Are the infinite choices on dating apps more of a curse than a blessing? We're tackling that provocative question, and more, in a lively discussion with a good friend of mine. We venture into the heart of the dating apps landscape, analyzing the impact of seemingly endless options on our attitudes and expectations. We'll also shed light on the disparities between male and female dating experiences, and the role societal norms play in shaping our approach to dating.
Let's face it, when it comes to dating apps, attractiveness matters. But it’s not just about how you look - how you articulate your thoughts is equally significant. We explore this, and more, as we head into the murky waters of dating expectations versus realizations. With a multitude of options, we often find ourselves making shallow investments and feeling ultimately dissatisfied. We encourage a sense of realism and honesty in navigating these platforms, emphasizing the importance of understanding and appreciating each other as individuals, not just potential matches. Buckle up, and let's challenge the status quo together.
Are the infinite choices on dating apps more of a curse than a blessing? We're tackling that provocative question, and more, in a lively discussion with a good friend of mine. We venture into the heart of the dating apps landscape, analyzing the impact of seemingly endless options on our attitudes and expectations. We'll also shed light on the disparities between male and female dating experiences, and the role societal norms play in shaping our approach to dating.
Let's face it, when it comes to dating apps, attractiveness matters. But it’s not just about how you look - how you articulate your thoughts is equally significant. We explore this, and more, as we head into the murky waters of dating expectations versus realizations. With a multitude of options, we often find ourselves making shallow investments and feeling ultimately dissatisfied. We encourage a sense of realism and honesty in navigating these platforms, emphasizing the importance of understanding and appreciating each other as individuals, not just potential matches. Buckle up, and let's challenge the status quo together.
Speaker 1:
I Love my theme song what is going on? How's it going? What are you getting into? How was your evening?
Speaker 1:
So I have a good friend. He's a pretty good dude. He's very easy to talk to, very smart, opinionated and just goes with the flow and sometimes he, he, he, he flows the flow. I don't know what that means, but we were talking today and he's like hey, man, we were talking about Dayton, like just in general, and he was spitting some stuff, I was spitting some stuff and we, we were merging collective thoughts. But that's what I want to talk about today. I want to talk about the like. Everyone Talks about it.
Speaker 1:
While it's a thing, it's like hey, what was your opinion on this and what do you think about this? And everybody, we all do the same thing. And it's like that's the. You know, come on, you know we, we know what we all do, we know what we all are trying to aim for.
Speaker 1:
But I want to kind of revisit that conversation that I had with this good friend of mine and and Just kind of spit some Some come on, you know, type of Philosophy, knowledge, hard facts, this and that it's my opinion, but it's kind of right and and he was asking me questions. I was asking him questions and we're pretty pretty average decent dudes and and we go through stuff we were just kind of talking about. It's like, hey, you experience my experience and I want to kind of capstone my my Thoughts on this because I'm right, it's crazy like I'm giving mad advice and mad, mad Experiences and mad what you should do for for free, just to make the world a better place, I guess. Anyways, so this is the basis he's. He is a Regular dude, I'm a regular dude, and what I mean by regular I mean like Nothing, cray, dece, a little bit better than decent jobs, careers, if you will smart, understand the world, understand our place in the world, understand when the world is, you know going towards, if you will, and just just like you know we live in a very, very, very decent place and Maneuvering, we're just Just doing it. So he asked me Well, we just talk. So it's like, hey, I tell him what I think, he tells me what he thinks and this and that. So I told him and I'm I'm letting you know, my audience, all one of you that this is how it goes.
Speaker 1:
So I Don't want to talk bad about the Dayton apps, but that is what we. We have no choice but to adhere to, right? So it's different factors, pictures and what you say, levels of attraction. But I told him Because this is what I think and I know it's the truth it's like hey, I Told him that. I said, hey, it's a little difference between you guys and gals. I think gals Pardon me, I had some good Korean chicken Mad good.
