Self-Esteem Snapshot with Guest Amber Weitzel: Part 2

Have you ever caught your reflection and paused, wondering if the person staring back is as confident as they could be? This week, Renee Richel and the wonderfully perceptive Amber Weitzel peel back the layers of self-esteem, inviting you to a transformative discussion about what it means to build true confidence rooted in self-love. Together, we navigate the delicate balance of inflating our self-confidence balloon to the perfect size, offering practical tips to maintain that ideal level, and reassessing our most confident moments to rejuvenate our self-assurance. Amber brings her photographer's eye to the table, illustrating the subtle distinction between confidence and arrogance, and how contentment with oneself can underscore life's most beautiful blessings.

As we journey through the power of affirmations and the impact of setting realistic goals, you'll learn how simple social interactions can significantly boost your confidence - and potentially make someone else's day. We share a heartwarming narrative demonstrating the joy that can spring from initiating a conversation, and the surprising effects a single compliment can have. Then, we explore how community and faith are essential in cultivating a confident spirit that's magnetic, not just on the surface but emanating from within. True confidence, we believe, is a light that guides us towards our passions and purpose, and Amber and I encourage you to realign your life's pursuits with your calling, ensuring that your inner glow leads you to where you're meant to be.

Transcript

Renee Richel: 0:07

Hi, I'm Renee Richel, the founder and president of One True Match. I'm here to help you find and cultivate the love of your life. For over a decade, I've dedicated my life to the importance, purpose and dynamic of human relationships. My team and I are disciplined by faith, love and integrity to help our clients find the quality relationship they've always dreamt of. Each week, I will be sharing the tools and tips I've learned that have rooted my success as a matchmaker with other leaders around the world.

Renee Richel: 0:39

Hello, loves, welcome back. We are still sitting on the chair because we are doing a part two of what we just did a podcast on last week on self-esteem, and while we were about to close our record, we had gotten a message in that came live and in the moment that said what about confidence? So we decided to continue our conversation while we had the time, because the good Lord gave us that opportunity to still have this time to be together, and I thought you know no better than bringing Amber Weitzel back on, who I feel is just an incredible photographer and obviously also just sees the beauty in people through the camera's lens. So welcome back.

Amber Weitzel: 1:24

Amber, yes.

Renee Richel: 1:24

I'm so happy to be here.

Amber Weitzel: 1:25

I'm happy we get to keep talking I know.

Renee Richel: 1:28

So what we're going to talk about, because what goes with self-esteem? If you haven't listened to the podcast prior or any of our podcasts, listen to all of them or all that you can. Right, we have a lot, we have a couple of years worth of podcast records. But if you haven't listened to the other one or if you were, I hope that you've been working on your self-esteem, or you repeat that podcast and listen to it on a daily basis, right or on a weekly basis to remind you how absolutely beautiful you are and how much self-love is just key to all levels of confidence and just your way of walk in life that God made you to be.

Renee Richel: 2:07

Today, let's talk about, or dive into a little bit more about, really what confidence is and what fuels and drives our confidence.

Amber Weitzel: 2:18

Yeah, what a question. I feel like it's a loaded question. I feel like some people try to fake it till they make it and say, well, I'm great. But I think there's a fine line between confidence and arrogance too, right.

Renee Richel: 2:32

Because you don't want somebody. That's too arrogant, because we've all met those individuals right that are just too charming too much of confidence. And then those are the ones you have to also be worried about, because they're too boastful right, Right Too.

Amber Weitzel: 2:46

It's like what are you? What's really going on?

Renee Richel: 2:48

Let's get to the nitty-gritty, it's so true. So I would say, first advice or tip when it comes to building self-confidence is be content, yes, with who you are and where you're at too.

Amber Weitzel: 3:04

Yes In life, you know.

Renee Richel: 3:05

Yes, I know earlier, when we were having a conversation of like, okay, where do we kind of start? Where does this go? Where does the conversation lead? And I think one thing that I say you know every day when you wake up and you know you have a laundry list of things that you need to achieve and you've got decisions you need to make. Obviously, like as a business owner and just in general of also being all the other hats that you wear right too is to just, instead of looking at it like, oh my gosh, I have so many things on my plate, I don't know if I can get it all done. Instead, I always say, like, when I put my toe down right and start the day, it's to say I am so grateful and I'm so lucky that I have today, yeah, and that I have people that admire or need my answers or help to be able to make their lives better each day. Right, and that's a blessing Instead of looking at it like there's just so much pressure that comes with, sometimes, your responsibilities of things you have too, right, and that's a blessing, instead of looking at it like there's just so much pressure that comes with, sometimes, your responsibilities of things you have too right.

