Welcome to episode #25!
Wow - how did that happen? We feel like we just launched Life Unmastered. Time really does fly! Thank you so much for joining us each week!
In this episode we recap our goals for 2023 and discuss which ones we successfully achieved, the few that are still in progress and one that was a flat out miss.
But we're not just looking back. Join us as we unveil our grand plans, spiritual escapades, and parenting adventures for the upcoming year.
Want to join in on the fun? Share your achievements from 2023 and your wildest dreams for 2024! Connect with us on social media and let us cheer you on!
Thanks for joining us for your weekly dose of confidently unqualified advice!
Let's keep the conversation going! Connect with us below!
Instagram: www.instagram.com/lifeunmasteredpodcast
Email: lifeunmasteredpodcast@gmail.com
Website: www.lifeunmasteredpodcast.com
Welcome to episode #25!
Wow - how did that happen? We feel like we just launched Life Unmastered. Time really does fly! Thank you so much for joining us each week!
In this episode we recap our goals for 2023 and discuss which ones we successfully achieved, the few that are still in progress and one that was a flat out miss.
But we're not just looking back. Join us as we unveil our grand plans, spiritual escapades, and parenting adventures for the upcoming year.
Want to join in on the fun? Share your achievements from 2023 and your wildest dreams for 2024! Connect with us on social media and let us cheer you on!
Thanks for joining us for your weekly dose of confidently unqualified advice!
Let's keep the conversation going! Connect with us below!
Instagram: www.instagram.com/lifeunmasteredpodcast
Email: lifeunmasteredpodcast@gmail.com
Website: www.lifeunmasteredpodcast.com
Hey, hey, welcome back to Life Unmastered. We're doing it again.
Speaker 2:Yep Episode two.
Speaker 1:Episode well, episode 25.
Speaker 2:Well, two this season.
Speaker 1:Yes, but isn't it crazy that we've done 25 of these? Yeah?
Speaker 2:Yep People aren't tired of hearing us talk yet.
Speaker 1:Yeah, are you? Are we tired of talking? No, we'd have a problem.
Speaker 2:I love hearing myself talk. You know that.
Speaker 1:This is true, yeah, so I'm sure everybody notices. Well, we got quite a few people messaging us about this.
Speaker 2:There was a lot of chatter.
Speaker 1:There was. I added the kids voices to the end and the beginning of last week's podcast. They have, like every time we record they're like can we record, Can we record, Can we record? And they've been begging us and so we recorded before one of our episodes and they're the voices were just so cute. When I was playing it back I'm like I have to figure out a way to add this in, and now part of me wants to kind of include it on every single episode. They're just so cute.
Speaker 2:Little sound bite, yeah, yeah, just like at the beginning.
Speaker 1:And so it was Carter at the beginning and Jase at the end last week. So if you miss that, go back and take a listen, because they're they're just the cutest little voices ever. And what else happened last week? Oh, I did a little bit of rebranding for the podcast. I felt like our previous colors were fine with the logo. They were just like they're just a bit much, they're poppy, they're very poppy, yeah, and I needed something that was like more of my vibe, so I went with some neutral colors and I'm, I'm really like I'm feeling really good about it.
Speaker 1:So if you guys want to check out the new like mini rebrand, you can head over to our Instagram page at life and mastered podcast. But I think that's it for like our little updates for the week. We don't have so as much to share now that we're back into like the regular rhythm of weekly.
Speaker 2:Not much has happened in one week.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so, as we talked about at the end of the episode last week, we are going to dive into our goals and intentions for 2024. So last year we had I think that last year would be our first year that we did like, truly like New Year's resolution not resolutions, but like goals.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean I would say last year is the first year I can remember actually following through on anything Like I've made the same New Year's resolutions and stuff that everybody makes. But I think last year was the first time in a long time at least, where I looked back at the year, actually did this in December. I'm like look at the changes we made, like look what happened, we actually grew this year.
Speaker 1:Yeah, which is why I think I prefer, for us personally, the term like intentions, like our year, this is our 2024 intentions. I like that. I like that because one of our biggest ones for last year was starting the podcast and we actually did it, which still blows my mind.
Speaker 2:And we're still doing it, and we're still doing it.
Speaker 1:And we've set a goal for the podcast as a whole, like long term, and so I'm very proud of us for making it happen and following through and sticking with it. Even though it has been more work than we anticipated, it's, it's fun work, um. So we had that. We also, um, at the beginning of last year, wanted to um kind of switch things up with our church and we that was a hard move for us.
Speaker 1:We just felt like we weren't being fed at our old church. It wasn't quite where we felt like we were supposed to be anymore, and that's a big change to make. Yeah.
