Inside the Strange Mind of Mikel Arteta: Win the PL With This One Weird Trick?

In this thrilling preseason episode of Football Yanks, hosts Ryan and Derek dive into the whirlwind of transfer activities and strategic maneuvers shaping the upcoming Premier League season. Despite not being a regular starter internationally, they spotlight a talented 24-year-old Portuguese player with immense potential to elevate a stacked team with his versatility and proven winning mentality in the Premier League. As the excitement for the new season builds, the duo explores Tottenham's intriguing new signings, including a dynamic Swedish midfielder and a speedy South Korean winger, alongside a shift in the club's spending strategy.

Ryan and Derek also delve into the tactical intricacies and potential pitfalls their favorite team might face, especially against the defending champions. They meticulously scrutinize the performance and potential of several standout players, such as Sanchez, Ugochukwu, Madueke, and Guiu, providing the audience a deep understanding of their impact. They also assess the influence of fresh faces like Nico Jackson, Samu Omorodion, and a potential Victor Osimhen signing.

Adding a layer of intrigue, the hosts recount a curious tale of professional pickpockets at a team dinner orchestrated by Mikel Arteta, using it as a metaphor for the high-stakes world of professional football. The conversation sways from discussing Arsenal's title prospects to Chelsea's hopes against powerhouse Manchester City, weighing in on critical positions and player formations.

With engaging insights into various club activities, financial considerations, and the specifics of squad depth, this episode promises to keep football enthusiasts on the edge of their seats. Ryan and Derek cap off the discussion by warmly encouraging listeners to join the Football Yanks community on Discord and share in the passion for the beautiful game.

Tune in for an episode brimming with analysis, predictions, and a hint of humor that only the Football Yanks can deliver!

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Transcript

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Everybody, this is the football Yanks podcast for the week of August 12. Got Ryan and Derek here this week. No, Luke, he's, I think from instagram. I think he's off on a lake somewhere in the midwest on a pontoon boat, probably inebriated, as you might have been able to figure out on your own. But we're here and that means you're going to be subjected to hearing about all 45 to 47 players currently on Charles roster in deep detail, as well some transfers related there and elsewhere in the Premier League. We'll talk a little bit about Tottenham's incomings. We'll talk, for some reason more because I made a mistake of bringing it up, Ryan's disdain for the Olympics and anything that's supporting America and. Yeah, and then just some, some more ramblings on things going on the Premier League and, and elsewhere. We're going to cover a bizarre story about Mikael Arteta, too, so stick around for that. That's at the end of the episode. It is. It is really strange stuff. It's going to raise some eyebrows. No pun intended. Yeah, we do take a look at a few other clubs, transfers, but yeah, big, big episode, lots of info, pretty dense. We'll be back. We're american, but we're talking about soccer here. Hosts Derek Ryan and Luke are all football fanatics tracking our fellow yanks in the EPL and abroad. Enjoy today's episode. What's up, man? How's your weekend been? How are things going? Good. Just watching some Olympic finals. Shout out to both the us men's and women's basketball teams for beating France. As expected, France folded. Having. Having, you know, Rudy behind the bench and present for both games probably helped. And, yeah, Draymond would agree with me, so. But now actually pretty, pretty cool to see. I don't know if you saw any, but Steph Curry probably had, I don't know, in my opinion, the best, you know, Olympic finals performance in men's basketball history. Durant got his fourth gold. So good to see those guys win. And what was, you know, both of those were actually close games. The women's game was really close to us. Pull it out today, so. And then on top of that, yeah, we can talk about the us women's soccer team final as well. But, yeah, just been watching sports. How about you? Just kind of hanging out? I'm in the middle of a. I'm in the middle of a proposal at work, so. Oh. I know how much you enjoy those. Yeah. You and I have talked about this a lot, but the us government has a, it's basically a hazing process where if you do work on behalf of the government, they, they sort of like, fuck with you for months, where they indicate, they signal that they're going to drop a proposal and that gives whatever company you work for an opportunity to just have you keep working on this. This meaningless thing that, like, any number of arbitrary things can happen to, like, they could delay it, they could cancel it, they could change everything about it. They can cut work from it, like, in that. In that, like. But that's why BD gets all the budget money, right? So. But then, like, they will eventually drop it. So the reason that, like, the BD people who, who get away with doing basically nothing day to day, they will come in and be like, you got to start writing. You got to start writing this proposal is because the government drops it and they're like, all right, you have 30 days to turn this, like, hundreds of pages document around on your technical proposal for this work. And then they award billion dollar programs that way with a 30 day turn. Seems like the right way to handle it. Yeah, there's a reason to over prepare, but also just the whole process is stupid. So, anyway, I mean, we think that one is gonna drop in like a week. So I've been spending a lot of time prepping for that. I just assume if I don't hear or see you, you're working on proposals. If I don't hear or see Luke, he's somewhere in bum. Yeah, no, we don't even. We haven't even heard from Luke. No, he did. No, no, he responded when I sent him a picture of, like, a single barrel release. He replied with, like, a one three sentence question or three, but that never followed up on the conversation and went silent again. Yeah, I think he's hanging out with family again. I don't know. Yeah, I see a lot of pictures of him on pontoon boats on Instagram. So I think you're right. I just. My family listens to this, or at least some subset of it, and I. Can tell that the listeners think that Luke is fairly unhinged, and I don't know what would give them him impression. Well, I was going to say, I can't imagine spending the amount of time that Luke spends with his family, with my family. Like, it's crazy. And they. It's not like they live here. That's barely even a meaningful statement for the know you and know your family. But I cut myself off there. Yeah. All right, well, so I also managed to watch the inter Milan Chelsea final. Preseason, $7 or VPN. I paid. I paid the cash for it anyways. Yeah. Especially while I'm being recorded. I