S1E13: Filmmaker Asher Vast on Meditation & Accountability

Excited for a real, raw conversation about personal growth, meditation, and relationships? Asher Vast, a renowned filmmaker, and I delve deep into these topics and more in this engaging episode of Axé All Day Podcast. We kick things off by addressing the elephant in the room - the importance of meditation for personal growth. Shattering misconceptions and guiding you through a quick one-minute exercise, Asher demonstrates how accessible meditation can truly be.

Exploring the benefits of meditation beyond the mat, we share personal experiences to highlight how this practice has significantly shaped our lives. We underscore the power of patience and consistency in personal work, and how transformative changes don’t happen overnight. It's a candid conversation about the hardships and triumphs we've faced in our journeys towards self-improvement. 

The episode concludes with a meaningful dialogue about personal growth within relationships, touching on the delicate balance of change acceptance and responsibility. We also delve into the red flags in relationships and the importance of self-reflection and accountability for growth. This episode is a powerful reminder that the journey to self-improvement can be challenging, but oh so rewarding! Tune in and join us on this enlightening journey.

Transcript

Andrew Carroll: 0:00

Welcome to the Ashe All Day Podcast. I'm so excited to have you here. I'm so excited to be in your temple, where you truly create magic. Asher has quickly become one of my favorite human beings. He does the work he comes from his heart and all that he does. He is a passionate artist, one of the best filmmakers I've ever met. The tribe that you have surrounded yourself with is a group of absolutely impeccable people that are authentic and honorable and walking in integrity with what they believe in fearlessly. Oh, that is quite the introduction.

Asher Vast: 0:42

First of all, thank you for having me on your show. I really appreciate it. I have not been on very many podcasts. I have not had the opportunity to really share this type of experience and this whole vibe with a lot of people. I'm excited to be here and it's an honor.

Asher Vast: 1:02

I don't know that I could live up to that in a way that's evident to the audience outside without showing you literally showing you videos and our projects and things that we've done. But maybe you can see that at your own pace. There's only one, asher vast, out there, so I'm pretty easy to find. If you want to see what I've done, I exist on the internet. There are no other ones. It's really easy to track down who I am and what I've done, but it's all a process too. Part of that is Part of that progress, and that journey has come from meditation, like the focusing that I've been able to do, and the progress that I've been able to make in my own ventures has come from being able to to pull that value and that attention where it needs to be and not let my emotions and distractions get the better of me and, you know, eat up my time. Basically.

Andrew Carroll: 2:07

Would you be open to just leading us in some breathing together?

Asher Vast: 2:11

Yeah, I have. I've found a lot of value for meditation and I understand that you have as well, absolutely so I don't really know how to kick it off for other people. I guess this is a real personal thing for me and it's not something that I've done a lot for with other people.

Asher Vast: 2:32

So I mean, yeah, I'm always interested in sharing my experiences and things that I've learned with it. So let's do one minute for the audience's sake. We're going to do one minute because that is enough for now. Okay, so let's go ahead and start it, and we're going to just start with long, deep breaths, and you can either close your eyes or open them, and it's up to you. Anybody who is in the audience following along, you're welcome to join us. It's really there's not that much to it, but you can watch me and see how I'm breathing and just how I'm sitting and how I am, and then you can find your own way to be at peace or at. You can find your own way to be in the moment, where you are and what works for you. So here we go. I'm going to start and that's one minute.

Asher Vast: 4:33

So I think for a lot of people who are just starting out, maybe one to five minutes is a good starting point, because I know it's really difficult for a lot of people and it was for me too, and that's important to acknowledge, because when you're first starting out with meditation, there's a lot of doubt about if what you're doing is right and even if you believe in meditation and you have done the, you've done your research and you understand the medical implications, you've read about the studies, you know that it reduces blood pressure, overall anxiety, increases general well-being, like all of these things Like, even if you know all of that going into it, you can still have questions about whether you're doing it right and you may doubt yourself sometimes, and that was a big thing for me, and I feel like there are times where I almost didn't make it in my meditation journey just because there's all these questions I had and nobody to answer them.

Asher Vast: 5:37

I didn't have a person that I could ask them to. I was literally learning everything from stuff I read online and watching YouTube videos, so it's from other people that I've gained some insight, just by watching them, but I never had a personal connection with somebody who I was able to ask them about it and ask them their experience, I mean here and there, yes, but never really anybody who I could just dive into it with.

Asher Vast: 6:01

So the reason. I'm talking about all this is because the doubt and the uncertainty of maintaining the practice is kind of rooted in your ability to just try it and see what happens for yourself.

Asher Vast: 6:17

But you have to do it for a while to see the results. For all you out there who are getting started with meditation, you don't need to start with 15 minutes. You can start with five minutes, you can start with two minutes. It's it's about creating that, that process and that that discipline to know that, all right, every day I'm going to put aside this amount of time, whatever that time is for you, and to to to honor that time and to stick to it, and so that's a part of the journey that that's also a part of what builds the conditioning of the benefits that you can receive from from meditation is is knowing that it plays a role in your life and that it's just as important as taking a shower, going to the gym, brushing your teeth.

