Manage Your World with Mindfulness

In this transformative episode of "OK State of Mind," we delve into a universally beneficial topic—mindfulness. Our guest, Hailey Hopkins, serves as a clinical supervisor for FCS's LiveWell program, and brings a wealth of expertise to the discussion.

Hailey eloquently defines mindfulness as the art of paying attention in the present moment, devoid of judgment. Throughout the conversation, she generously imparts practical insights on seamlessly integrating mindfulness into everyday life. Addressing common challenges, she sheds light on the physiological benefits that mindfulness can bring to individuals.

Moreover, Hailey underlines the personal and diverse nature of mindfulness practices, emphasizing their profound positive impact on both mental and physical well-being. As the episode unfolds, listeners are treated to valuable resources, offered freely to enhance their mindfulness journey.

The culmination of this insightful episode invites listeners to explore additional resources (free download of the myStrength app at www.fcsok.org/mystrength) for advancing their mindfulness practice. Hailey extends an invitation to experience a guided mindfulness exercise in a separate episode titled "Mindfulness Exercise," providing a hands-on opportunity to embark on a transformative journey toward well-being.

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Thank you once again for accompanying us on the journey. Until next time!

Transcript

Chris: 0:00

Hello and welcome to OK State of Mind, a podcast by Family Children's Services based in Tulsa, Oklahoma. This podcast seeks to satisfy inquisitive minds eager to delve into the realm of mental health and overall well being. Join us on a journey to gain insights into the intricacies of the human psyche, drawing inspiration from stories of resilience and hope. Moreover, we'll unravel the fascinating science, the invisibilia that underpins our behaviors, shedding light on the whys behind our behavior and overall mental health. Our goal is to empower, educate, and inspire you with actionable insights that you can immediately use in pursuing your own mental well being.

Dee: 0:43

Last episode, we spoke with FCS's Senior Program Director for Homeless and Diversion Programs, Kathy Loehr. During that episode, Kathy shared stories of insight and inspiration and she offered practical tips for those who may be seeking homeless and Diversion services as well as those who may want to offer their support in those in need You can hear more on Kathy's insight in episode 5 of the OK State of Mind podcast

Chris: 1:09

Today, we're touching on a topic that stands to benefit every listener mindfulness With us today is Hailey Hopkins Hailey is one of three clinical supervisors for F&CS's LiveWell program, a program dedicated to clients with severe mental illness and chronic medical conditions. Hailey is also a field instructor for interns and a licensed clinical social worker, and she has a bachelor's degree and master's degree in social work from Northeastern State University. She has worked at Family and Children's Services since 2016. Hailey's passion is helping people heal from PTSD, and that's what brings her here today to speak with us about maintaining mindfulness in the midst of everyday life. I'm Chris Posey.

Dee: 1:55

And I'm Dee Harris, and we're your host today on the OK State of Mind podcast. And with that, I want to welcome Hailey

Hailey: 2:02

Thank you.

Dee: 2:03

So, Hailey, let's just start right off and say, let's define what we're going to talk about today. What is mindfulness?

Hailey: 2:10

Well, the most simple definition that I can tell you, it is paying attention in a particular way, which is on purpose, in the present moment with no judgment. The no judgment piece is probably the most important piece.

Dee: 2:25

So what does that look like every day? My alarm goes off, I'm in the routine and I'm realizing that anxiety and stress is starting to come into my life. How do I take that moment in everyday and what does that look like?

Hailey: 2:39

It's really noticing, okay, I'm feeling really anxious right now and that's okay. It's not bad, it's not good, it just is. Pausing and taking a breath. And then moving forward with your life.

Dee: 2:51

So it's kind of funny because when you said I'm feeling anxious I was like, oh my gosh, she's feeling anxious. Yeah. It was kind of interesting.

Hailey: 2:57

And it is, it's okay. I'm feeling anxious about doing the podcast. I've never done a podcast before. And when I came over here, I was feeling pretty anxious so I took some time on the drive to do some mindfulness work on, on the drive. I just was doing my breathing work. Because who hasn't felt anxious?

