115. Life with Passion: Christine Amerman

When the weight of societal norms and gender roles feels like a mountain on your shoulders, where do you find the strength to climb? Christine Amerman joins me in a heart-to-heart conversation that uncovers the realities women confront while seeking professional triumph and personal contentment. Together, we grapple with the guilt that plagues the quest for work-life balance and dismantle the myths of "having it all." As a father of three daughters, I bring my own struggles to the table, discussing the pressures that are reshaping the roles women and men play in our rapidly changing world.

Safety, security, and the ever-elusive harmony between empathy and leadership dominate our powerful exchange. While I share insights on the challenges of raising daughters in a society filled with both progress and confusion, Christine bravely opens up about her transformative journey through PTSD and anger issues, emphasizing the role of therapy and faith in personal evolution. This episode transcends traditional frameworks of gender roles, touching on the complexities of relationships and personal growth, and the challenges that arise from dating apps to the unexpected consequences of self-improvement on long-standing partnerships.

The narrative culminates in a rich discussion about the authenticity of professional and personal pursuits. Christine, with her passion project Life with Passion, sheds light on authentic business marketing strategies, encouraging listeners to avoid toxic practices and embrace genuine connections. We ponder the courage it takes to defy labels and pursue one's mission, celebrating the transformative power of shared experiences in healing and growth. Join us for this empowering exchange that will leave you inspired to navigate life with authenticity and courage.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:09

What's up, warriors? Welcome back to the battlefield of the mind. I'm Rick, creator of the Warriors Way of Mindset, and today I am with Christine Ammerman, and we got to find out who the heck is Christine, what she does, what's her passion and how she's going to change the world. So, christine, I'm throwing the ball to you who?

Speaker 2: 0:26

are you? Thank you, rick. Who am I? So I would say I am a passionate, heart-driven person who loves to help people, and that's kind of the theme of my whole life. The way that I have helped people is by helping them share their stories.

Speaker 2: 0:46

So whether I've been marketing for somebody behind the scenes for their business, or whether I've been helping them grow their small business in a way that's right for them. I've also been a professor. I've broadcast the Olympics three times so I got to help bring those stories of those amazing athletes to the world. I've been a documentarian. I just I love people and I love helping people. As cheesy as that might sound, those are some of the specific ways that I serve, and in my personal life, the people that I get to help the most are my four and seven-year-old daughters, and so my business is built so that I can pick them up from school every day, and I'm a single mom, and so I have a lot of passion for helping people who look, maybe, and feel different than the person who's the most often lifted up as the success story online.

Speaker 1: 1:43

I'm curious what you mean by that, because when I talk to my ladies, they're under a lot of assault from social media with those exact type of things Like what's the right way or the like, as you said. Like I don't fit the normal mold here. I'm trying to build my own thing, but there's a lot of pressure on women these days to be boss babes and then cross fit champions, and then they also have to be super moms and then they also have to like they have like a hundred different things they do and then also have all the two daughters, make sure they're all matching in the pumpkin patch with their perfect smiles and everyone's never had a problem Like these personas and these profiles that people put out there. It's putting a lot of pressure on women when it comes to authenticity. What are some of your observations that you're trying to like? Help people through so they don't feel so confined to the comparisons?

Speaker 2: 2:32

Yeah, that's a great question. I think it comes from this. You know, the comparisons come from this idea of like. Well, somebody just said to me yesterday this is really the first generation where women's, you know, achievements and things have been celebrated. And I said 50 years ago we couldn't even get our own bank account. Like, let's not talk and I'll stop. Like, oh, this is the first generation like, whatever you know.

Speaker 2: 2:56

So what I think I think it's much more than that. I think it's this perception, and what's being marketed and what's being sold is that we can have it all and therefore, that we should, and that we should be able to you can, so you should? Yeah, like, because we can, because we have this opportunity, because our grandmothers and our mothers maybe didn't, because, because, because, and so it's, it's kind of ingrained in a way that like I get to have my career and I get to have my kids, and like it's not supposed to be one or the other, and also this and also this, and it needs to look a certain way because of, of course, yes, what we know about social media and the average of what that does to us, and so all of these things combine and it's like, I think the expectations are absurd.

Speaker 1: 3:45

Give me an example of absurd expectations, because I think that these are the attacks on women. So, like, how do you go? Like, hey, watch out, this one's one of the absurd ones, don't fall for it.

Speaker 2: 3:55

Yeah, I think it's the, the guilt of like feeling bad about not being with my kids when I'm working and then feeling bad about the opposite, about not working when I was my kids, because my business is my baby and so are my kids Right, and so it's this. I think it like to your point. It's the comparison. I see it all the time. A lot of the people who have the biggest success, like in my industry, are young, single dudes and when we look behind the scenes, all they're doing is working. Maybe they're hitting the gym at 10 at night, like they tell me these things Right, and so they're doing that.

Speaker 2: 4:38

And what the statistics show us is that 90% of high income earners have a partner at home supporting them, no matter the education level, no matter the career trajectory formerly of that partner.

Speaker 2: 4:50

That partner is at home because it just makes more sense on paper to have somebody taking care of everything else. That person can go work and make the money. Well, usually that's falling on the shoulders of the woman who, stereotypically the woman I'm talking to would take on all of the emotional, mental, unpaid labor of managing a house, whether or not she's partnered, and then be in charge of, like you said, supposed to be a boss, babe, supposed to be out there. And most of the time when you look behind the scenes of these successful women do they have a partner taking care of things behind the scenes for them at home. And so when we who are single, or when we who don't have that set up at home, compare ourselves to that, we're like why am I not farther along? Why have I not hit these income goals? What's wrong with me? What am I doing wrong? And I do call bullshit on that, because it's a very, very different set of expectations and possibilities when you are literally feel like you should do it all.

Speaker 2: 5:51

Now is this falling?

Speaker 1: 5:52

like you said, I want to make sure because there's a few parts, and then I want to make sure I have clarity on. First. I start off with understanding the balance between babies. You got your business baby and then you got your baby babies and I'm trying to figure out my balance between babies. But then we've got, like, the partner at home element and this is where it's been like when we go into the first generations of women who are like now I have stay at home fathers or stay at home men, and it's not a very common thing.

Speaker 1: 6:19

And there are patterns of things that are starting to emerge, that are showing themselves. Like I'm in the psychology world, so I'm watching and there are patterns. There are things that are like well, this is starting to become really loud and so with the you know the partner at home and then feeling like I'm not far enough ahead. Are you seeing a commonality between, like, the men who are out with the women at home or the women who are out with the men at home? Is there some sort of like? It seems pretty, pretty similar, or is it a very different result?

Speaker 2: 6:52

I think I tend to focus my study on women because I find that the men with the stay at home partner is so much more common and it's easier, you know. My observation is that while some of the women that I talked to in that position might be, might have some feelings about being in that situation, they also accept it much more readily than the men that I talked to who are stay at home partners. The men that I talked to in that situation seem to really struggle with identity and relating to their peers who are not in that situation and wanting to accept the importance of the role that they've chosen for themselves and seeing that as a calling of Now, are you talking for the men at home or the women at home?

Speaker 1: 7:45

I want to make sure I'm clear. So the men who stay at home should be like accepting the calling.

Speaker 2: 7:51

That's how they feel they should.

Speaker 1: 7:54

Okay, I need to understand the shoulds. The shoulds are where it gets weird because it's a subjective term, so I'm like I got to understand. What does it mean? Because my experiences are different than your experiences. So I need to understand yours first, because I don't have access to some of what you've seen.

Speaker 1: 8:07

You've seen different things in me and so if the guy is staying at home, because I've worked with these men also, just so you know, I have a large men's organization and so you work with the women, I work with the men. So I love seeing the other side, because I don't get. I have women's groups that I've run, but I'm very different monster and so when I'm hearing your experience is, it gives me a very different point of view and I need as many perspectives as possible. And so we've got the women now who are in the workplace and the men who stay home. Now you said before the women have they stay home. Moms are doing all of the mental load and all of the work at home and all the stuff with the kids, and it's unpaid labor. If the guy stays at home, is it still considered unpaid labor or is it like an honorable duty?

Speaker 2: 8:54

That's such a great question. Ooh, you know I've never directly asked that question to the men I've spoken with about this, so I don't know that I could give you an answer that would be fair to them.

Speaker 1: 9:05

Yeah, because we're running into just my perspective this is my opinion is that being a stay-at-home mom is, it was and should still be considered one of the highest honors of a role as a caretaker, and it's an important role. It's been there for all of history and only recently has caretaker and mother of the home been considered shameful. This was a massive honor all through history and if you think like also I would maybe challenge a little bit why it's become more shamed usually by women to women is probably where I would argue is that this used to be a lot of work, and what I mean by that is doing laundry used to be you had to go to the river and scrub on some sort of rock or board to clean the clothes, and if you're going to get berries and fruits, you're out picking them and you had to hang the clothes on some sort of thing to dry them, and it would take hours of work just to do each thing, and then the guys would come home with some sort of kill or some heavy weight of meat and then you would now be distributing to make sure everyone in the village is taken care of. This was a high honor and very needed position and then also being nurture and love and compassion Also a high honor position. This was the reason, the glue that held the home together.

Speaker 1: 10:26

But now these lines are getting very blurry because now women also have burden of performance in the workplace and burden of beauty and burden of motherhood and all these different things that are making it so that the high honor position has now become shameful. Now throw on top of that laundry went from doing all the rocks and the board has turned into one button, and dishwashing has turned into dishwasher, and cooking has turned into push a button or order food, and some of the highest honor things that mothers would have as skills have now turned into instant gratification. Well now, where's the respect, where's the respect to the stay at home parent when it's one button thing? And I will argue with laundry, because I also can do laundry. It's about five minutes of work until it's dried.

Speaker 1: 11:18

I'll argue I push a button and I leave. I'm not sitting there scrubbing anything. That thing is spin, cycling and all kinds. I'm not doing anything. So during that time I go and get other other stuff done. So this is a complicated thing. Well, we're switching roles and women are considering women who stay at home and I have seen it, so I do want your opinion. Where it's like you should be doing more, you should be also having a business, you should also be working. You should also be a fitness champion, you should also look like this, you should also have this and you should do all of it in heels, and this is seems like this external pressure that seems to be coming more from women to women than it is guys to women. What's your experience in that world when it comes to all that stuff that I'm seeing?

Speaker 2: 12:03

Yeah, I mean, you know, I think about, like the way that we view education as well, like when you're talking about, you know, what used to be considered a high honor or what in other cultures that maybe, in my opinion, have figured it out or have kept it, you know, and we've traded it for a pursuit of something that isn't going to be, that is more fleeting, that is not going to be as fulfilling in the end, but we're driven for now. It's not, you're right, it's not as respected or if it is happy, that's like, oh, it must be nice for you it must be nice.