Amber Weitzel: 4:10

Yes, there's a song that I actually it's been like my anthem recently. Whenever I'm nervous to go somewhere or feeling anxious on the way there, I'll put this song on and it's called Count my Blessings and it says God, I'm still counting my blessings, all that you've done in my life. The more I look in the details, the more of your goodness I find. Oh, I love that, and so you know I always think about that. You know, in every detail, good, bad or indifferent, you know God is there in the details of all of it, working for your good and to prosper you and propel you forward. You know, I think, with confidence, success is very, you know, prominent in the conversation and I think, being able to be content with, like, I'm going to get there, it's going to happen eventually you know, and it's going to happen in God's timing.

Amber Weitzel: 4:56

I think that's so, so important to remember.

Renee Richel: 4:58

Right, and you know I mean, and I always kind of picture confidence as a balloon with air. Right and the more and more confident we build in ourself right. The air is going to, the balloon is going to expand and expand and expand.

Amber Weitzel: 5:14

Yeah.

Renee Richel: 5:14

The goal is to not let it ape, hop or get too much air in the balloon right. That leads to a disaster.

Amber Weitzel: 5:21

We need to humble ourselves still to a disaster.

Renee Richel: 5:25

We need to humble ourselves still. But if you're in a scenario where your balloon is kind of flat right, or you don't feel like you were, I don't know, a year ago or even three months ago or I don't know, whenever you were at your high, like kind of go back to that place when you were most confident, yeah Right, maybe it was when you were five years old. I have no idea, maybe not that far, because who remembers much of anything like that? But like, maybe it was when you were five years old. I have no idea, maybe not that far, because who remembers much of anything like that? But like, maybe it was when you were 15 or 25 or 48, or I don't know, whatever age or 60.

Renee Richel: 5:51

Who knows? It's like you were most confident. Go back to that memory and get yourself back in that place so that you can start putting more air in your balloon to get to a point where it's inflated to a level of just confidence. Yeah, and I know, in our last podcast we talked about get rid of all the haters, right?

Renee Richel: 6:12

Yes, like pray for them instead of like let them tear you down, and that just also goes hand in hand with building up your confidence. Yes, I know there was a biblical scripture that you were talking about earlier.

Amber Weitzel: 6:27

Yes.

Renee Richel: 6:27

What was it again? I think it was Jeremiah.

Amber Weitzel: 6:29

Jeremiah 17, 7. So it says that you're confident in the Lord and the plans that he has for you and you are worthy of those plans. You know, and I just I love that verse because you know it's from the Old Testament also and I think that you know it's just such a good verse to be reminded of. Like I'm confident in the Lord even if I'm not confident in myself.

Renee Richel: 6:49

You know Right.

Amber Weitzel: 6:50

I'm confident in God and his plans for me, and you know that he created me to be the beautiful person that I am.

Renee Richel: 6:57

you know Right and that I mean God knew every hair on your body before you were even born, and so there is a placement, there is a reason for you, and so when I see people, either you know their confidence goes down or they don't have confidence it's only because they've lost their relationship with the Lord. Who's building up that confidence? Because no one is going to give you confidence more than God, right I?

Amber Weitzel: 7:25

think for me personally, you know, I was feeling really down on myself once and I met up with a friend for coffee and I was like, oh, my hair looks awful and my not my outfit, and you know everything. And you know I like to dress, you know, like you were talking about in our last one, like trendy Dress for success, right you know.

Amber Weitzel: 7:40

And so I was in like sweatpants and I was like, oh my God, I just should not even be out, you know. And I was just feeling really down in myself and just really talking and feeding into that negative self-talk. And she looked at me and said remember that you're God's masterpiece. Yeah, and if God was sitting right here right now, would you be saying the same thing? And I was like, oh, probably not. And so because God created you with the nose you have, the eyes you have, the hair you have, he created you in his image also and like it's almost for lack of a better word disrespectful in a way.

Renee Richel: 8:12

To start, talking negative Right To your own self right, and you only have one shot at this beautiful temple right. Yes and a beautiful temple that God has created, and so why would you tear it down?

Amber Weitzel: 8:22

Exactly, would you tear somebody else down?

Renee Richel: 8:24

Exactly, you know treat yourself the way that you would want others to treat you, right, right, so anytime there's a negative thought or it always goes back to my mother it's always like if you have nothing nice to say, don't say it. Yeah, right. Or if a thought comes to your mind, think before you speak.

