Strategies for Working With Angry Customers

Megan Nelson from the Buzzsprout Podcaster Success Team joins us to discuss the art of working with angry customers without losing your cool. In this episode, we give you actionable strategies that will not only help you handle tough situations with grace, but also elevate your customer support experience to new heights!

Learn how to maintain calm, set boundaries, and resolve issues with empathy and professionalism!

We want to hear from you! Share your support stories and questions with us at happytohelp@buzzsprout.com!

Follow us on Instagram @happytohelppod

To learn more about Buzzsprout visit Buzzsprout.com

Transcript

Priscilla: 0:00

Welcome to Happy to Help. A podcast about customer support from the people at Buzzsprout. I'm your host, priscilla Brooke. Today we're focusing on a specific customer profile the angry customer. We'll go through some tips you can use to effectively work with angry customers so you can turn a negative experience into an excellent one. Thanks for joining us. Let's get into it. As always, we are joined by our producer, jordan hey Jordan, hey there. And today is already a great episode because we are joined by Megan Nelson. Megan is a member of the Buzzsprout Podcaster Success Team. She joined us in 2020, right during, like the beginning of the pandemic is when she started. I think her first day was April 1st 2020.

Priscilla: 0:46

So we were like deep into the throes of being stuck at home. She has experience in public relations and social media and she did some teaching before she kind of entered the podcasting support world, and so it's been really fun. She's been on the team for about four years now and she provides excellent support to our podcasters, but in addition to that she also writes the weekly newsletter for Buzzsprout and does some work with our marketing team on marketing initiatives, and so it's really fun. I'm excited to have Megan here. I think she's going to have some really good insight into working with angry customers. Megan, I'm curious what is your favorite thing about working in support?

Megan: 1:26

Well, thanks for having me. I can't believe I've already been in support for four years. It's crazy. It's so fast Probably my favorite thing about being here for the last four years. I love getting to help podcasters all day. I think it's really cool that we get to spend all day answering questions, teaching different things, and that, like instant gratification piece is so cool to me how we can help someone and five minutes later it's like they're back on their podcasting journey.

Priscilla: 1:49

Yeah, I think that's like such a good thing to remember when you're working in support is the instant gratification Like you're working with someone on something difficult, or even if it's not that difficult and that you can get it resolved, like right away, and move on to the next thing. If you're like the kind of person who likes to check off things on a to-do list, oh that's me, which is so me too, then support can be like really satisfying.

Priscilla: 2:12

In that way You're like great, tied that one with a bow. Moving on to the next one, I love that. So I'm glad we kind of were starting on this like positive note, because today we're going to talk about angry customers, which you know is something I think that everyone who works in the help those kind of customers, while also kind of protecting our own boundaries, our own peace, our own calm, because it's really easy to get caught up in the frustration on both sides if you're working with an angry customer. So that's what we're going to talk about today, and I'm really excited that Megan is here to join us.

Priscilla: 3:01

The first thing I kind of want to talk through is why are angry customers angry? So when you're working in support, there are going to be times when someone writes in and they're frustrated for a variety of different reasons, and I think it's important, before you start to get to a place where you're trying to solve problems or even like understanding strategies for responding to someone, I think it's important to know why they're angry in the first place, and so I jotted down a couple things on my end about things that I've seen over the years, about why people are frustrated and why they write in. The biggest one, I feel like, is that a customer writes in because they've had a bad experience with your product, or maybe if you offer a service. I feel like that's the most common.

Megan: 3:56

They've run into a roadblock and they ride in and they're frustrated because they've experienced something tough in that moment, like our gut reaction. But I think, as support people, we always want people to see us as humans too and not just like someone sitting behind a computer. We're not just a robot, and so I always try to like keep that mindset in reverse, like, okay, they're human too. What happened to make them like this?

Priscilla: 4:16

Right, and so understanding, like the why of what's frustrating them is, like I feel like that first step. I also feel like sometimes we will get customers who reach out who are just frustrated because they're expecting to have a bad experience. You know, like maybe they didn't have a big issue with the product or a bad experience with the product, but maybe they just have a random question. That's pretty run of the mill, but they're like I have to reach out to support now and so I'm coming in hot and I'm frustrated right off the bat. I think that is another good thing to be aware of if you're working with someone who's frustrated because the product has made them frustrated, or if they're just frustrated because they're assuming that the support is going to be mediocre or painful and so they're coming in ready for that. They're kind of bracing for that experience.

Megan: 5:07

Yeah, I think, unfortunately, the support industry gets a bad reputation for, you know, going to be a negative experience or this is going to be a headache, or it's going to take some time, and you can definitely tell the people who write in bracing themselves for those situations. But that's also a unique opportunity. I think that you get to be like oh, just you wait, this is about to be better.

