Combating Parental Alienation & Estrangement With Dr. Paul Jenkins’ Positivity Model - PART 2 - Episode 33

As I unraveled my own knots of estrangement and marital upheaval, I discovered the unexpected gifts hidden in life's trials. Our latest podcast episode invites you into this personal journey, alongside insights from Dr. Paul, who illuminates the indispensable role of energy management in navigating the turbulent waters of family dynamics and child custody battles.

In the throes of adversity, it's the transformative potential of our hardships that can lead us to a place of growth and creativity. Dr. Paul and I dissect the delicate dance of personal safety, righteousness, and their effects on our connections with others. We also question the impact of clinging to victimhood versus utilizing support groups as launching pads for resilience. Mary Louise Zeller, an 80-year-old 6-degree black belt in Taekwondo, graces us with her wisdom on the "white belt stuff"—the daily practice of gratitude and self-improvement that lays the foundation for a positive outlook.

Concluding with a heartfelt reminder of the power of love and gratitude, we beckon you to share these gleaned pearls of wisdom with those in your own circles. This conversation is an invitation to transform your mess into a message, a mantra to carry with you as you continue to foster happiness and well-being in every facet of life.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

This trauma that we've experienced helps us to see ourselves a little more clearly and to see that, yeah, I am a powerful resilient human being.

Speaker 2: 0:11

Hi, my name is Lawrence Joss and welcome to the Family Disappeared podcast. Today we have the second part of Dr Paul's interview, which is really cool A lot of fun conversations and chuckles and some really deep thoughts. And Dr Paul's all about positivity, about taking those really tough situations and looking at the positive aspects of them. It doesn't make it easier, it doesn't make them go away, but it definitely opens up the vortex into possibilities and spaciousness and love and a different perspective on life that sometimes we just pass over automatically because some of the stuff we're dealing with is heavy and we can't see the silver lining. So I'm really excited for the second part of the conversation today and if you're new to the community, please subscribe, please like us on YouTube, facebook, instagram. You know, come join the community. There's so much wonderful, wonderful stuff going on and we look forward to seeing you on the other side of the episode. So let's get right into it.

Speaker 2: 1:06

There was a time in my life when I was overwhelmed and underwater. Those days are the inspiration for this podcast. This is by far the ultimate healing journey for all of us. Healing ourselves emotionally, spiritually and physically is paramount to this journey. From this place of grounding. We can all go out into the world and change all our interactions and relationships. We can engage people from an integrated and resource place. This is a journey of coming home to ourselves. In today's episode we'll start to explore some of these issues. Let's begin the healing journey today. Welcome to the Family Disappeared podcast.

Speaker 2: 1:39

Not sure if I've shared the story with you all, but when I first started going to 12-step meetings now, I was in a lot of pain. My life felt like I was falling apart. My oldest daughter wasn't 12-teen. She didn't talk to me from 12 years old until 13 years old, and my marriage has fallen apart and all I wanted was everything to be okay. I just wanted everything to be okay. I just wanted to be able to get on with my life and keep moving. I didn't want to be present or emotionally available, any of those other things, because I didn't even know they existed, so they weren't even on my list. I just wanted some need and I wanted to be able to just kind of move through life somewhat unconscious. That's the reality of the family system that I was brought up in and I started going to these 12-step meetings and I'm coming in complaining about my daughter's not 12, she's in the advice form. Apart from my heart hurts my exes doing whatever she's doing. And one of those old timers at the meetings and then you think about the 12-step program or other support groups is there's always a bunch of people that just keep coming and they're always sitting in the same seats and they always show up. And as you keep coming back to the same meetings, you see them showing up in the same seats in your life. Wow, that's wicked cool.

Speaker 2: 2:47

I feel comfortable, my nervous system feels comfortable. So there's this whole time. I'm broken. I'm like this is all just shit, this is all just part.

Speaker 2: 2:55

And I'm like you know, there's nothing in my glass. It's like empty. And he's like you know it's not quite empty. There's something in your glass. And he's like may I offer you a suggestion? And I'm like in my head, I'm like no, no, don't need a suggestion from you. You're here every day in the same place, they're the same thing. But I'm like okay, what's your suggestion? He's like maybe you need a smaller glass, right?