definitely paid for it. But yeah. So we could talk about that. I guess we can talk about the Olympics. Some people did some stuff there and got medals, as Derek alluded to. And then, yeah, I pulled up the entire Chelsea squad, sort of as it stands right now, because there's been signings since I pulled this and I thought we could go through and discuss what we think might happen here. You know, I also pulled up the rules on loans because you mentioned that there's going to be a lot of loans going out, but there, there are serious limits on, on the amount of loaning that, that teams can do. As far as I'm aware, there is no enforcement of rules in the Premier League for, for the top half teams. So I don't know. Oh, yeah, we could, we could talk about that. I also. I have some, there's an interesting story about Arteta that maybe you saw. I don't know. I saw it. So I thought we could, we could talk through that real quick, but let's kick it off with the boring shit and talk about the Olympics. So what happened? Give me your. How's that for a preface right there? So the. I don't care about the Olympics. I don't know if we've driven that home to the list. Us women defeated Brazil in the final. What the hell do we beat Germany in the semifinal that went to extra time. That was a very close game. But yeah, I mean, ultimately that Brazil game was also very, very highly contested. Brazil had a lot of good chances. Nayer had to stand on her head a couple of times and make saves that probably nobody else in the world could have. And yeah, just a great team performance. Interestingly, Corbin Albert of notoriety earlier in the, in the year this podcast started this game and had the game winning assist, interestingly enough, and played a great game. So she's back in the, kind of had to earn her way back into the fold. She wasn't just gifted it like one. Enzo was just gifted the captaincy after, you know, washing his hands of, you know, Argentina's sins over the last six decades. And so anyways, you know, it'll be interesting to see how that, that team dynamic continues to evolve, but us is back on top, which is great to see and looks the part by and large. And again, it's kind of like this fairytale start for Emma Hayes in coming to the us team, a job that she was kind of a passion project for. She's come out and talked a lot about how meaningful it was to win the gold medal with the United States and represent the US. And so it's good, you know, good story to see there as well, this team to come together and get one with her. So, yeah, that was the. That was probably the last time we have to talk about the Olympics on this. This podcast, so that's good. Yeah. And just to be clear, I don't care about any Olympics. We do. We do. Yeah. Now, I was going to say we are from. We're going to firmly beat China on metal counts despite them just actively doping in every event. So. I don't know. I like it when we beat them. Even a gold medal maybe. I don't know. I'd go, they win a lot of meaningless shit. I mean, you got 16 trillion people and you just throw at it, you know, it's like they're. You know, they're winning. Shit. I had to go through and look at the list because I'm like, what the hell are they winning? It's like, okay, well, badminton. They. Two medals. Like, okay, fine. Like, yeah, I do hate china more than I hate the Olympics, so that's good. That's good. Yeah. I figured that was the only way I could position any of this, but, yeah, Olympics. Olympics, I think, are close to wrapping up. I don't know, but the meaning of. Stuff that I want. I think today's the last day. I think it's. It. Yeah, yeah. I marked that on my calendar. It's the final day that I have to listen to any of this for four years. I guess there's the Winter Olympics. Do people get into that? Hockey? Yeah, I guess. Hockey. I'll watch it. The root against Russia. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Congrats to the us women and to Emma Hayes. That is quite a turnaround, considering how toothless we looked in the World cup. Women's World cup. So it's good to put that behind us and start to move forward. Yeah. And we've talked a bit, like, quite a bit about the changing of the guard with the us women's team. Yeah. And so, yeah. Just a, like, feather in the cap of the young us women's team. What do you want to tackle next? The. Like, we could. We could talk. I assume that you didn't watch the Chelsea Milan game. Yeah, it was a bit too much effort, both in terms of coinage or otherwise. I did research this morning and I was like, all right, well, yeah, I guess they don't want me watching this. I would say they like the Community shield. I don't need to watch it. Yeah. My understanding is that if you live in the UK, you had to pay to see any of the matches. Like, the. Them being played on peacock or whatever it was, was exclusive to the us audience. So we've even had it better than, like, Chelsea fans abroad. But, yeah, that is a little. A little wacky to be charging. What, what was it, $7? Yeah. For one preseason game. Yeah, and we've talked about that. Yeah. The whole. The revenue structure for some of the stuff is not. Is not great, especially for us. But, yeah, it's weird when you think about, like, in the UK, them having to pay to watch all these friendlies for their home team or home teams. Yeah. But I mean, at the end of the day, they're not competitive matches or not intended to be, so I guess that's why it's not prioritized for them. Yeah. Yeah. I don't. I don't love it. Obviously, that's a lot to ask for. So if you put it in the context of. I think I paid$7 for that and I think some streaming subscriptions are $7. Like, if you get the ad supported Hulu, that might be around what it is for a month. Yeah. It's not reasonable for casual fans. Yeah, pretty, pretty crazy. It was an entertaining match. We got to see Kukureya at the left, inverting from the left. We got to see. So there seemed to be some tactical tweaks and maybe a bit of a divergence from Mareska's, like, been firm. I have this idea and we will implement this idea and this is how we play. Yeah, we haven't seen what the idea is yet. Oh, we see the idea. I don't like the idea, but there is an idea, and I think the idea is to be incredibly leaky on defense and play this, like, outrageously high. Line and be on board with that strategy. Yeah. So we did. But we did get to see what the system would look like with Kukurea back, and we got. We were able to see what's his name? Malagusto. We got to see him playing more of a wing back role. He was getting very far forward, especially when Cole Palmer was in the match. Definitely, like, more traditionally, like. Like up and down the side. The side of the pitch. Like a wing back versus playing to. His and James's strength. Yeah. How we use the left. Yep. So, yeah, and then. And I don't have anything up in front of me and they made a ton of changes because it's preseason. I doubt that who scored covered this at all. Let's see now. The. I couldn't find it. I think, I do think that this, having this strategy available is going to help us break through in some of the. Against