Priscilla: 5:24

Yeah, exactly, I liked what you said about the human side of it. I think, as we're getting ready to talk through this, one thing that I think of is like the times that I have been the angry customer, you know, like I mean I can think not a ton, but I can think of times where I've been so frustrated working with a support team, and sometimes it's because the service I'm getting from the team is bad. Sometimes it's because the product didn't work the way it was supposed to. Sometimes it's because you're just not getting any responses at all and that's frustrating. But I can think of those times and I'm like, oh, I did not. That was not my peak Priscilla moment. That was a pretty bad moment for me, not one that I'm proud of. And even while understanding that and recognizing that, oh, that wasn't a great moment for me, I also can recognize why I was frustrated. So it's not like I shouldn't have been frustrated. That's still legit and valid, but maybe the way that came across wasn't the right way. And so I think you saying you know they're humans and we're humans, I think that's really important as you're working with anyone, to kind of keep that as like your most top of mind kind of information that you keep in your head that, ok, we are just people working together and I mean that's kind of how we approach all of our support anyway.

Priscilla: 6:42

But I think with angry customers, it's really important to keep that top of mind. Both of these types of customers can be won over right with remarkable support, but I think the techniques that you'll use for each one are slightly different, and so I kind of jotted down some techniques. So the person who's kind of angry with the product or angry with the service, I think it's important to apologize. If it's our fault, like if it's something that it really was, like the product malfunctioned, then apologizing for that specifically is really important. If it wasn't something that the product did wrong and it wasn't our fault, or maybe it's the product didn't work the way they expected it to work, but it wasn't actually that the product was wrong, it's just that they didn't understand it, right. Does that make sense? Yeah was wrong. It's just that they didn't understand it, right. Does that make sense? Yeah, then like empathizing with them, even though we're not necessarily apologizing for it, but we're going to empathize with them because their reality is still their reality and it still caused frustration.

Megan: 7:34

Yeah, I think a lot of times angry customers like a great way to start diffusing either way is just to recognize the anger, because that's something that they want to see recognized, because it's something that came up for them. So the faster I think you can recognize that, either through an apology or through empathizing with them, makes them feel seen and like you're on their team going to say that you know really well.

Priscilla: 8:04

But obviously you can still be mad at people you know well, but it's harder to be rude and angry to people when you know that it's like another person who's like actively trying to help you. And so like establishing that early on and like humanizing the conversation right off the bat I think is going to hopefully start you off on the right foot when it comes to like turning that situation around.

Megan: 8:22

Yeah, which can be difficult when you're on email support because you don't have that voice connection or you don't see someone right in front of you. But it's also important to make sure you're trying to establish that through your words as well, so people understand that it's on the other side of the computer. There actually is a person there.

Priscilla: 8:37

Right. And that goes back to the tone conversation we had a couple of weeks ago about how important how you write is and the tone you write in, especially when you're working with someone who's frustrated because they are not going to have a ton of margin for your tone being slightly off. You know what I mean. They're really close to the edge there, and so you want to make sure you're very intentional about how you're writing back to them.

Priscilla: 9:01

One thing I had on here for those kind of customers that are frustrated because they had an issue with the product was to confirm details. I think sometimes when you're writing in and you're frustrated, it can be easy to focus on the frustration right off the bat and miss the like facts that are underneath, and so confirming those details and making sure that everyone's on the same page before you start to like solve the problem and address the frustration I think having that basis and understanding of the facts is really important, and so for those people that have run into an issue, it's really important as a support specialist to know what issue exactly they run into and what steps they use to get there and kind of understanding those facts right as like a base level.

Jordan: 9:47

So by saying like confirming the details, do you mean that it helps to write back and be like okay, so you're saying that you took this step and then you ran into this and then you tried this and you ran into this. Is that what you're talking about? When you're talking about, like confirming details? Are you talking about like following up and asking just to make sure, like did you check your password and check this and check?

Priscilla: 10:09

that that's a good clarification. I mean the first thing, making sure that you understand the steps they took, understanding their reality.

Jordan: 10:18

And it's like repeating back to them what they've said and it kind of confirms to them at the same time that you are hearing them, you are listening to what they're saying Exactly and they're yes, it's like active listening but it's funny to talk about it as active listening when you're on email support.

Priscilla: 10:36

But it's kind of like that active listening. They've told you what issue they've run into and now you're going to return it to them, kind of as a way to show your work, that you know exactly what the problem is and you understand and you're on the same page and so then you can move forward with solving the problem for them.

Megan: 10:53

I think that's such like an important piece to remember, especially for angry customers, because I think sometimes someone can write in really angry and sometimes they're using language you're not used to or something kind of catches you off guard and your first instinct as someone who just wants to help is to like I have to make the situation better right now, and sometimes that causes you to jump to conclusions on this must be what's happening because they're so angry about this. But if you take the time to step back and repeat back to them the steps they're doing, it also helps you as the support specialist not miss anything and not make any assumptions or go straight to like diffusing what's going on.

Priscilla: 11:28

Because the only thing that's more frustrating about having an issue with a product and then reaching out to a support team is when the support team doesn't understand what the issue is.

Megan: 11:37

Or solves the wrong issue for you because they made an assumption that can spiral it way worse than the one email that came in.

