1+1+1=1

Join Joe and Kelly as they discuss why in the bible 1 +1+1=1   No this is not common core math.  This is about God being at the center of your relationships and Him being the focus.  So even in marriage there are always three but they must be focused on the 1. 

They refer to a three fold cord and how a rope while made up of many strings is much stronger when they are woven together as 1. 

Join us as we discuss these things and more.

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Transcript

Kelly: [00:00:00] Welcome to the blessings on hope road podcast, where we talk about life, family, and what it all looks like through the lens of our walk with God. As we step into our calling is his children.

Welcome to episode 16. Um, one plus one plus one 

Joe: equals 

Kelly: one. 

Joe: One. Okay. And no, it's, we're not doing common core. This is a little bit of, well, For lack of a better way to put it this is a little bit of godly math Okay, so Ecclesiastes 412 Says the one may be overpowered by another two can withstand And a threefold cord is not [00:01:00] quickly Broken So, a three fold cord is not easily broken.

And it's kind of funny because, yes, there's three individual cords. Excuse me. Yeah, there's three individual cords. But, they're all woven together to make one cord. Right. So if I've got, and if you ever really, it's kind of neat. Excuse me, it's kind of neat. If you ever look at a rope and how it's made, it's literally a bunch of strands all woven together to make that one rope.

You don't say, Hey, go grab me those ropes and go pick up the one. It's when it makes the rope stronger and it makes the rope stronger. If you have one single strand, uh, yeah, it'll, it'll do some things, but you're not going to do much. Right. But every time you [00:02:00] add to it. It becomes stronger and stronger because it's not, it goes, it even goes back to what Christ was saying with, take my yoke upon you.

You're getting that when we're yoked with Christ, we are now no longer walking by ourselves and dealing with life ourselves. Literally the author of our faith is walking with us, right? Help us walk it. Same thing. So, and this is. We're bringing this up today to talk about the importance of our, of marriages, of really, excuse me, for lack of a, um, putting down a one specific thing.

I mean, this is the foundation of marriage, of any solid friendship, any good relationship. Um, man, where there is unity, there is blessing for sure. So, um, But the big thing [00:03:00] with this, the, the, the big part of this comes from, I know what was kind of stirred in my heart was marriage, right? And we tend to, there's a lot of stuff that wants to go at marriages.

Um, I want to say a lot of stuff that wants to go out. There's a lot of things aimed that put bullseyes crosshairs on marriages and try to tear them down. And we live in a nation now where I know we've talked about marriage before, but we live in a nation now where it's like. And people get married like people used to date Yeah, like it's let's get married.

Let's see how this works for a while and you know, I'm really not in love with you anymore So we're just gonna move on It doesn't It doesn't work like that. It does not work like that at all. There was actually there there's one point in Scripture Where Jesus is talking and he gets into a one of his many Um, confrontations [00:04:00] with the Pharisees and Sadducees, the wooden ke wooden seas and couldn't sees.

Um, that was a little joke there. Um, I was I 

Kelly: supposed to laugh at that? No. , 

Joe: no, I don't. If somebody's kind of new in their faith and walking in there, I don't want 'em to start looking up for wooden seasons and couldn't see and be like, I don't see where they are. I see the Pharisee is Sadducees. Who are these wooden seasons and Couldn sees?

Um, I say that jokingly because the law was blinding them so much they couldn't see what was right in front of them, which was the Messiah. Um, but Jesus is in one of his confrontations and they're talking about divorce and Jesus actually says, and this is strong and people don't want to hear this. It's a hard truth.

I didn't want to hear this at a time in my life, but Jesus said that except for basically except for cheating. Some form of sexual immorality in the marriage if a man divorces his wife He makes her [00:05:00] he actually says he makes her a victim of adultery Yeah So any other reason other than somebody catches the other sleeping around if there's any other reason you leave them Well, guess what any other and at that point at that point if there's a separation anybody that you engage in a relationship with from that point on Is an adulterous relationship.

Yeah. It doesn't matter. And look, those are the words of Jesus Christ. Those aren't the words of Joe or the thoughts or opinions. That is what Jesus said. And they brought that up. The Pharisees and Sadducees were like, well Moses granted us the certificate of divorce. And he basically goes on to say, Moses permitted that because of your hardness of heart.

But God never meant, when you enter into marriage, it is a covenant. It is not a casual relationship, and we lose that, but it's for our good. [00:06:00] A three chord, or a three fold chord is not easily broken. So we've got a husband, we've got a wife, where's that third chord? It's God. He's the center chord, and we're wrapped around Him.

So it's, what are your thoughts, what do you got, anything? No, you're just kind of sitting here. I'm just listening. Well, that's good. I like when you have input. Um, and if I do, 

Kelly: I'll speak it, you know, that 

Joe: same threefold, threefold, threefold,

but it, no, it, it. It is a serious thing and I think it, it breaks my heart because you see, and I, I didn't see it. I've only seen it as I've gotten a little bit older and a little bit more mature. Um, I look at relationships and I look at how people date [00:07:00] and I think really all this started when, when Ashlyn got a little bit older and you know, she said she had a boyfriend.

