Embracing Change: Finding a New Rhythm at Work

Welcome back to Love in Focus: Building Community with an Only Child! In Episode 18, I share my journey of returning to work part-time and finding a new rhythm that works for both my professional and personal life. From adjusting housework routines to embracing a new work wardrobe. This episode is all about encouraging fellow moms with an only child to try something new, whether it's a small or significant step. Ready to embrace the new? Tune in now!

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:02

Hi, my name is Four and welcome to The Love and Focus, the podcast for Mans where we explore, discover, build community with our only child. Let's get going. Okay. You know what I mean. Let's start with the program. Oh my goodness. Hi, yes, I'm back. So um for the past two months, I have been working part-time, and I have so many things to share. Um, what's it like building a community with an only child while working part-time? And so my daughter is six years old and working part-time. What have I learned in the last two months about being a mum with an only child? First of all, I learned I'm tired, and the dishes do not get done as quickly as they would have. Not that I did it quickly before, but there are some things that I've just had to let go of my schedule and find a new rhythm. So if you are thinking about going to work part-time, mama, I'm just giving you a heads up that you will um find a new rhythm in your schedule. For example, my daughter, she has uh quite a few school activities and not only school activities, but fun things that she likes to do, like horse riding, swimming, and uh dancing, and then I have other commitments too after work, and so uh, you know, finding a new rhythm and then coming home, and if I'm cooking dinner and still doing the laundry, you know, this is what I noticed since working part-time. I have not like played with her like I did. And if you listen to my earlier episodes, I talked about some of the games that we would play just one-on-one. I've noticed that that has not been the case in the past two months, and it's because when we get when I get home from work, I pick her up and then we're on a go, we're doing things, and then the days where I am not, like there'll be one, for example, on a Wednesday, I'll pick her up and we don't have anywhere to go, or okay, if we're doing shopping, but if we're not, then I just want to come home, have a cup of tea, and just either eat something while I'm having a cup of tea, watch a movie, or just put my feet up and close my eyes and catch my breath for a little bit before I do, you know, cook dinner or anything. I just need like I just need to put my feet up for a little bit. But then I I started to notice, I said to my husband, you know what? I Olivia and I don't play as much. And she had mentioned that uh last week there was a day where uh like I said, her and I weren't doing anything, we had an early dinner, and she was like, Mom, can we play together? and I was like, you know what, I can really use this time to have a nap or watch a movie, read a book, have a long cup of tea. I mean, and just relax. And she was like, Mom, please, please. And I was thinking, you know what, sure. So once again, you know, I was how many characters? Probably about six, six or seven characters doing all the different voices, you know, and she was a school teacher, and of course, you know, the play, uh playtime was about imaginary imagination playtime was we're at um horse camp, but that's what I noticed, and we played for an hour, and then she was okay. Um, because I I timed it, I had it myself on because I thought, okay, I'll play with you in an hour. I I told myself because I needed to cook dinner. Um, I didn't want to have dinner too late. It was a school night as well, and I noticed that, and it was okay. Then I realized how much um time that I schedule in for other things, and how much time, you know, playtime is less now. And I wonder if it's because a I come home, you know, as you do, and if you're not going anywhere, if she doesn't have any events or activities to go to, you cook dinner, and then if you can connect over dinner at the dinner table, and then you do uh either, you know, her and her dad will um do their activity and I clean up what we clean up as a family, you know. Do we really clean up? I don't think I'm just the one cleaning up. I mean, I guess they'll clear the table. But if my husband's listening, he'll be like, hey, I actually do clear the table, and every now and then, you know, Olivia will pick up something. But um, yeah, so I noticed, and I wonder if if that's for you. Like since you also work part-time, do you find yourself some things that you don't do as much as you did before? Like I've noticed for me, it's playing with my daughter, and I've got to be, I wanna be more aware of it because it does fill her love bucket, and so I I enjoy filling her love bucket and just finding that rhythm where um she's looking forward to winter because where we where we live, it's going it snows during the winter, and so she's like, Mom, I can't wait, because you know, we're out there, you know, we're building a big snowman or a big hill, and we're going down it, and then we're going onto the onto the neighbor's yard. So she is looking forward to that playtime. And