Asher Vast: 7:05

Meditation is right up there for me.

Asher Vast: 7:08

And I think it is for a lot of other people too. I don't know how that translates to the audience and I don't know how all of you do your meditation out there, and what works for you might not work for everybody else, and what works for me might not work for you and that's OK. But it's finding what works for you. That is what counts, and trying different things is is really what matters in the end, because that's how you find your way, absolutely. So everybody has their own way that they're going to find in their life to do the things that they want to do, their process, their direction, and it's going to be different for you than it is for everyone else, and what works for you is is not what works for everyone else, and that's OK.

Asher Vast: 7:57

And it's about finding your path and your direction in the way that that really speaks to you and that you understand and that you find value in. And that journey is a real personal journey and that's the way it should be. That's the way it's always been.

Andrew Carroll: 8:21

Pay attention to everything that Ash or just shared with you, because there are some really important nuggets in all of that.

Asher Vast: 8:28

It's been something that's been really powerful in my life and I highly recommend it to anybody who's trying to improve themselves, reduce anxiety, reduce general stress, and just allow themselves to be in the moment and focus on the objective and the outcome, without letting this part of our brains that loves to tell stories and loves to overanalyze everything take the wheel.

Asher Vast: 8:55

So, rather than being a passenger in our experience, rather than being, you know, somebody sitting in the back seat of the car as something else is driving it on this journey, to be the one at the wheel and to be in control of what's going on, especially when you need to be, because we're not always in control, and that's OK, but to be in control in our experience and in our present state, is what's important, especially when we are working on something or doing something that is crucial, that has a lot of writing on it.

Asher Vast: 9:33

Things can get stressful and when you utilize meditation in your daily life, you're able to channel that focus and you're able to channel that line of sight in your mind with your goals, and everything else just kind of falls along the wayside. Those other things could be, those stressors, those anxieties, like I have anxiety with being in front of a camera, like it's something that I haven't done very much, because I very much enjoy being behind the camera, because I'm a technical guy and I'm also, you know, a filmmaker and a graphic designer and an editor and a lot of other things that there's things that I enjoy doing and, like those all involve me editing and working with things that I've captured of other people. So to be on the other side of the camera is really interesting experience for me and I have less anxiety about it now than I used to, and I think again, that comes right back to meditation and

Asher Vast: 10:40

being able to just center myself and realize that all of the uncertainties and the things I'm really self-conscious about kind of just in my head, and a lot of the problems that you know have arisen from being anxious and overreacting and becoming too emotional without even realizing I was doing. It were just because I wasn't really focused and I was letting that storyteller in my brain just kind of go to town and just, you know, just take the wheel when it should have been me. And with all of that being said, it's kind of a long-winded way of saying that you know I found a lot of value in meditation and that I want to share how other people can grow from it and tell my own story in a way that resonates with other people, because I know that other people can benefit from it too.

Andrew Carroll: 11:42

One of the biggest things that comes up, reflecting on what you said, is trying for yourself, doing for yourself, even in that space, and it's important for people to know that you have been consistent with this practice. You just had your two-year meditation birthday, yeah, yeah. So, acknowledging that, that consistency, I think a lot of people get lost in the sauce and think that this, the work, the spiritual work, this personal work, this personal evolution path, is an overnight thing. Well, you didn't, let me, not you on everyone. I didn't get to be a 300-pound miserable, adulterous, unfaithful liar overnight. That was a accumulation of years of just self-abuse. I'm not even going to reflect on anybody else that I was in relationship with because what comes down to his relationship was self.

Andrew Carroll: 12:46

And my journey started with more, with the mindfulness type of stuff.

Andrew Carroll: 12:52

I mean the first time my mom sent me to therapy or anything.

Andrew Carroll: 12:55

I think I was probably the second or third time I ended up on like summer juvenile probation painting out houses and stuff in Montana because I had been a delinquent, you know, ended up.

Andrew Carroll: 13:08

I mean I was forced medication at 10, 11 years old for being hyperactive. Looking back on that now and as I meet more and more creatives, I was a creative kid that was being squashed by a traditional education system and the kind of society that I was in, without a lot of options, and maybe you can attest to this too, but you're an incredibly creative person. What I see in you is that you fearlessly go and try and do so, that you can figure out and understand what is my path, what is my way, what is what works for me. And you shared even more deeply that vein in your life, that common thread in your life, as you were speaking about meditation, that you didn't have a lot of people to talk to about it, but you had a lot of information available to you and so you dug into it, and I would venture to guess that you are an expert in how Asher does meditate now.

Asher Vast: 14:09

I guess I'm an expert compared to what I was. Yeah, sure, Right.

Andrew Carroll: 14:14

And this is a lifelong practice. This is a lifelong practice Wherever someone is at right now. If meditating for 30 seconds is all you can do, do it Absolutely and be consistent. There's going to be fear on this journey. You're going to be terrified at times and a big part of that is because you have been told that being human means that you need to be constantly busy and never slow down and take time for yourself.

