3. Someone asked if I was Pregnant (I'm not!!!)... How would you react?

How would you react if someone wrongly assumed you were pregnant?! I'll walk you through my thought process and reaction in this episode...(hint: it's probably not the reaction you would expect but hopefully it will help others gain perspective and consider critical comments in a different way). Did this episode help you? Let me know! Shoot me a DM @attractbreakthroughs on Instagram and share your thoughts!

Transcript

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Alex 0:00

I was just thinking I've come a long way since this incident has happened. So something that happened recently that I would have really, it would have really gotten under my skin. Just probably a couple of months ago, even, um, and I'm just, I was just reflecting on this. I think it was yesterday that it happened and I was just reflecting on this and I was thinking like, wow, my response to that just. And not just like my surface level response, but like my full body, deep in my soul response was totally different than what I would have previously, like had I not done work on myself and gained some perspective, so I wanted to share this. I had posted something on Facebook and a group. And so to these people that like. Don't know me very well. It's just like a common kind of shared interest group like a baby type group It was for like babies born during a certain month and day like the same as my now two year old and I so I shared this post and part of the post was a picture of me and my holding my two year old and My older daughter next to us and I it was just like a nice funny post It wasn't really anything serious and I don't post a lot. So It's, you know, it's a little out of my comfort zone and just being vulnerable and trying to make connections and put myself out there a little bit. So it was a little bit out there for me in that regard. But at the same time, I realized logically who cares people post things all the time and no one really cares that much and gives it any more thought than I do. So I posted this. I wasn't originally planning on it. I was just going to posting it to my main page and I think that my main page didn't have a photo attached to my, my little funny post, but I, I put a photo in the group because I was trying to tie it in a little bit more to the group and how, like, I'm not just a random person sharing this funny post here, I'm just, I also have a, a baby in this age in the group. And someone commented on the post, there was a bunch of funny comments, people relating and all that stuff. But there was one comment on the post after a lot of the funny ones and they were like, are you pregnant? And like, first of all, who asked them on that? Yeah. Like, uh, you know, my initial response was like, do I look pregnant? I must look pregnant. Why would you say that? So she says, are you pregnant? I was like, what the heck? Like, how rude, you know? I just, you know, like, that's like one of the most common things I feel like that manners that people teach you and that you always hear is like, you never ask someone if they're pregnant. Like, am I crazy? I thought that that was like a common thing that you just don't ask people if they're pregnant, even if they're seriously, obviously pregnant. You I never asked people because I just think it's rude and I don't want to be in a situation where they say no. And so I handled it gracefully. I'll tell you what I did in a moment. Okay, so I did not reply to this woman. Do I look pregnant or why would you ask me that or anything snarky at all? Honestly, along those lines, which part of me, I did have that little bit of, I could say this or that and take this in a rude manner and I said, you know what? Maybe I do look pregnant. I mean, not, that's honestly not even really, I don't care if I did, like, like I said, even if I did, who cares? And it would be, she is still the person in the wrong for pointing that out and calling, asking someone that, in my opinion. But, um, my thought was really like, well, is she in the right group? Oh gosh. Is she in the right group? Is she, maybe she thinks that I'm in another baby group and she's pregnant and she's reflecting this on me and trying to relate to me as, well, are you also pregnant like me or something like that? Or maybe, um, just because I posted it in the baby group in general, she's like, oh, This is baby related or because honestly, the photos I had just gotten done at a photo shoot. Oh my God. I had just gotten done at a photo shoot and they were really, um, pretty photos, I think, and not to brag or anything, but I thought that they were stunning pictures. I got really positive feedback on a lot of them from. Just my close friends and people that do know me. And I just, I personally thought they were gorgeous photos. My friend shot them. It was just a fun little photo shoot that I wanted to do just to have kind of like some annual photos taken and my family on the beach and the sunset and just do something like super light and fun. And the outfit wasn't maybe the most flattering outfit on me. And, but that's besides the point. It was cute because it was matching with my kids. And I just thought that. I, it's, they're super cute. So I think that maybe someone seeing that photo shoot would say, oh, maybe they got a photo shoot