Yeah, glory to God. This is, it's pretty much been one and one and one only. So, but that's because that's because of some discussions that we've had. Um, and praise God you've had discussions with our daughter. Yes. Um, long before I even thought about that. Yes. I mean from dad's Mindset like we should just now be starting to have those talks.

Like, you don't, yeah, no, 

Kelly: you'd be a little late to the 

Joe: party there. Yeah. Surprise. Fashionably late. Um, but it wouldn't be fashionably, but it, but you see the way people date and you can see a pattern start to develop and it's like, well, no wonder we take these relationships so casually. No wonder even marriage isn't that big of a deal.

Why would it be? Especially [00:08:00] now. Yeah. I mean, now it's, we know from scripture, we know from God's original plan that a man and a woman are not supposed to sleep together until they are married. Yes. Um, and that's for good reason. You don't, I, I have heard plenty of people use very crude terminology in a sense of, you know, you have to test drive a car before you buy it for really the, Doug.

Guys. Look, I didn't say that I agree with it, but there was a time where my mindset was very similar. 

Kelly: And that's, unfortunately, that's our society today. Like there are all kinds of images and inappropriateness thrown in your face every day throughout the day. On everything, whether it be a phone or social media or movies, even kids movies, 

Joe: um, yeah, that that's the scary part.

That right there is 

Kelly: ridiculous. Like it's thrown in your [00:09:00] face. And so why do we think? There would be anything different because our society is just pushing it pushing it pushing it 

Joe: Yeah, this when we were just talking about that. It reminded me of a scripture and it's funny because I was sitting down here before We started and wrote down these scriptures, but as you were talking Another one popped in my head And I want to go I want to go to that scripture because it's really good It hits like a ton of lead but sometimes they need to

Because you were talking about you know Engaging in things pre marriage that you ought not to engage in and all these different things that society throws at us, you know, these images, all these different, like it's, and I am actually, I'm blown away because I can remember when I was younger, there's, Any type [00:10:00] of pornographic stuff was like, don't talk about that.

Like it was there, but you didn't talk about it. Right. But I just recently started to, in listening to some things, I didn't understand what they were talking about on these different, just listening to podcasts. And you hear people talk about how now a big thing that women are doing. Are starting my counts on these and I don't even want to say it because I don't even want to acknowledge it.

But it's not anything like it doesn't sound bad. Like when you hear it, it almost sounds like it's something related to sports. And I'm sitting there thinking to myself, like, what are they talking about? So I just listened a little bit longer because you could tell that they were going to go and explain.

And as they started to explain it, I was like, Oh, my gosh. Mm hmm. Like anybody can record themselves and throw it on [00:11:00] the end charge people. Yeah to watch it. Yeah My god in heaven what in the world? Yeah why and Flaunt it and and make a big deal of I'm rich now. I'm like Our society thinks this is good.

Yeah, like this is okay. What's the big deal? What is well? I'll tell you what the big deal is James 3. 15 This is what James said and I'm telling you that it Shoo this hits like a ton of lead Let's go back. I want to go back to 13 first and we'll read through 15 who is wise and understanding among you let him show By good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom But if you have bitter envy and self seeking in your hearts do not boast and lie against [00:12:00] the truth this Wisdom what wisdom the wisdom that you have from your bitterness and your self seeking.

Let me get some money Let me just think all this is this is all that type of wisdom does not descend from above But is earthly ready Sensual and demonic for where envy and self seeking exists, confusion and every evil thing are there. Woo. Yeah. But there is a word in there. Sensual. That word gets plugged in a lot.

Yeah. When it comes to intimate type things. Right.

James was the half brother of Jesus Christ. [00:13:00] He was the pastor of the church in Jerusalem. Pastor James knew a thing or two about godliness. He, just like the disciples, he walked, talked, breathed, lived, and lived life with Jesus Christ. He received the Holy Spirit, and right here he is saying that When you are self seeking, well, what are you doing when you're, when, when, like, when people are putting that stuff out there, they want attention.

Yeah. Because they want your money. They're going about things their way. And in our society, it's, it's perfectly normal. Absolutely. It's perfectly okay. But what James is saying here is that type of wisdom is demonic. Mm hmm. When I come from that angle, it says there's nothing but confusion and every evil thing is present.

I don't, and I hope, I want people as we talk about this, I want people to see that [00:14:00] there is an attack on marriages. Because if you can attack marriages and separate mom and dad, if you can separate husband and wife, well then the rest of the family becomes strained. Right. Because God ordered things in such a way that the husband is the spiritual leader, the spiritual head of the house.

The wife is the helpmate. She's beside the husband. Listen to me, gentlemen, you are not standing on your wife. Wives. You are not standing in front of your husbands. You're side by side. Yeah, you are side by side. And when it says before anybody listens to this and. Maybe again in the society that we're in while I'm a woman and I've got rights and I never said you didn't have rights Scripture never said you didn't have rights Jesus actually engaged in relationships with women that were very very uncommon for his culture He spoke with women.

He [00:15:00] treated them as equals. Yeah. He never treated a woman less than no, read

the story about the woman called an adultery. Please go read that one time and see what the rest of the men were looking to do to that poor woman and what Jesus did when he encountered that woman. But when I say that before, before you get upset, you have to understand the way God structured things. At the end of the day, the man is responsible for the well being of the family.

