Mastering Dating After 50: Discovering Love and Connection for the Over Fifty

Navigate the often perplexing world of midlife dating with me, Renee Richel, as I share the wisdom culled from years of coaching singles to find lasting love. This episode isn't just about finding a date; it's about discovering a connection that's tailored to your life's journey, with someone who appreciates the real you. We'll explore why the over-fifty dating scene can feel like a game of musical chairs and why a matchmaker might just be the conductor you need.

As your seasoned guide, I'll reveal the secret to crafting a dating bio that truly resonates with who you are, and we'll discuss the power of patience and emotional intelligence in forming a balanced relationship. Forget the tiresome swiping culture; it's time to focus on what really matters—values, personality, and the art of growing together. Tune in for an enlightening discussion that might just lead you to the partner you've been waiting for.

Transcript

Renee Richel: 0:07

Hi, I'm Renee Richell, the founder and president of 1 True Match. I'm here to help you find and cultivate the love of your life. For over a decade, I've dedicated my life to the importance, purpose and dynamic of human relationships. My team and I are disciplined by faith, love and integrity to help our clients find the quality relationship they've always dreamt of. Each week, I will be sharing the tools and tips I've learned that have rooted my success as a matchmaker with other leaders around the world. Hello, loves, welcome back.

Renee Richel: 0:42

I am so excited to talk about this next topic because this question keeps flooding in our inbox of things that we should be talking about, and I feel like every week when we're having a discussion, we're having our team meetings, we're like what is some of the pain points or what are things that are like? You know, the world out there in the single side of things is struggling with or having challenges, and so today we're going to touch on dating in your 50s, which I know we did a podcast on that before, so if you didn't listen to that one, please plug back in to some of our previous podcasts to give just tips and advice. But today particularly, I'm going to bring up a fact or a statistics that has come up that men are struggling with. That is about 70% of people that are on apps. So I'm going to get started with that and dive right into it and really give some advice and tips that I think is going to be beneficial for everybody out there. So let's begin All right. So one of the details that we notice why people struggle in their 50s to meet the love of their life is because they are leaning and going to apps and, to be completely honest, turning to a matchmaker and, of course, like Connie always says, I'm giving a plug is really beneficial because we're there to help rally, to help, you know, obviously, rave about you to. You know, help introduce you to the individuals that you're really looking for that either aren't online dating or, since we're talking specifically about our male market of individuals that are out there all trying to basically attract and, you know, get the interest of pretty much the same woman, and they have a sea of individuals that are all fighting for that same person, right? And so you're not getting that like back. You're not getting that person that you know you're really looking for, because you have about 70% of other gentlemen that are looking for probably that same type, and if you're a female out there, obviously I'm here to also tell you, which is great. You know you have that person in tons of options. But women, on the flip side, also have this plethora of individuals that are constantly reaching out to them and it gets to an overwhelming amount level. So my advice for you if you're trying to date in your 50s, first of all, if you have never filled out a profile on our website and we don't know that you exist, it is so important that, confidentially and privately, we have your information, not only because we work with other matchmakers in the industry, but the majority of our clients and matches that we do find don't want to be on these apps. So we're working with a high caliber individual that's also all about privacy protection and really wants to be kind of organically found in the old fashioned or new way of meeting individuals this way this day and age, that feels safe and secure.

Renee Richel: 3:55

I think the other challenge that a lot of times are 50 year olds struggle with is you know you've worked really hard for who you are and you don't need anybody in life. Right when you're in your 50s, you should be established in all areas of your life, and so you're now getting into this place where you want somebody, which is a phenomenal place to be. You should always want love and not need it, because the younger we are, sometimes we get you know complete or we get sidetracked by what this fairy tale or dream that everybody tells us we need to have. And so being in your 50s is a really great time in your life because you know who you are, you know what you want and also, hopefully, you know what it is you need. I think so many times for also my male and female clients and matches is they get very complacent in their ways, which makes it really hard for somebody to come into their world and creating this new dance.

Renee Richel: 4:58

If, ultimately, that's what you want is a committed relationship with somebody that will last a lifetime and you want to be married, you also have to be. You have to compromise sometimes right, and those are the things that I always tell everybody practice dating yourself first and thinking about the areas where you're so stuck in your ways maybe that how would you put somebody into this world with you, whether you're in a relationship, starting a relationship right now. I really encourage you to think about those little things that might be wedges in the relationships that you're starting with people and or your expectations being way beyond what anybody can fulfill. So if you choose and I've said this multiple times to want to be in a relationship, it does take two and it does take a lot of work, but it should also be super rewarding, obviously, when you are not nitpicking the details but you're, overall, picking the person of who they are.

Renee Richel: 6:01

So when it comes to you know, obviously on the apps and also in the world of dating, I think it's really important to also bring your best foot forward. I can't tell you how many submissions we get on a regular basis that I don't think really thought through Some of the words they used, just their impression, just based on we're all visual in that regards but even just their photos of things that they're presenting. Of course, don't post anything that's old and out of date. I cannot stress that enough. Obviously, everybody knows what catfishing is. It's terrible. Ultimately, what are you going to do when you meet in person? So don't lie of who you are, but there's apps out there that can tell you what are the chances of somebody looking at this photo over that photo. Those are first impressions that really really do matter.

Renee Richel: 6:58

When it comes to also filling out a profile with a matchmaking company, it's so important, obviously, that you present yourself to the best of your ability. What you put out there is what you'll obviously receive, and so, particularly in our 50s demographic of individuals that we're talking about is, I think, there's so many challenges when it comes to really understanding who we are. So one thing it's like who we originally were and then who we become. We've also lost our touch with just this inner soul in us, and so in the Bible, it talks about oneness, it talks about singleness, and I don't think people understand enough that when God brought you into this world and people that are married, they didn't bring you into this world as a couple. So even our couples who are happy and healthy married, they also have to remember that that oneness inside of you, the way that God designed you to be.

