Unlocking the Intricacies of Female and Male Friendships: A Journey Through Differences and Similarities

Ever wondered why your best friend suddenly stops talking after a squabble? Or why your buddy seems unfazed by your harsh banter? We're cracking open the mystery of friendships, navigating the intriguing contrasts between how men and women relate, resolve disputes and manage these precious bonds. Be prepared to learn the art of balancing preservation of feelings while fostering honesty, and discover the impact of pettiness on bonds, and when it's crucial to bridge gaps.

Brace yourself for a deep dive into the core of friendships in the second part of our discussion. We're not just talking about the differences; we're picking apart similarities too. Get set to appreciate that respect and understanding supersede disparities in food choices, fitness preferences, sex, race, and even gender. Tune in for a roller coaster ride of personal anecdotes, sprinkled with humor, and packed with life-altering lessons. Let's walk together on this enlightening journey exploring the realm of friendships.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:08

What up? Welcome back to the Come On, you Know podcast. I'm your host with the most. So, um, a little. On cloud nine, my jets won. We beat the Eagles Eagles. You should have done better, but we did better and we won. So how about that? Go home, go home, back to Philadelphia, southern New Jersey or wherever Philadelphia is. Bye, bye, not fly Eagles, fly Bye, bye, eagles, bye. But there's that. So, yeah, I have a little bit of energy to do a show, do an epi. Yeah, my jets won against one of, if not the best team in the NFL. I know a lot of. You don't care, but I care and my boys, my gang green, my the green line, took them out at home. What a high. We did it. We just won a Super Bowl. We're done, we're done, we're done. Season is over. Championship game was won tonight. We're done, we're good. We're good. We have rings. We have rings now. We're good, anyway.

Speaker 1: 1:39

So I wanted to talk about, uh, I had a decent day, well, with this win, it was over the top. But I wanted to talk about the difference, like friendship. I know I made an episode about friendship before. This is a. This is different. The differences in friendship. I don't. I don't like to get into the men and women thing and but women Like with women friendships and men with men friendships is different. So I wanted to talk about that, got a little insight on that topic or or that being a thing and and yeah, that I thought about it. Like my you know, my friends, my besties I have. I have a female friend that is one of my besties ever. I was in her wedding and Of course, I have male besties, and Men and women can be friends. But I think there is a different dynamic between men being men friends and women being friends with women, and it's it's from observation in life, you know, and I'm I don't I don't like to toot my own horn, but I'm whatever the genius, whatever qualifies you to be a genius, I'm pretty sure qualify to be a genius, and so I Just want to talk about my observations and talk about my perspective and what it is. So, anyway, it's about how Women are Friends with women and men are friends with men, the differences. So I am an expert on how men are being friends with men, so I think here's his one huge difference. So men are more Harsh with each other, and harsh is subjective because people Can translate Statements, opinions, differently. But you know, I have a best friend and and everything I do if it's not over the top or if it's not Meeting Whatever his mark, he's like all your punk, your bill, or blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1: 4:25

It's like, yeah, just because I use dish soap instead of Licking my plate and putting it, you know, in a dishwasher, oh, you're punk, you didn't do this. It's like, well, pardon me, pardon me. It's like, okay, I Get it. And I, and I believe I believe like, well, you know, we would just bread that way and I'm different generation, a little traditional, back in a day. But it's like, hey, you didn't wake up with your boots on your, you know, laced up on your feet automatically, so you're punk. But I don't think it. It works that way. But I understand what he's saying and that's my friend and and love him to death and that's how it works.

Speaker 1: 5:14

And I believe that women on the, on the opposite, and they kind of give the opposite type of criticism and advice, they may say, oh yeah, you do look good in this, or everything is Is good, when you really don't. They won't degrade you, but they'll give you maybe like a false Positive acknowledgement of something and I don't want to say truth, but Like I don't want to say like men are more truthful, because I can guarantee a lot of people will disagree with me. But I think we we don't like we associate what women do with women. So like if my boy is like, oh man, you look good in that, like he's not gonna say that, because that's what a woman would do, like would tell her friend like hey, you look great in that. Right, we're like, oh like, hey, you look dumb, and but it's okay, let's go out anyway. And a woman is like, hey, you look fabulous, when she doesn't really look fabulous.