Priscilla: 11:43

Yeah, so getting that foundation is so important One thing that we that's pretty unique to Buzzsprout but people will write in and they'll say I can't download my episodes. And in Buzzsprout, typically you're uploading episodes, you're not downloading them. And so sometimes people will write in and they'll be frustrated and say my episode's not downloading. And it's important for us, as a support specialist who's trying to diffuse a situation, to clarify that what they're trying to do is uploading, because if we were to just take downloading at face value, we'd be like, well, yeah, you're not supposed to download, but that's going to make someone more frustrated. So, kind of like looking for those facts, finding that clarifying do you mean that you're uploading the episode? If so, here's where that could have gone wrong or however it is. But yeah, I think that's really important to set those facts so that you're on the right path, going forward and not making assumptions that could just cause more frustration.

Megan: 12:35

Yeah, especially if you're in an industry like podcasting that has very specific terminology and that's very easy to get mixed up.

Priscilla: 12:42

Oh yeah, for sure, and I kind of alluded to it earlier. But I think angry customers they're not going to have the tolerance for kind of fluff. So one thing we do a lot with support is we're very casual and we're friendly and we're fun and we use GIFs and we use emojis. And if someone writes in and they're angry about something and you send them a GIF back that's like tonally so different than their frustration in their email and you send them like a high-fiving, like we can do this GIF, that's probably not going to be easing the situation. So you kind of have to read the tone a little bit and make sure that you're handling something with the same sense of care that they are, so that you're not devaluing, maybe, the issue that they're running into. You want to make sure your tone is kind of matching them a little bit so that they feel like they're being taken care of by someone who really cares about the issue that they're going through.

Megan: 13:29

Taking it seriously. Yeah, taking it seriously.

Priscilla: 13:31

You said it in three words. So I think with people who are angry in general so not people that have run into an issue with the product, but someone who's just writing in because they have an expectation that sports going to be bad and so they're just right off the bat, they're coming in hot I think with those people it's likely that they've already decided how the interaction is going to go and so we kind of have this fun opportunity to prove them wrong, if that makes sense, and so it's a little bit. I mean, I kind of see those a little bit more fun when people write in and they're like oh great, this happened again. Now I can't do this or I'm frustrated and I have to reach out to support, and it's not because of something like that's product related, but it's just now I got to do this and you guys are going to be bad. It's more fun, kind of, to be like oh, let me show you it's actually not going to be bad, this is going to be great and you're going to have a fun time.

Priscilla: 14:22

So I feel like with those people I always try to get to the root of what's frustrating them first. So it's the same thing with kind of like figuring out where the issue was with the product. I want to get to the root of where the frustration lies and if it's that, they assume that it's going to be bad support because it phone support, starting right there and addressing that right up front and saying, hey, we actually have really great email support and let me show you like, let me work with you and show you that it's going to be really good.

Megan: 14:47

Yeah, and a great tip for that which I try to do is when I can tell somebody is writing in and they think this is going to be a bad experience, I try to take as much personalization from their email as possible. So, like, as always, make sure you're including their name, but sometimes even like repeating some of the phrases that they have said in their email back to them as a part of your answer, or if they have something funny in their signature. Replying back to them with that can also really help too, because it makes them be like, oh my gosh, they really read through my email and they care about this and they're responding, and it's not just like some quick answer they're trying to send off to me.

Jordan: 15:18

Yeah.

Priscilla: 15:23

I think that can go a long way with somebody who's not expecting it yeah, it like inserts the personality into it and with those kind of frustrated customers who are expecting a bad experience, giving them that personality can be so beneficial and it really, like can turn the whole thing on its head. I know that you've had this happen, megan. I've had it happen where people write in. One of the things that is like my pet peeve in support is when people say what gives, like they'll ask a question and then they'll say what gives, and it just always kind of like grinds my gears a little. I'm like oh, what gives? Oh, let me explain. But those people I'm always like, let me flip this around for you. Let me show you that I am not just like a robot on this other side, but I'm a real person. I'm going to help you. I'm going to like show you that I know who you are, kind of a thing. I'm going to read that thing in your signature.

Jordan: 16:08

I give, I give I give what gives. I give, I give a lot.

Priscilla: 16:14

I give a lot of care and understanding to you as a podcaster.

Megan: 16:17

I also think, like the speed of the response time with those podcasters is key. Obviously you never want to be like rushing your response, like you don't want time to be at the sake of quality, but if you can give them a very quality response in a few minutes or in an hour or whatever is standard for your company's response time, I think that makes a really big difference too. I think it can totally turn it on its head when they get a thought out email back five minutes later.

Priscilla: 16:46

Yeah Well, I don't know about you guys, but when I'm frustrated, just in like my regular life, the more I sit alone in my thoughts, the more frustrated I get. And so it's like you said you don't want to leave someone sitting for two hours because they're just going to grow and get more frustrated and maybe they start emailing you multiple times. We have that too, where people will say I've been sitting for 45 minutes, you haven't responded. So kind of prioritizing that a little bit and getting back to them quickly with good quality responses is good, and I think the flip side of that is making sure your responses are quality, because if you're responding quickly and they're one sentence, quick blurbs, that's not gonna communicate to your customer that you're really invested in the situation and they aren't going to feel cared for in that way. So I think there's a good balance there of being quick and also being thorough.