Dee: 3:13

Oh, I've felt anxious all the time.

Chris: 3:15

Yeah.

Hailey: 3:16

Who hasn't felt stressed?

Chris: 3:17

Yeah. And that's what we were talking about before the session began today, just the sheer universal nature of today's topic. So how can mindfulness help the everyday person, any old person, every person.

Hailey: 3:29

Well, I think it can help you focus. It can help you take those moments to go, Okay, this is how I'm feeling. I'm noticing how I'm feeling. And then it can help you respond in ways that you actually want to respond instead of reacting mindlessly. Mm hmm. Does that make sense?

Dee: 3:45

Absolutely. And I think it's just recognizing that. I think in the moment, at least for me, I can look back and go, man, I was feeling really anxious there. But in the moment, it's almost this fight or flight kind of situation where I'm in it, and I'm doing it, and I don't think, whoa, step back a second. I'm not coping very well. I might need to take a breath. And I think that's the part that I struggle with, and I don't know if anyone else does, but. I just get in that moment and I don't know that I'm not present but I am so absorbed in what's around me that it's difficult.

Hailey: 4:21

I can tell you that everybody struggles with that. There's not a human being on the planet that hasn't been there and done that and struggled with that. I can give a really good example of that. My son was probably two or three when this happened and we're driving down the road and we're in rush hour traffic and I started to get really angry at the person in front of me. And before I could even say anything, I heard this little precious voice in the back seat scream out, Move it, lady! I had taught my son, my two year old son, how to have road rage. He knew what was going to trigger me getting angry at the lady in front of me not getting out of my way because of course me going down the road was the most important thing, right?

Dee: 5:05

You're right.

Hailey: 5:06

And I wasn't acting mindfully and I had taught my son road rage and I thought that's not really good parenting I don't want to model that behavior for my son Right when things are chaotic and things are whatever and I had to take a step back and go okay This isn't really good I need to practice something else and model something different. And so mindfulness can be helpful in that way when we go, okay, in these moments, I'm going to do something different. And what am I going to do different? And so mindfulness can help in those areas too. In modeling behavior for your children, how we're going to act in public, because really who wants to teach their children to scream at people when you're in the car. All right. Nobody wants to teach that. Right.

Dee: 5:41

If you think about it, you know, mindfulness is, I guess at its most simple element is just the breath. It's taking a moment. Is that right?

Hailey: 5:49

It's the breath, but it really is paying attention to what's happening inside of you. Paying attention to what's going on around you. Noticing. Not casting judgment. It's not good. It's not bad. It just is. Not attaching yourself to the thoughts. Not attaching yourself to the emotions. And not saying it's good, it's bad, it's painful, it's ugly, it's this, it's that, it just is, and just moving through it.

Dee: 6:13

Right. And then learning coping mechanisms for moving through it.

Hailey: 6:16

It's responding in a way that aligns with your value system. Instead of just reacting on however you feel, or whatever you think. Sometimes the first thought isn't the right thought. Sometimes the emotion isn't what we think it is.

Dee: 6:32

So is it about also identifying the emotion in the moment?

Hailey: 6:37

Sometimes it can be.

Dee: 6:39

Does that help quantify when you should... Like, I mean, when you're, when you're happy, you know you're happy. When you're joyful, you're like, ooh, I'm feeling joy. But it feels like when you get into those other elements of, like, anger and fear and anxiety and stress, they don't let go. You're feeling angry right now. I mean, occasionally I'll actually do that. And how can I adjust my behavior? I guess the question is here, how, how can somebody take a moment in time and identify the emotion and what to do next?

Hailey: 7:17

Sometimes we don't have to do anything with the emotion though. Sometimes it's okay to just have that emotion and just sit with it. Not every emotion needs or warrants a response.

