Choose the Fun You Love: Games for Both You and Your Child

"In this episode of Love in Focus: Building Community with an Only Child, I'm diving into a topic close to our hearts – finding the perfect balance in playtime! We'll explore shared activities, where both you and your child can genuinely have a blast. I'll share practical ideas for games and board games that ensures everyone's joy throughout the activity. Let's discover the joy of bonding through play and create times that you both treasure. Tune in for tips on turning playtime into quality time!"

Transcript

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Hi, my name is Four and welcome to The Love and Focus, the podcast for minds where we explore, discover, build community with our only child. Let's get going. Okay, you know what I mean. Let's start with the program. Oh my goodness. Do you enjoy playing games with your child? But sometimes, depending how long the game goes for or the activity that you're doing at home with your child, you're like, when is this gonna end? I have like either lots of things to do, I got there goes that laundry, the dishes, cleaning, emails. Like I got a lot, and those are the things I'm just gonna talk about. Or you're like, no, it doesn't matter how long we play every day, I'm gonna play like for hours and hours. If you are that mom with an only child, this episode may not be for you because what I say might be annoying, because you're like, really? And that's okay. So if you're like, but if you're like, uh, yeah, there's some games I'm like, uh, they go on a little bit longer, you know, for like 40 minutes for two hours, uh then wow came. This is that episode, and I'm gonna give you some encouragement of what I find that has been helpful for me when I'm playing with Olivia. So Olivia, we have she loves horses, like I love my chippies, and so when we're playing, of course, you have your horses, you gotta have the riders, and you gotta have the saddles that go with the horses and the barn and the uh you know the arena and all the animals on the farm. So here's where I come along. I am the person she epics one rider, her favorite rider, and her horse, and then I am the rest of the animals, the riders and the horses. Now, can you imagine me doing all the voices for all these animals, horses, birds, you name it? If you see it, and it can make a sound, even the vehicles, I'm that person. And sometimes, after like 40 minutes, probably going for an hour, an hour and a half, this mama gets tired. And I'm like, Oh my goodness, can we play something else? And most times she'll be like, Ah, I'm really having fun. I mean, after two hours, my daughter will be like, Okay, Mommy, we can do something else. And I'm like, Woo! Now I found a way for me when we're playing with horses and we're doing this imaginary play with this particular play, I was like, Hey, how do why don't we always we always do a show? Because when you do a horse show, it comes with music, and depending on what music you're playing, it could be for like two or three minutes per rider. But for some reason, when it comes to my rider and their horses, my riders tend to fall off and they don't really complete the show, but her rider would just go on and win that competition, so that's the funny thing. But what I've also found out that out of all the games we've played in the board games, you know, not board as in oh my board, I have nothing to do, but the board as in B-O-R-D, I really um well, I it's not really a board game, or is it it's um guess who? The guess who game. Um, I really enjoy it because I keep losing, not on purpose, but my daughter beats me all the time, and we can play that for like a good hour, and I'm really enjoying it. Now, there's some times where I if I go upstairs and I go to the bathroom, I'm like, Did you look at it? She'll be like, No, but you can tell, like every now and then she'll be like, Yes, I did, and I have to change my character. But otherwise, I mean, I really enjoy so there are some activities, and I wanted to share this with you because you know, I when Olivia was a toddler, and any game she wanted to play, boy, I was there. I played that game until I couldn't like, oh my goodness, I wasn't doing anything. I was just like, whatever you want, mama's there. You want to play a game, mama's there. You want to paint, mama's there. And I wasn't picking any games or any activities that I enjoyed, I just wanted to make sure she was happy, which is fine, and I get it. So if you're at that stage and you just want to do that, it's go ahead. But I'm just want to encourage you after a while. For my experience, I started to like, I'm tired and I want to do what I need to get things done, or I'm just tired, and I just want to have a coffee or have a little have a little break, and it is okay. So I learned from my sister, Maureen, who also encouraged me, it is okay for your child to have a quiet time, to find something to do on their own. You know, they're in a safe place, you're both in the same room, you can see each other, and she's got toys. And so we started off very small, like maybe 20 minutes, and that's small for me. Probably 10 minutes, really. If you look, I felt like 20, but it's really 10 minutes. I don't know why I said that, but yeah, we started off like okay, you can hear some books, and you can read this on your own, just quiet time, and I for me it was teaching her that you don't need to rely on someone or something to be entertained all the time every day a hundred percent. That you have built a skill that you can find something to do, you can do something on your own, you can think, you can look around the house, or in your room, or in the lounge, because we have lots of toys everywhere. People who come to my home are like, yeah, um, we're like a museum, a child's museum. There's always something things to do, even in the corridor. We have things you can do that you can create, you can innovate, you can just take time and think without me having to tell you what to think. So we are still learning. Do I say I have