Speaker 2: 12:44

Yeah, which makes you.

Speaker 1: 12:45

It's almost a judgment in the tone, right, right 100 percent.

Speaker 2: 12:48

I mean, I get this as an entrepreneur too. Oh, you travel. That must be nice.

Speaker 1: 12:52

That must be nice. I like that for you.

Speaker 2: 12:55

Yeah, well, I wish I could do that, but I can't because you know I've worked so hard and I whatever.

Speaker 1: 13:00

So in both situations. Yeah, it's a way of comparison, even in that Totally Like, oh must be nice, christine, oh you're oh good for you.

Speaker 2: 13:12

Yep and it's a justification of their choices too Right, because they cannot look at if is this something that I actually want or they're choosing not to. Is this something that I actually want? Am I actually willing to take the risk in both situations Right To figure it out? If they wanted to, you know, if they wanted to be home and become, as if they're partnered, a single income household, or if they want to run their own business and take those risks compared to what they view as stable in a job. You know, I mean either way. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 13:46

Well, women tend to lean more towards a safety, security element anyway. So taking risk is going to be difficult, I'd probably say, in just the bare necessities of a woman's design.

Speaker 2: 13:57

Yeah, I agree. I mean the depth of fear that I experienced going through a divorce. I really didn't anticipate and this is coming from somebody who trigger warning has lost a fucking child. Okay, so I have walked through the depths of like. What people with psychologists say is the worst loss you can experience. Everybody's experience with loss is different and I don't mean to minimize anyone's grief. I didn't know that. Somebody told me that and I was like, oh yeah, that's because it hits on a bunch of different levels and it's backwards from the way that you know.

Speaker 2: 14:31

My analytical mind went into what I was experiencing and probably trying to justify some of the griefs that made no sense to me, having up and through it before but going through a divorce, I went to those depths of like. If I was dropped off in a foreign place with my babies and I had nothing and I knew no one and I could contact no one, can I trust myself to figure it out and protect them? Right like that very, that animal, primal instinct, and so that I could build this foundation up again of trusting myself, not partnered, making my own income doing these things. That I never expected to be in this situation. It was definitely the opposite of how I was raised blah, blah, blah, blah, right, and finding like I didn't expect this was amicable. It was, you know, it was orderly, like it was, as divorces goes, pretty, pretty, pretty good, and I still went through that fear.

Speaker 2: 15:37

So to your point about safety and security, like whoa, things that you just don't expect that happen in life. And then do you choose to figure it out. And I do have a ton of privilege in addition. Right, I have family support, I have a lot of education, I have history of success, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, right.

Speaker 1: 15:59

And you're confused by the terminology for privilege. It seems like some of those things are also things you worked your ass off for. So is that a privilege I have I think it's when people throw it around.

Speaker 2: 16:11

Yeah, I mean I think that number one living in the US is a privilege. I think having been born here is inherent privilege, my opinion.

Speaker 1: 16:21

Compared to where Just so I can make sure like well, compared to that place, this place is way better.

Speaker 2: 16:28

Yeah, that's a good question. Like are you talking about?

Speaker 1: 16:30

the UK Are you talking about? Like Sweden? Are you talking about? Like? What are you talking about? Like Russia? What are you talking about?

Speaker 2: 16:37

Which place I think, compared to maybe places and I don't have some more specific in mind right now where, like I, wouldn't have access to healthcare and education.

Speaker 1: 16:48

There's other countries that have way better healthcare and education. Also, we have to pay for it here.

Speaker 2: 16:54

That's true, is that?

Speaker 1: 16:55

privilege we don't you earn, and so also, like we're not the only free country on earth, there's a lot of free countries.

Speaker 2: 17:03

True, but there are a lot of countries that aren't free.

Speaker 1: 17:05

So which ones are we talking about that give us privilege?

Speaker 2: 17:10

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 17:11

I don't know what we're talking about. I'm trying to understand. I'm like how am I privileged? We have to bust our ass. I don't know what you're talking about.

Speaker 2: 18:13

We're hard workers On one hand. I don't have anything to compare it to, right, personally.

Speaker 1: 18:18

Yeah, maybe it's not privilege, Maybe it's just hard work.

Speaker 2: 18:22

I think it's a combination for me, because I think if I was born some places, then I wouldn't be allowed to go to school.

Speaker 1: 18:29

Well, like where.

Speaker 2: 18:30

Or have access to the internet.

Speaker 1: 18:32

You might be right. Are you talking about, like, North Africa? You're talking about Sahara Desert, Like I don't know what you're talking about.

Speaker 2: 18:37

I think about places that would be called developing countries, right where the access to the access to clean fucking water is not guaranteed right, where I'm spending my day like we used to do, like we talk about. I think about how great things were and I feel a strong connection to like indigenous people here in the US.

Speaker 1: 19:03

Have you ever met like people who are in some of those environments? I'll even like lean in towards people who like stay unplugged on purpose, like Amish people or things like this, people who like I don't plug in any of that stuff. Have you ever met people like that? I've met people who also like they're not plugged in any of that stuff. Have you ever met anybody?

Speaker 2: 19:21

like that have they ever been? Like they've opted out, or they?

Speaker 1: 19:24

never have been. No, no, no, they just never have been and, like you know, don't want to.

Speaker 2: 19:28

Yeah, yeah, totally.

Speaker 1: 19:30

Are they? Are they like feel so unprivileged?

Speaker 2: 19:36

I guess it depends on if they feel like it's a choice.

Speaker 1: 19:39

Those people are happy as hell. Whenever I meet them, they're at peace with family, they know themselves, they are happy and happy to do what they do for, like work or for feeding their families. They're happy. They don't seem to be as tortured as us because they have real things that they have to work on. And so I'm just curious as far as, like the concept or the judgment of privilege and I'm like I don't know what you mean, because I've met some people who are like I'm not plugged in and our family is happy as fuck, Like we are good, my kids are educated, my wife and I are happy, we have joy filled in our lives and we don't require a cell phone or cable to be able to do that. In fact, we're in the first handful of generations we even had this, because it's only within the first, this last 100 years, has our technology been pushed in this direction. And so what about all the people before that? Were they not privileged?

Speaker 2: 20:33

I think maybe privileged in terms of being able to be healthy, having enough food, like these are not having to worry about food insecurity or water insecurity, like having the basics from which to build a foundation that I can trust that I'm going to stay alive, that I can trust that I can go for my dreams, whatever those are Like. I think there are a lot of people that focus out of necessity on survival. If I want to talk about like an old paradigm of, like Maslow's hierarchy of needs, right and able to move up that.

Speaker 1: 21:15

I think Maslow's full of crap, like when I write down and do like actual needs tools. Even Max Neif, when he was going through the needs thing he's like Maslow's not correct. And there's a lot of guys who are building tools, including our own psychologists in our team were like these tools aren't correct. Maslow's not right. And I'll challenge Maslow Because I'm like you can still have this without this and I can still have this without this and if I lost this, I still have to work or I still have to do a purpose here, even if that got goofed up.

Speaker 1: 21:43

And so I think Maslow has an idea, but the way that he speaks in absolutes makes it it's got loopholes. And so that's where I go like maybe, maybe. But then again it becomes subjective, based on what that is. Is it the type of house we have? Is it the type of lifestyle that we have? I would argue that privilege is something that may be given, but you keep saying things in terms of what are earned and I'm getting confused. That's the difference, because you work your ass off and you dedicate and you sacrifice and you serve and you give and you help and you work. Which part is privileged and which part is earned?

Speaker 2: 22:23

I guess it's impossible to say right.

Speaker 1: 22:27

Well, how much was just given Like you didn't have to do shit, it was just like you in.

Speaker 2: 22:34

Yeah, I think I would still argue that being born in a place where I didn't have to worry about Like where there was a net to catch me, being born to a family that would take care of me, it would support me, Well, I'll argue then, being in America, my family wasn't that family.

Speaker 1: 22:56

I grew up in inner city Detroit. I did not grow up in a nice neighborhood at all. If you've seen Eight Mile with Eminem, I grew up on Eight Mile. It was not a fun place. Nobody's ever been to Detroit and said what a bunch of sweet people Like. It's a hard environment. I caught growing up in Sparta. There was a lot of conflict, a lot of physical battles, a lot of very hard things, a lot of poverty. We were there when all of the motor city, when all of the car companies left and the whole place went down. Crime was rampant. We knew which roads not to go on because that was where you would get jumped. We knew there's bad. Is it not a fun place?

Speaker 1: 23:34

My family, both my parents, were struggling, both of them divorced. They were not healthy nor supportive. In many things. There was a lot of really tough hardship. I didn't have any of the support, whether it's the color of my skin or the people in my life. I didn't have that support level. In fact, most of my friends were all black.

Speaker 1: 23:53

I grew up in Detroit. I was one of the outer balls, and so when we look at this kind of stuff I'm listening to, like what is privilege? Because my best friends are black. We were living together forever, so I'm trying to think of where my advantage was versus his in some of these scenarios Not to say there weren't any, but I also just wasn't plugged in with redlining and some of the other things that were affecting us because, well, I live with black guys so he didn't have any problems with that. So I don't know what my privilege would have been for the support of a family. I didn't have that, so I had to build and grind and work.

Speaker 1: 24:25

So would I say that it's any different than Europe or any different than Russia, or any different than Australia or any different than, like you know where? I guess China, or you know Japan, or which countries are we talking about? Because there are places that are really difficult, but there's a lot of people. Now we're talking about, like certain communities, like maybe parts of India or even parts of Africa could be sure, but a majority of the world is free. A majority of the world has men and women both working, a majority, a vast majority, and so that's where I don't mean to get too particular on this one word I just think. People throw around terminology without definition sometimes and I go like, who are we comparing ourselves to? Because the way it looks, it's like maybe 30% of the world, which means 70% of the world, is now privileged, or is that just how shit is?

Speaker 2: 25:18

In terms of like the majority of the world, when you say that's how shit is.

Speaker 1: 25:23

Yeah, I mean like, well, everybody's got to work and women are. I've got women who are my clients all over, whether it be Hungary or the Netherlands or in Australia or all over the place. Ladies are still working their asses off too Heck. I got a lady from Holland. She says go and Dutch is normal, 50-50 is regular for their culture. That's regular. In fact, when I started saying you know, guys pay, she's like here that's a high honor if a guy pays for something, everything here is 50-50, that's culture.