Speaker 2: 3:22

So I had this really big glass that I wanted to fill up with my life and I wanted everything to be perfect and everything to be okay and I kept concentrating on all the stream you manga stuff.

Speaker 2: 3:32

Any suggestions? Why don't you just get a little glass and all what you do have a new glass and a little glass and a little glass to see what's full of it? I think that's what Dr Paul is talking about. Is the positive stuff in life, the good things that are going on. How do we hang on to those things? How do we look at those things? How do we take those things and expand our heart and our family and our recovery and working on ourselves and so on? That's my little story. Let's get into the second part of the interview with Dr Paul and in creating the what is to be, we still have to be an acceptance of what is and basically let go that we have no control over, like that, like you started the conversation, and we just let go into the creation and stuff just keeps evolving and unfolding, as long as we stay within the positive outlook instead of the negative outlook, correct?

Speaker 1: 4:16

It's a lot about energy management. Yes, you're correct in saying what you just did, because it changes the energy. Let me give you another example. This is a relationship example and it's relevant for how we deal with our kids. Let's say that our children are actively trying to shut us out from their life and delete us from the lives of our grandchildren. Okay, why are they doing that? Now, they have a story and we have a story about their story.

Speaker 1: 4:53

But the short version is people actively are trying to do two things. I think this is the job of our brain to keep us safe and to prove us right. And both of those things get in our way all the time and have us treating each other terribly. So a defensive response if someone feels attacked, accused, criticized, they will naturally put up a defense to keep themselves safe. And once they do that, then their brain is acting overtime to prove them right about their theory. And remember, coming from 13 years of child custody evaluations for the court, I saw so many examples of people who are trying to protect themselves, created a story about that evil other person and then actively work to prove themselves right about that, and we have these alienation dynamics that just take on a life of their own and destroy families. It's tragic in my mind. Knowing that that happens, we can start to approach things differently. So check it out. When we have a belief that somebody else needs to change something in order for this to be okay, that feels and sounds like a threat to the other person You're saying you're not okay, you need to change something in order for us to be okay.

Speaker 1: 6:44

Here I was watching one of your episodes, lawrence, where you were talking about how you felt to educate your daughter. She must not know about parental alienation, and so obviously it's my job to make sure that she understands that. Well, you know that that doesn't work now, and why? Because it's like holding up a big sign that says I'm right, you're wrong, you need to change. Well, people are naturally going to resist that, and this is why the court is such a terrible place to solve family problems, because it's coming in with this assumption of adversarial. You know, I'm right, you're wrong, I'm going to prove this and then you're going to have to do whatever you are mandated to do. I can't tell you how many people over the years have told me it's in the court order, they have to do this and I'm like, yeah, another example of unenforceable rules.

Speaker 1: 7:48

And it just ticks people off and has this dynamic where it's like a couple that comes to my office earlier when I was doing a lot of couple counseling in my career and a couple would come in and she was dragging him in by the ear and she's like this sucks, this has to improve, this has to change. Well, he's feeling like I'm not ever good enough for you, right? What she doesn't understand is that she's going to get a lot more mileage with him if she tells him look, my life is better because you're in it, and then pause there. A positive evaluation creates an energy that we can create some really cool upgrades from.

Speaker 1: 8:38

It's kind of like when the same son that I'm visiting here in Chicago right now, when he was 21 years old, he had just come home from two years of volunteer missionary service and he wanted to buy a car he's 21 years old at the time. So I take him down to the credit union, where I've been banking since 1984. And we sit down with a loan officer who pulls up his information. Now you can probably guess what happened.

Speaker 1: 9:07

He doesn't have any work history. He's been doing volunteer missionary service. He doesn't have credit. He's a ghost in the credit system. He doesn't currently have a job. He's still kind of lining that up.

