Embracing the New Year, go slow and steady with intentional dating

Ready to transform your dating life as we ring in the New Year? I'm Renee Richel, and in our latest heart-to-heart, I reveal the secrets to intentional dating that could lead you to the love story you've always dreamed of. Imagine taking a journey within, becoming a true connoisseur of your own desires, and learning the art of transparent communication. It's all about pacing yourself, sharing your dreams and core beliefs from the get-go, and making sure that you're building a relationship on the solid ground of compatibility. If you're single and ready to mingle with a purpose or just curious about refining your approach to finding that special someone, these insights are your golden ticket.

As we wrap up this soul-stirring episode, remember that our next meeting is all about you – your questions, your curiosities, your unique voice. Your participation is the heartbeat of our community. Whether you met someone over the holidays or you're stepping out into the dating scene with fresh eyes, I'm here to nurture your journey. So, reach out with your thoughts, and let's make our next conversation one that resonates even deeper. Until then, keep the love flowing, stay inspired, and guard your heart with wisdom. XOXO.

Transcript

Renee Richel: 0:07

Hi, I'm Renee Richel, the founder and president of 1 True Match. I'm here to help you find and cultivate the love of your life. For over a decade, I've dedicated my life to the importance, purpose and dynamic of human relationships. My team and I are disciplined by faith, love and integrity to help our clients find the quality relationship they've always dreamt of. Each week, I will be sharing the tools and tips I've learned that have rooted my success as a matchmaker with other leaders around the world. Hello, loves, happy New Year.

Renee Richel: 0:42

I am so excited to be sitting here with you in a brand new year, and some of you believe in New Year's resolutions, some of you don't, some of you care, some of you don't. Anyways, what we're going to talk about today are some tips that I think are very helpful, and the number one thing that is just resonating in my own heart and life that I am going to take in thrives and in my own advice right to excel at this coming year is, instead of what we typically do is rev up, speed up, try to do all these new things right in a new year to improve what we've done in the past, but I'm here to actually give the opposite advice, which is to slow down and actually focus on one or two things and do it really really well. To be a master of your own life, you have to obviously be really good at what you do. So I think part of the reason why we don't really like New Year's resolutions is because half of them we start off high and then we never finish them, because maybe we've set our expectations way too high, or I know, this time of year our team talks about it all the time and so, like Renee, you need to do this podcast. For sure is that we get overwhelmed. And then there's the stress and the anxiety of the holidays, and they didn't maybe go the way that we were hoping, just for the sake that we put too much on our plate. So this year I am going to push you to actually slow down, put more focused resolutions on your plate, and this one is particularly for my singles. So the advice that I'm going to give today is for our singles, and I'm going to do one on couples afterwards, because maybe you've met somebody over the holiday or you're starting a relationship, so I'm going to get right into it and share with you some tips and things that will definitely give you, hopefully, something to think about and put on your New Year's resolution list for 2024. So, number one it is okay to just enjoy the experience. So what I was just saying earlier, it's important to slow down a little bit.

Renee Richel: 2:49

This year. I am encouraging all of our singles, which I feel like I say this all the time go slow and steady, like date. Slow for once. I think so many times in today's day and age everybody is just quick today, go to the next person, go to the next person and they're not really getting the quality. Obviously, as a matchmaker and just in general what we do interviewing people all day long, we have to go through a very long and, I would say, informative session of getting to know each individual, and not only do we take our job serious to get to know each heart and who they are, we also spend a lot of time focusing on compatibility, and so this year I really encourage you to date slow and steady. Obviously, we always say date with intention or don't date at all, but it's really important early on.

Renee Richel: 3:46

As we're going to talk about point number two is sharing your viewpoints. So this year I would encourage you, especially when you're starting to date somebody or you're out there, obviously starting to date an individual is. Share your viewpoints earlier on. I always tell everybody all day long it is easy to fall in love. Sometimes people question this, but if you actually think about it, how many times have you been able to fall in love and fall out of love? And fall in love and fall out of love? It is easy to fall in love. Mind over matter. You can convince yourself to love something even if you don't love it right, so you can fall in and out of love easily.