So, I have to answer one day. When I stand before God, I have to answer for my family. 

Kelly: Well, I mean, you go all the way back to Adam and Eve and that's why 

Joe: that's, I am so glad you went 

Kelly: there. Eve took the fruit off the tree, but he asked Adam, where were you? Because Adam was in [00:16:00] charge and was supposed to be watching out for everything.

He trusted Adam. Yeah. And Adam, I mean, Adam was always there with Eve. He was there. He didn't stop 

Joe: her. This is bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh. Yeah. And there was a responsibility there and Adam failed Eve. Yeah. God gave Adam the instruction do not eat of this tree.

And that's who he came to. Yep. You're absolutely 1000 percent correct. The serpent got in Eve's ear. Yeah. He got her to trade the truth for a lie. He fooled her. Yeah. She ate of the fruit. She gave to Adam to eat of the fruit. God did not say Eve. What have you done? No, 

Kelly: not at all. He 

Joe: asked Adam. He came in the garden Where are you Adam?

Where are you? Yep [00:17:00] Dang it. So gentlemen We have a weighty thing We have a weighty call on our lives And that's I think that's part of that is probably a huge part of my heart Yeah when it comes to this walk I desperately want men to understand there is nothing that breaks my heart more Than to know that men come to church and they just sit there like well, i'm not a pastor So I don't really know what i'm doing here.

I don't really have you know, they talk about people have a call Oh, you have a call if you're married you have a call. Yeah, if you have kids you have a call And even if you don't have kids, even if you're not married, you still have a call. But especially, especially if you are married, especially if you have kids, that means God has trusted you with that person's well being.[00:18:00] 

Kelly: I mean, think about all men. Okay. So when fathers used to go off to war, what did they say to their sons? You're now the man 

Joe: of the house. You're the man of the house. That's correct. That 

Kelly: is absolutely correct. Take care of everything. So, it's like, we've gotten it twisted as the years have come by. And not saying that I'm not capable of handling things.

Yes, I am but because 

Joe: God will work it will work in in through well, but in Joel he says in LA in the last days I'll pour out my flesh on also. Let's just go ahead and get that covered now, right? Like you he'll pour out his flesh on or his spirit on all flesh. Everybody man woman child does not matter He's pouring out a spirit.

We're living in that time. Yeah. When the Holy Spirit came, fell on the disciples and they were baptized in the Holy Spirit, they spoke in tongues. They went through that whole thing. That was the beginning of the Holy Spirit being poured out on all flesh. Right. But sorry, carry on. 

Kelly: It's okay. But it's not saying that I can't handle things, but as women, sorry, [00:19:00] ladies, um, emotions at times get the better of our judgment.

And we have to really make sure that we are praying to find out what we really need to do and not just act on those emotions. Where guys don't tend to have those emotions that get in the way as much as women 

Joe: do. You know, I actually, I heard something really good. It said that while we are different and I just actually, I just, I heard this yesterday.

It said while women live through emotion, men tend to live through opinion. That is true. And I, I never heard anybody say that before. When I heard it, I was like, dang, yeah, because the good, bad or indifferent look and I'm telling you right now, I know that there are some, but for the most part, just about every guy will be like, I don't care what anybody thinks about me.

You think whatever you want to think. I've been that and I are one, right? I have been that person that has said that. Yeah. But at the end of the day, when somebody has, if, if you, if you as my wife have a low opinion of me and there's not much [00:20:00] respect there. I already feel like I'm fighting an uphill fight, because the one person that I should be closest to in a human relationship does not respect me, does not hold a high opinion of me.

What am I like? You go inward and all of a sudden you become very insecure. Yeah, I know guys, we don't talk about this much, do we? But it's the truth. 

Kelly: We do. But let me just say something. Guys, if your wife isn't respecting you. Can you please make sure that you're not doing something stupid to not deserve that respect?

Yeah. 

Joe: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not. Yeah. Please don't misunderstand. 

Kelly: Please don't misunderstand. Like we are not saying like women, you should just ultimately respect your husband and you should respect your husband. He's got to be doing his part too. Sorry. 

Joe: No, you're right. You're absolutely right. Yeah. I didn't mean anything by that at all.

I was just merely stating that, you know, as a, as a guy, as a husband, man, if my wife, if you were in, look, I have a unicorn for a wife. [00:21:00] I don't have a wife who, and I can't, man, I'm telling you, this is, this is some stuff that it's literally, it's, it's miraculous. It is the proof of God at work in a relationship long before, uh, Both parties fully accept because one party fully accepted got at work.

I did not but my wife at my very worst she did not ever Nagged me She did not ever take anything I did And throw it in my face Just to hurt me and I don't know why she didn't because she had every real I know why she didn't but You didn't. No. I didn't. And you had every reason. I gave you hundreds of opportunities, it seemed like a day, to just get after me and hate me.

And you didn't. No. I just didn't like it. And it is only, it is [00:22:00] only the love of God that does that. That doesn't make sense. 

Kelly: Yeah. It wasn't going to make anything better. It was just going to make my life worse. So. 

Joe: But we have to be able to look at it. But I wasn't coming from the angle of guys, you know, you're always perfect.

