129. Kings and Warriors!!! JR Harvey: Kings Community

What if the secret to reclaiming your true self as a man lies in breaking free from societal expectations and outdated beliefs? Join us as we sit down with JR Harvey, the visionary behind King’s Community, a thriving network of 16,000 men dedicated to mental health and personal growth. Together, we explore the misconceptions surrounding masculinity, the pitfalls of being a "nice guy", and the path to becoming a strong, authentic leader in your own life.

Through compelling narratives and thought-provoking discussions, we address the challenges men face in balancing personal aspirations with societal pressures. JR shares his journey of overcoming procrastination, navigating relationship dynamics, and shedding childhood coping mechanisms that no longer serve us. We delve into the power of belief systems, the importance of male camaraderie, and the transformative potential of mentorship and peer support.

This episode also tackles the complex emotional landscape of grief, the dual nature of social media, and the unique hurdles of raising teenage daughters in the digital age. From battling victim mentality to finding purpose through adversity, JR and I highlight the critical need for professional mental health support and the role of community in fostering resilience. Join the King's Community Warriors and start your journey of personal growth and leadership today.

Connect with JR Harvey here>>>

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:11

and what's up warriors, welcome back to the battlefield of mind. I'm rick and I'm here today with jr harvey king's community men helping men. Men need men. You guys have heard it over and over again jr, welcome to the show. All right, tell the people who you are so we can get started yeah, yeah, so I am the creator of king Community.

Speaker 2: 0:33

I'm a men's mental health advocate as well as a coach.

Speaker 2: 0:37

I've been working with guys for about seven years now in different capacities mentoring them, coaching them, helping them overcome relationship issues, issues with, you know, with procrastination, and really the big issue that I think most of them have in common is this issue with maybe a lack of masculinity or being a bit or way too passive in different areas of their lives.

Speaker 2: 1:09

And we've built a pretty good sized community now of probably about 16,000 guys in our discord where it's all, it's all completely free or going through it themselves, and really just gave guys a space where they can communicate freely about whatever it is that they're going on or whatever it is that's going on in their lives, as well as be anonymous, you know, through the server, so they have no worries about any of that stuff and it's that right there. The community has been the coolest part of this journey for me Just watching that grow, watching guys step up and volunteer to be leaders, because they came and they got help and they wanted to, you know, help the other guys. It's been a beautiful experience for me, hopping on the calls, listening to guys share things, as well as seeing guys come back and and share the victories as as they go through it that's big man.

Speaker 1: 2:18

Let's, let's go ahead and tackle the big one man first off. Wait, if I can go dude, like 16 000 dudes in one place, like I've got thousands of guys, I've got hundreds I work with directly and it's a, it's a big calling man. It's hard to do that, it's not easy at all. Big calling man. It's hard to do. That, it's not easy at all. And so, honor to you. I'm taking more guys to help them get like. You know for the judgmental terminology. I meet a lot of guys who had their balls cut off and I'm like, bro, let's sell those back on man, you look good with those on you. Let's get those back on you, buddy. And so, like, getting our guys back to, like going from nice guy to good man, it's a big calling.

Speaker 1: 2:51

So let's go ahead and jump into this masculine anything. What the fuck are you talking about? Masculine what? What are you talking about? How do you do that or what does that mean? Because it seems like if I were to help any guys, it's just going to be toxic masculinity. Is all we're doing? We're just, we're just building toxic masculine men, right? That's all we do, are we all?

Speaker 2: 3:11

being.

Speaker 1: 3:11

That's what we're experts at yeah, we're experts at toxic masculinity. Let's go ahead and be the most toxic assholes out there. So help me out here. Help me out. Am I doing toxic masculinity or what is it? What is masculinity? What are we doing here?

Speaker 2: 3:24

yeah, I I think the keys and something that I've heard you talk a lot about and even just now, this conversation that that we we had before we hopped on here um, I think a big part of it to me is it's learning how to lead learning how to lead yourself first, most importantly, and part of that is being authentic, being able to be your authentic self, not allowing the fears of what other people think or how they're going to react stop you from expressing your genuine thoughts, beliefs and feelings about things. And, you know, learning how to lead yourself, your relationship, your, your career or your business. I think that's a really big part of it Just learning how to be authentic.

Speaker 2: 4:18

And a lot of guys kind of forget what they even want. You know, they don't have any like dreams or goals or desires by the time I meet them, because they've kind of taught themselves that their biggest goal is to make other people happy and in order to do that, they have to sacrifice all of their happiness, their dreams, their goals, their desires. They've taught themselves not to want anything other than other people's approval and watching them get what they want and they desire. So, you know, I think they call that selfish these days.

Speaker 1: 5:04

Isn't that kind of ironic? Everything you just mentioned is how a guy is a maximum giver and I give everything, even my dream up, for you to be happy, and they call it selfish. Even my dream up for you to be happy, and they call it selfish. How crazy, mean, abusive, narcissistic. Well, wait a second, let's go ahead and see. Like the guy just said, I sacrificed even my dreams and my wants to make sure you're happy, and yet I'm a narcissist. These terms are thrown around. I'm going to play in the social media world a little bit with you because I see that's like mostly your bread and butter is. You're just seeing the fucking abuse that's out there, and so let's go ahead and get into the real thing. You got guys in here. You're talking about authenticity and I'm going to even throw in a word in there that needs to be there.

Speaker 1: 5:42

That's also judged harshly as confidence, and the calling to leadership is fucking brutal and people think that leadership is an obligation, that is a given. It's fucking hard. Most people aren't leaders for a reason. It's hard, it's hard, and yet these guys are supposed to be kings or warriors and just be the leader who teaches people how to do that. No, how much leadership training was there in school. Yeah, yeah, what the fuck is that alpha? I don't remember that class I didn't have. That was in high school. When was alpha class? I missed that. Like how are you supposed to know what that means? And the term now today has been bastardized by big biceps means alpha like hold on a second, you know, being um louder and more aggressive means alpha.

Speaker 1: 6:34

I'm just. I know I'm kind of going all over, but you just asked a question. I don't even put on the table until section 12 in my program, which is what do you want?

Speaker 1: 6:44

yeah no, just so you guys know, like do jr and I are saying right now you're not fucking crazy for not knowing the answer. It's one of the hardest questions for men to answer is what do you want? And it changes. Well, we have no idea where to begin. When were you supposed to be trained to be able to know what you want? Because ever since you were born, you were told what to do next by your parents, and then your teachers, and then your coaches, and then your bosses, and then your spouses, and somebody's always told you what you're supposed to do next and you're supposed to be a leader. When were you supposed to transition? Right? I don't remember. So it's tough, man.

Speaker 1: 7:24

So how do you do that? Now, jr? I know I'm jumping around a lot. So, man, keep going. I just got excited because this is what we both do. We just keep, keep going. I just got excited because this is what we both do. We just see the thing, and I got the armor training coming up here. But we see the thing here that's happening to our guys. But keep going with what you want. I was, I got, I got pumped also, just heads up. So you know, you and me, I just did like a workout right before this. I'm kind of jazzed right now and then you're gonna wait. Like I'm a little like I feel a little endorphin rush right now.

Speaker 2: 7:51

Yeah, you and me both. Man, that's funny, that's good, go ahead.

Speaker 2: 7:55

So, yeah, no, no. I think that that, uh, that leader, like when? When are you supposed to learn how to be a leader? Because until I met my first mentor in life, when I, like, had all the realizations that I needed to have to start making my own transformation. Because, believe it or not, I wasn't always this guy. I was just like everyone who follows me. I was overweight, I was super passive in everything I did. My girlfriend, who is now my wife, and even after we got married, she was completely leading the relationship. She made more money than me, she made all the decisions. She decided where we went on vacation, where we lived, you know what, what people we hung out with, like all of that. And it wasn't until I met a man that I really respected and was able to follow his leadership. It wasn't until then that I started.

Speaker 2: 8:51

No one ever taught me that I should be leading. No one ever taught me that I should be leading. No one ever taught me that I should be, you know, doing certain things and stepping up in in my relationship. The only example I had was my own parents, which you know. My dad was a stay at home dad and my mom was a nurse and a lawyer. So you know that was my example. I saw it as, basically, you know, she can take the reins and I followed my mom's leadership for a majority of my life. You know, I went to school and got an engineering degree and did a lot of things only because she said I should Right and she approved of those those things. Even you know my my now wife she was the only girl that she ever approved of and I spent so long just seeking female approval and validation, as well as validation from friends and family.

Speaker 2: 10:02

And just, you end up in this place where that works in the beginning of your life. You know, works as a child because it keeps you safe, it gets your needs met. You know it works as a child because it keeps you safe, it gets your needs met. Everybody, you're very likable because you're allowing everyone else to get what they want, and who doesn't like getting what they want? So everybody's your friend, right.

Speaker 2: 10:25

But then you reach this stage of life where you start to become an adult and have all the adult responsibilities and I think we can all agree life as an adult is very different than life as a child and those strategies no longer work. And I always ask guys like hey, would you ever walk up to a 10 year old boy, tell him everything that you just told me and ask him for advice on what you should be doing with your life from here? And ask him for advice on what you should be doing with your life from here? Of course you wouldn't. It's silly to even think that you would. He has no idea about anything.

Speaker 2: 11:00

But we ourselves developed these strategies when we were 5, 10, 15, 18 years old and we continue to believe that those are the right lenses to view life right. That is where we establish this worldview and we carry it into adulthood and it causes problems everywhere in your career, in your relationships, in your marriage, in your social life, in your physical and your mental health, in your your physical and your mental health. It it will seep its way into every area of your life until you, until you break. And um, I've I've seen many guys you know reach that breaking point, and it's typically it's it ends in like a divorce type situation, unfortunately, if you don't get things sorted out um in time. So a lot.

Speaker 1: 11:58

You went over a few different things that are powerful things here. You talked about the approval of the matriarch, which is a big deal, you know, like I needed mom's approval, and so then your, your girlfriend later on mimics the same behaviors that you're familiar with, which is, the matriarch will call the shots and I am here to serve, and approval only comes from the woman who tells me I am good or not good, which means how are you ever supposed to be a leader? You're not. You're designed to be a peasant, you know. You're a. She's the queen and I am here to serve. Yes, my lady, you know, and that's going to create a very different dynamic, because how does she get safety, security?

Speaker 2: 12:36

That's right.

Speaker 1: 12:38

She has to create it. She's the only one who will create it. And when ladies have to create safety, security, how does that work with empathy in the men?

Speaker 2: 12:48

There is none.

Speaker 1: 12:48

There is none. It is impossible, and that's a big part of what's happening today is women are being told that they have to do it all and they don't need men, and men are taught to be weak and passive and that they need to get the approval from women because they are better than us, and the only way that that's true is if we make sure that we are worse than them.

Speaker 2: 13:10

That's right.

Speaker 1: 13:11

You can't be beaten Like I can't, like like no one's gonna. The women aren't gonna physically make you stop something. They can shame and judge you into you being self-censoring. Yeah, I can shame you into isolation. I can judge you into self-deprecation. I can make, I can have you beat your own ass.

Speaker 1: 13:32

I can't, I can't stop you, but I can make you stop you that's right and that's where I'm watching these things, where you said these defense protocols that are built in there since you're 10 years old or 12 years old or 14 years old, I do a armor training is what I call that. What kind of armor are you using to protect yourself? I see guys all the time walk around with like pots and pans and cast iron skillets and shit and calling it armor. I'm like when did you build this armor, man? Like when I was 10, this is all I had.

Speaker 1: 13:59

I'm like you are 40 years old. You're still using pots and pans. Like no wonder you're getting your ass kicked. You need an iron man suit. Man. We gotta, we gotta get nanotech in here. This is incorrect. There's better tech now than pots and pans. Now. That's not even your armor. That's not even your warrior type. You're the. That's the wrong armor for you. No wonder you're struggling in relationships and authenticity and leadership. You're wearing pots and pans when you're a fucking archer or you're a mage or you're a fucking barbarian like you're wrong armor dude yeah, you're stuck in the kitchen, man yeah, you're still washing the fucking dishes because you're fucking scared to be yourself.

Speaker 1: 14:35

Now, there's some big things here, but those defense protocols, the beliefs, the filters that we see life through to make it so you will comply, interesting things happening. So how do you help guys with this man, the belief systems that they're supposed to just follow the women and they're supposed to shut the fuck up and you're supposed to get in line? And how are you supposed to help these guys feel confident, authentic, powerful, strong? Like what are we supposed to do here? What do you?

Speaker 2: 14:59

do. We got to identify the beliefs right. We got to identify the beliefs and get them to realize that in life, your results are there's. There's a cycle that we teach and I learned this a long time ago in like a sales training when I was younger, and it's called the belief flywheel and in it it says you've got your beliefs, your actions and your results. We can all agree that the results that we're getting in life right now are directly due to the actions that we're taking.

Speaker 2: 15:39

What makes us take or not take those actions? It is our beliefs, right. So we need to identify the beliefs that's causing us to take or not take actions that are giving us that result. And then the sick part about this is that is a cycle and it is either working for you or against you and every time you get a result it's going to reinforce that positive or negative belief in your life, right. So we have to identify those beliefs and a lot of times you identify them by. You know it's your thoughts, like what were you thinking before you took that action, like what went through your mind. You know, stop and think about that before you. You know, before you stopped yourself from saying what you wanted to say to her what, what came into your mind? Oh well, um, I was thinking this is going to make her really upset. Oh okay, why do you believe that? Right, you're like well, you know growing up that I had a really emotional parent.

Speaker 1: 16:51

it turns out, or whatever you know growing up that I had a really emotional parent. It turns out, or whatever, I just know it's going to make her upset. Right, I just guard against. I have to protect myself against her possible future feelings. Exactly, I did that training. I do that training still. I'm going to, I'm actually let's do something, cause I already like what you're doing very much, and so let's team up a little bit here, cause we're both teachers and I see you teaching, so I'm going to show what he's talking about here. So I'm going to jump into this screen here. I don't normally do this when we're recording, but let's go ahead and talk about it. You talked about the belief system, your potential, how much action, and then the results that go right back to your belief system again, and I train this too.

Speaker 2: 17:35

Are you familiar yet with the?

Speaker 1: 17:35

map that I created to help show human behavior. I'm not. I'm not. I would love to see it. I love this.