Speaker 1: 9:18

So she's like I'm sorry, you don't qualify for this loan. It was only 3000 bucks that he needed. So I throw my hat in the ring. I'm like how about if I co-sign on that loan for him and this little loan officer? She's so excited. She's like yeah, that's a great idea. So she pulls up my information, lauren. She gets an even darker look on her face. She turns to me and says sir, that makes it worse. Remember, I went through bankruptcy, right? I knew that I was playing with her, so I gave her another option. I pull $3,000 out of my pocket, I put it on the desk, slide it over next to her and I'm like how about if I give you the money to lend my son and then you let us both co-sign on that note so we can build our credit? How does that sound? She's like oh yeah, we can give you good rates on that.

Speaker 1: 10:07

What I learned is that you can get the loan as soon as you prove you don't need the money. And this is so true in relationships. This is the paradox and it's really hard for people to accept, because in evaluation mode, when we're still judging, we're saying this is not okay, this is not the way it should be, this is an injustice. The trap is you can have a better relationship as soon as you realize and embrace and accept that it's good how it is. When you come to peace with the way it is, it changes the energy and gives you the ability to now go create something even better. But that's a paradox. We get so tied up and say no, this is not okay, and that repels people, including our kids, our alienated children or grandchildren.

Speaker 1: 11:02

So one of the things I've appreciated about what I know about your show and what you're doing here to provide resources is that we focus on personal development Instead of looking at this as somebody else needs to change something. We look inside and we say, okay, what can I do to get myself into a good place? You come to peace with what it is and then there's all kinds of things that you can do on the creation end. That just gets fun because you don't need it. It's just like the loan. Yeah, I don't need the money, you can get the loan if you prove you don't need the money. That's how banks work, right.

Speaker 2: 11:43

Totally. That's wonderful and I really love the piece about. We need to feel safe and once we feel safe, then we need to prove that we're right and this finger pointing that goes on. And then parental alienation and estrangement, any kind of discord between people, where again, I know for myself like I want to feel safe in situations and a lot of times me wanting to feel safe in situations pushes people away because I want to be right about what safe means to me.

Speaker 2: 12:05

So I really like that you brought in the safe and the right. I think that's such an important piece. And getting back to this creation, like as I work on myself and as my life and my ecosystem grows, like it's really a rich and meaningful life and creations happening all the time and I still miss my kids, but it's different, it's transformed because I'm living in this place of actually living my life and in our community we feel like a lot of people step into this place of creativity and expansion and then there's these huge contractions that come along with it too. Are you saying, in staying more in the positivity and in the process that you have, that we can limit these contractions a little bit more? Is that accurate?

Speaker 1: 12:47

I think that is accurate. See, our experience of our own life is determined by those two processes that I just shared with you the evaluation, where we're judging our life, our circumstances, everything and everyone around us. It's okay. I mean, it's not a judgey kind of judgment, it's just a human kind of. That's what we do, we can't turn it off, and that determines how we feel about our life and that creates an energy that we then take to creation mode, because we have to create something.

Speaker 2: 13:20

And in the positivity I got to think, like the mental and emotional rewards that we receive, our bodies healing our lives, our ecosystems, all that kind of stuff changing as we're staying in this creation, as we're staying in the positivity, Like there, you have to see a tremendous amount of change within yourself and people around you just from opening up this creative space, right.

Speaker 1: 13:41

It's attractive. It's attractive Instead of repelling people. People tend to be drawn to those who carry a positive energy. And sometimes when we're I call it victim mode, when we slip into victim mode and we want to just blame the world and everything and everyone around us, we tend to look for or try to gravitate toward those who are in that same energy. And it doesn't improve things. It just kind of validates our existence and remember our brain's trying to keep us safe and prove us right. And so that's about proving us right. See, I really am a victim here and you guys all understand that. And so we form victim support groups to validate the fact that we're being mistreated.

Speaker 1: 14:28

You know, I got into an interesting conversation earlier this week with a colleague about trauma, and this is what you're talking about is a form of trauma. You know, if a family member cuts us off or if we are alienated or somehow estranged from those that we love, that's trauma. And as we were having this conversation, this colleague and I, we both kind of came to the same conclusion at the same time that trauma is universal, it's not a special case. Everyone experiences trauma. You know, I shared with you. My son didn't write to me and say I don't want to have anything to do with you. He wrote to me and said dad, I have cancer. Okay, Well, that's trauma too, Right? So people have different kinds of trauma, and when you get into social media and some of the cultural trends that you see around this, it's almost like the main question is well, who has the worst trauma? Mine's, worse than yours. I don't think that's helpful, Right?

