join us this week as we discuss that time an iguana tagged along to the pub, we also tackle the darker side of nature, questioning the intent behind orcas' seemingly playful yet deadly behavior with their prey. Is this a simple survival tactic or are they being massive dicks?
We compare these animal behaviors to the power plays in human society, from the office to the prison yard, and ponder the possibility of a truly selfless act.
join us this week as we discuss that time an iguana tagged along to the pub, we also tackle the darker side of nature, questioning the intent behind orcas' seemingly playful yet deadly behavior with their prey. Is this a simple survival tactic or are they being massive dicks?
We compare these animal behaviors to the power plays in human society, from the office to the prison yard, and ponder the possibility of a truly selfless act.
I've also eaten um vegan sausage rolls. Are you ashamed? I'm not that it's meant to be a monster hit for the famous chairs.
Speaker 2:I promise you, the president has a big step, but I'm telling you now, and not an RMA beat now. I didn't want to say this in front of you, but he will go right to the very top, right to the very top. If that is not a great tip, that's his job. Hello, hello, mr Maz, how are you doing?
Speaker 1:I'm alright, son, I'm about what four jeans in. Yeah a few A little bit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that was a statement. Well, you saw your question mark at the end of that. No, I'm just saying sozled. Hey, what about? I was thinking. The other day I came in I had a night out with a wax night out the other weekend I didn't know about this. Honestly, do you know, when you're at somewhere where, like I, could have left within an hour because I wasn't having the best time, but you just sort of drink through it, Were you above it? I always think I'm above everything, so that's not a really good gauge for me.
Speaker 1:Do you know what I think when you're in London, though I think I don't think you feel like above it there, though.
Speaker 2:No, not in London.
Speaker 1:I feel like you're like, ooh, I better not upset the London folk. Yeah, I want to see what's on train.
Speaker 2:Because I'm quite a confrontational man. When I get there, I just want to be part of it. London's a great place. Honestly, if you don't live in London, that's why I don't live there, because if I lived there it would be boring to me. I thought about living there a few times, but if I well, like we were talking about showditch if a week won't leave, or that guy I remember I told you he had an iguana with him in the fucking smoking area. It's too much yeah, or the way like a fedora.
Speaker 1:The thing is to elaborate on the iguana point. That's such a faff. If you think about it in terms of what's motivating you for the return on your time and money, it ain't worth it.
Speaker 2:I just think you're just a monumental bellend Like that. Iguana didn't want to be in fucking showditch at 12 o'clock, like in the smoking area as well. No.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's honestly. Ironically, he was probably vegan.
Speaker 2:Why did they let him in? If somebody come up to a pub with a guana on the shoulder up here, they'd be like why take that guana on first? Do you know?
Speaker 1:what it is. There's a trend these days of cats being on leads in pubs.
Speaker 2:We saw it, didn't we? What's?
Speaker 1:the pattern yeah we saw that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, my miss is what keeps wanting me to take the cat out on a lead ramp.
Speaker 1:Just the context.
Speaker 2:I don't keep the cat indoors, but I have to while we live here because next door's got six cats and four of them have got cat heads. Two of them have got fleas Full blown cat heads. Yeah, they're horrendous. Yeah, it's like Vietnam out there when you look at it. They've all got missing ears and all sorts.
Speaker 1:Did Vietnam have lots of hate?
Speaker 2:Yeah, from my recollection of it, it did. Well, that's not Well either way, I'm saying it doesn't have to have that specific disease, but what I'm saying is You're saying it was chaos, it's chaos.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, but I looked into that.
Speaker 2:Led Zeppelin would play it in the background, and they were like, oh, there they are.
Speaker 1:But if you was like, what the fuck are you talking about?
Speaker 2:What I'm trying to say is I have to keep. What am I trying to say? Actually, I'm trying to keep a cat indoors. If you said it's like this is a sin, I would never. All right, I would never bring my cat out, so anyway, I didn't want to be. Yeah, I would never take my cat out, so anyway, I don't want to go. I'm going to bring it to the pub on a lead.
