Growth and Resilience: A Tale of Overcoming Temptations.

What happens when two friends, your usual podcast host and our guest, Myriam, a pharmacology and therapeutics student, sit down to discuss the omnipresent challenge of temptation? We promise an insightful and honest exploration, as we tackle this complex issue from its origins to its role in everyday life, far beyond religious connotations. We ponder internal and external sources of temptation, the struggle between immediate gratification and long-term rewards, and share our personal experiences and insights on overcoming these struggles through surrendering to a higher power.

Navigating friendships can be tricky when temptations loom large. We delve deep into this, examining how to stay true to one's values without jeopardizing relationships. Tapping into the concept of resilience in the face of temptation, we draw strength from biblical verses while underscoring the importance of setting boundaries. Miriam adds her unique perspective with compelling stories of growth and resilience, emphasizing the importance of recognizing our weaknesses and overcoming them. 

Switching gears to more practical real-world temptations, we share strategies for managing temptations related to food, spending, and substance use. We stress the significance of self-care, discussing budgeting, delayed gratification, and mindful spending, while emphasizing the essentiality of getting help when needed. As we conclude our episode, we invite you to join our book discussion and share your own experiences with temptation. This episode is a must-listen if you're looking to gain insights into navigating temptation and growing through struggles.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hey everyone, welcome again to the second episode of the Salt and Light podcast. We would like to thank you for all the support you've given us on the first episode. Thank you again for all the likes. The shares continue, tell us what you think, and today we have Miriam for the second episode. Welcome, miriam, and I'll let you introduce yourself and tell us also why did you choose our topic today.

Speaker 2: 0:22

Okay, thank you so much for having me. It's a pleasure. My name is Miriam and I study in pharmacology and therapeutics and I also work in a pharmaceutical company. I'm 22 years old quite old, a little bit and the topic of today that we chose was temptations, and I believe it's a really important topic because it's something that we're always struggling with. It's a continuous struggle. The source can be an external source, our internal source. Sometimes we are the source of our own temptations. It's not even something that comes from the outside that triggers something, and sometimes it's just you and I feel like the word temptation.

Speaker 1: 1:17

I've only heard it mostly in a church and spiritual gatherings. Is it something that we struggle only when we're Christian, or something that we could have even though you're living your life every day? Of course not.

Speaker 2: 1:34

I don't think it's only related to church. If we give a really small example, sometimes I'm at work and it's a really boring shift and I want to hold my phone and go on Instagram and scroll through. That's a temptation and it's nothing related with religion or church or something like that.

Speaker 1: 1:55

Okay, so let us define what is temptation. I actually will read what the Health Psychology Department of Stanford University. They say that temptations are a stimuli in one's immediate environment that prompt thoughts, feelings and behavior that are contrary to one's goals and values. Temptations rest at the heart of self-controlled dilemmas, decisions that require choosing between smaller immediate versus larger distal outcomes. What do you think about that definition?

Speaker 2: 2:32

Definitely. It reminds me of the experiment they had on little children. I don't know if you've heard of it, it's with the marshmallows. So basically, they bring children, they bring children in and with many children, and they gave them the choice. I can't quite remember the exact experiment, but they told them okay, you can either eat this marshmallow right now or if you wait three minutes or a certain amount of time, you're going to have more marshmallows. And some kids chose the instant reward and they ate the marshmallow right away. And some other kids they decided to wait and get more marshmallows.

Speaker 1: 3:15

It actually makes me think about a class that I had of psychology. Freud talks, goes in more deep in the psychology of human beings when he explains that we do have three sides and I think we talked about it the last episode and there's this kid in those three parts, this kid and ourselves that always wants the gratification today. Yes, so for Miriam, and I want to hear more about you what are the different temptations that you feel like you see every day in everyone's life and what are the ones that are? Maybe, without going into details if you don't want to, but there are the darker ones how do you deal with them? How do you deal with those? You know harsher, darker ones, because we're called to be perfect, like Jesus, right, we're called to be better, to help others.

Speaker 1: 4:17

And in my head it's very hard. Like I'm thinking about my own temptations and all the falls that I go through and I'm like, why am I still doing what I'm doing? Like why, you know, like this imposter feeling that I have right now in front of the camera where, like I shouldn't be the one talking, I am so not good, like I shouldn't be the one in front of the camera talking it is and honestly and I've been going through this struggle since nine years old it's a really big struggle of mine and it is a temptation.