Speaker 2:We went there for four years. Yeah, I think, if I was looking back on it, the the biggest difference to me was the difference to me now versus where we are is like just the word community, like how many times are like we? We lived maybe 20 or 30 minutes away from our old church, but that's far enough that we necessarily wouldn't see the people we went to church with in our home environment.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Whereas the neighborhood we're in now it's constant. Or I'll be talking to people at church that we're at now and it's like, oh, you live around the corner from me. It's more, it's right at home.
Speaker 1:Right, and I also think that we were more intentional when we started at our new church because we decided to dive in right away. And I think that at the old church it was hard. We were in a different phase of life, the kids were still very young and we're one car family, so that makes things hard too, and with it being that far away it's just difficult. So with this one being right around the corner from us and all the people that attend there being in our community, it's been really great.
Speaker 2:I mean the worship pastor jogs through our neighborhood daily. He's so like we're connected. Every time I see him, I'm so impressed by you. Yeah, it's cold.
Speaker 1:Yeah, or in the summer it was so hot. But like Jason VBS, the last two years, the previous year was at the old church and I swear I would drop him off and come back home. By the time I got home I had to turn around and pick him up again when this last summer. It was just right around the corner. It was so nice.
Speaker 2:Drop him off and get rid of him.
Speaker 1:But we've made some good friends, we're serving there and I'm just, I'm really I'm loving it and I'm so happy that we made that change, even though it was difficult Not necessarily difficult, but just like it's new.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a hard decision to make.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so we also had some financial goals which I think are still we're working towards.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:But we've had, we had positive changes last year that we're continuing over.
Speaker 2:And already seen the benefits of.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:So that's that's huge to me is just our whole financial behavior is what I believe Davis Ramsey refers to it as, but that has shifted in a positive way.
Speaker 1:I will say that you being in charge of the budget and you know you're paying all of the bills, it was a shift that you made much quicker than I did. It took me a long time to catch up and you know kind of I would I would, in all honesty it would be I was just like tired of you like being upset with me every time I'd come home and having to like hear about it Yep. And so now it's like oh, do I really want to deal with him when I get home?
Speaker 2:So this is why nagging is a thing. It works both ways, boys. It works both ways.
Speaker 1:So but now that it's been, you know, over a year and we can see the progress that we've made and how you know, the stress levels going down and all of that stuff, it's like, okay, now I'm on board, I want this to, not that I didn't want it before, but I just didn't understand as much. It's not as easy when I'm not looking at the numbers every day.
Speaker 2:That's what I was going to say. Yeah, cause I almost obsessively look at the numbers every day. So all those pennies or quarters or whatever, I was like, wow, we don't need this. And so when you're not looking at it, it's easy to think everything is good, it is great, and not that things were bad, but it could have been better.
Speaker 1:So yeah, and not even like every day. You know how much I spent at the grocery store before I get home from the grocery store.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So anyways, I mean my defense, okay, my defense. Usually, when you're out with the kids and everything else, if I text you or if, like, I think you're, like you've been gone longer than I expect and I want to like follow up with you. A lot of the time I'm checking like, okay, she was already at the grocery store, she's probably on her way home now. Like it's not necessarily cause I want to know how much you spent. It's cause where are you in the scheme of things? Cause you're busy. You got stuff going on. You're not exactly answering her texts right away.
Speaker 1:So you're stalking me.
Speaker 2:I mean it's kind of, yeah, but it's in a loving way, which I think that's what all stalkers say, but like, maybe that's just like in a married way is how I should say it. No, I know you're just checking on me. Yeah, which the roads are crazy.
Speaker 1:They are. And on a same note, but also different note, I went to the store today with the kids which I haven't been doing because they're in school now and I was like I just want to get it done today so that tomorrow I don't have like anything on my to-do list. Bad idea, yeah, it's not worth it, it's just, it's so hard especially cause they're bigger now and I can't be putting them in the car anymore and they're just like running around like crazy and I'm like, okay, lesson learned and not doing this anymore.
Speaker 2:Those are the real heroes, those, those moms out there with multiple kids running around the store.
Speaker 1:I just I don't even know what people do who have like more than two Like you don't have enough hands for them all.
Speaker 2:Tell the big one to watch the small one.
Speaker 1:There you go, so lots of positives for last year and our intentions, and one negative, and I think this has been on our list for like five consecutive years. What's the negative? The garage.
Speaker 2:Pump the brakes. The garage is not a negative. We made huge progress on the garage. You wouldn't know it if you looked in it. Well, part of that isn't our fault, like the other, like a lot of the new clutter and stuff in the garage is because the kids have outgrown their bikes, their scooters and stuff like that and we're just in the process of getting rid of the old so we can store the new. But a lot of the junk and trash and stuff we cleaned out so many boxes. We cleaned out almost every box we had from moving in that we never touched, like we made progress.
