Questions Singles ask!

The book mentioned is: 
"when God writes your love story" by Eric  & Leslie Ludy.

Have you ever stood in front of the mirror, wondering who stares back at you when you strip away the title of 'single'? Join me, Renee Richel, and my guest, Connie from the UK, as we embark on a profound exploration of self-identity in the pursuit of love. Our latest episode traverses the landscape of self-awareness, recognizing the importance of knowing oneself in the context of forming fulfilling relationships. We discuss the initial steps of self-reflection within our matchmaking service and the personalized journey that helps our clients embrace their true selves on their path to find a partner.

We candidly tackle the intersection of identity, faith, and reflection, diving into the complexities of being genuine in a world where facades often prevail. The conversation takes a turn to spirituality, where we illuminate how faith can guide us toward a more authentic self, allowing our vulnerabilities to shine as strengths. With a touch of personal narrative, Connie and I share stories that testify to the individuality of our quests for love, aiming to empower you with the courage to articulate your identity with confidence and zeal.

When the road to romance feels like a solitary trek, remember that the journey itself can be a source of personal growth. Our discussion uncovers the silver lining of loneliness, urging listeners to cherish the silent stretches that precede the meeting of a soulmate. We confront the snares of settling for less and the superficial swirl of dating apps, offering advice for building a rich, well-rounded life that transcends romantic endeavors. As we close, we consider the delicate dance of managing career ambitions with the quest for companionship, sharing insights on achieving a balance that nurtures both professional success and a thriving personal life. Tune in for a heartfelt episode that promises to enlighten, inspire, and perhaps lead you a step closer to love.

Transcript

Renee Richel: 0:07

Hi, I'm Renee Richel, the founder and president of 1 True Match. I'm here to help you find and cultivate the love of your life. For over a decade, I've dedicated my life to the importance, purpose and dynamic of human relationships. My team and I are disciplined by faith, love and integrity to help our clients find the quality relationship they've always dreamt of. Each week, I will be sharing the tools and tips I've learned that have rooted my success as a matchmaker with other leaders around the world. Hello, loves, welcome back. I am so excited to be sitting here with Connie that's back from the UK. It's been forever.

Connie Sandberg: 0:47

Welcome back to the state. I almost live to be back on podcasting, but it's good to be back everyone, hello.

Renee Richel: 0:55

So there's been a ton of questions that have been asked, and I've been waiting for them to hold out until you got back to ask some of these really important questions.

Connie Sandberg: 1:03

Even more pressure.

Renee Richel: 1:04

Right, and so today we're going to answer some of the most common questions that are being asked by singles today to just really try to figure out their journey of singleness and, obviously, to finding the right person. So I hope this podcast is very beneficial to you if you are out there still looking for the love of your life and some of these questions resonate with you, that people have been coming in and asking us to talk about.

Connie Sandberg: 1:32

Yeah, and I did take a quick peek at some of the questions and they get asked over and over again. So if you're either a client or someone coming in that's new to this podcast, I think there's definitely going to be some huge impacts and also benefits to take from this podcast, because I'm sure if you've not thought it before, you're probably going to think it at some time. If you are single.

Renee Richel: 1:54

Which is so true. So we're going to get started. We're going to get right into it with the first question, because what we're going to do we're going to do like a two part series on this, because there's so many questions and we want to make sure we use ample time to answer each question instead of just like breezing through them. So here we go. If you are driving, please take notes later If you are able to write things down, so you remember these little things when you're obviously out there dating or and coming to us and we're helping you go through this journey.

Connie Sandberg: 2:25

So, yeah, even thinking of coming to us, I know that so many people have these questions beforehand. This is a great way to kind of learn, digest and then come to us and ask any more additional questions.

Renee Richel: 2:34

Right, right. So here we go. Number one question is questioning their identity.

Connie Sandberg: 2:41

Yeah, that one is. I feel like everyone. Some people, even in relationships, come and ask us that, right, it's like oh here, why am I doing what you know? Basically I don't know what to do, and people go over and over and over, especially singles, asking what is their identity. You know they don't want to be under this title of being single and lonely and on their own and stuff. And so we really say it's something that you have to work with internally as well and being able to really dig deep of who are you Like.