Megan: 17:33

Yeah, you want to make sure you're still the expert in the space.

Priscilla: 17:35

Yeah, I think the point is kind of what we talked about earlier, that people come into support situations sometimes with bad expectations of that support experience and the reason they have those expectations is because they have had bad support experiences in the past and so it's not that they're just coming in because they expect us to be bad for no reason. They've probably had situations where they've been treated not great, and so you know we also want to be aware of that. You know that's not who we are and we're going to give you a really good experience. But I also recognize that this is not what you're expecting, this is not what you've had in the past, and so hopefully by the end of that conversation that's changed their opinion of support a little bit. But we kind of want to be gentle to that, that it is because they've had a bad experience in the past, not just because they expect it to be terrible for no reason.

Megan: 18:24

Yeah, and it can take a few interactions too. I think to be prepared for that as a support specialist as well. I know there are companies I've emailed into and had great experiences with, and the first one I'm always skeptical, like did I just get a good support person, or is this how you run your team?

Jordan: 18:37

Yeah.

Megan: 18:37

And then after a few interactions I'm like oh no, I can definitely count on them If I email them. I know I'm going to get something back. So I think, also being aware that it could take some time to build that relationship.

Priscilla: 18:46

Yeah for sure, and I don't want people to hear this and think, ok, so you're telling me, as a support specialist, I should just be a punching bag and people can be rude and mean to me and angry with me and I'm just going to roll over and take it because I'm a support specialist, like. I don't want that to be the takeaway here, and so I also want to talk a little bit about strategies that we use Megan and I and the rest of the Buzzsprout support team use to kind of navigate angry customers in a way that allows us to still protect our calm and protect our peace in support and just protect ourselves and not have someone just yelling at you for no reason when you can't get through that.

Megan: 19:26

Yeah, and the reality is is there's so many calm, wonderful, not angry customers for the one angry customer, and if you let the one angry customer get to you, it can impact your responses to all the other customers you deal with while you're processing what's going on, and so it's really important to make sure, like you said, like that you're protecting your piece, that you don't have to roll over and be a punching bag for them, because you also not only just for yourself you have to be able to give to these other people writing in to support and you want to make sure that they are getting the same remarkable support as the angry customer.

Priscilla: 19:58

Yeah, I think that's really important and you know, if you're leading a support team, I think it's really important to have these kind of strategies outlined for your team so that your team feels equipped to handle these situations and they know what tools they have available to them to move through this situation. Because if you aren't given any tools to work with an angry customer, then, depending on the person who's working with them, it can be really difficult and it can be it can cause people to burn out really easily if you don't have good tools in place. I wanted to talk through some of our tips we have. So we have kind of a document that outlines some of our like strategies and support, and so I pulled some of those that kind of relate specifically to angry customers and I wanted to talk through those a little bit.

Priscilla: 20:45

So the first one goes back to one of our earliest episodes where we were talking about empathy with Brian and he mentioned the idea that everyone has a story. That's a really important thing to remember when we're working with frustrated or angry or mean people in support is that there's something going on on their end that we don't know about, and so when you're working with anyone who's frustrated or not. Remembering that and keeping like you said, Megan, at the beginning, the human aspect of it. Keeping that top of mind is really important to set the tone for the entire back and forth and it allows it to keep it calm, or at least it gives it the ability to stay calm. It's possible that the conversation won't stay calm if they get more frustrated over time because you can't fully control how someone's going to respond to you, but at least keeping that for us as the support specialist, top of mind is a good way to start off that whole interaction.

Megan: 21:41

Yeah, it helps to set the framework for where you want it to go.

Priscilla: 21:44

Yeah, exactly, and you said it earlier, megan. You said use the customer's name, and I had that written down here too as like a strategy, a way to like make sure that we're communicating to them that we're human. It's kind of like leveling with them, like I'm going to use your name. Sometimes I'll use it at the end of an email to like remind them like hey, I still know, your name is Cynthia. You know, like I'll say hi to Cynthia in the beginning and then I'll say if there's anything else I can do to help, please let me know Cynthia, or something, so that the person knows that at the end of the email that I still know who they are, I still know who I'm talking to, and we recommend to never respond angry. I think that's pretty self-explanatory.

Priscilla: 22:23

But you know, when you're working with customers all day and you're emailing them over and over and over and over, it can be hard sometimes to stop yourself if you start to get frustrated. But it's really important if someone is written in to you and they're angry and you find yourself also matching that anger or even like feeling it internally and going okay, I got to suppress this and write a happy, empathetic email, but inside I'm frustrated and I'm starting to get mad with them. Just stop typing. I feel like I have learned. I've gone back and read emails when I was frustrated and I was writing in an empathetic way, and I can tell that I was not as empathetic as I could have been, like I can. I can feel the frustration coming through, even if I feel like I'm masking it really well in my writing. The reality is you're probably not, and so one of our top things is if you're frustrated, if you find yourself getting frustrated, take a break. Stop responding. It's totally OK to let it sit responding.

