Pre-Move Quick Connections: Building Community Before You Go

Moving to a new location with your family can be both exciting and daunting. In this episode, I explore two valuable tips to help moms with an only child build quick connections before making the big move. First, I discuss the importance of visiting the new location to gain a firsthand experience and get a better sense of what life will be like. This can lead to opportunities and insights that might not be available through social media or word of mouth. Second, I highlight the significance of connecting with people in the community. Building relationships early on can provide invaluable support and assistance once you've settled in. Tune in now and let's make your moving journey a smooth and connected one with Love in Focus: Building Community with an Only Child. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:02

Hi, my name is Foa, and welcome to The Love and Focus, the podcast for minds where we explore, discover, build community with our only child. Let's get going. Okay, you know what I mean. Let's start with the program. Oh my goodness. So you are going to a new location, you're moving to a new community or town, or for some, it's going to be a new country. And you know, there's a lot of questions and there's a lot of things put in place before you move. But I have found a few of these tips very helpful for me before I actually move. And the first one, if you are able to do this, and not everyone is able to, but if you can, can you and your family visit the location that you will be going to live in, like that your new place? And I say that is because it gives you time, you, your husband, and your child, time to really um you know get a sense of the of the place, the traffic, the community, the sounds, and I say all of that, your senses, because it depends, like sometimes the small things is like, oh my goodness, that I didn't know that at the time. For example, my when I was living in New Zealand, there are there's trains, like we have railway stations. But where I'm where I'm living now in America, Indiana, the town that I live in, we we don't live close to um a train station, but the railway tracks, I mean, it's not close, but it's close enough where you can hear trains, and they constantly I mean, there's a lot of trains always going by, so you hear choo-choo, choo-choo, and at first you're like, Oh my goodness, if you're not used to that, you're like, I didn't eat I didn't notice before because where I lived, there weren't a lot of trains, and I you know, I hardly I didn't hear them unless I was actually at the railway station. Well, here, if you're like, oh brother, what is all that's a lot of trains, and for you if you don't like that noise, it's gonna take some time. But at least when you go and if when you're staying at the location where you're going to be living in, unless you're like, Okay, um, eventually, you know, you just won't hear the trains as much. And the next one, too, is it helps, it gives your child um also to just see because yeah, you can show them pictures on YouTube, and you can even go to the library, or even have you know, auntie or uncle so-and-so talk about it, but it really doesn't um I feel like when you experience something, it's a like your senses are more aware of it, and so and it could be things like as well, driving, like driving in New Zealand versus driving in America is really different because um if you didn't know this, America drives on the right hand side, and New Zealand is the left, so yeah, it's a criss-cross applesauce, meaning like where is the steering wheel, depending on what country you uh you know you're staying or living in. You're you're wondering where's the steering wheel when you hop inside the car. So that was me, and sometimes I do that every now and then. You know, here in America, I sit on the passenger side and like, oh, that's right, I'm not in New Zealand. The steering wheel's on the other side, yeah. So I tell mums, um, you know, I I give them the encouragement. If you can, are you able to go? You and your family are able to go and visit that place, and that way you all get to see it, feel it, smell it, everything. Um, and then there might be some questions that you didn't, you know, didn't have before that you can talk over with your um husband, and maybe your child has some good questions about hey, did you guys think about this? Or depending how old they are. So the next step or the next um tip I always ask moms, um, are you able to communicate with anyone in that new community? For example, so when I was moving, transitioning into America, I was moving to America, um, what I did in my trips is that I would meet with my husband's pastor, um, you know, his Bible study leaders, and also I'm getting to know his family. I am, you know, building my connections before I am moving there, and that gave me um the you know, I needed to see, you know, what what they were like, you know, did they like me? Did I like them? Well, obviously, they did like me because I'm I've been here for 16 years, but my pastor in New Zealand at the time, uh Stu Henderson, shout out to him. He said that because I was leaving my old community and going into a new community, they would be my community. And so you wanted to see if that is the community that you wanted to build connections and make deeper, you know, build a deeper relationship with, you know, connections and and so then it'll give you a more awareness of what kind of place you're really going into if you can do it. So I always encourage mums to say, hey, for example, if you go to a church, you're currently going to a church right now attending in the new location where you're going, are you able to speak to the pastor or associate pastor, someone in that leadership that you can just either zoom or call if you're not able to go when you go and visit that place physically, and that way you can, you know, you can decide like, yeah, you know, I was talking to this person, it's a yes or no, or you can try multiple different places, you know, over the phone, or look them up on Facebook. But I would recommend going this step further to talk to the person, and that way, or even emailing, it's like I can't talk, but it's because I'm a little bit shy, and I get that. And the reason why is because in your location where you're going to, depending on remember that you may not know anyone, when you go there, you want to have people that you've already made little connections with, so it's not so you are have um, so