done to celebrate a pregnancy announcement. Like, that's a really common thing. I feel like these days where people, you are pregnant and you want to announce it to the world somehow. So people get a photo shoot taken specifically for that purpose and like, oh, my family's growing. And it wasn't that, but. In this situation, that wasn't what it was, but I considered all these things when replying to this woman because I just thought, you know, she doesn't know me at all. She has, I don't know her at all, context and, um, perspective that she is coming from here with her question. And I'm not gonna waste my energy on. starting some silly fight on Facebook or like being super offended by one stranger's comments. And I think that I've come a long way in that regard because it doesn't really matter to me at the end of the day what her reasons were for asking that. Um, like I said, I do feel like I wouldn't personally ask anyone that, but, um, it was, it was interesting because it gave me a little text of like, Hey, If someone gives you a little check, what are you gonna do? Are you gonna shrivel up and cry and say, oh my gosh, I knew I looked fat. I, I really was, I, I shouldn't have posted this. I shouldn't have gone out of my comfort zone. Why, you know, this always happens to me. We get into these spirals of like negative thoughts and it can only be one way. And, oh, well I was wrong for posting it. This must mean that I'm wrong and she's right. And, All these like extremes that we tend to go to in these situations where they don't have to be like that at all. It's, there's so many other reasons and perspectives and things unknown that are at work all the time that we don't see. So I just thought it was interesting. Um, I ended up replying to her. She said, are you pregnant? I ended up replying, haha. I hope not. Or something like that, just something light hearted to kind of like, nip it in the bud, say no, and also like, I'm not offended, I'm not gonna escalate this situation, I'm not even gonna ask why you would ask me that, because I don't want to know, I don't really care, you're a stranger on the internet. So I thought it was more just an interesting opportunity for me to, you Be faced with a mini little criticism and or what could be perceived as a potential criticism and see how are you going to handle that? Are you ready to continue posting and putting yourself out there or are you not emotionally mature enough to handle this type of situation? So I just wanted to say I'm really proud of myself and I haven't really like Let that comment get to me. And like the old me, I think would have been even just a few months, a year ago would have been like, what was me? The sky is falling, maybe even on a different day or on a different mindset. I, I would have said, Oh my gosh, everyone thinks I'm fat. I would have really catastrophized it and been like, this is, this is the end of the world. Like I posted on the internet and the internet people thought That I looked fat and so so fat that I looked pregnant like I'm growing another human. So Yeah, I didn't do that and I'm super freaking proud of myself, I just want to say and I just I'm just proud of myself that I didn't blow it out of proportion I didn't take one stranger's comment on the internet, which I have no idea how You And why it came about to mean, this is what everyone thinks. This is the end all be all. And even if it is what everyone thinks, who cares? Like, I'm just getting to a point in my life. Thankfully that I don't care as much what other people think. I feel like a lot of our lives we've spent growing up. We're awkward and we're trying to figure out where do I actually fit in and. How can I not make waves and just be blended and have the clothes everyone else is wearing and be skinny if everyone else is skinny and not be made fun of and not get talked about behind my back and be cool in high school and all this stuff. And I, I feel like I'm just glad that I'm finally at a place in my life where I'm living very authentically and making healthy choices, maybe not always the most glamorous. Day in and day out to work out and be fit. That's the hilarious part about it is like, I've probably never been in as good a shape almost in my life. I've thankfully gone through different periods recently of having good fitness. And like before my mom passed away in 2021, I was. At my fittest probably, but I also was like six years removed from having my first baby. So my body had added five or six years to recover from the train wreck that is childbirth and I had. built kind of, you know, just, it was, and I hadn't been, I just, I was skinnier. I wasn't, I wasn't really having a healthy lifestyle. I was still drinking. I was doing Adderall. I, I just, I wasn't like, I might've been skinny at my skinniest and maybe running a little faster because I was thinner and. Just super moved from having a child. But I think that now I am, even though I hit all these PRS at orange theory and stuff back then, I think that now I feel like I'm actually more fit than I was all the way back then. And I do in body scans to kind of see, you know, my muscle tone and my body composition more on a deep level than just like, how much do I weigh today? And compare that. I. I think it's more helpful to see like all these nitty gritty little metrics if you've never