Speaker 1:
So I Would assume that we have different experiences, guys and gals, and I Would. I would think that that girls have like more options, and what I mean by more options is is a larger number of Guys or whatever, on the Dayton apps like hey, you know what's up, are you doing good blah? And then regular guys like myself, we may have a medium to low number of girls that we match mitt, match mitts, match myth that's a new word match myth, match with Right. And then, if you want to and I hate rating people because people like Souls, are beautiful, so you can't rate a soul, you really can't and if you agree with me, then you're right, if you don't, then you're wrong. But it's nothing.
Speaker 1:
Like this person was, I wasn't attracted to Um blah, blah. You didn't give that person a chance. That's a thing, and and that's why this is kind of weird. But people in prison same Sexual or like Like people in prison are like, oh, you know you, I Like the way you soaked up today because it's a longevity thing and that's reality you will become. Once you learn and understand Something, you, you will become attracted to it. But anyway, so, like, here's a deal, I'm just gonna straight up, spit it, spit it out. I, I believe and you can prove me wrong, let me know in the, in the comments, whenever I throw it out up I believe that women on in in these Daytona thingies have more of a perceived sense of options.
Speaker 1:
And and guys, unless they're like Some you know, super attractive Brad Piddish, I'm doing pull-ups in every, in every picture type dude, we have a mediocre reign. So we're like, hey, we're gonna get, we're gonna try to shoot for the best of what we can get Right now. So to better illustrate that, I would assume, like Women that are, it's all about attractiveness. And then, hey, if you can articulate words To an extent, that comes secondary and everyone acts like they want that as a primary factor. But it's like, hey, if you could speak, or you could talk or you could articulate a thought I want that first, but that is a semi. I've learned my lesson down the road thing and I want that first. But we all do the same thing. It's like, hey, how attractive are you? And then, what's the secondary? Can you tie a shoe? You know what I mean. Can you? Can you Do you put periods at the end of your sentence. So we want to act like we don't do that, but everyone does that. So this is my thought.
Speaker 1:
My thought is that women with a lot of or perceived, a lot of perceived Daytona options Can go through those like hey, how you doing? Oh, you didn't put a period Next, hey, you know how's it going. Oh, he didn't say how's it going to me Next. And guys are like what up? And she's like what up, is that okay? Well, I'll talk to her for a while, like let's, we'll see. You know where the magic happens, if you will. And so I Think the women are going for the guys that it's like, if they think that they are highly attractive, can piece together a sentence, maybe a joke or two, maybe I'm not totally ignoring you. So, okay, I'll go for this.
Speaker 1:
And those dudes also have a Don't want to say a plethora, but like they have options too. So I think it's the people with a lot of options are going towards each other and and they're not realizing that, they're not realizing their situation, they don't go a little deeper and it's not like hope. I'm not saying like hey, this person is, I know, this person is attractive, so I'm not gonna talk to them because I know they're talking to other people. Everybody has to go for what they want to go for.
Speaker 1:
But I think that is the problem. It's like they're going everyone, like the people with the options are going for each other and then Calling each other like whatevs, and then the people with the mediocre options are kind of paying for it. So it's like, hey, I know we, hey, you, you, you have a haircut in your picture, so you, you're probably talking to 17 girls. It's like, well, I know for a fact, you, I mean you are attractive girl, you are an attractive female, so you have to have 17 times five dudes talking to you. So what's the happy medium here?
Speaker 1:
And that was the crux of my conversation With my Highly intelligent friend and, and, and that's a problem. So he's like hey, he was talking to me about, like different dating apps. I'm like I don't think it's the apps, because it's the, the people. So, same pool of people talking to the same pool of people, everyone wants to Assume that what they are attracted to is attracted to them. And I'm not gonna talk about people not want to get to know each other, because that's kind of that. That is a implied thing. It's like everyone likes the shiny piece of candy until it rinds their teeth right, and then it's like, oh, all candy is bad. Well, you did you not know that? Yeah, but that that was my, that philosophy, if you will. It's like I, I can identify a problem.