Amber Weitzel: 8:39

Yeah.

Renee Richel: 8:39

Right, because words are really hard to erase.

Amber Weitzel: 8:42

Words hold weight and you know, similar to what we talked about in our last one, I think those affirmations are so important. It sounds silly but you know taping a sticky note in your mirror that says like I am worthy, I am worthy, I am beautiful. You know, just saying it and hearing it really helps to kind of drill it in your mind of like, okay, I can walk into the day confident, even if I'm not feeling the most confident.

Renee Richel: 9:01

Right, and I think also for you know I mean we talk about. I am beautiful and male or female, you should always be saying that, right?

Renee Richel: 9:08

But I also feel like for my guys a lot right, because you know we have a lot of male clients, female too. Obviously we're matching both. But it's important to say like I can get this job, I will provide for my family, I will get to where my goals are. I need to maybe share them with people so that they're patient through the journey, they need to be realistic, but all of those things build up confidence, and I always say, like you know, when you're having conversations with people, one thing that is a game changer in every like step of your day is to say good morning or good afternoon or hello.

Renee Richel: 9:52

And it sounds so silly because it's so basic, but so many times we walk around and nobody says anything anymore. They never look up, they don't pay any attention, they're on their phone and they don't give a compliment. I mean, I can't say this enough, but it also gives you confidence back, because usually they either give you a compliment You're not that you're doing it for that reason, but it's almost like this just it like empowers your spirit of doing something nice, right, yes, or just engaging with somebody. So I mean, I think part of today and just in the world we're at is you know, people are working from home more, they're staying in more, and if you don't have confidence we talked about this on the last podcast you're kind of just you're migrating to your couch, maybe whatever you want to call it, or you're substituting this lack of love right for yourself and confidence through television or shows. It's like you're avoiding what truly is your mask, that you're hiding behind.

Amber Weitzel: 10:49

Yeah.

Renee Richel: 10:50

And so confidence has to come from internal.

Amber Weitzel: 10:54

You have to be active, like we also talked about, yes, but you also have to engage like get out, like go, say, like meet people, right, yes, I mean I think that you know, I listened to a sermon once and the pastor was talking about he used the illustration of a magnifying glass and he had one of those like search and find, like I spy pictures. And he was like, see, everything looks small in comparison when you're looking at it, big picture wise. But when I put my magnifying glass up, you know, depending on where I put it, I can see clearly. And he was saying that you know, if you magnify negativity and you speak negativity in your life, that's what's going to be the biggest hurdle for you right.

Amber Weitzel: 11:33

Right. But if you put in positivity and you kind of magnify that in your life, that will be the biggest thing and the biggest, you know, success for your life. And so you know, I think for me, when I'm not feeling the most confident, it brings me joy to give a compliment to somebody or lift somebody else up, because it's bringing that positive energy in right. And so I was in the drive-thru once and at McDonald's I was in the drive-thru and I talked to the worker and I was like how are you today? And I was waiting for her to feed. I was like how are you? And we just got into this conversation and she said you know, you're the only person all week that's had an actual conversation, made eye contact, looked at me like's so true, looked at me like it's such a thankless job and you never know what somebody is going through. She was like you really truly made my whole day so much brighter. It's just one simple like you said, like hello Phrase.

Renee Richel: 12:26

How are you right? I love that question because nobody ever asks, because nobody really wants anybody to answer. But it's amazing how you find that one person, you ask that question and, oh my gosh, god works through that person that he put it. I mean, how many people does God probably put in our path on a daily basis that we ignore? Yeah, everybody wants to know why the plan takes so long, how it takes such an endless amount of effort to get where we want to get, probably because we've ignored a lot of the signs that people look for along the journey.

Amber Weitzel: 12:57

You know, I think it's true for couples too, though. You know, I met with a couple just a couple days ago actually, and they were asked like how did you meet? You know, tell me about how you met. And she was out for her high school reunion at like a restaurant and he was like that's my wife, I know it. And so he's like I got to figure out how to go up to her. I mean, he was a little bit nervous, so he didn't go up to her first and he was kind of standing.

Amber Weitzel: 13:22

They were standing kind of close to each other and she had a similar attraction and so she was like I was trying to think of something to say, but I didn't want to use like a cheesy pickup line or anything, and she goes and I'm kind of awkward. So she was like I just thought to say you look familiar, you look very familiar, do I know you from somewhere? And he was like I knew she was hitting on me. Still he's like but you know, now they're getting married and they've been together five years and you know it's such a sweet story they can laugh about. Now, you know, taking that chance and putting yourself out there a little bit, you know Well.