Renee Richel: 4:24

What people mess up when it comes to actually choosing a life mate is compatibility, and so it's really important to start sharing some of your viewpoints earlier on with your goals are dreaming together, thinking about things to make sure that you're both on the right track. Otherwise, what's happening is people fall on lust and they get into a relationship. They move really, really fast and furious, which, of course, we always know that crashes and burns. So it's so important that we're taking our time to really understand who we are first, to be able to then articulate that to somebody when we're asked these questions, and you know, at the end of the day, all you can do is be an expert of yourself. So it's important, by listening to these podcasts and you're looking for other dating advice listen to some of our other podcasts to really equip yourself how to be a smart dator, how to know and guide the questions that you're asking. I mean, you're looking for a life partner. This shouldn't be something that should just be casual, fast and just for fun. This should be something, especially in God's eyes, to date with intentions. So think about the most important questions that matter to you, that you slowly ask as you're going through meeting this person and the journey you're in. But you also ask earlier than later down the road, when it gets complicated and you've been together too long and then you realize you're so different.

Renee Richel: 5:52

Resolution number three, I would say to take self-diagnosing off the table, because so many times, especially like this time of year, is everybody gets in their own way and I don't even mean this time of year, but just setting new resolutions is we are quick to assume, which we all know what the definition of assumption means is. It's so important that we take the time to be able to really communicate and understand what somebody's thinking. I can't tell you how many of my clients, and even just their matches and just people in general that were connecting. We'll do endless phone calls of date feedback and trying to figure out what happened and why it went this way and why it went that way. In so many times. So many couples get in their own way, or even in the very beginning, because they assumed this or they assumed that, and so less is more when it comes to a text message and then jump on a phone call and actually hear through the details of what somebody is thinking or feeling.

Renee Richel: 7:02

I think in today's day and age of trying to get quick answers, everybody has lost the art of communication, and communication is not just through a text message. So take a little bit more time to stop trying to self diagnose a scenario and what happened and spend a little bit more time saying you know, can we jump on a call, let's have a conversation? You know what I mean. Or when somebody makes a suggestion, let's get together on this day, and you wonder why can't they get together these other days? And they literally just got off a phone call with a client just a little while ago, having this conversation, and I said I think it's important that you know. You just basically say, sure, we can do it that day, can we talk later tonight? Right, let's talk about the details. And then that way, you're not in this world of what if or this, wondering what's happening. And if somebody can't have a conversation with you on a phone call, or even just when you're together to discuss things, or can't get together with you within the next week, then how truly interested are they and truly how much time are they going to make for you? When you're in a relationship, timing is everything, so it's so important that you find somebody that also, equally, is ready to invest in these relationship tips with you at the same time.

Renee Richel: 8:18

Resolution number four, when it comes to choosing and dating and talking to somebody, obviously it is so important and science will prove this, and we do this all day long, even in our step-by-step interviewing process, when we're interviewing candidates for our clients is that we start off with a bodyable phone call for the first 30 minutes. If we feel that they're a great match for one of our clients, or we're just very intrigued by, obviously, what they're sharing with us and we feel that we can match them, then we're going to move on to what we then do a FaceTime, video verification or in person. Round number two questionnaire. The reality of why we do that is because we are such better audio listeners than we are when we're distracted by the physical connection, in that regards, of just our form of communication. A lot of times in our business, we exchange phone numbers before they're actually going to meet, so that nobody feels that they're going on a complete blind date with some complete stranger that they've never even had two words with.