Speaker 1:No, now you see my reservations about that, which I think about a lot, is that, for whatever reason, if that cat goes off the lead, your cat is gone forever.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah it's gone.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that is far too great a risk.
Speaker 2:Also, they don't walk naturally on a lead. They're all like low to the ground, like as if to say, well, they got on my back, yeah. That would stress me out massively, and also I just think it's for you and it's just to show up Like let's get to the truth of it, it's you being a dick. No, you're right, you're right.
Speaker 1:You're right, you're personally being a dick. Yeah, yeah, all right. Well, I've got started on you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm wearing wicker gold hair?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and what's wrong with you, mate? I've always hated that, yeah.
Speaker 1:I hate it. Look at this one my mum got me this T-shirt? No, but the thing is is like what if there's a small dog there that hates other small animals, you know which?
Speaker 2:is probably yeah, yeah, yeah, it's quite high and it's on a lead, so it can't get away. I don't like anything about it. Nah, it's awful. I've seen somebody walk a rabbit once on a lead, you know, and.
Speaker 1:I thought that was odd. See, that is to a greyhound, that's dinner.
Speaker 2:Yeah, 100% wool 20. Yeah, I'm not sure any dog is like brilliant. Some of these brought me a rabbit on a site, a site hound.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it is. That's what they're bred for is to chase rabbits.
Speaker 2:Well, there you go, yeah, and they're quite fast, I imagine greyhounds, aren't they yeah?
Speaker 1:People don't say they're up like a basset hound.
Speaker 2:No, humans are the worst, we're just the worst with animals. They dress it up as like a kid or like I'd say Killer Whales are worse. You think Killer?
Speaker 1:Whales are worse than humans. I would Okay, look, if you took like the worst humans versus the worst killer whale, I'd say probably the humans are worse. But if you took as a percentage, okay, yeah, I was gonna say GDPR, but I don't know what that means. Okay, Someone in finance.
Speaker 1:Don't say it then Someone in finance will know what I mean. But I would say that, okay, so let's say like 1% or 3% of humans are absolute cunts, like with animals and so on. Right, yeah, okay, I would say at least 60% of orcas are cunts Because they mess around with seals like they play with them, like cats with the mouse.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but they're animals, aren't they? Cats play with mice. They're just exactly the same. They're like the cats play with mice, yeah, but the outcome's still the same. They're still cunts, yeah, but it's not. It's cunts to us, but to them like yeah, but you can make that a case for the humans See.
Speaker 2:I've seen Killer Whales. I've seen a thing on Killer Whales Me and my friend was watching this the other day Holly and they Can specifically eat the like you see, the liver or the kidney of a shark, like the bite out, like almost like a surgical removal of it. Hmm, and I was like that's crazy. How do they know to do that?
Speaker 1:Yeah, but that doesn't change the outcome for the shark. They're still missing a liver. They're not going on. It's part of their nature. Um, that's still a bastard move.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So I don't think you're really kind of seeing, I just don't see animals as being like you know that sort of motive? No, yeah, but like when it like see they're not doing it to be dick, so they, yeah, but you can say that for humans though. No, I disagree. No, yeah, but the thing about like like cats playing with mice before they kill it, that is a dick move.
Speaker 2:It's not really, it is.
Speaker 1:They're not otherwise if it wasn't a dick moves. They're just eating below, like and have a kind of a level of remorse.
Speaker 2:I don't think of that mouse as a thing. That's a sentient being like it's. It's a thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sorry arguments falling apart because you obviously not so well. No, but I'm no, I'm saying that both of us don't know, but you're sorry.
Speaker 2:I'm wrong.
Speaker 1:Both of us don't know, but I'm incorrect. Okay, there's no need to shout if you, if you feel that you're right, there's no need to shout over me. Then is there? Just let me talk.
Speaker 2:Sorry.
Speaker 1:But when we're here, I'm sorry, but the trans wokies, but what we're saying? Oh, we're on about cats or something right, but Because they're sort of Nobby, behavior is sort of inherent to them. Yeah, that doesn't mean that it's not nobby behavior, um.
Speaker 2:I suppose, sir I don't know if I agree you heard, it here first, people he's.
Speaker 1:He's just said he's supposed so.