lesser opponents in an area, in areas where we struggled last season in terms of helping get people forward positionally in an organized fashion. But to your point, the offset is if we try and do this against top half teams, the ones that are better counter attacking. Tottenham as an example, I guess. Right, more. That has more of a counter attacking feel. Villa and West Ham, teams like that, that can exploit it. We might be in trouble unless we figure out what the fuck's going on in defense. Yeah. So, yeah, and it looks like in the 26th minute is when Marcus Therm just carved right through us and scored a goal. I don't think there was anything Sanchez could have done there. I am terrified that it appears that Sanchez is going to be the starting keeper for us. Jorgensen, maybe one for the future that we're, we're working on. I hope he can come along quickly because. Yeah, like, yeah, Sanchez is not it. And Leslie Yugachuku came on in like the 80th minute to score in the 90th minute, the game tying goal. And he would. He looked very good. I think I read somewhere that he had three. He was three for three on successful dribbles. Three attempted dribbles, three successful dribbles. He, he looked really good once he was on the pitch. He's had a very good preseason in general. If I were to identify two actually three players who out of a very sort of tragic preseason, there were three players who stood out. Noni Madwicke, Leslie Gatukwu, who on very limited minutes scored two goals and, and looked, you know, effective in this system to the point that. I don't know, you know, he probably hangs around the first team at this point and then Mark Gui, I think is how you say his name or Mark Gu. I don't know, I'll figure it out. But, uh, he, I mean, he looked really energetic in this game. The way he chases down keepers, I, it's, it must be the, the angles he approaches them from and the speed with which he attacks keepers who are on the ball. But he has caught out opposition keepers like call it a handful of times this, this preseason. I mean, he looks great and I think they signed him for €6 million and he's not going to play a fucking minute for the team. So, so like I. And, and I don't know what they. So, you know, we can talk about loans. I think that they can make like four loans I think is the rule. Well, who's their backup striker then, if he's not going to play? So. Nico Jackson. Yeah. Samu Omarodian. We signed this week. Did you see Omar Odian's gonna stick around the first team, I guess, huh? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. They spent like, what do they spend, 45 million there? He's, he's a first. Done anything, though? Like, I don't. What he, he is very. I mean, this isn't what anyone wants to hear, but he is a very highly rated. Yeah, that's fine player. I guess I need to watch it, look into it. His stats didn't look that great and whatever. No, he takes a lot of shots. He seems to know how to get into the box, how to receive the ball and how to get a shot on frame. He, you know, so. All right, here's the comparison. A lot of people heaped a lot of praise, myself included, on Evan Ferguson this season. And statistically they're the same age. And Omar Odian was, was on par or better with Ferguson. I mean, I would believe that Ferguson's fell apart in the second half. Well, he was injured for. Anyways. I mean, I get, I haven't studied up on the guy, so maybe. I guess that makes sense. We spent money on him. He's gonna be first choice. Yeah. And then like, I don't know, man, this, this Victor Osaman deal, it seems to me like it's going to happen. He came out today that he is told. I mean, he, he didn't train with Napoli. Yeah. I mean, he's going somewhere. I would. Yeah. So he didn't train with Napoli. They are based, like, their whole plan heading into the season is that they're going to have Lukaku. Yeah. Lukaku understands Don Kante's system and they like, their whole approach has been, we're going to have Asimin and they're sorry, Lukaku. And so a deal has to happen here or Napoleon boss trying to bring. Him down from 105 million is, is astronomical. Right. And maybe not unfair, but clearly it's. If nobody else came in, hard to bid it, it's above market. Right. So I think why we're seeing less, I think as the market has gone to extremes, we're seeing, you know, the whole signing transfer cycle getting pushed back a little bit. Yeah. Less work done early, which is interesting, the context of some of the deals that have, like, materialized very quickly and out of thin air that we'll talk about, too. Mm hmm. Yeah. So we got to see page. I think you're talking about Pedro Netto. Yeah, that's. Yeah. And that. We got to see him today briefly. I think he was. He played in that game, huh? Yeah, I thought so. Let's see. Following the acquisition of. I don't see him on the. Maybe not. He was there. Sorry. No, no, no. That's what I. He. They did like, welcome to Stanford Bridge physical, like, yesterday. Yeah. Yep. So, yeah, anyway, to wrap up, this match looked much better from Chelsea. I would say that they, like inter. Both of these teams are heading into their season. They. We got to see players on the pitch that we had. Like Cole Palmer looked so good and Cuckoo had an overhead kick that deserved to go. Like he put a bicycle kick on frame and what's his name? The, like, swedish keeper that Milan have. Ah, shit. And he had a crazy game. The Milan keeper, Chelsea I. To my, like, you know, putting all my biases aside, they dominated this match. Both teams were at relatively full strength. Obviously, a lot of subs were made. Noni looked okay. Palmer absolutely changed the game. And Cuckoo looks like he's going to have a phenomenal season. I mean, he's been another relative bright spot. Well, yeah, it's just such a, it's such a crowded attacking group, but, yeah, I agree. He's going to, he's. It's clear that he's a baller and he has to be on the field and he's going to become undroppable in competitive matches and we're just going to. We're going to have to figure the fuck out what that lineup looks like. Yeah, I thought Jackson looked good. I think that's the first time we've seen him all preseason and. Yeah. So a lot more hopeful after this one. It seemed to me, observing things tactically, that Mareska came off of some of his stubbornness about his system in this match and the team played a lot better for it. That said, we have now experimented with inverting both sides of the pitch. There's a lot of options available to this manager based on what's been drilled in the preseason. And so I guess there's the, you know, there's something to be said for that. We'll see. I'm hopeful. I guess we could maybe do it. How do you, how do you think we'll fare? So we're heading in to next weekend. Is week one of the as we. Sit here today, one week away. Yeah. So what was the question? How do I feel? How do you feel and, and how do you think Chelsea will fair against Man City next weekend? I feel pretty sad. Home. It's at the bridge. I feel good about the season or. Yeah. Positive about the season. I think it's good that the beginning