I in some ways, yeah, but then other ways we're like, oh my goodness, like sometimes when we play, we can be out there like two or three hours, depending if it's not that cold. But if it's cold and it's lots of snow, we'll be all bundled up. You got your snow pants on, your gloves, your snow gloves. And this is a tip. Uh, for me, I like to put like a glove, you know how you get those plastic gloves if you're um I don't know, plastic glove, and then you put on your snow gloves, because sometimes depending on what glove you're wearing, your snow glove, and if you're out in the snow, um, it can eventually your fingers get cold, even with really good snow gloves, and then it gets wet, and then your fingers get really cold. So we like to put our plastic gloves on first and then put our snow gloves on so to protection, so it doesn't get now. You might say, My hands might get sweaty. Well, there you go. There goes a tip. If you don't want sweaty hands, or if you do get sweaty hands, I'm just letting you know. So, yeah, uh, and also with a part-time job, because I really enjoy what I do, um, I love it, and so um I found something that fills my love tank as well, career-wise. And if you can do that, um, it really helps for me, it helps um when I come home because I'm not like, ugh. I mean, don't get me wrong, I I I do get tired, but it's a different kind of tired. Um, I'm trying to think of a job that I didn't enjoy, and I'm like, came home like, that is it. I can't take it anymore. I don't think I mean I'm sure there were some days where it's because of the situation, but it wasn't the job itself per se, like every day. And I know there are some people that do have jobs and they're like, you know, this is not my dream job, or I just cannot do it anymore, but I gotta pay the bills or whatever. I'm just letting know that in my situation, in my uh during this season, I'm just blessed, I'm able to find something that I actually love doing, and so coming home, um I'm not worn out, I'm just physically got sore feet or physically like I'm just like, oh my goodness, I just need a breather because I've been talking to a lot of people, and so um, and one of the things for me, a tip is I've always liked to work close to home. Now I've been very blessed, and when I mean close, I generally in my jobs I don't like to travel more than 20 minutes, and I've always been like that, and I've noticed. So maybe because I don't like to um spend that a lot of time in the vehicle getting to work, if I can make it under 20 minutes, that's the longest. I'll think about that job because I know I tell myself, hmm, I'm gonna be there a lot, and last thing I want to be is drive to work. But for some of you, you might think it's relaxing, and I like doing that. I like that long drive back and listen to my music, and I can sing my songs and just be what by myself, and that's your time. You can just like uh just breathe in, breathe out. But for me, the sooner I get home, um, I love it. So if I can and because where I work, it's only 10 minutes drive, and that's on a really um that's because the traffic is long, it's a busy traffic, so under 10 minutes is great, and what I've also noticed about finding my new rhythm is to be kind to myself. I've been kind, like really giving myself permission if things don't get done around the house, and I've just had to let that go. But for my friends who are listening, they're like, seriously, I think you've let go of some other things. This is letting go. I thought things were let go before, meaning, um, oh yeah, things like oh, I was gonna clean out the garage, or you know, that corner was piling up with the laundry, or oh, I was gonna get all that paperwork, all the you know, drawings, you know, f cleaning out the toy cupboard. Yeah, since working, I haven't been as active about clearing out things, and I've just had to say to myself, you're the best mum for your child, and right now what you can do for yourself is have a cup of tea and just reflect on the goodness and maybe just do one small thing that pick up one thing and remind everyone else to pick up one thing. And so because Olivia's of age and reminding her, hey, you know, we're part of a family, we are a family, and you know, giving her the responsibility of uh that she can do it, she can clean up as well, you know, that helps out a lot. So I wanted oh, and what I love about you know uh working part-time is the clothes. And so I've I've I'm having to dress more of a professional, you know, having nicer office clothes. I've worked in factories where I I'm comfort more than um so I would like to wear generally my sweatshirt, you know, my comfy pants, you know, a hoodie or a long t-shirt, always hair in a bun. Always have my hair because it's just my to-go-to, no matter what. Um baggy clothes, because I can eat, you know, during lunch time and not having to worry about is my pants or t-shirt gonna be too tight, but not to say, since you know, working part-time in a new job, and the job requires me to um uh uh dress differently, I I've really enjoyed um having uh new clothes that look practical but also stylish and comfortable. Now, if you're listening and you have an office job, you're like, are you seriously? Like you did not know that you can be comfortable wearing office clothes? No, because that was never my style. My style was always