Speaker 1: 15:31

Because, everybody's trauma is their own and, at the end of the day, we wouldn't trade someone else. And who would you wish yours on, I don't know. It is what it is right, and so we come to peace with what it is. I think it's time for us to stop glorifying trauma and start celebrating the resilience of the human spirit, because we can do hard things and, if nothing else, this trauma that we've experienced helps us to see ourselves a little more clearly and to see that, yeah, I am a powerful, resilient human being. After all, look at what I've gone through, right, and look at what I'm creating, and then your mess becomes your message. I mean, lawrence, even the fact that we can have this conversation is secondary to the trauma that you have personally experienced. That's why we even have this podcast. That's why people are being inspired and uplifted as your mess becomes your message, and that's another personal example. You're doing it.

Speaker 2: 16:44

You're living this. I love some of your wording and your mess becomes your message. I haven't heard that before. I love that. That's fantastic, and you also mentioned the idea of victims. When we fall into that role, that we want to be validated. So we find other people that are in the same place and I see this happen over and over again with these just these groups or these chat boards or these things going on, where it's just a trauma dump and everyone feels validated, like you're saying, and it also feels very familiar, and people stay really, really stuck in those situations and they start to perpetuate these family systems with their own trauma and then the kids and everyone kind of like repel because everyone's just bathing in the same trauma dump. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1: 17:28

Yes, I actually had a vision. You just kind of crossed through the screens of my mind as you were saying that Lawrence of nations launching rockets at each other. Because we're talking about this on a small scale within a family, which is actually a very significant scale because from there it branches out to communities and nations. It's like when you're watching those those uh, stereotypical, you know, pageant movies where the, the young lady, is being interviewed what do you want? And she says world peace. What's it going to take for world peace? We have to start somewhere, and I think within our own hearts and minds.

Speaker 1: 18:13

I'm not saying you were not traumatized, I'm saying you were and everyone is or will be traumatized. Welcome to the planet. That's how we roll here. But when we celebrate the resilience of the human spirit instead of glorifying the trauma, then we can take those circumstances, whatever they are whether it's alienation or cancer or bankruptcy or divorce or whatever, doesn't matter and we can put ourselves in a position to deal with that with the resilience that is built into our human spirit. That's what inspires me. I am not inspired by anybody's victim story. It's the heroes I want to hear about. It's the people who have overcome, who can take their story and turn their mess into a message. That's what inspires.

Speaker 2: 19:04

Yeah, no, I love that. I love hearing the message and the message and cleaning it up and going out in the world and then being a hero and then also showing us a path forward. And I know, before we started chatting on camera, you had mentioned that you have a mini book with a process that folks can actually follow to work through the stuff and you're often a free link to people. Can you just talk a little bit about that and let us know what that is?

Speaker 1: 19:28

Yes, and thank you for mentioning that my mini book, portable Positivity, is so cute it'll fit in your pocket, okay? This is a mini book that I created to describe the model that I've summarized for you here today, the two processes that our mind goes through. It's basically the instruction manual for operating the equipment of your own mind. So, getting beyond the trifle, if you just think positive that you hear let's get to the psychology behind it, understand how to operate the equipment of our own mind and then let's get our mind working for us, not against us. That's what Portable Positivity is all about. And yes, there's a free digital download of this mini book for anyone listening to the podcast today. Just go to and you'll put the link in the show notes, but it's, if you remember my name, dr Paul Jenkins, spelled with a dr drpaljankinscom slash tfd podcast. The Family Disappeared podcast tfd podcast. That's the link just for listeners of this show, so that you can get a free copy of that mini book.

Speaker 2: 20:46

Thank you, dr Paul. That that's incredibly gracious, and I would ask you this question we got a lot of people that are really in that trauma and spinning out and just figuring out how to take their next breath. Within the framework of what you're teaching and positivity, is there anything that you can offer to people like a quick get into the body, a quick kind of like getting back to a neutral spot? Is there something that you offer and just something that people can literally take from the show or while they listen to the show, to kind of refine a neutral balance? Is that even possible? It?