is going to be inconsistent because we. It's like figuring out how to pieces fit. Forget about like the total number of players on the roster, just the number. Making the first choice team is. I think it'd be really difficult to sort out, especially since we're going to see more. We're going to see more transfers in terms of coming and going here shortly. I think City. Yeah, City. City grows into the season, usually true. So maybe there's an opportunity there to get them early and, you know, again, they've had a lot of players that were out playing competitive matches in the euros or at least key players, but I don't, I'd be pretty surprised if we beat City or even get a tie out of it. I think that there's just too much continuity and ability at that team. That's my sense, at least. I'm going. Chelsea three, city one. Let's go. Let's do it. Let's hope this doesn't play out the way it did last season where I'm slamming my head through my desk by like the third week of the season, wondering why I'm here. You're gone. You're gone next week, right? Yeah. I'm gonna have to watch. I am getting packed to go to Michigan next week, so I'm gonna have to watch that, I don't know, recorded for from the. We'll see what time it's. I haven't looked at what time that game's on. Actually, I'm guessing that's a later game, so I might have to watch it recorded. Yeah, yeah, we'll see. I'm, I'm optimistic for this, this season. The soccer has not been boring and that was something I was worried about. They are absolutely dominating possession. They're hanging out in the opponent's, you know, third for a lot of the match. So, I mean, if they just clean up how susceptible they are to the counter, then, you know, I think. I think that it could be a pretty great season. So with that, let's talk about this Chelsea squad. So keepers, they have Sanchez, Jorgensen, Bettinelli, Petrovic, Arisa, Blaga and Bergstrom. They also have Slanina is not even on this and Eddie beach is not even on this list. Yeah. So Arisa Balaga is. The word is. So he's entering the last year of his deal. The word is that he's waiting on Real Madrid, like, an offer from them to materialize. I don't know what happens if nothing comes of that. I don't know how many takers there will be for Risa Blaga. I also like this, to me, has the vibe of, like, they're going to release him. I think there will be a mutual termination or something. We'll see. I thought that would have already happened. Maybe the Chelsea board is waited on that because they thought there was. There were signs that Real Madrid would have. Would come forward, but. Yeah, I don't know. Petrovic, apparently he didn't. He didn't travel with the team to the US. Right. So after becoming. Right. Yeah. After becoming the first choice keeper for Chelsea last season, I don't think he even traveled with the team. And that just. It feels like that's the sort of thing where the relationship here is such a. That. That they're going to move him on. They're going to attempt to move him on. Yeah. So that. That's a mess. There's a few huge messes on this team. I guess one of them is Connor Gallagher is gone, which we. We hadn't covered here yet, but he. He is now at Atletico Madrid. We basically did a swap deal for Omarodian, if you think about it. I think it was like, roughly the same dollars exchanged on both ends, which allows both of these teams to sort of skirt around. Psr. Right. Because now you're amortizing the. The bill out over five years. So that leaves Sanchez as probably the first choicekeeper and Jorgensen as the second choicekeeper. And I really hope Jorgensen ends up being the real deal. But I don't know, like, our goalie position seems fucking tragic, especially for the amount of money that has been spent on keepers. We'll see. So let's cover, interestingly, our left and right back position, because we have absolute, like, an embarrassment of riches everywhere except for these positions. So we have Reese James, who I don't know if you saw, he's. He's injured his hamstring again. Yep. Minor injury and training. This is a precaution. He's also. He is missing the first three matches of the season because he took, I think, more red cards than he played matches last season or something like that. Or that he started matches. Yeah. Anyway, so our right backs are Malagusto and Reese James, and that's it. So our depth there is like, there's now Mark Cucarea has played out there last season and he played very well there. Chalaba has played out there, but I. We'll get there. We'll get to him here in a second. Desassi has played there in a pinch, but in terms of people who we considered to be true to that position, that's it. And then on the other flank, you have Chili and Kukureya and Chilwell, I think, was training with the winger group in preseason and. Yeah, like, like, clearly the coach does not believe he can do the inversion thing, that Enzo Mareska does not appear to believe in Chillwell. Now, Chillwell had some great moments in preseason. I don't know if you saw that, like, shot that he headed away again. I forget who that was. Like. It came off great defense. Yeah, yeah, I. He did play some great defense, but yeah, it's tough. Like, you have your, the thinnest positions on this team are those two. And on top of that, the two most injury prone players on the, in the squad are in those positions. It's not a good, not good. I get the sense that the rascal is going to be pretty open to playing a three back at times to mitigate that if he needs to, but then Caldwell can, can come out to the left. We've seen that. So I think it's like everything else. They've got so many players, they're just like, okay, well, we'll move, move stuff around if we need to. Yeah. I think Renato Vega has also played there, and I think he's more natural in that position than Caldwell is. I did not like Caldwell. Now, maybe it'd be different if he's inverting, but he didn't look good as a left wing back, I guess, last season. So then center back here, I'm like, really interested in your thoughts. So in terms of people who I consider to be actual potential starters this season, you have Desassi, Adorabayo, Baddie, Achille, Colwill, Fafana and Renato Vega. That is six people to fill two positions. And on top of that, in terms of depth, you have a Chempong Humphreys, who I think is linked with a move away, Gilchrist, who has been loaned out, I believe, and Chaliba, who is banned from the first team facilities. Chalava hurts, man. Do you remember when he scored that goal while, when Tuchel was coaching, he, he scored his first Chelsea goal from outside the box. Yeah. And just dropped to his knees and pointed at the sky and, and then just started crying. The, like him. Reese James and Connor Gallagher were the only players remaining in the squad that had absolute fire in their belly to be playing for Chelsea. Yeah. Like, you know, Chalaba is the type of guy who, who, when he would score or, you know, somebody else would score, he's just tearing the badge off his chest. He's, he's so fucking hyped to be playing for this team. He's. And, and, yeah, it's just the, the