Speaker 2:No, I just thought I like going son Go. They've all, but they all do it there. Not all humans do it, mm-hmm, but all cats do it with makes, every single one. How can you?
Speaker 1:Kind of make a different argument for you, because you can say for those humans that that's just part of their nature. Do you know what I mean? I suppose, sir.
Speaker 1:Yeah that's all I'm gonna give you. That's the point I'm trying to make, son. It doesn't change the outcome for the thing that's getting mulled. No, but all rips apart, but is a but also. But the, the orca Say, flipping up a seal up and down, like until it's like bones break, or like even doing it like cuz they could take one bite of it it's dead. But they don't. Yeah, they play with it. Yeah because they enjoy that. There's no, there's no. Their prolonging the death and they're and they're intelligent enough to me.
Speaker 2:I don't think they're intelligent to think I'm upset in this seal, I'm just enjoying. No, I think they think this seals there for me. They're very single-minded. I think you're wrong. Like the praying mantis doesn't eat the, it's made.
Speaker 1:It doesn't have to. Mm-hmm, yeah, but it doesn't mean it's not a can Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2:I do. The outcome is awful. See, this is what I'm saying. The outcome is not very nice. I agree with you. Yeah, but I don't think it's malice Lee, I don't know if I would say that it's nature is malice.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's not, it's not nice because if you think in, like, if you've watched any one of them, louis, through dogs, like they're in a prison and they're like, they're like they just beat up the weakest one, right? Yeah, I'm not gonna do any pressure, don't worry you give me a.
Speaker 2:really really, I'm really wanted to do it.
Speaker 1:What's the code? Do you know the code? Okay, I've got it out my system now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what would we, for us, say about them?
Speaker 1:Roy Keane, steal me off this right yeah but they that you hear that like. So it's a very, very Formulayic structure in prison that you see over and over. Right, okay, just let me. Okay, I got face twitching yeah okay, so everyone just takes a minute, but they, they just go. I don't know. It's just kind of what we do in prison. Yeah, they go. We beat up on the weakest in mate right, which, if you look at jobs, people tend to think about an apprentice. Okay, people mug that they are tartan pain.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Think about that a long way yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's a less physically brutal, but the same System is in place of the of the kind of perceived to be weakest in mate. Yes, yeah, to kind of put this through a senior, a system of sort of hazing, and the same thing could be said in prison, like so where they got, they beat up the the new person comes in, unless they have Previously sort of acquired credibility.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like you, sonny, oh, like yeah.
Speaker 1:No, no, but they've already fought this for their strike.
Speaker 2:It's chocolate. I went to prison.
Speaker 1:I can't imagine people are gonna be like yes.
Speaker 2:I know that's a really Early 2000s UFC reference, but you know I'm saying but yeah, like as in, he's on his stripes, I'm a soldier goes in there.
Speaker 1:Yes, not for sure, but, as in, they have proved themselves in other ways, right, okay, whereas if you get someone who's perceived to be a bit of a dweeb, they're like mate, you got to get some rounds in yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. So I'm saying is like through, the people in prison is like that, although their behavior is cunty and it's really bad for the person it being inflicted upon, it's it's still part of the nature of the people in there, because it's it's repeated. It's not like these are one-off scenarios. They are repeated and repeated, and repeated. Just who I'm saying?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I do. But to go back to your earlier point, yeah, so you. What you're saying is Regardless of the intention of the animal, its behavior is a boron.
Speaker 1:Is that right? No, I'm not quite saying that. The intention. I'm saying that part of their intent, is it like part of their nature is to seek to be a Massacism on okay or so what you could say sadism.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm not sorry. Masochism, Sadism I don't know the difference between two.
Speaker 1:So sadism, like it's masochism when you do it on yourself. Right sadism when you do it on some someone else sadism right. So they have sadistic, like, kind of like behaviors. Yeah right, there'll be an anthropologist listening since going what.
Speaker 2:I don't think any other. Yes, that's a good point I was gonna say.