like you know, sweatsho, sweatpants or yoga pants, not yoga pants, but you know, really comfortable elastic pants with elastic, you know, and a hoodie or something, not pajamas, but just comfortable clothes, and if you got something spilled on, that was fine. So that's really but me now for the 2023, the past two months, I have looked, my style is more professional, and I'm loving it, I'm loving it, and my grandmother's taking me shopping, and if you can find someone, so this is an encouragement. If you are like me, and you get a job and you're thinking, Oh my goodness, I've never dressed a certain way, like whatever job of maybe you're going into uh a more of a professional, you know, office environment and you're not used to it. And if you can find a friend or a family member that um has a good eye for that, you know, I would recommend you know ask them to take your shopping or ask them if they can't come with you, you know, I would ask them, you know, what kind of what kind of styles would you think that would look good on me? And for example, my grandmother, she had picked like a plaid top and it had a bow at the bottom, and it wasn't the plaid was like a grey pink, but it wasn't too like bazaar, I don't know, didn't stand out. And I was like, that is not me. Oh my goodness, had kind of like puffy sleeves, but the material is so comfortable, and she was like, just put it on, oh and she said, and put these black pants on, it'll look really nice and sharp. And if you get a necklace, and I was thinking, what the heck? But I tried it and I was like, Okay, I think this could work, and she picked some other outfits, and I was like, Are you sure, grandma? And she goes, Look, you look lovely, and then I wore it to work, and I was getting so many compliments, and I was like, My grandmother, you know, she's so stylish, she picks a lot of my clothes for me, and so here is an encouragement when you take someone, um, and I hope that what they're telling you is like a good look, like that you know, they have a good heart and they want you to look your best because you know they want you to um you know, they see like oh this outfit looks lovely on you. You know, I would encourage you just to try something new and just go for it. Now, me, I that was really out of my comfort zone, so not only am I working in um in a new place and it's a new environment, you know, I'm trying something new with the clothes as well, and I put on lipstick. Hello. Now if you're like, oh, I put on lipstick all the time. Well, I have started putting on just like a nice, not too bright, a little make my lips either like a pinky, like a nice red that doesn't stand out too much because it's a day look. I put some, you know, um, what do you call eyebrow? So my eyebrows stand out, you know. I just put some makeup on my face, not too much because I still sweat. Um, it really makes a difference, and so I wanted to encourage you, have fun and do something. Um, I really encourage you to do something new. Um, if you're in this, you know, you're looking, or maybe you like, you know what? I'm not I don't have I don't want to get a part-time job yet, or even a full-time job. Well, maybe putting on lipstick is something new for you and for those who are doing lipstick, I don't know, maybe it's a different shade of color. I would just encourage you to try something new, and you might want to start something small, like you say, Well, where am I gonna put lipstick on? Like, I have nowhere to go. Well, how about you try putting lipstick on? And you want people to see it when you go to the shop or when you go and put guests in your car, picture on your car, or even when you walk down the street or go to the park. Now, for those who put lipstick on, you're like, really? Is that a big deal? Well, for some others, it could be something else for you, it could be a new color. Like you've always like if you always wore a certain color, like a pastel color, this season, you're like, hmm, okay, I'm gonna try something new. I'm gonna I try a bright color, or instead of a pastel blue, you're gonna go for pink. I don't know, or you might go for a um a bright orange, and just give it a go. And if you're like, I don't want to give it a bright orange, well, maybe you try wearing orange socks or a jewelry, and the reason why I say it is because you might have fun, you might have fun doing something new, and it might spark something, I don't know. Or so this job, this part-time job that I've started in the last two months, it has open uh different ways, um, like how I dress, putting makeup on, um, finding my rhythm with my house chores, cooking. Um, okay, really am I cooking? No, it just means like um going to the restaurants or you know, going to grandma and she cooks and we're just eating at her house. But I just wanted to let you know that it takes time and I you know I could say yeah, everything works out perfectly and it all came together nicely. No, mm-mm. I just uh had to work out some kinks, and one thing I did notice as well is like I either oh I started going to bed a lot earlier. Uh because usually before um I didn't have part-time job. I mean, I I go to bed late, like I love to stay up late, like um early hours in the morning, and now I don't do that because I know I gotta get to work in the morning, and working part-time meaning I only work 20 