Speaker 1:That's true. I still get stressed and overwhelmed when I walk into it, though.
Speaker 2:Like I just oh no, it's messy and it is definitely. We definitely have some more work to do on it. But considering like, at this point it's basically like we we at least have the piles down of like that needs to be donated, that can just be thrown out Like the bulk of the heavy lifting is done.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree, so still still on our list now for 2024.
Speaker 2:Let's be honest, the garage was cold. You're not going out there and cleaning it when it's 30 degrees.
Speaker 1:I now fully understand the term spring cleaning.
Speaker 2:Yeah, cause you can't do it in the winter. It's freezing in there.
Speaker 1:So, anyways, moving into 2024, we've got new goals and intentions and I'm really excited about them. I will say that this year, I think we have more of a focus on ourselves individually, which I think is okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, cause last year we wanted to do something together, which was ended up being the podcast.
Speaker 1:Yeah, which we're still doing, but also to like the financial goal is something we work on together.
Speaker 2:Correct yeah.
Speaker 1:And we're doing it like that in the church. So this year I think that we have consciously made intentions for ourselves in, you know, a personal way, a spiritual way and with our parenting. So I wanted to kind of go over those, because we're almost a month into 2024. And I think that we've made some improvements and I think that there are things that I haven't even started yet or that I'm already failing, which I think is pretty normal. But I wanna kinda like get back at it.
Speaker 2:You made it farther than most people.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I think we should start with our personal goals, so I'm gonna let you jump in that first. What is like your biggest personal goal for this year?
Speaker 2:Well, I did kind of have a personal goal for last year, which was I wanted to be more organized and spend my time better. Like there's a lot of time in the day and I felt like so much of it was wasted on, like YouTube or too many video games or something along those lines. So I got a planner and it wasn't actually it wasn't a planner, it was just a calendar. But on that calendar, like, I was able to record like everything I was doing. But I was putting stuff on there that didn't need to be on there, like I'm gonna work out today, I'm gonna read my Bible, I'm gonna pray, like, and then it just which was fine, because it was something I saw every day that I was like, oh, I need to do this and I started doing that. But by about halfway through the year of treating life like literally a chore list that I was just checking off, I got burned out like really bad.
Speaker 1:I can relate to that, because I like putting things on my list that I know I can check off, but then it just becomes overwhelming.
Speaker 2:or you miss something and you're like, oh, I failed the whole day, and then but I was looking back- on it Like originally, I wanted to like see progress and be motivated to like, for instance, read my Bible more. Like hey, you read your Bible every day this week, let's keep going. And eventually it just turned into like this chore list that I was just so upset that, like you don't have to micromanage the day that much Like there was no room for freedom in there.
Speaker 2:And so, like I did feel productive for a while, but to piggyback on that for 2024, my goal is to, like I always make this mistake and I don't think I think a lot of people make this mistake of that didn't work in the end, like I was planning too much but there was progress. So, like build on what the like I was productive in a way. Like take what's good and get rid of the bad. Like don't micromanage my day, but continue to plan out and have goals that I can like achieve without filling in every hour of my day.
Speaker 1:So you're just modifying it.
Speaker 2:Correct. But like that's what I think this is like. To me it's like so profound I'm sure like all the other adults in the world have already figured this out Like yeah, thanks, but like don't start over. Like don't throw everything out. Like oh, the end result was bad, Therefore the entire process must be wrong. Like no, take what worked in the process and build on that. And like that's what I look at. I'm like well, that sounds like growth, like I might actually be becoming a real boy.
Speaker 1:Like I don't you know what I'm saying? Yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 2:So I wanna do that and I just find a way to continue to build on these things and so far it's worked out pretty well.
Speaker 1:Good. Do you have any other personal goals?
Speaker 2:Yes, I am very manic and obsessive. Obviously We've talked about that a little bit.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:Yep, yep. And one of the things that I have done throughout my professional life is I am that guy who, if I get an email 10 minutes before work ends on Friday, like I have to answer that email, like I don't want there to be email in my inbox at work going into the weekend. And I need to learn.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I've started leaning this way more. But it's okay to leave stuff on the to-do list and in the like email inbox, Like it's not that important.
Speaker 1:I get that because if you know when you're leaving on Friday that you have something, it kind of looms over you or you like get stuck in the back of your head and you kind of start thinking about it all throughout the weekend, so I can see why you would want to not have to, to get that done so you don't have to think about it during the weekend.
