Dalton First United Methodist Church Podcast
Healthy Families | Pt. 1 of Bless This Home - Pastor Steven Usry
Healthy Families | Pt. 1 of Bless This Home - Pastor Steven Usry
Ever thought about the secret ingredients that make a family not just functional, but thriving, joyful, and deeply connected? Well, that's exactly what we're going to explore in this episode!
Healthy Families | Pt. 1 of Bless This Home - Pastor Steven Usry
Ever thought about the secret ingredients that make a family not just functional, but thriving, joyful, and deeply connected? Well, that's exactly what we're going to explore in this episode!
You are listening to the Dalton First United Methodist Church podcast. To learn more about Dalton First United Methodist Church, visit us online at DaltonFUMCcom. We hope that today's message from Pastor Stephen Usry inspires and encourages you.
Speaker 2:Well, this morning we're launching a brand new series and it's called Bless this Home and it's going to be about the family. Today I'm going to talk about the family at large, and then next week we're going to talk about marriage, and we're just going to be all during the month of August talking about the family, because one of the priorities, one of the very important goals of this church is that we would help build healthy, strong and successful families, and so today I have the honor of talking about family. Inside your worship guide, I want to invite you to turn a few pages back. You'll always find an outline back there. That outline is a short outline of what I'm going to be preaching today, sharing from God's word. But inside the seat back in front of you there, there'll be a pin, and I always invite you to grab a pin and maybe, right in the blanks that are there, maybe you would take some notes in the margins. Maybe there would be an idea, especially for husbands and wives, maybe that you'll get today about how to have a strong family. Now let me mention this to you Today I'm going to talk about family, and when I talk about family today, I'm talking certainly about what we might call parent-child relationships, but we're going to talk about more than that. We're going to talk about spouses and what it means to be married, and so I hope you get some good ideas about how to have a healthy family there. We're going to talk about families in every sense of it. So if you're a single parent and you're raising children, my hope is that this will be educational and inspiring and maybe help you think about how to have a healthy family with those God's entrusted to you. And if you're single with no children, rejoice. And it is a Holy Communion Sunday. So today I'm going to go fast, is that all right? I want to talk to you about six elements of a healthy family. As a matter of fact, I've built a little lacrosse stick, if you will, f-a-m-i-l-y, and I hope it becomes a little tool, a little prism for you to think about what makes a healthy family and you can think about your family. All right, six elements of a healthy family. If you have your pen, let's go, all right.
Speaker 2:Healthy families, make fun. Healthy families make fun. What we mean by that is they know how to make fun, have fun, have laughter, have joy in their home, and I do not mean by that that mom has to be a stand-up comic or dad has to hide behind the doors with a little nose and clown shoes, all right, that's not what we mean. What we mean by making fun is that your home is filled with laughter. It's not always about the things that we do or the things we have to accomplish. It's a place where kids really learn the joy, the fun of being a family. You know, jesus one time said in John 10, 10. The thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I came so that they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of. Real and eternal, more and better. I think families should be fun. By the way, church I think church we're a family should be fun, and laughter is a good thing. The writer of Proverbs put it this way A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. I think it's important for us to understand that healthy families make fun.
Speaker 2:Now notice that I didn't say healthy families have fun. I really meant that word make all right. Healthy families know what it is to make fun happen. I met somebody not long ago. They were talking about the generations that we have the young people right now and they were saying well, they don't have stuff to do. We gotta give them stuff to do, as if if we gave them more toys and more gadgets, it would make them funner and happier people. Let me tell you guys, a long time ago in a different life I guess I was a young youth pastor for a very a fluent church in Atlanta. We had all the toys, we had all the tools. We had literally a gym with skates and hockey books and hockey sticks and soccer goals. Let me tell you, you can open up a space like that with all the toys and all the gadgets, and kids will have fun for about a week if they don't know how to make fun. What I'm talking about is you want a healthy family. It's not about the toys, it's not about the more stuff you get. It really is learning how to have fun as a family and make fun as a family. Parents, teach your kids how to make fun. Make things fun.