Speaker 2: 4:54

At the end of the day and I can tell you that this is again my own experience and I 100% believe it when I left it to God, it's as if it disappeared, and whenever I try to regain not access I'm sorry when I try to regain control. Thank you and tell myself okay, Miriam, you got this Like this. You just fall head first and I know it's crazy. I used to hear it a lot from servants and meetings and from different priests, and I never believed it, to be honest. But I remember that.

Speaker 2: 5:41

Just leave it to God. Pray to God. He's going to take care of it. He's stronger than you.

Speaker 1: 5:48

It's never you that never, never believe the whole teddy bear. Have you seen the picture with a teddy bear? When as like a little girl that is holding a small teddy bear and God has a bigger one.

Speaker 2: 5:59

But I remember the turning point in this continuous struggle of mine. I have other temptations, but this is the example that I have, because it's the biggest thing, by the way, that I'm still going through, because we fall, we get up, we fall, we get up. But I remember one time I was no longer feeling ashamed. You know, like it was that bad to the point that you no longer feel ashamed. It's normal, whatever, no, no longer change.

Speaker 1: 6:29

You're even defying people around you with that and to be like you know what. I don't care about you, I'm done, I'm gonna go in it.

Speaker 2: 6:38

I'm gonna do it.

Speaker 1: 6:39

I'm gonna be proud about it.

Speaker 2: 6:40

Exactly, everyone does it. God is gonna punish everyone. All of these thoughts go through your head.

Speaker 1: 6:49

He is gonna punish everyone. Be like yeah, he's gonna take the time. I don't think he's gonna be defied by time. I have two minutes, okay, the rest go in.

Speaker 2: 7:00

But I remember that one time I don't know what had changed in me, but this one time I was feeling really bad and I was really. I prayed. It was one of the times that I really prayed from, really from my heart, like from the bottom of my heart is as if I was fighting with God. I was telling him I can't do this anymore. I really need you to step in, because I really can't do it myself. I promised you once and twice and three times and ten times that I'm gonna stop, but I can't and I cannot do it myself and you really need to step in because I'm not gonna be able to. And I'm not even joking. It's as if it disappeared. It wasn't even crossing my mind.

Speaker 1: 7:47

I know that feeling because I actually had one like this. I was after the Holy Week and I was actually struggling in the Holy Week to work on that temptation. And right at resurrection I really felt. At resurrection I was being liberated, with all of you one, and for a second I was breathing. It was something that I felt like I always felt like I was kept down like shang old.

Speaker 2: 8:19

You're rising from that too. He's rising with you.

Speaker 1: 8:24

And I just felt liberated and I was able to take a deep breath and then, even the days after I was just living that light, I was actually happy, pure happiness.

Speaker 2: 8:38

Liberated. But one week later back in it and it happens, and you know what we always talk about forgiving other people, forgiving other people, you need to learn how to forgive yourself too, because it's one thing holding yourself accountable and it's one thing not forgiving yourself. It's done, it's in the past, you've confessed, move on, because God has moved on. It's non-existent for Him, whatever you've done. It's non-existent, it's over. But it's for you yourself. You cannot move past it. You're not forgiving yourself, and I think it's important to learn how to forgive yourself.

Speaker 1: 9:21

There's a verse that I actually highlighted Matthew 26.41. Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit, indeed, is willing, but the flesh is weak.

Speaker 2: 9:37

Yes, yes exactly.

Speaker 1: 9:41

And the funny thing is one of the things that I was very I was confessing one day and I was sitting with Abuna and I was talking about huge things, things. I was ashamed and I'm like I had a tear and I don't know what to do and he legit said one thing he's like eat less. And I was like I understand that I need a diet, thank you. But he was like do you think I'm talking about you getting in shape or anything? He's like the moment that your body is satisfied with food, your mind and your spirit is going to be, is going to be willing, and then your body is going to be willing to do more sin Gluttony is the stepping stone to all the other sins. The moment that you're satisfying your body and your.

Speaker 2: 10:30

Honestly, I don't know how I feel about that. Because he's like, if you think about it, I need to sit with it for a day or two and think about it. I'll come back to you on it, but I don't know.

Speaker 1: 10:43

I said because I was thinking about it. He was like think about it and come back to me. And, seriously, the different times that I was actually in deep in my temptation was when I was actually after food or I was like big time sushi, you know that day and you eat hard. Or and it's different when I'm actually fasting or I'm eating less, I'm on the run, I'm active.

