Zombie Evasion Tactics and Disaster Survival for the Clever and Crafty

Strap yourself in for an epic brain-feast of survival tips and chuckles as we tackle the mother of all hypotheticals: a zombie apocalypse. If you've ever wondered how to transform your local supercenter into a zombie-proof fortress while keeping a semblance of sanity, this is the episode you can't afford to miss. I'll regale you with laugh-out-loud tales from the lighter side of life, like my brother's kitchen catastrophe, before we hunker down to business. We're talking slow zombies, fast zombies, and the kind that might just outrun Usain Bolt post-transformation. I'm dishing out actionable strategies to ensure you're the leader of the pack when society's fabric unravels.

This apocalyptic rollercoaster doesn't stop at zombie evasion; we're covering all disaster bases. Imagine the end of the world as we know it – now picture yourself thriving, not just surviving, with a little help from your friends. I'm not just serving up my top-shelf survival plan; I'm throwing down the gauntlet, challenging you to bring your best post-apocalyptic game plans to the table. Whether it's an extraterrestrial showdown or bracing for a natural disaster, tune in for insights on building community, mental toughness, and yes – even where to set up the most crucial stronghold gym. So gather your crew and let's ensure we're prepped for anything but boredom!

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

Oh, that's all this me every time. Welcome back To the come on, you know, podcast. I haven't done it, you know, while, get off my back. It's been a month, leave me alone. I've got stuff going on. Anyway, it's good to be back, though, well, for this episode.

Speaker 1: 0:20

So it's, it's crazy because I'm happy when I sit down and do an episode, but in between time it's like, yeah, I'll do one tomorrow, then tomorrow turns into Well, tomorrow turns into tomorrow, but you know, it turns into next Thursday. Who, the next Thursday turns into February. So it's like, whatevs, sit down, do it, knock it out, have fun, anyway. So I wanted to, oh, you know what. Okay, before I talk about this. So, hey, I'm gonna, I'm gonna call this segment of the show Stories bout little bro. Let me tell you about my me, tell you about a little bro. Real quick, this, this, this lives in my head. Free, a little Frankenstein head, a Frankenstein head bro. It's like, hey, man, long day of work, gonna go home, eat some steaks, make a baked potato. And he's like, man, I'm a baker, potatoes gonna take, you know, 40 minutes and whatevs, but I want to do at these steaks I gotta cook. Like, yeah, this sounds like good idea. So it's a good dinner, you know, that's so like he does it next day. I'm talking to him. He's like man, I had that steak. I had a potato to put sour cream on the cheese, bacon bits I'm like Bacon bits. It's like, yeah, I'm like why didn't you use your bacon, cuz I would have took to. Like you bake the potato for 40 minutes. You're gonna just put. He's like oh, yeah, yeah. So anyway, lives rent free in my head. That's me talk, bring you future stories about him anyway.

Speaker 1: 2:33

So so Subject I want to talk about is a little controversial, and it's not controversial because it's controversial, controversial because people really do have opposing opinions about this, and I want to. I Want well, it's not my opinion, but I Would like to disclose and talk to you about what I would do. So I want to talk about if we encounter a zombie attack, and I mean like Nationwide or worldwide, rather. So the thing is about zombie attacks. You know we've all seen movies, blah, blah, blah. You know we we all have or maybe we don't, some people do, some people don't have a plan of what we would do or what we think we would do right. So I want to talk to you about what I think about it, what I would do and how I would, you know, try to survive, because, you know, escaping a zombie apocalypse To me it requires, like a strategic approach, so things I would focus on, and I would love to hear what you would focus on or how you would do it. Or, if you think my idea is stupid, or if it's ingenious, which it will be so what would I do in a zombie attack?

Speaker 1: 4:01

And, and so here's the thing too. So I'm so to a co-worker and this, this, I say this topic is controversial because I've had arguments with my friends about it, with my best friends about it. Like they, they had ideas of what they would do and they were different than mine. And we went, we went to war about it, but I talked, I talked to a Co-worker about this and he had a good point. He's like, hey, what type of zombies are you talking about? Are you talking about Walking dead zombies? We're takes them, like you know, 30 minutes to walk 10 feet. Or you're talking about World War Z zombies with their clothes, and speed is ridiculous. It's like Cheetah speed, you know. They're really fast and they attack in like super packs, like World War Z was crazy. Those zombies are out of control. But you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1: 5:04

So that was a very good question, and so what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna say I'm going to meet in the middle, and what I mean by meeting in the middle is mix it up a little bit. So, however fast that zombie could move when that person was not a zombie, like they keep that same you know, speed or physique, not the same mental capacity, because they're zombies. But if that zombie was a track star I mean when they were alive, then for my scenario, then they're a track star. If they were, you know, out of shape, bum dude not catching me, so I'm going to go with that. Whatever they were when they were not a zombie, then I'm going to say, for my scenario, that's how they were. So this is what I would do.

