God's Footprints in Personal Lives: The Healing ABC's of Mental Wellness and Faith with Witlee Ethan

When Witlee Ethan opened up about her transformational journey, it wasn't just her voice that captivated us; it was her incredible resilience and faith. Our latest conversation, set against the backdrop of Mental Health Awareness Month, delves into the intricacies of her life's tapestry, woven with threads of love and faith amidst adversity. With a nod to Jeremiah 29:11, we trace Whitley's path from a Christian upbringing to a pivotal moment of surrender, and her passionate advocacy for sexual assault survivors, highlighting the fusion of spiritual growth and social justice.

The alphabet becomes our guide in navigating the choppy seas of mental health as she opens up about her personal battles with depression and anxiety. Sharing my ABCs—for mental health, Awareness, Balance, Connection, and beyond—these letters map out a toolkit for resilience, hope, and healing, underpinned by faith in Jesus Christ. Through this framework, we find a shared language to discuss the mental health journey and the importance of each step in fostering a community of support and understanding.

Our episode wraps up with a celebration of the curious minds that bring vibrancy to our discussions, like our extraordinary guest Witlee, whose story is a beacon for others. We touch on the bedrock of well-being—exercise, yielding to change, and the restorative power of sleep—and ponder life's profound questions through the prism of faith. Encouraging our listeners to continue the conversation and explore their own spiritual and societal queries, we sign off with anticipation for the next inspiring dialogue destined to ripple through the fabric of God's work.

Transcript

Renee Richel: 0:07

Hi, I'm Renee Richel, the founder and president of One True Match. I'm here to help you find and cultivate the love of your life. For over a decade, I've dedicated my life to the importance, purpose and dynamic of human relationships. My team and I are disciplined by faith, love and integrity to help our clients find the quality relationship they've always dreamt of. Each week, I will be sharing the tools and tips I've learned that have rooted my success as a matchmaker with other leaders around. Hello, loves, welcome back.

Renee Richel: 0:46

I am so excited to bring on one of our favorites, Witlee Ethan, to talk about something that obviously it is the month of mental health. However, we're also bringing her on as a guest in this series about God's footprint in people's lives and what they're doing. And Witlee the whole reason we connected forever ago is because of her heart for the Lord in all that she does and, you know, wanting to have a thirst to figure out even more what God has for her. Calling to help other people that have gone through life scenarios to make them whole and complete, with the Lord first, and then, obviously, to be healthy and whole in a relationship, which is why we work together on so many, so many different things when it comes to better health and just security, when it comes to the next relationship we're in.

Renee Richel: 1:43

So I'm going to start off by asking you some of the questions, and then everybody wants to get to know you a little bit better, and then we're going to also dive into what you're doing with this amazing, incredible mission that you're on. So, obviously, tell everybody a little bit about what, like who you are and what the update of things that are going on in your world right now.

Witlee Ethan: 2:04

Yeah, so I am a certified life and relationship coach. I'm also finishing up my certifications to become ICF certified, also board certified as a mental health coach, a trauma coach and a biblical counselor with the AACC, the American Association of Christian Counselors, and I'm also a victim advocate for legislative reform American Association of Christian Counselors and I'm also a victim advocate for legislative reform, and currently I have a bill that is being worked on by other legislators and the attorney for the NCCASA, so we're really excited about that. It's going to be a bill that protects not just victims and survivors of sexual assault, but protects women and children from perpetrators being able to re-offend and recommit crimes. So it's a really good step in the right direction for the change we desperately need.

Renee Richel: 2:55

I love that. I love that. So tell me about when you first found. What is your testimony of when you first found the Lord in your faith?

Witlee Ethan: 3:09

Yeah. So I was raised in a Christian home and I mean my parents say I asked God into my heart when I was three. But as I grew up and everyone's like, oh yeah, you experienced this change, I was like what change? I don't feel any difference. And I didn't. I didn't understand what this change was.

Witlee Ethan: 3:26

And it wasn't until I was a teenager, coming out of a really difficult relationship where I literally fell down to the floor on my knees. I was in so much pain and grieving so much and there was so much I didn't understand and I was struggling to trust God. And in that moment I said, ok, if you exist, I need you to take this pain away. Like it just felt like this heavy cloak, this heavy burden, and I said take it away instantly and I will believe and I will follow you for the rest of my days. And in that moment I remember touching my face because a tear was falling down, but I didn't know why I was crying anymore, because I felt no pain. All the pain had been lifted and I was like, oh my gosh, I mean I knew you existed, but thank you, I needed that sign.

