S1E14: Filmmaker Asher Vast on Growth, Control, and Art as a Mirror

Have you ever pondered the profound power of film and art and its impact on our personal narrative? Join visionary filmmaker Asher Vast in an enlightening discussion about growth and the transformative impact of art. In the first part of our discussion, we explore the fascinating concept of transferring our locus of control and how it often results in us following a predestined path. Asher then opens up about the journey he embarked on through filmmaking, revealing how it provided opportunities for personal growth and professional development. He emphasizes the importance of venturing beyond our comfort zones and confronting our fears for genuine growth. 

Our conversation takes a fascinating turn as we dive into the motivational impact of art, particularly film genres, and how they mirror our lives. We delve into how confronting the 'abyss' of our fears can lead us to find effective solutions to our challenges. This episode illuminates the importance of personal growth, emotional control, and being supportive in our relationships. We discuss the complexities of maintaining relationships and the vital role of growth and understanding in them. In the conclusion of the episode, we unpack the liberating idea that we have the power to create our life narrative. This episode serves as an intimate exploration of personal growth, filmmaking, and the power of self-reflection. So join us, and let's embark on this journey together.

Transcript

Andrew Carroll: 0:00

Perfect, alright. So we just took a little bit of a hiatus and people who listen to podcasts kind of already know my story a little bit. We were talking about the programming that's involved in taking away people's locus of control. I guess not taking away, but transferring that locus of control. It's scary when you finally sit down after giving that away for almost your entire life and you realize that you're not a victim You've been actively making the choice to participate in the system and when you let go of that death vest, so to speak.

Andrew Carroll: 0:37

You know, because you're clinging to it for dear life, and that's what I mean. It's been painted as this illusion of you know. This is safety. Trade your time for money, go sit in the cube, be an animal in the farm, right. And what you hit on right out the gate, asher, is that you have to taste, touch, smell and experience everything in order to find your path. You're already on the path and so doing those things, but if you're following someone else's recommended course, you're given away your control. Now there are times that you should definitely take the way that someone else has taken the path in order to collect items for your own toolbox, so that you can figure out more about what's important to you, absolutely. How does that hit for you? I don't want to leave it so broad. I actually want to drill down for a second.

Andrew Carroll: 1:30

You're an incredible filmmaker. You have an eye, a vision. You're able to translate that through a camera. Share a little bit about what that looks like, because filmmaking is one of the most beautiful arts, much like writing. Your world building you become the god of a story and the way that you approach it, the music videos that I've seen that you've put together into the gray light that you worked on with Emilio. Amazing films, all of them. There's an award behind you I don't know if that people can see that and you do it because you love it, you're passionate about it, and Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think there's a lot of healing found in that for you as well.

Asher Vast: 2:12

Absolutely for me, it's been a process of learning what this means for me filmmaking and, more broadly, being a storyteller. I have never considered myself much of a writer in terms of creating stories, but I do work with people who do, and I work with writers and storytellers who are also filmmakers, like me. Some of them are maybe better at writing than holding a camera, and so Part of being a filmmaker is not just about doing everything yourself. You certainly can that. You can make a feature film all by yourself. Is it gonna be a good film? Maybe, probably not. It's, it's, it's. I don't know if I've ever seen a feature film made by a single person that was that actually like, really spoke to me and consistently throughout the film. It's not to say that it's impossible. The real key takeaway there is it's a collaborative process that I found a lot of value in knowing that you can be a storyteller in your own right, in your own corner of the Room, as you Contribute towards a greater story with other people. So being able to to focus on one thing specifically and focus on just that thing and Be a part of the crew, a part of you know a group of other talented people who are also trying to tell the same story is um, it's, it's enlightening, it's One of the most enjoyable things that I've ever done in my life is to be a filmmaker and to be a part of that process with other people. It's helped me grow as an individual, as a professional, as an artist.

Asher Vast: 3:55

All those things have come through the trials and tribulations of making films, and a lot of it has to do with when things don't go right, when things break or you have to quickly think of a solution Because you're on a tight timeline or because things need to get done right now, and it's about being able to be in control of your emotions and being in control of your, your tools and and your environment in that, like you have a job on set.

