Navigating Heartbreak: A Personal Journey of Resilience and Self-Discovery

Peeling back the layers of heartbreak, we navigate a journey that's been etched in my personal history. It was a time of emotional chaos, a testament to resilience, and a profound lesson in self-discovery. As we unravel the complexities of heartbreak, we can't ignore the gravity of its impact and the far-reaching consequences. This episode is an honest account of my personal encounter with heartbreak and offers a fresh perspective on managing such emotional hardships.

The scars of heartbreak aren't just badges of a love lost but rather markers of lessons learned. They shape our character, enhance our resilience, and teach us to value quality over quantity in relationships. Hear about a heartfelt story of a relationship that didn't work out and the emotional and mental adjustments that were necessary to get past it. This episode will leave you with the understanding that the true essence of heartbreak is not about succumbing to someone else's control but about learning to rise against adversity. It's a sincere story of the humanizing event of heartbreak, its implications, and the respect it deserves.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:07

Welcome back to the Come On you Know podcast. I'm your host. I will forever be your host. This whole episode is about that. Today I want to talk about a very sensitive slash, prominent slash, it's a thing slash issue. I want to talk about heartbreak. So in my age group we've experienced it. No matter who you are, you have, I have.

Speaker 1: 0:48

I don't know why I keep addressing these serious topics, but I just want to, I guess. Well, maybe I don't. I keep. I solicit topics to talk about, I'll be honest, from peers and friends and whoever and whoever, and they always give me serious topics. No one says like, yeah, yeah, talk about clowns juggling in the latest comedy special on whatever your favorite streaming services. It's always some sensitive topics. Like Sorry, talk about the socioeconomic effects of who, why? Why you want to have fun. If you do that for work or if you have to keep track for professional reason or you just do for entertainment, first of all, if you do for entertainment, you'll mean but anyway, heartbreak.

Speaker 1: 1:54

Heartbreak is actually a fun topic because it's a very human topic and here at the Come On you know podcast we try to. We have a spotty co-host that he's like where's Waldo? He's here, he's there. I don't know where he is supposed to be here now You're like, yeah, I got stuff to do. I got to take the trash out, okay, but anyway. So, like that, that topic is very it's a very human topic, is something that has, or it has the potential to affect your entire life. It's a memory. Hold on to her meaning. You don't necessarily forget heartbreaks. You can forget happy times, but you really don't forget hard times. In a in a heartbreak is a hard time. So I want to talk about dealing with it, experiencing it. I know it's not a humorous topic, but who cares? You know why not? Let's dive in. So I'll speak about my experience, think about what I learned and how you can deal with it, because Every now and again I get people telling me that, hey, slightly a genius, you should be in some type of record book or some type. You should get some type of award, the type of trophy. Again, I don't need a trophy, it just a smile on your face. That that is my reward, you know, even though your teeth are yellow. But that being said, so, heartbreak. So I experienced heartbreak and I did not know I experienced it. So I was relationship, that that that I Thought I was in it to win it, but I was in it.

Speaker 1: 4:05

Long haul truck driver status, you know, going from coast to coast, um large-march type of deal, shot out to when I shout out to it. But alright, p Peewee, herman, I, I Thought I was in and it was long distance and you know what, she'll never listen to this so I can talk about it all I want. Yeah, like I was gonna be the one to move, do the, do the do just get, you know, go Build the life and plan and stuff, etc. Etc. And I Kind of did. I moved halfway because it was long distance. We continue to talk.

Speaker 1: 4:59

It was a weekend type of deal. I'll go there on a weekend and play family and, and I was, I was building a ring. It's okay, I'm gonna propose to this woman Because I thought that's what she wanted, because she would mention it, she would talk about it like marriage, this, that, whatever. Yeah, I could see that. So I'm trying to plant the seeds around everybody around me. I, kid and I was doing the best that I could do, working, doing that, and so I did.