Speaker 1: 21:17

is, and I don't know if it takes us to a neutral balance, back to a positive balance, or just makes it a little less negative. I don't know, but it's in that direction. Okay, and here there's two. Actually, I'm going to give you two. These are brain hacks. These are consistent with everything that we know about psychology, positive psychology, retraining and reprogramming the brain. So I'll give you two.

Speaker 1: 21:42

Okay, here's the first one gratitude. Now, this won't come as a surprise to a lot of folks, but here's the thing I'm going to invite you to do what I call the gratitude power up. Most people, when they do a gratitude list or a gratitude journal, they do it the traditional way okay, which isn't bad, it's just not powerful. And the traditional way is you go list everything that you're grateful for, like your family and your health and puppies and rainbows and indoor plumbing. Anybody can be grateful for those things. All right, here's the power up part at least half of your list. I want you to do 25 things a day, okay. List 25 things that you're sincerely grateful for on your list, and at least half of your list each day has to be about the hard stuff the cancer, the alienation, the diagnosis, the circumstance that is kicking your butt. Okay, see, your brain is used to thinking about that only in negative terms. That's okay, because your brain's job is to keep you safe and prove you right, but knowing that we can ask our brain to go a different direction with it.

Speaker 1: 22:55

What am I grateful for in this, from this about this and notice, I'm not saying be grateful for the cancer. Okay, like with my son, open it up, look inside of it, rummage around, find something in there that you are grateful for. I've spent more quality time with my oldest son in the last three months than I have in the last decade. Okay, am I grateful for that? Yeah, am I grateful for the cancer? Well, that's a harder ask, but that's where I found it. Without the cancer, I wouldn't have the benefits. So I'm asking you to do that. So, 25 things each day, half of your list, at least half, that's 13. If you're doing the math is about the hard stuff. Do that for five days in a row. That's what I call the gratitude power up. It changes the game because you're asking your brain to do something different in evaluation mode. Okay, you're ready for the second one.

Speaker 2: 23:55

Well, just to reflect on the first one is incredibly powerful and I love the power up and just this analogy and this image I have in my head of just like opening up a piece of fruit and really looking what's inside and investigating and just like you're doing with your son and the cancer and that's where the juice is, and, yeah, that's very beautiful and that is wicked. Number one I can't wait for number two. Let's hear it.

Speaker 1: 24:19

And number one is powerful and I have seen it save lives, and I am not exaggerating that at all. It's a lifesaver, it's a life changer, it will redirect your brain. Okay, here's the second one. This one is equally as powerful and this has to do with creation mode. Okay, so just consider for a minute. Look at your watch, or whatever. Notice what time it is. How sure are you? How certain are you that eight o'clock is coming? Pretty sure.

Speaker 2: 24:52

Right.

Speaker 1: 24:52

Yeah, okay, how sure are you that you'll be around at eight o'clock? Some people are like, oh, I don't know, but you've made it to every eight o'clock so far your whole life, and there's two every day if you don't get up early. So you got a pretty good track record. You're going to be around at eight. There's only two options. I used to think there were three, but I eliminated the third option because I don't think it's possible for things to be exactly the same at eight o'clock as they are right now. At the very least, you're going to be a little older, aren't you? You might be more hungry, more tired, I don't know. It depends on what you did just before eight. So notice this Things have to be by your own evaluation, which you can't turn off, either better or worse at eight o'clock, by your own judgment. Now, do you think you could make things worse by eight? Notice that, because if you can make a mess, that's really good news, because you can make, and that's good news. Okay, what you make is up to you. So, instead of a mess, here's the second brain hack better by eight. I call this BB eight. It's kind of like the little droid on Star Wars. Bb. Eight stands for better by eight.

Speaker 1: 26:12

What could I do to make some aspect of my life better by eight? I'm not talking next week, next month or next year. Eight o'clock and notice what your brain does with that. It's like, oh well, I could do this or that and pick any aspect you want. It could be your relationship, it could be your finances, it could be your health, it could be nutrition, I don't care. Pick something you can do multiple if you want. You're the creator, you decide that. But pick something to make things better by eight. How does that feel?