Ladies get it together. That's not, it is a mutual thing. And whenever you read it in scripture, it's always, it is always both sides of the story. You never, so in first Peter. Peter says, Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, and when they observe your chaste conduct, accompanied by fear,

sorry, that they may be won by the [00:23:00] conduct of their wives when they observe your chaste conduct, accompanied by fear. The fear of what? The fear of your husband? No, the fear of the Lord. That literally, that scripture right there, and I didn't even know that that was going to work that well off of what I was just describing.

Um. With how you carried yourself, it was your conduct, it was, it was your, and I'm not saying that you're the reason I came to Christ, but I saw, I knew once, I didn't realize it when we were going through it, but it was after we popped out the other side together that I looked back on that part of our time, our marriage, and I said, my God, my wife was showing me living, breathing evidence of the love of Christ every single day.

And I didn't even realize it, and it broke, that truth broke me. Yeah. Ultimately. That was a big reason that I, I mean, you want to talk about humbled and that's exactly what it was right there is you continue to live according to God's standard and not the [00:24:00] standard that you felt you deserve to live by.

Kelly: Yeah. But a higher one. Yeah. And you have to put that into perspective. Like, yeah, we lived through some stuff and ladies, it was not easy. It was a living hell for me. Um, but. I knew God's promise to me, and I knew that he was there because I invited him to our wedding. I invited him into our marriage, and I was willing to do what God told me to do, even though I didn't want to at one point, I was willing to do what God told me to do.

And you're right, there were days I didn't like you, but I never hated you. While I got very upset with you, I never hated you because I knew there was something that was taking hold of your life and I knew it was evil and you could see it, you could just see it and feel it. Um, [00:25:00] but that's where prayer comes in.

So. 

Joe: Yeah. And unbeknownst to you, unbeknownst to me, there was a small army of people that were praying that were in fact praying and 

Kelly: they didn't even know why. And they didn't know why. And because I did not put out there all of our troubles and all of our issues. It was very quiet when it actually came out, when you got clean, people were.

Blown away and we're like, no, there's a life. No, they're not. You didn't live in our house. You don't know what my family went through. Um, man, 

Joe: I was very good at laughing everything off and just kind of being the fun loving guy out and about. And there were 

Kelly: some people like my mom, my mom knew something was going, like she could just sense, but that's because of the life that she grew up in and the childhood that she had, she knew that something was going on.

Um, but didn't. Yeah. Like, wouldn't question me was like, no, I know, like my daughter can handle it, whatever. 

Joe: [00:26:00] Um, and it's not understand. I didn't, I didn't go home and hit everybody in my family with right hooks. No, no. And kick people down the steps and No. And drop elbows like, it, it, there was no physical.

But look, I, I, I also don't say that to downplay and try to make better what I did do, because what I didn't do physically, I tried to do verbally. Yeah. Uh, I was an angry s o b. Yes. I was angry at everybody and everything and I hated any sort of compassion. I couldn't stand it. 

Kelly: No, the words that came out of your mouth at times.

I always remember like when Ashlyn was little and I was teaching her about words, you know, there's a thing that you do that, you know, if you take a, you take a small toothpaste and you squeeze it out and you're like, you know, those are all the nasty words that you're spewing out of your mouth. Now, try to get them back in to the tube.

Well, guess what? You can't get those. You can't take those back So any of those words that you said like they were there they they leave [00:27:00] scars Yeah, and it's about taking the time and God healing those scars. 

Joe: Yeah, we actually talked about that On the way home me you and 

Kelly: Ashlyn. Yeah, we did. Yeah so but it's like, you know, you have to realize that Um, your words have weight and we've talked 

Joe: about this power of life and death are in the tongue.

Yes. We 

Kelly: just talked about this like when I say like, you would come home when Ashlyn was a baby and. You would literally just pop your head around and she would scream bloody murder. I am NOT joking ladies. 

Joe: Yes Just real quick to interject. So if you think opinions don't matter to men even in my Heathen and I mean completely self centered existence When my daughter would do that it devastated me.

Yeah, it literally was like a [00:28:00] two month old infant that would start screaming in the second I walked into the room and It devastated me and it made me angrier and it just, it drove me further down that tunnel. Sorry, go ahead. It 

Kelly: did. Opinions matter. She did. She knew. She felt, but she's always had like a very connected 

Joe: side.

She's spiritually sensitive. 

Kelly: She is very spiritually sensitive. Um, and she knew and that's honestly, for those that don't know, I would not, when I went to work, Joe was not the one watching my child on a weekend. 

Joe: No, but no, no, you don't have to apologize. I was by 

Kelly: myself. I was not leaving my child with him.

Um, 

Joe: which again just drove me further down 

Kelly: that it did. It unfortunately did, but I couldn't, I couldn't, she wouldn't. I'm glad you didn't. And I mean, she was what like two and we were at a, I was at a away competition and they had come with me. 

Joe: Oh my [00:29:00] gosh, when we were in Florida and Orlando, 

Kelly: and I had to go to the ring and he was, and by that time it was better, like I could leave her with him.

So I thought it was a little bit better, but not much. So I thought, and while I was at the competition, like she threw a fit and was crying so much. She was throwing up, like it was not good. And he was like, Nope, we're going to the rink with you next time. 