Connie Sandberg: 3:11

I know it sounds silly. Obviously you know who you are, but when you actually sit down and think about it, it's really tough to be like okay, you know, I don't need to just put this title over my head that I'm single and that's all I am Like. You still need to find your worth in that area as well. And also, we always say, like, make a checklist when it comes to stuff like that. Maybe, maybe checklist wasn't the right word, but make a list of like how you're feeling currently and then review it in a month of how you're feeling at that time with your identity too.

Renee Richel: 3:38

Right, and the number one question we get asked is obviously can you match us? Who's that person? And you know, why haven't I found them and how do you think you can find them for us? Yeah, and the number one thing we always tell everybody when we do that like intake session of really getting to know somebody, is trying to literally figure out their identity. And how many times do we do that? You know, it's like a 60 minute to 90 minute session where we're literally pinpointing out the minute details of who God's designed this individual to AB.

Renee Richel: 4:14

But also self discover. Yeah, and the reality of it is in our business and I also feel like, just in general, a, matchmaking and B working for the Lord every day to find people, their most compatible match that he has designed them to find, through the work and help of us, obviously, but is like who they are and are they ready? I think that's the biggest question. Yeah, and you're putting this down to ask yourself not only who am I Truly Like, not just your CV, and there's some of you may have heard the story before that I say, when I started this practice almost 15 years ago, just in the fascination of trying to understand marriage and relationships. There was a lady she is my guardian angel in heaven now who literally I met at a church event and we just really instantly connected and she went to me read all these books which it's funny because now I do this with clients, they can read all these books but it's like so self-discovering when she asked me who are you? And I remember the hardest question.

Renee Richel: 5:11

I know and I remember being so offended that I was like well, and I rattled off my whole CV of all my accomplishments and things I've done and like who I believed myself to be, but the reality that I then had this like aha moment of like well, first of all, I was like well, of course I know that answer. Second of all, I was a little bit angry that she would even ask me that question Like who are you?

Connie Sandberg: 5:31

Like who are you to ask me? Who am I?

Renee Richel: 5:32

Right. But the truth is, when I went even deeper to really discover that it was like, wow, like who have I been? That? I truly am not, that I keep attracting the same type. And so if you don't know your own identity and you don't really spend time digging into what we do, always with everybody as a needs and wants analysis, with obviously God in mind, prayerfully asking, like what is it, lord, that you know, I need and want, instead of praying for this ideal checklist, as we say, right of person and down to like, oh, tall, dark and handsome, or beautiful, athletic and flowing, like you know hair or whatever with like light, light colored eyes or things that men ask for, or whatever.

Renee Richel: 6:19

But where you're really identifying the characteristic traits, also the compatibility details, to really be able to know okay, what is it that I'm lacking in my life that somebody could help me be a better person on that? I also need to think about when it comes to like my identity. I have my shortfalls with this. I have my strengths, I have my weaknesses. Now, I don't want somebody to completely replace that, because that'll drive me crazy. I'll feel like I fail all the time if I have somebody that's like 100% better in something that I'm not.

Connie Sandberg: 6:51

Yeah, and it's also like knowing, knowing yourself in that area too. It's like when you go to say who am I, you don't want to start, like you just mentioned. You don't want to start listing, oh, I've done this, I've done this, I've done that. And people tend to do that, even when we send people out on dates and or you know, singles in general, even friends will come to me and be like oh, I went out, and they'll say oh, they asked me like oh, tell me a little bit more about yourself.

Connie Sandberg: 7:14

Oh, so I've done this and I've done that and I've done that. No, they actually want to know about you and who you are as a person. So learning your identity and who you are and to be able to talk to it is really powerful in the dating world instead of sitting there as a single. I'm referring to all your accomplishments, like, yes, it's great that you might have done all the special things in life, or you might have owned multiple businesses or grown multiple. Like whatever you've done, well done. Like congratulations, but also that isn't going to make you any more attractive in the personality, like space. Like is that absolutely sexy that you've done lots of cool things, 100%, but you know what. You've got no personality to go with it and you don't know who you are yourself. Then it really just doesn't balance it out. In the end it'll be like you fall in love.