Speaker 2: 25:55

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 25:56

My last name is Dutch so. You get it. And so when I talked to her and I mentioned you know a 50-50 thing, she was like that's actually very regular for our area, our country, is that women pay half at default and so are they more privileged because they're treated more equally. Or this is why I get kind of caught up in, like I just want to make sure I know what we're talking about, because it looks like you're just a hard worker, not necessarily just giving everything on a silver platter.

Speaker 2: 26:27

I guess my bringing that up is, of course, I don't know any different, and also I don't know what I don't know Right, having not had any other experience than this one, I want to be sensitive to other people's experiences, right, and.

Speaker 1: 26:47

Well, we don't know what those are, and those are their battles, just as you have yours. So who's privileged? Everybody has obstacles and challenges, and I work with anybody who's like guys who have no money at all to guys who have millions of dollars and both have big problems. So who's more privileged? Finances doesn't create privilege, because I see guys who are very wealthy who are also suicidal, and so I can't say that their plights or their challenges are any easier than somebody who has less money. It's just sometimes worse. So I wonder why. That's why I really do ask for, like, what is privilege Cause? Again, when I'm listening to your story, it sounds like you've had to go through really hard times and had to fought through difficult challenges and had to really challenge yourself when your back was against the wall to protect your cubs all alone, and you figured out how to do difficult things even in the midst of massive loss, both from your child and your marriage, and you found a way out of it. Where's the privilege?

Speaker 2: 27:50

Yeah, and I guess then the question becomes is that a story I'm telling myself, comparing myself to others?

Speaker 1: 27:56

right To an imaginary others. I don't know who's still our country we're talking about.

Speaker 2: 28:02

I think about the studies that talk about the stress of never knowing where your next meal is gonna come from.

Speaker 1: 28:10

Yeah, but we're just. We're one economic decision away from all of us being in that. How many people, even if they're doing well, are still paycheck to paycheck or even see if, like they just decide, the dollar doesn't mean anything. There's gonna be new currency and now all the money you've accrued means nothing, so start over.

Speaker 2: 28:27

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 28:28

We don't know, we're not in control of that. You don't get to control global currency and so you don't know we act like we're in some better position. All the money I've made can easily just be like no, we changed it. It's not dollars anymore, now it's Bitcoin and I'm like I don't have any Bitcoin. They're like then you have no money.

Speaker 2: 28:44

So then, what would you argue for women in terms of the safety and security thing? Is that a creating of an internal state that can be accessed at any time?

Speaker 1: 28:56

In which capacity are we talking work or are we talking home?

Speaker 2: 29:01

Talking like a feeling of security, meaning I know where my next meal is coming from versus. I don't know where my next meal is coming from and how do I resource myself.

Speaker 1: 29:11

I believe safety and security for women is different than men, very different, and I mean this in a very literal term when I work with both men and women. Men don't get the value and the luxury, I would probably say, of having somebody worry about their safety security. They are the safety security as a man, and you can probably even tell me as a testament, how many women do you know truly have empathy for their man? Now, well-being is not the same as empathy, like I made sure I took care of his clothes or made him a sandwich, or dried his shoes or whatever. That's not one of those as an emotion, not one of them. And so how many are going like I really am being safe for my man and if he shares his heart with me, I don't react. I don't have a reaction. I listen and I truly care about his heart and his soul? I'd riddle that almost no women are doing this. In fact, when I train women, the three things that are the hardest parts for them is accountability, authenticity and empathy. They're not really taught to do that this day and age, because being a boss bitch is very different than being empathetic. In fact, it's almost opposite. And so here now, women like you are paving the road as the first women who could just do anything. You damn well, please. And who's teaching you how to do it? Well, there are no teachers. You're the first ones. Good luck, you think we're not gonna screw this up a little bit. It's getting goofed up, and so safety and security for women always was determined on the family unit and, as far as the raw, the basic version of it is protection.

Speaker 1: 30:48

When it comes to physical combat, if you and I were thrown in a ring, you may be pretty tough chick, but you're in a lot of danger Because I'm way stronger. I don't care what you bench, I'm stronger than you and you're in danger. Now, you also don't know my training level. I trained with Navy SEALs in bad ass. I trained in Vegas. I trained at Catoors Gym. I know MMA. I'm pretty tough dude. Well now, what safety security do you have if it comes down to which one of us has to stop the bad guy? Someone wants to hurt your daughters, you're gonna go fist fight. Good luck, if I fist fight, it's a different game than if you fist fight.

Speaker 1: 31:26

So that element in my house, just so you know as far as my stance, I have five females in my house. I have three teenage daughters. I've got Andrea's cousin she's in her 20s who's here, and my girl, my Andrea. Andrea's bigger than me, she's taller than I am. I will fuck her up, she's it's not even close.

Speaker 1: 31:45

So when it comes to protection for my pack my girls I am the first and last line of defense. My girls are not proficient in protection. They're terrible at it. In fact, if you gave them all baseball bats and had them all fight me, I'm walking out. I guarantee it. They're terrible. They're terrible fighters.

Speaker 1: 32:03

So I keep my pack safe. That's a safety security that my girls know. In fact, they're so safe and secure that they just have attitudes about bullshit. Lucky them, that's where privilege may be. They've never had to fight off some weirdos in the front yard who want to come in, and so this is where that element of safety, physical safety and security.

Speaker 1: 32:24

Then we get into the other part of it financial safety security. This is a really tricky part for you. Now it's women's first time that they can just do that on their own. Well, that makes it very confusing for where we should show respect and honor to each other. If I do it too, remember women didn't have burden of performance like they do now, but now you still have burden of beauty and burden of performance and you got to compete with me. Well, good luck. Us dudes have been doing this since dudes have been dudes ever. We got thousands and thousands of years of practice versus each other and you're in first generation. Plus, you also have motherhood and there's a deep burning in your soul to be there with your children.

Speaker 1: 33:09

When they did the gender pig app thing, when they saw single women and single men, they were paid just about the same because those single girls would work their ass off, but moms were paid less because they wanted more time with children and so if there was a play or if there was a sporting event or there was a recital or something, the moms would leave work to go and be with the children when dad would have to stay and mom would have to record. So dads were just putting in more hours. When they did the gender pig app thing I was watching I'm like are they really paying women? Like in a shitty way, they found it wasn't women, it was moms, because moms were putting in less hours. And when they did the gender pay gap, they just looked at the annual and not the hours, and they were like, well, if she would have worked as many hours, she wouldn't pay the same. And the girls who were single women got paid the same as, if not more, because they were working.

Speaker 1: 34:06

Whenever I worked with a place, all the girls I worked with made the same wage as me. I didn't get like some dude bonus. I didn't get that. Like they didn't go like you're a dude, so you get an extra dollar. Like that wasn't there. These girls, some of these girls, outperformed me, so they got paid more and so I'm looking at some of the safety security elements. You guys are in a very weird spot.

Speaker 2: 34:27

Weird is a good word for it.

Speaker 1: 34:29

It's weird as hell. I guess I got three teenage girls going into this game and I'm like it doesn't look stacked in your favor right now. Some things are and some things is very confusing and women are goofing it up Badly, very badly, and people are watching like, hey, ladies, you gotta slow down. You're kinda screwing up the good stuff for the girls too. Hold on. And we're watching the complaining, we're watching the mental disorders, we're watching the self-harming, we're watching the blame, shame and judgment. We're watching the cyber bullying. We're watching the demolition of reputations. We're watching, we're going what's going on here. And if you watch John Hight stuff for other people who study social, the way that the societal parts are working, the disabilities for men based on like even the comparisons and what's my role in social medias and all these things for guys, the uptick, including pornography and things like this it's been like a few percentage up. There's a few more issues coming in with the boys, but it's been like only a couple percent For the girls starting middle school up this generation in the last 10 years. It looks like a bike ramp of issues. A whole new set of problems is coming up and we're watching how much it's affecting our ladies, you girls are in a war zone and we're trying to figure it out. Trying to figure it out. How do we figure it out?

Speaker 1: 35:49

And now, here you are, having to be the safety security provider, protector, presider. You have to take on all of the leadership roles. You have to take on all the housework, all the business roles. You have to take on all of the roles. Now, I'm not by any means judging, but I have watched the women who are self-made millionaires, the women who have built the company from the ground up and the women who are successful pushing into their 40s to 50s, and the struggle is real, even at the top. Now, I know I just ranted a whole bunch about safety, security and where women are right now, please, you're sitting in this wheelhouse of women who are paving the way. It's a deer trail where you're having to cut the path because there's nobody who built it. You're doing it. I need to hear the struggles you're in because I'm from this boy side where there's always been a path there for 10,000 years. We've always the dude's been doing this forever. But you're making a new path and I don't know what that is like from your side.

Speaker 2: 36:51

Well, I'm actually curious what you're seeing then, based on these trends, as if you were gonna change things up, if you were gonna write a different possibility for your girls. Like, what do you tell them?

Speaker 1: 37:09

Right now, we teach our girls to pay attention to red flags. I think a lot of times people are, especially women. My honest opinion is and this is gonna sound misogynist, but I'll back it up by trying to be again a good protector. I don't know if women are built to be the leader, and I say this because I watch about how, when I was working with women, they process emotionally and unless women are pushed deeply into a masculine role, which is this boss, babe and bad bitch and all these things that make it so a woman starts betraying her true nature. They don't process well. But that means you have to now do some sort of a suppression of emotion and suppression of self, which is what men do. We suppress our emotions and push them down. Push them down. We're highly logical creatures, we have to be. But women are more heart side, they're more emotional and they feel deeply and those feelings get overwhelming.

Speaker 1: 38:03

Now put on top of it too, again, house full of girls there are hormonal phases through the month, and I'm not just talking about the one period phase, I'm talking about like there's four different hormone phases through the month. Well, my house is madness Now, being the one in the house who doesn't have hormonal phases. I look like the crazy one because I'm not changing. I'm like we're watching today ladies, and I never know what day it'll be. One day they're sweet and cool and the next day it's like I'm watching the Tasmanian devil in the house and I don't know what the hell just happened. One day they're really nice and the next day they're just being a bully to each other and nothing has happened and I don't know what's going on, and so do I believe my girls are meant to be the leaders.

Speaker 1: 38:51

It does seem like the overwhelming observation is when women have to do it all, they get overwhelmed. There's a massive overwhelm. And when they're overwhelmed, how do they handle it? They reveal themselves. This is how I handle things, and I'm seeing more blame, more shame, more judgment and more trying to tear others down because they're not okay. They hurt people, hurt people than ever. Have you ever seen, in any type of business or corporate world, a woman with power demolish another woman?

Speaker 2: 39:23

Hmm.