Speaker 1: 5:46

I proposed, and Maybe a couple of days, so like when I proposed it was, it was. You know, it was fresh and new hot topic. So she wanted to show it off, like, yeah, I'm taking a couple of days later. So I took the day I Proposed on a weekend. I took the Monday off for work so I could stay because I figured, you know, it'd be a happy time. Sorry, I'm a human. So I have, like what is this? Gas bubbles and I had some dope like a shrimp salad, anyway.

Speaker 1: 6:36

So, like a day a couple of days later, I figured, you know, she would Wear the ring to work and show co-workers of all black. So she didn't. She didn't wear the ring to work and this was more or less a showy person. So I'm like, hey, you didn't wear your ring to work, was going with that. She's like, yeah, I didn't want to, I don't, I don't think you're the type of person that doesn't want to. Nonetheless, she's like, yeah, I'm like, well, what's what's the ad about? You know, don't, don't, am I? What is it? What's it about?

Speaker 1: 7:15

She's like, well, I kind of wish the rock was bigger and I'm like All types of records, all types of vehicle, like rubber burns. It was like, hey, what do you mean? The rock? The rock Was not small. It wasn't some like pee. We Herman that shot out to what RP pee? We heard me, but like, I'm like, hey, I took like a diamond class. I learned about the triple C's, color, cut, clarity, all of that. So I got like a. You know it's a very quality type of deal. And and she told me she's like, hey, I would have rather like a less clarity diamond that was bigger than Medium-sized. I'm like, well, this is not a small diamond. It's like well, it's so you don't Respect slash Value, quality Question mark. She's like, yeah, I'm like well, you gotta explain the end to me, so, anyway. So, and Shortly thereafter she said, hey, why don't?

Speaker 1: 8:34

And I will never forget this line because it was very, it was a very well stated line. She's like hey, I Don't love you enough to sustain a marriage. I'm like that is a very Like. There was some editors involved with that line. That's very, that's very good. I respect the English in that line, you know. And so I'm like okay, I gotcha, I got just like.

Speaker 1: 9:03

That was strange because, you know, previously in this entire relationship you were Kind of like the cheerleader for marriage. So once it became real, you're like well, I don't want to be real People of people, and I understand that. I'm one for Adjusting to your situation, so I'm not gonna be like oh what, 15 months ago you said this like. I'm not gonna hold you to it. If you change your mind, I get it. You know, we're not. We're not that, that's our goals. So, anyway, that was my heartbreak is like Bum, bum, bum Split, it's like. But I realized something, though, and we have to be real.

Speaker 1: 9:50

This is the come on, you know Podcasts like come on, you know let's, let's. We can be honest. Don't be afraid to be honest. I Don't think, well, no, I'm not gonna say I don't think so. I wasn't. My marriage wasn't her. The marriage that I proposed wasn't her. It was for the situation. And Don't, you don't like. I see you, I see you. I see you like, trying to like. I See you as an audience member or whatever you are, or Subscriber, or first-time listener. I don't know what I'm supposed to say. I see you trying to like dodge that title or what I'm saying. But that is a thing. That is a thing. And Don't, don't try to act like that's not a thing, like where this is we, we, we will be clear, we will be clear and we will be One hundo. Come on, you know it is what it is.

Speaker 1: 10:56

I was more so in love with the situation. So my heart was broken because the situation to me was broken. My situation was, you know, going back to where I'm from, but on blood, it was a person that I was familiar with. It's like, okay, roots, I could water some roots, and that's a reference to gardening, one of my hobbies, and we're gonna get into a, we're gonna, I'm gonna create a garden in mishaps and unmishaps episode. But I realize it like you know, you, you, when you step outside yourself and you see what's really going on, you, you know what's going on. You just don't want to address it or Just admit it or adhere to what the right thing to do is.

Speaker 1: 11:54

I was more so in love with the situations. Like, hey, I'm slightly young In love and I want to build something and this person is my catalyst and that's where it is. I want to get back to where I want to go back to Experses my catalyst I could build, I could build it, I could be involved, I could press forward and that's what it was. So my heartbreak when she pulled the plug on it, 90% of my heartbreak was because I didn't pull the plug on it and Don't you like get, don't give me the side-eye. We all know that's the thing. If the other person pulls the plug, a Lot of that is because you. It's like.