Andrew Carroll: 14:44

And when you actually stop and breathe and take a minute and step back, oh fuck, then I have to realize like I'm doing all this shit that I don't care about and it's out of alignment with who I am and I'm 45, 50 years old now and what I'm in this relationship with somebody that I'm just here because society said we're a good fit, or like our family thought we were cute together, like there are so many big things that are going to come up. This work is not for the faint of heart and you, my friend, are so blessed to have an amazing partner in your life. She's so beautiful and the way that you guys support one another's work it's incredible. That takes two committed, dedicated, open-hearted, pure love people To be in that place. Absolutely, yeah, yeah that's it.

Asher Vast: 15:41

I'm really grateful for that. We've met and that you know we've been able to spend the last ten years together and, yeah, this is it's. It's been a real wide and, yeah, I'm super lucky.

Andrew Carroll: 15:55

Well, that has nothing to do with it, man. You, from what I know of you, are intentional and we've all made mistakes and we've been wild and all those kinds of things, but we manifest everything that we need right and you have a partner who has been with you on that to your meditation journey, and We've talked even more deeply about how psychedelics have helped us heal from a lot of different things and that work, which is huge to be with someone who loves you and themselves so much that they're like Yo. You're going on this journey of personal evolution. I'm so excited to see who you are meant to be.

Andrew Carroll: 16:35

Absolutely that my friend is a gift. It's beautiful that is yeah, so many people get stuck in that rut of I I can.

Asher Vast: 16:45

I can only love you if you're who I who you are when I met you when you put it like that, like I've, I've witnessed that throughout my life with other relationships, and, you know, people grow apart and that's a natural part of just Becoming more mature, growing older, finding who you are.

Asher Vast: 17:02

Yeah, you know the the person that I am now is very different than the person that I was 20 years ago, even 10 years ago. I feel like I'm a different person, you know absolutely, and to be able to accept that, you know, knowing that that what you're doing is making you a better person and it's taking you closer to your goals and allowing you to be more active in the pursuit of of, you know, taking others along with you on this journey and and basically being that inspiration for other people. It's, it's. It's just life-changing, because you realize that you know, after, after you've been on this journey and after you've, like, put in the time and and done some work, that, like, you Are in control and it's it. It's not something that you can really explain to people, and here I am trying to explain it to everyone but like I can say, I can say like from my own journey that like being on that path and realizing that it's a path is the most important, like part of the journey and it's.

Asher Vast: 18:13

It's like just Trying to stay focused and and realize that things aren't gonna always work out in your favor, that you're gonna make mistakes, but they still are working out in your favor, right, like that's the trippiest thing of all of it.

Andrew Carroll: 18:29

I had done a lot of work by the time I got to Seattle in January and I still was like my life is falling apart broken heart, no money, like this whole leaving an abusive relationship situation, like living in my buddy's basement for months. And but it was exactly what I needed, man, yep. If it hadn't been for that, I wouldn't know you, I wouldn't know. You know the night cry I'm rocking their shirt right now. We wouldn't have been on that music video shoot. I wouldn't know incredible people like Emilio and Tish and andraica, my dear sweet friend Tony Poe, like all these people that came into my life. Because I chose Andrew, because I am in control. Everything that happens to me in my life is my responsibility. That's right. And People, here's an open invitation. I want you to just take a minute, even if you pause this, but make sure you come back like, subscribe and share all that. But I want you To stop and think about, from the first day that you went to school, how much has been programmed into you that you are told you have to give away your control to somebody else for x, y or z in order to fit in, in order to get along, or so many of us are given this idea of. I mean, I was guilty of it when I I Was such a poor partner, I was not a good husband, I had so much shadow going on in my life and I could not speak my truth to anyone, so I was unfaithful, I cheated so much. And it wasn't until I was in my previous relationship in Germany that it happened to me and my punk ass had the audacity to Be like how could you do this to me? Do you see that? Like how ridiculous that is. But even in that moment, when something flips my whole entire world upside down, something that I had been doing and being, like, oh, it's fine, whatever, like no big deal, then it happens to me and I have the audacity to be a victim about it.

Andrew Carroll: 20:40

Well, that entire relationship, I had been ignoring red flags because she was smoking hot. Yeah, so like what? But I knew, like. I knew I couldn't trust her. I knew, like all these things, but relationships are a playground in a sandbox in which you can do some of the deepest personal work that you ever get the opportunity to do 100%, and so I was definitely. I mean, I was repeating patterns with her, I was examining a lot of stuff and I was being gaslit a lot and manipulated and I could see it all. But I thought that I could be the savior, right, and that we might, could, we might, be able to do this work together, right, and that wasn't the case. It was the best thing that ever happened to me, because now I will never go back to any of that stuff ever, and I know that because I got on a plane with nothing, a backpack full of clothes, and I moved across the world to my new community. That's amazing.

Asher Vast: 21:38

That's the story that I've told me about this before. I mean, obviously the audience hasn't heard that, but like you've shared this with me before and that was really touching to me because I haven't been in the situation that you were in, but I can relate in my own way. You know, in past relationships and knowing, especially when you talk about the accountability of being able to identify the things that were happening, that were going wrong, were our fault. You know a lot of it was our fault and that's something that we have to reflect on and and, just you know, acknowledge before we can do the work.