Renee Richel: 8:04

It's so important that you're investing in who you are and think about what it's like to be with yourself. I mean, we ask this question all day long would you marry yourself? I would say half of the audience raises their hand. Probably more than half of the audience raises their hand and says no, which? If that's your answer, that is something to really really consider and think about, because if you're not standing out and you wouldn't marry yourself in regards to understanding your strengths, your weaknesses and what it is that makes you attracted to somebody and is attracted if equally back, then you're never going to stand out in a sea of individuals if you're doing the same thing everybody else is doing.

Renee Richel: 8:49

So it's so important to really think about what is it that is most important? Is it their height? Is it their age? Is it their looks, which, the older we all get, the wiser we do, and I'm not saying to settle on somebody you're not attracted to, but what we have the ability to do as a matchmaking company is really get into the core of who somebody is and get to know them for the person that they are, and that is priceless when it comes to, obviously, a relationship that will last a long time. I mean, I say this endless and endless times is the clients that take a chance on somebody that they never would have probably chosen whether it be on an app or just in general meeting at a public place or something like that are the ones that they end up falling madly in love with.

Renee Richel: 9:42

And that's because, as a matchmaking company, we obviously have that ability to get to know people, to not be judgmental, learn who their core is, that God has designed them to be, and be able to articulate that to our clients right, so that they're more open-minded than they would have been to possibly meet somebody. That's just a quick swipe left or right and you're literally just focused on a photo, which is insane, because at the end of the day, I don't know about you but I would never want to be with somebody that's just one dimensional, that's not going to grow with you, that's not going to be there through all the stages of life that are in the remaining chapters of your life, to have a best friend, to laugh, to have fun with somebody that you can trust, somebody that's stable, somebody that's responsible, somebody that's respectful, somebody that doesn't have addictions All of those things you cannot tell on a profile or on an app. So you know I'm not sitting here telling you the only path is to go, you know, with a matchmaker. But it's strong, it's something strongly to consider if you never have before, to reach out, you know, to our company and have Interview, phone call to really see the paths that are there for you and the coaching or the guidance that you may need before starting today. Whether it be to create this incredible bio right about you that articulates the design of you past, just the basic information that everybody shares, whether it be to Given it, you know, send you on an introduction to somebody. That's incredible, but we have so many people, so many individuals in our network that are also in our database, that are also clients, that we need the world, especially my fifty year olds, because a lot of our clients there in that age demographic that are saying where are all the good, strong Christian Christian gentlemen and females? And so we need to know, first of all, you exist and be in the trusted hands of us guiding you and being able to rave about you for who you are.

Renee Richel: 11:54

I believe there's somebody out there for everybody, and everybody is unique in their own way, and so so many times I'm asked the question is you know? So tell me the most crazy story or tell me the the most insane like you know introduction you ever had, or things like that, and, to be honest, every time I feel like I've heard it all. There's always something else, and so it just reminds us on a daily basis that you shouldn't be lost in the weed of what everybody's fighting for and you should stand out to be able to show your uniqueness and why somebody would be Interested in you, and to not get down when you know it hasn't happened yet, because everybody and God as our obviously father and just biggest mentor and supporter in life Is there, but he won't introduce you to that person and that that that light will not come of when that you know, the right person. Timing is if we don't trust in the Lord first and foremost in everything that we do. And obviously, as a matchmaking company, we're here is the biggest cheerleaders to not only all of our clients but also with God, to be able to, you know, introduce and bring the most incredible professional individuals in all areas of their life that truly are ready for love. And you know our job as a matchmaker is to not judge just based on a profile, but it's truly fine people that are marriage minded and ready and mature enough to be in a relationship. I think so many times you know in our younger clientele that we also have that all they know our online apps, right, but the beauty of being in the age of you know our fifties or sixties, is to be able to really now, maturely, know what works and what doesn't, and so use that to your advantage.

Renee Richel: 13:50

To not be so particular that you can't get over these hurdles that are your Barriers or that are the reasons why you haven't met that those people, but to also put yourself in a sea of individuals that truly want to work on a relationship In fight, for you know your heart as well as you know you both are, I always say, like chasing each other, because there's so many times we see like one sided relationships that it should be an equal partnership, especially at this stage in age. It should always be that way, but you have the emotional intelligence to be able to do that. So why is it that you haven't met that person yet? To be honest, it may be because of the sea of people that you're either getting lost in or the outlet of the sea of people that you are putting yourself in. So I'm not here to tell you what to do, but I am here to encourage you to say true love is out there, your one true match is out there also, praying, hopefully, for you as well, as you should be too, but come to us, let us know you exist, let us help you, guide you, coach you. Get you to that one true love that you're looking for, instead of feeling like you're losing hope and that you are in a place where you're really just not sure who somebody is.

Renee Richel: 15:12

That can be really scary, lonely and obviously challenging when it comes to meeting that right person. So you're beautiful inside and out. It's just important that you don't get lost in the sea and you stand out. So I hope you have found this helpful, encouraging and beneficial, as always, and please keep writing in the questions that you do have so we can specifically answer each and every question that you want to know what it like, what it comes to In dating today, through any age, demographic or any situation you're in. We're going to love and leave you and hope you have a blessed day. It's been another great talk on this episode of one true talks by Renee Richell. I look forward to our next chat. Please write in your questions and comments so I can be sure to talk about whatever it is you want to discuss in our next upcoming episode. Lots of love, God bless, xoxo.