know how many more years I have of this in me. It just. It was a job and I knew that when I was ready to leave, I needed to do something that was really going to help other people. Now, I'm sure paying the, the K resin invoices was very helpful to someone. But it just, it felt so singular, and I felt like I was helping a corporation make millions and millions of dollars. And I felt like women were really underrepresented in the corporate world. And again, I had no intention of stepping into a leadership position. I really had intention of helping other people. And this work of helping someone get plugged into a community or, like you said, seeing the relief on a daughter's face when we get mom out of a very large home into a manageable apartment where she's going to have someone that's going to check on her and meals are being made and medication is being monitored that is hard work. It's, you know, I'm lifting 30 to 40 pound boxes this summer. I helped on a barn clear out when it was 115 degrees outside. I did not look like how I look and it's hard work. And I was crawling in and out of that 40 cubic yard dumpster. I was working hard at the work worth doing. We were helping this family move on, clear out this house. We were helping the seniors get into the right care environment. My, my work hard at work worth doing for my team means I can pay my team members a livable wage and they can go home to their families and do things. And that's the hard work that's worth doing. Yeah. So Good. Well, thank you. How do family dynamics play into this when you there's it's such an emotional time and some people don't want mom and dad. They don't want to give up the house. They don't want to sell the house to pay for care or whatever. I mean, maybe they do, but they don't, you know, it's just. Emotions are freaky and they're convoluted and messy and they don't bring out the best in us. And so you put yourself in the middle and I do too. We meet people at the worst of times to help them get to a better place and we really shine at that. And so talk about some of the things that you see, and maybe some suggestions that if there are some strains in some relationships, some of the things that you might have noticed and how people have been able to get through that, or how maybe you've helped them get through that. For sure. Well, personally, in number one, I would remind everybody right here, right now, it's not about you. And I know that sometimes that's really hard to hear, but if you don't like that couch and they want to move that couch into their new place, that's okay. Cause that couch isn't about you. That couch is where it's comfortable for them to sit. That couch is where they sat and chatted with their spouse, but it's, it's not about you. Same thing with whether you want them to live in the home or not, is that really about you? Or is it the safe choice for them? Well, I don't want to sell the house. Well, if you love that house so much, I would suggest maybe you make an offer on it when it goes on the market or don't put it on the market and give that person a fair offer for it and you move in if you love the house so much, but you can't live in 2 homes. You can't have I mean, I guess you can. I was going to say you can't have 2 dining room sets, but I know that's also not true. You absolutely can. But keep in mind that this journey really isn't about you. This journey is about your loved 1. It's about them. Moving with things that make them feel comfortable into a space that feels comfortable to them. My other piece of advice is, you know, as much as you can, because again, words can be so loaded with family, but, but try and check yourself and your ego at the door. You're going to have to make compromises at the end of the day, as long as that senior is safe and living somewhere safe. And getting the medical attention that is appropriate for them, you've done something good, whether you like that, they're doing it in their gray sweatpants or their super fancy church suit with a hat it's your job to help them live a comfortable life. For sure, yeah, and I would add to that the idea of, you know, siblings that might have disagreements about the way things are happening also to get on the same team, find a way to get on the same team or the same goal of helping mom or dad or both get to where they need to go to get the care that they need. So as a senior transition specialist, I help people unlock the equity in the house to pay for services like yours and to be able to fund care in memory facilities or assisted living communities. And they've worked hard for that property , you know, maybe they wanted to give that to you at some point, but now they need it. I just am so excited that families have. That opportunity, and then the siblings aren't having to figure out how to come up to fund the care, it's sitting right there and and, yes, you would like to keep the house for whatever reason, but. Also, here's mom and dad, so.. And that that is a big thing and we've where it's 2 siblings and a parent and and all 3 are trying to be the boss or it's 2 siblings and a parent and the 1 sibling and the parent have kind of teamed up over here and the other sibling is trying to undermine everything. We got to a situation where we had to tell an adult sibling, you know, You have now left your mom without a bed, so we're going to go ahead and move a bed back in here for mom. I'm sorry if it's not a bed that you would have chosen, but we cannot leave this person without a bed today. Sometimes we just have to check what we want to make sure that that person is, is receiving the care that they need. And in this situation, I oftentimes remind people. What