Megan: 23:23

It's totally okay to let it sit. I think that's like a really freeing thing if you lead a support team to instill in your team as well. I remember when I was first starting on the team. You know we're in the height of COVID. We're getting a ton of emails a day, everyone's starting a podcast and that was a very challenging time for a lot of people. So we did see maybe I don't want to say more angry customers during that time, but definitely there was more emotion being put into some of the emails that were coming through and it was so freeing for me to have Priscilla say like hey, you can wait a minute to respond to that person.

Megan: 23:49

Like go answer this other one and come back to it, just to kind of clear your mind for a second and to make sure you're not responding from an angry place, Even if you think you're not. Sometimes putting a little like actual time distance between you and the email is super helpful for everyone's mental state, Like it helps you cool off a little bit. Sometimes it helps the person writing in have a second to be like oh wait, maybe I shouldn't have gotten so worked up about that or maybe I said that in a way that didn't come across well in email, and so I think having that start at the top and come down is super freeing for the team and can really help to set a calm culture.

Priscilla: 24:25

Yeah, and I think earlier we said we don't want to make customers wait too long when they're frustrated. I do think there's a balance there. You don't want to make them sit for an hour, but if you're responding from a place of frustration, that's not going to be beneficial to anyone. Place of frustration, that's not going to be beneficial to anyone. And so taking five minutes, stepping away from your desk, changing the track, you know, changing your mind to something else and then coming back to it, allows your kind of patience reserve to build up a little bit. And even if that's just five minutes, it can still be really beneficial. And that kind of leads into the next one, which is take a break.

Priscilla: 24:58

During right, when Megan started really in the pandemic, things got a little bit crazy at Buzzsprout support because we had, you know, megan was a new hire, she had just joined the team, podcasting was booming and Buzzsprout was getting a lot more new podcasters that needed help, and so we were, you know, stretched a little thin at that point, and so we ran into situations where we had been like working without moving for a long time.

Priscilla: 25:25

So when you're working with someone and you haven't taken a break in a while and they're getting frustrated with you, it can be really hard to continue working with that person. So it kind of goes hand in hand with the don't respond angry. But it's almost just like take a break, walk away, go outside, see some sunshine, remind yourself that there are things outside of just what's happening in your computer, because that's going to give you so much more to pull from when you come back and you start working with podcasters again or with customers again. So take a break is another tool that we have in our tool belt when we're working with frustrated customers.

Megan: 25:57

Making a cup of coffee can save a lot.

Priscilla: 26:00

Yeah, it can Take a minute. Go make a latte, come back, you'll be happier and then you'll give people better support. For sure it's miraculous. Okay, one of my favorite things that we do is that we will pull each other in. We'll call for backup.

Priscilla: 26:17

I love this technique for a couple reasons because it allows us, as a team, to lean on each other, and it also shows other people as a team to lean on each other, and it also shows other people on your team that you have their back.

Priscilla: 26:26

And so if someone's getting too frustrated with you and you're like, you know, I just feel like this person is going to need a different voice, because at this point they're frustrated with me Like maybe it's me, maybe I'm working with someone, priscilla and they are starting to get frustrated with me and I go. You know, I really think they need a different voice, like there's something about me that's adding frustration. I'm going to pull in Megan and have her take over, and Megan has renewed full tank of patience with this person, and so she's going to come in. They're going to hear a new voice, and maybe the response from them then is oh, megan's so much better than Priscilla is, and them than is. Oh, megan's so much better than Priscilla is, and that's you know. If that's how they take it, that's okay. But the goal is to make sure that they're getting the best responses, and if my voice is no longer doing that, then having the ability and the freedom to pull in someone else to provide a different voice for them, I think can be really beneficial.

Megan: 27:17

And it doesn't have to be a clunky transition either. Like in your email, you can just quickly say like I'm Megan and I work with Priscilla, she wanted me to take a look at this for you, and that makes them feel like, oh, I'm getting extra care, extra attention. They're really thinking about this from their side and it is. You have two people now who are talking about your situation, trying to make it as best as possible.

Priscilla: 27:54

So it doesn't have to be an awkward transition. It can be a quick handoff and it can really make a big difference for some people to just feel like a look at this and to give new insight or to get a new perspective or something like that, and it communicates to the person that they're getting VIP treatment because they're getting a second person, and so, yeah, I think that's a really good thing to point out. That doesn't have to be like every time you're pulling in your manager. It doesn't have to always be escalated up. It can be a lateral voice change to always be escalated up. It can be a lateral voice change.

Priscilla: 28:28

Okay, another tool that we use is assuming positive intent. So a couple weeks ago we were talking about how, with communication, so much of it is body language, so much of it is not the words you're saying, and so when you're working in email, you're losing so much of kind of that communication because all you're doing is email and written word, and so with that it's sometimes you will be misunderstood by your customers. But sometimes you will misunderstand your customers Right, because they're only able to communicate via email as well, and so one of the things that we will do is we'll just assume positive intent. Well, and so one of the things that we will do is we'll just assume positive intent. So sometimes someone will send an email that you are like I'm pretty sure they mean this to be rude and sarcastic, but I'm going to assume that they're being positive and that they're intending this to be helpful and that's how I'm going to take it. I'm going to take it in that way, even if I'm pretty sure they're trying to be rude and snarky, I'm going to assume positive intent. I'm going to be kind back and assume that they're being positive.