Renee Richel: 13:51

I think part of confidence, too, is being persistent. Yes, right, I mean, if you think about whoever it is you admire, you look up to, it's because they have confidence. I don't think anybody looks up to somebody that has no confidence right yeah, and I don't mean to say that that's the utopia.

Renee Richel: 14:07

I kind of say it's like the king or queen of where you want to be when it comes to a relationship, obviously, or just in general, just projecting yourself out there, be like proud of who God designed you to be, and confidence is what will always attract right, not boastful, because you also obviously need to be genuine and real, but there's just something about somebody's spirit. When they are confident, it's just so attractive in a way that is like it draws you in and so find somebody, whatever or whoever it is. And it's not about looks, it really isn't.

Renee Richel: 14:48

Confidence comes from within, and so some of the like most confident people that people would say, oh well, they're not as like this, or that are way more sexy or attractive than people that are not.

Amber Weitzel: 15:00

I mean, I think arrogance comes from the flesh and I think confidence comes from the Lord.

Renee Richel: 15:04

Yes.

Amber Weitzel: 15:05

And I think that confidence is so attractive because, like I said, it comes from the Lord and you almost have that Jesus joy about you, right?

Renee Richel: 15:13

Yeah, they believe in themselves, just like Jesus does.

Amber Weitzel: 15:16

That thing that people look at and say, well, I want some of that, I want the pull they're taking. You know it's that. You know it's that confidence helps you to be almost kind of untouchable in a way, like I know I'm this and like I'm strong in that. You know, yeah, strong in who I am, strong in who God made me to be, and you know any negativity. I'm just going to brush it off like a fly, you know, right, it's no big deal I always think about. We talked about a little bit just being still in God's presence in the last podcast and you were talking about how the river is like, where you find your most still place.

Renee Richel: 15:51

Yes, I always say, like I take over you yes, right, there has to be a balance, and there's people that, well, we all know, people that are so super confident that turns into almost a narcissistic type right, right Of controlling and everything else. When we talk about confidence, it's important that you also the most confident, like people that have their life in order and they're achieving their goals, set goals and go after them. Don't let anybody tear them down because they believe in themselves, like you're talking about, right, but they also, all of those people, all of us it gets the best of us.

Renee Richel: 16:31

We still need to be reminded that. You know our confidence can be shattered at times.

Amber Weitzel: 16:36

And how do?

Renee Richel: 16:37

we react is what the trick is. Do we let it internally tear us down, or do we go to a place like the river or the ocean or wherever your place is? Or you like the sun, right? Oh my gosh, I love the sun.

Amber Weitzel: 16:52

That's my kind of trigger for like okay, god's here. I think I could be having the worst day. It's gloomy and rainy and just it's not the vibes.

Renee Richel: 17:02

I am the same way, I'm like gloomy, rainy kind of like, unless it's a weekend and you can take off and snuggle and watch.

Amber Weitzel: 17:08

TV Just have a movie day or like a movie day.

Renee Richel: 17:10

I feel like those are the best reasons to have fun, but unfortunately it rains during the weekdays typically right.

Amber Weitzel: 17:14

Right.

Renee Richel: 17:15

So it's like, what do you do to build that up? Which is funny because Kennedy in our office, she loves rainy days. She loves rainy days. She's like I feel more productive on those days.

Amber Weitzel: 17:23

I'm like really it's so interesting what people like, what different people kind of like or have spoken to you know, but with you know I could be having the worst day and it could be so rainy, and then you know I see the sun peeking through and I'm like, okay, god, I hear you, you know.

Renee Richel: 17:38

I see you, I hear you, I feel you yeah.

Amber Weitzel: 17:40

I see that sunset and I'm like, okay, I know you're here and with me and it's just. I think God paints the most beautiful pictures in the sky, you know, with sunsets or sunrises.

Renee Richel: 17:50

Especially in what you do. You see it all.

Amber Weitzel: 17:51

Yes, absolutely. My friends just had like a sunrise worship session a few weeks ago for Easter. Oh, I love it. And so you know, there's something to be said about being in the presence of the Lord in his creation. And there's something to be said about being in the presence of the Lord in his creation and you know the Bible talks about he created it and saw it was good, you know, and you can kind of see that thousands of years later now, you know, and it, just it, gives you this peace and calmness, I think, in the storm of life sometimes.