rules or the financial rules in soccer right now are insane. And they're incentivizing clubs so much to force their youth players, their academy players out the door. Like Chalaba is. What's happening to him is, is awful. And isn't that like of our own doing? Because we decided to sign 15 other defenders. Yes, but those defenders, we can amortize their, their transfer fee over five. Or in the case of, I think, Baddie, Achille, Fafana and Desasi because it was before the rules changed. It's, it's out over like seven, eight years. So for one Chaliba sale you can get like two or three players with the way it goes on the books and, and so that's what you're seeing. But one, there are a few issues here. Like, you know, another thing to keep in mind is, is when we register for Europe and if we ever qualify for the Champions League, we have to register. I think it's four club developed players and eight total players inclusive of those club developed players who are, who spent like three years or more under the age of 21 in like playing in a system in the UK. So I mean, in terms of like Chalaba, he's gone. Like he, like he's clearly just being forced out the door. So you've got Caldwell, Reece, James and I think that's it in the first team who are club trained, Broja, who is for sure being sent out, shipped out. So anyway, the, the point is it's a disaster. Like I feel really bad about, about what's happening in Chalama and we didn't lose a game when he played last season and I think he's better than Desassi. Yeah. I mean, that's not a, that's a perfectly reasonable case. Yeah. But I think you're right. It comes down to the economics of it and the numbers of it. Yeah. So I think Tosin out of Rebio will be eventually be a nailed on starter for the team. I think he's I think he's solid. He adds a lot of height to the team. Yeah. Some other podcast, I think the London is blue podcast has been calling him Tosin the giant. I mean, he's a great. That's great to have that. That center back like that. That can come on late in games when you win balls, when area balls. Yeah. I mean, I don't. I don't know who the hell starting out of that group, but. Yeah. Again, that's. I assume they. They have in mind some kind of rotation. Right. And Chala, but probably is the most versatile out of all of them, which is why he maybe was the first to go. Yeah. Ronaldo Vega is pretty versatile. I mean, he can play as. As a DM. That looks like he's where he's going to end up, right? Or. I don't know. I'm guessing that's where he's going to play the most of his minutes. Yeah. So he was. We were trying to sign that italian dude who Arsenal ended up signing. What the hell was his name? Can't remember his name right now. For whatever reason he had. Everybody said he had a great euros, but Italy got their. Their shit kicked in, so I don't know how you even, like, determine. Yeah. Differentiate there. Okay. Yeah, I reckon I remember who you're talking about. The left back. Anyway, he's at Arsenal now, and he came from FC Basel, I think, in the swiss league. And his replacement in that squad was Viega Renato Vega. And so Chelsea, knowing that that deal was probably going Arsenal's way, they went and got the backup. So, you know, to me, you know, maybe I'm. I'm giving too much thought to this, but they must have seen him as a solution for the left back role. If, you know, if. If that's how they approached this, I would. So to clean this up, I guess when they signed him, I thought that was a sure sign that Chillwell was leaving. But they also don't appear to be shoving Chillwell out the door at this point. So I don't know. At midfield we have Enzo Dewsbury Hall, Kaiseido, Chuquamaka, Lavia Oogachuku. We just brought in Kellyman and Cuckoo has been playing there. Yeah. So that's. I mean, there's three midfield positions in this system there. There are two, like eights and. And then a more attacking role, I think is sort of how it's set up. Obviously, you're gonna have to get Casey and Enzo. That's a combined 200 million worth of midfielder on the pitch. Enzo is now apparently a vice captain. Which suggests he's gonna be playing a lot or. That's not where you're going with this. Dude. How fucking mad is that that he had an international scandal for like weeks ago. Yeah. For, for leading a racist, homophobic chant. And then he comes to this team and is made cat. Dude, I talked about this with Shannon. I talked through this with Shannon and she asked me what I thought they would do about this. And I was like, they're for sure gonna bench him for a bit of. I was on the podcast. Yeah. I was certain that there would be some sort of punishment for this. And instead they made him vice captain or one of the alternate captains. Whatever. It is fucking maddening. It's. It's so crazy. I remember listening to people joke that he was going to be made captain of Chelsea when. When all that shit broke and it actually fucking happened. Yeah. I mean, it's enigmatic of where the situation probably is from a leadership standpoint. That's something that the manager supported. Yeah. So this graphic I'm looking at is from 90 men.com. they have Mudrick listed as a right winger and Angelo Gabriel listed as a left winger. And I thought Angela Gabriel had moved to Strasbourg. I know that Audrey Santos, both of. Them are going to be playing somewhere else next season. So. Yeah, Santos went there. Santos, yeah. So Cassidy, they're for sure gonna sell. Lavia is gonna be a starter in some matches. I don't. This is a mess. Like, the point of this exercise is this is a mess. An absolute mess. Yeah. People have gotta get. Yeah, I think some of the cycle, the selling cycle too has been delayed. The loan cycles been delayed. I think more players are gonna go. Dude, they need to sell like seven players. Maybe that's a more interesting way to approach this. I'm just gonna list or the seven. I, well, I'm gonna list the players I think need to be sold. You tell me if I'm off here. Arisa, Blaga, Petrovic, Chalaba, unfortunately, like, he just has to be sold at this point. Cesare Cassidy, probably Andurin is still here. Cassidy is young enough to be loaned, isn't he? He is, but I think that they've indicated that they want to sell him. Okay, fair enough. Yeah. So that's why I'm labeling. He is young enough that he could be lone for sure. And then so you, they brought in Pedro Netto, $60 million signing. He plays on the left wing. I think he's left footed. I think he's a left footed lady, you can probably play on either wing. But the way we want to play with wing like wingers that are adding width, you probably put him on the left because you're not going to want him cutting in the that much. So on that side you've got Sterling and Mudrick. Mudrick, who is in a prove it year for sure. Like, if he doesn't come good this season, then I don't know. I don't know what they do with him. Very expensive mistake if he doesn't come good this season. So anyway, Sterling, maybe you'll be happy to know that apparently Juventus is. Has inquired about this. So potentially Sterling moving on, that's six. If not Sterling, then somebody