Speaker 1: 39:25

You ever seen it? Listen, I've been in many jobs and as soon as I see a woman who's considered a competitive threat, even if she's like really pretty or something or just wears outfits that you don't like, I have seen women destroy that girl. All of a sudden, the girl I've seen one time where there was a girl who's been working at a company for 10 years, never had one issue, and another woman got promoted over her, became her boss, and then that girl started getting attention from the boss's wife, the owner's wife. She started going like you're really cool, you're awesome, and she started just hanging out with the owner's wife a little more. Well, the boss did not like that. Now it seems like you can take my position and within one month, that girl who had never had one problem all of a sudden had three write-ups and was fired within that month.

Speaker 1: 40:18

What's that, if this is? Women are supposed to be leaders and women are supposed to be able to do this. I'm watching this reputation demolition or this abuse of authority, and I have women after women who have come out of my show or I've talked to, who are like oh man, sue's, this woman got in charge, she tore me apart, she made my life a living hell. She carened the shit out of me and I'm like, damn, ladies, we're watching. You said, if you have authority, because I am not defending that men were not pieces of shit. Like, if you go back historically, guys fucking sucked when it came to women. I'm not defending men by any means. We didn't do a great job in many cultures, especially when, like, the guy could do one thing and then a woman would be stoned to death for the same thing. I don't agree with that shit. I don't agree, not cool. So I'm with you there. Guys are not historically perfect. It's their fucking disaster. I'm with you there. But now women are like, if we had the chance, if we could show you, we'd show you compassion, we'd show you nurture, we'd show you leadership, we'd show you kindness, we'd show you empathy, we would show you how leadership is meant to be done.

Speaker 1: 41:31

So I'm watching my girls in this world and I'm like they're just tearing each other apart, because I do believe there's a part of females that still compete with each other, just naturally. There's some sort of hierarchy within their own social circles. Where they need to belong, they need to have approval, but they also have a pecking order. That may even be subconscious or it may be unspoken, but there is something where there's a need to try to fit in with the other girls. There's a competitive thing with just beauty or status or popularity. That's inside of women and so do I believe that's the leader Kind of tough when you're influenced so easily from outside sources to be disagreeable when women are more agreeable and to push against the grain when going with the grain is ingrained.

Speaker 1: 42:23

But then also women aren't showing empathy to men, which, if you're a pack leader, you can't just not care about the feelings of one of your pack. You're not. The leader doesn't do that. And then easily influenced by social media to where one day you and I are good and then you see a post and go. You're not doing what that person did in the post and so you're not good. I'm like what are you influenced by right now? What are we? I don't even know. I didn't see the video, nor did I make an agreement. What are we talking about? And then we're watching too when women are calling the shots divorce rates at 70% done by women and they wanna blame men.

Speaker 1: 43:01

But whenever I work with women I'm like well, did you do any of the authenticity, accountability, any empathy for your guy at all. Well, why should I have to do that? Well, because you want that from him. That would probably be a good reason why you want him to be a safe place for you. But are you safe to talk to without having an explosion and then making it about you? Well, I don't see why I should have to do that. Well, probably because you want him to do that. So I don't think you're the leader.

Speaker 1: 43:33

That's an observation that I have for my girls. What was my suggestion? Pay attention, have values in yourself. Stand up for yourself where my lines are when you find a bad guy, cause there are bad guys. Not all of them are good guys. They're shit dudes out there, no question. For some reason, girls girls, not women, girls are attracted to shit guys. I think it's part of the evolution of being able to recognize a good one later. So I try to teach my girls hey, just pay attention. This may not be the best one when he starts betraying you and treating you like shit and tries to have sex with your friends. Maybe not the coolest guy in the world, might not be the good ones. Just pay attention where your line is so you can go. Let's look for a good one instead of sacrificing 10 years to one who's clearly not giving a shit and you train him not to it cause you reward and enable him to treat you poorly, cause you don't have any boundaries for yourself. So I train women to be solid and know thyself well enough to know their lines instead of be abused, and I do the same for men. Both should know this. So that's my opinion.

Speaker 1: 44:33

For the girl side, I got three of these damn things. I gotta make sure they have a fighting chance here, but I don't think they're built to lead because they fall apart whenever things get tough. They fall apart and they don't do well with conflict and they're terrible protectors and they're not very rational. They're very emotional, hard to follow my girls and they're capable too. They're strong, smart girls. It's just that peace is missing. That's my subjective point of view. This is my ricks definitions. This is not a quote. Everybody believes what I believe. This is just my observations, so please do your side, cause I know I just ranted for a long time.

Speaker 2: 45:15

I mean, yeah, I think that's helpful. I think the question or the conversation around leadership and what it means to be a good leader or a I've been out of corporate for so long that I experienced a toxic work environment and a boss who is really, I felt, against me and sent me out, letting me know she felt that way about me, kind of thing. But I also wanted to be out. So it was like, oh, it's such a relief, like I can't wait to be out of here. I knew I wanted out of there, she wanted me out of there, all of the things, and so there's probably some.

Speaker 2: 45:57

There's been a lot of self selection of what rooms I put myself in right as a result of running my own business and choosing my team and choosing my clients and choosing the masterminds and all of this and the contrast that has provided for me has been really helpful when I've been like, oh, this isn't my room for whatever reason. But also I resonate with what you're saying. Like I always said, it was because I never saw conflict or conflict resolution growing up. Maybe that's part of it, maybe that's a lot of it. I don't know what percentage of being really uncomfortable with conflict came from a lack of modeling, or just came from me finding it so terrifying that I became avoidant of it.

Speaker 2: 46:57

So I teach my girls, because they both tend to be really hard on themselves, even at such a young age. Hey, our brains learn from mistakes. That's part of what shows us what we didn't like, what we do like, what we wanna do next time, what we don't wanna do next time, and then I am constantly reminding myself of the same thing, right? So what is the space for feminine base leadership? Because there are lots of studies out there that say women are actually better at this because they show empathy. Women are better at this thing because they show this or whatever.

Speaker 1: 47:37

To who To who. This is where it gets into the argument for empathy. Women to children no argument. Ladies got it Like you can tell what a baby's noise means and us guys are scratching our head Like women can just know what a noise is, without us getting it. When it comes to women and babies and children, hands down, you got it Like I can't even defend a dude on this one. You win for sure when it comes to empathy, even for a woman. Now, I would argue that women goof up empathy because they make it about them and call it empathy. They call it relating.

Speaker 1: 48:12

So if you said, like Rick, I'm going through such a hard loss right now Things are, I just had a really big loss in my life and I'm like, dang Christine, I remember when I had a big loss in my life and I'll tell you when I went through it my dad did this and my mom did this, and I remember my wife and I were doing this thing and we really had a hard time with this. And so I remember with my daughters, we were doing this. You're like hey, hey, hey, you just made this all about you. I'm talking about my thing Now. You just made my thing, your thing. That's not empathy. You just took the story over and made it about you. That's not empathy. Now, if I said, christine, I've been through a loss similar, my heart is with you and how can I support you through this thing? Please tell me more. How can I be there for you? Now I'm at least connecting through empathy, but when I make the story all about me, that's not empathy. Now, empathy towards men, and this is where there seems to be a 99 to one gap. This is where it seems like women don't do it. Whether it's can't is still the jury's still out. But don't. When a man goes, my heart hurts. He has judged, he's rejected, he's ridiculed, he is called weak, he's called man up. You're being pathetic. I don't find you attractive anymore. These guys who are being vulnerable and open are being just ostracized. And you say that's what you want. But I have had guy after guy who were the stay-at-home dad and did everything to lift her up, without concept of hypergamy. Now, you know what hypergamy is right? I don't know if you do.

Speaker 1: 49:54

Hypergamy is the system that women use to choose a mate. Now, this, throughout all history, has had massive benefits because remember the way that we're designed. Men can shoot their shot over and over again. We spread seed. That's how all males in nature work. Women have to be far more selective. You can only take one at a time and it needs to be of good stock to make sure you have healthy children. And so the hypergamy system that women used was how do I gauge what is the most suitable mate for healthy children? That's the system that's been there since all nature. That's why there's mating dances and stuff like this.

Speaker 1: 50:33

It's got to be like what's the best mate Now? This used to be who's the strongest, who's got the most power, who's the biggest, most built, because that's the higher guarantee of tough stock kids. And then we started having the industrial age, where then power became money, and then we started getting entertainment and then power became fame. And then we started getting into really weird realms of how to choose a mate, where now it's like he's tall, he has money and he's got a six pack and you're like well, those are all superficial. Not one of those is an actual value of a good man. And so now guys have this huge list of things to go over and women are choosing on superficial things instead of actual structure things for a good household, and so the hypergamy system gets goofed up when a guy's a stay at home dad and he starts lifting her up and we have guys who have helped her through nursing school or her law degree or whatever it is, build her business.

Speaker 1: 51:38

And then at some point and this is where the hypergamy matters for men If you ever wake up next to your man and go, I can do so much better than you, the marriage will start to decline immediately as soon as you wake up and go. What am I doing with you? I could do so much better. Marriage is dying. He has to be equal or up. He has to, or hypergamy, because that's how women choose a mate. You at least have to be at my level or higher. Men do not have hypergamy. We can date down and be very, very okay. We do not require you to be at my level or higher, because that creates hypergamy, which is where the woman is the provider and the guy is the subordinate.

Speaker 1: 52:22

Well, this structure isn't working. They want to try and claim that it is, but it's creating beta men and alpha women. But these women aren't showing empathy for their men and I would venture to say it's more like 99 out of 100 that the women, once they're doing substantially better than the guy they date, equal and up and leave him for another man, a man who has worked on himself, a man who does own a business, a man who has more success, a man who is stronger, a man who holds his boundaries, a man who has his shit together. Well, this guy who's staying at home now loses everything the kids that he's been taking care of every single day. He now doesn't get to see them as much. In some of the court systems he gets them every other weekend. Now, how fun is that? She's also now going and being with another guy and he can't afford the home. So now he's gone. So now, in one decision from helping her do better, she has no empathy for her man. She dates equal and up leaves for another guy. And now this guy who did everything to build her up, he's now lost his children he spent every day with. He's lost his home. He's lost his marriage. He's lost his purpose. He's lost everything and no one gives a shit. Nobody cares about that guy.

Speaker 1: 53:45

As far as what I've built, where are the resources for men to go who have been completely isolated and thrown in the garbage when it comes to women's shelters. There's more than 2,000 in America. Good, good, there should be. There should be. There should be places for women who are like battered shelters and there needs to be a place for hope. There needs to be a place to rebuild. There should be. There's three for men and right now, the physical abuse.