Speaker 2: 11:12

And the way I understood the verse. It's as if there was two people inside of you. You know this picture with the devil and the angel. It's that there's the spirit and the flesh, and sometimes not sometimes most times they want different stuff, they want opposite stuff, and this is how I understood it and it is to me in that sense it is true, like it.

Speaker 1: 11:41

So back to we were defining temptation. I like how you were like okay, so the body in your, you think that the body is quite a source of temptation. That's what you're saying when you compared it to the devil and the angel.

Speaker 2: 11:57

Your mind. Your mind is a huge temptation Like, for example, I'm going to talk about my own experience and I've struggled with anxiety and depression and it was really bad and I've developed bad habits. For example, I sleep way too much. Sometimes I just want to stay in my room and not get out of my room. This is Unfortunately, it has become my comfort zone. And going against that. For me it's going against a huge temptation. So my mind here is playing tricks on me Again.

Speaker 1: 12:31

I'm talking about me and my experience by the way you're seeing it right, because one of the types or the different sources or variation if you call it that of temptation and that's again from the Stanford University. So there's different variation of how you could get tempted. It could be in a situation you could have a motive for that temptation, and what you're talking about is the personal variation which is something that is familiar to you. So how the writer is, such automation of one's behavior toward temptation might also exasperate susceptibility, oh my God, susceptibility to unwanted and accidental priming effect, that is, motivation to indulge in a temptation, maybe activated by social cues, without conscious intent or awareness. So, you being in your room actually it happens to me too, me being in my room there's certain temptation that hits me when I'm on my computer at home or if I'm in my room. My room is a certain area that is.

Speaker 2: 13:39

It's a comfort zone, of course.

Speaker 1: 13:41

And that's why sometimes I'll be like I'll just work from outside or I'll just do certain things for me to clear out my head first before doing anything. And I'm just like. It is so true. And even in confession, they always ask you or they tell you do something, work out One, two three.

Speaker 2: 13:59

Of course, it's always physical Stay busy. If you stay busy and you don't give yourself the time to really like, think or to wander off, you're distracting yourself basically.

Speaker 1: 14:12

A way that I want to just segue this. So we're talking about the mind, the body, the person, and there's a lot more to say and I think we're going to talk about it for a long time. We're going to continue it. But I had a question Do you think, as I said, situationally and the motive behind temptations, can this be sourced, outsourced by someone around you? Could it be your environment, a friend, a family member? Definitely, pure pressure of course it gives you that, how do you deal with?

Speaker 2: 14:46

that Definitely.

Speaker 1: 14:48

How do you receive it first and how do you deal with that ma'am?

Speaker 2: 14:56

I think it depends. Obviously I'm not perfect and I fall a lot and sometimes I give into it. But I think the most important thing is that you realize that you've fallen so you can get up quickly. There's a verse that says I can't quite remember it in English, but if we're roughly translating it righteous man falls seven times a day and gets up. So God knows, you're gonna fall. Obviously you're gonna fall, just get up. So I think sometimes, when I'm not alert or I'm not fully there or I'm distracted by anything, yes, I'll definitely fall and I'll give into it because I'm not there. But when I'm there, sometimes I tend to change topics or literally just remove myself from this situation, like literally just leave, get out of it.

Speaker 1: 15:55

Okay, so fleeing is also a solution, but that's the short, so that's a good. I really loved it because I also use that. I feel like whenever I'm not in a good place or if I feel like I'm gonna do something wrong, I'd rather be away and be like you know what? I don't want to deal, not deal with it, but I want to be in a place and avoid it and clear my head so that I don't need to fall into any errors.

Speaker 2: 16:25

Now, this is short term, if I could say that Of course, sometimes you can't, sometimes you can't run away, but I think you need to be also confident enough to make a point, which means, for example, if you're with your friends and let's say they're all smoking, they're smoking whatever they're smoking.

Speaker 1: 16:46

I like the new ones. You never know where you are smoking so many things.

Speaker 2: 16:52

And you do not smoke. Now they're your friends and you really like them. And let's say you don't want to go home, you need to be confident enough to say, guys, I'm not going to smoke. You need to make, not to make a point to them, no, you need to make a point to them, I'm sorry.

Speaker 1: 17:11

I want to see where she is not making a point.