Speaker 1: 6:32

So I think the relationship between like women and women as friends and men and men as friends, it's different and I think it's about more so protecting feelings and kind of dodging accountability, if that makes sense. Like I think a girl as a friend will not, will withhold telling her friend if she's not, you know, I mean good friends will just kind of tell you whatever, whenever, but I think they will spare her feelings. Girl as a friend will spare her girlfriend's feelings just to kind of keep it going. And then a dude as a friend is not concerned about feelings but they're concerned about actions Like hey, you look dumb, change, let's go out and just to kind of keep things in motion. But that's just the dynamic I believe to be. I could be wrong, but I'm really wrong. We can go with that, but I think, I mean, it's always room for improvement in both relationships.

Speaker 1: 7:51

You know, I think a male bestie to another male bestie can keep it in the holster a little bit, just like you know not blow things up immediately. And I, you know I am a you can accuse me of doing it Like I talk crap to my boys all the time. Like that's how we start off immediately on the phone. It's like yo, man, shut up. It's like I called you. Are you gonna talk to me? In the first thing you say shut up. That's just how we roll. And you know, female and female, I believe they could. The first thing they say doesn't have to be hey, girl, hey, the sky is, you know, blue and we could blow up a bus like, hey, what are you going through? Let's, you know, put a stake in a grass, start from here and move forward. There's that. So that is my perspective. What else? Like I believe that, like I don't want to be.

Speaker 1: 9:05

I'm not trying to be insulting to any of the like situations or any of the scenarios that I mentioned, like women being best friends with women and men being best friends with women. It's not at all like a criticizing session, it's just an observation. But whatever, I think also, what I believe and you can tell me if I'm wrong is that if a woman fights with her best friend, which is a woman, I think they can be a little bit more petty than men. Like men us, my best friends we fight, but it'll be over Once we fight. That is the solution to whatever is going on. We fight by the bang, it's done. Then we're still friends. Or if we don't talk for weeks, when we talk, it doesn't even matter, we didn't skip a beat.

Speaker 1: 10:09

I believe women do not. They take the indirect route. Like, hey, we're fighting, so we're fighting, that's where we stand, that is where we stand. We are fighting, so we are fighting. So that's it, not fighting to get it over with, but this is our place, this is our predicament, this is where we are, so we're fighting, and I think that is the main difference. Like, hey, I can, unless a friend that I'm just done with, like you know I cut the cord like cable, like unless that friend is like completely erased out of my life, I can talk to him like we didn't miss a beat. I don't think women can do that and you can tell me otherwise. If that's not the truth, I'm making up crap. If I'm just delusional which I really am, I'm only delusional about Jets wins Just let me know.

Speaker 1: 11:35

But I think that women kind of hold on to hey, we're not talking, so we're not talking. That's our status. We're not talking. Hey, barbara and I had a fight. That's how it is when I talk it. So guys are just, you know, we'll say we'll think hey, you know, I didn't talk to my boy in a couple of weeks. Whatever blah blah he calls, I call. So hey, what's up, man, what's up? Just tap in blah blah, we catch up blah, blah. And I think that is very common with guys and it's very uncommon with females.

Speaker 1: 12:19

I think if a female has not talked to a friend in a while, that's the status they're in. They're not talking. So what else? How do you make up? And what is like, how petty is how petty, what is too petty in regards to a friendship and fight in and stuff like that. So how do you make up With dudes? We don't make up, we, just we. We like straight up, like you know, call and like yo, what's up? That was the last six months, dude. You know, I had a flat tire. I won a couple of games in Madden, rained a couple of times, boom, I was like okay, same thing happened to me. I think women make up in subtle, more subtle ways, like hey, I'll send, like, send you a link to an Instagram snippet. I don't know TikTok posts and I don't know show like pictures of I got my nails done and the orange was on point. I think that's the difference and it's a difference. Neither one is is better or worse, but it's just a difference and I think that's the thing.