Priscilla: 29:25

And you know, I think that that can be hard. I know for me it can be hard, because if someone's snarky with me, I want to be snarky, but it's so important to assume that they're being positive that they're not being snarky. So when they say what gives and in my like person I'm like oh, what gives? You're coming in hot instead responding and saying like, hey, let me explain this to you. And not taking that like what gives at face, like taking it as a positive what gives, allows me to kind of have a kinder response if we assume positive intent. One of my favorite ways this shows up, or has shown up in non-support terms is have you guys seen the movie Everything Everywhere All at Once? Yes, I have not.

Priscilla: 30:13

Okay, I love this movie. It's fantastic. If you haven't seen it, go see it. It's so good. Michelle Yeoh is amazing.

Jordan: 30:20

There are some moments like I wouldn't take kids to see it, but it is so good. Michelle Yeoh is amazing.

Priscilla: 30:23

There are some moments like I wouldn't take kids to see it, but it is so good. Thank you, jordan, that's a good thing to say no children.

Priscilla: 30:28

It's not a kids movie but it's so good. But there's one part in the movie where you kind of have a husband and a wife and the wife is very combative, she fights a lot, she's, you know, very physical with the fighting and the husband is more meek and quiet and kind and they're having this conversation where she's kind of frustrated with him because he's not standing up and fighting back and he's talking about how his kindness is strategic and necessary is what he says. He says I know you think that I'm weak, but actually my kindness is strategic and necessary. It's how I fight. I'm weak but actually my kindness is strategic and necessary. It's how I fight.

Priscilla: 31:02

I remember watching it in the theater and thinking that is so good for support to think about. We're not being kind because we're pushovers. We're not going to read your rude email and be kind back because we're idiots and we don't realize you're being rude. We're assuming positive intent because that is a strategy that we're going to use to help you understand that we're on your team. It's the way that we're fighting.

Priscilla: 31:26

Our kindness is strategic and necessary and I just love thinking about that in the context of support and being kind, because sometimes it can feel, if you're being kind, like you're just being a punching bag for an angry, rude person. But if you think about it less, like I'm just taking it in because that's what I'm paid to do to be punched by this customer. But instead, if you look at it like I am trying to get you on my side, I am trying to prove to you that this is going to be a good experience. My kindness to you is strategic and necessary. It's not me rolling over and letting you kick me in the face. So, yeah, I love that movie. You should definitely see it, and that part of it always gets me.

Megan: 32:08

Customer support homework.

Jordan: 32:09

I was going to say now I have to watch it again because just you saying that line I got like the goosebumps and like the weepy eyes again and I was like, oh, that was so good His whole monologue when he talks through.

Priscilla: 32:20

that is so good. I cannot watch it without crying and I just love it.

Jordan: 32:24

I just love it so much.

Priscilla: 32:25

Yep, it really is crying and I just love it. I just love it so much. Yep, it really is Okay. So the next thing is not getting defensive. I think sometimes, depending on how long you've been with a product or maybe how much of a hand you've had in building a product, it can be really easy to get defensive when someone has an issue with that product, and so it's really important to not let someone's frustration make you defensive. It's not worth taking it personally, if that makes sense.

Megan: 32:52

I think a good way to think about it is sometimes it's just not as deep as people want it to be Like it can be helpful to have a computer or a phone in between you in these moments when you're like, don't get defensive, because you can kind of take a step back and be like OK, Like don't get defensive, because you can kind of take a step back and be like OK, like this is just an email that is coming through the computer or this is just another person on the other side of the phone. I can take a breath. Like you said, it doesn't have to be like a personal attack on me. Yeah, this is just another issue of the day Like really keeping the angry comments or angry email, like keeping them in their place, like knowing where they fall on your priority list of the day.

Priscilla: 33:28

Yeah, and that kind of like goes back to like stepping outside and you know, looking at the sky and realizing there are bigger things than this one support, interaction and you still want to make sure that you're handling that with care, but you don't want to get to you in that personal way. So yeah, cause you can burn out that way you can.

Megan: 33:44

You know that's when you start to see like, yeah, because you can burn out that way you can. You know that's when you start to see like, oh, you get really anxious before answering emails or you leave work feeling really upset. I think the beauty of customer support is that it's not life or death situations you're dealing with most. Respond with empathy, respond to human to human, but it doesn't have to be such this immediate like oh my gosh, it has to happen right now and I'm not in the place to deal with this and this is hurting my feelings, or it can really cause you to spiral.

Priscilla: 34:16

Yeah, and I think it is important to remember that in most industries it's not life or death. In some cases it is more serious.

Megan: 34:24

Absolutely.