Speaker 1:The first thing is they just switched off and just went. But basically I but, but it doesn't change the fact that they are Sadistic behaviors. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, so you put your more focusing on outcome rather than right intention in my opinion. Okay, I'm not saying that's what you're doing. Yeah, I'm just saying that's what I'm getting from my nature. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, to end what we were talking about. When you say about Orcas and killer whales are in that, I just don't think they're in there. They're thinking right. I think you're giving them too much credit.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'll pose oppose another set of ideas, right? So like it's something that I've thought about is like if someone said that whole argument around like selfless deeds, they go all like as in, there's no such thing as it. Because Selfless deed? Because someone gets pleasure from it.
Speaker 2:You ever okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I've thought that that is bullshit because more charitable, but I know you're on about yeah, okay, let's say that you give someone a lift when it really goes out of your way and you give them a lift, and but the thing is that it makes you feel good because you know that you've done an act of altruism. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Now People say, well, there's no such thing as a. There's a physical, philosophical point of view, that there's no such thing as a Selfless act. Okay, but on the other part of that, if someone did something really evil, they would say that's evil. But if you, naturally, or if you do things that make you feel good, then you are a good person. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's well, I think I know what you mean.
Speaker 1:So what you're saying is if you feel good, if you're naturally like, if, if you are willing to say, do bits of generosity and altruism, because it makes you feel good.
Speaker 2:Yeah then you are a good person. So if you do things bad, but but that makes you feel good for being bad, you're a terrible person.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, well, that's yeah that's because of what I'm saying. Yeah, okay, but so if we go back to the orcas, yeah, again you're.
Speaker 2:You're giving them a personality and I'm not giving them a personality.
Speaker 1:But but well, animals do have. People want to reduce their character so they can feel more justified in kind of harming and eating maybe that's what I'm doing.
Speaker 2:Maybe, because do animals have separate personalities?
Speaker 1:Absolutely in that way if dogs do which they do, which I agree they do and cats do, yeah, definitely, yeah, how do you? How do not saying definitely? But how would you know that a goat doesn't?
Speaker 2:to me From when I've seen the cats and dogs acts. It's only a degree of the same personality. Pushed your different limits.
Speaker 1:Repeat that for me.
Speaker 2:So if somebody had the same personality but they were in a different scenario. Mm-hmm like, let's say, a dog had the same personality, yeah, but it lived with a really kind owner and they had the best time. Yeah, and then the same person I live with a terrible owner. It would act in the same way but to a different degree of. Yeah, it's scenario, yeah, and that's why I think animals like I could. I'm not saying I'm writing that sense, but like some animals might be just dicks, and I don't think they are.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't think they are.
Speaker 1:Which one is it?
Speaker 2:No, I think you, I just think the the don't think like an hour level.
Speaker 1:But don't you think like as in if you had enough humans, though I don't know whether people listening to this are like fuck this, but I'm sure they're fine with it. Sorry, yeah, like, but it's an. If you had the orcas or whatever, we go back to them. I'm picking out them because they they like cats, they play with their, they they enjoy the fact that the that they're prey they all do yes, of escape they all do, or some of them do. It's very commonly seen.
Speaker 2:Okay, so they've got a very similar personality. I was saying so if they're like, if you're saying they're all different or they've all got different personalities?
Speaker 1:Yeah, but they all I mean humans all have different personalities, but they all like to eat, they all like to sleep.
Speaker 2:Yeah, fair. Okay yeah, it's not a victory point.
Speaker 1:I just, I'm like, I'm well no, but it's just sort of seems to be dawn. It seems to be dawning on you.
Speaker 2:No, you're not, you're backing it what I'm saying, because you're saying that the majority of orcas play with their food in that way. So they're all. They're all got a similar personality.
Speaker 1:They've all got the same proclivity. They don't have the same personalities. Okay, yeah, right.
Speaker 2:That doesn't mean that they're not cunts. They're not outwardly being cunts is what I'm trying to say.
Speaker 1:I don't think either of us would know that.
Speaker 2:No, well, yeah, that's certainly my opinion. Then, yeah, yeah, which is what this podcast is. I don't think they are. I don't, I don't, I don't. I'm saying that I don't think they think in the same way that we do.