Speaker 2:Now, in each one of these points, I'm gonna give you some ideas, some creative ideas that you might wanna bring into your family as you think about how to be a healthy family. So let me share a few of those. The first one is this slow down, slow down. When you run, run, run, do you realize that when families are busy, busy, busy, the first thing that gets out the door is fun? All right, it really is. When you are running like crazy, fun is the first thing to leave the house, and so you gotta find a way to slow down. Another idea for you is schedule some play time. Now, that might be a date night for a husband and wife to say you know what, every week or every month, we are going to have a date night. But you know what? It could also be a family date night, a night that you say we're gonna do this every month or every time. We're gonna schedule some time to go have fun and play together as a family.
Speaker 2:Here's another idea do the unexpected, do something that is out of the norm. That will shock and surprise. I don't know if that's a all of a sudden you head off to go do something fun as a family. Maybe you do something different as a couple, right, see? I think you've gotta model a good marriage if you're gonna have a really strong and healthy family that makes fun together. So listen, if you go on that date night. Do something crazy, right? Sit on the same side of the booth together and just look at each other. You know that's different.
Speaker 2:You know, john, I noticed that you and Ann have an anniversary. These flowers are in honor of y'all. Happy anniversary, 36 years for John and Ann Bryant. Thank y'all. Hey, congratulations. I'm celebrating you and, if it's okay, I'm gonna pick on you.
Speaker 2:Okay, now you know, do something unexpected. I don't know what y'all are doing for your anniversary, but here's an idea. All right, do something out of the norm. There's a favorite restaurant you love. Surprise one another with that. Just go a different way. They'll never figure it out where we're going.
Speaker 2:All of a sudden, we pull into the parking lot. I heard a couple the other day. Ann, this is a great idea for you. It was the anniversary and they went to McDonald's and she surprised them by reaching in her purse and pulling out a candle and lighting it right there in the middle of the dot. They had a candlelight dinner in McDonald's on their anniversary date. All right, by the way, did you know that McDonald's will let you light a fire in there? Did you know that?
Speaker 2:What I'm talking about is doing the unexpected? This is part of making fun together, right? Here's a couple of more ideas. Real quickly, plan surprises. By the way, that might sound like an oxymoron, you don't plan surprises. Yeah, you do, yeah, you do. You can plan surprises and it all of a sudden it will bring fun and joy to the family. And one more simple idea that I've got for you Think about the routine things that you do all the time and ask yourself how can we make those things fun? How can we make bedtime fun? How can we make brushing our teeth fun? How can we make the chores a fun thing? Healthy families make fun. Write this one down Healthy families give attention.
Speaker 2:They give attention especially to one another. The Bible says it this way in Philippians 2. When you do things, do not let selfishness or pride you might wanna underline those two words. Do not let selfishness or pride be your guide. Be humble and give more honor to others than to yourselves. Do not be interested only in your own life, but be interested in the life of others. Guys, when I give attention really well in my family, it's because I'm focused on serving my family. And when I stink at this, can I tell you what I've tracked it back to when I really am not giving the proper attention to the people that God's given me. In my family, it's always back to the same thing Selfishness, paying attention more to myself, my needs, my wants, than really the people that are right there at my elbow, right. Healthy families give attention. They look to meet their needs first. So how are you doing that in your family? How are you giving one another really quality attention and care?
Speaker 2:A few ideas that I want to give to you here Find time to unwind, especially if you're at work in a stressful place and you're going home before you get home. Find some way to unwind before you walk through that door. Boy, I'll tell you, I had to learn how to do this as a young dad, because I would go home and start to take work home with me, right, and I would walk in and my wife would see all the stresses on me, and I had to learn how to unwind before I got home. Here's another idea allow people to finish their ideas and thoughts. By the way, when you're wired up and you walk in, you're all stressed out. You are not really ready to give the attention. My wife used to do it like this when I would come home. This is a great idea.
Speaker 2:Women might want to write this one down. When I would come home, my wife knowing that I wasn't who I needed to be, I hadn't taken time to unwind she would say well, I'm not stressed out. She would say welcome home. Extra O's and extra M's in there, we are so glad to have you home. That was my clue. You ain't at work, no more. Right? When I can really unwind, when I can really focus on somebody else's attention, now I'm really prepared to listen better, and that's what that second idea is about letting them finish their thoughts, letting them finish their ideas, letting them talk about what's going on in their world.