Speaker 2:That's how it starts and that's what, originally, I think, my thought process was, but for some reason, like my value came from, like knowing I was like on top of things that way, and what's funny is I would agree with you like, oh, that's my thought, but it's not because you know. Like even on the weekday, like once work stops, like you're not gonna get a hold of me on my phone, like I put my phone down and I walk away. Like I have no access to like email. Like it can be an emergency you can be texting me or whatever, like I'm out, I don't care and so I want to carry that over in that form of like just being okay with having a to-do list, basically Like that doesn't have to get done right away.
Speaker 1:I wonder. There's a lot of times where it'll be like your final day and then it's like that last 10 minutes of the day. All of a sudden you come out from work and you're like so irritated, Like what in the world happened?
Speaker 2:Yeah, what changed?
Speaker 1:And I wonder if it was just like you're just frustrated that you had to deal with this thing like right when you're about to walk out of work.
Speaker 2:Yep, and so in that it carries over into everything and, like we heard, pastor Daniel was talking about this the other day of like, why did I respond that way in that conversation? And burnout can happen, whether it's because of a calendar or because of work or anything else, and it affects all of your other relationships.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that makes sense. Well, I'm glad that you're working on those things, especially cause that's been something that you've done for like since I've known you.
Speaker 2:So yeah, my growth is like tortoise level, Like this is why I'm just becoming a real boy right now is cause we've been together forever and I'm just now figuring out like I'm not that fun to be around when I have stuff in my email. This is true.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this is true.
Speaker 2:You're welcome.
Speaker 1:Is that your last one? That's it.
Speaker 2:Okay, very simple.
Speaker 1:So mine are not as deep at all.
Speaker 2:All right, I knew I'm very cultural. I don't know if that applies, but I feel like it does. You're so important, so smart, sophisticated is that the word I'm going for, maybe Deep philosophical.
Speaker 1:Whatever you need, whatever you need to, you know, puff up that test.
Speaker 2:Somebody fill in the blank of the word that I don't know.
Speaker 1:Mike is.
Speaker 2:Great, there's the contest.
Speaker 1:So mine would be. I want to start journaling in a few different ways. So I originally was like I want to start. You know I love to read. How can I piggyback on that? Do the reading journal? I were what a few three weeks into January and I'm already like this is a bad idea. I feel like it's adding a chore to my hobby of reading.
Speaker 2:So you were like writing many book reports about what you read.
Speaker 1:And not many book reports. But, like you can do, like reading trackers and how many books did you read this month and which one was your favorite one and write a review and rate it.
Speaker 2:I mean, I already rate my books, but I could see how that would be beneficial for somebody like me who has a hard time, like it takes me what six months to read like a children's book. But like you read like six books a week, you don't need more motivation to read.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know if that's why people do it. I see a lot of people do it and I was like, oh, that looks fun, but it just felt like such a chore and I felt like I'd get to the end of the book and I was like I'll do that later. And then I've got three books that I need to follow up on already and I'm like I forget it.
Speaker 2:You're giving yourself homework. Yeah, and I was like this is stupid and why am I?
Speaker 1:doing this. So I think there's, you know, just another reminder too. Sometimes we set goals and it's like this is not a goal that I need or it's not working for me. This didn't you know, so I've already ditched that one.
Speaker 2:I've heard you say this twice now this year and I don't know if you were going here and I'm sorry if you were, but basically like it sounds like this is not fun, why am I doing it? I'm not wasting my time on that and that's a new thing for you this year.
Speaker 1:I mean there's a lot of things that I'll stop just because I become unmotivated on you know whatever. But I feel like there's some things that I follow through on just because I've started it and I feel like I need to finish it. That is not like it's not work, it's not something to do with parenting or our marriage, it's just like fluff. But I've committed to it and I feel like I have to do it and I'm like why?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I should have specified, I believe you were reading a book that you made it like two chapters into, whereas before, like you said, you would finish the book even though you weren't into it and didn't like it. But this year I heard you. You were like I'm two chapters in, I don't like it, this is a waste of time. So it's like you put a greater value on your time than like the accomplishment, which is to me very smart.
Speaker 1:Yes, so there's this phrase that they use, like in the reading world like D N, f did not finish and I was like how can you get partway through a book and not finish it, like, even though it sucks, like, are you?
Speaker 2:curious.
Speaker 1:Curious. Maybe it's going to get better. And especially on the books that, like, people highly recommend and I'm just like I have to finish this. Everyone else liked it and so I mean I. Last year I had like five one star books that I'm just like these. These were awful. I can't believe I read them. I was so angry once I was done with them. And now this year. Yeah, I'm just like this is. I'm not liking the vibe, this is. I feel like this is a chore. I'm done, I'm over it.