Witlee Ethan: 4:20

And I mean that really changed the trajectory, because we all go through horrible things. We all have suffering and heartache and trauma, that we experience brokenness, and that really helped to put me for everything I was going to face, that I had no idea I was going to face, and I will say, mental health. One of the things that was surrounding that breakdown was I had attempted suicide and it failed, thank God, thank God, yeah, the doctors had told my family if I'd gotten there an hour later I would have been dead and getting that second chance at life. And you know, just with the experience I had with God, it really helped me to understand that it didn't mean that things were going to be okay and that there would never be any pain anymore. It just meant that I could trust him for when I went through those valleys to walk through and get me through those storms, and that's kind of been what's helped me to get through everything. I mean writing this bill was because I'm a survivor of sexual assaults. I couldn't have survived that without God.

Renee Richel: 5:35

Amen, that is so true. And so how does God work in your daily life today, or, and what routines do you have that keep you, you know, infixated and in love with him on a daily basis?

Witlee Ethan: 5:49

Yeah, and I will say this you know it's not a quick thing of you. You have a relationship with Christ and it's like, okay, no matter what happens, you can get through it. There's still hard times where you can question things and be like God I don't understand and we there's something that happened where we might not ever understand it on this side of heaven, um, and so you know, I have to have daily talks with God, and some of those talks are I don't understand what you're doing. Um, I may never understand, but I'm going to choose to trust your word, even though it feels like you might not be moving on my behalf, though I know you are. It doesn't feel like that sometimes, but I'm going to trust your word and what your word says of you know.

Witlee Ethan: 6:33

Jeremiah 29, 11, for I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. And sometimes that can be really hard to believe when we're not seeing the fruit of that, and so that's when we have to. It's blind trust. It's. You know what was it? By faith and by sight, you're basically believing the things that you can't see, and it doesn't mean you're not wrestling with God and having hard time, which is a good thing, because I will tell you, in the time that I wrestled with God he's, that's the time he's refined me and made me more of a woman of God that I am, and I grow closer every time. I'm brought to my knees and I look up, I'm always brought closer to him and so, even though it's hard to go through that, I'm grateful for it bringing us closer.

Witlee Ethan: 7:24

So, spending time in God's word, I like the Bible app. It's got on the go. When I'm busy and I'm having to get through things really quick, it's like, okay, I have like five minutes, what Bible plan can I read? I have a prayer war room. I go in and I pray. I am on my hands and knees. I love that. Yep, I have my coffee, um.

Witlee Ethan: 7:44

But I also really try to use you know what I've gone through because it says we already carry each other's burdens and by doing that we help others to know there's hope that if we got through it, others can get through it too. So I'm very authentic and vulnerable with the things that I've gone through the hard stuff, the easy stuff, when he's been there, when I feel like he hasn't been there, but all circling back to God's always there, like no matter how bad things are, god is always still good and it's a choice. I intentionally choose to keep trusting him and following him and having a relationship with him. Even when I might be mad at him or I don't understand what he's doing, I still trust him.

Renee Richel: 8:27

Well, I always say it's like working out right. I mean, in order to stay healthy and you know, keep your temple, the gift that God has given us strong you have to continuously work your muscles, which part?

Renee Richel: 8:42

of that is your brain, which is part of that is learning and which part of that is reading the Bible for sure. So I love that. That's awesome, which also so tying that into the question of also what we talked about, which is mental health month as well, and what you do. Literally, god has made this your calling as much as ours. Right to find people to help them through the journey, to getting them to the right relationships in life, not just in romance and love, but just in general, so they're like the best version of themselves. So we love working with Whitley and some of our other incredible experts in the industry that really are the full package when it comes to. I always say we work with sex therapists, we work with life coaches, psychologists all the things to be our best version financial people right To help us to be the best that we can and discover truly what God has made for us. So I want to dive into something that I love that you created.

Renee Richel: 9:46

I think, it was, or you were a big part of it, which I want you to tell us a little bit about. You know, obviously, this month being Mental Health Month, and what your ABCs are as far as advice to take going forward to others.