Speaker 1: 17:37

So this is the thing that, like Tony Robbins teaches this, and other teachers teach this. And so this is the thing where your belief system triggers how much potential you believe, which is how much action you're going to put into something which will give you a result, and whether it goes well or not well will infigurate your belief of whether your attitude is like I can do it or I can't do it, which is how much potential you believe you have, how hard you go after it. It's the same cycle over and over again. It's a little more complicated. This is your goal cycle. Now we got to go into. Now here's my map for how people work. Now this system is right here your belief, your potential, your actions, your results. This is when you're going for your dreams. Now the potential can be connected to identity, but that's a different training.

Speaker 1: 18:16

Now let's get into just this part here. How does this get fucked up? You know, our belief is the core of everything. This is how I see the world. This is I believe that all men are bad, all women are bad. All people do this. Everyone's a racist. Everyone is that.

Speaker 1: 18:29

Whatever your belief filters are, you'll add that to everything that you do and that goes this direction. How does it get there? Well, is it from values, or is the weak spot feelings? The weak spot's? Obviously feelings.

Speaker 1: 18:43

So let's get into what are we talking about with this whole feeling section? That gets into your fear, your excuses, your doubt, your distractions, but it also goes into the thing that people need to practice the most, and this is every man out there how to grieve. Yeah, ptsd, all kinds of issues alcoholics, addiction, you fucking name it. If I T, I train this more than anything else. My next book is just about this is people do not know how to grieve, and almost every diagnosis that I work with and I can even teach we beat anxiety, I beat depression, we beat unaliving. We've beaten every single thing. Why? Because people just don't know how to deal with what the fuck happened.

Speaker 1: 19:27

So when you understand how to go through denial, depression, anger, bargaining, and go into and train radical acceptance, it slows down these things that come in through your feelings, which goes to that belief that you're talking about. How do these beliefs get to what they are? What the fuck happened to make these be there? How did the belief get there in the first place? Well, if you're not going to go ahead and challenge doubt for the dream that you have, that makes you feel a certain way to get to that belief system and you don't cut this thing off right here, all of this doesn't matter anymore. Yeah, because you can have the coolest idea in the world and think you're a fucking idiot and it'll never work.

Speaker 1: 20:07

And if you do just one thing? Or what about fear and like, well, what if they do this? And what if that goes wrong? And what if they do this and I can't maybe do it if this happens? And what if they don't believe me? And what if they happen this and what if this? And what if that? And what if this and what if this? You have a heightened imagination and creativity. What does that make you do? It makes me feel a lot.

Speaker 1: 20:23

My feelings, all my feelings, man. Well then, what does that do to your belief system? Fucked, if your belief is ruined before you even get started? I'll send you a copy of this because it's fun as fuck when you start finding people on this, especially your men. I do trainings on this where I go. Where are you on this thing? Where is it jammed up? Where are you jammed so? That way you know where to start. Where is it getting you the worst? Where are you messed up? Is it love? Is it in here? Maybe is it in your values? Not, not likely. Is your identity corrupted? Yeah, but by what? This is a very cool tool. I can. We'll do a training later on on this. You'll love it, cause I do big trainings and find people jammed up.

Speaker 2: 21:03

Yeah, that's beautiful, I love that.

Speaker 1: 21:05

When you use this kind of stuff, all the things that you're saying are all findable and all beatable. You're like dang, there's a thing right there. Dang, you got that buddy. Oh, that thing right there, that's you. None of it's a problem anymore, it's all beatable.

Speaker 1: 21:17

These guys having the belief in lie factor. Well, you're probably jammed up in denial, man, if there's lies in there, what are you doing? If there's excuses, is it excuses? Let's check out what's going on there, man. Well, I'm gonna have a negative reaction. You're gonna catch my control systems, my fight flight freezer, faunal, kick in. Well, what's going on there? Why do you have that? Why are you defending right now? What are you guarded up against? What's the attack? Dude, I'm with you, I'm not. I'm not against you, I'm with you. What are you fighting here, man? But you'll actually listen, you and I can hang out outside of this, because most people don't even know about that. And then, when they do, they're like dude, I want that thing. How do I use it? How do I help my guys? Happy to man, like, because, like, we're both on the front line yeah, no, that's awesome and it's so important.

Speaker 2: 22:03

It's like I heard someone explain, explain. It's just breaking things down for guys, right, and making it kind of like uh, you know, with our I've got kids now and they love playing with Legos, right, and you dump out all the Legos and then what do you do? Do you look at the box and try and put together? No, there's a step-by-step, right, and when you have the step-by-step it comes together and you can get this beautiful thing. But without it, you got no chance. Man, there's no chance you're putting together the Death Star or anything like that without the roadmap and having a map like that where you can key in on that stuff and just walk them through. Man, that's awesome. I love that. I would love to hear more about it.

Speaker 1: 22:56

We can do that. I'll even come in and do something with your guys, um, and you can come in with my guys too. We always like there's no competition. I think that's one thing I want to point out too. With men's organization, I have multiple men's leaders that come on the show. You know tim orego, uh, earl, uh, earlston, sven, earlston, like there's all these badass dudes who are helping thousands and thousands of men. I don't see anybody as competition and they don't see me as competition. There's not a. We can't get to enough. You know jason steiner, and and the guys who are out there front line just helping pull dudes out of the fucking mess and there's not enough of us. You could have 10 million guys and I'm like dude, I'll toss you more.

Speaker 2: 23:43

We can't get to them all.

Speaker 1: 23:44

I am you know these things is like how do I serve you, man? How do I help you? And you see, other guys who are out there and anybody I know who's at a certain level is just like I can't get to them all. Man, how can I help you? How can you help my community? How can I help your community? And that's the thing. I just want everybody to point out that the men who are leading are not competing. I don't give a fuck about how many followers you got or how many I got. I don't care at all. How many men's lives have you saved? How many dads are still here because of you Because I have you saved? How many dads are still here because of you? Because I got a fucking list, man, I got people who I had to talk off the edge over and over. I got all these guys there's. There's videos of me like right after those calls. Like you just saved a man's life fucking five minutes ago. He's gonna kill himself. I've even had to do this with my own dad fucking proud too. I can feel myself in here fucking proud of my fucking dad. He had to call me. He called me. He's like I'm about to fucking do it right now, man, like I got you, I got you dad. I had to train for years to make it, so when this moment comes up, I got you, I got you. My dad and I got to have a good talk the other day. I love it.

Speaker 1: 24:48

My brother ryan's back in my life. He was gone for 10 years, just so fucking angry. He's just angry at the world. Fucking mad. Disappeared 10 years, got adopted by another family and everything. Fuck. He's going through my program. That's my fucking roll dog. That's my dude.

Speaker 1: 25:01

Never saw it coming. Never saw it coming. All these guys were fucking hurting out there Just didn't know how to beat. Bro, I know the edge and I'm going to come and get you. It's not a fucking book. It's not a book.

Speaker 1: 25:16

What book do you have to read to save a man's life? No, I just been to the fucking edge. I know where you're at. I'm coming to get you. Dude. I know what it looks like when you look over the edge and go. Maybe nothing is better than this. I'm like I know where you're at. In hell, dude. I used to live there. I'll be there soon. It's not a fucking book, and so this is why I honor guys like you who are leading going. I know where you're at, man, I know the pain you're feeling and we can sit there and look at a guy who's sitting there about to fucking end it all and see empathy and compassion and care, not judgment, not weakness, not man up or stop being a bitch, but do your fucking heart's hurting, bro, and how can I be there for you? Anyways, just sharing that with you. These are powerful moments where you and I have to do and people don't get it, man.

Speaker 1: 26:08

Yeah, and you're going to make me cry here, man.

Speaker 2: 26:13

I mean honestly like it's it's so true and that that statement you said earlier I couldn't agree. I I had a business partner that just couldn't understand that at one point where I was like, dude, we're not competing against anybody. There is an abundance of men out there hurting, struggling. There's no, there's no competition. We are all allies in this. Trying to find like a lot of people don't understand my content, um, cause, a lot of my content is like dark, depressing content.

Speaker 2: 26:49

You know, I make a lot of these, these AI, voiceovers and and different types of videos. Before I started doing a lot of the reaction videos that were, that were just to relate and find the guys who were at the ledge. You know, because those guys aren't watching motivational videos. Those guys aren't, aren't, aren't watching. You know that that type of stuff. They're in the algorithm where I found myself one point where I was seeing stuff like talking about the brokenness, talking about you know how you're feeling in that moment, right the, that, that feeling of like you said nothing sounds a lot better than this right now and everyone here would probably be better off if I was gone. No one, not only would no one miss me, they would be better off without me and and that is such a dark way.

Speaker 1: 27:49

Take the hope away, the purpose away. Take that there's any fucking reason away. Take it. Hope away, the purpose away. Take that there's any fucking reason away. Take it all away. And like this is where, like I I I honor you on this one like I, know what the fucking edge feels like man and I get to see my fucking favorite people on earth talk about it, get right to the edge of it, know what it looks like to go like dude. I was probably less than a couple seconds away from not being here and it doesn't seem like that fucking matters to anybody. Still, it do. Fucking matters to me. I fucking care, you know, and for you to be in those pits you, you give. You make depressing content. No, I make depression content, because motherfuckers don't give a fuck like that's. You guys have hearts, these men have big hearts. I think here's, here's a content thing for you. Guys are natural givers. Challenge it now, remember. This is also, I said, you know men. I'll say this men are natural givers.

Speaker 1: 28:45

Boys are takers, children are takers. All of them, boys and girls, takers. They're supposed to be their betas. Boys and girls are all supposed to be takers. All of them, boys and girls, takers they're supposed to be. They're betas. Boys and girls are all supposed to be takers. They're dependents. That's what that means. Being a child is to be a dependent. They're supposed to be takers.

Speaker 1: 29:03

Now, some people may age, but not mature. Some people may age, they just don't mature. They stay boy or girl mentality and they still have years under their belt but they still haven't grown out of it. A man will give everything. A woman will give, like they give. People when they mature are givers. They will give. I will support. I will know which my job is. I know your job. You know if you're leading. I'm strategizing Like we are a team, like there's a purpose to each thing, and you see people all the time judging.

Speaker 1: 29:37

You're making depressing content. You're making negative content. No, I'm making purposeful content. There are people out there who don't know their role. They don't know their purpose, they don't have hope and you're going to shit on that with another judgment to make it. So you should self-censor, jr. You should stop making that content because I said it's depressing content. No, there's depressed people that you don't want to think about content. There's people who don't have hope that you don't want to think about because that makes you feel bad? Well, they're fucking hopeless. Where's your compassion for them? I don't have compassion. I just worry about my own feelings. Those who judge it's an interesting setup for authority. Who judges Equals? Not likely. No, I feel like I'm in some position to say that I can tell you what's good, bad, right, wrong, enough or not enough. I'm in some sort of mindset authority that, because I have an opinion, I should rule over you and change your behavior. I like that. You say we are fucking kings. Go ahead and judge.

Speaker 1: 30:58

I'm not going to listen to that shit. As king, you can say whatever you want, but doesn't mean I have to comply as warrior. Feel free to be defiant. I can agree to disagree on many things. Go ahead, go ahead. You're making just depressing content. They're fucking hurt guys out there right now where are you bringing hope? Into their life. So fuck them. Make the content you need to to save someone's life, man there's one warrior to another, king fuck them save a life dude, go save some dude's life today.

Speaker 1: 31:30

Fuck that yeah I honor you, dude fucking go get him a judgment's gonna make it so people deserve to die, fuck you.

Speaker 2: 31:40

That's my judgment yeah, not listen, I get it. Yeah, I like, but it's yeah, it's just so crazy to me and and I don't feel the need to like explain that to him either right, it, it's just like. Listen, you don't get it, feel free to leave. It's all good. It's all good. It's not for you. Good, head out somewhere else. You don't need it anymore, you're better.

Speaker 1: 32:04

The people, the people who hate you, will listen to three times more than the people who love you. That's Howard Stern figured that out a long time ago. You remember that movie? It was at uh, what is it? The one where he was, it's, I forget the name of it, but um, when they made his movie and they're like the howard stern love people who love him. They listen to him an hour a day. They're like, oh yeah, cool. And the people who hate him like how long is this? Like three to five hours a day. They're like what the hell? They hate him. He's like, yeah, they, yeah. The response was they just wanted to hear what he's going to say next. So the haters will be like they'll give you more views than anybody else and tell all your friends you hate me. Tell them all because there's somebody in your circle that you don't know is hurting, who says they're fine, I'm good, I'm all right.

Speaker 1: 32:51

I train with some world-class guys. I have guys who are millionaires, billionaires, very successful guys. I have very, very, very, very powerful men who feel so fucking alone. Man, money doesn't make it so you feel connected. It just makes some things more convenient and many times it just amplifies how disconnected you are, and many times it just amplifies how disconnected you are. Like it's amazing to see some of these guys out there who have the outside appearance of strength or success, who are fucking drowning in their own sorrow and they don't have a fucking clue how to get out of it. Man, they're Atlas, holding the weight of the fucking world on their shoulders and I don't know how to get this off. Man, and everyone says you're the leader, so you're judged harshly, living in a fishbowl where everybody's opinion is looking at your life, so you can't even shrug, bro.

Speaker 1: 33:42

I don't think people understand what we do. I think it's a show. Man, this is the show. You guys can hear about the show, but, man, people who know us go like dude, you walked into hell to get that guy, didn't you? You're like I fucking know the path, dude. Yeah, go get that guy. So, anyways, I know I'm passionate about this, but I just see enough guys like you getting judged. I kind of get defensive for a brother. I'm like fuck you, dude. That guy is saving lives right now. What the fuck did you do today? Consume, take, judge. Now. What the fuck did you do today?

Speaker 2: 34:17

Consume, take, judge, and somehow you're the fucking hero in the story Fuck you. Yeah, that's it, you know, and it's the, the hate. I think. I think I think that's an important thing. I think it's important to get to a point. I think everybody should get to a point where they're they're hated, because for a lot of guys you talk about being nice guys or being passive, whatever that's their biggest fear is to be disliked, to be hated by people. So they, they hover in this zone where, because they will not do anything to make anyone dislike or hate them, they will never do anything to make anyone truly love them either.