Speaker 1: 54:12

Women are abusing more than men these days. I have police officers who are like the women are abusing the guys more, but guys don't report it because it's shameful. He said they're like dude, she just hit you with a frying pan and you're bleeding from your skull. You want to report this? He's like no, I don't. I can't tell you. I can't say like my five foot two woman beat the shit out of me. I'm six one. I can't report this. What am I going to? Look like a bitch. I can't report it. Just as fine, leave it.

Speaker 1: 54:42

I watched a guy in my front yard, front yard, middle of the night I was letting my dogs out and there's a car in my front yard and this dude he's like six, four, huge dude. And this young girl, like little girl, like she's like five, five. He's in the front yard and she's hitting him with all these things. She's bashing on this guy right in the road, right in the middle of the street, hitting them, throwing stuff at him, punching him, and he's not doing a thing about it. The cops show up. If this guy did even one ounce of retaliation he'd be in the back of a cop car Heard. They're having a conversation and I can hear during the conversation. I never interacted with her once, I was just like there'd be like statement. Here's what's going on. I could hear her screaming at the cops that both of us tried to rape her. I didn't even talk to her.

Speaker 1: 55:27

These are the things that are out there where women are just using this abuse of authority and power for court systems and hypergamy and what's going on? That good guys are getting flushed on the toilet and nobody cares. There's no empathy for men and so women being leaders right now, women being the leaders. If there's a person in your pack that you do not care about their heart, are you really supposed to lead? My challenge is probably not. But do men have empathy for women? They do, and I'll put you in a room. I'll put you in a room full of 50 dudes and I'll let you challenge the shit out of them. Do they care? You will see more heart in that room than you probably have ever seen, with a bunch of the guys. Real warriors will fight and die for their family, to fight and die for you.

Speaker 1: 56:20

I don't think people understand the amount of heart that it takes to say I will end my life so you can have yours. Well, that's a leader. It's a person who I will sacrifice everything to make sure you have a chance. I will give everything for you and willingly, happily. It makes me actually feel fulfilled to give everything I have to you. I don't ask for the reciprocity immediately, and so this is where I look at these parts of these systems for, like, I don't know, I'm watching, I'm not making my absolute conclusion, I'm just saying these are the patterns right now. So my jury is kind of going like I sure hope they catch on to this and we can help some women. Now, mind you, christine, just so you know you, I'm talking about the masses, of course. Now you've broken yourself out of that, like you said, the corporate environment, instead of saying, yeah, I wanted to go, so it's good.

Speaker 1: 57:15

What's just the behavior of that lady, just by itself? Well, that's what I mean is what's that behavior? Just to take your like? Well, fine, fuck you, bitch, I'm out, take that out of it and go. What is this woman doing? She's doing to another woman. She has authority and chance to show good leadership and she chose demolition. Why did that happen? What is that behavior? That's what I'm watching, you know. What did Christine do with it? She took herself out of the 99 percentile, pushed herself into. I'll build my own world where I can let the healthy women in, but also has taken account. You have to have control, safety, and security for you is coming from. I need to control everything, which let's call that too. That's very stressful.

Speaker 2: 57:59

It is and it's fear based.

Speaker 1: 58:00

It varies.

Speaker 2: 58:01

Like 100 percent.

Speaker 1: 58:02

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 58:03

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 58:05

Which means it adds more stress and anxiety, because now you also have to control a community of women who are generally not very controllable. That's a lot of pressure on you. I wouldn't call that privilege that's burden of leadership. That is a heavy burden to carry, but it's the only way that you could find any type of loyalty amongst your ladies. True or not true?

Speaker 2: 58:31

Can you say a little bit more about that?

Speaker 1: 58:34

If you're able to say, hey, these are the rules of this environment and there are benefits to being in my environment, but if you fuck around, you'll find out and I'll kick you out of the group. It's a lot safer for you when you have the eject eject button than when you don't. Fair or not fair.

Speaker 2: 58:53

Fair.

Speaker 1: 58:56

And so in this case, the only way you can try and maintain any sort of don't betray me, don't hurt me, don't do shitty things to me, don't gossip, don't throw me, don't throw me under the bus, don't do the generalized complaining Karen shit that most of these ladies are doing. Don't do that or I will eject your ass. Well, that's also stressful because, ladies, subconsciously you just will find more approval through negative conversation Generally if you're going like oh my God, I hate this so much. Like me too, I hate that too. And then there's like some quick connection to just negativity.

Speaker 1: 59:33

And when they did the studies, women ranked three times higher in negative emotion than men, which is probably also hormonal, which we don't have the same system. So we're like I don't know what the fuck is going on. We don't, we have no idea. We get very confused and then somehow it's our fault and we still don't know why. So I look at your position, not with criticism but with empathy, and I go she carries a heavy burden. Some would go it must be nice, christine, you're so lucky. Look at you and I'm like that's a burden of leadership and you do not understand. It is very, very stressful, it is hard, but it's the closest thing that you've been able to find to safety and security, especially in the female world, and that's my question. Is that true or not true? If it was to be, it was up to you.

Speaker 2: 1:00:22

Yeah, Right, that's definitely like the. I think that's a theme of and it goes to. The metaphor is about like carving your own path and all of these things right, Like the gritty nature of it is, you know, and then people talk about what was the person I need to become? That was what the journey was all about.

Speaker 1: 1:00:52

Yeah, it's a tough game. So what I'm doing is I am speaking like I know that I'm using a lot of observations, but I also am putting some heart in there where I relate to what you have done, because this world is not in your favor at the moment, so you have to build your own world Now. This is also going now. Don't, please don't, don't. I'm just talking on the women's side. If if you think that I'm soft on my men, you should meet my men. Nobody in my my guys ever go.

Speaker 1: 1:01:29

Like Rick makes it easy. I am 10 times harder on my boys than my girls, and so, like, the men that I have are true warriors, true protectors, true providers, true presiders. They will, they will fight a lion to make sure you and your girls are safe. Like, these are good men and there are good men out there, and so whenever I do work with women, a lot more of it is just engaging the way that their belief systems are set up and how they choose their mates, the hypergamy system. I'm like let me see your interview process. How did you interview for that job? You look at the resume and it's just terrible thing after terrible thing and they're like when can you start?

Speaker 2: 1:02:08

And.

Speaker 1: 1:02:08

I'm like that may have been part of your system, Right, it might have been you. And that's kind of one of those ones where I'm like you probably wouldn't know what a good dude was if he fell on you. In fact, you probably call it abuse. We're in a weird time right now because ladies are actually going to be in a really tough time where the way it looks is there's going to be a lot of happy cat owners. You ever? You ever seen the universe 25 study? That was done back in the early 70s, started in the 60s. It's a Dr Calhoun, Check that shit out.

Speaker 1: 1:02:44

I think we're in the middle of the good times right now and it makes it so that things become more separate, less family, more androgynous, weirder, and families start to fall apart. It's a every time they've done the study where everything is good, like perfect environment, the civilization goes extinct. Every time they make like everything is good, Like you said, like we don't have to fight for water, we don't have to fight for food, we don't have any dangers or any hardships right now. So the hardest things we have to deal with is possible futures, Fear like that could go wrong, and what if that and what if this. That's the hardest part of your day. But if we had some sort of influx of wildlife or something, if, like all of a sudden there was a bunch of wolves, all of a sudden they're fucking everywhere. You have to run to the car because there's a pack of wolves going to get you. Or like lions are now every country now and you just never know if there's going to be, like a female lion shooting out of the bushes. So you train every day to be the fastest damn woman on earth so you can make it from the car to the mall without getting mauled.

Speaker 1: 1:03:51

Like this is a. You're like we got danger, we got to pay attention. You've got. You got a freaking sorter gun on you to make sure that no pack of any animals gets your daughters, and so you are a warrior. Now you are way less concerned over the what is. If you're sitting there knowing there's real danger, we don't worry about what. I sure hope Sheila doesn't say something shitty today. You're like fuck Sheila, there's wolves today. I don't care about Sheila's shit. I don't give a fuck about if she got new shoes today. I don't give a fuck. There's a fucking panther on the roof and I'm waiting for that bitch to get annoyed and go somewhere else. But these things are patient.

Speaker 2: 1:04:25

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:04:27

Like, if we had that now we got problems but we don't have problems. So we can have polarization Now, we can have men versus women, now we can have left and rights and blues and reds and you know whatever sexes and all these other things. We can have all these problems. That are social issues that we just create. But if we had a whole bunch of wildlife, no, that shit wouldn't matter at all. I wouldn't give a fuck who you were voting for, because, like, my daughter has to get to work and I'm like watching, like where's the migration patterns of these fucking killer dogs? I wouldn't give a shit about who voted for what.

Speaker 2: 1:05:02

Right, so you're coming to something more immediate more safety, more. I don't know if primal is the right word, but like more basic.

Speaker 1: 1:05:15

Using. Okay, yeah, it makes it, so there's something real. But right now we're fighting over make-believe or feelings. That's the good times. We're fighting over dishes. We're fighting over taking out the trash when I want you to. We're fighting over little things. There's no danger. What's even more funny is good protectors.

Speaker 1: 1:05:41

Guys who do a good job are usually treated worse. How weird is that? I'll give you an example. Here's one thing my girls don't know. There was a study that was done. It was on 60 minutes. This was years ago.

Speaker 1: 1:05:55

Jack something I forget the guy's name. He was a pedophile, though he would rape and kill children. He got caught. They put him on 60 minutes and they asked him what is it that like? How did you choose which children that you would target? How did you do that? And he said I'll be real, with you right at the front. Here's the first thing I would look for. I would scout the family and I would watch the family. If there was a strong male presence, I'd skip that one.

Speaker 1: 1:06:21

Now I live in a place where there's a lot of traffic that goes by Guys on bikes, guys scouting places, people walking by and looking at our cars and shit. We're in a city area, I go out and I talk and I've got my two dogs with me and when we're on patrol it makes it so we wouldn't be the ones. I've talked to creeps on the bikes who are like so what's going on in this place? Who's all in there? I'm like none of your fucking businesses is in there. You have to come through me. They're like yeah, I don't want to do that If there's a strong male presence.

Speaker 1: 1:06:50

My girls have never had to ward off the weirdos Never once which creates a safe place for them. That makes it so they can have the biggest attitudes on earth. They can treat me like total shit because they've never had to ward off the weirdo on the bike who's scouting. If there was just five girls here, they would be in trouble. That's what I mean by the safety. Security wouldn't be respected. Women who are safe seem to treat their men worse. What is that? You're not in danger. You have food, you have shelter, you have water, you have clothing. You have all the things that you need, and now you're mad because you didn't triple fold the fucking towels. That's the biggest complaint of the day. That guy must be doing a really good job, because you didn't have to fight off a burglar today, or nobody tried to steal your child today, he must be doing a good job. You now have the opportunity, because of your safety and security, to attack your protector. Interesting choice.