Speaker 1: 6:10

So I think, like I said, it's a strategic approach, as is surviving anything. And you could, you know, take the zombies out of the situation and say a quake or asteroid hitting or something where it's chaos, you know, but and something that will require focus on long term survival, or immediate, obviously, but then long term survival. So my plan, so I'm big on, so I well, you know, you have those people that are preppers and they're like dude, all I do is the zombies. I have everything else. I'm good to go, I'm ready, you know, I just need the disaster to happen.

Speaker 1: 7:05

Then you have those folks, that kind of 100% shoot from the hips, like I don't know, I don't know what's going on, so I'll just react to it as it happens. I don't know if I'd be too scared, all that blah blah. And then you have those folks in the middle. I think I'm a middle person. Some things I'll shoot, I'll shoot from the hip with, and some things I will probably have a plan in my head, but I would definitely be able to react immediately to what's in front of me, react to contact. I would definitely be able to do that and I would probably develop my plan as I go. So you can call that shooting from the hip, but it's kind of like rifling from the hip, like I have, you know, long distance in my sight, but I don't know, I don't know what I'm talking about. Anyway, this is what I would do.

Speaker 1: 7:58

I would try to definitely stay informed. What's going on. I would assume like, slowly but surely, all our communications would just go down somehow, right, and this is fun. This is a fun topic, you know. You can see what type of person you are about just describing your plan, but I would definitely try to stay informed. God bless those folks that would stay hunkered down and try to keep us informed, because that's another and that is you got to remember like people deliberately would have to stay doing whatever job they're doing while there's a zombie attack. They have family, they would probably be trying to get out of dodge as well, but whatever. But however, however, whatever, I need more cold sending pigeons. I would try to stay informed, so I would definitely try to figure out my shelter situation. I'm going to hunker down Now.

Speaker 1: 8:57

This is my friend and I differ. My friend is like hey, he'd stay in his house. He's sitting. My prepper, you know, guns, this, that. And I'm like no man, there's no zombie movie or show that you've ever seen where they stayed in one spot. No one stays in one spot because you're going to run out of resources in that spot and then the zombies made just like if you stay in your house, they're going to just crowd around your house and just be there and you can't kill all of them, you're going to have to move. I would move.

Speaker 1: 9:30

So I try to find like some type of like defensible location, something with like like one entrance. You know what I mean. So the zombies can't just like coming out of the sewers on me underground, all of that. And I would be asking for too much if I didn't want any windows. But I kind of want windows so I could see what's going on. But then I would try to like patrol those windows and all of that. Like well, if there's. If there's no, I don't want any windows. Like I would try to go to a facility that has multiple levels and I would prefer no windows on the ground level, if that makes sense. But that's asking for Christmas gift something with some like reinforced doors and windows and stuff like that, but basically Limited entry points, just in case the zombies kind of Develop some type of intelligence and they remember how to open doors and something that I could easily get to at, like the entry point. So some way I could easily get to if it becomes penetrated. Right, and this is something I said to my co-worker. I definitely would like.

Speaker 1: 10:39

I Want other people around me, you know. Of course I would Try to get my family together, but I would definitely want and other folks with with their families. But people like I would try to formulate a team, because you work better together, then alone yeah, I mean Would work well alone. You know what I mean. If you gather people, they may have certain skills that may become useful. I mean someone may be a medical person, someone may be I don't know a professional Brick Mason. You know what I'm saying. But you want somebody. You want, you want people with skills that you could use, preferably when you're trying to survive, because I'm talking, I'm not talking just fighting the zombies, I'm talking about After that, when you got to keep the lights on, you know if somebody steps on a nail, you need some definitely medical person, right, someone that can I Don't know know how to get clean water.

Speaker 1: 11:52

So all of that I mean, which I would know, but you know. So I would try to definitely your provisions. I try to stock food and water best I could, but I would try to do that while I'm finding my shelter location. So I've always said, hey, I and everyone fights me on this I I say, hey, I would haul Taylor to a Walmart and like, hey, everyone will be doing that. So are you sure? You don't know, because, like my friend said, he would hunker down in his house. So I'm like you don't know if People would have the same mentality as you and just want to hunker down in their house. So the Walmart's may be empty because people may just be afraid to go to a big open air like a Walmart.

Speaker 1: 12:37

So when I'm talking about a Walmart, I'm talking about bringing my team to a Walmart, setting up a defense, and then it goes hand in hand. When I said, hey, I would try to like, stay in the know somehow, stay up on communications, you know, preferably from a reliable source, but who knows? But so I would try to Do these things like In advance, meaning I know it's about to go down. I'll pull my team together, convinced him like, hey, stuff is going down, let's head to a Walmart. You know, hope it's not a 24 hour one, hope it's a closed one, break-in, set up defense. Let's go from there. So, and I picked the Walmart because you, you have provisions.