Speaker 2:I'll move on. Time is more valuable.
Speaker 1:Yeah, especially when, like I said, it's a hobby. It's not, it's something I'm supposed to be enjoying.
Speaker 2:Correct.
Speaker 1:It's you know. You know who else used to do this. All the time is you with your video games.
Speaker 2:The whole time you were talking. I'm like you're preaching to the choir baby, like that is. I do it constantly. And again, it's the same. I think I gave you the same reasoning of I'm not wasting my time with this, just delete it and hide it, and I'm done Like, but you didn't use to know exactly. I used to do the same thing, Like I had to finish this game. You're like why are you playing this game? You already having fun playing it? I'm like because I got to finish.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so, but as far as there's other journaling that I want to do, I definitely want to do the prayer journal. It's something I've been talking about for so long and I think because, especially now that we're getting older, I have such a hard time remembering things that I've prayed about or that I want to pray about, like I think about it in the moment, I pray about it in the moment and then it kind of like gets forgotten, but mostly because I want to be able to give more praise for, for answered prayers, and it's hard for me to, you know, even remember or realize that, like, hey, god answered this prayer.
Speaker 1:So that's when I want to do my daily planner. I want to be using it all the time. There's plenty of things that I forget, like canceling free trials, or, you know, the kids have their registration, club signups, all these things that I'm just like three days go by and I'm like, oh crap, that was supposed to happen three days ago. So I have used my planner every single day. It's working for me.
Speaker 1:I found one that I absolutely love and I have it in both physical and digital form and it's working great. I love it. So that's great. And also I want to be getting better about writing recipes down, which I don't know if this is technically journaling it's probably it's, it's not but I have so many screenshots in my phone or recipes on Pinterest that the link ends up being broken. Then I can't like see this recipe that I've made 10 times before, and so I have a recipe box that you got me and recipe cards and it seems kind of like outdated, especially with, like, the world of technology. But I want to go back to, you know, adding those things down.
Speaker 2:I like it.
Speaker 1:I think it's like classy and like it makes me feel homie when we get out the box and we're going to cook something you know so in addition to like not being able to find a recipe and like my gajillion photos on my phone also I can't tell you how many times I pull out my phone to look at a recipe and gets distracted.
Speaker 2:Burn down the kitchen.
Speaker 1:Not that distracted, but I just like I won't even start dinner because I got distracted on Pinterest or something you tell me, like the meat didn't defrost in time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know, I know this game.
Speaker 1:I mean, it's true. Yeah so there's just a few reasons why I want to do that, but yeah, and then you know ones we've talked about before. Back to reading. Reading is very important to me, apparently recently.
Speaker 2:That's all you do.
Speaker 1:I love it so much, but I want to start branching out. I talked about this a little bit in a previous episode, but beyond, like my typical genres, I want to start actually reading books that are like not self-help-y, but what's the word I'm looking for?
Speaker 2:I don't know the word and I'm laughing because you said self-help, because I think I suggested to you one time you should read some self-help books. You did and I meant what you're trying to say and we still don't know the right word. But guys, do not tell your wife that she needs to read self-help books. No matter how you explain it, it does not end up well.
Speaker 1:It wasn't even that you suggested it. It was time and place. Babe, like I was like in the middle of like being fresh with the kids, like trying to finish up dinner, and I'm like talking to you about like I don't know what and you're like you should try reading some self-help books. I'm like what are you trying to tell me so? But like I've got the modern day pilgrims progress that I want to read. That's not self-help, but that's a story, right.
Speaker 2:It's definitely outside your like usual genre.
Speaker 1:Right, but I think that it'll benefit me by reading it. So yeah, that's kind of like there's another one. You got me one for Christmas. Is that self-help or is that like it's kind of is?
Speaker 2:I don't. We need to stop saying self-help.
Speaker 1:I know, because that's not the right word. I know Personal growth would be how I would describe it. That's great.
Speaker 2:Yes, and both of those books would be considered spiritual growth, if you were gonna like try to classify them.
Speaker 1:Perfect. So that is that is. My goal is to read some of those books.
Speaker 2:The self-help ones. I hate you. There's a book for that yes.
Speaker 1:So let's move into spiritual goals. What are yours?