done an in body scan, I highly recommend it. It's really cool to just see like a real picture of your, your fat levels basically like, Oh, you might be really skinny and not weigh a lot. You actually have a lot of fat around your organs and you're at risk of this and this and that. And it's just, it gives you a more complete picture than just your weight. So I know from doing in body scans this year and comparing them to a couple years ago when I was skinnier, that I am more muscular now. I am in a better shape now. I've run a 50k. I've run over 30 miles at one time. And I know that the old me couldn't and wouldn't have done that. So there's just a lot that goes into our whole fitness and well being in terms of. You know, your grit and your determination and your ability to keep at something like staying consistent with working out and staying consistent with some of these things, like even when you're pregnant. So now I'm almost two years removed from having. My second baby. And I do feel like though I've stayed consistent in weight training at the gym. That's what's so ironic about the stranger's comment is like, she doesn't know me at all, obviously. And I'm in probably arguably the best shape of my life right now. Just coming off running my first 50 K a couple months ago and just staying consistent running 10, a 10 mile long run every weekend. Um, staying, basically trying to run a total of 25 miles a week at least every week, give or take, and my goal of running 1, 000 miles a week. For the whole year. I'm on track. I'm actually ahead of plan for that. As of right now, it's almost June 1st, and I am about, I would say, probably 150 miles ahead of plan. So if you think, if you run a hundred miles a month every month for 12 months, that's 1200 miles a year. So I'm basically, that's pretty much roughly what I've been doing is about a hundred miles a month. So I've been on track with that. I've built myself a good cushion to continue hopefully just staying on track and if I do slip up down the line, you know, it's not the end of the world. It's just a silly little goal, but it's something to work towards and it's something to focus on. So I just hope that this gives you some perspective. I think that, you know, it's people's comments about us are not by any means, they don't define us and they don't. mean that everyone thinks that and they don't have to have a negative impact on you and your psyche. You can become mature enough to brush things off and see that there's not just black and white here. There's not just, Oh, I look pregnant or I don't. There's just, hey, those are beautiful photos. You, your soul is shining in these photos. That's what I see. I see someone whose soul is shining, who's having fun, who's having like literally just living my best life. And I'm very proud of that. Thank you for listening. I know that, uh, I'm like tearing up because I'm actually proud of myself. Okay. So I hope that this inspires you to. Let your soul shine to and not let anyone drag you down. You never know what someone else is going through. Like I said, you never know if this is just a person that was salty and was like, hey, I'm gonna make a mean comment just to try to bring someone else down, just to try to make myself feel better. That's, there's a lot of that in the world and blame it. I totally get it. I've been there. So I just want this to be a reminder that You don't have to listen to what other people think. And even if you put yourself out there and someone makes a rude comment, it doesn't matter. You can brush it off and you can keep things in perspective and know that you made the right choice by putting yourself out there. There's only so much you can control. You can control what you put out into the world, being positive, not asking people if they're pregnant for no apparent reason. And You control your energy, so I, and, and also in not doing those type of things, you can also, sorry I'm literally like snorting, laughing from this, um, so you can also like control your energy and what you give back, so I'm controlling my energy and not telling people that they look pregnant, or being rude, and then I'm also controlling my energy and not giving anything negative, back to this person and taking it personally. Don't take anything personally. Everything is right with the world. It's all good. It's, it doesn't matter. It's not your stuff. That's their stuff. They make that comment. From their own place and their own energy. And that is not your responsibility to control. And that's, there's freedom in that you control your own energy. You can tweak your, your radio dial and your frequency to only pick up and put down the positive. And if something's, if you can get to a point where something comes through on a, a negative frequency, and you're so vibing on your positive frequency, You can acknowledge it and be like, Oh, Hey, I see that over there. I see that negative frequency, but I don't accept that. That's not mine. That's not my frequency. That's I don't, I'm good. I'm good where I'm at. I don't need to go over there. And that's what I want for all of you. I love this feeling. It's so empowering. And I just, I'm so glad that I get to share this with you. And I hope that this will inspire you to not take shit from anyone. And. Just live your best life and do you boo boo. Peace out