The Healthy Church Staff Podcast

The Power of 'No': Embracing Boundaries for a Healthier Ministry

September 17, 2024 Todd Rhoades Season 1 Episode 182

Ever wondered why saying "no" feels like a taboo in ministry? Join us on the Healthy Church Staff Podcast as Todd Rhoades, co-founder of Chemistry Staffing, sheds light on why embracing the power of "no" is vital for long-term ministry success. Todd unpacks the common pitfalls of overcommitting in church leadership, leading to burnout and resentment, and offers practical strategies to establish and maintain healthy boundaries.

Todd shares insightful and actionable advice on recognizing personal limits, clearly communicating your boundaries, and overcoming the guilt often associated with saying no. By prioritizing self-care and scheduling time for rest, you can enhance your effectiveness in serving God and others sustainably. If you're feeling overwhelmed, Todd is here to offer support and coaching. Don't miss his transformative tips and reach out to him anytime at podcast@chemistrystaffing.com.

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Speaker 1:

Hi there, welcome to this episode of the Healthy Church Staff Podcast. My name is Todd Rhodes, I'm one of the co-founders over at chemistrystaffingcom, and today we are talking about something that might be a little bit uncomfortable for some of us, and that is the practice of saying it's just two little letters saying the word no. In ministry, it's very easy to fall into the trap of saying yes to everything. After all, we're called to serve and to love and to give but constantly saying yes can lead to burnout and resentment and even compromise our ability to effectively minister to others. So setting boundaries is not about being selfish or uncaring. We've talked about this on the podcast before, but I think it needs to be reset. Setting boundaries is about recognizing our limitations and prioritizing our well-being so that we can continue to serve God and others in a long-term, sustainable way.

Speaker 1:

Studies have shown that burnout is a major problem among church leaders the constant demands, the long hours, the 24 hours on call. It can really leave an emotional toll. It can help us to feel exhausted and overwhelmed and disillusioned, and one of the key factors in preventing burnout is actually setting and maintaining those healthy boundaries, and this means learning to say no. I always like to say it this way no is a complete sentence. So sometimes you have to say no to requests that maybe stretch us too thin or infringe on our personal time or conflict with our values. Saying no can be difficult, especially when we feel the pressure to please others or fear letting other people down. But remember it's okay to prioritize your needs and your well-being. So here's some tips for setting some boundaries and this is hard. This is hard for all of us. The first is just to know your limits. Be honest with yourself and know how much you can handle. Don't overcommit or take on more. A family is just incredible and soon my wife Dawn and I felt like we were just Dawn especially felt like she was just getting to the point where you know how I don't know how much more I can handle during hospitalizations and dealing with insurance companies and all of that. So sometimes you just need to know your limits and don't overcommit or take on more, particularly during those times that you're stressed with other things. Don't take on more than you can just realistically manage.

Speaker 1:

It's okay to say no, and that's the second point is clearly communicate when you say no. I joke that no is a complete sentence. You do have to say no with kindness and clarity, right. Explain your reasons briefly. Offer alternative solutions, if possible. Be diplomatic about. Do have to say no with kindness and clarity, right. Explain your reasons briefly. Offer alternative solutions, if possible. Be diplomatic about it. When you say no, but communicate it clearly.

Speaker 1:

And here's the thing, don't feel guilty. Remember you're not obligated to say yes to everything. I doubt if you were to go to your file cabinet and pull out your job description. It probably has a lot of things in there, but I bet it does not say that you need to say yes to everything. It's okay to prioritize your needs and your wellbeing and it's okay to say no.

Speaker 1:

Matter of fact, you need to practice that self-care. You need to make some time for rest and relaxation and you need to take some time. If you haven't done so in a while and I know a lot of people that don't do this actively you need to take time and put it on your calendar. If you need to do activities that actually recharge you, some of those things you just have to, and if you don't schedule them, you may never do it Okay. So here's the bottom line.

Speaker 1:

Saying no is not a sign of weakness Repeat after me. Saying no is not a sign of weakness. I'll give you a second. There you go. It's a sign of strength and self-awareness. By setting boundaries, you're protecting your own well-being and ensuring that you can continue to serve God and others in a sustainable way. If you're struggling to set boundaries or you feel overwhelmed by demands of ministry, don't hesitate to reach out and offer some coaching and transition coaching any kind of coaching. I would love to touch base with you. If there's any way that I can help you or your church or your ministry, you can reach out to me anytime at podcastchemistrystaffingcom. I'm here to help and we will be back again tomorrow, and I hope you won't say no to coming back and listening to tomorrow's episode of the podcast. I would really appreciate it if you come back. We're here every day, monday through Friday, on the Healthy Church Staff Podcast. Okay, have a great day.

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