Little Age Buddies: Genuine Connections

In this episode, we'll be exploring the importance of helping your only child form meaningful friendships with kids of similar ages. As moms in new locations, we understand how valuable it is to build connections for our little ones and how it can positively impact their social experiences. Remember, it might take a few tries, but going back to activities or events multiple times is part of the process. Let's embrace the journey of supporting our kids as they make new friends and create cherished memories together. Together, we've got this! Join me as I share practical tips and heartwarming stories that will inspire you on this wonderful path of parenting in a new and exciting environment.

Transcript

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Hi, my name is Four, and welcome to The Love and Focus, the podcast for minds where we explore, discover, build community with our only child. Let's get going. Okay, you know what I mean. Let's start with the program. Oh my goodness. Building friendships uh for your child also takes time, and it depends too, depending on the age of your child. So for me, when Olivia was a toddler, I and I had my stay-at-home mom friends, and they had children. Okay, so all of them had multiple children, and but their ages were they were a lot older than Olivia. So when we would go and do activities together, I started to notice, and you might start to notice this as well. That well, for me, my only child, she started like this was fun, but I you know, there wasn't like a connection, not like if I compare it to me and my friends, I'm like laughing, not to say she wasn't laughing, but it was just uh a deeper connection, a friendship that I felt like Olivia really needed as well. So I started to be more mindful um when I started looking at community events and things that and places like what can I sign up with Olivia that we can go back multiple times where she can see children her age and then she can start build a connection with them and form friendships, but it didn't just work out straight away. I mean, um, like when I went to the library, and I'm gonna use the library a bit because at that stage we were going to the library a lot during her toddler stages, so we would go to the library and there was a specific age group, which was awesome because it meant that Olivia could hang out with the kids her same age, and then we kept going throughout that whole year, and then I started to notice, you know, within you know, a few months, probably within the first month of the children that she really gravitated to. Like when we saw her, she was like, Ah, there goes, and she'll say the kid's name, and she looked forward to it because she saw her friend, and she wants to sit with them and play with them and just follow them around the library, and vice versa. They could, you know, start like, Hey, there goes Olivia, and then I started to also build connection with that parent. Now, with that connection, sometimes it was more for Olivia, like me and that parent, we didn't like become best buddies, it was more of a we understood that it was for the children, but we wanted to um connect where you know, hey, um, are you coming back here next week? And I mean, it will it was like that. I remember this um dad and he had a at that time, an only child. No, actually, yeah. I don't know. Let me get my story straight. Anyway, a father and he would bring his daughter to the library, and Olivia and her, they just got on well. And so I would say, Hey, are you coming? You know, I would ask, are you coming back here next time? And um, you know, I would make sure the times that people came that I would I would be there because Olivia just really enjoyed it. Now I didn't always talk to the parents the whole time. I mean, because you know, A, sometimes I didn't want to, they didn't want to, so it wasn't it wasn't really for me. It was Olivia's time to have fun with her friends, her new friends, and then why keep coming back, um, you can just see how some of those friendships have developed into now she's six years old, and we still hang out with some of those, you know, one or two, one or two people, uh the families. But I just wanted to encourage you, depending on how old your child is, um that you and you're probably already doing this, you're probably saying, Yeah, you know, even though I have friends and they have children, and some of their kids are a lot older, my child um has a different interest, or depending on the scheduling, because oh my goodness, I don't know about you, but depending on when Olivia was having a nap, I wanted to have a nap, and I don't know, you know, isn't there saying like when your child sleeps, you sleep? Yeah, I I surely did that. I I didn't do any dishes, no vacuuming, no putting away laundry, nothing. I mean, when her little eyes started to close, boy, I am just carrying her up in her little bed and I'm going to sleep myself. I'm like, this is the time to go to sleep. The only thing is, I've carried that on. I'm still taking a nap, and she does not take a nap. So there you go. It's up to you what you want to do with your naps. And I was trying to come up with a um, you know, an acronym, and I think AI chat G T G P G C P okay, you know what I mean. I call them C P. Um, I think it I said, uh, is it necessary afternoon? Um, and I can't remember what the P was, maybe present or something. This is a necessary afternoon princess moment. Who knows what it is? But yeah, scheduling. And so it was really awesome because I find during that season when she was a toddler, that with uh my scheduling, generally the other family has the same schedule, you know, around nap times and time to lunch and things I gotta do. So it was really good and find out that mornings always work best for me and the other families. So that's what is um wonderful about it. Now, if your kid is a lot older, you know, is you're you're more flexible because there's no more nap time, and well, it depends, you know, if you're homeschooling or you're going to school and you're working full-time or part-time. But the what I wanted to share is that why you are building your friendships for yourself, is that you also um want to take some time to help your child build and connect with them, and