Speaker 2:Guys, we need to value the opinions of our children, even if it may seem like you would discount them. I heard a parent talking about recently their child was talking about how they were all in love with this little boy. Right, she was in love and this dad was like I don't care about that, that's puppy love, that's infatuation. By the way to her, puppy love is real, right. And so we got to value their opinions and listen. Let's give them attention. In my notes I wrote this pay attention to their tension by giving them attention. In every life we've got in our home there's tension. Do we really give them our attention? So healthy families they make fun, they give attention. Here's another one they capture memories. Healthy families are really good at capturing wonderful memories. By the way, remembering we talked about this last week.
Speaker 2:Remembering is a spiritual concept. Over and over again in the Bible, god says remember, remember, remember Over and over again, 350 times, more than 550, the different combinations of how that word is actually put together. Listen to this from Deuteronomy Be careful never to forget what you have seen God doing for you. May his miracles have a deep and permanent effect upon your lives. Tell your children and your grandchildren about the glorious miracles he did. Guys, this is what God says remember. Whenever we really remember what God has done, it causes us not only to think differently but to act differently. Everybody, look up at me for a minute here. Today we're going to experience Holy Communion together. We're going to celebrate once again the death and the resurrection of Jesus. Why do we have Holy Communion? Why do we do this meal? So that we can remember. We remember and by remembering it sets our hearts in a different place, and even as you get in your car to start to drive off from this campus, your life is going to be put back in a different direction.
Speaker 2:This is what happens when healthy families capture memories. Wonderful memories help our minds groove back into a good place, when our children can celebrate something good that happened. But it's not just those wonderful grooves of our mind, it's our hearts, it's how we will feel towards one another. So, healthy families, as you, capture memories. This is very important. You know, julie and I we know this, and our kids are in their 20s. We know this. We are not going to be able to save our children from every bad memory they have. There's going to be things that happen in their life that we wish that they wouldn't hold on to. But what we can do is we can try to inundate them with so many good memories that those bad memories are much further down the line, much further away.
Speaker 2:Healthy families capture memories. Here's a few ideas for you. Alright, the first idea that I have is create several anniversaries. You don't just have to have birthdays and anniversaries. You can make an anniversary about anything. Their first soccer goal, their report card right. Make great anniversaries right. Just have anniversaries built in. This is the day we brought you home. We don't really know, but we're celebrating the day we brought you home. Create anniversaries, right. Here's another one Hang up those wedding photos, get them out of the box, get them out of the frame or wherever, and put them up in the house Because, by the way, when you got married, that was like a great day.
Speaker 2:Alright, it might have been the greatest day of your marriage. Let's be honest. Okay, now you say you say I don't want to put that thing up. I mean, have you seen that tux? See, I'm embarrassed, that tuxedo I was wearing. And, my goodness, the 80s bouffant hair. Listen, I don't care what it looks like.
Speaker 2:Put it up, because healthy families capture memories. And those wedding photos, those birth photos, those wonderful moments here's another idea Enlarge your great vacations, enlarge those photos, put them up when you went to Six Flags, you went to Disney World, you went to the beach, you put those things out, get them up in your house. And one last one Return to wonderful, memory-rememorable, remarkable locations. My family and I, we have some spots we just like to go to because we've had such great moments that, before we even arrived, there's good things happening in our heart because of what God did in that place last time we were together. Healthy families make fun. Healthy families give attention. Healthy families capture memories, wonderful memories. Here's one. Write this one down Healthy families verbally inspire, verbally inspire.
Speaker 2:They encourage, they build up with their words. Now listen to the Scripture. The Bible says in 1 Thessalonians so give encouragement to each other and keep strengthening I've circled that word in my translation and they strengthen one another. What does strengthen mean? It means to fortify, to make stronger right. So this is really important. Well, pastor Steven, you don't understand. I grew up in a home that was not very encouraging, so it's kind of difficult for me when I try to encourage somebody, it's really hard. Okay, go to the counselor, deal with that, you figure it out. Because encouragement is important.