Priscilla: 34:24

So you do want to make sure that you're handling it with the level of care that it deserves, but you can handle it with care without taking it personally at the same time, and so you can still segment that out and say this is really important and this is. Maybe it is life or death, maybe it is something like if you do insurance support for an insurance company, like it might be something that's much more serious, but it still doesn't need to be personal to you. It doesn't need to be a personal attack and you don't have to take it that way. So I think it's just really important to keep that in mind when you're working with someone who's frustrated and it goes back to like remembering they have a story, there are other things that are causing them to be frustrated, and then I think it's really important, as leading a support team we kind of talked about this at the beginning of our talking about strategies but making sure that your team knows where that line is, where the line is that they can take it, and then making sure there is a line where they don't have to take it anymore, if that makes sense, so we can be respectful and kind and assume positive intent and all of these strategies, but there is a point where the customer can get too mean or rude or pointed or personal and you want to make sure your team has a way to step out of that situation to protect themselves.

Priscilla: 35:43

Does that make sense? And knowing where that line is for your whole team can be really, really necessary if you want to have people on your team for longer periods of time or else, like you were saying, they're going to burn out if they're constantly having to work with people that are calling them names and berating them, and so I do think there is a line that you can set, that you can bring up with the customer and say, hey, we're actually real people here and we're here to help you, and if this is how you're going to speak to us, we might not be able to continue this conversation because it's getting to a point now where you're unnecessarily rude. I think that's really important, to be really clear with your team where that line is, so they have the freedom to come to you as the leader and say I can't work with this person anymore and they don't feel any kind of shame around passing that off to a manager.

Megan: 36:33

Yeah, because I mean as many tips as we give out, and these are all awesome tips. There are times where it just doesn't work, where you can try every tip. You can provide remarkable support. You can take a break, you can call for backup, you can assume positive intent and still get to a place where it's not beneficial, and you do need to pass it off to someone and have those lines be communicated in a attacking way at someone on our team.

Priscilla: 37:09

I think it's pretty clear to everyone on the team that at that point they can call in Priscilla and say, hey, I need you to take this from here. This person has gotten rude and they're using, you know, profanity directed at me. And then I will come in like a mama bear and be like hey, this is not how you treat the people on my team. We're here for you, like we're all happy to help you with this. That's what we're here to do. We can't do it. If you're going to be rude and mean to us, you don't have to do that in order to get good support. So we actually have like terminology around that that we use with frustrated customers once they cross that line to make it really clear that if you're going to reach out to us in the future, please treat us with respect. We're real people and we're always going to treat you with respect. Treat us with respect. We're real people and we're always going to treat you with respect and there's no need to lose that.

Megan: 37:51

It's so beneficial to have that terminology written out before you have to deal with the customer as well.

Megan: 37:54

Because if you're trying to do that in the heat of the moment, even if you are ahead of a team coming in and taking it over for somebody on your team, there's still emotion that goes into it, because you're defensive of the person on your team or you feel you know this has escalated to a point where you feel like you're invested in it more than maybe you'd want to be, or it just is so helpful to have that terminology written out ahead of time so you can add it in and just be as like to the point as possible.

Priscilla: 38:20

Yeah, and so you're writing it originally at a place where you're not emotionally driven and then you might use it in a place where, emotionally, you know you're frustrated. But you can use this wording that you've already written out in a calm experience, a calm time, to do that.

Megan: 38:33

Takes the emotion out of it, for sure.

Priscilla: 38:35

I want to kind of end on a reminder that these kind of frustrated and angry customers give us the really awesome opportunity to flip their experiences over and give them a remarkable experience. I know there have been times where I have been frustrated and have reached out to a support team and have had a really good interaction, and when that happens, my loyalty is so much stronger, and so we're talking through these strategies. I think it can be hard, it can be against our nature sometimes to be like, oh, I'm going. I think it can be hard, it can be against our nature sometimes to be like, oh, I'm going to assume positive intent every time. It can be difficult, but the payoff for that is huge. If you can take someone who's frustrated and turn their situation around and give them a really good experience, you're gaining a customer probably for life.

Priscilla: 39:25

The loyalty there is huge, or can has the potential to be huge, and so it's important to really work through this with intention and not see it as, oh, this is going to be frustrating, I got to move this person out of the inbox just to move them on, but to really take it as kind of like a mission of okay, I want to change this person's opinion about support. I want this person to know this person's opinion about support. I want this person to know that I'm on their side. I want to make this person's day better because clearly it's been a rough day, if this is how they're reaching out to me, and so I just want to make sure that anyone listening to this who might be thinking like, oh gosh, and now I have to you know, I'm gonna have to work with angry customers it really has such a big opportunity to make that such a good experience for the customer reaching out.

Megan: 40:11

Yeah, it's a great way to reframe it in your head, because the reality is you will work with an angry customer at some point in customer support. There's no way around it. It's going to happen. But if you can approach it as, oh OK, now is my time. To work with an angry customer Like this is my challenge of the day, like how much can I turn this around, how much can I do for them to make this the best experience? It can become a fun challenge instead of a oh my gosh, what do I do? Here we go.

Priscilla: 40:40

It's a great opportunity to really strengthen your skills and make someone's day yeah.