Speaker 1:No, but there are different species, yeah. So yeah, they wouldn't. Yeah, but that doesn't mean they're not being cunts, then are they? They're not being mean for the sake of being mean, they might be, because if they, if they literally they get evolved from generation to generation, like is in, because the if they killed animals like quick and painless, if they developed a style to be able to do that, then you kind of go okay, well, there's an argument to be made, but then they're not very intelligent enough to do that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, which they are. Well, if they are. They are, and I'm happy to be wrong about it, but dolphins and like orcas are, like, really intelligent. How intelligent are they, though, really?
Speaker 2:intelligent. Do we measure it by also?
Speaker 1:well by the animal kingdom. Yeah but they they look they look right, I've started talking. Yeah, but they what would?
Speaker 2:Michael Cairns say about it? What would Michael Cairns say about the orcas?
Speaker 1:Hello, brian, she's grandad. That's not my muckl cane anyway, right, that's. That's more like my muckl cane.
Speaker 2:I only told you to throw that seal once? Why are you doing the impression which one, let's say Michael Cairns, was talking about orcas?
Speaker 1:I only said you could let Willie out of his cage, right, okay, yeah right?
Speaker 2:And what would Michael Cairns say about orcas? You know that's the job Cairns. You know he broke the seal, that's his job. But they're like they're going to hunt and carry. This is C words. How would Louis throw? How would Louis throw asking orcas if the seal was alright? Do you feel okay about your abuse? Are you okay?
Speaker 1:Are you alright with this sort of level of abuse? And they went. Do you know?
Speaker 2:what I'm willing to admit defeat on this point Because I've played devil's advocate for a long time, which is my way of saying. I might be wrong, but I'm going to back up that I was only playing.
Speaker 1:It was only a joke. I had an argument, but it was all a joke.
Speaker 2:Why are you taking it so seriously? Yeah, well yeah. I don't know. I think maybe I look at animals for rose dinty glasses. To be honest, you're like a mum. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can see that, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:You're, you're Hello are you okay? Yeah, speak like that. Aside that, you told me a story once of where you're mum. Basically, you were walking past two blokes knocking the shit out of each other in hall. Yeah yeah, and your mum, being a mum as she was, she was like oh, should we ask them if they're alright?
Speaker 2:She did as well. Yeah, mate, they were throwing hair makers at drunken hair makers, so it wasn't even good, it was horrendous. And she went by and she was like oh, do you want to go see if they're alright? No, no, I do not want to go see if they're alright. You fucking psychopath, what are you talking about? She just oh, she just wanted everyone to be happy.
Speaker 1:It's. There's something about mums like not really being street yeah.
Speaker 2:Incredible once I went. Yeah, I don't know why is that generation of mums? I?
Speaker 1:thought about it like my mum would be horrendous drug dealer. Yeah she'd want to make sure if everyone's right yeah if everyone's like I thought it this week giving it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so right, so in the lockdown. Yeah, I was living back at home and we were watching this documentary called like. It was like Britain's most hated woman, and part of it was sensationalist nonsense and the other part of it there was a bit of truth to it. This woman sort of shirking the system, right, and she basically I can't remember what town it was, it was one of those, it was just one of those sort of fairly rural towns and she basically she was scamming the council like she she, basically she was she was selling tickets to her third child's birth.
Speaker 2:What I don't know. That's what.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, that's where we got even the people on love Island would be like mate, you want to. Honestly, this is bad taste. They're like you don't want to sell yourself for this, so she was selling tickets to having a third child. Yeah, To the best. We can watch it later.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah, we will, but yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:In fact her like agent guy, he was like Khyber.
Speaker 2:He's your agent.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he was the disgusting human being he was. There was a goal hanger involved. He's even worse. He was. He was so much worse.
Speaker 2:I've looked for a phrase goal hanger. By the way that I've coined that Because you have coined that and you've mentioned it so many times. It's the first time I'm referencing it.
Speaker 1:It's basically a synonym for Clout Chaser, yeah exactly.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, soulshire, the SoulShire of the group. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But basically you were going hanging.