is the want versus a need? We need to get mom into this community. We need to get mom a bed. You want it to look a certain way. Which 1 is which 1 is going to have it today. Right? And what I'm hearing you say that I've never actually heard you say, but when I'm hearing is that you're an advocate for the 1 who's making the move. Like you're paying attention to what is safe and what is care, what is important. Maybe it's not the aesthetics of the house. Maybe it's not the, the current trend, but it's, it's the size of their rear end. You know, they're, they've got a nice little dent in that couch and who cares if it's olive green or whatever. Yeah, so just saying what is so and reminding people of what's the most important thing being an advocate for the mover. For families that are sensing the need to make that move, having some apprehension, don't even know where to start. Do you have some suggestions for them? Number 1, either start looking at some communities and if that feels too overwhelming, talk with the senior locator. Not knowing is going to be the thing that holds you back and makes this take the longest. So start. Looking at some communities, start talking to a senior locator. Know what your financial power is in this and know. You don't have to have, you don't have to have a plan B and a plan C, but plan A is just start looking at some communities. Now, it doesn't mean while I'm, you know, got to go look at some communities to throw mom and dad in a home next weekend, but start looking at some communities and then start having the conversations like, Hey, mom and dad, most senior communities do not have a formal dining room and a formal sitting room, knowing that And thinking about these pieces that you have, like, this 3 piece city and this 8 seater dining room table with a matching Hutch and credenza.. Is there someone in mind that you would like this furniture to go to specifically? Are you interested in consigning some of these pieces? Is this something that you would like to leave with the home for the new owners to enjoy? That's how I got my dining room table. We bought a house from a senior couple that was doing a downsize and they knew it wasn't going to fit in their new space and they offered us the dining room table and I happily accepted and they didn't have to worry about getting it to adult nieces and nephews. Or putting it in a storage to never be seen again. Another great thing to do is maybe just to start the conversation, hey, you guys may be moving to a senior community in 6 months to a year, are there any areas of the home that have felt overwhelming that you would like me to help start going through with you a crafting room? The garage, and attic definitely don't work in your attic in August. That would be my biggest piece of advice, especially if you're in the greater Houston area. I don't know about Manitoba. And just start having the conversations early and often they, they can be really awkward. I tease that the only person that people want to talk to less than me is a funeral director. No 1 really ever wants to talk about getting rid of 2 3rds of their.. Nobody wants to talk about probate either. So I'm in there somewhere with you. We're, we're, we're, we're, we type for 2nd often. I think just depends on who's coming at them, but. Be gentle in your conversations. These are pieces that they have had their whole life, that they've spent time, money, and effort into keeping and maintaining. The worst thing you could tell somebody is, Oh, just throw that away. It's rusted. Oh, you don't need that. It's just junk. How would you want to be spoken to during this time? What's a kind way to speak to somebody, but have the conversations early and often. And if they shut down in the first couple of conversations, ask. I can see that you're not ready to have this conversation now. When might be a good time for us to have this conversation? Would you be more comfortable working with me? Or would you be more comfortable working with a professional company? I know even for my own parents, I would abstain from being on their job just because there are a lot of big feelings about a lot of, a lot of things. you know, I was my parents and aunts and uncles were, we were all really close and they live through the, through the Great Depression and through World War 2 and all that stuff. And they went from trying to pedal tomatoes when everybody had a garden, you know, nobody needed to buy tomatoes. To being able to have a dining room suit and to be able to have, you know, a turntable and big speakers and the avocado green stuff. It was. It was amazing because they had nothing and to come that far. And so those things are just things, but they're not just things and our emotions we can't really articulate what we're thinking. Sometimes we don't even understand it ourselves. We just are moved and all of that stuff comes up when we're asking them to get rid of stuff. Yes. What would make it easier for them? Do they do they need a list? Just start to start. So they found a place. They found 2 or 3 places of placement agent. I strongly recommend working with them. Then you've got a place in mind, then what then have a consultation with you guys? I would definitely start with setting a timeline for yourself. How can I want to make this move? Am I looking at six weeks? Am I looking at six months? Am I six years? Where do I want to do this? And even if your plan is six years, that's when you really need to start to think about your plan B because right now I'm fit as a fiddle. I may have a brain aneurysm tomorrow. I may have a stroke tomorrow. I may fall and break my hip tomorrow. So your plan a is to live 6 more