Witlee Ethan: 10:03

Yeah, you know so, with sharing about my suicide attempts when I was a teenager. Mental health is something very close to my heart because it's something that I still do have struggles with from time to time with anxiety and depression, PTSD and so I try to figure out a way to reach more people but also giving them hope, and, especially as a mental health coach, that's really important to me, especially as a believer in Jesus Christ. So I came up with these ABCs of mental health, each letter standing for something. So we have A for awareness, like are you aware of your thoughts and your feelings? B for balance Having balance in your personal and professional life. It's so important. Balance. So many people are like constantly on the go. They have no balance. Right Connection this is something I see people struggle with a lot, especially my clients, whether it's just in work relationships, romantic relationships, couples struggle with it. It's something that we really need to work on.

Witlee Ethan: 11:09

Diets your diet really impacts your mental health so much If you're not eating your rest, if you're not eating the right foods and fueling yourself, it's going to wreak havoc on your mental health. Emotional regulation Okay. So many people don't know how to regulate their emotions and then that can cause issues within relationships. That's really important for you to be aware of what triggers you, what's upsetting to you, and knowing how to regulate it. Fulfillment is F what fulfills you. So many people don't know who they are or what they want. They don't know their likes, they don't know their dislikes, and that's so important to know, especially if you're getting a relationship. You don't know those things, then it's going to be whatever the person that you like. What they like is going to be what you like, right, and you're not going to be your own person. You're going to be mirroring.

Renee Richel: 12:03

And you're not fulfilled because you stopped doing what you loved and you started doing what you loved.

Witlee Ethan: 12:08

They don't want to date themselves, they want to date who you are. Gratitude it is so important when we are stressed and we're going through things. If you can write down three things that you're grateful for each day, it will help to change your perspective on life and what you're going through. Help seeking is H so important? So many people are afraid to ask for help and there's a lot of stigmas with this, because a lot of times they don't get help and they're treated as you're weak. Right, you're struggling with this. No, actually they're not being weak. It's actually them showing their strength, that they're able to ask for help, because a lot of times this is why suicide has been on the rise. They didn't ask for help, right, and we need you to ask for help. We don't want to get to that situation.

Witlee Ethan: 12:56

I inner peace so important. You need to have calmness, tranquility. I have a nice little water feature back here to create a nice little calming atmosphere. What is your inner peace? What's going to bring you peace? Certain relationships aren't going to bring you peace and you might need to say peace to them to get them out of that relationship so that you're in a good place. J journaling Journaling is so important Writing down your thoughts, how you feel. Sometimes we might want to say something to someone and it might be better to write it down than sending it to them or saying it to them and just getting it out. That way you don't need to say everything to everybody, just it's not going to be well received. Right, kindness so often I'm seeing a lack of this just across the board, even on social media. Being kind, no idea what someone might be going through and the impact that just a smile or a hi, how are you?

Renee Richel: 13:53

Or a compliment.

Witlee Ethan: 13:54

I always say yes would make the biggest difference. Laughter, laughter is such a good way to help yourself get out of funk.

Renee Richel: 14:05

It's a great way of medicine, of just like medicating yourself of laughter is good Smiling like just start, like just even if you feel bad, I always tell everybody just smile, like, just smile. Amazing how it creates a different energy.

Witlee Ethan: 14:18

Yeah, so so true Mindfulness. This is so important and something that I'm seeing a lot of clients saying I wish I had someone that was mindful. I wish I had someone that was kind of socially aware of themselves. This is so important being mindful of even your expressions that you might be giving someone when they're telling you something, or just like how you interact with someone and just how you feel Like are you mindful of what you're feeling right now when this is happening or that's happening? Just being mindful, it's really important. It's a mental health skill that a lot of people don't have. Right Non-judgment.

Renee Richel: 14:56

Oh, this one, this one every day. I wish I could. Just everybody had this non-judgmental mindset.

Witlee Ethan: 15:06

And the matchmaker just saying and I will say that, like in all the courses I've taken in coaching, that is the one thing that they say when you're about to coach a client remove all bias, like you can't have judgment and you can't. Here's the thing. Nobody wants to be judged for choices that they made and no one especially wants to be judged for choices other people made that you were then impacted by. It's not loving, it's very toxic trait and it doesn't help anyone.

Renee Richel: 15:34

Well, or you miss opportunities. I tell everybody all day long. I cannot tell you how many of my clients are with the right person now, because everything they told me I didn't listen to it, because I'm not judging. I don't mean everything, but it's like you know you've got to take down all of your prejudgy ways so that you can actually not miss an opportunity that's right in front of you, and then let the Lord lead you how he wants it to unfold.