Asher Vast: 4:29

If you're a cinematographer, camera operator, dp, your job is to work with the director and lighting department to create looks that speak to the audience, and that's what I've been working on, you know improving in my ten years of being a filmmaker.

Asher Vast: 4:48

I'm always trying to have that ability and to develop that ability of Creating these images that speak to people, and that's really important to me, that that I am able to do that effectively, and it's always something that I'm learning more about how to do better, you know, through lighting and through composition, and, and so Anybody who is out there who is interested in being a filmmaker just know that the that whole, that that whole journey of Going from making not so great videos or amateur videos to making something great, is not something that happens overnight, like you're not gonna get good at this, even in a year, like it takes years, yeah, and it might be a little daunting at first, but To me that it's. It's been a, it's been something that's helped me develop in my own, in my own personal life as well. Just do that discipline and that ability to just try new stuff and to kind of go out of your comfort zone Sometimes, because that's that's where the real growth happens.

Andrew Carroll: 5:54

It absolutely is. I like to call it playing to my edges all the time. You know, go where the friction is. What's, what's bringing the resistance? What are you afraid to examine? That's the path, right, that's the way to go.

Asher Vast: 6:08

Yeah, and I think it's.

Asher Vast: 6:09

We're finding through different types of Like studies, that people who have a growth mindset are able to develop faster than people who don't Absolutely infert.

Asher Vast: 6:21

And this is kind of a not everybody's familiar with the term growth mindset.

Asher Vast: 6:25

It's a defined now it through neuroscience and psychology to represent the ability of a person to understand that the process of becoming better at what you do and becoming more efficient comes from knowing that you're not going to get there without enduring some pain and some stress, and so being able to be in that environment and when you're witnessing and feeling the stress, to acknowledge that.

Asher Vast: 6:56

That is very similar to the stress that happens in the gym when you're, when you're working out, when you feel that burn, when you have hit your limit and you've know that you can't do anymore. That acknowledgement that your body shows you quite literally when you rep to failure is something that is like nothing else, but at the same time, it's like it's it's. There's a lot of parallels there to other walks of life, and so that's why, for me, learning to about fitness and about meditation and tying it all together with filmmaking and other aspects of of my life and the pursuits that I have, have been phenomenally helpful. I look forward to honing that that skill more and becoming more of a technician in my own, in my own, in my own life, I guess. So I guess it's, it's something that I am always interested in becoming better at and sharing that, that with other people.

Andrew Carroll: 8:12

It's beautiful, Asher. What is the genre that you love working in the most? What's your favorite? What really turns you on?

Asher Vast: 8:20

For filmmaking. I love sci-fi and, with a little bit of suspense, horror, like I love psychological films and I love how they are able to grab people in a way that can just really make them question everything, because that, to me, is like the essence of, of what it means to inspire someone like to, to, to really to get them to realize that, okay, I'm watching a film right now, but this seems so real to me right now that it feels like I'm there, and to be able to do that, as a filmmaker is is like that. That's that's the goal and that's what I always, what I always aim to do in in my process and in my films, is to inspire people, because if you are making something that you're putting a lot of time into call it art, you know, like, filmmaking is an art, whether you're painting, whether you're making music, it's, they're all forms of art, and as an artist, you have one job and that is, to inspire people, and so whether your film is about.

Asher Vast: 9:32

It may be it's a happy film. Maybe it's an inspiring film about this character who overcame something that was seemingly daunting and unsurmountable in their life and then they transcended that, and if that's the basis of the film, then that's what you're inspiring people to witness and to feel. Is that to be there with that person in that process? And then sci-fi and horror it's a lot of fear and uncertainty and like terror, and that, to me, is fascinating.

Asher Vast: 10:06

Cause I love being able to put people in that space and make them feel like they're in the shoes of the hero or the main actor. That's powerful and that, to me, is what has allowed me to, like, challenge myself and try to bring that experience to other people. It's just about witnessing the inspiration, or witnessing the scene. I mean like wow, that scared the hell out of me, or that the character that we thought was just a non-important, an unimportant person in the film had something changed in them, and then you're able to witness that and see it through their development as a character in the film.