Speaker 1: 35:56

This is why men need men. Man, that's an important thing. I'm more scared of being disliked or unapproved of or not belonging, and yeah, it's a core human need. This is why men need the communities you have. That's why men need the warrior's way. Men need the fucking king's community. That's why they need us. Why? Because if your pack of fucking warriors and your pack of kings are able to say, dude, you're important, you matter, you are valuable, the world can say whatever it wants. Then because you know you can come back to people you respect and go damn, they said this shit and this is a real, this is a truth for you guys.

Speaker 1: 36:37

Something that was said that was mean, cold, heartless, intended to do maximum damage to you. When you are all alone, it will eat you alive. But when you go to your pack of strong men, it becomes comedy, not tragedy. If someone said like yeah, they called me some dumb, bald motherfucker. I'm like that's just hilarious. You're beautiful as bald man, what are you talking about? And then, like if you're with your strong guys, that becomes comedic, but you sit there. If you're by yourself, it turns into like this like is this really a fucking problem, is it? No, you look fucking Jason Statham sexy. What are you talking about, bro? Like it's a. It's one of those things where you hang out with strong, strong, good guys. That becomes comedy. But when you're by yourself it's tragedy. You know, you start second guessing, you start doubting, you start becoming insecure. But you hang out with other strong guys Like I was thinking about shaving my head with how good you look. If I had those eyes I'd shave the shit out of my head too. Like it's those kinds of things where you're with your boys who are confident and remind you to stay confident.

Speaker 1: 37:40

We need our pack so the world can say whatever they want, judge you however they want. I'm worried about being disliked. If you're approved of in a place that you are valued, the world can say whatever they want. You just see my comment section. It's hilarious, it's comedy to me because I have strong men. I can go through my section where it's, ironically, mostly women who try to do harm, which is a different topic because we've gone through our comments and going like it's majority women trying to do harm. I don't know why they're doing that, but if you go through and you're seeing the patterns on these things, I find it comedic, I don't find it disheartening or I'm unapproved of, and they'll be like well, it's because you're cocky. Another judgment. No, I'm confident in who I am.

Speaker 1: 38:24

You can't tell me that I'm three feet tall or seven feet tall. I know how tall I am. I'm fucking 5'10". Fuck you Like. I know the math. We're using a measurement system. You can call me whatever you want, but you can't hurt my feelings with things I know that are not true. What about things that are a little true? I'm like well, I know myself well enough there where I'll just admit the things that are are true, whatever you don't get caught up in being disliked or disapproved of. And if you have your pack, we're pack animals. So the little wolves go hungry man, the pack always eats. Anyways, I'm ranting today. I'm ranting today. You get me jazzed up, jay.

Speaker 2: 39:05

Yeah, that's awesome, man. I love to hear it. I love it. It's. It's so true, though we I and, and I just made a video about this earlier today Like men, men are more lonely than they've ever been. You know, there there's a stat that that came out. They did a study in 1990. It said only 3% of men said that they have no close friends. Today it's 15%. So I mean, you look at how many men are there in the US alone.

Speaker 1: 39:43

I don't know, maybe 100 million or so, not that many 150 million, probably 175 million.

Speaker 2: 39:50

It's even just kind of half. Right, yeah. So I mean there's tens of millions of men that have zero close friends that they can talk to at all.

Speaker 1: 40:01

That's just what you're getting into the western, western culture, because how many men are there in the world? It's well, it's multiple billions. Right, america, we're fucking. We're not even one percent of how many men there are. That's how funny, funny these numbers are if you look at it like they base it off of american stuff. Like you do know, like india and china has like a hundred times more people. Right, didn't know that.

Speaker 1: 40:25

Right, there's way more people there and they're suffering with the same stuff we, we just see ourselves as the most important country that's one percent of the population, I guess I think america is like not even five percent of the global population, and yet everybody bases all off of like america, hey, we're funny.

Speaker 2: 40:44

We're the leaders, everyone, everyone looks at us and does what we do, good or bad, for the rest of the world I think that's what we tell ourselves.

Speaker 1: 40:54

I think the rest of the world's like no, we don't. Uh, yeah, maybe I don't know.

Speaker 2: 40:58

I don't know it's like what well, you see, you see like a lot of the woke stuff getting into the other countries. You know that certainly didn't start over there.

Speaker 1: 41:06

There's a bigger thing there that didn't start. I mean there's something much larger going on there because that didn't start, because some college students were outspoken Like there's something else that's happening and that's much bigger and bigger than I could probably jump into on this one. But you're right, how do these things get indoctrinated, how these beliefs get out there? And, truth be told, during the developmental phase of people, that age between 18 and 22 is that age where you're trying to find significance or make an impact. It's a very normal thing for us to want to protest or change the world. That's what college is. You're supposed to go and say I'm going to fight the thing, I'm going to beat capitalism, I'm going to beat racism, I'm going to beat whatever. Pick your thing. You're supposed to go through it. Now, that was always a phase we needed to go through until you got that out of your system and then you got a real job and then you did some real shit. It's just, everybody went through that. It's a very common thing.

Speaker 1: 41:58

It only got weird when the law started getting passed, because somebody who was 19 said so we go, whoa, wait, uh no, it's allowed for them. They say all the things that they want. But now we're doing a law that says do what the 19 year old, who's never actually done anything outside of teachers and whatever. They've never done anything. Yet we are changing the law for that and there's going to be people who enforce what that person, who has no experience in life, said. Wait, what's going on? Oh, people are being fired now because of something that that kid said. Wait, what the fuck is going on? Hold on a second. Now we're losing freedoms. Now we're losing autonomy. Now we're switching things from like, let's be inclusive, to very exclusive. What the fuck just happened? Wait, whoa, whoa, hold on. What are you doing? We don't make laws off of this.

Speaker 1: 42:46

The laws were supposed to protect against that. That's where it started getting real weird, because people didn't give a fuck. If people protested, yeah, go ahead and do your right to protest. Absolutely Free speech, man. Until the protest was removed, free speech. You know, like that man, until the protest was removed, free speech. And you're like that's ironic and crazy. You know, things started getting weird.

Speaker 2: 43:07

Where I'm using my First Amendment to speak freely, to remove your speech, what? It's quite a paradox, huh.

Speaker 1: 43:14

Happens all the time. It's ironic to watch the people that were the most inclusive now hate any group for how they were born. I find it ironic. You know, 10 years ago that group used to be everyone needs to be included and now it's like I hate that group. How did the inclusion group become a hate group? The psychologist in me is blown the away. I'm like that's incredible how quickly that flipped.

Speaker 1: 43:39

The group that was the most inclusive and everyone should be working together now hates, hates people for how they were born. We don't laugh at that. I feel like the joker. All of a sudden I feel like I'm in a comedy. I'm like how did this happen? And then the group that was the most exclusive, the most conservative, the most closed off, is now being highly inclusive. I got gay conservatives. I got people who are like come on in, get on in here. Like. I got people who are like hilarious, shout out to conservative. I got people who are like they've got transgenders that have been on the show. They're like oh no, our group took it so far. I don't even hang out with them anymore. You know, I've got dark.

Speaker 1: 44:23

I got I got some good people that have been on the show who have been like nope, nope, shout out to reese. They're listening this episode. It's people who've been on. They're like no, it's fucked up. I don't know I'm. I do feel like I'm kind of ranting on you, bud. I feel like I'm just going, but, like these are passionate issues that you're bringing up, we're watching. We're watching the downfall of the things that we love. We're watching people get hurt. Homeath sent me some things where he talked about how white men are being excluded. Like white men, you can't be included anymore. Now, I'm not saying that white guys through history didn't do some bullshit, because anybody in power has done some bullshit. Anyone in power has done bullshit. You know for sure.

Speaker 2: 45:04

That's right.

Speaker 1: 45:06

And like. The truth is, it wasn't white men, it was weak men. Weak men with authority do horrible things. And now we're showing, when we give women power, it's not just weak men, it's weak people with authority do horrible things. Because I have women after women that I work with who were destroyed by another woman, fucking destroyed. You know the demolition rep, the reputation demolitions, the, the public destruction of another human being in the most maximum way they could possibly do. And you're going to say that it's just white men. No, it's weak. People with power do terrible things. And people all want power, not responsibility power.

Speaker 1: 45:51

These days we're in an interesting time, man. So how do we train kings and warriors? They have to be defiant, they have to be able to challenge, they have to push back and go. I don't agree with that. Confidently, I hear you. I just don't agree with you, and I hear your judgments and your threats and I don't comply. No, it's a full sentence. It was a full sentence when it came to your body. Well, no, it was a complete sentence. It's a complete sentence when you go to my compliance. I feel like I should drop this mic.

Speaker 2: 46:31

Oh man, yeah, yeah, a lot of people don't like the stuff we're talking about right now.

Speaker 1: 46:38

Good, it's hard to work on it's you versus you.

Speaker 2: 46:41

Yeah, yeah, it's okay to disagree.

Speaker 1: 46:44

They're invited. Invited, that's right. They're invited on the show. Shoot, I'll get you back on. You bring whoever you want on with you let's talk about because I want to hear their point of view and I've had guys I very much disagree with on the show and I loved it. I loved it. A four-hour show with a guy. I didn't agree with him on a lot of things, but I loved the time with him. I actually really appreciate him very, very much yeah, that's what.

Speaker 1: 47:03

That's what it should be four hours long longest episode I have with chris. He was wonderful. I would love to have him on again. I enjoy what he shares. We disagree a lot and I love him for it that's what it's all about.

Speaker 2: 47:17

We should be able to have those conversations and you should. You should be looking to have those conversations. You should be looking to have those conversations to develop your worldview, right? How else are we going to figure out if what we think is correct or not if we're not being challenged right? We need that, just like you need to be challenged in the gym and athletics and every other area of life. We need to challenge our worldviews, because I'll be the first to tell you like I listen, I believe there there's a lot of things that I have believed in my past that I do not believe anymore. Right, there are things that I had to leave behind that if you would have asked me, then I would have been. I would have told you them with conviction, and there's so many people out there right now that are very rarely correct, but they are also very rarely in doubt of themselves.

Speaker 1: 48:18

Damn so good. They're correct and without doubt I. I love it. How long does it take to change the belief system?

Speaker 2: 48:26

oh my, I think it depends how much pain you're in.

Speaker 1: 48:30

That's a good that's a good observation. Let's add a lot of pain. How long does it take to change your belief system?

Speaker 2: 48:35

I think you can. You can change it pretty quickly and and I I have I. I'm curious to know your thoughts on this because we, we, you showed that that graphic of the wheel right, and I've heard different people talk about it. I've we got to change the beliefs right, and I am more along the lines of to do that. There's different ways to do it, but I think the the the most efficient of to do that. There's different ways to do it, but I think the the the most efficient way to do that is by starting with changing your actions and doing things sometimes that you're you, you don't even believe will work yet I.

Speaker 1: 49:17

I appreciate it very much. Now, this is where disagree. I'm not saying it's not effective. What you said is obviously effective, I think it's the middle, not the beginning.

Speaker 2: 49:27

Where would you say it begins?

Speaker 1: 49:29

The beginning is is where's the curse come from in the first place? Your belief systems are corrupted by somebody who put something in there that isn't yours. Like understanding that you're most likely in a grieving system to begin with. If you're trying to go ahead and build something while you're carrying a mountain on your back, good fucking luck. Let's go ahead and take the mountain off and then get to work.

Speaker 1: 49:47

Most men, most men and women, women are actually mostly in denial. Well, actually both are in denial. It starts off with the grieving system on both sides. People don't know how to do it. They don't know how to deal with shit that happened already. That don't know how to deal with shit that happened already. That's the reality. Your brain can tell you something happened, but your heart and soul haven't caught up yet with the reality of it. Somebody died, your divorce happened, you lost your business, you lost your identity, your best friend betrayed you. These things happened. Your brain can tell you. I understand. Yet I carry the burden in my heart and in my soul everywhere. We'll go ahead and build an empire, man, I'm pretty weighed down before I begin building.

Speaker 1: 50:25

People don't know how to grieve. I got my soldiers, my guys who come back from war carrying out all these fucking nightmare stories. They don't know how to work through it. They know what happened, but they don't know how to process what happened. We don't know how to grieve appropriately. So I train it's a skill, by the way, and I argue this because I train it We've beaten PTSD, depression, anxiety, addiction. I fucking show you how to beat it. It's beatable, it's just do you know how to do this main thing? And so I train people how to grieve first. Because you can have all the action plans in the world or all the tactics in the world, but tactics without strategy is just noise before defeat. I wish I was playing that. That was sunsuit, by the way, that's not even mine so how do you teach people to grieve?

Speaker 1: 51:09

like what's that look like let's go ahead. Hey, let's let's. I love that we're training man we're diving in again pulling up the graphics.

Speaker 1: 51:16

I enjoy hanging with you, man. This is fun. I hope somebody gets something out of this if they're watching the video on this. I hope you get shit all right. So let's jump into the map again. What I'm talking about is this area right here now. This gets into my next book, just so you can know like we're getting ahead of time here.

Speaker 1: 51:31

Denial, depression, anger, bargaining people don't understand that these. Each arrow here is connected to this, except grace to acceptance. But why is acceptance down here? Because people's identities are routed inside of this thing, because they bounce back and forth between them all the time. I can't believe that fucking happened to me. True, I can't believe it either, so I don't want to think about it. But if only this were to happen. And if that were to happen, I'll get into the fantasy idea of what could, should or would have been. And then I'm bummed out because I can't fucking affect whatever and if you're so fucking angry, the injustice of what it is, so I don't want to think about it anymore. And then each of these, that's one of these fuckers in each one of these guys fear excuses, doubt, distractions. They're connected to them.

Speaker 1: 52:08

But what's associated with this is the part that I don't have in here, which is control. How do you control everything? Well, that's my fight flight, freeze and fawn. They're all connected to it. If you haven't noticed yet, denial denial.

Speaker 1: 52:19

Well, what's denial for control? Right, suppress, hide, retreat, flight. So when I'm in denial, I'm going to be not thinking about it in any way possible. I'm fucking out, not thinking about that, anything but right. Well, what's denial connected to Distractions? Well, what's distractions do Brings positive feelings? Oh well, I don't want to feel bad like I do when I'm in denial. I want to feel good. So I'll distract myself from the reality that is bad into something that isn't real that feels good. I want these to feel good, which will go to my beliefs. So give me an idea of I hate my life, I don't like how things are and I want to feel. Even numb would be wonderful right now, even if it's for a short time.