Renee Richel: 8:04

someone falls in love with you for lust instead of love if you don't know who you are and you also represent yourself, which is so true, and then you come across braggadocious, right In boastful, in arrogant, in all of these things. If you're being so much about your accomplishments because we all have strengths, we all have weaknesses and we all have like pitfalls of situations that have happened it's how you look at those scenarios and how you bounce back and become something better. But if you don't be real and you're storytelling, especially when you're dating, right.

Renee Richel: 8:39

Or in first it begins with you, right, it begins with God, it begins with you and then another mate that you're putting into your life, and if you have that backwards or completely not even thought of it that way, you know, this is one reason probably why you still haven't met that person. And so this question I feel like a lot of all of the questions it needs to really be understood, first and foremost, of truly not only who people see you to be, and this is why so many friends and family we love their effort and we love to meet the family right.

Connie Sandberg: 9:12

Like it's like a reunion once they're married and everything else, but they are biased to your past.

Renee Richel: 9:18

Yes, and so are your friends that have been around you for so long, right, so they remember you when you did things 10 years, 20 years ago, and they don't actually know who you truly have become today. And that's why sometimes, like new friends, really get the opportunity to kind of see you who you've maybe reborn and this current world yourself, to be in this current stage of your life, yeah, Because I always say, with every sunrise, every, there's a sunset, so with every day you can start off fresh, obviously, and our faith, like God, forgives your sins and all of these things like.

Renee Richel: 9:50

not that I'm saying go out and be sinful, but at the end of the day, it's also one of those things that, like you, can then become this identity of who you want to be who you want to be and not creating a false identity, because there's those people out there right. You definitely have to find yourself.

Connie Sandberg: 10:06

as cliche as that sounds, that sounds very, very cringy going out of my mouth but you also do have to find yourself, and that's when it comes that it truly is. Your identity is not this false identity. It's really who you are and who you can represent yourself to be as well. Yeah, and making sure that you also can practice that story. As silly and as ridiculous as might sound, talk to God, say it out loud. Like practice telling your story of your identity if it helps you.

Renee Richel: 10:35

Yeah.

Connie Sandberg: 10:36

Because if you are going to be like, oh you know, I've got it all under control, but don't practice it or don't know how to say it out on a date or don't know how to say it, if someone does ask you, who are you, like you just said in yours then you're going to fumble, you're going to sound silly, you're going to doubt yourself. Like say it out loud and also be confident in doing so, because you might know your identity, but if you're not confident in it, I mean it goes hand in hand, right?

Renee Richel: 10:59

Right, exactly Like I mean. Just what Connie said is practice, because I always say is reflect, think and then share Like think, reflect and share Right.

Renee Richel: 11:09

And so, like, whatever you're thinking, reflect on it, and I mean, if any of you have listened to any of our podcasts or plug into a bunch of other ones 72 hours, like 72 hours before you're going to give an answer of something that is like your life story or who your identity is. Because the thing that's going to happen through that process of your first 24 hours heck, even the first two hours if you were to write this answer down, who am I? Go back and keep revising until like 72 hours later or say, okay, I need another 72 hours, right, Like, but it shouldn't be a quick answer.

Connie Sandberg: 11:39

So my encouragement if you're single yes, I mean yes.

Renee Richel: 11:43

I want everybody to take their love language, the personality assessment, any kind of assessments you can take out there to know yourself better. But that's just also based on just the average person and you're extraordinary right. So, like it's so important that you're also diving deeper, and the only person that knows that more than anybody is God. So spend time prayerfully saying what is it, lord, that you know I desire? Who am I totally vulnerable and how do I share that?

Connie Sandberg: 12:13

And also be yeah, like, just be strong in doing so.

Connie Sandberg: 12:16

Like you know, if there is, like Renee said, if you go through the time of being through your strengths and weaknesses and you do know how, you do know everyone has weaknesses, right, all of us do Make sure that you put it in a positive light, instead of going in and being like, oh, this my identity, oh, my goodness identity, and this is who I am, but then don't add a weakness in there that's going to make it all down.