Joe: Yeah, that was one. I learned that lesson very quickly.

I was like, I can't and I didn't know what it was. I had no idea why my daughter was reacting that way at all. I didn't get mad. Oh my Lord, get mad at her. But all that to say again, you can see the attack. Yeah. on the family. Yeah. I never set out to be like that. I didn't, when the day I said I do and you said I do, I never thought to myself, I can't wait to make your life hell.

No, you couldn't 

Kelly: wait to have 

Joe: kids. But yet here I was in this place where I had a wife and I had kids and I was trying to destroy them. Yeah. Unknowingly. Yeah. Why? [00:30:00] Because evil got in. Yep. Things were out of balance. Yeah, absolutely. So, we just read that word about, you know, wives, likewise, be submissive to your husbands, but fellas, guess what?

We're not off the hook either. Husbands, a little bit later in verse 7, Peter says this, Husbands, likewise, dwell with them, talking about your wife, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel. And as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

Now, that short little verse is packed full of nuggets. Packed full of nuggets and again, I'm going to go in because there's so much terminology and if people would just catch their breath for a second and stop looking for a reason to be offended, because I guarantee you if there were any, if there was a feminist right now who heard that verse, they they're stacked just blue, weaker vessels, [00:31:00] they're literally talking about the physical stature of women as opposed to the male or to the stature of men.

Yeah. It's the physical statute. I'm sorry. We're bigger. We are stronger. We are faster because God created us to protect you and care for you. So stop looking for reasons to be offended for the love of God. Calm down for a minute. If you would stop and see God structured everything for your good. 

Kelly: And ladies, that's not to say that you're not strong because it's not 

Joe: that you're not, but I'm sorry.

I don't. If I need to go cut down a tree in the woods, I'm not going to go get my wife and daughter and say, Hey, let's go cut this tree down. Instead. We need to haul it out of here. Yeah. I'm going to call a couple of fellows and say, look, let's go get it. It's not to say that we're better than you 

Kelly: know, but you were, there are certain things that I cannot do physically.

And that's not because of. My weight, that's not because of my [00:32:00] size. It's not, it's just, I'm not meant to, I'm not meant to carry that burden for that. And you are, so there are things that I ask you to do that I'm like, this is not for me. That's for you. 

Joe: So it's, but yeah, so just calm down. If, if you heard that and thought to yourself, I'm just as strong as any man.

Okay, whatever you 

Kelly: got to do, go ahead. And I know where a lot of people will go to and that's with the submissive. So women be submissive to their husbands. Husbands, that doesn't mean that you are to take over and overrule your 

Joe: wife. Like... This is... Yeah. Go. Because what you're going... You're, you're scratching at something really 

Kelly: good.

Yeah. That doesn't mean that you are to just use that against your wife and she has to do everything that you say. No, no, no, no, no. That doesn't work that way. You are a team and, but ladies, you have to listen. Like they have good judgment. 

Joe: Ready? Okay. This is where God has to be in the center of the relationship.

Yes. 

Kelly: Yeah, because if he's not, if [00:33:00] he is 

Joe: not, it's not always be that, that if, if, if this were to be, if you were to put marriage on a scale and have the husband on one side and the wife on the other, that scale will always be out of balance. Yes. If God is not in the center of it, but God perfectly balances and there is even, even in that, like everything, you know, you've got father, son, and Holy spirit.

From the very beginning, it was the three of them. God said, let us make man in our image. Like they were, they've always been present. It's always people have trouble having, grabbing a hold of that. I don't, that's not this episode. Maybe a different episode. We'll grab a hold of that. Um, but everything it's always there.

So a marriage needs to be a husband, a wife. And God and God, but that relationship also consists of three different parts It consists of husband wife and relationship. Then you break that cord down within those within those cords There's the wife's relationship [00:34:00] with Christ the husband's relationship with Christ and then our relationship together With Christ the time we spend praying So see there's there's all these little strands that when you start to dig into it They all have to work together to make that strong cord that is not easily broken.

And I'll even take it a step further than what Solomon was talking about, in that when you have a wife who is dedicated and submitted to God, when you have a husband who is dedicated and submitted to God, because men we have a role to submit to, we have to submit to Christ. When that is in place, and then we are submitting to each other, I dare to say that that becomes a marriage that is pert near impenetrable.[00:35:00] 

There's not much the enemy can do with that. When you, when the husband and the wife are both walking with Christ, seeking Christ, individually and together. Yeah. There is not much you're gonna do. That is a couple that has been galvanized. Yeah. Together. And that's a beautiful thing. And I, it, I don't usually try to brag.

Or try to sound arrogant or try to come off cocky, but I'm telling you you and I have walked through hell We have and we have learned and I don't say that again. We talked about the valley last time But I don't I don't live in the valley. I don't glorify the valley I speak of the valley because i've been through valleys.

I understand valleys and i'm sure there'll be valleys ahead, but I don't care I'm not worried about the valleys. My eyes are on my 

Kelly: God. And I know 

Joe: that. Yeah, I have somebody beside me who's doing the same thing. She's looking out for my best interest. I'm looking out for her best interest. And we're both looking at God, knowing [00:36:00] that He's looking out for our best interest.