Dee: 7:29

I love that actually. Mindfulness has gained so much popularity. You see the range. Breath work, yoga, just recognizing your emotions. There's a full gamut I'm sure you could talk about. And it's a tool for managing stress and improving mental health. Obviously, that must be the end goal here. But is there data behind the effectiveness of it? What's the positivity of it? Is there any negative aspect of actually just recognizing the moment? And you were saying, and I love the idea of you don't have to do something with your emotion. You can just say, I'm feeling this. And you can sit with it, which is kind of freeing in a way.

Hailey: 8:07

There's a lot of research out right now about mindfulness and what it can do for your mental health. It can help you increase the ability to process information it can increase the gray matter in your brain, which is associated with compassion and wellbeing, and it shrinks the areas associated with stress. It can improve your ability to focus. It slows the cognitive effects of aging. It reduces stress and anxiety by lowering the levels of cortisol, which is the stress hormone in your body. And it can improve symptoms of depression and it can also help with impulsivity and reactivity. Kind of like what I was talking about with the road rage.

Chris: 8:42

I think we usually think about mindfulness benefiting our mental well being, but when you're presenting the data, you're talking about the gray matter and you're talking about how it shrinks areas of anxiety so there's a real physiological benefit too. It's mental, but there's also a physical aspect. In light of that, is the medical community embracing this idea? Is the medical community implementing this in their practice?

Hailey: 9:07

Yeah, I was on the American Heart Association's website the other day, and they're even promoting the benefits of mindfulness practices for stroke and heart patients. Most recently, I have seen, just recently, two hospital discharge paperwork that, on two people that have discharged from the hospital recently, and both of them for two different medical conditions recommended that patients learned mindfulness practices as a way to help enhance their physical well being. That's just part of it. In addition to follow up with a doctor, taking medications as prescribed, doing physical therapy and different things, that mindfulness was also a part of what the doctors were recommending for these patients for their physical well being, which is great. And this is in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

Chris: 9:53

What else does the data say about the physiological benefits of mindfulness? How it physically, literally, impacts our bodies?

Hailey: 10:01

So it can reduce inflammation. It can support the immune system. It can reduce symptoms of menopause. It can control the brain's response to pain from things like fibromyalgia, chronic neck and back pain, arthritis, and recurring headaches. It can improve sleep. There was a research study out of Massachusetts General Hospital where patients experience a significant reduction in blood pressure after incorporating mindfulness regularly for three months. And it can also help with things like irritable bowel syndrome.

Chris: 10:30

Well, that's amazing. And I'm sure that you've run into people here and there who, who are maybe a little skeptical about the benefits of mindfulness. What kind of roadblocks do you see? What, what challenges have you experienced?

Hailey: 10:45

So far in my practice with clients, People come back and the ones that I hear most often are, the first one is, I can't do it. My mind wanders. And my response to that is, well, welcome to the human race. That's what minds do. All minds wander. And when your mind wanders, the first thing that you do is you just notice that your mind is doing it. And you start over. That's it. Your mind's going to wander and that's just what it's supposed to do. Another one is I don't have time. And I think we're so busy and life is chaotic. We're going from one meeting to the next. We're taking the kids to soccer practices and we've got to go to the grocery store and we've got all these things that we're doing but really we do have time. When you're drinking coffee in the morning and you've gotten up before the kids get up because that's your five minutes in the day, that's the only time that you have to yourself and you're drinking your coffee, you can do mindfulness then. If you're in the shower, you can do mindfulness. When you pull into the driveway after work and sitting in your car, you can do it then. If you get home from work and the first thing that you do is go to Facebook and you're mindlessly scrolling on Facebook and you look up and it's two hours later and you have wasted two hours, you probably do mindfulness then, too. So I think everybody can find a little bit of time in their day to practice some mindfulness. The third one would be it doesn't work. Well, my question to that is always, well, what is your expectation of it working? What does that really mean? People will say, well, I still have these problems, or I'm still feeling this way, or I'm still... Having these strong emotions, or I'm still thinking, or I'm still whatever, my, my dog is still this, or my husband's still that, or whatever. Well, then your expectations are wrong. We need to really look at the expectations of what does it really mean to work. It's not going to solve your problems. You're still going to encounter problems. Everybody encounters problems still. It's part of the human condition. We've got to change the expectation as what does it mean to work.