else. Madwecka, he's been linked with. With a move away to Newcastle and then at Stryker you need to move on Lukaku and Broia. And they've also said Datro Fafana needs to move. He's linked with a loan with a mandatory buy to Lester. So that's nine players that I think they need to move on. They're saying seven. I. Yeah, it's a lot. Maybe that's posturing, but. But, yeah, nine would. Those nine would make sense to me. I think nine's at least the floor of the number of what needs to be moved on from. Yeah. In the next like three weeks. Yeah. Or however long we've. How are they gonna do this? I don't. It's. It's absolutely maddening. I remember I saw that they had like 45 1st team players on the books two weeks ago, and in that time they signed Pedro Neto and Omerodian, like, since that time. So. Yeah, yeah. How do you feel about the Pedro Netto signing? Let's. Let's talk about that. I love the way this signing happened. Nobody saw it coming. It just like fucking dropped out of nowhere. It was not previously covered in the Ryan transfer. No, no, I didn't. Fucking orange. That's how under the radar this side. Ornstein didn't see it coming. Fabrizio Romano didn't see it coming. Nobody. None of us. Like, I mean, I. You know, I was texting with those guys on Saturday. I'm surprised consortium didn't figure it. Yeah. Like, all of us were just caught off guard by this one. So. Yeah, I mean, I think. I think I was guilty of not watching closely enough. Enough Wolverhampton games. So I might have been breaching my contract with this podcast in that regard, but I think it's an excellent signing. Like, I think it makes it very clear now that we need to move on from Sterling. I think it gives us somebody who can actually play like it has reasonable decision making and is a better, more consistent soccer player than Sterling is at the moment, even though he's had his moments in preseason, but, like, he just wasn't it last season for us. Yeah, so I'm pretty happy about that. It just again, makes the numbers game a little bit more jacked up and I don't know, I kind of thought there was part of me that felt like in cuckoo might end up playing that role. Um, but so again, how the pieces fit, I don't know, but I think coming in there and going after a great player like that, that's, that's available, um, is the right thing to do and it's good business, um, to improving the squad. Yeah. Yeah, I like it. Uh, the injury record is a concern. He spent a lot of last season with a hamstring injury. I guess like maybe we have a lot of experience dealing with those at this point. So coverage because we've got a lot of players. Yeah, yeah, but you know, jokes aside, Pochettino was a fucking psycho the way he was. Luke will defend him all day, but the way he was doing his training is fucking stupid. I don't, I don't care, like, I don't care what the, the, like, there is no shot that in modern sports science that anyone would recommend that you do the most challenging training session with the, the highest intensity of like he was having him doing the highest sprint volume on the day before matches. Like, you, you need there to be a recovery period heading into the match. Uh, absolutely psychotic shit. He's gonna love Concacaf, I think. Yeah. Dude, with his injury prone as the men, us men's team is. Holy fuck. I like, I like can't even fathom that. Yeah. So that's another rumor. Is that Pacha's headed to the or is that, is that a done deal? It's not done deal. He looks like, I think he's the most noteworthy of the candidates out there that it seems like we're serious about. But I think you're right. I think Gio's mom is going to have to send him with a note to training that says, my son is sick today. He needs to go sit and eat orange slices on the side him or whatever. Tyler Adams Pulisic. Well, I'm just saying, but their parents don't typically get involved. The Reinas are a little bit more involved. Oh yeah. Yeah, I, yep. That's fair. Yeah. So where was I going with this. Oh, Chelsea did gut their, their medical staff too. So they announced that they, they've completed the, the reestablishment of the, the medical team. We'll see. Hopefully they're like, whatever team was there before who were just like sniffing glue and, and I think like deliberately maiming players. I. Oh, man. Yeah. So we'll see, we'll see what happens there. But Pedro Neto seems fucking stoked. Like, he seems jazzed to be there and it's good to see that we're not just signing children, you know, like. Yeah, that's true. That's. He's 24, he's an established player. He is not a starter, but he is, he plays, you know, he's a portuguese international. He is selected, consistently selected for that team. Yeah. And that is a stacked team. Like, so I mean, this is one to be excited about. He knows how to win in the Premiere League, what, what it takes to play in the Premier League. Yeah, I'm familiar with the competition. Right. Yep. And to your point was somebody who probably was, was rightfully excited to take another step up and kind of role in the team he's playing for. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm stoked about that. And if, if, like, the scouting on Omarodian is accurate, which, I mean, this is always, it's always a crapshoot, you know, but if, if it's, if it's to be believed, then the idea, like, people just. He's a monster. He's huge. I mean, he fits well if you're going to be, if you're a top half team that's going to be able to run possession games. Yeah. And can play the aerial ball into them or also can finish with his feet, obviously. Right. But can be that body and that presence kind of like hollande is for city. Right. Yeah. And we've seen like teams like Arsenal run out of ideas at times because they don't have that big body in there. Right. So it's a big weapon. I mean, sense. And Atletico, until they signed a. What's his name? I mean, that was a big signing. Alvarez from city, they were quoting teams. It was like 75 or €85 million for him. Like, they thought very highly of him. Yeah. So anyway, this squad is a disaster that needs to be unfucked. I'll be really interested to see how it shapes up this, this season. I mean, I'm being, I'm sort of memeing when I say we're going to beat City. I am really concerned. I am not optimistic. I don't know if there's a worse way to. I mean, yeah, I mean, playing the defending champions is always bad, but. Yeah, I don't know, that's. I mean, I'm concerned open the season. I guess it's better. I'd rather face them than face like Arsenal or Tottenham the first game of the season where we're fucking disorganized. Yeah. I'm just concerned. What are the positives? So I guess these players, the core players, are more familiar with each other now. Yeah. I mean, there's a returning core, right. There's a lot of pieces you can move in and out and we're healthier at the moment, so. Yeah, I mean, we'll see. But it's ceiling is theoretically much higher. Yeah, but then new coach, new system, tons of new players. Yeah. I don't know, I. I'm really worried. I'm so worried going into the season. I was way more optimistic going into last season and I