years in your home, but what's your plan b? Where are you going to go? If 6 years is 6 months work on your plan B, but then set a timeline. Am I 6 weeks out in my 6 months out and then definitely call us and do a consultation because if we're not in a rush to do this, we can offer a great service called a prepack declutter where we're not opening up a single box to put a single item in. We are not making a floor plan, we're just lifting a lot of items that haven't been used in a long time. That wouldn't make the move anyway. And those immediately again to family consignment donation and having that timeline in mind is going to take a lot of pressure off of this move. Definitely give us a call get a consultation. Get an estimate for the job .Sometimes communities, especially the independent living ones are on wait lists. So make sure that you're on a wait list for the apartment or, you know, get in and then plan a secondary move when the apartment that you want comes up. But you know, be proactive and now is a great time to repeat my 1 of my favorite phrases ever, which is it's good to let go. If somebody starts to compliment your placemats, hey, do you want these for your house? Now is a great time to throw yourself a downsizing party where you invite over your friends, your family, your neighbors, and you've tagged all of the things that you're for sure going to take and you throw them a curveball and at the end of dinner, you say, hey, great news. This is my downsizing party and everybody gets to leave with a minimum of 2 items. It's going to really help you clear out the space with love and good intention, and it's going to make it really fun instead of very it can be sometimes and then you know, start conversations early and often if you are the senior downsizing about the items that you would like to gift to people. If it's a giant dining room table, and you're just dead set that this is going to go to your niece in New York, who's living in a 200 square foot apartment. Where is it going to be stored? Who's going to pay for storage? Is she really, really interested in that table or would she be happy with your grandmother's cake plate instead? And really just. People have the hardest time with their emotional or their sentimental objects and items and what I would like you to do with those things. If you know that there's for sure, not going to be room, or it's just not an appropriate thing for you to take is photograph that item. Take a picture of it from every single angle because pictures are basically free these days. And then write a really beautiful note about why that object or that item meant so much to you, the history that you have with it. But then also in that note, write the intention that you want for the new person to have it. So I lost my 13 year old Dalmatian. And for the longest time, I could not get rid of his leash or his dog dish. But every time I would go into my closet and the stairs where I had shoved those items deeply I would get tangled up in the leash or I would kick the bull across the floor. And I thought, you know what? This just isn't the right way to honor this beloved pet of mine. And I'd gotten a new dog and he couldn't dare walk on that leash and he couldn't dare eat out of that bowl. And so my dog was actually born on St Patrick's day. And so on St Patrick's day, I took his bowl to my local vet clinic. And I took his leash to the animal shelter where I'd gotten my new dog, and I had written how much I love that dog, what these objects meant to me, how I love to hear the kibble tingle into the bowl, how I felt so proud to walk this beautiful Dalmatian on this very handsome leash and, I wish the new owners those same love and that same memory and that same relationship with their new pet. And I hope that these items would serve them the way that they had served me with my dog. Now is his collar still hanging right behind me? Absolutely. I will be cremated with me, but it made those items and that letting go so much easier and so much. With so much love. So if you're struggling with the emotional pieces, take lots of pictures, photograph the note, photograph the items, and then let them go with love. Yeah. I love that so much. Is there something that if, if someone is on the fence, this is 1 of my favorite questions. Someone's on the fence and they just don't know there, you know, we've talked around it. What is something just from your heart to them to help the daughter at 2? A. M. you know, just speak from your heart to hers. And what would you say to her? I would say I can see that you're stressed out and overwhelmed because of how much you love this person. Even if right now, you would be willing to trade them for a sack of flour and a baby goat. I can see that you're stressed and you're concerned because of the deep love that you have for this person and ultimately. You're making decisions for them out of love, but this can be really, really hard. So number one, I see you. This is hard. This is difficult, and you're, you're doing something really kind for someone else, even if they're fighting you tooth and nail. And number two, continue to engage with them in love again, even if you would trade them for a sack of flour. And know that they're just not seeing this in the same scope that you are, and they may not be in the same cognitive space that you are. And that can be really hard. But there are people out there, like, you, like, senior locators, like, senior communities. That just want to love you into being and into this new relationship. And I would also highly recommend a lot of communities offer what they call like a respite stay where you can try it out. So you can tell