How Blended Families Can Avoid Conflict with Inheritance: Estate Planning Tips

In this episode, estate law attorney Kyle Robbins shares invaluable insights into estate planning and probate, with a focus on blended families. Kyle offers practical tips and strategies to protect your family's future, avoiding problems like accidental disinheriting and property issues. With real-life examples and expert advice, this episode will equip you with the foresight you need to make informed decisions about estate planning with blended family dynamics.

There's something new to learn every week, so make sure you subscribe, hit the like button, and save this video to a playlist. If you need help, hop over to https://willowwoodsolutions.com to contact Sherri Lund.

🌟 Situational FYIs

1) Blended Families FYIs:

-Without a will or estate plan, Texas probate laws can distribute assets in unexpected ways.

-Privacy concerns and unwanted solicitations can arise from public probate records

2) Divorce FYIs:

-In the absence of a clear estate plan, divorcees risk unintended consequences for their assets.

-It's essential to update estate plans after divorce

3) Surviving Spouses FYIs:

-Surviving spouses may face challenges in managing jointly-owned assets in probate.

-Estate planning tools like trusts can ensure surviving spouses are provided for without disinheriting children from previous relationships.

4) Probate Houses FYIs:

-Mortgage and other payments still have to be made, even if there’s a dispute over who gets to keep the house.

Estate planning can help individuals in blended families and surviving spouses proactively protect their assets and reduce conflict in probate. For help, reach out to Kyle and Sherri using the information below:

🤝 Contact Kyle Robbins, Estate Planning Attorney at Robbins Estate Law.

https://robbinsestatelaw.com  

🤝 Contact Sherri:

Sherri invites you to explore her toolbox of resources on the Willow Wood Solutions website and encourages you to reach out to her through the contact form. For direct assistance, call or text Sherri at (832) 640-2997.

📍 Website: https://WillowWoodSolutions.com  

📞 Contact: (832) 640-2997

Connect with Sherri Lund and learn more about probate real estate, downsizing, and caregiver support on

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sherri-lund-willowwoodsolutions/
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Disclosure: The information shared on The Probate Podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. We strongly recommend consulting with a professional for advice specific to your situation. If you need help finding a professional, feel free to reach out to us at www.willowwoodsolutions.com/contact.