Connie Sandberg: 12:40

For If you are going to talk about something that maybe isn't your strength but it is who you are, make sure that you put a positive light on it, not because you're, you know, trying to make it shine, although it's not. Just. Make sure that when you are going in to tell that story of your identity, like Renee said, don't let it be 30 seconds or 10 seconds, because you sure know that you're not very passionate about it, and then also always have a positive light on it, whether it goes deeper into, you know, more vulnerable a conversation is that you keep it positive and also know true to yourself what you're saying, and also that you thought this through instead of saying something that you thought on a way to the day or something that you've just thought oh, I don't know, I can't even give an example right now, but just that it's like comes off the top of your tongue, like don't do that, right, right.

Renee Richel: 13:25

Always reflect. And another little tip that I had back in the day when I was searching and trying to find the love of my life and all of these steps in your journey that you go through, is this woman. That's like a guardian angel to me, she told me after I rambled off my CV of all my accomplishments. She said I want you to read a book and if you and he recommended this to clients, but I also it has to be to the right client. Like I can't see it when people recommend a movie and it has nothing to do with you, just because they liked it.

Renee Richel: 13:53

So I'm just saying this, like I was not married and I was searching for the right person. And I only say this because there's a book called when God Writes your Love Story. It's by Lesley and Leslie Parrot We'll put that in our show notes or whatever and I kept reading it. I kept reading it and it starts with like her life and then his life, or maybe it's reversed. It's been a while since I've read it and basically then they come together and she and that was what it was is like she's dated other people, she's been in relationships with other people and really he hadn't, he'd been like the perfect soldier, praying for the whole time. And she felt like, and I was like, yeah, I don't know if I can really relate to this, right, like we've had things that have happened.

Renee Richel: 14:34

But my point is the message that I got out of that book. I couldn't put it down after I got to like chapter six or whatever it was, because I was hooked, because I wanted to know what happened with their love story. I really wanted to understand that, like, people make mistakes and some do, some don't, but even the ones that don't, they don't come into a relationship with any experience either, right? So the point of the whole thing is it's called when God writes your love story is to really. It pushed me strong towards my faith to feel this unbelievable love, to then prayerfully pray more aware and daily, for what the understanding of this person looked like in my life. So if you've never read that book before, you can get it on audiobooks. We're all busy people, right. It's definitely a really cool book to read if you're searching for the love of your life. Obviously, if you're single, what we're talking about it's just another way to remind you to be prayerful in what you're doing, in every step of your identity. So, all right, we're gonna move on.

Connie Sandberg: 15:32

Make sure that you keep reviewing it, like keep reviewing it and keep reviewing it, revising, we revise it all the time Almost like some of that work Right.

Renee Richel: 15:40

Because we're all a work in progress, so that comes with a lot of revisions, as we do with our clients too. I mean, there's so many times like our clients come into it with their idea of their identity and then we send them out on a couple dates and it's like whoa, whoa, whoa, right. With that feedback, we're like we need to change a few things if this is what you're saying, you're wanting, because this is what you're not doing or this is not how it's coming across or like, or you're taking too much control of the situation and you're not allowing somebody to be who they are, you're not seeing their true identity of who they are because they're being so close minded, which is a whole another podcast, but I feel like we do have to go down that route.

Renee Richel: 16:17

If you need some coaching or counseling on how to either find your identity to also you know, process, reflect and share. That's what we do, not only for our clients on a daily right.

Connie Sandberg: 16:29

That's it.

Renee Richel: 16:30

Not only what we do for our clients on a daily basis, we do it for our matches because ultimately we want everybody everybody we meet that is really truly ready for love, for their identity to shine in God's love, for all that he has designed for you 100%.

Renee Richel: 16:45

So the next question, which hopefully we can get to all of these in a series this is why we're breaking this up into two, because there's so many great questions was the question in loneliness and loss, which I think is a big topic in today's really crazy dating world. Right, because they are so tired of apps, they are so tired of being alone. They are just exhausted and they are, you know, just feeling like lost from the grief of relationships. Maybe they've lost a loved one, but the world is just in a place of I hate to say it, but I feel like anger, bitterness and loneliness because they don't have the surrounding of true love or they and they feel they start to get, you know, more lonely as they also don't feel, maybe, god's love during that time and that season of just being alone.