Speaker 2: 17:14

No, of course they need to know. This is who I am. We're friends. I give you my advice. This is not good for you, but I'm in no way imposing my lifestyle on you. So I respect the choices that you're making, although I do not agree with it, and I think this goes both ways. Same way, I'm respecting your choices, you need to respect my choices. So if you decide to smoke, for example, and we're in the same outing or gathering or whatever, you would know for a fact that you're not going to tell me oh Miriam, do you want to smoke, for example?

Speaker 1: 18:01

But would you in this situation? I feel like you're going to still be friends with them. Is that a possibility or, ultimately, you're going to be. So let's say that they keep this lifestyle. Let's say that they don't do anything, they don't change anything and they keep everything, including the smoking habit. Would you think that being their friends is justifiable in some way? At some point you're going to grow out of it. At some point sooner or later. What you're saying is sooner or later I'm going to be out of that friendship.

Speaker 2: 18:36

You're going to make that decision, you're going to feel like this is not your place, I'm not comfortable to be around you guys anymore, and you're going to leave Now. I'm not talking about smoking exactly. It's not only that, because you can't do anything. Yeah, I believe that I didn't mean smoking per se, smoking is a choice that we could say clubbing.

Speaker 1: 18:58

we could say whatever it is. Whatever it is, and that's the point.

Speaker 2: 19:04

Yeah, but if it's something, if you're not on the same grounds, at some point you're going to grow out of it and sometimes when you're young you would be stubborn. You're going to try to convince yourself that these are the right people for me. These people love me, although we're not on the same ground, although we don't have the same stand like bottom values, we're not coming from the same place, but no, they're my friends, na na na, and sooner or later you will grow out of it. And it's not going to be a conscious decision necessarily. You're not going to sit with yourself and be like, okay, we're not going to be friends with these people anymore. No, it's going to come naturally.

Speaker 1: 19:50

Sometimes you will, I actually did. I had to sit, I actually sat down.

Speaker 2: 19:55

That's painful.

Speaker 1: 19:56

It was very painful and it took me so much time, but when I was like I don't know what to do anymore and the answer was it's okay, move on, leave and move on, and it wasn't a certain temptation, it was just like so much trouble and problems and but I liked that you started with because we didn't have the same foundation bases. What are these foundations that you're talking about? What is your foundation for you to decide if this friend will be a good friend or not and from there maybe minimize the source of temptations from them?

Speaker 2: 20:35

What are they adding to me? What are they doing in my life? What track are they putting me on? Are they making me doubt myself and doubt who I am, or are they enriching that?

Speaker 1: 20:51

People will tell you I'm gonna try to be the devil advocate Please.

Speaker 2: 20:56

I love that.

Speaker 1: 20:58

It's gonna be a hard one, but let's say that I'd be like why I've been there for you. Why are you trying to add up what I'm doing for you, or not? Okay, great it's disrespectful to my friendship, what I've given to you.

Speaker 2: 21:13

Okay, what have you added to me? Because this sentence, as it is, has literally been said to me in a friendship that for some reason had ended. After all that I've done to you, you do this to me. What did you do to me? List, list. I wanna list of the things that you've done to me.

Speaker 1: 21:35

What did you add to my life? Let me be that friend of yours. Yes, please, that sat down with you late nights to talk to you about guy issues or the problems you have at home. The time invested in that friendship.

Speaker 2: 21:51

And I have done the same. It's not a one way thing. You've been there for me and I've been there for you. This is what friends are for, but what I'm talking about is different. What did you add to Miriam? Did you make me grow? Did you help me in my growth? Or have you been weighing me down? Some people would let you go. These are true friends. They would literally. They would see you fly and just be there in case you fall, but they were looking at you flying and enjoying and actually enjoying that, and they would give you tips. Maybe do your wings like that, that is, that they would wanna see you fly even higher and higher, but they're always there in case you fall and they wouldn't wanna weigh you down. And some other people know they are down and they want you to stay down with them.

Speaker 1: 22:49

I'm laughing because I've seen, I'm actually visualizing what you're saying with certain situations that I've seen myself.

Speaker 2: 22:59

And it's being able to see that. It took me years to realize that these people are weighing me down and it took me a horrible situation, it took me a slap in the face to see that.

Speaker 1: 23:14

And then I.

Speaker 2: 23:15

I'm sorry. And then when that, when this situation happened obviously it was it really did hurt, because I wasn't expecting that from them, although there was a small voice in me telling me Miriam, no, miriam, these are not it, these are not the people we want in our lives. Go away. But I've always answered that voice with no, we haven't seen anything wrong from them. They're our friends. Don't say that.