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Transcript

0:21

Hi there. Welcome to the podcast. My name is Sherri Lund and my guest today is Kyle Robbins. He's a Texas attorney new to the Houston area, but not new to Texas at all. Kyle and I are going to be talking about probate estate planning, but especially as it relates to blended families and how to avoid the issues that can come up with that unique population. The podcast is here because of Willowwood solutions. That's a company that I formed to help families navigate probate, and then it's expanded to help families with seniors in transition, finding appropriate care and funding for that care. I'm excited to bring Kyle to you today because he has family at the top of his list. And he's incorporated his values into his law practice. So let me tell you a little bit about Kyle. Kyle Robbins is the founder of Robbins estate law, a law firm that specializes in estate planning and probate. He was raised on a farm and Kyle learned the value of hard work and family. And like I said, he incorporates the principles that he gained there in his law practice. He has a top tier law education from the University of Texas, and he has a background in business. So he blends The legal and the practical sides of this issue when he comes to work with families. Kyle's goal is to make estate planning accessible and relatable, ensuring that families are well prepared for the future. In his free time, Kyle enjoys hiking with his family, attending sporting events, and volunteering at Special Olympics events. So Kyle, welcome to the show. Yeah, so much for having me. So if we were chatting at, say, a special events, a special Olympics event, and we hit it off and I said, so tell me about you. What would you say? This is not work related, but, like, you as a person. Oh, gosh. I mean, snapshot, you know, I grew up on a farm, as you said, and uh, actually the sticks of Oklahoma. And then my family moved during high school to Texas and been here ever since. So, I'm from the middle of nowhere, but always enjoyed getting back outside and, you know, out way and into the trees as much as I can. So my wife and I love to go hiking. We just did a long tour of a few mountain ranges over in Europe last summer. So kind of a fun getaway. But for the most part, I spend my days just chasing my kids around. We've got little ones ages 2, 4 and 6, so the vast majority of time and energy goes into that whenever we're not practicing law. So you graduated from college with plans to help your dad on the farm. And then plans shifted, and you were found out you were expecting your 1st baby, how did that tell us how that experience kind of steered you in this direction. My 1st daughter was born the day I graduated from law school, actually. So, it was obviously a transformative experience for me. And so at the end of the day, where I was raised, the values that we have family is extremely important, especially in those smaller tight knit communities. And so, the idea of being able to blend what I do from a professional standpoint with also ensuring that I'm taking care of not only my family but other families was very attractive to me. So, like a win win on my end. And I read on your website that just the feeling of knowing that your family was secure, that the feeling that you had when you drew your state plan up, like, you wanted families to experience that same thing. So.. I think that having done this, you know, several years now I will say estate planning is kind of 1 of those things that people torture themselves over, you know, they don't get it done. And so they think, oh, gosh, I've got to do that. And that feeling just kind of nags them for years. And so, it's always incredibly rewarding whenever we finish someone's estate plan and get them through it. And they go, gosh, that wasn't nearly as difficult as I thought it was going to be. And wow, I feel so much better now that we have that in place, you know, there are much less consequential things to worry about. So it's always nice to be able to do that for folks. Yeah, it's a tough topic, but you don't have to go through it alone. And in working with a professional really makes a difference. So, you hit Texas, you graduated, you took the probate world by storm, you landed in Austin and have rapidly grown along the I 35 corridor, 2020 named, like, 1 of the best let's see, the best probate attorney in expertise in the Austin area, or was that for Texas? A little bit of both a little bit of we, yeah we've grown very rapidly. We're amongst the largest probate firms here in the Austin area now and have clients all across the state though. And so a lot of my clients and colleagues and advisors have really been asking if we would had any interest in expanding the Houston. And so... And really, what did it for us was during the coven years, we were able to practice in different courts throughout the state and we're able to go to court without having the geographic restriction. And so, we started, you know, handling cases down there a few years ago and it worked really well. And it just made sense. So we actually this year opened up our physical office there and have staff full time now. So, yeah. Yeah. So yeah, it's been fun. That's awesome. And that's one of the reasons I'm super excited to have you on the air today. What do you think contributes to your big growth? What makes you stand apart? Yeah. Yeah. So, I think the answer to that is a lot of smaller firms or smaller especially probate firms are not the most organized is the word I'm going to use. They're good, you know, doing legal things, but. Maybe not necessarily as good at communication or setting expectations or managing expenses. And so, when it comes to probate, you know, if you stop and think about it you've just lost a family member, you're going through 1 of the most emotional, difficult times of your life. And then you also have to deal with an attorney that you've never met or