Connie Sandberg: 17:40

Yeah, and let's be honest, the love world is very messy If you're doing it without professional services, like a matchmaker. When I say, I'm like, yes, I'm chewing our own horn, but obviously that's what I'm going to do, because we had to bring Cagni on every once in a while.

Connie Sandberg: 17:56

Right, there is so much value, of course, when working with a matchmaker, because the love world is extremely messy when you're going on online dating. Even if you meet someone at a coffee shop, you don't know what they've been through on, how lonely they are or how you know what lost. Or, like Renee said, they're grieving. Maybe they've been in a relationship for like three years and they've come out of that relationship. They are grieving that, they are going through a loss and it's really hard to understand when you're not in their shoes.

Connie Sandberg: 18:25

Like you don't know those emotions, you don't know how much connections they've had From that past relationship. What has you know? Maybe there's wounds that are still open from that relationship. There's so many things, but it's very messy when it comes to, you know, loneliness and loss, but also then you also, on the flip side, have to make that loneliness into your strength. Like think of all the times and I've said this, we've said this over and over on podcasts like that's going to be your last time on your own. Like you don't know that day when it's the last day of you not meeting your forever person.

Connie Sandberg: 19:00

And I also think to myself even now like happily married for many years. But I think to myself oh my goodness, I never knew that last day.

Renee Richel: 19:07

I never knew the last day that I was on my you know, I'm like your last kiss, your last like first kiss, right, like all of those things are left.

Connie Sandberg: 19:14

No, anything and the last day that you, you know even of course, yes, you plan to when you get married and moved in together, but you forget about that last season of you living alone, that last season of you only having to care for yourself.

Connie Sandberg: 19:28

And as hard as it is if you're listening to this, thinking I'm just lonely and this is really really tough.

Connie Sandberg: 19:34

We absolutely understand like I'm not saying it's sunshine and rainbows, but it definitely needs to be You've got to remind yourself that any day now God's going to give you that person and it'll present itself and that would have all been your last.

Connie Sandberg: 19:49

So, instead of being lonely and down in the dumps of course it's okay to feel lonely and you've got to recognize those feelings but pull yourself out of them and have this independent life and think to yourself every day Like, be grateful of the four slow mornings that you get to just do you, or the you know times that you can go to the gym at any time without having to be like, hey, I'm just going to pop here. Like you know, you care when it comes to your life being with someone, married to someone in a relationship, even going on dates. We all know how time consuming it is in such a wonderful way, but we forget about all the special time that we could have had on our own too. So if you're listening to this and you're very single and you're feeling really low and very lonely, think of all that girl time or guy time or family time that you're not going to get just you again.

Renee Richel: 20:39

Amen.

Connie Sandberg: 20:39

I mean, you said that so perfectly.

Renee Richel: 20:43

I can't even I, but I meant to play off on that right. Yeah, I agree, part of loneliness, like Connie was saying, is, you know, because you don't have maybe as fast of a pace, or truly part of it is is probably because you have friends around you that are in relationships, or you go to church and you say all these happy couples and what you're doing, I always say, is letting Satan come in to like hit you when you're down or weak, to come in and be like I'm going to show you all the things that you want, so you just go out and get into any terrible, toxic relationship that you don't even know you're going to get into just because you're lonely and I think part of the biggest problem that people have today A with apps there's too many options.

Renee Richel: 21:26

B with the apps because there's so many options, they just they then become lonely because everybody just has, like everybody does, a first date and then that's it, or maybe a second date.

Connie Sandberg: 21:37

It's like roulette. Is that? What was that? What's called? Like the game where you're just throwing numbers.

Renee Richel: 21:41

Yeah, it's like oh, hit, hit, hit Like.

Connie Sandberg: 21:44

I have never actually played it, so if anyone's listening and don't judge me on that, but it's basically like that. It's like oh, here, go on this, go with this. You have. You've literally just thrown everything in the air and guessing who you're going out on a date with.