Speaker 1: 23:42

Everything is perfect, what you're talking about Exactly.

Speaker 2: 23:47

But it's. It took me that slap in the face and it was painful, but then it happened naturally that I don't need you in my life and, ironically enough, this person tried to come back. I'm sorry, ironically, this person tried to come back in my life recently and you said no. I said You're true. I said no, like we can keep it at that for the sake of for the sake of the podcast.

Speaker 1: 24:18

So whole paragraph. Some of you, no, no, no, it wasn't it wasn't a whole paragraph.

Speaker 2: 24:22

It was two words.

Speaker 1: 24:24

Okay, okay, no, it was basically no, really no.

Speaker 2: 24:30

So absolutely no, you know that stand up comedian. Absolutely not. Where can I go?

Speaker 1: 24:43

But I, because I relate with you when you say a slap in the face. My question is does it really need to come to a slap? Is there a way for us to always know how to deal with those source of temptation, the source of all those attacks? Is it an actually let's, let's, let's, is it an attack given by God, or is it simply a bad choice?

Speaker 2: 25:12

What do you think I wanna hear? I wanna hear from you first. What do you?

Speaker 1: 25:17

think. Usually the host asks I'm sorry. No, no, no. I recently was made aware that there is nothing, nothing that comes bad from God.

Speaker 2: 25:34

Definitely. Yes, there's a verse in James. It says it's actually a couple of verses, I'm sorry, it's James 1, 13 to 18. And it says when tempted, no one should say God is tempting me, for God cannot be tempted, I'm sorry, for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone. But each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desires and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin, and sin, when it is full grown, gives birth to death. Don't be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. Every good and perfect gift is from above, Coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of first fruits of all he created.

Speaker 1: 26:33

So why are they saying that? He's the source of like this sentence that I hear is well, god sent me those temptations for me to grow. Is it because it's something that we've talked about last time and we didn't really get into it because we were talking more about the forgiveness of everything? But when I'm in a bad situation or when I'm tempted, what is it that makes the temptation of mine we?

Speaker 2: 27:04

use it as I'm not sure if this is the word in English as a hanger shaman.

Speaker 1: 27:09

Yeah, hanger.

Speaker 2: 27:10

Exactly God has, but actually God, no, God can use this temptation that you're going through to give you something fruitful. There's a verse Romans Romans 828. We know that all things God works for the good for those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. So everything he can use whatever situation that you're in and shape it into something beautiful. For you that's doable. But now does that mean that whatever that you've gotten yourself into comes from Him? No, because if it did, then where is your free will right?

Speaker 1: 28:00

Oh, nice touch. So it is a free will. So God respects our free will.

Speaker 2: 28:05

Of course. Now there's a huge difference between he knows and it's coming from Him. I know that the tree is there, but did I put it there? No, but I know it's here. You see what I'm trying to say, 100%.

Speaker 1: 28:24

So actually I have a start that is a bit scary and it's actually very dark and it's in the United States. So 40% of death in the United States every year, every year, are attributable to self-control failures. What? How can it come to that? And I'm just when I read it. When I was preparing, I was so surprised on how it could actually lead to death.

Speaker 2: 28:54

Cigarettes, drinking and driving, alcohol, poisoning these are all things that I'm sorry, like it or not. It's temptations. You smoke cigarettes because of temptations. I'm not saying you're good or bad, but this is something that you need to make peace with. You are tempted by cigarettes or you're tempted by the feeling that cigarettes give you by the peace of mind, by the relief from anxiety, whatever it is. So that's why you smoke. For example, if we go in parallel, if I'm going to talk about my, for example, experience with the bad habits I've developed because of depression, I am tempted by the feeling of nothing goes through my mind. I just want to sleep and lay in bed all day. So sometimes I give in to it and I lay in bed and I sleep all day.

Speaker 1: 30:05

And how do you manage that temptation? How do you try to limit that temptation? Is there any tips or tricks that you use to help yourself not to fall on that temptation?

Speaker 2: 30:20

Honestly, it depends what we're talking about, right. So, for example, if we're talking about depression and anxiety, go seek help. Go seek help. You need professional help. I know for a fact. I needed professional help because at some point I was told by many people you know, our beloved Tantat and uncles pray more. Habib Tsi, may God lead you on the right path. That would just make me angry with God because I'm praying but I still feel bad. I am not okay. I am not doing better, definitely not. I actually had to go and seek professional help. Then I was able to get the benefits from praying. Once this medical attention was given to me and I learned how to manage it, whatever way I chose with my therapist to manage it. Then I was able to really get the benefits people get from praying to feel heard, to feel safe, to feel not to feel heard, to be heard, to be fulfilled. I was able to feel all that. That's it for talking about these two bad boys.