Speaker 2:Very easy. It's kind of a piggyback off the personal where I felt very strongly that towards the end of the year I was reminded that my time with God, my quiet time with Him, is not something to be checked off a list as if it's like a chore or like, oh well, I did that for 10 minutes, I'm good, or however long, and so I want to be intentional with that time and actually like switch my thinking from I got to to I get to and actually take advantage of that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I do think that sometimes along the way it has to be a checklist type thing so that you can get yourself in the routine of it or, you know, back on track. But it shouldn't be that, shouldn't be an always thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's. It's that simple really is just making finding different ways, just like you want to alternate on, like projects and stuff. For me it would be connecting in different ways, like it doesn't always have to be like, no, you read your Bible at this time of the day every morning. It could be like, hey, instead of reading today, I'm going to listen to a worship music or I'm going to walk, which I do a lot now. Like there's different ways to keep it fresh or interesting or however that's supposed to be stated.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that makes you do go on a lot of walks. You told me this story the other day about that girl on on Tiktok or something gosh, we're doomed.
Speaker 2:They call it quiet walking. There's all these tiktok influence people who think they invented Going on walks without music or podcasts or headphones. You just walk with your thoughts man.
Speaker 1:People are so inventive.
Speaker 2:Yeah, been on this planet for thousands of years and this woman is the first one to go on a walk without headphones.
Speaker 1:But what blows my mind is like how they truly feel no, they think they invented it.
Speaker 2:Like they think there's this literal whole Group and they probably all listen to Taylor Swift and they probably all just hey, now. I just had to throw that in there.
Speaker 1:Such a hater.
Speaker 2:They just.
Speaker 1:Okay, so for mine, mine's kind of piggybacking off of the prayer journal I want to be more intentional about my prayers. I talked about that a little bit already, but not only just with me, but with the kids. So the kids are alternating praying at dinner and we're always surprised by the things that come out of them Pleasantly surprised, and so I want to build on that, like their confidence in that. And then I want to be working on the praise reports. And why are you laughing?
Speaker 2:My favorite is Carter thanking God for hydration, like every prayer every prayer she thanks God for hydration and when she has so, her teachers. Tell me that too. When she prays at school, she always thinks him for hydration.
Speaker 1:I don't know where that started and I never see her drinking water. That's why she prays for it. She's like I will refuse to drink this water, but please keep me hydrated.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like if it cracks me up.
Speaker 1:Yes, every time. But what I mean is like I want to Help them to where they're. They're not just saying words. Yeah, it's something that they're, you know, understanding what they're asking and who they're talking to, and that respect factor there too.
Speaker 1:Because how many times are we praying and Carter like runs off to like find something in the middle of prayer, and so I think that through that, that'll just naturally help me too.
Speaker 1:So I like yeah, that's kind of like my yeah, but also too this is something that you mentioned Early on and then it's also in my daily planner of like something to be thankful for every single day, and that has been I just like write one single thing down, whatever it is.
Speaker 1:So, you know, the other day it was like I'm thankful for modern technology because we're able to, you know, have these telehealth appointments, and I'm thankful for our home because we've got the space for the kids to run around, even when we have to work and they have no school because, you know, snow day or whatever. There's all these things that are like in the moment it's frustrating that we're having to work and the kids have to be home and it's too cold for them to go play outside, but at the same time, like there's something to be thankful for in that and that has been really good for helping me, like Mindshift. So that's something I'm hoping to kind of continue on, because it's can be very hard, especially for me, to get frustrated and then Not be able to like find my way out of that for the entire day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I'm not allowed to comment, but yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, you're one to talk, Um. So yeah, those are my Spiritual goals. Anything I'll dive into parenting, something kind of you, you were, you were grouping.
Speaker 2:that's why I was saying it was a twofer, it was good.
Speaker 1:I was getting to an. So I had this thing. That's been going on for a while now six years. Where I see pictures of the kids, whether they pop up on On, you know they. That was like memory things that Apple makes for you.
Speaker 1:Yeah or Carter, like when we've got extra time before school starts, she wants to look at old baby photos and I just it Depresses me. I don't look at these photos and I'm like, oh Like I remember that, or I'm just straight up depressed. I am so sad that they're already five and six. I don't know where the time went. I hardly remember certain things that I see on there, or I'm just, I look at it, I'm just like you were literally that little and now you're standing in front of me and full assess and.
Speaker 1:Like, so you know asking me questions and and speaking, and you know reading Jace's reading.
Speaker 1:Yeah like how did this happen? And it just makes me so sad. I just feel like the time goes by too fast, I feel like I'm missing out and I feel like I'm present but not present and I don't know. Like part of me is like how do I fix this? Or is this just part of life? Is this just part of being a parent? So I Am trying to be more intentional. I feel like you and I have done good Over the you know, past few years of trying to you know, not have our phone at the dinner table and you know Make small changes to be more present. But I feel like I need more.