Like, it does not get any better than that. It just doesn't. But when Peter is talking about that stuff When he says that we are to live with understanding how many men do you hear? Say women and I have said this I still say this sometimes like women are just confusing creatures sometimes Like you just literally don't and I'm look I'm gonna share this because my wife and I we joke we have joked about this since It has happened Okay.

We have joked about it. I'm going to share this now with everybody. So, but I don't know where this is. You don't, but you'll be able to laugh about it. Cause it's not like anything like super personal, but like, I don't know, maybe three weeks ago you had had something that kind of like it got you. I can't even remember what it was, but it was just something you were, we were going throughout the day.

You sent me a text message and you were kind of worked up about it and you were like, I just needed to vent. I don't really need a response. So carry on. And I was like, Okay. [00:37:00] I just sent back because I mean, this was a, for my wife, this was a long text message. Yeah. I don't do long text messages. Like I read through it and at the very late, the very end of it, the literally the last line was, okay, I'm better now.

Don't need a response. Just needed to vent. And I sent back understood with a smiley face. My wife's response to that was. Well, that's it. I expected a little bit more of a response. Now, wait a minute. You said it. I just sent the understood to let you know I got the text and I read it. 

Kelly: Well, I can see that because it says delivered, sent, and read.

Joe: Well, I didn't know that your phone showed that. So I sent back understood to try to be a good communicator and say got it, read it, [00:38:00] check. And my wife says, well, I expected a little bit, I followed your instruction. And now 

Kelly: aren't you reading my mind yet? 

Joe: So fellas, sometimes we get in these spots with ladies, but it goes back to what Kel was saying.

Women are, they deal with a lot of emotion. They do. Yeah. They deal with a whole lot of emotion. That's how life largely. Is viewed and walked out with ladies. It's through emotion. Yeah, guys. Ours is Tasking and getting stuff done being problem solvers and what people think of us. Yeah What's their opinion?

But you know, it's 

Kelly: funny. Maybe it's just me because I am different than a lot of women. Sorry I just am I'm very task oriented and about getting stuff done so I [00:39:00] tend to try to push my emotions down and keep them down, but when it blows, it 

Joe: blows. But see, because you're a, because you're a woman and that's the way you're wired, that volcano always erupts.

It always erupts. And when it does, God in heaven. I know. Batten down the hatches. No, it's okay because we're able, see we're able to laugh about it and we're laughing now, we don't always laugh. We don't always laugh about it. But it's, you brought up a very good point. Like, all this goes back to, it's the reason, the man, it's the reason God ordained the man to lead the relationship.

We're to look, we're to live with you with understanding. We're to honor you. And as we do that, we don't just make decisions and ladies, don't misunderstand that. When it says to submit to your husbands, it pleases God. Being submissive to your husband does not mean. That you don't have a [00:40:00] say yeah, it doesn't mean that like kelly was saying whatever flies out of your husband's mouth You just have to go.

Okay. Yeah It's not that at all What it means is you talk through things and ultimately whatever decision your husband comes to You say I trust that you're hearing from god. I trust that you're submitting to what he says and I trust you Yeah, and 

Kelly: you support him and understand when I was younger I heard that at a wedding, you know It was actually said at the wedding, the pastor who was marrying the couple actually said, you must be submissive to your husband.

And I was like, what? Like it, I was like, I was like, no way. Like that. Because I totally misunderstood the word at the time, right? I was young. It didn't make sense to me. And I was like, no, and I was taught to be strong, you know? And I am, I am strong in my own right, but not strong in the way that you are.

And we compliment each other. And [00:41:00] that's the thing you and I have worked through a lot of stuff. And we, with God in our lives and with us both having God as the center, we compliment each other very well. And we're a team and that's, that's what people need to really, we 

Joe: are a team. And that's, that, that's, and ultimately that's, that's the way God meant it to be.

Yeah. It's, we do. We, we, we're, you're bone in my bone, flesh in my flesh, we're one in the same, but we're two sides of the same coin. Yeah. Because there are things, and we've talked about that on here, there are things that you see and perceive through the way God made you, and the discernment that God's given you that I don't pick up on, and there are things vice versa that I pick up on, see, and perceive that you don't, but it always complements.

We are, we're always learning and it, I don't want, I feel like it's just this thing that becomes a problem. Like, uh, there are some times ladies feel like they have to [00:42:00] be a leader. They have to have a role just as big as her husband. They have to have all this insecurity gets the better of them. And it's, it's this, well, what about me?

And especially within the body of Christ, it's like, well, I gave up stuff too. And I'm walking with the Lord and I'm doing, you know, I need a role. I need all this. Okay. I, that's not to say that you don't have any of it. But, if it, what did that say? What did the scripture in James say? That becomes self seeking and that wisdom is earthly, sensual, and demonic.

Like, you have to, and guys, it's the same thing. If you're not submitted to Christ and you're trying to use and manipulate your role and your authority in the house in such a way that you get everything the way you want it, that wisdom is earthly, sensual, and demonic. It's no different. It is no different.