Speaker 2: 1:08:06

Is it like the protection is overlooked or perceived as inherent and therefore not appreciated because it's not the thing in front of them?

Speaker 1: 1:08:20

like the towel. It seems like it's a given.

Speaker 1: 1:08:24

You're supposed to. If you take that same you're supposed to logic, now apply that to whatever anybody's complaining about. Pick anything that your ladies come to you like he's supposed to and go like what are you supposed to? Let's just use the same terminology on ourselves. Let's go ahead and just cut it down to golden rule and go like if there's this type of authoritarian finger pointing, have you ever reversed that shit? You ever used your system on yourself?

Speaker 1: 1:08:54

Because the accountability for any of the women I see who practice accountability all that bullshit if he's supposed to goes out the damn windows who they go like well, let's look at my own stuff.

Speaker 1: 1:09:04

And they're like well, I don't want to play that anymore, it goes out the window when it's all on you. So I didn't mean by any means some ways to sound derogatory, but when you said the word privilege, I just see a warrior in front of me who's worked her ass off and had to go through hard things and built herself from the ground up and has built her own planet to make sure that she can at least have some semblance of safety, security and control in a place where, sure, I would probably imagine your hypergobia system has been completely goofed up at some point because something went terribly wrong in the marriage. So either you outgrew it or he outgrew it, or you guys miscommunicated or misjudged or something happened. Yeah Well, that system got goofed up at some point. So, if it is to be, it's up to me, became your survival system, but I got it and I had to guess heart to heart with you. It's probably just fucking overwhelming.

Speaker 2: 1:09:57

Totally.

Speaker 1: 1:09:59

I'm like dang, that's. That's a warrior, not privileged. What are you talking about?

Speaker 2: 1:10:04

I'll receive that, thank you.

Speaker 1: 1:10:08

So this is why I asked the terminologies. I don't know if I see it that way, because we're using judgments as some sort of baseline. But those are just opinions.

Speaker 2: 1:10:16

Yeah, and it also feels like I mean to be honest with you like there have been multiple times in my career as a professor and my career as a this or that where you know I've been told that I was, you know that I should be more in touch with my privilege, or why didn't you comment on this? Why didn't you post about this? Why didn't you this? Why didn't you that? Right To the point where it becomes a shame based need to to mention it, to defer to it to you know, recognize what I didn't recognize, right?

Speaker 1: 1:10:58

That's speaking again. You said shame and judgment are now tools to control you. You should comply, because I created a judgment to make you feel bad for what you are. Is that an authority? Is that a leader? If I have to shame you and judge you into compliance, am I truly a good leader?

Speaker 2: 1:11:21

Right.

Speaker 1: 1:11:26

What do you think? What do you think Is that if I said, like I need to shame you and judge you so you do what I tell you to, would you? Would you qualify me as a good, healthy? Yet somehow this has become where we send our children and this is where you went, because that was supposed to, where academia right now. I talked to PhDs and academics where, like, we had to leave 100% turned into?

Speaker 1: 1:11:50

it's turned into a judgment sphere and a control system. There's narratives being pushed to have nothing to do with science or math. And so here you are. How are you supposed to find your authenticity, your strength, your place in this world when now you are shamed for being born, which is ironic because this was also the same group that was very inclusive five years ago. That's weird, right. How did the female become privileged? What the fuck just happened?

Speaker 2: 1:12:27

Yeah, yeah, and then the kind of the holding of both is stressful in and of itself, right, like, where do you land? How do you, yeah, stand in your truth when, at least, there have been times when I'm like my truth was inadvertently made wrong, you know?

Speaker 1: 1:12:53

It was judged.

Speaker 2: 1:12:54

Right, right yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:12:57

This is where I build up the armor, especially for my ladies in authenticity. Watch for blame, shame and judgment, because someone's trying to make you be something that you're not. They're trying to convince you to do it for them. That need to fit in, that need for approval that women have, it gets put in there since you're like 11 years old, like there's no way you could defend against it, like when did you find out you should start wearing makeup?

Speaker 2: 1:13:27

Probably watching my mom I don't remember what age- that's what I mean.

Speaker 1: 1:13:32

It was so young that, like I need to change. How I look was put in before you were even like really making solid memories. That's put in so young that the way you are is not good enough Right from the get. Why do I need to wear makeup? It enhances my beauty. Well, what's wrong with your beauty as it is? Why does your natural beauty need to be enhanced? I don't understand. You know the size zero thing. Like I said, I have hundreds of men. I run these surveys by to see if it's us. I'm like if our guys are fucking this up, we better check ourselves. I'm like how many of you require her to be a size zero or she's got to hit the road? And not one man. Out of hundreds of men, not one was like if she's not a size zero, hit the road. Bitch Zero guys, none. Do you know where that came from?

Speaker 2: 1:14:25

Women yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:14:28

Whenever I do self worth for women self worth, all of the curses that are in a against self came from another woman. I was like I can't believe. It's moms, it's aunts, it's grandmas, it's best friends, it's going to be friend groups or social circles, it's all women to women. All the comparisons and the judgments and the shame make it so. You need to look and be a certain way or else you're not good enough. And it's not the boys, because we don't give a shit about half of that stuff. No, it's not to say if a girl doesn't look to the nines, you want to hear a fun, authenticity thing that I challenged my boys with. I did this with the girls. I did this with the guys, with my women's groups. I said, all right, which do you think he likes more?

Speaker 1: 1:15:11

If you want to be noticed and appreciated and valued when you dress up to the nines makeup, I mean hell, let's even go superficial. Fake eyelashes, super lips, all the contour, fake nails, pushup bra, booty lift and whatever. High heels, waist trainer, go to the nines. Go nuts hair extensions, do it all right. Now, if you go all in, like girls do with girls which I have also seen when girls do the hangout with the girls. Comparisons take it to the nines and you go all in, or PJs like big baggy shirt, pajama pants, whatever hair down, no makeup. Which one does he compliment more? They're like. Well, he seems to compliment me more when I go all in than when I'm just in my pajamas. It seems like he appreciates that more. See, that means that he must like inauthenticity more than authenticity. Right, just with that. What do you think?

Speaker 2: 1:16:08

On the surface. I'm curious what the truth is Like. Do they feel like they should compliment you because of all of the effort?

Speaker 1: 1:16:16

That's what ended up. Being consensus-wise is yes, because I went through all of the effort is why I deserve more compliments. But also, if I don't do the effort, I don't get the compliments. And I said you want compliments again? Lose the shirt, lose the shirt, what do you think?

Speaker 1: 1:16:39

I asked my guys what do you want? Do you want her naked? Do you want her dressed in nines or pajamas? Put it in order of the one you like best Naked one every time.

Speaker 1: 1:16:50

You know what naked is Authentic no clothes, no hiding, no, nothing. They're like give me the real thing all the way. Give me all the skin. I like that better than any dress to the nines you've got. That's men. Give me the real you. I don't need the fake eyelashes and I don't need the push-up butt pants and I don't need high heels. I don't need that. Give me naked you and I love you all the way to the core.

Speaker 1: 1:17:22

That's what the survey showed with my men. They didn't give a shit about all the makeup because it was all made up, but take off the shirt. That's my baby. So do our guys really the superficial ones? Or is it women to women? Because the guys are like I don't give a shit about any of that. You know what? Half my guys, including me, we're down with the thickness and so, don't get me wrong, I need some skinny girl.

Speaker 1: 1:17:49

My baby is not little. She got some. Oh, she got those legs. I love that shit. That's my baby. She got a big butt and I love it. That's my girl. So we all like different things. None of us are size zeros or she's out. That's why I watch these comparisons and these are the things that you girls have to compete with. It's not only do you have to compete against us men in the arena, you also have to compete with the comparisons of women to women. Oh my God, that is so stressful. And now it's not just community, it's not just like your work or your city, it's global. Yep, it went from a couple thousand to billions overnight. Thanks Instagram.

Speaker 2: 1:18:40

Yeah, and you're like this is reminding me of, for example, designer labels, which is something that I have never really been drawn to, and I think part of it is because I'm just like how did these women even begin to keep up? Not that I've ever had a line item in my budget that's like the newest purse. Let's just do that. It has never been my thing, and when I've asked, because a lot of people in my industry it is the branding and the stuff is very, very high end and I'm like that's not aspirational for me. That just seems like a lot of work. But I don't really see men caring about luxury brands at all, unless maybe they're women dressed in it Right.

Speaker 1: 1:19:34

That's one of the reasons I, when I was doing my hypothesis on this, watching Ever since I think it was the 60s, maybe even before that they realized, like in the mad men era, they realized that when they did marketing targeted towards women, they got more sales. So ever since then, almost all marketing, including heavy social media influencing, is directed towards females. Why? Because women are more easily influenced by outside sources than men.

Speaker 1: 1:20:07

So do you I asked my guys have you guys ever seen a Calvin Klein ad that made you have to go buy those underwear? They're like fuck no. If they had an ad that said choose your dad's, choose Jeff peanut butter, do they have to go buy that peanut butter? They're like oh, we like that fucking peanut butter. Fuck that peanut butter. We're disagreeable by nature. Guys don't care. We don't care about women. Even one of my buddies who had a, he built a phone that was for children and he said the way they marketed it for dads is that this is a tool, not a toy. The way they market it for moms is that says this is what the good moms do.

Speaker 2: 1:20:46

Like competition comparison.

Speaker 1: 1:20:50

It's not competency, it was comparison. It's keep up with the Joneses. This is what all the good moms do, and if you don't do it, what does that make you?

Speaker 2: 1:20:59

Right.

Speaker 1: 1:21:00

Easily influenced. Now this is where it got really tricky for the partnership dynamic. These aren't influenced by outside sources, hardly at all, but heavily influenced from the opinion of their woman. It's the number one thing. When my men start off, they're like what am I doing wrong and why can't I make her happy? Men shame, far more. Men go what am I doing? How am I not good enough for her? She's just not happy. Everything I've ever done it's never good enough. How am I? What am I doing wrong, man? And a lot of times it may be some things or it's she's being herself and it's not good, unhealthy behaviors for both sides. And so guys start off with being shame. But they're not influenced by outside sources. They're watching their girls say you're not good enough, You're not good enough, You're not good enough. Now where did the not good enough come? Because that was at one point the best guy right.