Renee Richel: 21:57

It's not actually quality, it's not, and then that's what creates that loneliness, because then maybe you're somebody that you've gone on oh my gosh, over 100 first dates, right, or, like now, second or third dates but it's just, it literally gets to a point where you feel lonely because you've dated way too much and they haven't ever materialized into something. Or you feel lonely because you also know, during this time of singleness, you're supposed to be waiting patiently. Well, here's the thing that we definitely will dive into, and one of the other questions is also to find the time to fill your time so you're not lonely. So one of the things that we talked about was prioritizing your list of your identity and things, and so the reality of it is a busy person like not I don't mean to say busy because I always say like it's important to have productivity and purpose and passion in your life, right, and not to just fill your calendar with something to fill it, because then you get burnt out and you're exhausted and everybody will take, take, take from you if you're doing that, right. But is to also fill your life of loneliness with involvement, a maybe in a church or volunteering or doing something that that it fills your tank of loneliness back up and it puts you out there in an environment to connect with other individuals that are like-minded for a good cause, because I can't tell you how much that fills up your love tank and how much more that gets you out there.

Renee Richel: 23:26

And maybe you're not. You know somebody. Maybe you're a little bit more introverted and you're not like the sociable person as much, or, you know, you don't have a lot of experience with dating. It doesn't matter, the same person is going to have the same experience, as long as they put a thousand percent of their emotional and just like physical mindset into something to be able to have that integrity and also thought that this is going to be amazing, right. But if you go into something already feeling lonely, you don't really want to do something. The outcome is going to be just as sad as, obviously, the entrance into something. So it's so important. I mean, there's times where I'm exhausted, right, and you know there's that phrase that you tell yourself OK, this is going to be the best experience ever. And guess what it is?

Renee Richel: 24:09

Why, why, Because you put it out there to the universe and to God that you are going to make the most of any scenario. And if you're somebody that has gone through a loss, first of all I mean we work with a lot of widows, so hearts go out to you that go through that experience. Or if you've been in a relationship with somebody that has been years and years and now it's been obviously it's broken off and now you're just like, oh my gosh, I'd rather be in a relationship with somebody than even if it wasn't a good relationship than be alone.

Renee Richel: 24:44

I can't tell you when I finally and I was always the one I went long-term relationships that were always around seven years or whatever and I'd go and get into the next relationship or the next relationship. The minute I finally hit pause and had this single period of time and even being a matchmaker, I remember my whole team was like I'm so ready to match you, I'm so ready now that I know what I know I can do this right and all these other things is, I can't tell you those three and a half or whatever years of just really focusing on myself before going out there and dating. There was no better truth to my future when I was able to do that, and that's only because I truly found my identity. I got over feeling the loneliness I don't have somebody. I filled my life with friends, with church, with activities, and I truly couldn't have felt more love than I've ever felt in my entire life today.

Connie Sandberg: 25:40

Yeah, and that's it gets you your foundation to then your relationship as well. Yes, like did the exact same. I'm so happy. It's when you stop wanting something like yes, of course you've got to want it and you've got to work for it. And same when it comes to relationship, you've got to make sure you're being proactive, like, say, for example, if it's using a matchmaker, you've got to go, be proactive to make those steps in the right direction to find in the person. But in the meantime, you let someone else take over and you go ahead and enjoy your life. And so, yeah, same for me.

Connie Sandberg: 26:09

As soon as I started traveling, living my best life, that's when Jeremy walked in my life, most unexpected in time of my whole entire life, and I know it's. The same goes to you, same goes to so many people on our team. Be like, yeah, it's exactly what I least expected. And that's because you just let go, you let God handle it and you just like, enjoy what you can do right now.

Connie Sandberg: 26:29

And instead of being constantly and I don't know if jealous is the right word to use, maybe envy of like relationships is a good word to use but you've got to be extremely careful doing that, because that's not your relationship. They're not you. You don't know what goes on in their relationship. It might look like sunshine and rainbows outside, but it definitely couldn't be. You are not in that relationship. So I wouldn't constantly be stuck on looking at other people's relationships and being like I'm lonely, I'm lonely, I'm lost, like whatever it may be Like. Just focus within yourself and going back to the identity. Really focus on things like that to make sure that you are ready for a relationship Right right, and I feel like you'll surprise yourself.