Speaker 1: 13:26

Normally Walmart's in the south have weapons and tools and, yeah, I definitely gas up my truck first thing, try to get some. I Would try to be ahead of the game as much as possible. If not, I'm shooting from the hit. I'll shoot from the hit, definitely, you know I, when I'm gathering my team, hopefully my team would have a means of transportation along with mine. So I'm gassed up and it has to be reliable. And then I would also well, if I'm in a Walmart, I have bikes, so some type of like silent transportation just in case I have to maneuver around the zombies. I'm assuming that they are like sound sensitive. They could hear you. I think I'm getting from the shows and the movies and all that. They can hear you. They will probably hear my truck coming from a mile away and they'd be chasing the truck.

Speaker 1: 14:30

And when I'm saying this, it's like, yeah, I'd be trying to kill the zombies and stuff like that, but I'm not going to spend all my time trying to kill all the zombies, because I'm assuming that I would definitely completely be outnumbered and there will probably be more zombies. Then I have the capacity for killing, you know, to reach my limit, and then I'd be hungry and tired and trying to gather my team, anyway, so, whatever. So, being in this Walmart, if I was in a Walmart, I would have a sustainable, like you know, provisions of water source but, as I stated, it would run out. And I'm talking, you know, weeks, what it was if I'm in Walmart, maybe months, but all along, you know, I'm trying to figure out what's going on. So I have my team and you know we will let people in if they seem trustworthy and not trying to take over, because everyone's at that time like probably going to be fighting for resources. It'll shift. It'll shift from the immediate shock of it's a zombie thing going on actions on contact people kill the zombies just trying to get to a zombie free, integral transition into like hey, like some type of like sustainable living, right, we got to wake up and eat and figure out stuff on the daily and we have to do other things. We have to, we have to relearn how to live instead of just fighting zombies, right? So I definitely like fortified my Walmart somehow. So that would.

Speaker 1: 16:09

That would entail me probably going out on like night missions and get more vehicles, trying to find a better vehicles and stacking them up in front of my fortified Walmart and then, like you know, the team that I have like kind of talking to them about like this is crazy, right, this sounds like a legitimate thing because in my brain. I'm just thinking Walmart, so all the things I could do with the war. So it's fortifying this shelter. I have my resources that I'm coming up with a plan. So that's what I mean by I'm kind of half and half, like I'll shoot from the hip, but I'll also have have a plan. Right, I'm figuring out how to live and then I'll come up with the like a long term strategy. That's when you got to think about where the zombies aren't. You know what I mean. But so I'd fortify my Walmart. I'll set up, you know, the more deliberate it becomes, I'll set up traps for zombies.

Speaker 1: 17:13

And you know, if I have a decent person on my team, maybe previously engineered, I don't know, military person or something like that, somebody that has some type of skills that could help identify who has what type of skills and employ them efficiently. And then, like you know, you got to have redundancy. You got to have, hey, if someone is a medical person, I would have them try to teach someone else what they know quickly, just in case they go you know what I mean Like they go down some type of redundancy, but anyway, so I would try to work on like communications while I'm fortifying Walmart. See if the like? That was my first point, but I will continue. I will continue to try to work on communicating with outside person, outside people outside outside I can't say outside outside people See what's going on. I would continue. I would have a communications person say, hey, this is your everyday job. If you can't do anything else, what else? Like whatever skills I need because, like and I'm fast forward in like months now, like I'm in this Walmart for months already Because you know I see myself being successful with defending it, knocking out zombies, trying to do everything that I could do to be non detectable to the zombies.

Speaker 1: 18:46

I guess if that means like wiping zombie guts on my face while I go, try to find an abandoned car to drive it and for the fire, you know what I mean. Like stuff like that. I definitely try to meet my team or whoever I'm with. I would try to like try to not be so removed from the past life we had. So you know, if you work out, I set up some gym equipment in Walmart. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1: 19:21

Work out, just try to stay mentally in the game, because when you put people in predicaments where they just have to survive, they tend to get down because maybe six months ago they weren't in that situation. So six months ago they were on a couch playing video games. So it's a whole new way of living and they may get depressed. So you got to stay mentally fit because there's dangers out. You know what I mean. But so I would try to, once I'm settled with my team and we have everything locked down and we have a little routine, security routines, checking for the ZOM heads. You know, I don't know why I just said ZOM heads but I just made up a new, don't? You know? Nobody's still at ZOM heads. You know we have a little routine.