Speaker 1: 1:21:57

At one point when you guys were dating I got about all of the options. This one's the best one. So I'm full commit. This is my best opportunity, best potential, best partner. He's the best one. And something changed now. Did he dramatically change or did some of the influences from outside Start to influence the thoughts, to make it so you judge him differently and we start watching who gets influenced from the outside sources? That's why I say watch what social media is doing to the women. It is killing Marriages and it's killing self-esteem. It's killing self-worth. It's killing. It's killing camaraderie with women. Women don't seem to have camaraderie without solid structure. You run an organization like this. Do you think that if you left for three months with no interaction, that everybody would still be highly interactive?

Speaker 2: 1:22:52

No.

Speaker 1: 1:22:53

No, women don't do that, but my men. I Don't even tell them to do half the shit that they do when they look out for each other 24-7. The camaraderie amongst men is absolute. But my women's groups? If I'm not giving direction, it's silent.

Speaker 2: 1:23:09

Why is?

Speaker 1: 1:23:09

that. Look at them, call each other. I don't know if it's a natural competition thing or what I don't know, but my men, all day, every day, they're talking and hanging out, looking out for each other. How can I be there for you, bro? What are you going through? That's tough man. How can I serve? I don't even tell them to do it. I've got entire groups of guys who just check in on dudes, just on their own. I don't even tell them what to do. That's just who they are.

Speaker 1: 1:23:37

This is where I'm looking at the influences on my ladies. Are you, guys, natural leaders? Are you waiting for someone to damsel and distress? Save you? I'm watching the jury's out. I didn't say here's the conclusion, I'm just going. It doesn't seem like it. You guys have full freedom, full opportunity. There are no strings on you. In fact, advantage now is woman in the workplace and Especially in school. How many scholarships and opportunities are there for women versus for boys? It's not even close, it's not even relatively close. How much support is out there for women versus men? Not even close, it's not even relatively close. It's a very different society right now. Well, nobody really cares about the. You don't care. So the guys are banding together and it's getting bad. There's a lot more women who have to do what you've done, have to. It's up to, I think, 20% of women who are, like I'm just done, playing the game. It's 30% of men out.

Speaker 2: 1:24:50

What does that look like? Done playing the game like.

Speaker 1: 1:24:54

No, I'm dating. I'm not dating anymore. I'm not gonna go out with anybody, I'm not doing anything. I feel that not, I'm done. I'm done right, I'll just do it myself, but this is. It goes against your design, though, because you're a lover and. You just haven't found the ability yet to be able to find the right type of mate, because I'm sure that if I cracked in on your system, I'll be like there's a bunch of flaws in how you're choosing to do it.

Speaker 2: 1:25:17

Of course.

Speaker 1: 1:25:18

I'm like that. That's. That guy's not a match for you. What are you doing? Yeah, you're picking the wrong one. Did you just shop and lost and found you should be shopping in premium?

Speaker 2: 1:25:28

You're in the wrong section and you know that was my experience in about the two weeks I spent on the dating apps, as I was like this pool is not. At least I had the force of the insight for that right and I was just like Quote, unquote. That's how everyone does it, you know, and I'm not here for that. So therefore, take me self out of the game.

Speaker 1: 1:25:51

Just so you know I have good men, good men. I take them off the dating sites immediately.

Speaker 1: 1:25:57

Okay, good to hear if you're trying to find a good man. He's not gonna be on the dating sites. My guys are gonna be out where you go. Do things you like to do. You're gonna find a good man when you join a hiking group or you start up on a spin class, or are you join a painting thing or you do a thing that you just love to do something. Find stuff you love to do. My guys will not be on your dating app. They're gonna be in an area where you're doing something that you also love to do and you guys both have interest that at least are aligned in some way, shape or form. You know it's gonna be because we both like to bowl or something I don't know. Pick whatever it is, pick anything, doesn't matter. Do stuff you love to do and you'll find somebody else who loves to do things that you love to do too. It's not everything, but at least you have some stuff to build on.

Speaker 1: 1:26:43

Yeah, yeah, and so that's where.

Speaker 2: 1:26:47

I landed with with a man I landed with with them until, until you, if they're so, transactional right and they're so dopamine. Just you know, number, number, number, surface, surface surface right and I it's like the opposite of everything that I attempt work to be, but, you know, until Warriors Way launches its own dating app, which I'm sure you have been.

Speaker 1: 1:27:13

They keep going like, hey, we got healthy men now, but we don't know where the healthy women are, and I'm like that's gonna take me a lot longer. I'm not interested in trying to get into this. You know and and this is something when you're working with people and you're helping market, you're in a world of helping people. Now, do you help people with relationships or just business? I don't want to ask a question. That's not your field.

Speaker 2: 1:27:39

I find that it comes up some of the time because life right for these people who are either solo printers or small, small teams, you know it will this thing with my kid, or this thing with my partner, this dynamic, this thing with my life, whatever of course it's gonna come in. And because I know that it's not just strategy, or Us hard workers and high achievers and all that would have figured all this shit out a long time ago. If it was just strategy right, we would both be out of jobs. So I think that a lot of my work like it does become oh my gosh, I had no idea I was gonna deal with this or be invited to deal with this in order to get the thing that I want, which looks like this whatever success in business, because it's never the thing that they thought.

Speaker 1: 1:28:31

So, yes, there's a lot of relationships in there, right, yeah, all right, so now we got. A lot times you end up being almost like, all right, let me do marriage counseling today, so that way you can get back to your business. And so, yeah, I'm just saying we're a weird time right now. Are you finding that when you're working with somebody who starts to really elevate themselves you know, because you, we both tell me, if you agree, money and numbers follow they don't lead correct, and so if you do the right behavior, you'll get the right results. All right, so now I'm training good behavior. I'm training the right, the right things that you do, the right mindset, the right skill set, the right habits. Right, okay, so we're in this world. Have you noticed when you work with one partner, or that, is it saving marriages or ending them more commonly?

Speaker 2: 1:29:25

I feel like it ends them.

Speaker 1: 1:29:29

What's your opinion? You're, it's just your personal opinion that we don't have to do like the statistical fact check. In your experience, in your business, you help somebody elevate up, they build their level, they're doing better, they're more successful, more free, more empowered, more, everything fulfilled, and then the marriage is rocky, or it's not better, it's worse. What's your? What's your opinion of what's happening?

Speaker 2: 1:29:52

Hmm, so I can only see it from the angle of the person I'm coaching right and I never know what. We've walked into, how it's been the length of the relationship. There's some dynamic where I think, if, if this person is Elevating and they though the way in which they try to invite their partner along or the way in which they interact with their partner about it is Off-putting to the partner, so there's not a Join like a job. I'm a horse girl, so there's this term join up right where you, where you come together and and so there, then it just it's a wall, its resistance, it's we're growing apart. We're growing apart because we're not like.

Speaker 2: 1:30:48

In one case I can think, where I knew both of them really really well prior to Me working with the woman, there was a shh, there was a real commitment to shared misery, and then one of them decided to work on themselves and the anger and the resentment for being left behind Was with the partner who wasn't working on themselves. But a lot of times I don't have that insight like I. It just seems like you know and I saw you nodding it just seems like there's a disconnect with how that the opportunity to join up could be, and so Instead it's a okay different. Different directions conflict. You know you changed, okay, not for the better, kind of thing. What is your experience? I?

Speaker 1: 1:31:44

Actually, this was within the last two years. I've been working with so many guys and when they get healthy, it reveals like it ends a lot more marriages than it saves. And it was for the same thing. I was actually starting to feel a little bit like am I really doing? Like I'm ending a lot of relationships I'm not ending them personally, but like they're going like this is not a relationship and there's like 10 year, 20 year marriages are like we're done and I'm like am I really doing a service or disservice here? And all my guys pulled me up. They were like stop, stop. You're like. You're like our freaking Jesus right now. You pulled us out of this thing. I was very unhealthy and hypergamy, stated. I was with a partner that was equal, equally on the healthy. I was not a good guy. That's not a good woman. That's why we were a match. She sucked.

Speaker 2: 1:32:43

I sucked we sucked.

Speaker 1: 1:32:46

So soon as I started sucking less and started holding healthy boundaries, doing healthy growth, starting to like know myself well enough to go, I won't compromise myself on things that are bad for the pack, that's gonna hurt the kids or that's just really selfish behavior. I'm not gonna join you in that. When it started getting to the gap, which started getting noticeable, I would watch the other partner. Mostly I work with men, but I've also seen it the other way. Well, I'd watch the partner freak out. Now, either they try to rush growth, they try to force growth, which you know. That's not how like that works. You have to really let it do its thing, you have to go through the system. You can't just jump across. You have to build the bridge. They try to force it and they get very frustrated. And when the guys and this is just what I've noticed men are much faster than women I've worked on both sides it's like two to five times faster. When I work with my men's group, I can get like six to eight things done in an hour. With my women it's one to two. It just takes longer. They process emotionally, so it takes a longer time. It's not a judgment, it's an observation. So what? Okay, it's gonna be that way. But hypergamy states that's actually healthy. If he's faster than her, that means equal enough is still applying, so it's okay. Now, when it becomes too big of a gap is when it becomes a problem like equal and up to where it's like unrelatable.

Speaker 1: 1:34:08

I'll watch the other side start to sabotage, start to destroy him, start to tear his, his support system down, try to isolate him out of being able to be healthy, because it's starting to scare her, because now you're gonna leave me, so I need to make you unhealthy again, so that way you stay. So I need you back down with me. So instead of her working and showing willingness, she tries to sabotage and tear him down. Now a healthy man will say no, no, I will not let you tear me down, I will not let you sabotage my growth. I'm on a trajectory right now that's making me a high values man, not a high value man. High values I'm doing better in every category that I have.

Speaker 1: 1:34:54

This isn't a financial deal. This is every category of know thyself and I'm not gonna let you destroy me because you don't want to grow and Then they go. We have to separate. If you're not joining it. You're either with me or you're not with me, babe. She's like that, I'm not with you and they're like that's the way it's going. And at first I felt really bad about this. I did. I was like I'm killing marriages, son of a bitch, and they're like that's happening because I was unhealthy with an unhealthy partner. And now it's revealed itself and I now know my boundaries and know my worth enough that I won't stay with an unhealthy partner.

Speaker 2: 1:35:34

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:35:35

Sounds curious if you ran into the same.

Speaker 2: 1:35:37

you're a divorce monger like me, oh my gosh, literally I've said that before like the number of people that I walked through the end of their relationship, and yeah, I mean it's something that I have heard too Do you think you're causing this, like do you think you have a problem? Like do you think you are the problem, you know?