Speaker 1: 53:04

Enter alcohol, prescription, drugs, pornography, online shopping, social media, attention you pick your vice Anything where I do not like my reality and I want something different. Well, that's the recipe for addiction, right there. So where do addicts need to start? Denial? That's where we need to start. What is truth? Stop lying to yourself. Most people gaslight their introspection because they're terrified. Men are terrified of their feelings. Women are terrified of the truth.

Speaker 2: 53:36

Can you say that again? That was so good.

Speaker 1: 53:39

Men are terrified of their own feelings and women are terrified of the truth. Wow, denial, denial is the nastiest fuck on the board. You know why I can say that? Because people wouldn't suspect it, because it looks like protection. It's the mask you wear. It's the makeup, it's the outfit, it's the persona. It's the fucking suit with suspenders. It's the makeup, it's the outfit, it's the persona. It's the fucking suit with suspenders.

Speaker 1: 54:02

It's the bullshit that you project to this world that I am an alpha. I am a badass. You got kings and I got warriors, who are bullshit because they just put the mask on that we wear to say I'm doing good. Their authenticity gets exposed over time because you're like well, you know talking the talk, it's your turn to walk. You're like I'm out. You know talking the talk, it's your turn to walk. You're like I'm out.

Speaker 1: 54:23

The truth will get exposed at some point. Truth is the fucking enemy man. People are struggling with reality, and so I don't want to deal with that one. Well then, what do you do when you're bouncing back and forth through? I don't want to deal with the reality. I'll bargain. This is the fake part of me. I'm going to pretend to be a different thing. I'd totally be something different. I could be this, I should, I would be this, or even the elements of all the fantasy stuff that we try to project. It's all bullshit. The anger, oh the fucking anger. Depression, these are the two that one are going to manifest, because denial plus bargaining gives you that suppression system. Suppression leads to expression. In which ways are you going to express? I either go inside and destroy myself, or I go outside and rage, hulk everybody myself, or I go outside and rage hulk everybody. Well, which one are you, jr? You look like a depression one. I'm a fucking anger one. You go inside, I go outside, we fuck everything up either way.

Speaker 1: 55:09

Either way, everything's destroyed, whether you implode or explode that's a good assessment yeah, so that's how we do it, but one at one way or another, the suppression leads to expression. That's going to happen one way or another. So everybody who I've worked with who was diagnosed as bipolar, they just didn't know how to grieve through anger and depression, and so it ends up blowing up every six fucking months and they call them crazy for being too sad or too mad. Well, learn how to grieve so they can take some of the pressure off the cooker and that way you can just open the pot and clean it out when you need to it. So they can take some of the pressure off the cooker and that way you can just open the pot and clean it out when you need to. It's fucking amazing.

Speaker 1: 55:50

Depression, freeze system. When I'm surrender completely, I'm done. Fighting, I'm frozen, I'm done. Depression that's apathy. I want to do nothing. I don't want to move. I can't get out of fucking bed.

Speaker 1: 56:00

Anger it's the attack system. That's fight. I will control you by any means fucking necessary and I will do as much harm against your fucking system as I can, because the best defense is a good offense. You can't fight back if I already destroyed you. Now I have control.

Speaker 1: 56:19

Looks like confidence is total bullshit, though Looks like confidence because he's loud and says what he wants really, really loud. He must know what he wants, right? No, he's just stay away from me because I'm too scared they're going to get too close and see I'm scared. I'm scared of my own fucking feelings. So I need you to stay the fuck away from that shit. So I'll puff my chest and hit things real hard and be mean and angry, but I am a fucking scared, terrified, unloved little boy and as much as I want you guys to be able to love and accept and never leave me, I don't know how to deal with that. And so I'll just push you away. Just push you away. But it's less than a fucking month depression. You don't have to worry about pushing people away. You're isolated already. You're shut. And so I'll just push you away. Just push you away. But it's less than a fucking month Depression. You don't have to worry about pushing people away. You're isolated already. You're shut the fuck down. There's nothing there.

Speaker 1: 57:09

That apathy People don't understand. If you combine doubt plus depression, they don't understand. The definition for doubt is that doubt offers nothing and takes from you everything, not to take the challenge. I've beaten the shit out of it a hundred thousand times, dude, like that's doubt. But if you go ahead and apply doubt to depression because I'm grieving on something I don't know how to deal with you start to manifest and personify through shame that you become doubt Instead of doubt offers nothing and takes from you everything. You become nothing and it takes from you everything. People don't understand apathy. So when you're making depressing videos, you understand apathy. You understand when the only thing that you're doing today is scrolling videos, which makes you feel both shamed and anxious because you know you're supposed to be doing something different.

Speaker 1: 57:55

But I fucking can't get out of fucking bed because I have no energy and I have 400 pounds of shame on my chest. How the fuck am I supposed to get up? So it takes every ounce of energy just to get to the fucking bathroom and people call you a loser, lazy, fucking worthless Boy. Does that stack on top? I know this fucking game. Where do I start?

Speaker 1: 58:21

It's not radical action. I have to get that loss system cleaned out because it doesn't have to stay on. Every single loss you have is a lesson. Every single thing you went through is meant to teach you something, to level you up, not weigh you down and real warriors and real kings understand the fucking difference to things happen to me, to things happen for me, and then when you convert that shit into understanding, true acceptance of things that have happened, now it can work through you. Since I've gone through the shit, I can help you through yours. It's the path of fucking leadership.

Speaker 1: 58:51

But if you stay stuck in loss and stay stuck in denial, you'll never get to the action phase. You can't get to action. I can't get to radical action because I can't get out of the fucking muck. You spend your tires all day long and go. I'm watching jr do these amazing things doing his workouts. How's he so disciplined? How did he do all that shit? I just can't get out of the muck. I'm like, well, let's take some of the weight off your fucking shoulders and then see if you can do it. That's where my opinion is yeah and and. Just one or two words.

Speaker 2: 59:23

Yeah, no, I agree with all of that. Right, that's all stuff we have to dive into. We have to shift that mindset, like, especially, the things happen to me, things happen for me. Right, you have to get to that point because that's how you build your adversity Right, and just like that's how leaders are built. Right, I've been through this. Now I can help you through it. Right, that is how it is done and it is our duty as men to like, guide each other right, we need each other more than ever right now and there is, there is just no. Where do you find it? I didn't have that. I didn't either. I had to build it. You had to build I. I mean, I found it, man, I, I found it, um, in in in sales. You know that that's where I found it. I became, uh, you know, an Amway distributor when I was a young man.

Speaker 1: 1:00:22

Yeah, I, yeah, I worked at uh, they called the team of destiny, it was quickstar, but it was anway. Breakoff is when they did the online stuff. I was in there yeah, yeah 18 years old that was 18. I learned all that shit. They put me in the book clubs and all that stuff. It put me on the path, right you're talking about. So as much as they go like mlms are bullshit. Back then they were hardcore personal development.

Speaker 2: 1:00:44

It still is still like I. You know we had success. We built teams, you know, because it was me and my wife together, right, Like we. We did it everything together and one of the, at that point, the hardest thing we had ever done, and it isolated us from everybody else and that's when we honestly finally became a team. It's where I learned how to lead my relationship. It was where I learned how to lead in general, because I acquired a mentor. I acquired a man who had a great marriage and a successful business and he poured into me. I talked to him. I still talk to him.

Speaker 2: 1:01:25

Neither of us are building that anymore, but he's still a great friend of mine and part of my tribe. You know that I look to for wisdom because he's very successful in a lot of other stuff, now Right. Very successful in in a lot of other stuff, now Right. And yeah, the, the, the MLM thing, like I, I, I sometimes don't don't share that stuff with people because you know it's just a. Most people don't understand what it is. You know most people don't. Unless you've been in it, you really can't understand what it is.

Speaker 1: 1:01:58

I guess that makes sense. Is there what's there I don't want to share with people because what they don't get it Like. What do you mean by that? Like I look at the thing under the thing. Like why wouldn't I share? Fuck them. Like I'll share exactly what it is. If you don't get it, you don't get it. I'm not mad at anybody for that. I don't understand.

Speaker 1: 1:02:17

Lm called it was Legal Shield. At the time I think they changed the name. It used to be Prepaid Legal. That used to be the name of it. It would just help people have legal counsel at a very fucking affordable price. That was the whole thing and, man, it saved my life, saved other people's lives. It was a good service and I ended up hitting like what would be Diamond in Amway was the level that I hit in Legal Shield.

Speaker 1: 1:02:42

I was a top top guy but I had a bunch of stuff that I saw that wasn't right for me in there so I had to leave that. But like that's a different story as far as is. Are those things a negative thing? I think people make anything bad. Like people can turn a good thing bad very quickly, even love. Like we can take a good thing, a good idea and ruin it. So I think MLMs are not a bad thing, but let me just tell you, I see a lot of them these days where they ruin good things, trying to capitalize on something that's authentic and true and turn it into a cookie cutter and cliche. Yeah, you can trademark me on that fucking sentence.

Speaker 2: 1:03:22

Well, yeah, that's it. You know, and, and, and. Normally I I just don't bring it up because I I don't feel like I normally don't have the time to explain like what it even is to people who have never experienced it. You know it's, it's for, for us, it was the best and the worst thing to ever happen to us. At the same time, for us, it was the best and the worst thing to ever happen to us at the same time. You know, we spent five years developing, pushing ourselves.

Speaker 2: 1:03:47

I was out there exchanging numbers three to five people every day. Show the plan. Show the plan. Show the plan. Nine core. Read the books, listen to the audios. Like I was in.

Speaker 2: 1:03:59

I remember someone got into my car. I had just I had just drove for six hours. He got into my car. I had just I had just drove for six hours. He got into my car and I had this like motivational speech playlist and it like popped on and he goes is this what you've been listening to? For the whole drive I was like, yeah, man, I just been getting pumped up, like you know, just doing these things that turn me into a totally different person. You know, radically different person.

Speaker 2: 1:04:22

My input, the input of all the books, all the audios, all the, the meetings, the conversations you know that that I was having with strangers the ability to start a conversation and carry it on and exchange a phone number, you know, right, right then, and there, like multiple times a day, and then, you know, lead people to being a part of your team, and all of that, like it, radically changed everything about me. Now, unfortunately for us, we did not make a lot of money. You know, it was not the way that they taught us to build. It was not profitable at all. Right, it was very profitable for the people teaching, very profitable for them. For us not so much. And for structure, wise and just practices wise, and all of that. And you know it's funny.

Speaker 1: 1:05:21

Here's an irony on this one. Yeah, five years of grinding and doing all this difficult stuff and challenging yourself and learning and packing in all these speeches you got your Zig Ziglar's and all these fucking speeches you're listening to and all these people talking and all this stuff throughout history. And you're going through all this information, all this hard work, all this stuff and you're like ugh, it just wasn't very profitable. I wonder how many people are saying the same thing about college. I went through all those five years and I was grinding and I was working and I was taking in all this information and I was doing all this stuff and I end up in student debt. Well, how much was your tuition then for those five years?

Speaker 2: 1:06:05

My tuition.

Speaker 1: 1:06:06

Yeah, because you just did five years in MLM. That's your college, what's your tuition? All right.

Speaker 2: 1:06:14

So here's the reality. I mean all right. So when we came out of it, our payment was about $100,000 of debt.

Speaker 1: 1:06:22

Yeah, Honestly, that's your Like, that's your tuition, we, we, that was our tuition.

Speaker 2: 1:06:26

That's what we came out of there with Uh, and man, what, like? What an experience that was. To like, come out, you're, you're, you're? You basically been isolated in this world for five years, right, you're basically been isolated in this world for five years, right? Everyone, all of our friends, were isolated in that world. Everyone we talked to on a daily basis was in it. And now we're out and we're also in this terrible financial situation and we're about to have our second child, and my wife lost her job and I oh, I lost my job too now, and it was this that was like the low point for us. You know, we were, we were at the bottom. What?

Speaker 1: 1:07:14

I love about this is whatever happened because you got to touch the bottom has made it. So your success today yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:07:20

That's it. This is where I think people I write about rock bottom. Often I had my own rock bottoms where, like you're rock bottom You're talking about right now, people are like oh, my God, that's so. You lost your jobs and oh, you lost a hundred thousand. Oh no. And you're like, no, you paid tuition and you guys fulfill your fucking destiny. You can do the thing you're meant to do and she can be a great fucking mom and you can go ahead and be a fucking king, like you were designed to be. What would happen if you both kept your jobs? We wouldn't be talking.

Speaker 2: 1:07:52

No, I'm glad you lost your job, me too, me too i'm'm listen, I'm glad everything happened the way it happened. Right, you have to be. That's just how it is Like. If everything didn't happen the way it happened, we wouldn't be here right now. You know, I wouldn't have the life that I wouldn't. If, if, if, if I didn't, if we didn't get into the MLM, we wouldn't be married right now. We wouldn't have children Like I would. I would probably still. I would be living with one of my buddies right now. Continue, Like I would be smoking weed and playing video games right now. Let's party. The weekend is here. I guarantee it.

Speaker 1: 1:08:38

Yeah, you wouldn't be jacked, you'd be jacked up it. Yeah, you wouldn't be jacked, you'd be jacked up you have a different belief system, different lifestyle.

Speaker 1: 1:08:46

You wouldn't have challenged yourself, you wouldn't have had to go through the the fucking fire to get forged, you wouldn't be able to be you man. So that's why I watch people talk about their tragedy stories. I'm like I'm fucking glad you had that. I'm talking about my, my hard times, my low points. I it's not. It's not doesn't happen to you man, it happened for you. You needed that shit. You needed it. You need to get punched in the fucking stomach and then you need to get hit three more times while you're down. Why? Because now your point of view and your perspective is so different. You know why. You can look around you and see blessings and not complain. And not enough people have gotten kicked in the fucking stomach by life. You see people bitch and complain when they're surrounded by blessings. You have to move 2000 diamonds out of the way to point out the coal. You're surrounded by blessings right now. Look how healthy and happy you are. Look how all the good things you have around you. Look all the conveniences. It's never been better to be alive than right now. We're at that. You guys do know. We're at that point that's fucking awesome where we have maximum technology that works for us before it all kills us and like. We're at this point where, like it's all things are convenient, things are all available, everything's possible. We're at that one point. They're gonna look back and go.