Renee Richel: 9:23

We definitely believe in the power of communication and the power of. If two people can't have a good phone conversation, how is it going to go any better in person? I think it's really, really important when you are connecting with somebody, whether it be through a friend, obviously through a matchmaker or just in general, wherever you meet this person is to definitely jump on a phone call if you have that opportunity. If, obviously, there's long distance involved, you definitely want to do a video call before you meet in person. Do remember, though, there's nothing better than that moment where you can actually see somebody come alive in an in-person scenario, opposed to then, just a video call. I can't tell you how many of our couples are together today, because we encourage them to still meet in person after they were maybe like oh, the video call maybe wasn't the best, the clarity wasn't good, they were a little bit distracted here or there. Those are definitely signs that we look at and we're not telling anybody to just go on a date with just anybody.

Renee Richel: 10:24

It's really important that you have multiple conversations and just communication among the two of you so you can figure out your style and your dance of how you enjoy the conversation, because the whole part of being in a relationship with somebody does boil down to great communication skills. If that's something that's lacking, it's important early on, like I was saying, to talk about your viewpoints, to say I'm more of a phone person, I'm more of a texter, I like to send photos, I like to do this. It's important to share those differences I did on another podcast so that nobody feels like they're not important. It's just everybody's a little bit different in their style of preference when it comes to communication. Tip number five that, I think, is something that I think is important.

Renee Richel: 11:12

That gets in the way too many times. That especially we see in our industry and because we are global, we do believe in the power that it doesn't matter where somebody is located. So tip number five is location should not be a deal breaker. Stop making that the reason why you don't meet somebody. I'm not saying you should broaden your maybe, search or whatever it is, to an entire global search. That might be a little bit Wide for you if you're not a big world traveler in that regards. But when somebody lives several states away and you know, you think, well, how would I move there, how would my life, how would, how would the kids, how, like? All these thoughts go through your, through your mind, go back to tip three, which was to stop self diagnosing the scenario, because, at the end of the day, when God brings two people together, it's ultimately God's plan how and when and where and the details of how your life will unfold together when it's the right one.

Renee Richel: 12:13

So it's more about finding the person that you have endless conversations with, that you dream together that your goals are aligned, you have common interest, somebody that I'm so tired of. People that will say, oh, the nice guy always finishes last. But, ladies, I'm here to tell you you also do want the nice guy. So stop going after you know the man that are treating you Like shit excuse my French here but start going for the guys that are treating you well and they might be a little bit further away in distance, and it goes both ways. It's not just for you know, my women or my men, but go after people that are loving, that are caring, that are going to be there for you through sickness and in health right. That's the goal. I think so many times when people are dating, they forget about that. Most important detail is is this somebody that, in sickness and in health, I would stay and want to be with forever? And if we date kind of the opposite with the end goal in mind and we bring it back to the beginning of when you actually meet somebody and you take that to heart and you take that serious instead of getting lost up in just the moment of that feeling right there, that'll help set you up for success when it comes to starting dating in the new year of 2024.

Renee Richel: 13:34

I hope you have found these tips very helpful. We love it when you guys write in and you share with us things that you want us to talk about. And our next episode we're actually I'm going to give tips for our couples, since a lot of you know we have a community out there, not only just for singles, but now our dating engaged in married couples and we're so excited with the weddings we have coming up this coming year and just continuously building the community so that, together with God's love and God's help, we can really, you know, surround ourselves with healthy relationships. So I hope that you have a great start to your new year. I can't wait for many more chats to come and hopefully meet you, obviously as well, at one of our events or something like that coming up, and if you have any additional, if you want some relationship coaching or anything else like that, obviously we are always here to help and guide you in the right direction that works best for your plan that God's designed. We love you and we are so excited for all things ahead. We hope you have a blessed day.

Renee Richel: 14:43

It's been another great talk on this episode of one true talks by Renee Richel. I look forward to our next chat. Please write in your questions and comments so I can be sure to talk about whatever it is you want to discuss in our next upcoming episode. Lots of love, God's last XOXO.