Speaker 1: 31:35

Well, I feel like any Temptation that becomes a habit, a bad habit. You'll need help.

Speaker 2: 31:49

I think the first step is to realize that you've fallen into the Temptation. This is the first step. For example, if you ask a person that smokes oh, I'm not addicted, I can stop it anytime. No, first of all you need to realize that you're addicted. That's first of all.

Speaker 1: 32:12

It's the first thing that everyone wants. If I want to stop, I'll stop right now, but I'll do it tomorrow.

Speaker 2: 32:18

Yes, actually I had a friend in Egypt and we were just talking about that. He was telling me in the beginning he was telling me, I can stop it, but anytime, I'm not addicted. And I was telling him, okay, stop. And then he was like, okay, I'll stop. And then the next day he was like, no, I think I need help, I can't stop. I'm like there we go. That's the first step. Checkmark, we've realized it.

Speaker 1: 32:49

It's usually the go to help, especially for every person. Is it the same with us? I feel like if I want to talk about myself, I feel like if I have God and I have fear and have this and that, why do I need a therapist? I have the priest If I need to go talk and confess you. But I love the way that you're saying no, I'm relearning some stuff, I'm readjusting how to love, how to hate, how to not hate, but like how to feel hurt, how to deal with hurt, how to deal with life, and just reprogram that. And I feel like it's we're not, we're not seeing this enough that priests are not therapists.

Speaker 2: 33:38

They're not therapists.

Speaker 1: 33:40

They're not there to help us as much as they can. But imagine having a thousand every single day. But what I'm saying is that I've read this book that says confession is not a therapy session. Confession is few minutes. You sit down with the priest. You tell them I have done this, that, that and that.

Speaker 2: 34:02

And you make peace with. God.

Speaker 1: 34:05

Okay.

Speaker 2: 34:06

Confession is you making peace with God? Now you need to make peace with yourself too, and this is a really important aspect. And sometimes for small things, confession can help, because sometimes the only reason why you can't make peace with yourself is you feel like you're not in peace with God. So in these cases, yes, confession will help, but in other cases it will not help.

Speaker 1: 34:31

And not even that. I think that the spiritual exercises that priests give, they help you to, to, to continue in your spiritual struggle. But as a human being, when I am stuck psychologically in a certain pattern, I need to break through. I even had a priest tell me, by the way, that this program that could help you with this kind of temptation that you're always hitting and that habit that you're always hitting, why don't? We'll try to help you out to cover some of the expenses, and that was him trying to find a solution with me for that kind of problem.

Speaker 2: 35:13

Definitely. And therapy is not. It's not taboo and it's not bad and it doesn't go against Christianity in any sort. In any sort of way it helps you become a better version of yourself. This is how I see it.

Speaker 1: 35:28

Okay, so I'll, I'll give you. I have actually a few basic not basic temptation, but very known temptation, the top five known temptations out there and I have. I have different ways to manage them and I want your input, I want, I want, Miriam, Is it applicable?

Speaker 2: 35:45

to you Okay.

Speaker 1: 35:47

It's it's it's it's basic, but it's it's things I found from different from the different therapists, different universities and and we'll see how it goes. So first, first one that we see a lot is the temptation from food that I talked about, right? So different things is regular physical activity. A different thing is different way to manage. Is a balanced diet, proper meal planning. What do you think about these? Do you think it's applicable.

Speaker 2: 36:18

Personally, I have not. Food is not a big issue for me. Like I can't relate to this as a temptation.

Speaker 1: 36:27

I could relate to it. I like food, I love food, but if I do not eat I'm okay too, Like sometimes I have cravings like everyone, of course, but I mean, I've heard a lot of the trainers tell you I need to stop eating after eight, after nine. Late night snacks are the worst. No breakfast in the morning is a is a bad like. Not having breakfast in the morning is a bad choice for your, for your own health.

Speaker 2: 36:56

I'm not a bad habit, but it's not preferred.