Speaker 2:It's important to have words that build up in your home and it's important for you, if you've been entrusted those children, to build them up with your words. And if it's a heart thing, then get your heart in the right spot. You know Jesus had something to say about our hearts. Jesus said out of your heart, the mouth speaks. Here's one way the Scripture says it. A good man's speech reveals the rich treasures within him, and the evil-hearted man is filled with venom, and his speech reveals it. Our words reveal what's going on in our heart, and so if you need to get your heart in the right place, get your heart in the right place because God's called you to encourage those around you. Healthy families verbally inspire. So, by the way, why do we hold on to encouragement Like it is some expensive commodity? It's free right To be able to encourage somebody is just free. We ought to be as liberal as we can possibly be, not only in our homes but in our church.
Speaker 2:Verbally inspire, encourage one another. How do you do that? A few ideas, real quickly. Catch one another, not just your kids. Catch whoever's living, whoever you call your family, even your extended family. Catch one another doing great things and celebrate those things. Catch one another doing those things and let them know how much you appreciate them. Affirm them in that. Here's another one Weigh your words.
Speaker 2:One scripture in the Bible says that this way is the word, your words can be like a sword that pierces. So we know that our words can hurt and cause pain, but we also know that our words can heal and build up. So weigh your words before you start to say them, hold on to them, weigh it out and say the right words. Here's another idea Write out your encouraging words. Some people are just better at writing. My wife when she writes me stuff. It means so much to me. I hold on to it. It's like gold when you put your love and you put your encouragement in words. It's like little treasures. So write it out. Here's an idea for a mom and dad out there.
Speaker 2:You're looking to be creative and have a healthy family. Not only write it out, write them a letter, put it in the mail, literally put a stamp on it. Did you know that kids love to get mail? You got mail. What I got mail? Yeah, you got mail today. And give them their mail and let them this is from you, yes, it is, yes, it is. And then let your words just build them up and wash over them.
Speaker 2:We're talking about how to be a healthy family today. Encourage them in public. That's a huge one man. I meet people all the time and their words almost portray their child, what their child is, becoming A great example. A child's in public, and they're meeting the preacher for the first time. Right, and there they are. I'm meeting mom and dad and I want to meet little Johnny and little Johnny. They say something like this yeah, little Johnny hides behind them. Little Johnny, he's our little shy one. Of course he's your little shy one. You're calling him out to be that, right? No, encourage one another and praise them in public, even call them into being what you want them to be in public.
Speaker 2:I heard a neat story. Gosh, I gotta go fast, but I don't want to miss this story. I love it. There's a little girl who grew up in Mississippi. Her daddy owned a farm True story. Her daddy owned a farm and he had a little country store on the little corner edge of their farm in Mississippi. The man who delivered milk to his store every week, every month, throughout the year, every week he would walk in there and see this beautiful little girl and he would do the same thing every time he saw her. He would walk up to her, rub her on the head, get down on her level and say, how's my little Miss America, you are beautiful and talented. Every week of every month winter, fall, spring, summer when he saw that little girl, rub her on the head, get on her level and say how's my little Miss America? True story. When she got to high school she started entering into pageants In 1980, she won Miss Mississippi and later that year, in 1980, she became Miss America. Words are powerful. When I first heard that story I went home and I saw my little girl, abigail, and I rubbed her on the head and I got on her level and said how's my little Miss millionaire?
Speaker 2:Families make fun, families give attention, families capture memories, families verbally inspire. Here's just a couple more Families, love without condition. Families, love without condition. You know the root of most family issues from children's perspective and I'm not a professional in the counseling world, but I've taken plenty of counseling classes Is it in some way, shape or form our children have received some message that they are loved conditionally? They are loved if they do this, they're loved if they perform this way and they become little performers. And you know what I've learned? That you might have a home where you really do love your children unconditionally, but sometimes the things we do communicate to them that our love is conditional. It's really important that you try to do things that tell them that they are loved unconditionally.
Speaker 2:Jesus said it this way love each other. You must love each other, as I have loved you. All people will know that you're my followers if you love each other. By the way, what Jesus was talking about there was a covenantal love. I will love you, my love will not change for you. I will love you all of your days. My love is unconditional, and I'm telling you that you should love others that way. Here's some ideas for how you do that.