Speaker 1:
What the solution is is Just realization. Realization, it's like we're all on this checkerboard and I'm talking about I'm not saying me, but just people that are dating each other, the same cities and stuff like that. You're on this checkerboard and you have a it's a, it's a. I Don't say everyone does this, but People look for the bad and Instead of looking for what they can grow with and maybe they don't know what they can grow with so it's like, oh, this person's Smile is crooked and it's a false sense of I could find someone with a nice smile and it's nice and happy and blah, blah, blah with that person. You aren't the only person looking for that other person. So nine times out of ten, or maybe ten times out of ten, that person is probably with another person that recognized that way before you.
Speaker 1:
So I'm not saying there's no hope out there, it's just that, dating with a sense of realism, this is my advice be a human. Be a human. Don't don't say, oh, you know what this person is, this political party, so I know I'm not gonna get along with them. It's like They'll when you, if you get married, stay married for a long time and die. You're not gonna be thinking About a political party. You're not gonna be, oh man, I'm glad I married this political party. You know you're gonna be like, hey, I'm glad I married this human that breathed like me, sweats like me, that Feet smells like mine does, or not. They eat food like me. You're not going to be like, oh, I'm so glad I married this person in this profession, because that doesn't matter at the end of the day.
Speaker 1:
What matters at the end of the day is you hold hands, you love that, your your minutes with this person. It's, it's peaceful, or even if it's turbulent, it's. It's not turbulent in a false sense. It's like hey, like I don't know, I woke up at 6am, this person woke up at 6.05. I'm gonna, that's it's like. No, it's like this person woke up, woke up, woke up, woke up with me. That's what matters at the end of the day, because we all have the same fate. You know what I mean. We all have the same fate.
Speaker 1:
Once you realize that, once you put that in your wallet or your purse or you know, you, you put it, you create a CD out of that and get some interest, some fixed interest, you you realize it's like, hey, nothing really else matters except your minutes. And once you realize that you allow yourself to like people say this, younger people like be vulnerable, but what that means is just being honest. It means being honest and that is the thing. So you don't want to like. My advice is don't look for the bad, don't think you have to look or highlight the good. Be okay with the comfortable, be okay with someone that is like how do I explain it? Like, understanding is really about understanding and not 100%.
Speaker 1:
It's about trying to understand. You know, if someone has, if you like them, they have good. If they, you know, good banter. They talk to you and you could talk to them and you could communicate and you like communication and you can communicate that, you like that and they get it, then that's, that's cool. But you know, maybe their, their, their breath stinks. It's like man. It smells like this. This smells like the sneakers that I threw out. They took them out of the trash because they were psych psychables, put them back on my porch and then was like, yeah, what is going on? Like it's. It's complicated, but it's simple.
Speaker 1:
Once you start hunting for the negative, you you get where you hunt. You highlight the negative, and then you got to realize that when you do that, the other person may not be dumb. They, they may know you do that and they may do that themselves, but I don't know. So here's some key points in dating, because I think I've going down rabbit holes and I'm not a rabbit. But if you think you like someone, like them, try to like them, don't try to dislike them. Look at them, you know. Try to understand them. Try to don't put some checklist against them and I'm talking to men and women and whatever.
Speaker 1:
Don't, don't hold them against some checklist, and people may call it expectations, but how do you, how do you have expectations for someone and you may not even have them for yourself, like I'm a very self improvement type of person, so I'm my biggest critic and I would never, I never would hold that against someone. Like, oh, what, you don't Do this because I, I I'm very understanding, so it's almost a balance in beam. But do that, do that and you'll, you'll be happier. It's like hey, and Then when you do that, you'll see, because a lot of times he was a well, you know this person Talking to me and I didn't know their intent. And you don't have to know the intent yet, you don't have to be psychic. But if you Like, look at the person and understand them and understand their position in the world, understand your position in the world, talk to them about it. You'll get it, you'll see what they're doing.