it's not going to take you long, at least you know one or two people that you can connect, and if you have any questions and you're wanting to know about some things about the location that you didn't know before, because things might pop up that you weren't sure. At least that person can be a reference until you make um meet new people and you get to know things, and also if you're like, Well, I don't belong to a church right now, that's okay. Um, do you play any sports? Or once again, what are you currently doing? Does your child play any sports? Can you ring the sports team in that area? And you can put one or two, or whatever, you can bring all of them up, and you can just get a feel for them while you're talking to with them, and that way there's a connection too, and so uh only like, well, I don't play any sports, my child is not of that age. Well, I'm gonna ask again, okay. Well, let's go back to the basics. How old is your child? If they don't do anything right now, they're like, um, you know, um, maybe they're like, Well, we're toddlers, you know, the toddler. I'm always gonna say, Did you check out the library if you have the library? Or you know, you go to the farmer's market, but there's a farmer's market here. Okay, can you go on Google and look at the farmer's market? It's somewhere that you can see, or when you do go to the farmer's market, if you're able to get um go to the place and visit them if you're able to, right? Um, tick the places that you go to in your community. So when you go to the new community, you can see what they're like. Um, and then I would make maybe make some um like have some names down and say, well, why would I do that? It's because um you're exploring the new land where you're going, you're discovering new connections, and so it won't be like a shock, won't be like, oh my goodness, husband's gone to work. Um, and I don't know anyone. Like, uh there's I don't even know how how far the mall is or the gas station or the shop or the school. I mean, you you're just like, I don't know, but in some cases, it might be that it might be because you didn't um for whatever circumstances you just weren't able to explore, discover, look. It was just a quick, we gotta go. This is a wonderful opportunity that came out for our family. So we're just leaping in with faith, and that's okay, it will work out, it'll work out because remember, you are doing the best you can with the time that's given. And so, my encouragement to you is and I always tell mom, if mums, if you're able to um just do some prep work, um, find out a little bit further, and I always say, meaning, when I say a little bit further, maybe call that person where you speak to your human being. Yeah, if you can talk to a human being in that location, um, and reach out and let them know, and just ask questions. I don't know, you'll know what kind of questions that um once you get to know the place, then it gives you an idea of the people that are there in your location. I hope that makes sense. And I'm gonna let you know, yeah, it's gonna be tough, and there'll be times I understand when you cry and you wonder why. Wonder why, but I'm gonna let you know that it is going to be okay. You you are going to be okay because it takes time. Remember, it takes time to build community, and you've done the best you can. You have done your best doing your prep work. Now it's not all going to be perfect, there's going to be some bumpy roads, and things pop up like, oh my goodness, I didn't realize how far um everything was. Like you say, okay, I'm so used to like a five-minute or 10-minute walk down the road, and now it actually takes 20 or 30 minutes walking distance, and the roads is not like, oh my goodness, the roads are different from where I from where I live, or there's a lot more dogs in that area, or cats. Not to say anything about dogs or cats, but where you're staying, if you're able to, you know, go and visit the place, you're like, oh wow, this is it's a lot different from you know, from reading YouTube or Googling or reading a book or asking someone. So I hope that encourages you. It's just two quick tips, and just letting you know that it's I tell mums, hey, be kind to yourself because you are you know you're doing the best, and I keep saying that, and mom, you are doing a great job, you really are, and I want you to tell yourself look, look at the mirror with the pod with your earbuds, or if you can't, that's all right, but just tell yourself that you are a wonderful mom to your only child, and it's gonna be okay, you know. It's seriously, you are the best mom for this child, and that's what my my sister has always told me. She said, You are the best mama for your child, and you are doing so good. I mean, you are a wonderful cheerleader to your husband, you're building connections with new people, you've put in the work, and just enjoy the adventure. And so when you meet these new people in the new community, just let them know hey, we're we're planning on moving here. It might be like, well, I don't know if we might be moving to another six months or year or three months, whatever the time frame is, as long as you have reached out to them and you know you've planted a little seed of friendship, it takes time to water that plant. And so when you do decide to move with you and your family, because you know you've met them, you know, you've talked to them, you sent them, and you built a little communication um tour, and they have also replied back to your questions. It's really good because if there's anything that you need, and you just let them know, hey, if there's any further questions, will I be able to call you when we move there? Or will because you might they might say, Hey, I was thinking of you, and so you and your family, I know you hadn't said this, but we thought this might be something else that you like to enjoy or see, and so I'm just letting you know stepping out and little steps is awesome, and so that would help you to connect a lot quicker, so you don't have to do a lot of the hard groundwork and starting from scratch. But if you are starting from scratch and you weren't able to um go and visit the location, or you weren't able to go and find someone um to connect with that's okay, that happens too. I'm just letting you know it's gonna be okay and it'll work out, okay. Thank you for listening to Love and Focus Building Community with an Only Child. I'm for and I just want you to know you can do it, mom. Okay, so keep smiling. Thank you for listening to my podcast. Bye.