Speaker 1: 12:48

I'm not an ego person. I don't. I have. I have negative 10 egos, like a whatever, but it's still a gut punch. It still is a gut punch and that was a gut punch to me because I was building a situation around this person and we, we all do it man, woman, all of that. We build situations around people as as as much as we, you.

Speaker 1: 13:23

You can be a realist, idealist in Between whatever, whatever that will be real idealists, I don't know. But we all have a picture that we paint that the other person doesn't know about, and we are hesitant to admit what that picture is. Sometimes we do. Sometimes you know there's people that are Bad, bad, want this, but about you, give it to them, and that eyes are bigger than their stomach. That's another story, but we all have a picture. No one is walking out here blindly like I don't know what's going on. Whatever happens happens. People may say that, but they, they want certain things that happen.

Speaker 1: 14:06

Right, but once I experienced that when she pulled the plug, a lot of that was because I didn't pull the plugs like hmm, hmm, yeah. So she, she took an eraser On my canvas erase, erase, erase, erase, erase right side, right side, right side, right side, left side, left side, left side erased, erased, mad. You know, I'm over here, you know, combining oils, slapping, slapping. What do you call art paint? Oh, like mad greens, green number seven, don't tossing green number seven on as she's erasing it. But that was. That was a big deal, and especially because I was Assumably all and I was. I was assumably all and my the picture that I was painting. So this is what happened.

Speaker 1: 15:09

I Never dealt with heartbreak prior to that. I was always young. My relationships prior to that I Didn't have many was like high school. Then, after you know they're a little old, there's like in is in college. You know, girl, try to hit me with a car. So it's like dodging cars. But I was never that was my first Thinking seriously want to propose Building a ring, taking a diamond class. This is what I'm gonna do, this is what life's gonna be like, houses, you know all that stuff.

Speaker 1: 15:57

But so it affected. I didn't know and this is why I wanted to talk. I'm taking the wrong world to talk about this, but this is the it's like. This is the significant part how it affects you. It affects you, it affects it's. It's an heart issue, but it affects your brain. Our brains are, are. It's our. That's the cockpit Right. The heart can be the gas. If you will not a physician, but I'm smart I Did not realize how it would affect me emotionally.

Speaker 1: 16:44

I don't mean, and one that's, this is another, this is another. When I say emotional, that's another episode. So to me, emotional just means upset. Someone says, hey, dispersion is emotional. That just means they express being upset. But like, I Couldn't listen to certain music, like I've never experienced that before and I'm quite a regular dude, like you know, dirt, whatever, uppercuts, guns, video games, uh, ranch dressing, all that boots.

Speaker 1: 17:24

But I'm like, why can't I listen to this song? Can't listen to a song, I'm thinking about what I could have had and it affected me. And it was a very real experience. It wasn't something that happened just when I went to sleep or woke up, or you know, if the weather was too crazy. I'm like, oh man, I wish I was with her. Like no, this was like an everyday thing and and I was like man, like I couldn't even talk to certain people because it's like, yeah, your first name has the first letter of her first name, it was. It was really like that, so like that is a thing. That is when I realized it was a thing, and you know how I dealt with it.

Speaker 1: 18:17

I didn't, I didn't I let it overtake me and I mean I wasn't paralyzed. It still, I'm a very responsible person, so I just I did what I had to do, but I wasn't suited for managing it. If that sounds, if that you know what I mean, if you, if you know what I mean, like, come on, you know, like, how do you manage that? How do you manage that if you never manage that? Like experience is a thing. Like people that experience heartbreak all the time, they build up a heartbreak type of character, and that's what I noticed. Like I wasn't a heartbreak type of character. I was a never experienced heartbreak type of person, because I didn't. I was never in that. Uh, like I, I Like I experienced breakups, but not heartbreak.