Speaker 1:But basically she got her taxis paid for to wherever she needed to go, because she claimed that she got anxiety getting the bus. Oh, fuck off, right, but God. And now the problem is that I sort of sound like a sort of Brexit propaganda leaf saying stuff like this yeah me, and you saying fuck off, really. Yeah, it's sort of like we're daily male frontmen. Yeah, yeah, but we are lefties and we're like we can't have this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly yeah.
Speaker 1:And what was funny was my mum once. Then she went oh no, that's terrible that the council would do that, and I felt like I was like Piers Morgan or Jeremy Carlin. I was like mum, shut up. I'm like what are you? I was like she is running a scam. Yeah, I was like she is scamming the fuck out of everyone.
Speaker 2:She's blatantly scamming everybody.
Speaker 1:She is just a parasite. Yeah, like there's nothing uplifting about this whole scenario. There's a goalhanger, one end there's her selling tickets to her birth and there's also your piece of shit. Yeah, yeah, like.
Speaker 2:I don't want to come off as too judgmental here, but I'll absolutely double down on what I'm saying. Your piece of shit for doing that. Yeah, I don't think there's any qualms with that I don't think I'm out of 10 about saying that People also like, so a big thing is like.
Speaker 1:I've heard a lot of people say that. I don't want to be judgmental.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we were all trying to qualify what we're saying now.
Speaker 1:Really, it can be used interchangeably with discerning Okay. You could just say I don't want to be discerning, but that woman is a piece of shit, that's fine.
Speaker 2:What's the definition of discerning?
Speaker 1:Like being able to kind of look at a situation and kind of.
Speaker 2:Make a judgment on it.
Speaker 1:Being like being perceptive around something basically.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:So if you oh, no.
Speaker 2:You don't want to be discerning.
Speaker 1:I know that, but that's what I'm saying. It's like, but people use judgment instead. It's like a negative thing.
Speaker 2:Oh sorry, yeah, yeah, okay yeah.
Speaker 1:But another funny one is that my mum has, like I've seen her have like tradesmen around the house and she's like you're not going to charge me too much money like that and I'm like I know this is sort of radio, but I'm holding my forehead in my hands.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I'm just like mum Jack is visibly like anguished. I'm like mum.
Speaker 1:You can't. It's what's it.
Speaker 2:You can't behave like that around people that are charging you by the hour. Yeah, because they will stand and talk to you for 45 minutes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it would just say well, what if he says yes, I will.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, what are you going to do about it?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm just like mum. You're a fucking idiot. Bless her. Do you know what I mean Like? But as in, I know that my mum has like, whatever it is, her skills. She's got other skills.
Speaker 2:No, I was just saying she's got great skills and other. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:But in those areas she'd, If she was on the wire, she'd be wiped out in the first 20 minutes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, She'd be like whoa, you know.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:I gave them a buy one, get one free, like with their drugs.
Speaker 2:My mum would be like erm. She'd be like erm, do you want to buy everyone a first round of drugs before? I remember once, right, my sister was having a birthday party. Well, her sister was having a birthday party once and she wanted to go to the laser tag. And she was like, well, just tell everyone, your dad will pay for them all to go with you. And she's like, well, my dad was like he'll do what, because she was so worried about rejection for my sister, like that people wouldn't want to go, so she was willing to think about paying for them all to go with it. And it's also.
Speaker 1:It's not your money. No, it's not. It's not, you're not paying for it.
Speaker 2:She does that all the time. My dad's like oh yeah, I've had to make a new parking space outside for the Amazon delivery guy. So when he comes, she's like oh, it's so funny. Honestly, mate. Honestly, she's like what did she say to me before? She said some outrageous things in her life, but that's all mum's in it.
Speaker 1:They are so non-street wise. Yeah, under a percent. It's wild. Yeah, totally wild yeah.
Speaker 2:She said to me earlier today I was like oh, it's snowing up near less. And she's like oh, have you changed your tires to snow tires? I was like, no, oh, no, Fucking, changed the tires.
Speaker 1:I've got four spare tires in the garage just to get snow for two days. I only take two hours. What's?
Speaker 2:she playing at oh, you should really get some snow tires.
Speaker 1:I was like what the fuck's a snow?