Speaker 2:Yes, put it in hyperdrive.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I read this thing about 10 minutes of uninterrupted time, like spending, spent with your kids. It's focus time. You, you are not having the TV on, you're not having your phone on, you're not doing anything, you're not multitasking, you're not making dinner while you're, you know, spending the time with them and you're doing something that they want to do. And it doesn't only have to be 10 minutes. It can be 10 minutes three times a day or whatever. And even if I did 10 minutes three times a day with both kids, that is only an hour of my day.
Speaker 1:Yeah which is so little time still, when you think about it but it's planned time so they can think about what they want to do during that time and and there's no rushing, because I know that this time is, you know, cut out, carved out just for them, and I think that it's going to, you know, help me to be more present. Help me to, you know, build our relationship, build our trust and Learn more about them, and you know I how badly they want our attention all the time. So that's something that I'm going to work on. It's it seems like, it seems so little, almost seems silly saying it like Just 10 minutes, you know, like it almost seems like not enough if it's something that you want to work on.
Speaker 2:I think it's important to start, like on a step, like we were talking about this the other day of having goals, like your goals might be lofty, but set a goal that leads in that direction, that you can actually like, achieve and then build on it.
Speaker 1:Right, well, I mean, when you break it down, you know the kids are. They wake up in the morning. You know we've got our morning routine and then they head to school all day and then, as soon as we come home, we are doing homework, we're making lunches for the next day, we're doing dinner, we're cleaning up dinner, we're doing bath time, like. So really, where do you fit that 10 minutes in?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And so I. It's like so. At first I was like man, what kind of mom do I sound like? I was like I have to make 10 minutes for these kids.
Speaker 2:Doesn't sound great. It does it right. Yeah, but then when?
Speaker 1:you actually break it down like it's 20 minutes cause there's 10 for each kid, and then it's like you there really is so little free time in our days, now that they're in school, yeah.
Speaker 1:And so I think that spending that time is going to be so important with them and, like I said, it can start as 10, the goal is 10 minutes, but it can go beyond that and so, anyways, but more, more I want to. You know, on the weekends we planned ahead with getting all the board games and all that stuff and we want to be doing that. You know, we try and do the crafts and activities with the kids. We've been doing those Kiwi Co boxes with your brother and Jill got for them, which they're so fun and we love them, and that's like intentional time spent with both of them. So that's just kind of like. My goal is like really just slowing down and being present and waiting until they're in bed to be checking Instagram or anything like that, which, or reading whatever.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, that's kind of like my big parenting one, but also with discipline. I think this is for both of us. So we're trying to be more mindful and consistent with the discipline for the kids. So my thing is like I want to not go overboard.
Speaker 2:So they do something little, but they've done it 600 times and now I'm just like you know you're grounded for a year, you know we never do that, but it's funny, cause, like I feel like we always say that and like every parent's like, well, of course I'm not gonna do that. That doesn't make sense. And then in the moment, like I have taken away more toys for life than I can count.
Speaker 1:Yes, or you know we take it away and then like an hour later, like can I have that back? And like are you gonna do that again?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and of course they are. And we give it that, yeah, this game we've created with them.
Speaker 1:Hey, right, and so, and they you know kids are so dang smart and so they know how to you know, they know us and they know how to figure out. You know where to push and what to say to get their way and stuff. So I'm trying to be, have them calmer reactions and even take time between what happens and what their discipline is. So right now I need you to go take a break, go head to your room and I'm gonna talk to dad or I'm gonna think about what your punishment's gonna be rather than just like a knee jerk.
Speaker 1:You know reaction and like throwing something out.
Speaker 2:Is that rule? I always feel like I make this mistake. It's supposed. I thought I heard somewhere where with dogs it has to be like instant, Otherwise they don't know what they're being punished for.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And for some reason I basically applied that to children, where it was like, if I don't have a punishment right now, they're gonna forget why they're being punished where you're right to send them to the room, like, instead of like freaking out on them, just send them to the room, take five minutes and have like an actual thought process of, oh, this is appropriate.
Speaker 1:I'm 100% guilty of that too, and maybe it's cause we had Dewey before we had kids.
Speaker 2:I think it's cause they're just, they're the same things.
Speaker 1:But I remember we were out somewhere and we were like, okay, when you get home, this is what's gonna happen. And then, by the time they got home, it's like well, they're in a better mood, everyone's happy. Like, should I still punish them right now? Like, do I wanna have them be upset when everyone's happy right now? And I feel like we need to start following through on that or stop saying when you get home, x, y, z is gonna happen.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So yeah, all kinds of things. I feel like this is just gonna be one of those things where, as a parent, you're just having to constantly evolve and constantly fix and change things and switch things up as they get older and as you figure out that you're failing in certain areas or whatever, or so make adjustments. Yeah, All right. Did you have any parenting goals?