spoken with, go in front of a judge, you know, that you also have no, probably never been in front of one before. And so on top of that, the last thing we want to do is add questions of, oh my gosh, how long is this going to take? When am I going to be able to sell the house if I need to, you know, when will I be able to access the finances to pay all these bills that are piling up? By the way, how much is this going to cost? And so we just really obsessively created a process where when you engage with us and begin this journey through probate, you're going to know the answers to all of those things. So I, I hate surprises. So does everyone else, especially when the stakes are this high. So we quote flat fees. So that way, you know exactly how much the expenses are going to be beginning to end. We give a very accurate timeline of the different phases of the case and exactly what we're going to have done by when. Stick to it. And then we're available and we communicate. We give our cell phones to the clients. We give our email addresses to clients. We tell them, you know, we promise we're going to answer your questions within 24 business hours. And so the ability to just give top notch service and get people through it predictably really has set us apart. And so we've experienced really rapid growth just from families that have appreciated that experience with us. Yeah, that's amazing. So, let's shift the conversation a little bit. Thank you for going into all of that. That was really helpful information. So, blended families, I hear about that all the time. Every attorney I talk to, you know, it's like, oh, blended families. Yuck. Not the families themselves, but what they can. The issues that can come up specifically in probate for blended family. What's the number one problem for them, would you say? First let's define a blended family. Usually what we mean when we say that is two spouses that have married that have children from a prior relationship. That's it. So if there are stepchildren, then in the legal industry, we use the term blended family, but essentially the Brady Bunch, right? And so, you know, why does that create complexity or difficulty? Well, in Texas, a lot of people don't realize, but if you don't have anything in place at all, so if you don't have a will, if you don't have an estate plan, and one spouse passes away, And the surviving spouse is left to, you know, deal with the assets. Well, what do we have? We typically have some financial accounts. We have a house usually and a few other things. In Texas, for the most part, Each spouse owns everything 50 50. So let's use the house as the example. Each spouse is on the deed. Both spouses signed for it. Typically, whenever they purchased it. And so each of them owns a 50 50. But a lot of people are surprised to learn that when you have a blended family and one of you passes, half of the house does not go to the surviving spouse. That half of the house goes to that person's children. And so the situation we wind up a lot of times is we have oftentimes an elderly widow or widower who owns half of their house now, and the other half is owned by their stepchildren. And if they haven't talked about it or understand, you know, what needs to happen or have a game plan in place, it gets really tricky, really emotional, very quickly. And so you lead to questions like you know, do I have to pay all of the taxes or the insurance or the mortgage if I don't own all of it anymore, and what happens if I need to sell it to move into assisted living or work with end of life care. And unfortunately, there's not an easy answer to those questions because what happens is we have multiple people that now own property and they all have to agree and work together in order to manage that property. You can imagine, much more complicated than just. The surviving spouse owning everything and being able to do what they need to do. Right? Yes. And I'm imagining, you know, the step children in that case might have families of their own. They might want to start a business or take a vacation or whatever. So they're looking at their half of that estate and thinking, I'd like access to that, please. You know, so there's mixed mixed goals and mixed expectations around that, that house and the bank account and whatever else is involved in that. Absolutely. And from the kids standpoint of view, you know, they a lot of times folks get married later in life. And so, you know, they might be in their fifties and have been around their father for like 50 years and he has a new spouse of 4 or 5 years. And so a lot of times they go, well, you know, of course dad would have wanted it to pass to us, you know, and so, every situation is different. We don't always know. And unfortunately, when we don't have a plan in place, we're just at the mercy of the default rules of Texas. There's absolutely nothing that can be done once somebody passes away without estate plan that says what goes where. or who's in charge, which is an important right? And then if this yes, oh, wow, it just gets so complicated. Doesn't it? So if the surviving spouse also has children and they're thinking about assisted living care memory care, something like that. Yes, it just it can explode. It's like a mushroom cloud. Unfortunately, and when it does it's, it takes a long time to sort it out. It's very expensive. Both sides typically wind up hiring an attorney to try to sort things out. It's needless is what it is, but it's extremely tough to navigate and watch whenever we're in the actual situation. And it just, it just takes one person to disagree on what should happen. That's it. Because everybody needs to sign. So is there a case that you can tell us about as an example? I'll give you an extreme example. So 1 of my clients, she was married for gosh, 20 years, something like that. And she and her husband purchased a house together. She inherited from her father's estate and wound up using several hundreds of