Renee Richel: 27:11

You really will.

Renee Richel: 27:11

And I mean so many of our clients say all day long and I think that's one of the questions that we are definitely gonna ask is like, okay, well then, if I'm supposed to just go out there and be patient, then do I feel, should I not go in on apps?

Renee Richel: 27:24

Should I not hire a matchmaker? And all those other things which we will definitely dive into but at the end of the day, the reality of it is is I think somebody gave the example is, if you're trying to find a job, you're not just going to go out and apply for a bunch of jobs and be lost at sea. Right, you're gonna either get a recruiter, you're going to then start handing your resumes to people in person, make an impression to get there, and so, like we tell everybody what we do as like ambassadors to God's mission to bring people the love of their life is truly to people. Come to us while they continue to live their life and we bring them through God's power, the right individual that God is like, applauding them. Finally, they're truly ready to be in a relationship and a marriage-minded environment because of the steps that they've done to prepare themselves, to be ready, and so, and then, through the safety, and security.

Renee Richel: 28:18

they've got that yeah yeah, totally true, and then what we're gonna do is we're gonna we're going on obviously longer than I know. I always say everybody's like okay, keep it short. But I think this is such an important topic is also, people are questioning work like life balance, right, so and well, we talk about this one a lot because it's so tough.

Connie Sandberg: 28:40

It's so tough.

Renee Richel: 28:42

So, of course, if you're single, I do have to say you have a lot more time to be able to manage work-life balance. However, I have also found in when we're interviewing tons and tons of people, I always tell, I always tell all of my clients and just even you know, candidates or matches for our clients are. You know, clients are impressed with the the a work-life balance, but also the things that they have around their life, that they have going on, whether they're involved in charity events, whether they're like an entrepreneur of a company, or whether they're climbing up the corporate ladder or they're like still in school. To finish, like, go towards whatever their mission is, which is great. The one question I can't keep expressing are you ready truly for love, because the truth of it is part of work-life balance is also knowing, like how well you can do at each part and when you add a relationship into it as much as you want. You cannot chase your dreams and start a brand new relationship at the same time.

Connie Sandberg: 29:55

One will likely fail 100% and people think that no, I could do it. I can do it. I can do it. Everyone comes to us and you can't. You have to choose which one.

Connie Sandberg: 30:09

You're gonna invest your time and say, for example, say similar scenario if you're a workaholic and you are only working 24, seven the odds if you find in time to even go out on a date, to even progress, even a tiny bit, to meet someone, if you're constantly working and don't get yourself out there, I'm sorry, but you're probably not gonna find that person and you can go on a first date, but this is how a first date's then never turned into a third or a fifth or a lasting All you do with your time is work Right, and it's really hard, because being a passionate person in your career is absolutely fantastic and we talk about it being very attractive when you meet that person, but there is a very fine line between being also addicted to your career or your job, or whatever it may be and be able to make sure that you're showing that you like.

Connie Sandberg: 31:03

if you're addicted to something, you show it right so if you're addicted to your work and you're continuously working working 24 7 when you go out on those dates, you absolutely show it and it will quickly have make someone either run this rock the wrong direction.

Connie Sandberg: 31:17

We might be lucky enough to give you a few chances, but then you have to very quickly decide on whether, okay, what am I gonna invest in? Right and right, which is more important to you and I think that's a question to ask yourself, whether it takes weeks, months or just, you know, a day like that's a question that you need to ask yourself and digest. But that is one of the hardest things while dating. We have so many clients come to us who are business owners, do all these things, and that is the one thing that we always have to kinda Pull it back, start from scratch again, because being addicted to work or not having a work life balance or not, learning how to have a work life balance when you're dating is, it's, wobbly one and you know it's so important that, like, practice is part of perfection, right, not that anybody is perfect, nobody is perfect but you know you have to practice how to ride a bike, right, you have to practice how to do work life balance.