Speaker 2:You love with your words, right, you love with your words. You come out and say things like I love you and you say it a lot. You say I love you, I need you, you belong, you're a part of this family. Your words matter, but not just your words. You love with your actions. Many people will tell you that they watch your actions more so than your words. So love with what you do.
Speaker 2:Finally, healthy families. Write this one down they yield to God. They yield to God. Healthy families make fun, they give attention, they capture memories, they verbally inspire, they love without condition. But you want a really strong, healthy family. You yield that family to God.
Speaker 2:I looked up the word yield this week in Webster's dictionary. I found words like submit a family that submitted to God, surrender a family that surrendered to God, relinquished, believe it or not. The word that threw me was relax. Yield can mean sometimes a synonym is relax and then I thought to myself at first I discounted that word, but then I thought you know what? When you really do yield your family over to God, you can relax, knowing that God's got your back.
Speaker 2:What does it look like to know, to trust that your family, if you place God at the very center of it, he is going to bless your family with health. You know, the Bible says this way love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, your soul and your strength. Always remember these commands I give you today. Teach them to your children, talk about them when you sit at home, when you walk along the road, talk about them when you lie down and when you get up. What the writer of Deuteronomy is saying there is one of the jobs of parents is to continually now listen, continually, make spiritual deposits in those children and you just tell them. You tell them about God and you tell them about what God's done, not only in the world but in your life, and you just keep making those spiritual deposits. And, by the way, the job of the church is to come behind you and to reinforce and make deposits right alongside you. This is the beautiful thing of yielding your family to God, making God the center of what this family is all about. My prayer for you is that you've done that.
Speaker 2:I've got to close this message, but as I close, I just want to close with two simple thoughts today. Well, pastor Sevan, aren't there more than six things that really make up a healthy family? Assuredly, assuredly, there are, but my prayer is that these six things and these scriptures that I've shared with you today can become a place of inspiration and maybe a starting place for you to think about how can we be the healthiest family we can be? The second thing I want to share with you is that I can understand it if somebody said well, that seems so overwhelming, that's a lot. Where do I begin? As your pastor, it's really clear to me where to tell you to begin.
Speaker 2:The best place to begin is with the why Yield your family to God. If you will yield your family to God and then do it again and again and again, by the way you realize, this is something we have to do over and over again. We don't just do it once. We have to, daily and weekly, make God the very center of our family. If you will do that, there will be a blessing over your family that you can trust in.
Speaker 2:I said at the very beginning of this message, one of our goals is to help build healthy, strong and successful families. We're here to help you do this. We want to have a church that is centered and yielded to God. We want to have families everywhere that are doing the same, so that our little world here and the world beyond us is being transformed, because we're making disciples, we're growing them up in the faith and they will follow Jesus and then build healthy, successful, strong families themselves. Hey, would you bow your head with me and let's pray together? God, we thank you for the great privilege of being a family.
Speaker 2:It was your idea in the very beginning and this month, as we study all that it means to be a family, god, we just pray that you would inspire us and teach us and mold us and shape us, and we're going to be able to do that, god. We just pray that you would inspire us and teach us and mold us and shape us. Every family here you know all about it. You know the challenges, you know the struggles, you know the strengths in every one of these families. God, you have put them together, you've assembled them together, god.
Speaker 2:We pray that you would be, lord, master, savior, teacher, that you would be the one who helps every father and mother and grandfather and grandmother and every child become all that we can be, to live into your plans, to be a strong, healthy, life-giving family. That is yielded to you, lord, in the next few minutes, as we come to receive Holy Communion. We're brothers and sisters, we're the family of God. It's a good moment again for us to remember what you did for us. Meet us in the breaking of the bread, meet us in the juices that touches our lips and once again remind us of your great love and raise us up to newness of life. Send us back out into the world to be your ambassadors of hope, your messengers of the good news. Thank you, lord. Meet us in this place. We pray in the name of Jesus, amen.
Speaker 1:Thank you for listening to the Dalton First United Methodist Church Podcast. With today's sermon resonated with you, we encourage you to share it with someone who might benefit from the message. Join us for worship and stay connected at DaltonFMCcom. God bless and see you next week.