But we have to be able to come together to look at Christ and say, He is the [00:43:00] ultimate authority over both of us. It's what he says. It's what he wants, not what I say and what I want. And gentlemen, I'm going to go ahead and throw this humdinger out there for you one time. If you are not submitted to Christ, don't you dare get mad because your wife is not submitted to you.

Yeah. Because you are expecting her to do something that you refuse to do. And that doesn't work like that. It does not. No, not at all. She won't do what I say. She won't respect me. She won't. Are you respecting Christ? Yeah. Are you walking according to the way Christ meant for this to look? You're not. So how?

That's called a hypocrite. And we all will have at one point or another whether we meant to or not. And I'm saying this from a place of of meekness in the sense of I have a strength but I also understand that it needs to be controlled but I also understand I've been there myself. Yeah. And I've done it myself and I have to constantly put my heart in check and say, okay, is where I'm coming from right now, what's best for my family [00:44:00] or am I looking for what Joe wants?

Yeah. Because it's not hard to cross over into that spot. Oh, it's not. It's not hard at all. But and again, emotions can run high sometimes. Yeah. And going back to what you were saying, Kelly, it's not, and this might be a little bit much, but. There's one time, if you're still, if you're listening to this, ladies, I mean no disrespect like this.

I say this just to maybe put a different angle on it. You know, you all are tough. Ladies are tough. You have to go through childbirth. That goes back to Adam and Eve. Yeah. God said that was part of the punishment. Like, you will experience pain in childbirth now. Yeah. But through that pain in childbirth, there'll be blessing.

With that, women understand a pain that men don't. I will never give birth to a child, praise God. I don't have to endure that. You don't want to. I have a high threshold of pain. Yeah. I [00:45:00] don't know that I would want to test that threshold in that arena. Yeah. But with that, there are things that are unique to women.

Yes. And this is where I'm going. So there is a, about a week stretch on a monthly basis. That those emotions and hormones and thoughts turn into a ping pong ball and they go all over the place because you're dealing with all kinds of stuff. God was not ignorant to that. He designed things to be that way.

He designed your bodies to operate that way. So therefore he also, are you really going to set out and have somebody be responsible? For the well being of their family, when one week every month they're fighting just to not be overly emotional with everything. Did you ever stop to think that God looked at it and said, that [00:46:00] really wouldn't be fair to hold them responsible.

They've got enough on their plate dealing with that. Men, peace be with you, but it's on us. It is on us. And I don't, I don't say any of this. I really don't. Like, I can look at the unique characteristics of men and women and husbands and wives and see where, man, only God could do this. Only God. And we're not, I don't, I didn't, again, this is somebody who is, I was an atheist.

I did not like. God, I did not like Christians, I actively made fun of them. 

Kelly: You set out to make jokes about them. 

Joe: Cause I thought they were weak. Every day. I thought they were weak little punks. Yeah. Faith was a crutch. You could not accept reality for what it was. Life is survival of the fittest. You don't know how to accept that.

You don't know how to live that out. So you have to create this little God and this little faith [00:47:00] to try to get you through life. Life you poor little thing. 

Kelly: My, how the tables have turned. 

Joe: How the turntables. But that's literally, I didn't realize that I was the one that was denying all of that because I couldn't deal with it.

Yeah. So what do you do? You create your own little reality in your mind. But yeah, but now you look at it and you're like, oh my gosh, God, only God could do this. Yeah. Because we are polar opposites in so many arenas. Yeah, we are. I mean, it's, I mean, there are certain things that we do, um, naturally agree on.

Yeah, but there are a lot of things that we don't. But there are so many things because we grew up so differently. We did. So very differently. I mean, you got, you got spanked one time. [00:48:00] 

Kelly: Which is interesting because my, my parent, my dad, you know, had to go pick his own twitch. 

Joe: But yeah, he had to go pick his own, it's a switch, not a twitch.

A twitch is something you have when you're, anyway, um, but yeah, I didn't, and it's funny. It's funny because you said that like we never the word spank did not exist in my house No, and I don't say that because wow joe never got in. Oh, no in my house. It was whooped That's what it was called. You want me to whoop you?

Yeah, keep going Make me go get the paddle. Yeah My parents were not like that. Yeah, it's but we're different. We're drastically different but when god When god becomes the center Mm hmm of a relationship And it doesn't have to just be we're focused mainly on marriage, but I mean, this is any relationship any friendship and that debate and that maybe that's important to touch on [00:49:00] because we were friends first.

We were we knew each other. Yeah. I mean, it's not like we hung out, but now we were friends. We had known each other for a while. And then for a couple of years, things kind of progressed and you were dumb enough to date me. 

Kelly: And to marry you. Lady, that's just a joke. 

Joe: Talking about glutton for punishment. It is, it's just a joke.

It is just a joke. But, when God became the center of it, he took two completely different people from different backgrounds and made a really strong cord. Yeah. A really strong cord. So, wherever you are in your marriage, um, man, I implore you. And seek God, seek God first, seek him in everything. And it's not selfish for you to tell, to go to your spouse and say, look, I need to get myself together.

Yeah. And I need to seek God. [00:50:00] I need to start this walk and maybe you'll be the only one walking with God. If you're a husband, that's amazing. If you're the husband and you are making the decision right now to walk with God. Be encouraged and know that you're going to see things start to line up in such a way that it's going to leave you a mess.