Speaker 1: 1:09:57

That was the good times, and people are radically depressed. Right now, you and I are doing something that 30 years ago was something that they did in movies. That didn't make any fucking sense. We're having a video call right now. This is if aliens showed up, maybe we could do this. In the eighties. This was unheard of. This is this is just my fucking 1230 call today. You know like this is. We take it for granted. We're in the good times. We use AI for marketing before it turns into Skynet. We're in the good times right now and yet people are fucking complaining. When has it been better? 100 years ago it wasn't, didn't even have fucking microwaves. When has it been better? 200 years ago, you'd be out there shitting in a shithouse. You wouldn't even have plumbing. When was it better? When the plague was hitting and there's no fucking. You don't even have penicillin, you don't even have fucking soap. When was it better?

Speaker 2: 1:11:00

anyways, I'm, this is me, where I'm.

Speaker 1: 1:11:02

I'm just like dude, hit that rock bottom, fuck yeah. When has it been better to fucking hit it? Cause, look at you fucking building an empire on guys out of hell because you got a chance to like get fired. Good yeah, cause if you wouldn't have got fired you would have. How many lives would be dead. How many guys would be dead right now If for you getting fired Real fucking talk.

Speaker 1: 1:11:25

How many men you have 16,000 men in your fucking organization how many guys wouldn't be here, not even just because of you, but because you helped a guy. You helped a guy, you helped a guy. You helped a guy. How many men would not be around if you didn't get fired? I'm so fucking glad you got fired and I think more people need that perspective of I'm glad you went through that hard shit. I'm glad you went through fucking tragedy, because look at the success you're able to do when you move somebody else's bullshit out of the way. Be here at this time, do this job, do this thing, do that thing. You were forfeiting your purpose for how much time? How much were you making an hour?

Speaker 2: 1:12:00

I don't know I was. I was, uh, mainly yeah, how much was it 20 well, I was 15, I was, I was commissioned, commission. How much you know, so so at that time, uh like 110, 115 000 right it's fucking.

Speaker 1: 1:12:18

That's one percent money yeah right, it was good, it was good, it was great, good money like, would you go back to making uh that, that money with them to sacrifice all the lives that you saved? No, no chance I'm glad you got fired. Yeah, people don't say that shit, what a tragedy. You feel so bad you lost. I'm glad you lost your fucking job. You saved so many fucking lives, dude.

Speaker 2: 1:12:46

I think a lot of people. They bring up their trauma right All the time as the reason why right, this is the reason why I haven't accomplished this, or why I can't be that person for him, why why, why?

Speaker 1: 1:13:04

why? I can't. But you see, that's your grief system. You took something that happened, went through your feelings, into your beliefs, and your beliefs became your identity. I'll show you the fucking map on what you're doing right now, like the people who go. This happened to me. I'll show you. This is a step-by-step. So you said you want to see the fucking diagrams. I got you. I got all you people right now.

Speaker 1: 1:13:23

This happened to me. I lost my job. I was in an abusive relationship. I was treated bad. I was abandoned. I was hurt.

Speaker 1: 1:13:32

This goes into your feelings, makes me feel bad, which makes me believe that I am what happened to me. And this goes into your patterns, beliefs, your philosophies, your beliefs, your purpose, all your factors, everything that's you starts getting run through and it comes from that thing that happened to you. This creates victim mentality. I have seen people who go on first dates and go. I was abused. I am an abused person. I was abused.

Speaker 1: 1:14:00

You got in one fight. You picked and lost. I know you. You weren't like. You picked and lost. I know you. You weren't like oh, can I get you something to eat and rub your feet. You were like fuck you, you fucking coward, you're a bitch and they punched you in the head Like I know you. You didn't do that. That didn't happen to you. You picked a fight, you lost. I can't go up to a UFC fighter smack him in mad at everybody because he kicked my ass. Like I picked a fight, I lost.

Speaker 1: 1:14:28

So I watch people all the time Like look at all the things that happened to me, it happened to me, it happened to me and I'm like no, your belief system is literally just corrupted and your identity is around a moment that happened many years ago, that you were highly accountable for even being there and for it happening. You made choices to be in that moment and there's something you needed to learn, but you didn't learn from it. You became that moment. I was abused, I was abandoned, I was hurt, I was molested, I was. Whatever has become your identity now and I have seen people who have gone the other way, where I have seen people who were molested as children, abused, abandoned, have done terrible things, had terrible things done to them, and they turn into the people who help people. That happen too, because they can now relate to that too. This story is whatever we make it man relate to that too.

Speaker 2: 1:15:25

This story is, whatever we make it, man, it's the story. That's right, that's what we we would always, my wife and I, whenever, like in that moment, and anytime we came to a hard one, we would always be able to look at each other and just say this is now part of our story, you know, and it's a story of overcoming that we will speak on stages about one day. Right, that was always the mentality and and you know we got that from the people who we watch go through their trials and tribulations and we would see them. They would say it all the time Like you know, this isn't, this isn't what's going to stop us. This is just part of our story. You need that.

Speaker 2: 1:16:04

But there's so much comfort, there's so much even popularity in being a victim. There's so many benefits in today's world from being a victim. I remember growing up wishing I could be a victim, as sick as that is. I remember growing up wishing I could be a victim, as sick as that is Like. I remember wishing like oh man, I wish I was in a wheelchair, like that kid. He's getting all the attention Everyone loves him, he gets special treatment. I wish remember when my cousin got cancer. I was like, oh, he got to meet Jim Trestle and do all these things. Everyone's there for him. Like I, I remember wanting to be a victim so that I could get the love and attention that they were getting right. It's, it's dark to desire something like that, but, um, it happens it.

Speaker 1: 1:17:04

It shows too and this is where people would judge you like, wow, what a fucking sick fuck I'm. Like what a dude who's starved from feeling loved. Like I wonder, if I break my legs, if people will love me too. Right, you know, this is where I think people don't see men, man, I don't think people see men today, and it's not a race thing, it's all men, just all men, black, white, all of them, every guy. People don't see men today. We're just, we're deleted today. And and we, we do it to ourselves like we also go like, yeah, we'll just shut up then. Like we do it too, like we're not innocent fucking victims. No, we go like well, I guess I'll just shut up then. No, men are unifying. They're teaming up with people like us to go like maybe I don't have to shut myself up, maybe I can say I don't agree, maybe I can do that. But no, these victim mentalities is taught that guys are supposed to be weak. No, we don't. We don't have to do that. I wish I was in a wheelchair so I can get love. You just want to be loved, man. You just want people to love you. What does that mean? You got a fucking good heart in there. There's a heart in there. I think people forget that they see. They see strong men and they go like he should be and then insert judgment or opinion, whatever you pick your fucking poison. That's a human being man.

Speaker 1: 1:18:23

The most empathy I see men receiving these days are from men Like I'm just going to stick a period on that. All you ladies who think you're empathy, fucking champions I have. I've done surveys and it was a hundred percent. You, ladies, aren't doing what you think you're doing. You're not, you know, and we're seeing a society where men are censoring themselves to become weak and pathetic, and they're doing the thing. And you're pointing out where guys are becoming weaker. Because then maybe, maybe I'll get the attention and love that women get for being weak. Maybe if I don't work out, maybe if I dress more feminine, maybe if I act more flamboyant you don't have to be gay, maybe if I act more flamboyant, you don't have to be gay just if I just become a weaker version of myself, then maybe, maybe I can be loved like they are, maybe they'll hold the door open for me too. Maybe they'll see me, maybe I can be heard again. How often you see your strong men, shut the fuck down by society all judge blame, shame.

Speaker 1: 1:19:23

Those are the tools. That's why I trained my men to block that shit. Make the noise. They can't beat you physically. So you have to become weak to judgment, weak to shame, weak to being exiled. But you need the communities again. Alone it's tragedy, the lone wolves. It's a tragedy, but the pack laughs. I'll show you. You, give me some mean comment somebody says about you. You bring it to me. I bet you. I'll be like oh, what happened to thing? We're fucking cracking up, man, we'll be laughing our asses off.

Speaker 2: 1:20:06

You know my favorite thing to do? To do it's not my favorite thing, but something I get a lot of enjoyment out of um because on it most like I mainly focus with social media, on instagram right now, and tiktok used to have this feature. Maybe they just took it away from me, I don't know, who knows. It's very strange, strange space, uh, but I love to find the first super negative comment and just pin it right to the top of the comments why it is. What do you do? Because I get to watch the, the, my tribe, attack them why in a way, and defend like what we're about I'm just gonna ask you brother to brother.

Speaker 1: 1:20:54

Why do you need that?

Speaker 2: 1:20:55

I do that for honestly, like two reasons. Number one I feel like it helps the performance of my videos and number two, like that's number one.

Speaker 2: 1:21:08

That was like a strategy in the beginning, but then, as I did that, I was like oh wow, there's 150 replies to this comment and it's like I rarely like go in and I'll never read them all, cause who has the time to read comments? But it's. I know that there is like just this ridiculous battle going on in there of people who will, who will never listen to each other.

Speaker 1: 1:21:37

True, you're very true. Um, I I was curious yeah, why would you? Why do you do that? I, um, I do the opposite thing. I do the opposite thing completely. I only feed the healthy ones. I ignore the negative comments and I give massive praise and admiration and kudos to people who are kind and good and supportive and I support those who support. I don't feed the. I don't feed the toxic ones. I don't feed the dark wolves. I feed the who support. I don't feed the toxic ones. I don't feed the dark wolves, I feed the light wolves.

Speaker 2: 1:22:06

Yeah, it may be a toxic trait of mine, honestly, but it's something that I did and then it happened. I was like, oh wow, this is kind of wild.

Speaker 1: 1:22:16

It's a very intelligent marketing setup. It's not dumb. But I'm just wondering why do you feed the dark wolves? You're like, well, I do get more views and more interaction. You're not wrong, people will lead towards negativity, which is the sad truth of people, that we'll go towards gossip and negativity and arguments and shame and those things far more than positivity and growth and connection and good things. It's funny because we crave the good stuff but we're attracted to the bad stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was just I mean, I get, I got no judgment. I was just curious why you did it. I was like why did you do that? I wouldn't even waste my fucking time.

Speaker 1: 1:22:53

And I don't want my, I don't want my guys attacking anybody, because we're fucking savages, but my men are protectors and I don't need anybody to protect me.

Speaker 2: 1:23:07

They can't hurt me with that. Yeah, no, yeah, no, no, no comments, can ever I. I honestly like I for my own mental health. I don't get into the comments ever, because whether they're good or bad, I don't think it's good for me, you know. Either way, occasionally I do like to go into other people's comments, like other creators' comments. I will get some enjoyment from time to time there.

Speaker 1: 1:23:28

That is like a guilty pleasure of mine. There's a naughty in you, JR. There's something in you that likes that.

Speaker 2: 1:23:33

That's part of life.

Speaker 1: 1:23:34

Well, it also is where you're getting, because I'm just going to be very open. I don't even run my social media. I'm not even logged into half of them. You're talking about Randy run my social media? I don't. I'm not. I'm not even logged into half of them. It really talking with randy, my integrator.

Speaker 2: 1:23:49

She, yeah that's all of it.

Speaker 1: 1:23:50

Like I'm not even involved, that's awesome but I there's nothing about that that I find good. I find social media highly draining to me and, um, I don't find any any gratification from there. The truth is, I use social media as the filter to pull good men out. It's just I make the content like this so that good men know that they can reach out and find community, like mine or yours, and I spend all my time in helping men become better for themselves, work through grief, grief, work through authenticity. Find confidence, be good, stay off the fucking edge, you know. Find purpose, find hope, find that you heal your fucking heart, bro, like there's got to be a place you can take the armor off and build yourself up. I'm spending all my time there. I don't give a fuck how many likes or views. Uh, randy, today I was talking. She's like you know you're viral on on right now. I'm like are we? I didn't know. That's fine For me. It's not. I'm better than in any way. It's just not my interest, it's not my connection. I don't have anything to that. I find it exhausting.

Speaker 1: 1:24:59

Now, what's more worrisome is, if you follow John Hite's work and other psychologists is watching the effects of social media on females. A lot of your content that you're showing is like women on dating sites who are married and women who are doing very narcissistic women, cold calculated showing just so they can isolate and take everything from a man getting married just to divorce him and take half Like. There's really interesting behavior happening where, if you give women power, they aren't being just and kind, they're being hoarding and selfish. There's some things now the biggest advocates for men right now are women because they're watching what the world is, that if you've given women maximum power, they're not doing what they said they would do when they were protesting, which is compassion, empathy, nurture, love, kindness. No, they're doing what weak people with power do, which is a hoard. It take it and abuse it. And right now, the biggest advocates are women.

Speaker 1: 1:26:08

Going bitches, stop it. You are going to put us on the fucking front line and wars, have to do all the fucking heavy manual labor and triple our fucking work and our sons won't have a fucking place to live. Shut the fuck up. So I'm just putting that out there. What are you seeing? You're watching social media. It's like this is our avenue where we're interacting with people. But what's happening out there? You're, you're on the lines, dude, you. You got the thing where you're going through these videos. What are you seeing, bro? What are you seeing?

Speaker 2: 1:26:35

I mean, it's crazy out there and you know it's even more crazy about it. It is so difficult to to sift through. Is this a genuinely real video or is this all scripted? Is this just something people put out there for? Because half of it, maybe even more, is just people doing skits, like to make it look as real as possible and just get as many views as possible, because that's how they're making money, you know, and and that's like, there's so many, it's, it's so hard to decipher and I don't know.

Speaker 2: 1:27:09

Like, for me, it's it's all so strange to me because before I started my first social media account, before I started my first TikTok page, I hadn't had social media since I was in high school, like, I deleted it all, like I I became dormant on on anything and stopped looking at it because I, I saw it as, uh, I had this moment after I had done some, some mushrooms or something at some point as a young man and I, like, had this realization of, like, the only purpose of that was to feed my ego. That's it. That's the only reason I use it. That's the only reason I'm just looking for, for likes and validation, you know. So I got off of it um, and when I came, back by the way, way to go.

Speaker 1: 1:27:59

So I've been for helping jr on that one, that's right yeah, so I'm gonna wake your asses up. I'll tell you what. I'll take you inside and show you what you need. If you take too much of it, it will. Yes. Well, you take the correct amount.