Speaker 2: 26:50

I feel good, I like that yeah that's hope.

Speaker 1: 26:54

See, we can generate hope on demand, which means there's far too much unnecessary death and suffering out there. Better by eight. If you will do this for the same five days, you get to have 10 upgrades in the next five days. How?

Speaker 2: 27:10

awesome is that. That is great. Better by eight gratitude power up and they're brain hacks. I love that you introduced that and so many of us are so dysregulated at times just practicing those things Like I've practiced a regular gratitude list for a very long time. But your invitation to open up that gratitude list and dig into some of these constructs or ideas that we're really really struggling with and see where there are juices in that, I love that.

Speaker 1: 27:39

Just a little acknowledgement, lawrence and this is maybe a warning that when you ask your brain, what am I grateful for in this hard thing, your brain sometimes turns that into a statement disguised as a question what is there to be grateful for in this? You hear the exclamation point. It's not a question, it's a statement disguised as a question. So watch out for that and make it a question what is there to be grateful for in this? It's a good question.

Speaker 2: 28:13

That's a great question and, like you on a personal level, like practicing positivity, practicing your two step model and stuff, what would you say are the some of the greatest rewards or epiphanies or meanings that you found in life by practicing this on a more consistent, regular basis and over yours versus over days. I gotta presume there's a difference, as you're building up resilience by practicing this.

Speaker 1: 28:42

Oh, absolutely. And I am a black belt in positivity. I say that because I and I don't know any of the martial arts, but I think that's a pretty good analogy. I interviewed Mary Louise Zeller on my podcast. She's 80 and is a 6 degree black belt in Taekwondo Okay, this grandma can kick it in next Wednesday. And she shared with me. She said when you're a white belt, do the white belt stuff. When you're a white belt, do the white belt stuff. For her that meant throwing a thousand kicks a day. For all of us it probably means do the gratitude power up and do BB eight, better by eight. Practice that. That's the white belt stuff.

Speaker 1: 29:30

What it does is it introduces you to some new possibilities and as you start to hone and develop those skills, it's just like learning a new language. You choose it. Okay, can you speak Finnish? I can. I learned Finnish because I chose it. But that wasn't enough. You can't just choose it, you have to choose it and then practice it. Immerse yourself in the culture, in the language, do the things that are required to get you there.

Speaker 1: 30:01

So learning to be more positive is not just like, okay, I'm going to be more positive. Well, yeah, you need to make that choice. The choice is necessary but not sufficient. So then you get to put in the reps, do the gratitude power up and do it for five days in a row and then continue to do what's working. Do more of what works and less of what doesn't. Join a community, get a coach, read the books, get that. I do coaching programs on my platform all the time with people who are working on fluency in this new language that they're learning. So be willing to do the white belt stuff. I'm a black belt. Okay, I've done a lot of the white belt stuff and I've practiced. I've literally. I call my job a practice. I have practiced this for three decades. I train and certify people in these models. I am a master instructor of positivity. Okay, and I'm saying that to brag. I'm saying you put in the reps and you can develop the skills. I don't know if that answered your question, lawrence, I kind of took off with that.

Speaker 2: 31:11

You know what I think it's. It's real Like if we actually want to see some kind of sustainable change in our life, that we actually have to do the work. And the work's not always easy. And I'm hearing with this positivity you put in the work, do the white belt stuff, and as you do the white belt stuff you start to develop more muscles, and as you develop more muscles you move on to a different belt, and that's realistic. You know, a lot of folks walk into these situations and are looking for that proverbial pill that that in the Western world, like we're always told, is going to fix us. And that's not what your practice sounds like. It's about. Your practice sounds like it's about doing the work, showing up, committing to it, and then it changes over time and you can become a black belt like, like you too.

Speaker 2: 31:51

And I would say this, dr Paul, what else? How else do we get hold of you? I'm going to put everything in the show notes. You're going to list and I know you got some courses. You got some books. You've told us about the mini book. What else would you like to share with us that might be useful to the community and for them engaging you? You know outside of the podcast.