Yeah. When he starts really digging in and doing what he wants to do in your life and in your family's life, I am telling you, he is the God of the impossible. Yeah. he

restored our marriage. We were done. We were toast. We were done. I did not have any relationship with my son. My relationship with my daughter was fractured at best. Yeah. Um, she was terrified of me. Yeah. And now here we are in a, almost it'll be 20 years in May that we have been married. Yeah. And I, I'm telling you, only God can do what's been done in [00:51:00] our marriage because it's, I'm telling you, and all it took was a decision to put him first.

Yeah. It took, I showed up to the party late. Yeah, my wife was trying to do that, but yeah, I was a little rebellious, just a tad bit encouraged. And if you're the wife, man, don't forget that scripture that we started with in Peter, that as you submit and as you give yourself to God and follow his instruction and walk in the fear of the Lord.

Uh, God can and will use your conduct to work on the heart of your husband. Yeah. And I'm telling you, as far as kids go, it doesn't matter how far or how rung up your kids are, how far down a road you think they may be. When mom and dad start to line up with God's plans and purposes, the kids, you'll learn the kids want to follow.

They're looking for that stability and that consistency. And when you start to show it. [00:52:00] I'm telling you, the kids will, it doesn't happen right away, but the kids will come running. Mm-hmm. they will, I promise you. And he's still, he's working these things out. And I am not coming from a place of altogether like it, it's, no.

He's literally, right now, the relationships in my life, he's still, like in the last 24 hours, he's restoring things that I had just come to a place of, having a piece of understanding that the way things were were just the way they were gonna be. Right. And there was nothing I could do about it as much as it hurt my heart.

And it is what it is, but, 

Kelly: but he, and that's the important part, like ladies, if your marriage is struggling, don't give up, continue to pray. 

Joe: No fight, fight for everything you have no idea. 

Kelly: He made us warriors for a reason. So fight and fight with God in your corner. Cause if you do that. 

Joe: It'll work out [00:53:00] if we can learn to fight for each other and stop fighting against each other.

Yes. It is. I'm telling you it is. Jai. And I know things can be hard, things can be scary, but we are not, God is not, think about this. What in the world kind of God would we serve if he brought us into a covenant where you're meant to fight each other and duke it out? Yeah. And whoever comes out on top, well, that's the dominant one.

That's not, that's not, that is wretched. God didn't institute marriage to look like a Roman gladiator fight. 

Kelly: Although I know sometimes it might feel like that if you're in a marriage that everybody's not 

Joe: focused on God. It may very well feel like that. I'm sure it felt like that for a that. 

Kelly: Yeah. I don't 

Joe: ever want to go back to that.

But know and understand there is nothing God can't do. I can't remember what scripture, and I think it's in Jeremiah 3, God, God says, behold, I am the [00:54:00] Lord of all flesh. Is there anything too hard for me? Just so you know, that's a rhetorical question that God was asking. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's nothing too hard from him for him.

You have to understand and God exists out aside We try to think of God through the lens of time space Things like God exists outside of that. He has to otherwise he could have never created it, right? So there's nothing impossible for him. No, not at all. Press in, don't give up. You need to understand that your breakthrough is on the other side of your pressing in.

Yeah. If you're in that valley, like we talked about on the last episode, do just that. Walk. It says, yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. If you're going there, I think there's a, I think there was actually a country song. It actually said, if you're going through hell, keep going.

Like, keep, keep walking. Keep going. Don't stop. If it's painful, don't just sit down and give up. [00:55:00] Yeah. Keep walking, keep your eyes focused on God, because I am telling you, He will do miraculous things. He wants your marriage to thrive. He wants your family to thrive. And He wants you, when you come out on the other side, to tell everybody about how good He is.

And how much He has for His people, because He always has the best for His people. So husbands, wives, seek God. Let Him be the very center strand. Of your marriage. Of your threefold cord. You, your spouse, and your creator. Let him intertwine that and watch what happens. I promise you, you will not be disappointed.

You will not. So. If you have any questions or comments, Let us know, blessings at hope, blessings on hope road. I'm going to get that right one day. Blessings on hope road at gmail. com. You can find [00:56:00] us on Facebook, Instagram. We don't have any other social media just yet. Um, our website is up and running blessings on hope road.

com. Yeah. I just said the email address, I think. Yeah, you did. Work ahead. Okay, I started thinking as I was talking like did I give the website for the email address instead of vice versa? No You guys so but yeah, let us know if there's something you want to hear us discuss we would be more than happy and Yeah, just please reach out like share Talk to us.

Let us know. We like to interact and we're hoping this thing is going to grow to a point to where one day maybe just maybe we will have like a phone line plugged into this thing and we can take some phone calls. That's going to be crazy, but I'm looking forward to it. Um, for sure, because I love interacting with people.

It is so much fun. Um, but until it's been so much fun. The next episode, you guys seek God, know that we are praying for you [00:57:00] and we love you. We will see you next time. 

Kelly: Thanks for listening to the blessings on hope road podcast. If you'd like to support the show, click on the link in the description, and don't forget to follow the show to get notifications whenever there's new content.