Speaker 1: 36:59

Not preferred. So I think I think using a balanced diet, having actually a plan when to eat, cause I had an episode where I was helping out in a, in a place it's actually two hours from here, and I was. I was actually tired. I was after a full day of work and then slept a few hours, went back in the day after we had liturgy in the morning and then with the kids and everything just jumped in and then I was like you know what? I'm going to take a break, I'm going to go sit down. I had some allergies. I went to sit down. No responsiveness.

Speaker 1: 37:34

I was hearing stuff Like I was hearing people around me. I was unable anyone to respond and you know everyone, you know the people are like oh, it's nothing, he's just most probably sleeping, until they realize I was just not answering, even if they were pounding me. And I just realized how as much of like physical work I've been putting myself into and you know you, you find yourself, you're able to continue and you add and you add and add. You don't mind because your body is sustaining all that pressure and the moment you fall that there's a clicks. No, I need to start taking care of myself and it was. It was sad because I really was panicking in that moment and it was really stressful in that moment. I really wish no one goes with that, but I feel like we always wait at the last minute, when we're not beyond help. But you're in a bad situation. You received a slap to your face, definitely, and even in like, for example.

Speaker 2: 38:37

I know for a fact once we had a meeting, for example, and I remember I was starting to get up, I remember I was starting to sometimes, from time to time, I would get a panic attack. It's not as bad as before, it's less frequent, but it happens from a time to another. And I remember that I knew in the meeting I'm about to get a panic attack, like not like I need to leave, but I was telling myself, no, I'll stay, it's not that bad, it's okay. Until I really couldn't anymore. I was on the verge of losing it here. Then I realized okay, no, miriam, you have to go. Then I went, but I know now, looking back at it, if I had left the room it wouldn't have been that bad. When I had this thought Miriam, leave now, go get some fresh air. It wouldn't have turned into a bad panic attack. But the fact that I've waited and waited and waited and waited, Okay, I get you.

Speaker 1: 39:42

So, tackling it as soon as possible is the best option, of course, and that's great. Because the second one is shopping and spending. And okay, I got you there. So three ways the first one is budgeting, having a budget. The second one is delayed gratification. One you need to buy something but you wait for it to see and to test if you really want it, and the mindful spending it's always thinking about it twice or three times. But I love delayed gratification because, because of today's technology, everything comes on Amazon, everything comes in a day, like actually in the United States it's within the same day.

Speaker 2: 40:26

It's like you, oh really.

Speaker 1: 40:28

Actually no, no, no. I feel like I should have not said that.

Speaker 2: 40:32

Because with Sephora I know for like with Sephora, if you spend over a certain amount of time per time, a certain amount of certain amount per year, if you spend over that, sometimes you have delivery the same day. So I can order like, for example a lipstick and it's delivered to me at the end of the day.

Speaker 1: 40:51

Wow, that's, that's not. I don't want to ask what's the amount, because I'm scared of the amount. So let's go with number three, substance use. So this one is less frequent, but is is noted to be one of the biggest the harm is choices and the the the way to manage it is something that we know as support groups professional counseling and appropriate medical interventions.

Speaker 2: 41:23

And realize that you have a problem, I think in all five realizing is the number one. You need. You need to actually be willing to change, because, for example, no, I can't give that, but it's okay.

Speaker 1: 41:41

It's okay, no more about it. I know.

Speaker 2: 41:43

But let's say, for example, that my parents I'll talk about myself, for example, my parents find something in my, in my, in my, in my car. Okay, let's say they find a drugs, okay, and there's a difference between I want to stop because I want to stop because it's harming me and I want to stop because to satisfy my parents. Because if you're going to stop to satisfy your parents, you're going to get back to it because it's not coming from you. You're not stopping for you, you're stopping for someone else.

Speaker 1: 42:21

But there's also stopping, because if you continue, that's the end of the line.

Speaker 2: 42:26

For you. You need to realize that you're doing it for yourself. You're doing it because you feel bad. You, exactly you need to see that it's going to be the end if you continue.

Speaker 1: 42:38

There's this. There's this interview that I've watched about. It's with Simon Sinek. I don't know if you know him, so there's. I love this guy. And there's this. He gets questioned about helping others when to stop helping others? And he answers if the person that you're helping does not accept the change first. He wants to change and he accepts the situation and wants to change. You should stop helping him because it's only going to harm you and he's going to drag you with him.

Speaker 2: 43:13

Definitely.

Speaker 1: 43:13

And he gives the example of the lifeguards. Lifeguards when they when they actually help, and I think it's still the same Lifeguards when they help someone that is drowning. If they are not capable to handle the situation and they think that the drowning person is going to drown them also, they don't help. And that was very, I was very surprised, because they need to handle. So they need to handle the people need to accept the help first for them to not drown the life guard with them.