thousands of dollars from those proceeds to pay off their mortgage not knowing that when she did that, she was actually creating a gift to her spouse who, lo and behold, had an estranged child, you know, from a prior relationship and they had no Relationship with them whatsoever and her husband unfortunately passed away unexpectedly. They were.. They were liquidating the house. They were even under contract and moving to Costa Rica. They had already signed a contract for a new property to retire there. He winds up passing. And the stepchild essentially said great, you know, I'd like half of the proceeds from that house whenever it sells and she goes now, wait a minute, you know, we paid on this together. Yes, but I spent several hundred thousand dollars to pay off the mortgage and they hired an attorney. They asserted their rights. We litigated for a year and a half. The law was not in our favor and we wound up losing and, you know, that's just what the law was. There's really nothing we could do about it. So, not only did she lose half of the house and the equity that she had built with her spouse over the years, She also lost half her inheritance just because they didn't have a plan in place. And so, it was tough to watch, you know, especially in such a big transitional phase of her life when she was hoping to kind of get away and enjoy her, you know, years somewhere other than here. So, yeah, what an emotional rollercoaster to go from the excitement of Costa Rica and looking ahead to all of this. How sad. Let's get our pens and papers out. This is a time for us to hear some tips and strategies from you on blended families and what they can do to avoid that kind of pain and discomfort. I mean, hands down having an estate plan in place is how you avoid it and that could be a couple different ways. I mean, you could design a simple will based estate plan. Whether you go through an attorney or we probate self done wills all the time which people find all over the place on the Internet or elsewhere. Sometimes they go just fine. Most of the time they go just fine. Sometimes they don't and those situations are equally as tragic. Because again, it just doesn't work because a mistake was made somehow, but having it in place is essential. Beyond that, the also incapacity planning documents, so having a sturdy financial power of attorney so that your spouse could manage financial assets if they needed to or a medical power of attorney to make medical decisions on your behalf, HIPAA forms, director to physicians. These are all just basic documents that everyone needs in place, but especially blended families to make sure we know exactly who's in control if someone needed to be, as well as, Where the assets are headed, you know, those decisions have got to be made. And then beyond that I'm a big fan of just avoiding probate in general for my family's frankly, for folks that aren't as familiar with what the process is, I'll just describe it as quick as I can. Basically, when someone passes away, if you have a will based estate plan, well, you've got to probate that will. And what that means is you've got to hire an attorney, a probate attorney. Fill out and get all the information to them, you know, the original will the death certificate, a lot of information about the family and the assets. It takes 2 to 3 months for the attorney to get you in front of a judge, a probate judge. And that is. You're a lot of it's just publishing notice throughout the county and getting your case ready, but then you physically have to go in front of the judge. You know, in a crowded room on a weekday morning and testify about your family testify about your assets and present the will to the judge. They might ask a few questions. Once they're satisfied, then they would appoint you as the executor. Then you have to take another three months to prepare an inventory for the judge. So you have to appraise your real estate assets, your vehicles. Your financial accounts, you have to get statements from the date of death from your spouse. And then once you've got that done, the judge reviews it, signs off on it, lets creditors have a chance to present claims against the estate. So think credit card bills, medical bills from the hospital. Things like that, and then once the dust has settled, then finally you have, you know, the privilege of putting your stuff back in your name, right? So you can prepare a deed to transfer the house back into your name 100%, but it takes 6 to 9 months at minimum to get through. It usually, if everything goes well, costs between 000 by the time you've paid the probate attorneys, the court fees, the deed work to transfer it. And it's at the absolute worst time that you would have to be dealing with something like that. You know, you just lost a loved one. People just don't want to go through it. It's very invasive and they don't understand why they have to. And the short answer is they don't have to. For the most part for my estate planning clients. When we sit down to design a plan, we're designing one so that they can avoid having to go through probate and that can be done in several different ways. There's a an easy way is a ladybird deed or a transfer on death deed, which makes a lot of sense in certain situations. But by far, the most popular 1 is a revocable living trust. Which without diving into too much detail on it, I just think of it like this little box that we put your real estate in. And the difference is that the county, whenever they have the deed to see who owns this piece of property, instead of having 2 spouses on their 50-50 we just have a trust that holds it and owns it. When 1 spouse passes away. We don't have to change anything with the county. It stays in the name of the trust. The surviving spouse is still in control of that trust. They could sell it the very next day. They could refinance it to whatever they need to do without ever having to deal with a probate attorney or go in front of a