Speaker 1: 32:08

Well, thank you again. The mini book is where I would start to, because that is the model, that is, the operating instructions for the equipment of your own mind, so go grab it. Drpauljenkinscom slash T F D podcast for the family disappeared podcast. That's where you'll find that. That's a free resource and once you get that, you'll be connected to me and you can opt out. I'm going to send you some emails and let you know what else is available to you. You can opt out anytime you want. You still get to keep the free download, so that's probably the best place.

Speaker 1: 32:46

I'm on YouTube. I've got my own podcast called live on purpose radio, and you are welcome to listen to that and enjoy the conversations that we're having to help people do an occasional checkup from the neck up. You know we're working on our mental hygiene and people take their dental hygiene seriously, but you know what your mental hygiene is. Probably even more important, what are you doing to take care of the equipment of your own mind? And so that's why the resources are there on YouTube and on the podcast and guest appearances like this. Thank you so much for the opportunity to join your community, lawrence.

Speaker 2: 33:24

DrPaul, it's been wonderful. I love the chat on positivity. I love your connection to the court system and you sharing openly and honestly about the challenges of life and the positive outcomes that you're able to see because of the wonderful work that you're doing. And thank you so much for taking the time out and coming to play with us for a little bit, and I've got so many takeaways from you. Your mess becomes your message. I love that. We've got brain hacks, we got the gratitude power up and I'll put all different stuff in the show notes. Anyone that's following the show can find that stuff and DrPaul's information will be in the show notes the link to the mini book and his podcast and a couple of other things he's mentioned. So thank you. Thank you, drpaul, and hopefully we'll see you around the neighborhood sometime again.

Speaker 1: 34:07

Well, I look forward to it and you're welcome. It's been my honor and privilege to be here and to serve you, good people, today, and if I can be a further assistance, that's. I'm all in. That's great, wow.

Speaker 2: 34:21

That was fun today. Drpaul is a character. He's got some. He's got some wicked wisdom and I really appreciate that. I appreciate it when someone comes in and wants to talk about the reality and challenges of life and also the way that you can. You can look at life and it can be expensive to among the challenges. So I really appreciate that DrPaul's wisdom and experience and stories and everything that he got this year and I was really fun.

Speaker 2: 34:45

It was needed. It was needed for me to look at my life and some nuances that I'm not appreciating. So I'm going to walk away from from this today and go out and let someone know something I appreciate about and how about we do this? How about we do this as a community? Let's all agree, even though you're not here, but let's all agree anyway, virtually, or whenever you get to listen to this or if you ever get to listen to this. So let's say let's, let's go appreciate five people. Let's go appreciate five people that are in our life and let's think about something that we've just taken for granted and let's call them, text them, sit next to them on the bus, whatever it is, and just say, hey, wow, I really appreciate it.

Speaker 2: 35:25

When you took the time the other day to ask me how I was and you actually listened and even though I was having a really crappy day, it was great to have someone listen to. Or, you know, thanks. Thanks for offering me a cookie. You know, I'm not sure, I'm not sure what it is, but I think that's all beautiful and, yeah, a good show. And thanks for listening, watching whatever was you did and I know the stick gets old in my head and I don't particularly like it but subscribe, hit the subscribe button, share it with friends, share with families. You know we are a 501 feet free nonprofit and we could definitely use some help, whether you're able to donate funds, whether you're a grant writing, want to volunteer and help us figure out how to start raising some money so we can increase our services. We are doing it slowly, but we are a grassroots organization and we can use your help. So subscribe, like, share, tell your friends.

Speaker 2: 36:16

And, in case no one's told me yet today, I love you. I hope you're having a good day. You know, I'm hoping you have a good day and all those people in my life that have come into my path that have taken the time to let me know that they love me. I appreciate you, and I learned to tell the people I love you because you told me that you love me. So have a beautiful day. Everyone. See you around the block. Bye-bye. Thanks for taking the time to join me on this episode of Family Disappeared Podcast. Do you know someone who can benefit from what we're discussing on today's episode? If so, please share this podcast with them and anyone else in your community that might be interested in changing their lives. Together, we'll continue the exploring, growing and healing journey. I will see you on our next episode. Until then, happy days to all.