When to Leave - Losing the Church’s Trust

Trust is the cornerstone of every thriving ministry, but what happens when it begins to erode? We explore the signs of lost trust and provide practical steps for leaders to rebuild connections and foster an environment of transparency. 

• Discussing the signs of eroded trust in church settings 
• Identifying avoidance behavior among key leaders 
• Recognizing increased resistance to leadership decisions 
• Addressing gossip and undercurrents in church communities 
• Understanding the impact of declining engagement 
• Exploring feelings of personal isolation among church leaders 
• Emphasizing the importance of owning one's part in trust issues 
• Encouraging honest feedback and open communication 
• Considering mediation for complex trust issues 
• Action step: scheduling conversations for clarity and connection

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:07

Hi there, welcome back to the Healthy Church Staff Podcast. My name is Todd Rhodes, I'm one of the co-founders over at chemistrystaffingcom and I'm your host here to walk alongside you as we navigate the joys and the challenges of ministry together. Today's topic I want to talk about it's a tough one, but it's an important one. Here it is what happens when you lose the trust of your church. Now we're in the middle of a series three-week series we started this week, inspired by Wade Hodge's book called when to Leave. The subtitle is how to Know when it's Time to Move On Before you Stay Too Long. When to Leave. The subtitle is how to know when it's time to move on before you stay too long. And today we're exploring the signs of eroded trust and what you can do about it. So stick with me. At the end of the episode I'll give you some tools to identify and address some trust issues or know when it might be time to step away, and also I will have a link to you where you can get an absolutely free copy of Wade's book when to Leave.

Speaker 1: 1:06

Okay, let's talk about trust. Trust is the foundation of any healthy ministry and when trust is strong, everything seems to go well, you've got fostering good collaboration, grace. You've got shared vision. But when trust breaks down it can feel like you're trying to build a house on sand. So here are some signs. I've got five of them here from Wade's book, five signs that trust might be eroding between you and your church. Here's the first one Are key leaders avoiding you?

Speaker 1: 1:41

Maybe you are the key leader, but maybe you're a staff member. But even if you're the senior pastor, if elders or deacons or your governing board or influential members of your congregation are dodging tough questions or seem really distant all of a sudden or over time, that's a red flag. So number one maybe key leaders are avoiding you. Number two maybe there's some increased resistance to your leadership. Are you noticing more pushback than usual to your decisions or your initiatives or your plans or your vision? It could signal a deeper issue of mistrust.

Speaker 1: 2:18

Number three maybe there's gossip and undercurrents. Some churches, man, this just gossip is horrible. Other churches I've been a part of there's hardly any gossip. But you know what the gossip level at your church normally is. When you start hearing whispers of discontent or rumors about your leadership and I realize sometimes you're the last to know, but when you hear that from anybody. It's time to at least pay attention. Consider the source, but pay attention.

Speaker 1: 2:47

Number four maybe there's declining engagement. If attendance or giving or volunteer involvement is slipping, it could be that trust issues could be a part of that equation. So look for declining engagement, whether it's attendance or giving or anything like that. And then, number five personal isolation. Do you feel like you're on an island? Leadership can be lonely a lot of times, right, but losing trust often leads to a breakdown in relationships, and that breakdown in relationships can leave you feeling isolated and unsupported. So once trust starts to erode, it's really challenging to rebuild, and Wade reminds us that sometimes the healthiest option for you and your church might be to step down and allow new leadership to heal some of those wounds. So here's the bottom line for today Trust is earned and maintained through humility and transparency in action.

Speaker 1: 3:42

And if you see any of these signs of eroded trust, here are some, really, I think, practical steps that you can take. First, own your part. Acknowledge any mistakes or missteps that you've made that's caused some of this mistrust. Humility sometimes goes a long way in rebuilding relationships, so own your part goes a long way in rebuilding relationships. So own your part. Invite some honest feedback. Create a safe space for leaders and members to share their concerns. Listen without defensiveness, ask questions, but be sure that you're ready to hear the answer, because you want that. You need that honest feedback.

Speaker 1: 4:21

Number three communicate clearly and often. Transparency can help rebuild confidence. Share your heart, share your plans, share your willingness to grow, communicate. Communication is key. And then, if things are really not healthy and they're not healthy maybe consider a mediator. Sometimes an outside perspective can help restore broken trust. Consider bringing in a coach or a consultant to help navigate the process.

Speaker 1: 4:49

So this week, here's your action step. Or today even it's simple and it's powerful Okay, schedule a conversation with a trusted leader to ask for their honest feedback about how your leadership is being perceived. It might be uncomfortable, but it's a crucial step toward clarity. I know that's a scary action step today, but think about who could I talk to, who could I take out for coffee, who could I grab lunch with, just to ask for some honest feedback on how my leadership is doing and how I'm being perceived. If trust issues are something you're navigating, I'd love to hear your story.

Speaker 1: 5:28

You can always email me podcast at chemistrystaffingcom. That's my email address, not my name, but you can email me anytime. Podcast at chemistrystaffingcom. Your experiences could help shape some future episodes. Plus, I'd love to offer encouragement. Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast. If your church is looking for a new staff member, you can visit chemistrystaffingcom or email me again. Podcast at chemistrystaffingcom. We'd love to partner with you.

Speaker 1: 5:57

Finally I think I mentioned at the beginning of the episode we have a special gift for you. It's a free copy of Wade Hodge's book. It's called when to Leave. It's a resource that's packed with great wisdom. We're basing our whole three-week series so you can get in and read along through our series. It's absolutely free. It's a free PDF download. You can get it at chemistrystaffingcom. Slash when-to-leave. Chemistrystaffingcom. Slash win-2-leave. All right, thanks for joining me today. Remember, trust is hard to build and it's easy to lose, but it's not impossible to restore. And whether you're in the process of rebuilding trust or discerning if it's time to move on, you're not alone and you've got a friend right here with me and the Healthy Church Staff Podcast. I am here to hopefully guide and help you through whatever you're going through this year. So we will talk to you again tomorrow. We're here every day, monday through Friday, and I will talk to you again tomorrow. Have a great day, I'll have it.