probate judge. So the benefit of that also with a blended family is that it's crystal clear. Who is in control who's in charge and we're not even in court or involved with anything messy. And so everybody knows exactly what's going to go down and there's no time to argue about it because you're done. Yeah, and I would add to that the probate when it's probate, it's public record. So you can read the will you can read the different aspects of the case when it's presented, it's all right there. And sometimes that inventory is made public, too like, what's the value of the house and what's the value of the car or whatever it is that they take the inventory of. So, very public very personal. And so a trust would also skirt that issue. Yeah, and even beyond just people being nosy a lot of my clients have to deal with cold call salesmen, you know, that reach out to them because they see, oh, this person just inherited a house, or this person just inherited, you know, these assets. And so they get a lot of calls from realtors, they get a lot of calls from insurance salesmen, life insurance salesmen, they get a lot. Just a lot of chatter and noise that they really an attention that they don't want. with a revocable trust, it's private. And again, you just avoid all that nonsense and.. Go ahead. I was just going to say, so you mentioned, you know, 6 to 9 months of probate and then maybe 6 to 7000 dollars to go through that process. I don't know if that's including the prepping of the will or not, but trusts can be formed a lot for a lot less than that, would you say? Absolutely. Depending on what your goals are. The problem with just using the word trust is that there's 100 different types of trust, right? So, if the goal is just to avoid probate and that's it and we're done that's going to be a relatively simple type of trust. I would say. 3900 would be kind of your entrance as far as a trust based estate plan, which would also include the deed work to transfer it into the trust that ranges up to on average 5900, somewhere in there, just depending on the complexity of the assets. And then if we go beyond that, then we're factoring in other things to consider, like. Asset or divorce protection for the children when they eventually inherit estate tax planning. If we have a large estate, then there's a lot we can do to reduce assets or in the situation of blended families. Potentially, we want to leave, you know, all of the assets to the surviving spouse, but eventually lock in the children as the beneficiaries when the surviving spouse passes away. That way, you know, you know, you're taking care of your spouse, but at the end of the day, nobody can change. That your children will eventually inherit when they pass away, such as the house is a big item we frequently do that for. So those different goals and situations sometimes require more than one trust. It's all within the same document though. And that all of that, of course, affects the amount of work that goes into it. Sure. The bigger the trust, the bigger the probate problems you're avoiding. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 100%. So what is the hardest part of drafting a plan, estate plan for a blended family? The situation that I just described is usually the most complicated because if you stop and think about it, we've got a house and we've got maybe a couple that have been married for a few years. And they want to leave that and other assets to the surviving spouse, but then when that surviving spouse passes away, you know, usually their will leaves it to their own children and their own, you know, and so they don't want to just disinherit their children if they pass away first. That's usually not. You know, not necessarily fair, or at least my clients don't think so. And so, a lot of that leads to complex situations where we have to make sure the surviving spouse is provided for, but also make sure that the first spouse who passes away, their children don't accidentally get disinherited. Right. I would say that's the most complicated. Beyond that. Who's going to be in control of the assets? You know, do we want the surviving spouse to be completely in charge of making sure all of that is taken care of? Or do we want maybe to name 1 of the 1st bus who passes away children to also be involved immediately? That's kind of a delicate situation with a lot to consider. So every family is different and unique and has different goals and different dynamics from that standpoint. Right? And then if you've got. The new wife has younger children and then are there going to be, you know, are there going to be gifts made to them as stepchildren from the first one to just the jealousy, all of that. So it can be a lot. Tell us about your how you would approach the blended family. What is your process like? When do they have special? Are there special questions that you're going to ask them? Are there special things that they need to bring to their appointment? What is that? Like, Without getting too far into the weeds of that.. Sure. Usually what I like to do is hop on a discovery call. So we'll jump on the phone for 30 minutes with within a state attorney. And we don't charge for that. It's just a free consultation where we say. You know, here's what we're going to recommend. Here's the different options you have. And I usually just ask the question, I asked the hard questions right then and there, like, have you talked about this you know, where you want the assets to go after you've passed away. who you want to be in control of it. Usually you can tell whether or not the couple's talked about by then and sometimes they're, they haven't, and they're not ready. And so, at the end of that phone call, we typically will offer an in person consultation for about an hour and a half to just come in. We draw everything out. We discuss it. All we design it. And at the end of that meeting, if they want to move forward, we put a flat fee at that point in time. How our