don't want to suffer through another one of those manda. I just don't. I can't come here. Well, I guess the good news is that Luke never fucking shows up anymore. So we're gonna sweep those scrubs anyway, so that's fine. I wouldn't worry. That's what's gonna keep you up at night. Don't worry about that. Who did they pick? They picked up slant k, right? Yeah. We should talk about that. Yeah. I mean, you called this, you called this like at the end of last season. I think really, I'm almost certain that. On this podcast I might have named him and like Ali Watkins as good candidates. Yeah, Tottenham. I'm pretty sure you named him as like your top pick for Tottenham. Yeah, I mean, I definitely lauded him and I think this is great signing. I think it's business for them. I hate to see it. And the good news keeps coming for them. Richarlison has decided to not go to Saudi. How is that good? Good news for us, right? Well, yes. Yeah. What's more, Tottenham fans, who you think were Charles is part of the solution? Like, I don't know. They did they. They kept Timo Werner too, right? I'm pretty sure they did. I think they did another loan for Timbo. Yeah. I don't understand that team. I wish Luke was here to talk about it. I get that Bergstrom might be good and I think Archie Gray is going to be really good. I really think. I think Luke is higher on Bergstrom. Am I saying Bergstrom? Berg. Vol berg. Vol Bergstrom is the keeper for Chelsea I wasn't sure. I don't. Yeah, it's the guy Luke talked about. I think it's Bergva. He's sweet, like a Swedish. Yeah. Lucas Bergfall. Bergval, swedish midfielder. I. Luke is very high on Bergval. I think Archie Gray was the bigger grab for them. Yeah, let's. Let's look up Tottenham transfers. Yeah, I. Hopefully Luke is here next week because you're not going to be around, otherwise everybody's going to get even more of a monologue from me than this was. Just transfer rumors. Yeah, just an hour of them. Yep. So, interesting. Eric Dyer was a loan to Byron says end of loan, so. All right, did he go there for free? Or maybe there must have been an obligation to buy or something. He's only 30. Is that. I don't know how that ended up. Playing, dude, on, on transfer marks, Dyer is listed as English and Portuguese. Maybe because he was never called up. Huh. He just, like, couldn't look less portuguese to me. I don't know. Anyway, let's see, they had, like, ndambale, looks like, went to Galatasaray permanently. Parasic is gone. They had a couple of outgoings. They signed a center forward named Dane Scarlett. I don't know him. They signed Alfie, Devi, Devine, divine. And then they signed. I'm not even gonna try. They signed this dude, south korean winger, who I think for €4 million, who people believe has a very high ceiling. His last name is Yang. And then Bergvaal Gray. And Salonke. Salonque, they paid 66.5 million for. That's a big fee for a 26 year old. I mean, he was very good last season. So, yeah, I mean, they, they've kind of broken bucked their trend against everything we talked about making fun of them, not spending last season. Right. I mean, they basically just bought a bunch of. Well, bought a few. A few players this season without really moving on from a lot. They've spent €121,000,000.75 million this transfer market, apparently. Yeah. So, wow. Yeah. Dominic goes, what was 70? Almost, but, yeah, so, I mean, just, I think just those two signs, RG Gray and slant a make them should be big improvements for them, but a squad that was already played very well, the bulk of the campaign. Right. So, yeah, yeah. Something to be. Another thing to be concerned about for. Dude, have you seen West Ham? Yeah, West Ham looks loaded. I think my hope is that they end up being like the. The overhyped disappointment. Yeah. Season, like, that's all we should. Yeah. But, yeah, I mean, they look like, yeah, I wouldn't want to walk down the block and run into their starting eleven. They've got a lot of fucking people. Bring the hammer. Let's see. So they brought in Killman this weekend. I missed that or. Yeah, full Krug. Somerville they brought in. Oh, right. I think that, uh, Louis, uh, Guillermy, I think is how you say his name, uh, Chelsea were in for him, and they came in and hijacked that transfer from Palmierish. They got Guido Rodriguez on a free. Yeah, I mean, they've done some really great transfer business. We'll see. Fulkerg is crazy that they brought him in. Yeah, yeah, that'll be. I mean, they're going to be a lot better this season, I think. And they have a new manager, Lopetegi, you know, who has thought very highly of. I think he had like, a pretty tragic spell at like, Real Madrid, was it? Real Madrid? I'd have to look at his history. Yeah, I think, yeah, Real Madrid, he was there for 14 matches. Yeah, that's. That's a quick roll. Quick stint at a club as a manager. Has Paquetta started his prison sentence yet? Paquetta, good question. What is up with him while. Well, I'll let you look that up. And while you look that up, clearly we're in the variety hour here. Let's talk about Arteta. Was there anything else you wanted to discuss this episode? Did you have anything written down? I mean, I think the closing thought, yanks of the ranks, is you and I, neither you nor I, decided to go to the Barcelona AC Milan game, even though it was held in Baltimore. Right. Last week I looked at tickets like the day of, and they're still selling for like hundred dollars. Yeah, I couldn't believe that the price on that didn't drop. It's just, it's this, it's. It's scarcity of product. And then like, to me, I think a lot of it just price gouging by the organizers. They'd rather have the seats empty and sell stuff for hundreds of dollars. And it's. I don't know, I'm just not going to play that. That game for a non competitive match. Yeah, it's one of the things that drives me nuts about professional sports in general is some of the price gouging on tickets. But I pulisic put on a fucking show. The goal and assist, I didn't see that at all. Got to see that. Yeah, that's cool. He. The goal in particular, just put it. He did not have much an angle to put that one. So, yeah, he balled out. He looks ready to go, obviously, you know, had a great season last season. I saw some stuff in the. The offseason. Kind of talked about trying to poo poo, kind of like his overall contributions relative to, like, other superstar players and better leagues. But I don't know. It looks like they're going to pick up right where they left off in terms of that AC Milan attack this season. But now, see, let's talk about Wackadoodle Arteta. Yeah. So I was looking up transfer marked for AC Milan. I was. I was curious if they had brought anyone in this season real quick. Pavlovic from Salzburg, they brought in Marata. Yes. That's an interesting signing, right? Yeah, I can't. I would think that's an upgrade overall relative to Drew. How many clubs has Murata played for. Real Madrid to see him go back to, or go back to go to Italy. Yeah, dude. All right, so Real Madrid to Juventus, then Juventus back to Real Madrid, then Real Madrid to Chelsea, then Chelsea to Atletico. What is happening here? Real Madrid to Chelsea. Chelsea to Atletico left, Chelsea joined. I don't remember this. He had two stints at. It looks like Chelsea paid 40 million for him off real, then sold him to Atletico for 50, and then brought him back for 36, then sold him back for. What is this, 20? All of this? Maybe that was just the way to deal with it. There's some, like, weird bookkeeping going on there. Anyway, then he went. He went back to Juventus at some point, and then. Yeah, anyway, he's. He's moved around a lot. Total transfer fees on him.