Speaker 2: 1:28:11

It will the correct because it showed you you well done yeah, it was an important moment of of my life a lot of realizations coming out of that, honestly, as a young guy. But yeah, I mean, the landscape out there is wild because people are just getting paid to get views. However you can get views, whatever gets views. It's not about is this right? Is this correct? Is this true? It's about how can we get as many views as we possibly can. So we can, you know, either use it as a sales funnel to get as many sales as we possibly can, or just get paid off of the views.

Speaker 1: 1:28:56

So what does that give people? If you're thinking about how many likes, how many subscribes, how many views, what are people getting?

Speaker 2: 1:29:05

You know their attention, their attention. You get attention and validation.

Speaker 1: 1:29:08

Yeah, false sense every time. How many dopamine hits are they getting and it becomes a problem. Remember, I showed you that thing denial. How many of them are dealing in authenticity and truth?

Speaker 2: 1:29:21

none right, we're very well.

Speaker 1: 1:29:23

I mean that circle, the skits and the bullshit very few. Yeah, it's all made up because I'm just creating a show for you. So what? I can use something that maybe somebody else went through so I can profit in my own attention. I can get likes, views, subscribes, more people see me. I become a star by my own hand. What does that do?

Speaker 1: 1:29:43

Remember, denial of reality plus distraction equals addiction. And you're addicted now to social media and you can watch these people. They'll be like this. It'll be at fucking dinner. You're right in front of me, dude, like, yeah, I got a fucking. There's a fucking thing in my comments right now. I gotta, oh, my god, this video.

Speaker 1: 1:30:03

And you're like, dude, where are you? You're not in life anymore and denial and distractions takes the most fucking important thing that you'll ever have away from you, takes your minutes, takes the minutes away from you. How many minutes do you have? I think if we really knew how many minutes we have left, we'd be fucking shocked how we throw them around. You don't have endless minutes. We don't fucking know. You know, we don't know. Either of you can. We can get fucked up this week and this would be like one of the last shows we ever did. We don't know, or we got fucking 40 or 50 more years, I don't fucking know. It's not endless, though I don't. I don't know how many minutes I got. I have no idea. So how many do I just throw around? I'm trying to get virtual likes, which somebody controls the algorithms too. Yeah, you ever have you been canceled or shut down for anything? Yet?

Speaker 2: 1:31:05

yeah, I've lost accounts.

Speaker 1: 1:31:06

Yeah, me too.

Speaker 1: 1:31:07

Welcome to the fucking show it's just part of the game somebody dictates what you're allowed to say and do because they don't like it. The enemy is truth, bro. It's just that's the game right now. It's frustrating, that's right. So people will do lies and make believe. And just the addiction on this one. Social media gets into attention and look at our young girls. They want to be liked and approved. And what's the comparison? Let's go ahead and throw that curse out there. How many people are doing comparisons? You're not as pretty as her. You're not as smart as him. You're not as successful as that guy. You're not as buff as him.

Speaker 2: 1:31:49

You're him, you're not as successful as that guy. You're not as buff as him. You're not as thin as her. You're not as thick as her. Whatever you're into the comparisons, let's go ahead and get into that.

Speaker 1: 1:31:54

Yeah, that's a trap. It's for all of us. Man, listen, where you influence more by that. Positive mentors people don't have, or this, who's your God? There's so many people who are in worship all day. They're in worship. Look at, look at Worshiping all day. I don't even manage my accounts. I love that. Can't even touch it, I love it.

Speaker 2: 1:32:24

That's awesome.

Speaker 1: 1:32:25

I don't worship that, though, but I watch people and how many billions I love that conversation. You know what's cool about podcasts is you're an interesting dude. I feel like I'm a mildly interesting dude, and this is a conversation people love to sit in on and hang out with us. Like there's somebody right now. If you're listening to this, you're the third seat in here. You're in the seat with us, you're hanging out with JR and me right now, and they can sit in on this conversation and go like, damn, this is a fucking good conversation. I wish I was there for that. You are here for that If you've made it this far in. We're an hour and a half in. You've been hanging out with us the whole time.

Speaker 1: 1:33:13

You're one of us, and I think it's kind of cool because you can turn this thing that's a weapon into a tool very quickly. You can turn this into a weapon for good or evil and evil, and while some people are using it to cheat on their spouse, other people are using it as their university, to grow, their community, to connect. They're using it for what it's intended for, but it's turned into a weapon. Man, but this weapon affects our ladies 10x over men they're doing studies on. They've been doing it since 2006. Dude we what happens? I've got three teenage daughters. You think this thing doesn't affect them more than me.

Speaker 2: 1:33:47

Oh, man, Talk to me about this, because I too have three daughters. Yeah, I've got three girls, man. So how old are your girls?

Speaker 1: 1:33:55

Your girls are older than mine 17, 16, 14. All teenage girls Totally well-balanced, no hormone issues.

Speaker 2: 1:34:05

We're on the same path. I've got a four, a five and a two-year-old right now.

Speaker 1: 1:34:09

Oh yeah, you're in the fun phase. This is nonsense, but it's fun. You get to play around. It's still lego bill right now. Wait till the fucking shitty boys. And which college? And all the nonsense that goes into it. I'm in the. I'm in a wild zone right now. I'm in the wild zone right now. I know when period week is. I know I am aware. Why is everyone being a fucking asshole right now? I got it. Nothing happened. Everyone's blessed in here. Why are we mad at each other for nothing?

Speaker 2: 1:34:37

There's no reasoning.

Speaker 1: 1:34:38

Yeah, the amount of Listen. Let me just tell you I'm the only guy in this house. Let me just tell you how wild it is to be the sane one who's called crazy. Just because I'm the only one not responding irrationally, they call me the crazy one. It's fucking insane here. I love my girls. I'm very, very, very blessed, but yeah, it's wild here being a girl dad. Shout out to all the dads who are girl dads it's you girls think it's fucking easy. It's. I hope you guys all have many girls.

Speaker 1: 1:35:13

It's a wild game out here and trying to protect them, trying to protect them from this, is impossible. Yeah, just you can quote me on this, protecting them from this. I look at this right now because I watch what this thing does and I guarantee you, I guarantee you 20, 30 years from now, when they look back at our generation and they go how the fuck did you let a 12 year old have one of fucking these? You fucking lunatic. I should be thrown in prison for giving a 12 year old one of these things, because look how that destroyed them. I wouldn't be surprised if, like, the future version of us is like you gave a fucking, unlimited, fucking access to everything, fucking device to children. Are you out of your fucking mind? Did you give them a loaded gun too? That would have been safer you idiot they're.

Speaker 2: 1:36:00

They're gonna look at it. So you think they're gonna look at it how we look at what you used to smoke on airplanes. What are you guys crazy? Yeah, like what are you children? Where do you just giving them packs of cigarettes?

Speaker 1: 1:36:12

this is healthy for you how many fucking kids do you see? When you're just walking by somebody, you just see the kids just sitting there like this yeah I watch kids at fucking dinner tables with 20 fucking people just sitting there like on their fucking tablets. What is that training?

Speaker 2: 1:36:32

it's preparing them for a phone.

Speaker 1: 1:36:34

Let's prepare them to be completely disconnected from every human being on earth. It's preparing them to be anti-social. It's preparing them to be completely dependent on this fucking device. You think the people who are running this don't know that? I think they fucking absolutely know that. They're like oh my God, the opportunity. The fucking cigarette companies drooling at the ability to fucking program children. Oh, now we can do it on a mass scale. What are we going to do? Make them drink Mountain Dew or Pepsi Smoke, this smoke that Addicted to this, addicted to that. I can make them do anything. They're fucking dumb. All I got to do is add a dance routine to it and they'll do anything I want.

Speaker 1: 1:37:16

You think OnlyFans isn't a real fucking problem? Our girls is going to be a fucking issue. We're beautiful girls. I got one going off to college. You think the appeal to make over 100 grand by just showing body parts isn't going to be there here? I fucking tell you they have all the equipment. I don't mean physically, I mean you just need a phone, get a ring light for fucking $8. Now they're stars. It's not a fucking thing. Wait till they hang out with girls in their college. Who's making that kind of money? I just paid off all my tuition.

Speaker 1: 1:37:53

Our daughter who's going there right now. She's got a 4.5 GPA. She's fucking smart. She's very good at this shit. She also figured out how to get all the scholarships her college has paid for already. Clever girl. We taught her well. We trained her. She's ready for the world Good job. What's going to happen out there when the career that she chooses doesn't pay? You like pays $40,000?, $60,000? And she sees some girl who can barely read good, making $200,000. That's some fucking appeal, dude. There's a fucking thing there. The injustice there's a. There's a real problems we're watching. Watch jonathan height stuff. He goes into what's going on.

Speaker 1: 1:38:34

Not only just those appeals, but look at the uh, the detriment that's happening to self-harm, self-mutilation, yeah, plastic surgery, all the things that are going on. I watched a Will Smith video talking about how so many people are using this device and other people's opinions to gauge their worth and it's like looking into a broken mirror. When you look into this broken mirror, you know how it's all distorted because it's all cracked and everything right. And they look in this broken mirror and they go I don't look good. So they go and get plastic surgery and rearrange their face so they can look good in this broken mirror and they completely picasso the shit out of themselves so they can look in this busted mirror and go. Finally, I look beautiful in this mirror.

Speaker 1: 1:39:19

Self-worth is self-worth, and yet these things are teaching women that to be long, to be loved, to be good enough, is based on algorithms likes, attention, subscribes, followers, hearts. It's like getting plastic surgery to look good in a broken mirror. Man and our girls have to go into that and I'm hoping that you can train your girls because it's a good possibility. Your daughters are young enough to grow up to go. Oh, the history has shown that is dumb. I'm praying that that's where it goes. But in my generation, um, we're in the first parents that ever had this technology because it didn't exist. When I was a kid, a touch screen didn't exist. When I was a kid, a touch screen didn't exist. When we were kids, you said you're are you in late thirties? Is that? How old are you?

Speaker 2: 1:40:07

Yeah, 33.

Speaker 1: 1:40:08

Oh, you're early thirties. I'm 10 years ahead of you on this one. Like, so like. We didn't even have touch. I didn't have a touch screen until I was in my mid twenties. Yeah, didn't exist. We had flip phones, man yeah so like we didn't have it, so you you probably had it way before me at 10 years old you get a touch screen well, for me it was like 2008 when the iphone came out, and that was right.

Speaker 2: 1:40:33

When I was graduating high school. I remember my the first kid at my school that had one that's touchscreen, the whole thing, and then it just kept progressing. That's also when Facebook started right. I went through that shift of we had MySpace in high school to Facebook right To Instagram. I've watched that all progress and watch people get sucked in and consumed by it.

Speaker 1: 1:41:04

That makes sense, dude, was it really 2008 when the iPhone came out? Mm-hmm, damn, yeah, I graduated double O, dude. And so, like I was already eight years out of school, I was out of college already. Like to say, damn, that's when iPhones came out. Yeah, I was already mid-20s before that was even an option, you know. So you were right in there on the front lines. I was a teenage kid most impressionable and even still, the options for internet were very limited still yeah, yeah, yeah, pretty like you could.

Speaker 2: 1:41:37

Um, I, I'm thankful I didn't like my parents were like, no, like that, like that, for it was extremely expensive to to get one of those and like pay, you know, whatever it is that we consider normal now for a cell phone payment. Right, it was ridiculous back then Like no way, you're not getting one of those. Um, so I had like a flip phone until I got my first job and they're like, hey, you need one of these, you need a smartphone so we can do all this stuff. Yeah, yeah, so I mean, but, but, a bunch of my friends, it was really like what I saw when I was in, when I was a teenager, when I was in college, was I saw people getting addicted to social media, to Facebook. At the time, you know, everyone was posting their statuses throughout the day and, you know, liking it, and we also had these different apps on there. Where it was the original was the first dating apps began like you could use the apps in Facebook to meet girls in your area on like, through, through that and was, honestly, that was where I met my first girlfriend. So it was like I, I got to experience that.

Speaker 2: 1:42:51

That, all all those stages, I luckily found my, my wife, while I was in college and didn't have to go through the invention of Tinder and and all these other fun things people have access to. But I watched all my friends, you know, you know they, they, they were just on this app, just going through girl after girl and and um, using it very irresponsibly as a young man would, uh, and I don't know, it's, it's, I don't know what the advice is for young guys at this point, like to have a successful dating experience, because I, it's, it's totally different. You know, I can tell them my experience, but it's totally different out there. But I will say, like I don't know that those apps are are the answer?

Speaker 1: 1:43:43

Like, I don't think they, those apps are are the answer, like I don't think they are no, they're not, and and we've even for my men, when they're looking to get back in the game, raise your level. Hypergamy is a real fucking thing. Work on you and you'll find somebody who's also working on them. Where you find them, it's not going to be on tender. I'll tell you that shit. No, the good girls aren't on those apps either. Just Just so you guys know. Rick fucking said it. Yeah, the good girls and the good guys are not out there. If you catch one in there who was just like, I'll just try it out, cause all of my you know asshole buddies are slutty friends. Do it, so let me do it. Like the good ones aren't on there. That's turned into a cesspool. That's just the bottom feeders who are all just mowing through, people who are trying to find validation and worth by fucking. Like it's the most basic version of human. Like it's it's the most rudimentary, simple part of us, which is the monkey brain that wants to fuck. Like that's your identity is around those things. You're just going to find the ones who use. You're going to find the ones who never matured into givers, men and women. You're not going to find those. You're going to find boys and girls. That's what's on there. And if you get lucky to find one and you're like you're the first date I've ever been on. This thing's weird Like then good on you, but it's super rare these days.

Speaker 1: 1:45:08

Find yourself, do stuff you like to do, join a fucking hiking group or join a bike cycling group, or join a fucking painting group, or get out a fucking random bowling league and just meet people and you'll meet jr, whose wife is friends with you know. Anna, whose sister is you know daniel, and you're like hey, you know we got to meet at the party when I was hanging out with Jr who's on my bowling team, which I just joined on from I don't know. Meet people you know on bowlerscom or something I don't fucking know. Just do stuff you like to do. Find you and just go do shit. Do things. Find you in the traditional ways are coming back.