this perfectly down? No, her and I are still learning how we can do this together, but it's an encouragement for you, mom, if you're saying, uh, I don't know because my child will cry. I get it. Olivia did not like it. She was like, What? Quiet time? I have to do things by myself. And I'm like, Yeah, I've played with you for two hours. Mommy's gonna have a little break, or even an hour. I'm gonna have a little break. I'm still here. I want you to find something quiet, meaning you're not interrupting me all you're not interrupting me. Quiet time means you can find something. You might something you might stay, um, whatever time works for you, it could be 30 minutes, it could be 10 minutes, whatever works for you in your small step with your child, and it's age-appropriate time, then I would encourage you to do that while they're young because as they get older, now Olivia's six years, she's six years old, she can do something on her own in like two to three hours, and for us that's good. I mean, other families might say, Oh, my child can do something on their own longer than that. Well, um, I started a little bit late teaching her. I had to work this through, mom. So, but it's such an encouragement, and also another thing as well finding an activity that you both enjoy. Now, I would rather play, guess who, most times than other activities that she picks, and she knows that. So, she'll be like, Mom, okay, I know you don't want to play this game. Do you want to play this? And I'd be like, sure. So we have two or three games that we both really enjoy doing, and so if she she'll say, Well, after dinner or after bath time or after a quiet time, can we please do this together? And uh, it makes me uh appreciate that she's actually thinking of me instead of saying, I want you to do this, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna. Like, ooh, all those things just makes me want to go and have a um chippies because now I've got to help you understand how you're coming across as just um we can approach it in a different way, and I'm learning as well. And so, mums, that's just my encouragement that you can do that as well. Come up for the game, come up for an activity. There's age pro and I say age appropriate because you know you know your child, you know what interest they have. You want to pick something that you enjoy doing, but you know they will enjoy doing it as well, but you can do it together, so it's not always about them, unless you enjoy um just all the games that they pick, and you really have fun, then once again, go what works for you. Because, you know, the point is of this episode is that when you're spending time, your actions speak louder than words, and so um, and you know what, because we've moved into a new community and a new place, or we're in a new season, you know, with our only child, and so and you're spending time, you how you come across as well, and sometimes it's not even about words, it's your body language. And I'm laughing because sometimes my body language, like, yeah, I want to play, but my body language is saying, No. So because I, you know, experienced that, I thought, well, why don't I do something about it? How about because I'm the you know, I'll just pick, I'll come up with some few games as well, some activities, and see if if she enjoys it, we can do this together. And that way uh she knows she has her games that she really enjoys or activities, and then she has mommy and her, and so and that way she can she can pick, and it's just fun watching her to pick. Um, you know, she'll pick some of the things that I enjoy as well to do together, which teaches them once again, it's not always about you, it's about thinking about the other person as well. So, mom, I appreciate you so much. Uh, moms who are listening. I truly do. I get excited because one, I always want to encourage you, you are a wonderful mother to the child that you have. You are doing the best you can with the time that's given. You're doing the housework, you're working, you're supporting, you're an encourager, and those are the things that I know that you do. And so, because you're listening to uh this episode, I wanted you to hear my heart just how much of an awesome and loving person you are. And I tell mums all the time, if you want to have a friend, be a friend, but that also means to be a friend to yourself, be kind, give yourself grace, you know, and enjoy the laughter. Someone's like, Oh my goodness, what was that all about? And it's okay um to tell yourself, like, whoa, I think I might need a little bit of a break or a coffee or a cake or maybe a fruit or salad, whatever. Like, and it's okay to have a quiet time, you know, it's okay to uh for your child age appropriate, what time that is for you, and our activity for me when I'm having a quiet time, what works for Olivia and I is our quiet time is always in the same room. It could be in the kitchen, it could be um just like sitting at the kitchen table, just you know, having coffee, eating my chips, and she's she can see me. Um, because our kitchen and lounge is an open space, she's playing with her toys, and she knows okay, mommy needs some time just to, you know, quiet time is and she might be the same, she'll be like, eh, it's quiet time for me. I've never actually heard her say I need like uh mommy, I'm gonna have quiet time. She might say, I need to be quiet because I'm talking too much, but it's never I maybe when she when she says I'm gonna have quiet time, maybe that's when I'll be saying, Well, here we come, folks. She's actually saying she wants to spend time, she wants to make sure that I'm not bothering her or interrupting her too much. So, and I love about this because you got to love. So, mums, thank you for listening to love and focus, and it's the podcast where we explore, discover, and build community with that with our only child, and we're doing this keeping love in focus one episode at a time. This is for like the number four subscribe or like, leave a feedback, and I appreciate you. You are amazing, mom. Till next time, bye.