Renee Richel: 32:17

You know, and if there's certain times in your life where you're just also like, okay, well, and we're talking obviously to you single and if you're obviously listening to this, you're definitely wanting to be in a relationship, whether you're gonna pass us on to a friend that needs this or you're gonna listen to this for yourself, whatever it is, but it's so important that you really think about your work, your life, and then the balance. Part of it is when you're gonna add also romance and if you want a family into it and you don't even know if that's your own family, it's an adopted family or it's, like it, blended family scenario right as well.

Connie Sandberg: 32:53

people forget about pet, like grandparents. All of that Heck right and, like I say, even when we were talking about this earlier.

Renee Richel: 33:01

One of my daughter and our favorite things to do at night is to go back and reflect on all the photos of what we did, like year from today, year from ago to whatever and go back and go back and I look at all the things that I have accomplished Since she has been born. It's amazing what you can do. But it's also you kind of look back at like, okay, what seasons could I have added or balanced things out a little bit better to be more present in this area, and so many times we don't think about it until we're in it. And I am here to also tell you the grass is not greener on the other side. So if you don't figure out what life work balance looks like in those department in the back, you know again I keep saying the balance is the resolution to obviously figuring it all out. But there also needs to be a calit category in. There is like love, family in romance yeah right.

Renee Richel: 33:53

And then how do you and I'm not a spreadsheet type of person, but in this case right, if you do, you know 20% here and 20% there. You've got to be able to spread yourself out. Plus, you need to add in you time. And also your energy, because if you're given and working out and all the other things that come in 100% at work and then you're giving and you've given every single part of your energy at work.

Connie Sandberg: 34:19

What are you going home to? Because I show personally I know I used to do this really will literally say this and be like what are you doing?

Connie Sandberg: 34:27

like You're giving you over the head of the book you are giving all your energy or your client customers clients I would be like all my love, all my stuff to them. And then Jeremy want to talk about stuff on my arm not talking about it right now, like I've given it all to the customers, clients today, and so that is thing is we all go through a stage of doing it. If you don't realize, okay, I'm gonna give it all when I'm here, but I also need to save For my two hours after work, right before bed on a weekday, and I think weekdays are the hardest days to do that work life balance. So Not only is it hard when you're married or dating, but it's really hard when you're single because you can consume every second into work and, like I said, it's great.

Renee Richel: 35:12

Which you don't figure that out. That goes back to. What we just talked about is how you can get into this rut of loneliness to because you're not doing anything. That's also fulfilling joy in your life so I don't want to turn this into a negative thing of any.

Renee Richel: 35:28

You're doing any of these things, but if you're wondering some of these questions, obviously that people are asking out there, this may be some of the things to think about. When it comes to Finding that right person, and not even finding the right person, that's actually the wrong. Priority is being the right person first, so that then Right person can come into your life because, god knows, you're truly ready on all levels of work, life, balance in all of the details and when you are passionate about your work and you love it so much, it gives you even more energy and purpose and more to share in your relationship.

Connie Sandberg: 36:06

It's just all about. It's all a big balancing act and I think when you're single that that's the hard part is balancing, not to be lonely, balancing work, you know, balancing your identity. It all kind of combines into one. But if you get it right, you know that just makes you an even stronger, even stronger partner when you're at that date and make you even stronger, more attractive to other people.

Renee Richel: 36:27

Which is so true. So we have so much more to continue to share with you. So we're going to do this in like a three part kind of series, which is really exciting. So we hope that you found the first three questions because we have many more to do Valuable and very helpful, as we are going to love and leave you for this podcast, but please tune in next Thursday when we continue this discussion, because we're so excited.

Renee Richel: 36:55

Connie's back and we want to dive into each one of these questions and spend ample time, like I said, talking about them together so that it hopefully helps you when you're out there meeting the love of your life, because you're ready and when you're ready, we want to meet you. I hope you have a blessed day and we will talk more soon. Bye, it's been another great talk on this episode of 1 True Talks by Renee Richel. I look forward to our next chat. Please write in your questions and comments so I can be sure to talk about whatever it is you want to discuss in our next upcoming episode. Lots of love, God bless. Xoxo.