€202 million over the course of his career. Geez. Yeah. Let's talk about Arteta. Arteta. I think during their US tour, he held a team dinner, and while he was talking, speaking to the team, he hired a group of professional pickpockets to wander around the location and steal from his players. And at the end of his speech, he said, everybody check your pockets. And the players noticed that they were missing lots of valuable shit from their pockets. And he said, I've hired pickpockets. They've stolen all of your shit. And this is a. What did he say? Like, this is a reminder to always be vigilante, to always be alert, and I have a lot of fucking questions about this. Real. Okay, well, I'll let you go because I don't. I don't actually have no questions. You have no questions about this scenario? I. I couldn't care less what's going on with Arsenal, because they're not gonna win the Premier League anytime soon. And in Arteta is not a part of the reason for that is Arteta. And he's a weirdo. Yeah. He's not likable. And I'm sure it's great that, like, women love his eyebrows or whatever, but I could give a shit what they're doing over there. I feel bad for soccer that he is to play on that team. That's about it. Is it Califiori? It's Califiori. That's who they signed. We were talking about our Arteta, and it came. Came to me. So. Yeah, from Bologna califiori. Yes, I agree. Arteta is weird. I don't think they have it. I don't think they will win the pl, actually. That's what we'll wrap on. We'll pick our top four, and then we'll call it a podcast. But issue number one, or question number one, where do you hire professional pickpockets? Where the fuck would you like. It's a professional thief. Like, what did he. What did he post on, like, Facebook marketplace that he needs pickpocket spies term mercenaries or something? That's the only I can guess. That's a good. I didn't think about that. Yeah. And so then, like, all right, so. I mean, granted, like, pickpocketing is like a. Like a part of the embedded in the economy in, like, and Spain world countries. Like, the one Spain. Yeah. Comes from. So, yeah, it probably is less common. Called Spain a third world country. They have the economy of, like, Greece, don't they? Yeah. I'm too focused on this pickpocket issue. All right, so. So we've put out a call for pickpockets, and we've gotten. We've received responses. Let's pick our roster. And these. These guys must have been fucking salivating at the idea of being let into a private team dinner with some of the wealthiest athletes in the world. Yeah. And. And then what lesson was to be learned here other than, like, you can't even trust your team dinner? Like, I. This was like, this blew my mind when I read it. I had to read it twice. I was like, surely that didn't actually happen. And it did. Like, that. That. That really happened. Can you imagine being sokka and having gone through last season and been told to play every fucking minute until you're hurt every game and thrown into the shit. The shit pile that was in this England squad. Yeah. And be coached by Southgate and then become back and be coached by this whack job. He's probably like, feel bad for soccer. I bet that's my reaction. He probably went into the board and explained how he can be amortized. Like, guys, I'm an academy grad. You could. You could buy a whole squad if you sold me. Yeah. Do I have a deal for you? Yeah. Oh, man. Yeah. Fucking insane. All right, so I'll put both of us on the spot because I haven't thought about this at all. So we're heading into the Premier League season next week. You want me to go first? I'll pick my top four. Yeah. I was just gonna say top four. You don't have to put them in order. Yeah, go ahead. Yeah. I'm gonna say city for sure. Arsenal. Chelsea. And who's gonna be my fourth? Liverpool. I'll say Liverpool. That'll be my four. Yeah. Liverpool's one. I have not given thought to. With clop gone. Yeah. New. New coach. They sort of have to replace a large part of their squad still. Yeah. I'm not. I think that fourth spot could really be up for grabs. But isn't salad Diaz both there still? Right? Yeah. Yeah, but I mean, salas old. Yeah, I. Yeah. I don't know. I'm not going to be exciting here. I'm just going to go with what I think, which is. I think it's city. Arsenal. Liverpool in Chelsea. Okay. Do you think Man United qualifies for Europe? Where do you think they land? What was the cut off this season for Europe? I think. I think 8th. Because maybe it's six. Do we get to they? I do. I think they do. I think they think it's two births to Europe. And now that they've. They've started playing their younger players, like mano and stuff, I think they're going to be okay. And they'll have Hoyland in the mix and cemented there. He's injured for like, two months. He's out for two months. I thought. I thought with a hamstring injury. I saw it. I guess I didn't watch him. Yeah. He didn't play. I guess he must not have played yesterday, then. Shows you how much I paid attention to Community Shield. But, yeah, I mean, I think. I don't think it'll be insurmountable to get into the top eight, but I could see them not being top six pretty easily, depending on how things go. Yeah. Sorry, I'm trying to find. I did find that apparently it looks like the Paquetta situation, the one expected to play out maybe the entire rest of the season. So he's expected to play. Okay. Which is big great news for West Ham. Yeah. Hoylan's out for six weeks. Why that court case is going to take so long. Unless it's. Unless cuz it's an actual. I guess that maybe because it's in the actual courts, I guess I should know this. I don't know. Yep. Lenny or o. Out for three months, Hoyle in six weeks, so. Yep. All right. I don't know why that stuff isn't prosecuted by, like, the judiciary in the UK. Unless. Yeah. I have no clue. But that is probably a pod. Yeah, there's been a decent amount of chatter on the discord. Please join the discord if you're interested in that. There's a link in the podcast description and things are liven it up. What's liven it up? Yeah, yeah, they definitely are. Uh, so, yeah, come join us there. We're having a lot of fun, uh, you know, like and subscribe, leave a review, uh, or dislike it. I don't fucking care. Uh, whatever you want to do. Just interact with this shit. Um, and, uh, yeah, we'll catch you guys next week with actual pl action. No more olympics. Um, yeah, thanks for tuning into the football Yanks podcast. Be sure to subscribe wherever you heard this podcast so you never miss a future episode. We'll see you next time.