Witlee Ethan: 15:59

Yeah, and what I've noticed of those people that are very judgmental. I want you to take an inward look, because that actually shows how judgmental and critical you are of yourself.

Renee Richel: 16:10

Right, right, and that comes from somewhere. Right, like if you're very judgmental, I mean, we can get in, we can spend hours talking about all these topics, but you know if you're around people that are super judgmental. You become judgmental Like if you're going to watch terrible news, that's all toxic, you're going to start putting that out there and you're going to start feeling down. So sorry, okay, carry on O is optimism.

Witlee Ethan: 16:34

So maintaining a positive outlook. That can be really hard when it feels like your whole world's crumbling down, and I've had moments like that, and so what I do is I find joy in the little things. What's the positive outlook of this? What could come from this? When I was a victim survivor of sexual assault, what could be positive that could come from this? When I was a victim survivor of sexual assault, what could be positive that could come from this? I rang a bell. It's going to save lives, right? I never expected to ring a bell, but I'm ringing a bell. Do I wish it hadn't happened? Absolutely, but I'm trying to make the most of what happened and not focus on the negative, but focus on what good can come from something so bad. Right, perfect.

Witlee Ethan: 17:20

What is your purpose? Do you know your purpose? Like? What are you passionate about? Because that's usually where your purpose comes from, and it also comes from something that you might have gone through that's leading you to your calling. Guys, it was not ever my dream to be a coach. It wasn't. It actually just came about in 2022. And a lot of that had to do with Renee and the conversation we had, and now I couldn't imagine doing anything else. I mean, I just love this. I feel like I'm in my elements. There's nothing I would rather be doing, and I'm taking all these courses to become the best coach I can be, to help as many people as possible, which goes back to one of our original questions.

Renee Richel: 17:55

when we connected, it's like what is your purpose, what is your calling? And a lot of people don't know the answer to that. A lot. And another big reason why having a life coach to help you figure all of that out, because I always say, by the time we start doing what we do, we need people to be ready, truly ready.

Witlee Ethan: 18:10

Oh yeah, quiet, to be ready, truly ready. Yeah, oh yeah, quiet time. It is so important to debrief and go somewhere else, like you need time to yourself, you need time to process things, um it. You know, I've talked to couples and I'm like it's okay if you need to walk away, if walking away means you're not going to say something you shouldn't say, or you need to kind of like calm down a bit, like come back but walk away for a little bit. You need quiet time. You just need that time to just replenish Resilience, developing the ability to bounce back.

Witlee Ethan: 18:45

This is something a lot of people don't know how to do. Something happens, they get knocked down and they can't get back up. It's mind over matter. You know you have to make a choice. Do I want to stay defeated? Do I want to stay stuck, or do I want to do everything in my like, everything possibly I can to move forward and get out of where I am right now? You have to choose. It's not easy, but it's a choice you have to make. It's not easy, but it's a choice you have to make. Resilience is such an amazing skill to have, and especially in a relationship, because when you're with someone, you're going to go through highs and lows and they need to know that you can handle it Right. I mean, you can fall apart together, but you're still there, so pushing through. You need to be able to do that Self-care.

Witlee Ethan: 19:32

Self-care is caring for self. It is so important Whether you need to fill the bathtub, whether you need to take a walk outside, get fresh air, breathe it in. This is kind of where grounding comes in, where you invoke all the senses. What do you see, what do you smell, what can you touch? You know, what can you hear. All those things Like self-care is very important. People don't practice it enough and then they get burned out. To avoid getting burned out, practice self-care Right.

Witlee Ethan: 20:00

Trigger no way Triggers you, which this is really important. Sometimes people don't know what triggers them until they're triggered. But when you realize that you're triggered, you need to take note mentally of okay, that triggered me. I need to be aware of that for next time, that when my partner does this or when I'm in this type of an environment, I have an escape route of if I need to leave and get away from it, I can do that. Or if I need to have a conversation with my partner of, oh, I'm feeling triggered. Don't like lose your cool on them, but like ask them to help you. You're in this together, like it's not you against each other, it's you against the world, like you're together, right, right, remember understanding, be very understanding of each other, of just also knowing yourself. But when you're in a relationship, it's really important to listen more than you talk, but also listen to understand, not listen to respond. Too many people listen to respond and really the other person was just wanting a sounding board and for them to be heard. When you're listening to respond, they don't feel heard, they don't feel seen, they don't feel validated. But when you listen to understand, you're getting to know them and it creates an intimate connection.