Dee: 12:41

So what is a realistic expectation?

Hailey: 12:44

I think it's very personal for each person. It depends on what the person is really working on and what their end goal is.

Dee: 12:53

That's so true. Physical health care is very personal, so I don't see why this would be any different. So, I'm guessing, of course, that this transcends age, gender, etc. It could work on anybody. So do you, do any kind of mindfulness with children?

Hailey: 13:09

You can do mindfulness work with, with children. I know in my son's school, whenever he was much younger, they were doing it in the schools. He had a wonderful 5th grade teacher, and he was working with mindfulness with the kids. And so it really, You can work on it with children. You can work on it with adults. I think it's for everybody.

Dee: 13:26

So it's really not a one size fits all approach. It's very personalized. But let's take it to the next level. What are the different forms of mindfulness practices?

Hailey: 13:36

Gosh, there are so many different kinds. When I first started, I really, really struggled with the kind where you just sit down and you're really, really still. That was really hard for me because the content in the room never changed. And I got really annoyed and really bored. And so I discovered that when I went on hikes, And the content was always moving around me and I could practice with everything around me. I could do it for a lot longer and I could clear my mind and I could focus on my breath a lot longer or focus on the content around me a lot longer. And I just felt a lot clearer after that. And I could do it for about two hours.

Dee: 14:15

Yeah, I think getting out into nature is my thing. It's the way that I can clear my head and I think there's probably a lot of people that that's like, it's interesting, you're changing environments. I hadn't thought of it quite that way.

Hailey: 14:27

And then I learned that you can really do anything mindfully. You can work out in the gym mindfully. You can do mindful eating. You can just do mindful breathing work. It really is focusing your attention on one thing. Whether that's a spot on the wall, whether that's on your breathing, whether that's on if you've got chronic pain and you're trying to shift and manage chronic pain and shifting it to a place on your body that isn't hurting. So that... You're not feeling as much of the chronic pain wherever that place is. Let's say it's your back and your back is killing you. If you're focusing on that pain in your back, that's all you're going to feel. It makes that pain so much bigger. But if you shift it to a place where you're not hurting and you focus on that spot, it really starts to minimize the pain. And so, there's different mindfulness techniques and I think trying out different ones as you get started is really good because you get to try a variety and go, okay, what works. What works for me, what doesn't work for me, really more what's helpful for me and what's not helpful for me.

Dee: 15:23

Right. And so you can do it individually or you can join a class and we'll talk about, other resources later, but what advice do you have for people just starting this journey? I think it can be a little bit overwhelming. It's like honing in on, what do I do and where are the instructions and what do I do first?

Chris: 15:42

And how much time?

Dee: 15:43

Yeah.

Hailey: 15:45

I Would say find resources online. Start with guided ones because you don't really know what it is that you're even supposed to do unless you try one out. So find guided resources online find the apps that you need to find and let somebody guide you through it.

Dee: 16:00

Great advice. How can people implement a mindfulness practice both on a case by case anecdotal level in dealing with individual unrelated incidents or a more regular practice like daily, weekly on a more preventative maintenance basis? I mean, do they differ?

Hailey: 16:18

Well, I kind of like to think about it kind of like a fire drill. So, in a fire drill situation, we are practicing the route so that when something shows up, when the actual fire shows up, we know what to do. Right? We practice it in schools, we go through, we're doing it in a way that it's calm, we're in an environment that's calm so that when something shows up, we know how to pull this out of our pocket and we know what to do. And it's the same thing. It's we're practicing mindfulness, we're setting aside time to do these guided exercises so that when we really need it in our lives, we kind of know how to pull this thing out and we know how to use it.

Dee: 16:59

It's a great anecdote.

Hailey: 17:00

Does that make sense?

Dee: 17:01

Absolutely. I think that's a really great way to look at it. It's called practice for a reason.

Hailey: 17:07

Yeah. we're developing a skill. We're building a muscle. Mm hmm. In our bodies. Exactly.