Priscilla: 40:42

And if you're on a team that has these kinds of tools for you to use, you can feel a little bit more comfortable knowing that you're not going to get hung out to dry if it doesn't go well. If it ends up that you can't change their opinion Sometimes you can't and if that happens you're not going to be held responsible necessarily, but instead you have these tools to equip you to handle it well. And if you kind of have that freedom if it doesn't end up well, that at least you've tried and you've taken the steps that you need and now you can pull in someone else that can maybe help on their end or maybe the customer does move to a new product which is not the ideal situation, but sometimes that will happen and kind of knowing that you have these strategies in place that you tried kind of communicates to yourself that you tried what you could try, and sometimes it doesn't work, but you can kind of be confident in the work you did do, if that makes sense. So I hope that some of these strategies that we've talked about will help you to navigate the experiences that you're going to have in the future with frustrated customers.

Priscilla: 41:42

I hope that when you're in the middle of that email, you can remember to take a break, that you can remember to assume positive intent and to not respond when you're frustrated yourself, and hopefully this will allow you to flip those situations for your customers over and give them a really remarkable, wonderful experience. All right, well, it's time for Support in Real Life, which is our segment, where we talk about real support experiences from the real world, and so Jordan has a story to share with us today. What do you got, Jordan?

Jordan: 42:17

All right. So today I have another Reddit post and this person is asking for advice for dealing with customers that aren't really telling the truth. So the writer writes advice for dealing with customers that claim they have been calling for weeks and I know for a fact they have not. I'm the primary receptionist right now and fairly often I will get customers claiming they have left messages for weeks or days and I can look back at my records and not see a single message left. What are some tips to deal with them or things to say to diffuse the situation?

Priscilla: 42:52

Yeah, megan, do you have thoughts?

Megan: 42:54

Yeah, I was going to say it's okay to acknowledge it and then move on. Sometimes I see this in our support inbox and same thing. We can look and see there are no emails from them. But going back to assuming positive intent, maybe they wrote in under a different email. Maybe they say they've been calling for weeks but it is their partner or a family member who has been calling for them or calling to get the same thing, and so sometimes I think it's okay to just acknowledge it and say wow, I'm not seeing that on my end. I'm so sorry if we missed those. Let's get into it now on how I can help you, yeah.

Priscilla: 43:28

I think that it's kind of like taking their reality at face value. There's no reason to argue with them about whether they've been calling or whether they've been emailing, because what you want to do is solve the problem. And so what's the problem? Let's move past this disagreement we might have on whether they've been calling and calling for weeks or whether they haven't. But as a support specialist, our goal is to solve the problem, and so let's move on beyond that. So it's kind of like there's no reason to argue with them about that, even if you know that they haven't written in or they haven't emailed, I mean, or they haven't called. There's no reason to kind of get to the nuts and bolts of that, move past it and figure out what the issue is and kind of accept their reality in that situation, as long as it's not something that is related to the actual problem.

Megan: 44:13

Yeah, I think a lot of times when customers say that it's their way of communicating urgency with you Like I've been trying to solve this and I haven't gotten a solution, I think the best way to get around it is to just acknowledge it and then, like you said said, get to the solution, because that's what they're trying to communicate, is that they're trying to get there as fast as possible.

Priscilla: 44:31

Yeah, and acknowledging it allows you to, like you were saying, if it's their way of saying this is urgent, we can say, hey, yeah, it is urgent and we're going to take it with the same seriousness that you are bringing it with. We're going to take care of it for you. We're not going to get into the weeds about how many times you've called and all of that. That's not important. What's important is getting this sorted for you and getting it solved so that you understand that we care about you as a human being and more than just a customer. Jordan, can you read the last bit of her question again?

Jordan: 45:03

Yeah, they said what are some tips to deal with them or things to say to diffuse the situation. So I'm wondering if they're looking for, you know, maybe a phrase to say when someone's like I've left you a bunch of end, but I'm happy to help get this solved for you.

Megan: 45:29

Or to say I might have missed it. I think sometimes to take ownership of it. It goes a long way because it really doesn't matter. You can take ownership as long as you're like oh, I see all of those calls that we missed and I'm so sorry about that. I think you can just gloss over it and take ownership of. I'm not seeing that on my end, but I'm so sorry if we missed that from you. Let's handle it right now.

Priscilla: 45:50

Yeah. Or sometimes, when people say I emailed you, we'll get this in support. Sometimes They'll say I emailed you and I know didn't get a response back and I can see that I did respond to them. Sometimes I'll say something along the lines of I see that I sent a response at this time. I'm sorry if that didn't make it to you Kind of to say like I did send something, but I'm also respecting the reality that you've given me. That is, you didn't get a response and there's other things that could have happened. It's possible that the email didn't send, or that your email bounced or whatever it is, or maybe you went to spam and you just didn't see it.

Megan: 46:24

It just doesn't have to be anybody's fault. Like you know what. We're going to start from here and keep going. I think that's great.

Priscilla: 46:37

So remember to share your stories or questions with us by emailing us at happy to help, at buzzsproutcom, or by using the link in the show notes to text the show. You can send us your stories and questions that way and we will pick one to read on our next episode. So send those in, and that's it for today. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to leave us a review and follow us on Apple Podcasts or anywhere where you get your podcasts. Also, you can find us on Instagram at happytohelppod. Thanks for joining us today, megan, and thanks to everyone for listening. Now go make someone's day.