processes is we just ask for a half up front and half whenever they finish when we sign the document. So, just about 2 to 3 months, roughly, depending on what we're doing, but before we come into that in person, hour and a half meeting you know, if they haven't talked some of these tougher questions out, I always assign them homework and say, you know, your job is to at least have discussed this and thought it through and be close to an idea, you know, nothing's in stone. You don't have to have it decided by the time you come in to see us, but. It helps if you've spoken about it and talked it through, and that way we can kind of help get you there to that final decision with good educated questions when we get there. So, and it's, again, nothing's also in stone throughout the whole process. So, you know, you've got two to three months to kind of think through and work these things out. And then once the documents have been signed they're relatively simple to adjust as well, so we can always change your estate plan as your life and dynamics change as well. Correct. Right and just to be clear that just because the will is drawn up, it's not executed until it's signed or the trust or whatever. So, oh, absolutely. That follow that last meeting is a really important meeting. Okay, Kyle, so let's assume that someone is listening and they're on the fence. They have a blended family. And they're like, I'm going to be dead and gone. You know, I'll let everybody that's going to work itself out. What would you say to that person? If, you know what you're leaving my, my thoughts are just how do you want to be remembered? I mean, at the end of the day, it's going to be a tough situation when your family loses a loved one. And if it's. That quick and easy. Many of my clients, many of my family members are very grateful that their parents, you know, took the time to to set it up and make it easy on them. It's one of the best gifts that you can give to your families when the time comes. And so they're, very fond and grateful of that. And then I have other situations where it's a total mess and the surviving family. You know, they knew it was going to be a total mess and they have to cope with the fact that their loved one was okay with that. And so, it doesn't leave a very pleasant final memory. And so it's really my question is just, how do you want to be remembered? Yeah, that's really good. The 6 to 9 month period of working through that, if they choose to get well, it would be longer than that if they don't have a will, probably would be longer than that. And that whole time they're thinking. Oh, why didn't they? Why did they do this? Oh, you're right. Ooh. Well, Kyle, I so appreciate you taking time out of your busy schedule to be with me and to chat on this podcast. How can people reach you and find your information? Oh, gosh. My my website, hands down, Robbinsestatelaw.com tons of resources on there. We even have a tool for people who have lost a loved one to answer a few questions and find out if they have to go through probate or not. If they can do it on their own for small estates worth less than 75, 000 with no real estate. They can just fill out the forms. It'll give them, you know, for free and take care of it. And then, if they do need to go through it, it'll tell them what type they need to go through and give them a rough estimate of the fees. So, just different items like that are sprinkled throughout it for, you know, the different things that we do. So, hands down, the website is the place to go. And then always, of course, if you're in a situation or you're thinking about getting a plan in place, or you need to go through probate, just give us a call. I mean, we we don't charge. It's free consultations. If we can answer your questions and we tell people straight up whether they need an attorney or not, and if they don't, we'll point them in the direction to the resources that that they need to get their stuff taken care of. So, yeah. Right. And so for the Houston office, is that a different number than the office that you have in Austin? Yes, and no, we have various different numbers, but they all ring the same girls. So you'll reach Stacy is my main point of contact. She's in Salado. She doesn't even live in Austin. So, you know, just any from Google, if you type in Robbins estate law dot com, any of those numbers work just fine. You're going to get the same team. Okay, great. And that's Robbins with two B's, Robbins. Correct. Yeah, R O B B I N S. Yeah. And you're on Facebook and all the places. I'm everywhere. So, yeah. So is there anything that you feel like we didn't talk about regarding blended families that is on your heart to say before we end this? You know, my attitude is just at the end of the day, it is so chaotic and so expensive Whenever the situation goes wrong.. I don't care if you go on the Internet and download it, just get an estate plan in place at the end of the day. That's going to be so much better than leaving a mess with nothing in place. And sometimes it's okay, but sometimes it's very much not. Okay. So just get it done. What are you waiting on? Yeah, there you go. Okay, Kyle, you have a great day. Thank you again for joining us and we'll stay in touch with you for sure. Hope to see you in the Houston area in the near future. Anyway listeners. Thank you so much for joining us here today. We hope that you learn some things and that you're motivated. My goal for this year is to have, influence over 50 people that will start a new plan or trust or will or something like that. So if that's you, if you decide this year is a result of something you hear me on, please let me know because I've got a list going and I can't wait to get to 50. So, okay, that's it for today. You guys have a great day. Know that you matter and that you're not in this alone. People like Kyle and myself are here to help you and we want to help you be better on the other side of this transition. Take good care.