Chris: 17:12

It was interesting earlier you were talking about getting stuck on Facebook for two hours and we maybe could have been practicing some mindfulness during that time. But the truth is our lives are completely inundated with technology, with digital influence. There's really not much escaping it at this point. So, how can we navigate the current digital landscape and maintain a healthy balance between technology and well being, technology and mindfulness?

Hailey: 17:45

It really is about being mindful, right? Noticing, being mindful really is about noticing. Noticing what we're doing. It's that paying attention piece to the definition that we started with in the beginning. Noticing, paying attention, and not judging ourselves about it. Noticing, oh my gosh, I have been scrolling and my eyes have been blurry, and I'm not even paying attention to what I'm doing, and I've been doing this for 30 minutes. It's time to turn this off. And shift.

Dee: 18:15

So how do you practice mindfulness on your own?

Hailey: 18:17

Well, I wake up every morning at five in the morning. I make my coffee. It's the only time in the day that nobody needs me. It's the only time in the day that I really have just for me. And I make my coffee and I go sit back in my bed and I hold my coffee and I start doing my breathing exercises and my mindfulness exercises and I let my mind wander, I let it do what it's going to do and then I bring it back to the present moment. And I focus on my breathing. I do it that way. I do it on my hikes. My hikes are my favorite ways to do it. When I'm hiking because the content is always changing, I focus on everything I can hear first. And I just listen. I just listen. And I hear the birds singing, and I hear the trees, and I hear the leaves crunching under my feet. And then when I get bored with everything I can hear, I shift it to everything that I can smell. And then when I get bored with that, I shift it to everything that I can see. And when I get bored with that, I shift it to everything that I can feel. I can feel my camelback on my shoulders, and I can feel the sunshine on the crown of my head, and I can feel the sweat on my back, and I can feel all those things. And then when I get bored with that, I'll shift it to the next thing. And it's all my senses. And I cycle through that through the whole hike, and I'll do it for about two hours. And by the time I get off that hike, I have mental clarity. There's nothing that I'm thinking about, there's nothing that I'm really feeling, except for just, just kind of cleared out. I also do it when I'm riding my Harley. I mean, when you're riding a Harley, you've got to be pretty focused on the present moment and what's happening. And you've got to have mental clarity. And so, it really helps, maybe it helps me ride my Harley.

Dee: 19:55

Right. Right. I love the idea of using your five senses. I haven't tried that and I'm now wanting to go on a hike.

Chris: 20:05

How frequently do you go on hikes?

Hailey: 20:07

Oh gosh, probably too much. I'm kind of a hiking junkie, but is there too much hiking? I try to go every weekend if I can.

Chris: 20:15

And your morning practice, how long does that last, roughly?

Hailey: 20:19

It's probably about 15 to 20 minutes. Until the dog starts telling me that it's time to get up and let her go outside. But about 15 to 20 minutes in the morning.

Chris: 20:27

So really not too demanding. This is not something that is going to eat up people's schedules. This is something people can do with some degree of regularity.

Hailey: 20:37

You really can do this with some degree of regularity. Yeah. You really can.

Chris: 20:43

So, what benefits have you seen in your own life from practicing mindfulness?

Hailey: 20:47

I've got two really good examples of how it's helped me. Sleep. Sometimes when I get home, and I'm ready to go to bed, my mind is just a mess. I'm thinking about what happened in the day. I'm thinking about what I've got to do. The next day, I'm thinking about my calendar for the rest of the week. I'm thinking about next month. I'm thinking about the bills. I'm thinking about the errands. I'm thinking about the meetings. I'm thinking about all the things and my mind is just going. And then I'm thinking about, Oh my gosh, I've got to go to sleep. And I'm looking at the clock and the clock is ticking. And then I'm really upset because I know I need to go to sleep.

Dee: 21:20

Like the cycle.