Speaker 1: 13:51

And you know what I wanted to make, mention to like if males and females can be friends. My answer is yes. Like I have a best friend she's a female and like we've talked about life a lot and we've gone through life and we talked about dating and we talked about professional life and what we've gone through. We talked about like racism, whatever is pick, picket, move is. We've lived in different cities and talked about that and when you really value somebody as a person. It doesn't matter what, what like external differences they have. Rather it's sex, race, food choices, physical fitness choices, I don't know, I'm just making up stuff, but it doesn't Like. Once you hit that maturity level and respect and understand a person for who they are and what they are, you can definitely maintain like a friendship. That gets the thing and you can value or respect that friendship. But, yeah, but, and I've learned, I've learned a lot through my friend that's a female and that is how I'm able to talk about, you know, friend, you know girls being friends with girls and guys being friends with guys, like Like she's taught me a lot as well, like you just soak up a lot through experiences, but yeah, so Back to the topic at hand.

Speaker 1: 15:34

Oh, and I want to talk about when is petty, when is being petty too petty as far as making up being friends, like we kind of all know, come on, you know podcast, like come on, you know, you know, you know when petty is too petty. It's like when you know what, when your friends being too petty is, when you know when, like you know your friends action, if your friend does a certain thing to to Try to make up with you after you had an altercation or or you know, a long time apart, you've been estranged for some dumb reason and but you still don't Utilize that as a bridge to make up, that's being too petty. So what I'm saying is, if your friend is a type that you know your beef in, or you have an issue and and they like Say certain things To you directly but it's not addressing the issue, but you know they're trying to open up the door because they they aren't the one to to, you know to bridge that, you know to kind of put out the fire, and then you you're just like, well, whatever, I know that's how that person is, but I'm gonna still shop for early Christmas gifts then that's being petty, and being petty can go too far when you are damaging the relationship. So it's like, hey, I know what I need to do To help my friend, kind of like come back to me or Help me bridge this gap or whatever. And you just kind of you're like, whatever, I don't care, I'm just gonna Continue to watch my soap operas or whatever comes on TV. Now, although my friend is reaching out, I'm gonna get out like I'm gonna Literally do what I need to do, like no pottery, I'm gonna go out of my way to, to, to ignore my friend or do something Just contentious that doesn't help the progression of the situation. So, like we know, we know what being petty is about and I definitely know because I am Super petty. You call me Tom Richard petty, the third Straight up. I am the mayor of Pettyville and I will continue to be.

Speaker 1: 18:25

But we all know, and it's not you know, if it's not helpful to the friendship and If it's taken away from the friendship, then let's just be in petty and we don't. We know, you know, we know and all that, but anyway, so back to the subject hand. So I'm not saying it's a difference. I'm not saying men being best friends with with men are better, women being best friends with women Better, but we just have our differences. And I think the point is, if you have a friend that is a Like that's the opposite sex of you, you can learn from that and listen and See how they manage their friendships, because you have to manage friendships.

Speaker 1: 19:17

Friendships are a gift. They're not just a given. We do, especially if you get a little bit older, like I am, and things aren't Easily maintained, and they're not a given and they can go away in an instant. But you know, I think there is a significant difference between women being friends with women, men being friends with men. But just because there's a difference, it doesn't mean it's different. If that, if that makes sense. Like we all know, women know how to manage their friendships, men know how to manage their friendships. Just because they're different doesn't mean you need to tap into the other side to see if you could Make it better. Just manage it better, like that's the cake. So so, um, okay, the jets one and that's all I got.