that might mean mom going to the same place multiple times, and also it might mean that you might have to see that other family that you don't really have any um common thing other than your child likes their family, likes hanging out with that particular child, and that's okay. I mean, because you don't always have to um have like a deep connection, uh friendship. It could just be like um a light-hearted, hey, how you doing, how's the weather, and take a book or listen to my podcast or watch a movie, and that family will feel the same. I mean, you generally know who you want to, you know, you get some idea how you want to um, you know, if you hit it off of the other family, you know, the other parent or not, but I would say it's gonna take some time going back to the event, and then it might mean also that you gotta step out and help your child be introduced to that child multiple times, and I didn't know you're like, Oh my goodness, we're both shy. Well, I'm gonna let you know you can do it. I mean, you can remember, you just say, and I'm saying remember because if we check out the other podcast, just say hi, and kids are really good anyway. Little toddlers, I find at that stage, they just say hi or they smile, and when they look up to another child, and even if they don't say hi to a child, I know like some children like they'll just walk up, they generally walk up slowly, depending, and then they'll just you know stay close to the other children playing, and then they'll look up, and then they'll it's like okay, I'm gonna come and play with you, right? And you know, generally most times other children will say yeah, or they'll be like, Hey, why are you saying that? Just just go, just come and play with us. So children are really okay. So it's just the consistency of going back to that place where your child was having fun with the other child, and you know, in that area, and then you being the mom reaching out to the other parent and asking them um over time, like if they're after two or three weeks, you might get to know the parent, and then you know, I mean, you can just ask them beginning, oh my child really enjoyed playing, you know, with your kids, and or the parent, you know, if they're onto it, they'll just say, Hey, um, is that your child? They they might even ask questions about your little one, and then they'll might say, My my kid, I have like five kids, they might tell their story and say, Hey, it's your little one coming back here. So that's why it's really awesome. And don't be too difficult on your and I shouldn't say difficult, it's don't be too hard on yourself. Remember, um, if your child is, you know, not bonding with the other children, because it takes time too. I mean, we've been to places with Olivia, and those children should be like, no one played with me. But now we tell her, well, if you want a friend, you gotta be a friend. And so that is another discussion, too, around uh a six-year-old. But I'm really focusing on this episode of my toddlers and explore, take them to places where a you're gonna enjoy because if there are places where you absolutely do not go, but your child goals, you really got to ask yourself, am I how long am I gonna keep coming here? Because it is just driving me nuts. I don't know what a place where I wouldn't want to go to. I mean, maybe what's the place out there? Oh my goodness, I cannot believe she keeps liking this place and meeting children, and I am just not liking it. I don't know. Um, maybe I'll think about it later. But um generally, most times, well, actually, I just take it to places that I like. Yeah, so maybe that's the tip. Also, if you are able to, because you have transportation, uh you might want to it's best to start off to the places where um you know you sign up, where you're gonna at least enjoy it. If she's if she's gonna keep on going back each week, and because she started to form her form friends, you know, your your child, well, at least ask yourself before you sign up, is this the place I'm going to enjoy each week? Because you know, sometimes the the place where you go may not necessarily be for you, meaning you might not meet anyone, and sometimes there might be mums there that just are clicky and they're just not gonna talk to you for whatever reason. And I hope they do, but we all know sometimes they don't, so but at least you enjoy it and you see your child forming friendships, and you are just so happy for them because it warms your heart. Now, isn't that great when your child has a friend and they talk about them and they're giggling and laughing, and the other child just loves being around you around your child, and it just it really does, it really warms my heart. So, I hope this episode has been really helpful to you. Uh, just a reminder, you are doing a great job with the time that's given, and be kind to yourself because you are serving, you are building this community for you and your family. I mean, you are going out there smiling, meeting new people, engaging, building new connections, taking your time, and it takes a while. You're stepping out of your comfort zone, and then you're cleaning and you're cooking, and you're doing everything else, and I understand and I know what it feels like to miss your family, um, and your friends, your comfortable place, and now you're in this new place, and you're wondering, oh my goodness. I'm just gonna let you know, mom. I hear you, and I just want to say you are doing well, but just take it one day at a time for you and your only child. All you gotta do is find that go to a few places, remember, and um sign up for some events, or uh as best as you can if you can look for some places or activities that have um the same age for your child, and preferably sign up things that you know that you're gonna enjoy too. So, depending on what the activity is, you might have to sit and watch them do it, or if you can participate, depending on the age, you might have to, but if you're gonna go back all the time, at least you like it. So it's not so much, it's not a drain, it is an uplifting for you too. You get something out of it. That's all for today. My name is Four. Thank you for listening to my podcast, Love in Focus, Building a Community with Our Only Child. Thank you for subscribing and leaving a review. Bye.