Speaker 1: 1:35:58

That's me. I have helped one of you be healthy and the other one doesn't want to join. That was me. I'll take that was mine. Yeah, you can be healthy. I'll show you what they're doing and you can do it. You guys are a cult like. Maybe we are Whatever.

Speaker 2: 1:36:20

Judge away that's you know you're adding your Judgment to the definition. Like I think, the dictionary definition of cult doesn't have all the things that we think of.

Speaker 1: 1:36:33

Yeah, I laugh when they do that. I'm like, well, go ahead and judge. What's the Kool-Aid that I'm telling you to drink and like Authenticity, accountability, empathy.

Speaker 1: 1:36:41

These are the Kool-Aids I'm like. Doesn't sound very controlling, sounds like the opposite. It's a tough world for you, ladies, though I'm just gonna say I give, I give honor and praise to you because you're doing it in a difficult way. Everything about what you're doing is hard, you know. And just saying, just as a guy on the other side who works with the men, who can see a woman who works with the women, I don't, I don't look at what you guys go like it must be nice. How easy for you. We don't do that.

Speaker 1: 1:37:12

Good, men are like, damn like. These girls are out there fighting on their own and it's hard. We know it's hard, it's hard for us. I'm like, and you're out here doing the same game and you've had to build your own communities just so you could have a healthy friendship. Fuck, like that's tough. That's tough. The society is right now kind of stacked against ladies and I do believe there's a small percentage of women who will pull out and do okay, I Believe there's some. There's some women who are right now the loudest men's rights activists are women.

Speaker 1: 1:37:46

Hmm because there's a pendulum that's going so far. It's making just a bunch of isolated single women, but you're destroying your sons. Destroying your sons don't have a life and we're in such an interesting time that there's gonna be a lot of lonely women, probably within our generation, where we watch a lot of women who are just alone and they die alone. They're alone. A Lot of happy cat owners.

Speaker 2: 1:38:14

What do you think they're? Gonna wish they had a partner what do you think the I guess solution?

Speaker 1: 1:38:22

We're gonna have to not, it's not political, but we're gonna have to be more traditional. Our values and I don't mean that even biblical or religious either I mean like there's gonna have to be some sort of like Men are leaders we're built to. We can just handle so much more stress because we compartmentalize very differently and that's not a you know, we're better than it's, just our job is different, and so we can put things in different boxes and sort one at a time, which makes us more capable of being able to process without it all intertwined together. When I say men process three to five times faster, it's not an arrogance, it's a location. It's just he got there sooner, like that's just he did. That's not my opinion, that's just what happened. So that makes that guy more capable of going.

Speaker 1: 1:39:10

Babe, I hear your thing and I can hear you venting, and then I see the kids have this thing going on. I've got all this stuff at work. I just got sued from this guy. This thing's happening over here. I got a deadline for this thing and we can compartmentalize and not go fucking crazy. The only thing we need for less crazy is I just need my baby at home to not be nutty on me. If I can have my baby in my corner, all the other stuff will work out. And that's where I think ladies are falling off is they're not being in the corner anymore. They want to call the shots, but they do it with that big yarn ball that's all mixed together and saying that one thing is really all these ten things, and guys are like I don't know what the fuck, and so we're now no longer good enough. And I'm watching guys who work 90 hours a week, come home, put the kids to bed, cook the dinner, do the dishes, do all the stuff while she's on her fucking phone and he's still not doing enough.

Speaker 1: 1:40:05

I Think women are getting corrupted by these societal bullshits. I think the feminism thing went way too far. I'm very pro feminism. As far as equal rights, I'm very pro like equal rights. Well, we already passed that. We did it. Are there any rights that you have? I don't that like. I have that you don't have like legally. No, we did it. Who did?

Speaker 2: 1:40:30

it. Look at us now.

Speaker 1: 1:40:33

We did it, so now there's no, there's no need for this. Like Boys are better, girls are better. It's just we do different things. I think we have to get back to like being partners again, and I think there's a lot of people who are waking up like, hey, whenever, whenever the female leads, it creates chaos. Now, I don't believe it's necessarily meant to be bad. I believe that women are naturally chaos. The emotional element is chaotic, but that can also be spontaneous and exciting and fun and playful. You know, in naughty, you know like the chaos element is just unscheduled, it's out of nowhere, and that can also be a very healthy and positive thing.

Speaker 1: 1:41:14

I think today women are leaning into boss bitches and bad babes and all this stuff that, if you watch the movies, portray a bad bitch or whatever it's supposed to be. They're just mean people. And the observation would be I've said this before I've got, I've got friends who are very, very gay. And have you ever seen like a drag queen show before where the guy's dresses women Fucking hysterical? They're so funny but they're over the top? It's a very embellished version of a woman. The eyelashes are like this long and like the hair is this big and their heels are this tall, like everything is super embellished, and I think that that's the guys doing their embellished version of what they think the women are. It's a way bigger and bolder and louder everything.

Speaker 1: 1:42:07

If I'm watching these bad bitches, if you will, these boss babes, it's, I believe, the embellished version of what they think men are mean, aggressive, loud, angry. Fuck all you all get mine. And I'm like Good, good men don't do that. What are, what are you doing? It's an embellished version of unhealthy behavior. But good leaders don't do that. We give and we provide and we support and we sacrifice and we Encourage and we are empathetic. We build. We build things. This is a funny world we're in. We're watching it, all being Kind of just bastardized in this weird opinion system that no one's really thinking too much about. They're just doing and the weapons against you that has made it so you had to create your own universe were blame, shame and judgment. And you said fuck this game. And that's the game right now. I Honor you as a warrior to say fuck this game, building my own world. Then Now you've connected podcasters to podcasters and stuff.

Speaker 2: 1:43:22

Is that right, like I just want to make sure, like you've kind of created this whole universe or network having yes, a lot of guests and Podcast hosts, and then, by nature of it, right, a lot of podcast guests are also podcasters, and it's been a community that I Like, just just deeply love people who are doing really important work, probably at a higher percentage than I've experienced in other Communities where this is the type of commonality. So, yeah, it's, it's been a lot of fun.

Speaker 1: 1:43:55

And you probably have a connection with so many people that people need to know, right yes, I would argue yes. Good. Do you have a way that people can access, like where your work is? We're like who are the people that we need to get in touch with? I want to watch their show or I want to support their programs? How can, how can, they utilize your amazing abilities to be like? Here's where you go To see all the stuff that I've been building with all these people?

Speaker 1: 1:44:19

Yeah is there a place? I don't know. I don't know if there is, because I know you have the, the life with passion, stuff. I don't know if there's a way you can go, like, these are my people.

Speaker 2: 1:44:27

Yeah, that's a great question. Probably my my press page, which you will be on soon, sir, but the, the folks that I've chosen to connect with right, a lot of times we wind up doing something publicly, whether they're coming on my show, they are having me on their show, and so it's a pretty good Amalgamation of some quality people there at just life, with passion, comm slash press.

Speaker 1: 1:44:56

That sounds awesome. Yeah, I would hope everybody goes and checks it out and sees the stuff on there. I'm not gonna have some awesome like trigger names, something like the most misogynistic guest I've ever. Oh, you know what you're gonna have to tell me.

Speaker 2: 1:45:09

I'm so curious because there could have been a couple, that's just through this men's coach. This men's coach is the most sexist man alive you know, I wound up on one of those shows. It would shock me. I'll let you check it out and you can tell me.

Speaker 1: 1:45:33

This is OZ. It's all judgments. That's why it's funny to me yeah, for sure but no, I'd love for people to check out your stuff. I know we got a. We got a bounce out of here in a minute. Is there any place that I can like we can send everybody so we can support you and whatever the next chapter is, or any Programs or projects that you're on that we can go like, hey, let's support you this way or subscribe to or join it.

Speaker 2: 1:45:55

Yeah, you know what I would say? My podcast let's get visible entrepreneurs. It's Helping folks. Try, not try helping folks to Market their businesses in a way that's authentic because they have something important to do in the world, and I think a lot of what we're taught with with marketing and with business is From a toxic place. Whoever created it?

Speaker 1: 1:46:28

Seems correct. It seems correct. I've lost a lot of money with people who make bad promises on.

Speaker 2: 1:46:36

Yep, yep, so that's. That's where that's the work. We're attempting to change the conversation around.

Speaker 1: 1:46:46

Yeah, I'm with you there where I think you're trying to build a new category with less bullshit.

Speaker 2: 1:46:52

It's a good tagline.

Speaker 1: 1:46:54

Yeah, I think that's where I'm at with my stuff. You can't categorize me. I'm not a coach, I'm not a motivational speaker. I'm not just a psychologist. I'm not a psychiatrist. I'm not a Life coach. I'm not a therapist. I'm not a counselor. I do real deep, hard-ass work with maximum results in a very short time. We still don't know what category this is because it's not doing the same thing as other things.

Speaker 2: 1:47:20

Do you?

Speaker 1: 1:47:20

and so when I'm working with people, it's pretty fast and they don't know what, like they don't know to call it yet Right right.

Speaker 2: 1:47:27

Do you identify as like there are pieces of what I do that some people who call themselves this do, Etc.

Speaker 1: 1:47:36

Yeah, I've got pieces of all of it because I would technically fall under behavioral psychologists, but I do transformational deep work at an advanced level so it changes people's lives, like I had a guy this week who's like dude, I've been with you for one week and I've gotten more out of this than I have 10 years of therapy. I love that because I deal in practical application, not just ideas and feelings.

Speaker 2: 1:47:56

Mm-hmm, no dude, this is.

Speaker 1: 1:47:57

I've got. I've got testimonials of Marines and stuff who are like, or army guys. We're like. I did 15 years of therapy, four months here made it. So I don't have any of those issues. I might PTSD, my anger issues, all that stuff I don't. I know how to fight it now. I know how to do it. So we're still trying to figure out what we call.

Speaker 2: 1:48:17

Yes, in the meantime, you're just like you're helping people.

Speaker 1: 1:48:24

God's work doesn't require a title. That's why people like you need to be involved, because, like I don't know what to call it, I'm just doing what God said.

Speaker 2: 1:48:30

Yep, I hear that, yep yeah so, christine, it's an honor.

Speaker 1: 1:48:35

I hope everybody goes and checks out your stuff. I hope that we can do more too, because I think that we just got to meet each other and get an idea. Like now I know who this dude is.

Speaker 2: 1:48:44

Yeah so.

Speaker 1: 1:48:46

So now I hope that we can do more, and I definitely want to be able to showcase more of you in the future.

Speaker 2: 1:48:52

If you're up, yeah, I would love to love to do more, so, thank you, here's to that.

Speaker 1: 1:48:57

Thank you, thank you.