Speaker 1: 20:17

I would start incrementally going out further, further distances, walking where I went, coming back just to try to, you know, have contact with any other survivors and stuff like that. And I would definitely and I would do that one because I, you know, I would want to see if there's other survivors too, because I would definitely have an evacuation plan, while I would have to because we're going to run out of resources at Walmart anyway. So I would be, day by day, developing my evacuation plan. Yo, I'm really good at this. How do I get? Maybe I watch too many movies, or maybe I'm just smart, but I definitely have and so and so I would. I would also be mindful of other folks doing the same thing and eventually trying, you know, finding my fortified Walmart or whatever.

Speaker 1: 21:22

I'm saying Walmart, but something like that that already has a lot of provisions. I don't have to go hunt for my food every day and then dodge zombies. 7-eleven yeah, if it's a 7-Eleven, then we're not talking about months, we're talking about weeks. Right, but 7-Eleven is smart because I'd have a fuel source. But I would only have a fuel source, you know, as long as the fuel pumps are working. So that's neither here nor there.

Speaker 1: 21:52

But I definitely have evacuation plan, a bug out plan, which would include a bug out bag. That'd be first thing. I'd always have that with me, because who knows what will happen to Walmart? It may not even be the zombies, a pipe might bust and a Walmart may explode, so we may have to roll out. So I'd always have my get out of dodge fast bag with me and every day, as I'm like going out trying to find routes that are clear, clear zombies, not a lot of abandoned vehicles I'd plan those routes. I would mark it and say, hey, this route is clear up until mile 6 or whatever, and then which I would know I would I know any main roads would probably be horrible. So I'd do my best to avoid main roads and what I would assume to be highly populated areas and all of that. So you know, because a highly populated is a probably be highly populated zombie areas at that point. But so, yeah, and I'd definitely try to keep my team going mentally, like I said earlier, like try to try to reach back to that normal life we had somehow some way. If I could hook up some video games, if I could hook up I don't know a popcorn making machine, I do that, but I definitely support my team.

Speaker 1: 23:26

I would definitely invite others in if they seem trustworthy because, like you know, we've all seen the movies where they let a group in and a group just wants to take over there. That always seems stupid to me because it's like I'm not gonna. Why are you gonna try to fight me? Because the end result of a fight could be you killing me and I'll just turn into a zombie, or vice versa, cuz I'm not gonna be the one that gets killed. I tell you that, but like vice versa, right, so it's like you have to be mindful of not make. I know people are selfish and blah blah, but you got to be lot. To me, logic wins in the end. People can be selfish here for five minutes, not think through, but you can't be completely selfish to think that you can take over somebody's domain easily, kill them. They turn into zombies. So you got a double kill them, which causes you to use whatever tools or mechanisms you use twice. You know I mean. So it's like I think TV gets that wrong.

Speaker 1: 24:31

I think if there was a zombie joint, I think the zombies will probably be all the recent dead people and you know some. Some people now get caught. So that would that would make new zombies. But I don't think it'd be a lot of. I think it'd be a lot of hey, let me in and we need help. These zombies are on our tail. But I don't think it'll be a lot of people like, hey, let me in, and then they come in and we're taking it over. We're gonna tie you up.

Speaker 1: 25:02

It's up like the movie, say cuz. It's like realistically, there's enough resources for everyone. We just got to get through the zombies. You know what I mean. So it's like if you have a good solid group of folks. I think they would get together and then take over a Walmart. And you're not taking over a Walmart, you're just getting past the zombies and securing that location, right. So I don't know if you, if you are a fan of the movies and how they think it'd go down and you want to go, get me, let's battle, let's do it, leave it in the comments or whatever. Whatever I have available, come at me.

Speaker 1: 25:47

But I think my plan, although it is it's descriptive, yet not detailed, meaning like I'm, you know I'm not saying hey, I'd go to the Walmart on 17th and, and you know whatever, 17th and 4th Street and my bug out bag would have like candy bars and a water purification pan-held system, and I'm not saying like what I would exactly have, which I think that would be more of a that's.

Speaker 1: 26:32

You could get into discussions about that stuff, you know, because people will be like, well, why wouldn't you have dehydrated food? It's like because this is an emergency. I don't know where I could find dehydrated food, you know, I mean unless I'll have a whole bunch of canned goods in my bag. No, you wouldn't, because you couldn't carry it and I've never seen you work out my life, so just trying to be like reasonable, and I'm saying this like you can remove zombie and, you know, replace it with any natural disaster or I don't know, if aliens attack, what would you do, you know? Would you wait for a government response or would you, you know, find the nearest palm shelter and set up and think you'd survive? I don't know so, but I have a very yeah, like my plan is pretty good, is better than yours, so that's all I have to say. But uh, so that.