Hailey: 21:21

The cycle, right? The rumination. And I'm sure everybody who has busy lives can identify with that. Once I notice that I'm doing that, It takes that noticing piece, and then I go, Oh, there you are, Hailey. And there's no judgment. It's just kind, and it's compassionate. And then I pull it out, and I go, Okay, it's time to do your mindfulness. And, I lay there very still, and I return my attention to my breathing. It's as simple as that. I just focus on the breath. And because I've done the mindfulness exercises so much, it's very easy for me to go, Okay, just turn it to your breath. In a way that's just very kind, it's non judgmental, it's that non judgmental piece. And I turn it to my breath and within 10 or 15 minutes I'm asleep. Works every time. But it's because I've practiced it for so long. Right. And I know how to do it. It's that muscle, it's that fire drill, right? I've done the fire drill so many times that when I need to pull it out, when I notice that I need to pull it out and I can pull it out, done. And it works.

Dee: 22:25

And I'm sure many listeners are out there like, I'm going to have to try that because I have insomnia and I wake up at 3 a. m. and I can't go to sleep. I've done this cycle so many times and then you're like, I'm awake, I need to be asleep. And then, and it's, it's such an interesting mind game.

Hailey: 22:40

I've got another one I found myself in the emergency room and my kidney was enlarging. I had a kidney stone. And if anybody knows anything about kidney stones, it is more painful than giving birth to a baby. And I can vouch. I've done both. And I had to get mindful real quick. And I had to focus on my breath real fast. And I had to redirect my attention from the pain that I was experiencing to my breath. And as I was waiting for the operating room. Did it take away the pain? Absolutely not. Neither did the morphine. Neither did any of the other drugs that the doctors were trying to pump into me. But the mindfulness was the only thing that I could do that made it tolerable until I could get into the operating room. It was the only thing that worked. The drugs didn't work, but the mindfulness did. And that's a pretty extreme example, but it worked for me.

Dee: 23:30

Yeah, but it's also a testament to the power of that. Are there any resources related to practicing mindfulness that you'd like to share?

Hailey: 23:38

Yeah, we have the MyStrength App, and you can find that on our website, fcsok.org. The, MyStrength app is awesome. It has guided mindfulness exercises that you can click on, that you can work on yourself, but it also has different things that you can customize for areas of focus that you want to work on. Anxiety and depression, trauma, bipolar disorder, balancing emotions, and different recovery programs for different things. There is reducing stress, meditation, improving sleep, addressing trauma, all kinds of great things.

Dee: 24:06

And it's free.

Hailey: 24:07

And it's free.

Dee: 24:08

Yeah, so fcsok.org/MyStrength and you can download that app for free and try it out. We have one final question for you what gives you hope as it relates to the practice of mindfulness and people that are struggling?

Hailey: 24:26

I think what gives me hope is when clients come into my office for therapy and they come in and they are just a ball of nerves and sometimes I pull this out and we'll start the session with mindfulness. We'll do a guided mindfulness exercise just to ground, just to start the session, and we'll see what comes up, and sometimes it helps them calm, sometimes something really painful shows up, and it really gives us direction and an area of focus for the session to process through whatever that painful thing is that showed up in session, and it helps guide us on the journey.

Dee: 25:02

That's great. And we're going to share a 10 minute guided mindfulness exercise in a separate episode as it relates to that, the conversation that we had today so that individuals can try it out for themselves. And Hailey, thank you so much. I had an amazing time. I learned a ton and I feel like I need to go on a hike. Me too. You're welcome. Thanks for tuning in. If you found value in what you heard today, there are a few ways you can support and stay connected to us. First, be sure to hit that subscribe button wherever you're listening. Subscribing ensures you never miss an episode and it's absolutely free. It also helps us continue bringing you quality content. Consider leaving us a review. Your reviews not only make our day, but they also help others discover the podcast and join our community. Share this episode with your friends, family, and anyone who might find it interesting. Word of mouth is a powerful way to grow our podcast family, and we truly appreciate your support. We're always eager to hear your thoughts, ideas, and suggestions for future episodes. Visit okstateofmind.com for all of our episodes, and you can also email us at communications@fcsok.org with any episode ideas or questions. We'd love to connect with you and thank you once again for accompanying us on this journey. Until next time.