Speaker 1: 19:19

That is a whole new realm. That's like level 10. That's like fighting the boss in the video game. It's like oh well, you do, you just do like, do like mad, mad. I don't know where, where did that hook come from? Like but a bump, but there's that.

Speaker 1: 19:43

So I couldn't listen to certain songs, I couldn't talk to certain people, I couldn't play it out in my mind because you, you could never. You can play things out of your mind, but it doesn't. And then you, you don't know what the other person is going to, you don't know the moves they're going to make. You can't, you can anticipate what they're going to do. But people are people. You may assume they're going to go right, because everything says they're going to go right. They go left. But anyway, dealing with heartbreak, I'm wiser now and I'm straight, 100% wiser now.

Speaker 1: 20:25

This is, this is how I think you should deal with heartbreak. First of all, at this age and I'm talking about folks my age, the Gen X is the greatest generation I'm renaming us. I'm renaming us. We see it coming. We see it coming and and we, for the most part, we tend to be more protective. I like talking to people my age and older. We're a little bit more protective, we. We know the possibilities, you know, of successful relationships that don't lead into heartbreak or or just whatever you know, not so serious relationships that don't lead to irritation. That could be, like you know, kind of a comparable, comparable, comparable, comparable, comparable, blee, comparable, blee synonymous. You know what I'm talking about. So, like we tend to like, what I notice is is a lot of people try to be mean to combat meanness, and that's not a thing you shouldn't.

Speaker 1: 21:48

You shouldn't do that Like you, don't be mean to me to make me thinking. You know, thinking you're going to make me, you know, like, like you, but anyway, so like we do that to try to not be a quote unquote victim of heartbreak. Heartbreak is not bad. It's not bad because you know what it means. It means you have a heart. It really means you have a heart.

Speaker 1: 22:16

I learned that I'm like at that point I did not know. When I experienced what I experienced, I did not know I had the ability to feel that way. I didn't know. It's not about controls. It's not like all this woman had control over me. It's learning yourself. It's learning how you react to adverse situations. There's no different than being in a car accident, being in a war, being in a you experience a sudden loss, extraordinary loss, extraordinary loss, something that happens to you that you don't expect that is a significant emotional event. Well, that is heartbreak. But all we have are other people. Heartbreak is almost the most. I think it's more or less like the most humanizing event. I guess I'm making the words don't care, but it's a thing.

Speaker 1: 23:37

How do you not experience heartbreak? That's what I'm leaning towards, because if you don't experience heartbreak, you don't value heart, you don't value people. This is how you deal with it. You don't. You go through it. You recognize it. You understand yourself, you understand your situation, you understand the other. Why is everything so serious? I'm trying not to be serious, trying to be unserious, like the opposite of serious, like mad, not serious. That's the thing.

Speaker 1: 24:18

My advice is like hey, meet somebody, talk to them, love them, get your heart broken, understand that situation, understand that person, understand that person's views, understand your views, understand what didn't fit, respect it, not the heartbreak, not if somebody did something crazy to you, like try to hit you with a car, like I experienced, but understand that they may have felt a certain way about being with you and you felt a certain way and maybe it didn't jive up or link up or sync up, and all of that. Once you respect it. It's like okay, okay, it's not about you, it's not about them, it's not about the situation, it's about all three. Once you could step out of that, it's like okay, okay, like it's.

Speaker 1: 25:26

I don't want to say it's less painful, because it shouldn't be less painful, because if you try to, if it becomes less painful to you, you're a psychopath. I don't care if you're a new listener or listener. I'm telling you that If it's less painful or if it doesn't feel, if it doesn't feel like anything, it feels like a, the unflavoured jello, than you're a psychopath and I'm charging you with that. But just respect it. Respect it and understand where it's coming from. All people. Once you've realized that people are people like, heartbreak is not so hard to deal with, because that's all we have. All we have is heartbreak, people, air and traffic. So I got that Get down.