Andrew Carroll: 10:49

You're saying all that and I'm sitting over here thinking to myself like you just want to take this existential dread that is hanging over everyone and just make them look at it. Yeah, look at it Right. This is when you look into the abyss man. That's when real change happens.

Asher Vast: 11:06

Yeah, and that helps us. You bringing that up makes me realize that like so a lot of what I've learned from is realizing that most of my problems in my life were from me not looking into the abyss.

Asher Vast: 11:22

And whatever the abyss is it can be anything, but it's about a lot of your problems in life are going to come from you not addressing the core problem, the core issue, the core what's really behind it? Like so, in horror films and in suspense films we often have these characters or monsters that are quite physically like that. They are abominations or they're some sort of demon. But it's really all a metaphor, right Like and a lot of great stories are metaphors. They can at least be seen as metaphors for something else and that, to me, has a lot of truth to it, because that's where I've done all of my work on myself is being able to acknowledge that, oh, that thing that I was really scared of, that I was avoiding, that I was putting off, is making my life miserable because I'm not addressing it, not because it's there, it's there, it's gonna be there regardless, but because I'm running away from it, because I'm scared to face it, that's where the real challenges in my life are coming from. So, when I'm able to acknowledge that entity, that problem, and say, all right, what is this really? What is it that's really behind this?

Asher Vast: 12:46

It's in the Scooby-Doo episode, where they find the villain and they pull the mask off of him. Oh, it's Mr Jenkins from the like Woodmill, you were behind all of this and it's really. And then you've seen the meme where it's a reflection on that, where the main actor in Scooby-Doo I forget what his name is the dude in the white oh, isn't that Fred? Fred, he pulls the mask off of it in itself, right. Yeah, you saw that meme. Like that's a great one. I love that Because it shows it like hey, this thing that we were trying to like or that we were scared of, or that we were running from. When we finally confronted it, we realized it's just us Like this is we're getting in our own way.

Asher Vast: 13:26

Yeah, and that's like that's to me, one of the most inspiring like revelations of my later life, I would guess is to realize that, like I was getting in my own way and I didn't realize it, and we all do that.

Andrew Carroll: 13:39

Oh yeah, even still. But I think the purpose of the work is understanding that this, from birth to death, is the path. So, whether you're in a place where you're meditating regularly and you're taking really good care, or you drink every night just to numb yourself, you're still on the path. Do you wanna be walking like shoelace through a bramble patch or do you wanna be in the juiciness of life and enjoying everything that comes across? Your sensational palate? Right and this theme keeps coming up for us in this conversation of you are in control of everything that happens to you. You are made to manifest and create what you want in life.

Andrew Carroll: 14:21

Truly, you have to take a deep, hard look at yourself in order to integrate the issues that continually come up. We are pattern repeating machines. We are also meaning making machines. Here's just an example for anybody out there listening If you are not taken stock of how you show up in relationship in your past relationships and you continually are pointing the finger at the other person, you are going to repeat that relationship cycle with every single person that you get in relationship with. Absolutely what will change in that is that you will become a more adept liar and in that what I mean is that you will lie to yourself more effectively, and if you're willing to lie to yourself, you're willing to lie to other people.

Asher Vast: 15:07

It's an unfortunate truth, yeah.

Andrew Carroll: 15:09

Yeah, because we'll go into the widely known book of metaphors, the Bible, just for a second. You love your neighbor as you love yourself, right? That's not a command that is telling you what's going to happen If you love yourself like you're a piece of shit. You're only capable of treating other people like they're pieces of shit If you truly love yourself and you're able to use your voice and say hi, my name is Andrew, and here's what I see when this happens and when I see this and this is happening.

Andrew Carroll: 15:39

This is what I feel and this is what's coming up for me, and here's what I need in this situation. Are you open and available to that? Use a nonviolent communication with myself and others so that I can build relationship? And if this is something that we can't work on together, so glad that we had this opportunity to connect. You're an amazing person. I love. You. Take such good care of yourself. I'm gonna go ahead and look for other options. And that's so scary, in a society that has been molded and formed and programmed, that you must be paired up in order to be valuable. So walk a path alone.