Witlee Ethan: 21:17

V validation validating, acknowledging wins, acknowledging the other person Wow, thank you so much. You did this, this was so helpful. Wow, you overcame that. Like, do you realize how amazing that was? Like validate them or wow, that must've been really hard. I can't even imagine. I am so sorry that happened to you.

Witlee Ethan: 21:36

Validate W well-being Prioritizing well-being, including physical, mental health. What are you doing? Are you taking supplements? Are you joining this fitness class? What are you doing to promote your overall optimal well-being? X exercise. Are you exercising, getting out, walking, going to a bar class? Are you going and doing Pilates, yoga, lifting weights, whatever it is, surfing, kayaking, paddleboarding, pickleball find something and do it. It's so helpful to release those toxins. And just to release that stress can be just very helpful in helping to sustain your mental health.

Witlee Ethan: 22:24

Yield this is something that people probably haven't really heard of or thought of, but yielding is the capacity to let go of thoughts, behaviors, patterns that keep you stuck. Yeah, this pattern isn't serving me. This mindset isn't serving me. I need to change it. I need to work on rewiring my brain and how it thinks or sees or views this. I need to change this or that in order to move forward. This happened to me. I'm going to let go and it will never impact you again. That's not how trauma works, but letting go of certain patterns and behaviors that are destructive to you or others is a way that you can yield.

Witlee Ethan: 23:10

And then Z sleep. Rest is so important. We all need rest, for sure. All need rest. It's so important. It really is the time that your whole body does a whole equilibrium reset. It also helps your body to heal. It helps growth and everything in development to take place during that time, when you are lacking sleep, your body isn't able to function the way it needs to for you to be at optimal level of being able to function. So that's really important. So those are the ABCs I love it?

Renee Richel: 23:46

Yes, and if you are, we're going to have all of your information, obviously, in our notes. So if any of those ABCs resonated with you and you want to, or seek deeper understanding and prioritize some of those things to be your best version of yourself so we can match you with the right partner and vice versa, for a match, please contact, obviously, Witlee or our office to be connected with her so that we can make sure you are doing all of your ABCs to be the best person that God's designed you to be. One last quick follow-up question that I do want to ask before we have to jump off, is if you were to meet with God face-to-face tomorrow, what would you ask him and why?

Witlee Ethan: 24:33

You know, I think probably every time that I've thought about this like I've even asked him these questions before is why is this happening? Why has that happened? And though there's times I don't understand it at that time, it's usually revealed at a later point, kind of going back to the sexual assault thing no idea why that was happening, didn't understand it, felt abandoned by God. But to see so much change happening from it, it's like okay, you knew I would fight through this. You knew I would be a voice for others, whereas maybe somebody else might not have been if they had gone through it. And you knew that I would do whatever I could to make sure that there's justice. I didn't know I was going to be writing a bill, but God knew that I would and that he would use me as a vessel to accomplish that. And so when I think back on that, it's like okay, now I understand. Right Now I understand I went through that. Now I understand what the purpose of that was.

Witlee Ethan: 25:31

Sometimes the things we go through, it's not necessarily for our purpose, for God's plan for us, but more so for what will it be used? To help so many others and when? You can look at it that way that it's not only maybe for my good but for the good of others. Like Genesis 50, 20 says what Satan intended to harm you with, god intended for my good the saving of many lives. You look at trauma and heartache and hardships and violence and just horrible, horrific situations a lot differently when you look at it through how God sees it.

Renee Richel: 26:07

Amen. I so agree. That is a great question to ask. So thank you always for joining us and being a part of this world to make people a better place that God has designed for them and just be not only a light but an inspiration to so many other people. So I'm beyond proud of you and all that you're doing, and it begins with a curious mind, right. I always tell everybody to have opportunities that come your way, so we are going to love and leave you and remember to write in and ask us questions and particularly maybe to Witlee or just in general of any of the subjects we've talked about today and tune in to our next podcast next Thursday for another incredible, inspirational person that are doing great things in God's work.

Witlee Ethan: 26:55

So we hope you have a blessed day.

Renee Richel: 26:57

Bye blessed day Bye. It's been another great talk on this episode of One True Talks by Renee Richel. I look forward to our next chat. Please write in your questions and comments so I can be sure to talk about whatever it is you want to discuss in our next upcoming episode. Lots of love, god bless XOXO.