Speaker 2:tire. We don't sell them in fucking big Costco. Well, maybe I'm being a bit harsh, but you know what I mean Outrageous, outrageous behaviour. My dad's no better, though. He started watching this programme right. He's like a wilderness man in Ukraine and he's like he's obviously a millionaire or he's got some money because he's got this big ranch in Ukraine and he's got all these Barbecues and things and he's like, oh yeah, he lives off the wild and yeah, he catches his own food and basically all he does is cook steaks on a barbecue. Is all as a 10 from watching it. He cooks steak on a barbecue, doesn't do much at these, it's between. He's like oh yeah, I'd love to live like that and I'm like you're sat in your boxes at 5 pm. I need shit Watching a block on youtube. Cook steaks. You would last about 45 seconds.
Speaker 1:Do you know? Do you know in that sort of grass is green and like attitude. My aunt is a big culprit of that really. Massively. Yeah, and something that she said the way I was just like where I was spat my tea out was was that she, she said she was she's lived in America for like 40 odd years and then she lived here for three years and she was like but she does it Subconsciously to try and get on the nerves of the people's that she's around.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's my theory. Yeah, and she said Well, you know, Jack, she's also got this really faux posh accent which she doesn't need to have. Her and my mum from the same area. They've got completely different. Yeah, your mom's not no, and she's like well, you know, jack, the kids in America, they're incredibly hard-working. Oh, and it's like they're notoriously entitled. Yeah kids, kids in America. Yeah, I'm like, are you having a laugh?
Speaker 2:Oh, she puts it on because she's been in America and they love that accent.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm not. I've literally this fest, I'm hearing about it, but I'm making a judgment immediately far. Away.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't know, but I, yeah my mom, by the way. My mom's got a telephone voice, by the way, to the point where it's like, so she'll talk like me. Basically mean, with a wig on she talks like me, does she? Yeah? And then when she's on the phone, she's like it's kind of hot. She's like, oh, I was like, oh, I'm like who's that? She's like oh, I'm, I'm just calling from blah blah, I dress and we want she puts on this really weirdly posh voice. I wonder why people do that on the telephone. Do you have a telephone voice?
Speaker 1:Apparently, I used to get mocked at my work for having a customer service voice, because I go oh, hello there.
Speaker 2:Yes, put your after.
Speaker 1:I remember once the bloke came in and he was like, oh, how much is it from americano? And I was like, oh, I believe that's 180. And just before I was gonna say it I'll let you check he went whoa, I can't do much with, I'll believe.
Speaker 2:I hope you punched him immediately, oh god.
Speaker 1:I can't do much with him. I believe you fucking, he would be an orca. He was a human orca, yeah.
Speaker 2:That's what he was. Yeah, it's not his fault. Really, he's an itcher. Yeah, that's what I belling.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it doesn't change the outcome though, does it, son, for me? I have to deal with that.
Speaker 2:I don't need your vitriol of like. Are we being correct? I'm just saying Waterbell and to say that somebody I've done so many times, though I've fun, some the upright before, when I used to be a cabin chase, do a lot of callouts and we'll end on this one. I used to ring people up and say, oh, hi, is this? I would get a job. Come through, let's say the front door is not locking and I'd be on a 24 for our call out thing and I would say, hi, is this 24? Uh, the headlands drive, north ampton. And they go. Well, this is my cool lives at 24 headlands drive. I'm like, oh yeah, I go, huh.
Speaker 1:Sorry, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:I just don't have a name, mike.
Speaker 1:Go fuck yourself. Yeah, and I was like, well, I'm gonna leave you a fucking fucking front door now I'm not gonna talk, mike. Yeah, like as if you're behaving like this within this first three seconds. I can understand why. If other people hate you, I could see that yeah, Waterbell and Mike was honestly and on that Should we leave you listening?
Speaker 2:go fuck yourself and yeah.
Speaker 1:Mike, if you lived there, do you know what? I've got a bad leg, I've got a good. Actually, you know my legs red, so the red you go.
Speaker 2:Good night from me also. Good night for me also.
Speaker 1:All right, yeah, good night guys.