Speaker 1:
There's no like don't pull out a checklist and say, hey, well, were you married three times and how come? It didn't work. It's like You're talking, you're asking me that and you're single too. So it doesn't even matter if you were married or not married. You are in the same predicament as I am. That's the first step to understanding. So you got to get there like try to doggy paddle through the minutia and you may have a better outcome or not. But it's a little bit of work involved.
Speaker 1:
But I don't want to talk about like how it is nowadays. And because people are people, we evolve, we create standards and Sometimes they they are, are not even standards, they're just checklist. Get rid of the checklist and embrace life, because you may find that you were getting in your own way and that's the thing. And I love it when I hear like, oh, there's no good people out there, blah, blah, blah. So it's like well, you're out here, are you not a good person? There's a Zillion people like you'd. I think the same thing. So that is a very I need external Energy and external stuff To satisfy me type of mentality. Sometimes you just have to build your own Road, you have to build your own destiny. And when you Can't pick a contractor because you think Everybody is this or that and not experienced that, so I'm not gonna pick a contractor, then you're not gonna build your own destiny. You're just gonna be Sitting in a trailer figuring out, figuring out why you bought a hide on the project, but I Don't even know what I said. But I know it was. It's probably, it's pretty dope probably.
Speaker 1:
But People, don't be mean. If you're dating, don't be mean. Don't. Don't look for the negative, don't Automatically be mean, thinking that that's gonna Make you successful. No one, no one was successful by being mean. They became mean when they became successful.
Speaker 1:
But don't like, don't go out on dates talking about oh you, you're this and blah, blah, blah and thinking that is gonna Help you. It's not. No one wants to deal with that men, women, etc. Already above. But yeah, that's the main thing I think. I think that's that is like a key Thing. Just don't be mean. You don't have to be overly nice, but you don't have to be overly mean because that's, that's not very enticing. So women, men, don't like you to be mean because we we already go through enough. So someone that we are interested in being mean is a turnoff. Men, women don't like to feel insecure.
Speaker 1:
So, whether that's first, first date, 30 years of marriage, why would they want to talk to someone that doesn't give them some type of Security or some type of consistency and that's it. That's it not saying the consistency needs to be overwhelmingly positive. But people want people that they can figure out and know and Kind of adhere to their general characteristics for a bit of being comfortable, and that's all. That's all we are, we. We are human beings that want to know what tomorrow brings, because we don't know what the next day brings. And that's, that's the thing.
Speaker 1:
So, whether it's Dayton, whether it's work, whether it's Hobbies, we kind of all do the same thing. And then, when we're looking for love or looking for companionship, we try to beef up quote-unquote standards, because it's pretty important to us. But we all do the same thing. So it's like, come on, you know, you Know so. So, dudes, if you go on a first date, one don't talk about guns to Look. Look at the Woman as a person, as a person. You know the whole movements, what she's talking about, if she's nervous, if she's happy, if she's Jittery, if she's looking at the phone. We, we, we kind of know women do the same things like, hey, don't hold a dude to a standard like, all, will he provide me security? Don't, don't tag him with a Task, just sit back and See if he's looking at you, see if he's seeing you. Men do the same thing. See if they're seeing you. It's like, hey, I could, I can tell she's looking at my shirt sleeve and my shirt sleeve has a couple of wrinkles in it. And she concludes that I don't know how to iron but is not taken in consideration that I had my shirt sleeve. I had my shirt at work not hanging up and I was excited to see a Etc, etc. But we could do it. We could do it.
Speaker 1:
Just Everyone look at people as people. When you start doing that, the game will change. Look at the person that you are quote-unquote interested in or want to meet, or a Talking to look at. Look at them as a person instead of as Asset a man, a woman, a Whatevs, a person that's trying to Take me for money or take me for sex or take me for Something. Look at, look at him as a person, and then you get there. You, you figure it out, and then you'll Develop your own path, and then your path will either cross or not, but you'll have that in your pocket. So there it is, you know. So I got.