Speaker 2: 43:50

But I think and I may be wrong here they don't let them drown. What they do is that they wait until they pass out so they can stop resisting, and then they get the water, of course, but the rule is never get, never get drowned with the person. It goes against what you're trying to do.

Speaker 1: 44:11

Number four of our list is procrastination and time management. I think that is tackling everyone. Everyone is. We want to, since COVID especially.

Speaker 2: 44:21

Since COVID.

Speaker 1: 44:22

COVID sitting at home doing not. Actually, most of us did not work and just got the money.

Speaker 2: 44:28

Zoom, I'm closing the camera. Sorry, my computer does not have a camera and I'm sleeping while the lecture is being given Of course I cannot see things.

Speaker 1: 44:36

I cannot Things that I'm done.

Speaker 2: 44:40

Oh God, that cannot be.

Speaker 1: 44:44

But yeah, we've closed cameras. I mean like, yeah, yeah, it doesn't work.

Speaker 2: 44:47

I'm pretty sure my teachers have done it too. So like just in case everyone has done it somehow.

Speaker 1: 44:54

But the way to help with that is time blocking, setting goals, breaking tasks into manageable parts, like it's Mickey, break it till it's very. It's a singular task and tackling.

Speaker 2: 45:10

A calendar.

Speaker 1: 45:11

Yes, I need to do one.

Speaker 2: 45:15

And there's an app that it's that is really helping me studying. It's called forest. So this app, basically it's it's at 25 minutes and then five minutes of break. So during these 25, 25 minutes, you're studying and then and then you take a five minutes break, and what's really cool about it is that every time you accomplish 25 minutes there's a tree that's that's growing Exactly. So then so cute.

Speaker 1: 45:42

I saw that. Yeah, yeah, number five. And that's our new era the social media and the internet use the phone Right. So different ways to manage it is digital detox, scheduled offline time and productive hobby engagement. So people I've seen a lot of influencer be like I'm out and they come back, be like I'm back, and it's actually becoming a bit more regular, especially that mental health has been really been been pushed or touched or talked more.

Speaker 2: 46:22

Thank God yeah.

Speaker 1: 46:25

And that's because we've been dealing with our issues without talking about them. But I feel like all those actions I think that's I'm going to. I think it's very important to say if you do not choose to tackle those issues by yourselves and you take the initiative, even if it is with help, with a push of people around you, you're never going to tackle them. You're always going to feel tempted and fall into those traps. And it's something that you said that I love, because I don't know. I remember every single time if it wasn't for the support that I had, I would never be here today.

Speaker 2: 47:05

Of course. So it's crazy how saying that there's this one person or two people that come to your mind.

Speaker 1: 47:12

Yeah, and people undermine. And that's the friends that I kept. Yeah, and they stay with you. That's the family, and through it, all they're here.

Speaker 2: 47:20

Yeah, everything easier, and without them, without her, I wouldn't have been here. Yeah, good to hear.

Speaker 1: 47:26

Yeah, Thank you for being with us at least today. My pleasure Before we leave. Do you have one book recommendation or something that we could go and check it up to learn more?

Speaker 2: 47:39

Actually, there's a really nice story that I would like for everyone to read, but actually take their time reading it, and it's the story of Hosea and Gomor, who Take the time reading the story and imagine yourself in the place of Gomor.

Speaker 1: 48:00

Gomor.

Speaker 2: 48:01

Yeah, and when you're reading it, imagine for a moment that you're Gomor and God is Hosea and sit with that.

Speaker 1: 48:13

Wow, Okay, I will. Actually, I'm going to read it and put myself in the place of I've never done. There's a lot of stories that I've never put myself in.

Speaker 2: 48:21

It's a must, and it changed the whole story.

Speaker 1: 48:25

The whole story changes in itself.

Speaker 2: 48:27

It changes your perspective and the word God is not going to forgive me. I've done something that's unforgivable. You realize that.

Speaker 1: 48:38

That's true. No, thank you, miriam again for coming today and sharing your story. Thank you, guys, for listening to us and we would like for you to comment and tell us what kind of temptation you go through and how did you deal with it. Also, comment what would you like to hear in the next episode. We will take the most liked comments and we will actually work on it to have a guest on that subject and work on it. Thank you again for listening to us and for the support and God bless, thank you.