Speaker 1: 1:45:41

It's not on dating sites, cause Danielle is not going to be on a fuck people site. You know she's going to be on some sort of like. I don't want to mess with the bullshit site. I don't want to mess with anybody say I'm not on any sites. I don't want to be any of that stuff. I gotta work on me and she's working on her stuff and she's trying to find authenticity and she's working on her accountability and she's working on her empathy and she's working on her. And you'll be like I'm working on me too. I'm not on the bullshit sites. Find you and I tell my guys level you up and you'll find a girl who's at your level. But I find a bunch of people who are stuck bottom feeding, looking for bottom feeders, wondering why they keep finding bottom feeders. Because you're a fucking bottom feeder and work on your shit you attract what you are you're dating people at level, no wonder.

Speaker 1: 1:46:23

If you keep dating scumbags, guess what level you are? Yeah, no fucking. If you keep dating scumbags, men or women. If you're dating scummy people, that's your level. Yeah well, I need to be a high value person. I need more money, more power, more fame. No, it's not high value person. It's not six foot, six figure, six pack. It's high values. A person of high values person who has integrity, honor, loyalty, truth, devotion, hard working. You know, they're dedicated, they're honest. They're honest, they're in their thing to have more values, growth, community compassion. They're good values. Be a person of high values. That makes you a high value person, not your six pack, even though it's nice having that right, of course it is. It's nice having it, but that's not. Not. If you want to measure me off of my six-pack and not this, you got the wrong value. You're going to measure it off of my fucking abs and not this.

Speaker 2: 1:47:32

You got the wrong value yeah, some, some of the weakest people you can find out there are the physically stronger than most that's because they have to overcompensate it, of course, yes I call it one side of the Rubik's cube.

Speaker 1: 1:47:45

That's what I call it.

Speaker 2: 1:47:47

Yeah, yeah and listen. That's a great place to start, but that's, that's just one piece of the journey and it's a great piece. It's a great piece. You're going to learn a lot from it. You are going to grow from it. You're going to build your adversity and and push yourself and everything. But you have to do that everywhere. You know that doesn't just just because you're ripped doesn't mean you're going to have a great wife now, or or whatever. Right.

Speaker 1: 1:48:15

Maybe I'm more ripped, though. Maybe if I get even more ripped than normal ripped, maybe if I'm tore, yeah. I'm past ripped I'm, I'm torn.

Speaker 2: 1:48:23

Yeah, you know what half. You know what if you get, if you get torn half, you will be able to hop on that tinder app and you're gonna find some ladies. Okay, but that's about as, that's about as best as you're gonna do like, and I, I, I struggle with, um, the idea a lot of people toss around the idea of, like men need to get married later in life. You know when they're plugged in.

Speaker 1: 1:48:51

Please tell me about what's going on with that. I haven't heard that well, why have? You to do all right.

Speaker 2: 1:48:55

So so a lot of people, people who are influencing men will tell them hey, listen, don't get married when you're young, don't get married. You need to get married when you become a high-value man, right After you've become financially successful. You've built yourself up into this thing and part of me is like all right, I can see where you're coming from, but this other part of me, is when are they coming?

Speaker 1: 1:49:30

Help me out with that, because I'm trying to plug into this belief system, so I have to understand it first. All right, so wait till you're later get established, get your shit together and do all these great things before you get married. Now you say I can see where they're coming from.

Speaker 2: 1:49:48

Where do you see they're coming from? Like what do you? Well, I see where they're coming from because you'll be in a place in life where I like. Theoretically, you'll make a better decision okay.

Speaker 1: 1:49:54

So it's to make better decisions, get your shit together and all these categories and then start dating or looking for the one exactly wow, so when what if it takes me till I'm 35, then I start dating, right? Well, what do I bring to the table? What an awkward fucking dater I'm going to be.

Speaker 2: 1:50:11

No, no, no. You're. You're dating and having sex with women the whole time, but you're not. You're not getting married.

Speaker 1: 1:50:17

Okay, let me, I got, remember, I got to catch up on this belief system. Yeah, so while I'm working on value and status and getting my shit together, I'm out just plowing through tons of women. There you go, and then I'm a high value man later because I've had sex with tons of girls and now I have money or power or fame or whatever it is I've been working on until I'm in my 30s. So getting married in 30s and 40s by just plowing through girls, and that makes me a valuable man. Exactly that's the belief I just want to make sure I have it correct.

Speaker 2: 1:50:50

You've nailed it Like as far as like like a dating goes, like you should be having sex with as many women as you can, right, and you know when you get to that point where you've established yourself. Now you have the experience, you've experienced so many women, you know what you're looking for and you have established yourself, financially and whatever else, to make the proper decision for a wife.

Speaker 1: 1:51:19

All right, got it All right. So what do you hear there?

Speaker 2: 1:51:23

For me. I didn't do that For me. I didn't do that. I mean I, I didn't do that Then you're.

Speaker 1: 1:51:28

You're totally wrong. You did it all wrong. Maybe you should divorce your wife, fuck a bunch of people, get famous and get useful and then remarry her after you did what they said Right.

Speaker 2: 1:51:37

Right, that's what they would maybe recommend. But, like, but like that's what I'm like, I listen, I I get. Maybe you know being listen. I am all about like you need to uh not rush into uh a marriage without understanding, like why you're getting married to someone you know, and, and and. Because we all see the pitfalls that I've, you know I've made tons of videos of men you know losing everything in a divorce. It happens all the time, happens so common.

Speaker 1: 1:52:10

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 1:52:10

It's so common.

Speaker 1: 1:52:11

It's a big reason why men aren't getting married and, like women don't realize, they're destroying marriages. Yes, they want love, but they're just destroyed. They're using a system that's meant to protect them to do maximum harm and thinking that there's no consequences for that.

Speaker 2: 1:52:27

No, your daughters won't be able to get married. They're not thinking of anyone else but themselves, correct? So?

Speaker 1: 1:52:31

there's a problem in here, all right so, but also this thing with the guys that go fuck everybody's daughters, go fuck every girl there is. There's a flaw in the system too. Yes, I don't see. I don't see that as beneficial. I don't see that as awesome or badass or what a cool fucking guy. I wouldn't put him as one of your kings. It's not one of my warriors. Don't go fuck everybody. Fucking everybody is a fucking asshole like. Don't, don't do that. What's your job? I fuck people like that. You're not cool, dude. You're not cool men. Don't look at you going one of us, man, you're not one of us. It's what boys do. Boys are takers, men are givers. Yes, real fucking alphas are looking at you like what a fucking joke, dude. I'll tell you right now I'm gonna go hard side on this one fucking love.

Speaker 1: 1:53:13

When you love man, people think that fucking, you force love. Alan watts talks about this shit and I fucking resonate with this stuff. Most people, most men, are afraid of their fucking feelings, and so we, we, we close off heart side. We think it's weak side because volatile, or it's all over the fucking place. I am so fucking in love with my woman. I am so fucking in love with her and it's took it. We we've went through fucking ups, downs, hells almost split, worked it out. We have gone through all the fucking trials and I'm so in fucking love with her.

Speaker 1: 1:53:45

That to say that's weak side. You're out of your fucking mind, man. You're out of your fucking mind. If you're going to tell me that's what it is, I fucking in here, fucking rip your chest open. Love that fucking woman and you love your woman. You keep fucking talking about her. You, you love your fucking woman. You fucking love her.

Speaker 1: 1:54:01

You're going to say go fuck a bunch of people and skip that. No, if you met her at 19, you met her at fucking 19. If you met her at 23, you met her at 23. You met her at fucking 27. Now, fucking work for it, but you fucking when you get it, you don't listen to this shitty advice and deny your heart. Go get 12 STDs, make a bunch of money and then make a decision. What the fuck dude? Listen, here's what I hear.

Speaker 1: 1:54:28

When I hear that I hear wounded guys giving bad advice, I may have made some enemies right there. I hear wounded men giving bad advice. If you've never been deeply in fucking love with someone before. What dumb advice are you giving right now? Because hard side is saying no, you fucking don't.

Speaker 1: 1:54:47

You should be balanced mind, heart, body, spirit. You should be balanced out. And if you are closing off one side to lean into success, finances, money, power, muscles and you skip heart spirit, you skip connection, you skip like the reason that we fucking exist is not for fucking this, it's not for my fucking dick, it's not, that's not what we're here for. But I fucking like the connection that I have with my girl and the connection I have with my men. Like you, I can.

Speaker 1: 1:55:18

I can feel people through this fucking screen, dude. I can feel you right now like there's a thing that we have inside of us that's not our fucking muscles, it's not our organs. There's a thing that's inside of us that people just fucking get, that you think it's gonna be mow through a bunch of girls. Well, what value do they have? Because you talk about girls who are supposed to be like low body count and these guys who are supposed to be mowing through raising body counts and they're the fucking good ones. Who's the fool right here? Nobody, like I, want to grow a low body count. Well, why are you trying to be the fuck everybody guy, then aren't you part of the problem? You're just making a bunch of girls unmarketable because you like to fuck everybody it's hypocrisy what are we?

Speaker 2: 1:56:02

doing yeah, there's no, nobody wins in this game.

Speaker 1: 1:56:07

You know it's I don't see value and I don't see high value man, I see, I see people who don't know what they're fucking doing yeah giving bad advice because they have maybe charisma or a loud platform or they can flash things around to seem valuable.

Speaker 1: 1:56:21

Alphas, don't look at this behavior like it's fucking valuable. You know, and these guys no, you're fucking not like. Listen, alphas, lead people. You have an organization of people that will follow you because you lead by example by doing things that they believe are right. It's I vetted you out and it is correct. You lead with your heart. You lead with your soul. You have a direction that I believe in. You're doing something that matters in this fucking world, like I'm glad you got fired because you are now pulling purpose into your existence and you are doing something that they will talk about later on, even after we're dead. They'll say JR helped many people. That was a good fucking man.

Speaker 1: 1:57:02

You are followed because you are called to do something that puts your life in a fucking fishbowl. People will look at you and judge and ridicule and criticize, and that's what leadership is. You are held to an accountability that sucks fucking ass. It's not glorious. It's not glorious. People think that, being a fucking leader, I'm a leader in my organization. Let me tell you I've been held over the fucking fire why people think that being a fucking leader. I'm a leader in my organization. Let me tell you I've been held over the fucking fire. Why? Because I'm called to do something people don't want to do and they will shame and blame and judge and tear you down and blame and they'll tear your wife down and they'll attack your children and they'll be shitty as fuck. Why? Because that's what leadership fucking is. I don't care if you're a president in a company, if you're a pastor at a church. If you're the leader of a community, you are in a fucking fishbowl. This is calling, this isn't fucking name tag. And so this is where I see guys like you are fucking highest fucking honor because you have to take the burden on for 16,000 fucking people and their families, because you believe in something more and they believe in you see just warriors out here. Man, my dude.

Speaker 1: 1:58:15

So I just it's just tough to watch people walk around and feeling head down. I'm worried about being disapproved of not good enough, not belonging, not being liked. It's like you're in the middle of the thing, that you have a choice to make right now. That changes everything. I'm glad you feel the fucking bottom. Now you can help other people who have been there. That's where you find purpose. It's on the fucking journey, man. You have to go do some nasty shit. The road to leadership it's paved in shit man. It's just shit road after shit road after shit road. And when you go, dude, I'm at the corner of this shit road and this shit road. I'm like I remember when I was at that crossroad Don't go left. It's a fucking dead end. Ask me how I know. I was at that crossroad for two years. It's shit road. You got to go. You have to go straight. Don't go left or right. That's once a cul-de-sac and once a dead end. That's leadership.

Speaker 2: 1:59:10

Yeah, your words have not been said. That's how it is. That's how it goes.

Speaker 1: 1:59:19

Yeah, you're right now. You're doing the same thing everybody does when they get on the show this is you're right now you're doing the same thing everybody does when they get on the show.

Speaker 2: 1:59:30

This is exactly what I expected. This motherfucker goes hard. Yeah, you, you, you have an energy about you. I'm, I'm a very, uh much. I mean, I'm not so so much fired up. I'm, I'm a, I'm a listener, maybe a softer, softer voice most of the time. But you, my friend, you're the opposite end of the spectrum and I, I, I love that about you listen, you got that soft radio voice though, man, that's okay that's right, I just mute myself and just listen.

Speaker 1: 1:59:57

I'm like yeah, tell me a story, dude let me soothe you for a little bit here no, we're yin and yang, and that's a good thing, man, cause people need both, cause there are people who will listen to me and go, that guy's too fucking much, it's their judgment. And there's people who listen to you and go that's, that's the tone that I can follow. I can follow that guy, I can relate to that.

Speaker 2: 2:00:16

And that's back to like none of us are competing because we're all going to reach the people that that resonate with us. Right, we're the people that resonate with me but aren't going to resonate with you in the same way. Like, my life experiences and what I've been through and the things that I've learned along the way are a part of why I resonate with them. And your life has been completely different than mine, so you're going to reach a completely different than mine. So you're going to reach a completely different, different audience. But we all we all have our, our story, we all have our people that that we're going to resonate with um. So, yeah, you're right, man, it's the yin and the yang. It's important, it's an important part of life yeah you're, you're needed, I'm needed.

Speaker 1: 2:01:04

Like we both sides are neat. I grew up in fucking Sparta, dude. I know what fucking combat, abuse, abandonment, brutality, addiction. I know all these fucking. I know the day, I know the game on the side. Come and get you, I'm on my way, I'm not afraid of any of that shit. Who know know, I will walk in the fire for you. I'm gonna fucking flinch. So like there's a fucking dragon there. I'm like it's not my first dragon, bro.

Speaker 1: 2:01:35

Well, if you ever get a chance to see me do like, like combat and go in and save a guy's life, these guys know that like I don't fucking flinch in the face of demons, I don't flinch in the face of monsters. I'll come right into the darkest pit that you've got and be like I'm on my way, man, they do, he really doesn't flinch in the face of monsters. I'll come right into the darkest pit that you've got and be like I'm on my way, man, he really doesn't flinch, he really does go in there. He does the real thing. These are shows, dude. I hope that people resonate and understand that. The stuff that JR and I do, these social media content and stuff this is the. This is the show, it's the show man. These are the cool conversations you hear.