mom, like, Hey, I am not moving you into a community. But for one week, let's try in this temp stay room and you tell me what you like and what you don't like about this and just continue to listen and love them no matter where they are and, and engage and involve as many professionals as you can. There are resources and there are people out there just to help you at this time. Right? Yeah. So it's so fun for me to connect with people like you and others with that mindset and that heart and and to know that we're making such a difference in our community with people when they're feeling fragile and vulnerable and not knowing what to do. That's when they need to find and those resources are out there. So that's what Elizabeth and I want you to hear. The only thing I was going to just add on to the end of that, because that was so beautifully said is sometimes you just don't know what resource you need to be looking for. And ask the resource that you do know, what other resources should I be considering? What don't I know? My favorite question to ask people is what should I have asked you that I didn't or what do you know that I don't so if you're that's and that's why I network and that's why I love that you're doing this podcast because I may not be the right solution. I'm not a senior locator. I'm never going to tell you where to live. I am not in any way, going to do anything with probate, you could not pay me enough money to do that. But ask the resources. What don't I know? What do I need to know? Hey, I'm struggling with this. What's a resource there, but because until you step into this senior living and this senior assistance arena, you don't know all of the resources. Yeah, and of course you don't. Why would you? You've never been here before. You've had all of the other things in life that you've had to figure out and you've done beautifully at those things. So this is just a new door that's open to you and you're stepping into this. I don't know what to do with all this stuff. And that's why Elizabeth and I and others are here to give you a little tour and help help you get to the other side of it. Elizabeth. Is there anything that you feel like is in your heart that we have not talked about, but you don't want to leave this opportunity to speak on this platform without saying it, is there something that comes to mind? Yes, this is how I conclude all of my talks to is that we come into this world with nothing, we leave with nothing. The last people that got buried with their really cool stuff for the Egyptians. And we're digging all of that up now. Even in the afterlife, you don't get to keep it. Our things are just things they don't make us who we are. We don't get to take any of it with us when we go and this gift of either not fighting a downsize or managing as much as your own downsize as you can is the greatest gift that you can leave to the generations and the people behind you. And it's okay. If you're struggling with hoarding and you've passed and you've left a house full of things, but there are resources. You don't have to do this alone. You don't get to take any of it with you. I do think about your family that lived through the Great Depression where. They literally had nothing and they worked their whole life to get those things. But even as they exited from this earth, they really didn't get to take it with us. The only thing that we really, really, really get to leave in this world is that inheritance money. It's not a fancy set of China. It's not beautiful jewelry. It's how you treat people. That is the only thing that you really get to leave with the people that leave before us and the people that will leave after us is how did you make them feel? How did you treat them? How were you as a person? Thank you for that. Yes, how can people get in touch with you? The very best way to get in touch with us is all of the ways you can or text because we know sometimes you are very busy doing other things call or Texas. The number is 2814606534. We have a great website. I say that because I made it myself for too many spelling errors, but it's www.AllOrganizedPro.com like a professional P R O dot com. There's a great way to contact us on the website or allow us to contact you if you so desire. And I believe our email is listed on there, but that is info I N F O at all organized pro dot com. And we would just... It would be our greatest life joy and honor to be able to take some of the overwhelm out of downsizing for you. I love that. Those will also be in the show notes for people that are driving or on the trail somewhere. You can swing back and and get those that contact phone number and email off of the show notes. Elizabeth and I really want our listeners to know today that you matter, that We think about you, obviously, we don't see you in person, but we can imagine you and we can put our skill set to work on things even before we meet you. So that in our conversation your process is smooth and as easy and as efficient as we can possibly imagine it to be. We are creating things for you now, so that when you meet us, it will be easier for you and your family down the road. There are resources that Elizabeth and I have talked about. Like us, we can connect you to others. So please don't sit on your couch at 2 in the morning and feel like you have to do it all by yourself. Reach out to 1 of us and we will happily help you connect you. If you don't use us personally to someone who might be the next perfect step for you. With that, we're going to end this episode today. Thank you so much. Elizabeth for joining me. Thank you. Listeners for joining me and we look forward to next time when we can be together. Take care.