Renee Richel: 18:18

Yeah, yeah, absolutely, and so if it's something that you lack or you're looking to improve again we've said this now all the time I feel like it's so important to if you're off kilt or off your normal confidence level of routine, it's so important to spend time with the Lord, wherever that is, and ask him to take this negativity out of your spirit, your soul, and to replace it with the chip of life that he's given you. That's so beautiful, right.

Amber Weitzel: 18:51

Yes.

Renee Richel: 18:53

And to crank it up, to have it also be what drives you towards the things that you love. I think also there's so many times that confidence is torn down because we're doing something we don't feel is our calling or is our purpose, or it's not giving us that desire to want to wake up every day and go do what we're doing.

Renee Richel: 19:17

So I mean, I know and obviously what we do. I never would have thought in a million years God would be putting us on this path to find people, true human love for the rest of their life. But it's also truly what drives me every day. It's my mission. Like I love love, I love people and I just want them to be elevated by each other, to make more beauty in what they do right.

Renee Richel: 19:40

So it's also, whatever like yours is photography, right, seeing something beautiful that people don't see until they come back and they're like oh my gosh, look at me, right? Yes, like who knew, and it was from you telling them how beautiful you are, how you compose like this, how you could do that, how you just capture their essence, and so that is something that I also say. You know, even if you're in something you're like I'm not really the best at my career yet, or I'm not best at that, figure out what your skill set is right. Like, figure out what you are good at and you want to be on this path. Then delegate or find what you're really good at and just excel, because that is what it, whether it be.

Renee Richel: 20:19

You know, like I talked about earlier, I was afraid of public speaking and then I realized God gave me a voice for a reason. I need to use it. Yeah, it's just, it's so such a game changer. I feel, like when you surround yourself around people that are confident, and if you are not in a group of individuals that are confident, I encourage you to find people within a church group, or, you know, I mean churches just love on you, right? They're there to enrich you and if you're in a church that you're not plugged into, find a church that obviously does, or just outlets of things that are going to bring you up, whether it's a course, whether it be like. I mean, there's so many different, you know, meet groups and things like that that are just there to fuel your mind to build you up.

Renee Richel: 21:07

Like, take a class on a Tuesday or whatever day it is that's going to elevate you.

Amber Weitzel: 21:14

And I think you know God calls us to be in community with others. You know, and I think that it's so important you know it's not even so much. Even if you are in a place that's confident, you know you can still pour into other people. You know you's not even so much. Even if you are in a place that's confident, you know you can still pour into other people. You know you can still be a blessing and a gift to others also, right.

Renee Richel: 21:30

Be a leader out there for others right. Yes, yes.

Amber Weitzel: 21:33

And I think that even if you're not feeling the most confident and you are in a relationship, I think that you know it's okay to bring that to the table and say you know, I'm just not in the best place right now and I think, having your person, whoever you're with you know they should love you in all the ways. Love is patient and kind and all the things Right.

Renee Richel: 21:51

Ask them to pray about whatever it is that you're feeling unconfident and have a conversation, because that's the other thing, especially in relationships. Somebody then who's around you starts to feel like it's them Right. When you don't communicate and you don't say listen, I know you're here for the good, the bad and the ugly and the sickness and in health and all of it.

Renee Richel: 22:16

Right now I'm just in a tough place and right now, like I don't really want anybody to fix it, I just want to share that I'm struggling with this and so if you could help me pray for this, that would be powerful and I know I need to do something right about it, and that is a really great way to, obviously when it comes to relationships, when things kind of go one way or the other and obviously, if you're single listening to this, it's really important you practice some of these things before you're obviously going to meet the love of your life and when it's the right one, god will direct you with the words, when and how to say it. So have confidence in him first and foremost, and the rest will fall into place the way that it's supposed to.

Renee Richel: 22:53

I love that so we are so grateful to have these conversations as we're talking about gratitude, too, within yourself, and thank you for whoever it was that wrote in the question for us to continue on, and we love it when we can just engage and have important conversations to hopefully elevate your life in ways that empower you to be better out there, to love more, and tune into our podcast on Thursdays they always come out in some of our previous ones and we can't wait to have our next chat. We're going to love and leave you and hope you have a blessed day. Bye, it's been another great talk on this episode of One True Talks by Renee Rochelle. I look forward to our next chat. Please write in your questions and comments so I can be sure to talk about whatever it is you want to discuss in our next upcoming episode. Lots of love, god bless, xoxo.