Asher Vast: 16:14

Yeah, especially after being accustomed to having the life of being with someone who you thought was your partner or you thought was going to be there with you forever, after you've built everything up with them, it's so impossible to imagine life without them, to the point where I can understand, like from my own experiences, like when you're talking about lying to yourself and not addressing the challenges that are in front of you, knowing that this isn't the life that you have to live.

Andrew Carroll: 16:45

It's the life that you're choosing to live.

Andrew Carroll: 16:46

Yeah, when you are I mean we can call it when you're still sleeping, when you're not activated, whatever people want to say, right, when someone tells you that you're choosing that, but you're still existing in that place, you're gonna feel some things come up like fuck you, I'm not choosing this, I'm stuck. It's like no, you're not actually stuck, man, but what's happening for you is that the pain of change is still greater than the pain of the current experience. So you're choosing to stay with the devil you know versus going out and finding the one you don't. And I'll tell you what right now, the everything about the devil you don't know is probably better than the one that you know. Like, if you're in that abusive relationship or you're in that place where you're not fulfilled and you are not able to authentically express yourself, you're better off moving on. But there are situations where, if both people are willing to do the work together, that's amazing, because if you're healing together, that bond, that intimacy, all of that is just it's so fucking sexy, absolutely.

Asher Vast: 17:55

It's so sexy man.

Andrew Carroll: 17:56

So I'm not saying like to anybody out there. You have to gauge this for yourself. Relationships are an incredible blessing they are. Being single is an incredible blessing that truly is.

Andrew Carroll: 18:09

These things are all opportunities to be digging in and doing work in different ways, but when you find a partner who's willing to stand by you and do their work while you do your work and you get to be interdependent not codependent, but interdependent that, my friends, is something to really keep an eye on and to cherish and nurture and hold on to, because you can go from being really just a really down, sad, hurt individual in relationship with someone who is very likely in the same place, because a lot of people aren't in relationship like you guys are. A lot of people are in relationship that is based fully on trauma bonds, but you can still provide a platform for one another to heal and grow Full disclosure as you do that. You may end up coming to a point where you're like you know what. We were really not in a healthy place together and I'm glad that we did this work, but I think that maybe we're meant to be with other people now.

Andrew Carroll: 19:06

That's still a beautiful gift. Still a beautiful gift From horror films to you. Yeah, you choose your life I love it.

Asher Vast: 19:14

And, just touching on what you said, we're obviously talking about relationships with partners, a romantic setting like a romantic lifestyle, like being intimately involved with someone, but this also like pertains to friends.

Asher Vast: 19:30

Yeah, yeah Like obviously we're talking about becoming better people and trying to build people up and encourage people to become better versions of themselves, but also sometimes you gotta cut people off. Yeah, there are some people who are not at the same point in their life that you are and you don't need to go through that with them. I've lost friends and I'm not gonna say that I regret it, but there are times in my life where I've had to. I've had to sever my friendship with people because it was detrimental to my life and it was detrimental to my other friendships. I wasn't gonna let that become a toxic part of my life, because you can only do so much for people and so obviously, if you see value in someone and you think you can help them, help them by all means, do everything you can, especially if they're a good friend, like do the work with them.

Asher Vast: 20:31

But if you see they're not doing the work or they're not at a point where they can take that, those steps to make those actions happen, then they need to go and do that work alone or with somebody else, because you can only do so much, and that's been really challenging for me to realize that I can't keep all the same old friends that I used to have, because we're different people, we've grown in different ways and I'd like to think that I'm a better person than I was 10 years ago and because I know that I am in some ways, because I've done the work to be a better person, like to be more responsive to my friends and to be there for them in ways that they need Like. I've always tried to work on that and I think I'm better at that than I was before. But at the same time, you can't help everybody and your own sanity and your own well-being is just as important as any of your friends, and if they're a real friend, they'll understand that.