hours, which suits me just fine for the season I'm in, and also um what else do I what's I would tell you because Olivia is six years old, she's able to, for example, you know, get her breakfast ready, meaning she can get her cereal and milk, you know, she's not frying her own, you know, she's not frying eggs or she could make the toast herself, but I haven't showed her where how to do that. Uh I should do that now that I think about it. And so there's a lot of things that she can do, um, which is good. So where she's at, and it just it's um it helps a lot where I am in season. I'm uh because you know, she's of a certain age and she's doesn't need my help and you know, just a lot of the things around little basic things like brushing her teeth, getting dressed, you know, she can put get her own washing and things like that. That helps me out a lot. That's why I decided to get a part-time job, and because I always wanted to I knew I wanted to work and go back to work, I just wasn't sure the timing because I needed to find you know a part-time job because I still wanted to pick Olivia up from school, I wanted to be part of her after school activities, and also um I wanted to be home with her as well, so my job gives me the flexibility to enjoy what I do, and also um I can pick her up and drop her off at school and um still do shopping and be home with her, you know, uh in the evenings. Now I understand that in some situations uh um that's not always the case because uh depending on where you're at in life, but um I hope that you're able to find um uh a job that is you know that works with your family schedule, you know, while you're raising your only child, because it is a lot of work and I yes, I still have that support from still very blessed with my in-laws and my grandparents, my husband's grandparents, um, and they are so supportive. So if I needed someone, you know, to help pick up Olivia from school, which I haven't yet, but if I did, then she would have I would have my husband's family. So I'm very blessed about that. It still takes a lot of work, doesn't it, to um raise an only child with um, you know, while working part-time. And boy, mums who've been doing this for a while, I mean, I just congratulate you seriously. I mean, well, if I could give you a hug, I would give you a hug because I am two months into this, like I am still learning, and so I wanted to share this journey, and just to just to say how much that I really honor, you know, you for listening to this episode, and I just want to remind you that you are the best mom for your child, you absolutely are, you know, you are giving your time to your work, to your family, um, to your community, and to yourself. And I wanted to encourage you to, as you're being kind to yourself, um, please take the time to do something you enjoy, whatever that is. It may be something simple, maybe getting a massage, it may be just wearing a lipstick that you've always wanted to wear, or even just I don't know, buying something yummy, like if you walk past a pastry store, you're thinking, you know what, I've never purchased that yummy coffee cake or that yummy like pastry with the chocolate or the strawberry, and you keep going by it, and it might be a little bit expensive, and you're like, you know what? I'm gonna treat myself, and I'm just gonna purchase that for me. Buy it. As long as it's you're not going in debt. Now, I'm thinking of pastry, I don't know how much pastry, how much it costs, but um, you know what really you should buy. I don't want to be like, hey, this lady told me spent a thousand dollars on a on a uh ice cream. No, I'm not saying that. You know what your what your um budget is. You need to be wise, but I wanted to say uh to treat yourself um and to do something fun for you, and to continue to say that you are awesome. Now you remember you are doing the best you can with the time that's given, and you are such a wonderful mom, you truly are like as you look at your child and you're loving on them, it's such a you know joy because you know you are the best role model, you are absolutely um uh a beautiful reflection of what love is, you radiate with just a yummy, beautiful aroma that fills the room with joy, smiles, and love. That's what you are, and so as you're listening to this podcast, I just want to say that you uh as you get yourself ready in the mornings to go to work, or as you are uh taking time for yourself what you're listening to this podcast, or you're driving to work, or you're taking your child to school, uh give yourself a hug. Oh, and I was listening to this podcast, Anita Phillips, Dr. Anita Phillips, and she said 20 minutes, uh not sorry, not 20 minutes, 20 seconds of a good hug is so good for you. And so if you can give your child a 20-second hug, give yourself or give yourself a 20-second hug, or your husband a 20-second hug, may it fill your love tank. And so I just want to say thank you for listening to my podcast, Love and Focus, Building Community Um with an Only Child one episode at a time. I am so happy that you have been listening, we've been together on this journey, and I will see you in the next episode. For those who are watching on YouTube, and for those who are listening audio, I'll catch you in the next episode. This is four. Thank you for liking and thank you for subscribing to my podcast. Bye.