Speaker 2:I mean it's same thing along those lines. Well, jace is very into sports. Now, all of a sudden and I'm very much aware that I have failed him in teaching him about sports- You're always so harsh.
Speaker 1:I wouldn't say you failed him, it just I mean he was interested in before he.
Speaker 2:There's been some stuff so either way. But we got him like the baseball and the glove Football stuff like that, so working those into like weekend activities of let's go throw the football around, let's go do this, and it kind of started once he picked up cross-country really.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I have like doing stuff with him that was physical, like that, plus it's just healthier for him. And then also which we've had some pretty good success with and I'm pretty proud of. This one is the boy needs to eat vegetables and we have been terrible about making him eat vegetables and it's been some experimenting, but even in the first couple weeks, not only does he regularly Carrots at least it's something but we've also got him to try all sorts of other food that he normally would refuse to, to actually give an honest opinion of I like that or I don't like that, and I've been surprised a couple times.
Speaker 1:So when you first started this mission, we got three. We got cucumber, celery and carrot and we told him he could pick. I prepped him all yep and he, literally he chose celery you would thought he was dying.
Speaker 2:He would, he gagged like every bite, every bite and then, like full on, screamed and ran to his room, and so I had. I followed him up there with a piece of celery. You would have thought it was like a crucifix to a vampire.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So then he was like dead set on. Like celery is what it is. I'm like why don't you try a carrot? Mm-hmm? And he tries to care. It's like mom, this tastes like ice cream. Yeah, I'm like, okay, so you like the case. He's still wanted the cucumber. It's a step in the right direction.
Speaker 2:Yeah oh, and you did get him to eat the entire broccoli rather than just like, yeah, he used to just eat the top, like tree looking part of the broccoli. But now he knows he has to eat the stem and he says I don't like the stem. And I'll tell him that's fine, you're still eating it and he's doing it. So I it's again. It's like I've 2024 I'm gonna be a real boy and a real dad.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's what's happening. I am very proud of the whole vegetable thing.
Speaker 2:I mean that's up there with me deciding to give him a spoon that one time. Do you remember that?
Speaker 1:I still can't believe this is something you talk.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like he wasn't eating when he was a little kid, because he had a fork and I realized it's because he was having hard time. So I gave him a spoon and that was my best moment as a parent and five years later, we're still celebrating it Yep, good job, yep another thing that you've started is chores. Oh, that's, right. Yeah, I'm tired of doing all the chores.
Speaker 1:So Carter feeds King every night now. Yep and when she's home on the weekend, she'll do like his lunch and dinner. Yeah, if she's around and then Jayce takes out all of the trashes, so in all the bathrooms laundry room.
Speaker 2:And they both make their beds every morning, make their beds every morning.
Speaker 1:So we're starting there and they're wiping down the sink now because, my goodness, yeah, they get toothpaste everywhere.
Speaker 2:How so bad?
Speaker 1:Yeah. So they've got a few things and right now they get. If they do all and they have to do all of them if they miss, if they're, you know, throwing a fit about it, then they don't get it. But right now they're getting a dollar a Week what they do, everything and they are.
Speaker 2:So. I was watching a clip from the Andy Griffin show, which took place in the 40s or the 50s I think, and he only gave his kid a quarter. I think he was on to something.
Speaker 1:So it's gonna take them quite a bit of time to save up for a toy, but they are just like over the moon when they get that dollar Yep and they put it in their little wallet. So I think we are Building some good habits and we talked about this a little bit, a few episodes back about the tablets at the table, and then we had dinner with my brother and he totally judged us for the tablets at the table.
Speaker 2:He did.
Speaker 1:He said he wasn't, but he did yes, so I made restaurant bags and it. They don't work at every single restaurant because some of the tables are too small and it just doesn't work, but they were a huge hit and they don't get access to those items that are like special for the bags, so they're exciting every time. Also, we're not eating out as much because of our financial problem kind of took care of itself. Yes, but we're making good progress with with the kids this year. I'm yes. This was only took us six years.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this was episode about how great we are, I guess no, it's just talking about the things that we are improving on, and we've already had some success, which is great, and hopefully we can continue to and in six months We'll have the follow-up episode about how all that is out the window.
Speaker 1:Think positive. All right, that was a long one, if you're still with us. Thanks for listening. I want to know what you guys have. Did you make goals, resolutions or intentions for 2024? What are they? Are any of them the same as ours? Did any of our intentions spark anything for you guys Share with us? You guys can send us an email at life and mastered podcast at gmailcom, or you can shoot us a DM on Instagram at life and mastered podcast until next week. Bye.
Speaker 2:Bye.