Speaker 1: 2:02:03

I go into hell on purpose. If some I see guys who are in there, I'm coming to get you. I don't need a manual or a book. I've already been through the fucking place a thousand times. I know the pitfalls, I know the demons, I know which things you're going to have to fight and I know how to train you how to do it. I've been doing it for years and that's why I argue with bad therapists and bad counselors and people who read the books and got degrees. I'm like you should probably go and visit the place you're talking about. Yeah, it's like me being a tour guide for the bahamas and never leaving america that's the craziest thing in the world to me.

Speaker 2: 2:02:38

You know people in those positions, trying to help people with things that they have no experience in. You can just tell them well, the book says you should do it like this, and that's why, for me, it's like some guys that I talk to. I'm like man. I don't know if I'm probably not the right person to help you through this stuff, Because I've never been through that. I don't know what it's like. You know what, what you're going through right now. You know, Um, and people teaching things from, from theory, that that haven't experienced it. Ah, it irks me. It irks me because I've experienced those people and fallen victim to it myself. Where it's, it's like there's no substance here. There's, there's nothing for me to grab onto, Like um, it's. It's like there's no substance here. There's, there's nothing for me to grab on to, like I'm, it's just nothing, it's empty yeah I'm gonna do a shout out.

Speaker 1: 2:03:32

This is man. I'm shooting fireballs today. I'm probably gonna get canceled for this, so I'm gonna call it out there. If you're with a counselor or therapist that is giving you advice to leave your partner when your partner is trying to work on like I'm watching especially with females being highly influenced by therapists to diagnose and destroy marriages with never talking to the spouse ever, like you need to have at least some awareness or armor up that if you're with somebody who's trying to destroy your relationship with it, never giving it a chance, you're not with a good counselor, you're not with a good therapist, and today's modern teaching around therapy is doing exactly that destroying love, destroying marriages and not even giving. Because I got good men who are like what the fuck is going on? The therapist never speak to them. They listen to only one side of a twisted story. Which women? Again, they don't speak in truth. I'm calling it out.

Speaker 1: 2:04:29

I've been working on women's groups forever Fucking. They don't speak in truth. They change the story. Accountability is not a part of the fucking story. They will give a propaganda point of view where they are victimized and other people should feel sorry for them. And the truth is they're fucking good at it.

Speaker 1: 2:04:46

It's subconscious how quickly they will leave the truth of their activities out of it. It's amazing how, whenever they tell a story, how victimized they are and they completely leave out the terrible things that they said to instigate. They conveniently leave out the thing that started the argument in the first place. They conveniently leave out their part that pushed that person to the fucking edge. Well, we leave all of that out Because that makes me look bad.

Speaker 1: 2:05:16

And our counselors and therapists are hearing one side of the story and saying you need to leave your husband, take everything from that man, destroy his fucking life. If you're one of those counselors or therapists, jump on my show. I'll invite you on. I'll have a conversation with you. Tell me why it's a good idea to destroy people's lives without ever hearing what's going on or giving them a fighting chance to save a fucking marriage. Now, does that mean all marriages need to be saved? Nope, some people do not have willing partners. Some people do not have somebody who wants to do better and not everybody is a match but at least give people a fighting, fucking chance to choose and don't choose for them yeah it's evil, it's all that is killing love, manilling love man, killing Pure evil man.

Speaker 1: 2:06:06

But there are relationships that have a chance that are destroyed by people giving their opinion without ever giving them a chance. They are dictating and choosing because they have a plaque on the wall that they're an authority to tell you. Like I can diagnose without talking to somebody, I'm going to tell you right now, red flag, if anybody diagnosed someone without ever speaking to, oh, it sounds like they're a narcissist. Like you have a conversation, you're only hearing the propaganda side of the story.

Speaker 2: 2:06:34

Throw those words around so flippantly.

Speaker 1: 2:06:36

Sounds like they have ADHD. It sounds like they're bipolar. It sounds like they're whatever. They're just diagnosing with, never having a conversation. One of the guys I trained for two and a half years was doing very well. Now he's got. He's in another company. I'm very proud of him.

Speaker 1: 2:06:51

Like our first conversation was his stepdad was going through a bunch of shit, went to a counselor, a therapist, for the first time ever, described the behavior that he saw in his twisted, fucked up version of his son or stepson and then said like well, I think, because of him talking to her, I think I may have ADHD and bipolar disorder. And he was like at the brink of tears. I shit you, not JR. I was cracking up, I was laughing my ass off and he's sitting there on the phone like looking at me. Like what, what are you laughing? I was laughing my fucking ass off and I'm like that is not how that shit works. You don't go three rumors down, WebMD. Now you have a fucking diagnosis.

Speaker 1: 2:07:35

That's fucking insanity, dude. That is not how that shit. There's no way that someone who never talked to you off of the opinion of a person who's not all together is correct. That's fucking crazy dude. And I've been talking to you for 45 fucking minutes and I haven't seen one of those fucking traits yet. That's hysterical. Later on, as him and I we worked together, he's like I don't have any shit, those things do it and it's all fucked up. I'm like but you almost had a belief system that you were, and as soon as you believe you are, you will act accordingly. Fucking, put that out there. I have a fucking anxious attachment disorder. No, you fucking don't. You have it if you believe you have it.

Speaker 2: 2:08:16

This is one of the most disgusting things about social media now is the, especially with like, adhd and anxiety. You see everyone and and whole pages dedicated to it, promote like and then people see and they're like oh, that reminds me that kind of I do those things. I guess I have adhd. I must be that, that's that that. That's why my life's all messed up.

Speaker 1: 2:08:48

It wasn't me.

Speaker 2: 2:08:50

Yeah, it wasn't me. It was the ADHD, it was the anxiety, it was the depression, it was the disorder.

Speaker 1: 2:09:00

Everybody who has this has ADHD.

Speaker 2: 2:09:01

by the way, Everybody who has a cell phone has adhd I, I hate I, I when, when guys come to me and like they, they tell me like things, like, oh, you know, I I'm starting to turn things around. I realize I have hd adhd, so now I'm on on this medication and it's making everything better. I'm just like I I don't even know what, what, what, I don't know what to say A lot of times like I'm just like I shouldn't touch that, but here's what. Yeah, listen, the only, the, the, the biggest truth out there is that the placebo effect is undeniable. It's undeniable in every study, all of time. If you believe it it's true, it's amazing.

Speaker 1: 2:09:56

Yeah, it's incredible. Those studies are incredible too. The results they're incredible. If you believe it makes you feel more confident, you'll become more confident. It's amazing. It's amazing what we do if you believe you. I think this is a dr joe dispenza. He does a lot of work where he was realizing that people can think themselves sick. But can you think yourself? Well then, if you can think yourself sick, it's fucking very good. It's a very good philosophy to work on. He's done fucking amazing work in neuroscience and in the meditation field. He's incredible rewiring people's subconscious and I do the same I work more in cbt, I work more in neuro.

Speaker 1: 2:10:30

I like the. There's a lot of different ways that I do the same things, but not through the neural pathways that he does, because he does the meditation.

Speaker 1: 2:10:37

I don't do meditation, I do cognitive, behavioral stuff and some would go into like are you aware of the choices that you're making and do you see how you work so you can make better decisions? Like they work together, the subconscious and the conscious are both supposed to do something, but I am consciously making decisions right now. Yes, right now, I am doing things right now. I am here with you right now, not on accident. I didn't reflex and do this. I choose to do this, you and me right now. I'm not an accident. I didn't reflect what the fuck? I just, you know, blinked and I'm here. No, I choose to be here. I am cognitively doing a behavior and what I choose to say that I'm doing it on purpose. I'm saying stuff on purpose. Is there a reason I'm communicating using a very limited language like english, to be able to share and connect with you in these ways? There's a reason I'm doing all these things. And so when you have a belief system that is corrupted, you have a belief system that I have a disorder, I am broken, I am messed up. I have anxiety, my anxiety, training. I have people within one week that go damn. After I know how that works, I don't have any of those triggers or feelings anymore. I just didn't know what I was doing. I will jump in anybody's anxiety circle and anybody who believes they have to believe. This is the only thing that I require from them. Do you believe that it's beatable? Anybody who's like I don't believe it's beatable. It's impossible. It's my identity and it can never be destroyed. It can never be defeated. I am this forever. I even have a test for people here. I'll do, I'll do. Just do the test right now. If anybody passes this test, your anxiety is beatable. If you think back to any time in your past, you had to give a speech in front of everybody, or I was going to ask somebody out, or I had to have a conflict conversation with the boss, or something that in the past, like, oh my God, like I'm having anxiety over that, oh my God, and something that you know, maybe 10 years ago or five years ago or whenever it happened. Look back at that event Now. You know how it ends. You know what happens. You know you nailed that speech, or you know they say yes, or you know how it ends. You know what happens. You know you nailed that speech, or you know they say yes, or you know that you and your boss resolved that shit. Like you know what happens, but thinking about that event right now, if you can go back to that event and right now you are not having a panic attack, your anxiety is beatable. It's because it's a learned behavior. At this point, you weren't born with that shit, it was taught. There's something that you don't know how to do yet, and so anybody who hasn't had a panic attack that has anxiety. It's beatable. It's not because you're broken, it's because you're brilliant.

Speaker 1: 2:13:17

People who have extreme anxiety have a heightened creativity and imagination system. They're very, very fucking brilliant in this abstract thinking field. They can go into all of these created possible futures and bring their fucking emotions with them. So they're living through all the things that could, should, would. Maybe that could happen, if that could happen, and what if they say this? And what if they say that? And what if this? And what if this?

Speaker 1: 2:13:41

And it's like being on your computer and opening fucking 50 tabs and not having an answer for any of you. You know why it's the future. So we don't know everything yet. And so now I got 50 tabs open, all possibilities, all bad, and I have no control. Well, what are you doing? I'm looking into the future 50 different ways and I just don't know what to do with it yet. Well, looking into the future is a fucking superpower. You're not busted. You just don't know how to use it yet. But if you practice going into these tabs on purpose, take it as far as you can learn the lesson that you would, if that did happen I would probably do this All right, close the tab. Well, now you start living through all these possible futures and learning experiences at a fucking heightened rate. That's called clairvoyance. I'm looking into the. I can clearly see possibilities. You are now a fucking superhero.

Speaker 1: 2:14:34

But if you have, if you don't have control of that ability with your abstract thinking and it takes control of you, well that's because you don't control your ability yet, and so that means you get anxiety and freak the fuck out. But if you practice and train it, you're going into the future, possible futures that 99.9 of the time never happen. Well, you're not broken, you're brilliant. But you're convinced that you're broken, you can't't get better, and so you stay in this mindset that I am constantly the problem, I am constantly incapable, I am crippled by, I am unable to ever do anything, I am busted in all these ways and I will never be more and you should comply to my brokenness and you should treat me a certain way and can't and I don't deserve and I'm not capable of and I'm not able to. Yeah, you are. You have a fucking superpower. You just turned it into a crutch.

Speaker 1: 2:15:35

When people change their belief system that I'm not broken, I'm fucking brilliant they no longer require the medication that makes it. So they feel dull, they feel like they have to turn everything down. Learn how to use your ability and you become fucking clairvoyant. You become one of the most useful people in the room. You think God fucked up by giving you abstract thinking. You're fucking useful man. Adhd, you know. Adhd guys used to be the best hunters in the clan Squirrel deer. Adhd guys were the best fucking hunters, best hunters, great chefs. Just put people in the right spots, you got brilliant fucking people, man.

Speaker 2: 2:16:19

Problem is we're trying to put everyone in a box.

Speaker 1: 2:16:21

Yeah, fit in a box, man here's your diagnosis Take pills yeah, if you don't fit in box, yeah, fit in the box man. Here's your diagnosis Take pills.

Speaker 2: 2:16:25

Yeah, if you don't fit in this box, something's wrong with you, man, something's wrong with him.

Speaker 1: 2:16:29

There's only two kinds of people, JR, trained or untrained. You either know how to do stuff or you don't. Yeah, If you don't, let's create some excuses, some justifications and some bullshit. Take some medication and just hurt people for it.

Speaker 2: 2:16:45

Yeah, I'll see you in the blame thrower arena.

Speaker 1: 2:16:47

Everybody else is fault. I didn't have anything to do with it. It's everyone else. You're bad, you're bad, you're bad, you're bad. I'm good. I need drugs. I hate me.

Speaker 2: 2:16:58

Oh man.

Speaker 1: 2:16:59

Yeah, welcome to social media.

Speaker 2: 2:17:01

Yeah Well, listen man. I got a hard stop in a few minutes here.

Speaker 1: 2:17:07

Actually, I'm a very important person, jr, I got to let you go I know you have some amazing things I have to do. I love you, I love you for that.

Speaker 2: 2:17:15

I love you for that. That's one of my favorite things to do. Actually, You're brilliant.

Speaker 1: 2:17:19

This is awesome.

Speaker 2: 2:17:21

Actually I have to let you go.

Speaker 1: 2:17:27

Actually awesome, actually I have to let you know, actually I'm super busy, uh, so I better, I better hang up all right jr tell people who have loved what, if they've made it to two hours and 16 minutes so far, and what we're doing. If they're like I love this dude, I gotta work with him. I want to be part of the king's community. Where should they go? What should they do? What do you need them to be plugging into?

Speaker 2: 2:17:41

yeah, so everybody, you can just Google or search on any of the socials. King's community, just spelled as it sound, You'll find us there. You'll find links to all the different resources, whether it's you know, one-on-one stuff or or the community and everything that we promote. So simple as that, man.

Speaker 1: 2:18:03

Way to go, brother. It has been such an honor to have you on, man. I appreciate you so much, man, so thank you yeah.

Speaker 2: 2:18:09

I, I hope that we can do this again, man, I want to.

Speaker 1: 2:18:13

I want to manifest that shit, then we'll do it again.

Speaker 2: 2:18:16

Yeah, let's do it again, cause I want to. I want to learn more about, about your map. I want to hear more about everything that you're doing.

Speaker 1: 2:18:25

so I can, uh, so I can be better with what I'm doing. Let's team up, then I want to do some stuff to help out your community. I'd love you to come help my community. So, for anybody who listened this far in, join either both or one of our communities and then you get to be a part of both of us, training you guys in fucking like real time. And so jump in with jr's group, jump in with my group and or both groups, and then get something that you can to be the best man you can be, because we need warriors, we need kings. And so let's team up, join the groups, all right? Thanks, brother, absolutely Thank you.