Overcoming Common Dating Challenges in Modern Dating

Can overcoming the fear of rejection transform your dating life? Join Renee Richel, founder and president of One True Match, as she shatters the stigma around rejection and provides strategies to view it as a stepping stone toward healthier relationships. Explore the intricate dynamics of long-distance relationships where strong communication is the bedrock, and learn why deep, meaningful conversations can outshine superficial texting. Renee emphasizes the importance of seeking different types of individuals to avoid repeating past mistakes and building a genuine connection that could last a lifetime.

Ever felt pressured by external opinions in your new relationship? This episode sheds light on managing expectations, especially concerning family and friends. Discover why keeping your budding romance private initially can save you from unwanted stress and how Proverbs 3:5 encourages trusting in the Lord over seeking approval from others. Renee delves into the significance of transparency and knowing someone deeply before introducing them to your loved ones. Prepare for an enriching discussion as we gear up for our next episode, focusing on prayer and discernment in seeking God’s will in relationships. Don’t miss out on these insightful tips every Thursday for nurturing meaningful, healthy relationships.

Transcript

Renee Richel: 0:07

Hi, I'm Renee Richel, the founder and president of One True Match. I'm here to help you find and cultivate the love of your life. For over a decade, I've dedicated my life to the importance, purpose and dynamic of human relationships. My team and I are disciplined by faith, love and integrity to help our clients find the quality relationship they've always dreamt of. Each week, I will be sharing the tools and tips I've learned that have rooted my success as a matchmaker with other leaders around the world. Hello, loves, welcome back.

Renee Richel: 0:45

As we talked about last week that we are going to continue on with what I feel like are all dating, relationship and love questions, that we're doing in this series is today we're going to talk about, for more of our singles, overcoming common dating challenges. The world of dating is so difficult, as you clearly know today, and even us, being a matchmaking company, hearing everybody's stories that we are heartbroken on and hear how challenging it is. So I thought it would be really relevant to talk about this topic today and dive into just a few of the challenges, which I know there's many more, some more topics of things to talk about, but today we're going to talk about the challenges of long distance dating, maintaining purity when it does come to your dating life and then also handling expectations. So let's dive into it. So number one I feel like, when it comes to this particular topic of what the world has become in the dating world for our singles, is the fear of rejection. So if you're somebody that has gone on a few dates which I'm sure you have, if you're listening to this podcast and you're single, it has really taken a toll on people psychologically, because if the world isn't tough enough to deal with rejection in just areas whether it be your career, whether it be you know, I don't know just something that you're really looking forward to going after and it doesn't work out.

Renee Richel: 2:27

Looking forward to going after and it doesn't work out, it kind of builds, it tears down your self-confidence, and so one of the most important details to do is to remember to you know what you're told or what happens is not you, it's just maybe not the right timing and you're going after something or you're looking in the wrong direction of truly who God has planned for you. So, instead of looking at it as you've been rejected, you're not good enough, you're not attractive or handsome or beautiful enough, at the end of the day. You want somebody that truly is going to love you inside and out for who you are, and stop taking the personal rejections as something that's personal, which is easier said than done. But I'm here to tell you, on a positive note, that you are beautiful, you are handsome and you are amazing to the one that you're supposed to be with. Are handsome and you are amazing to the one that you're supposed to be with, and so look at it more as a lesson to be learned and stepping stones that God wants you to walk through or on to get you to the love of your life. And during that time, part of what we say to be prepared for the next relationship is don't keep repeating the past. Right, like, don't keep going after the same type of individual and start thinking through and trying to meet different people, because otherwise I mean, we're all creatures of habit Then you're going to end up mostly with the same result. I can't tell you how many times as a matchmaker, how many of our relationships or how I mean not our relationships how many of our clients have ended up to begin a relationship for the rest of their life with somebody. That is a true hidden gem, and it's not that they're not physically attracted to them and it's not that they're not amazing across the board, but there may be something so minor, that is so big that they would have never considered that then truly becomes the biggest, like they're just infatuated with this person because of that difference they never thought of. So I'm just giving that advice as help that I also feel like it makes you better, right when we have rejection or we have hurt or something of that nature. It makes us stronger once we can see the good and what was meant to be from that Like it says Romans 8, 28, is all things work together for the good when it's God's plan. So remember that. Number two would be communication. So I know long distance relationships are never ideal they aren't. However, some of our best relationships and just in general foundational building tools is great communication, and when you have long distance, that, I know, is a barrier when it comes to love. It's also a beautiful thing to spend that time organically, naturally getting to know each other and having conversation. The lost art today in dating that I feel is number one as a huge problem is that people don't know how to communicate anymore. They just want to get straight to the answer and they don't actually know how to do the art of the dance of communication which is slowly getting to know somebody. And I don't mean slow, like take oh months to get to know somebody before you meet them. I mean, have a call, have two calls. If it's exciting and going well, then whatever it takes, jump on a plane, a train, a bus, boat, I don't care any form to get to that individual. And you know we are traditional. I do feel like it is a man's job, biblically speaking, do feel like it is a man's job, biblically speaking, to also, you know, pursue and go after a woman if there's an equal interest. Likewise that the woman also needs to show a man that she's interested. And with the lack of technology and, you know, social media, it also just has really killed the art of communication. That people are now just spending more time texting, which is fun and playful and I get it, and people are busy and you want to just say a little hello, but as soon as you can actually be traditional in the sense of having a conversation with somebody, that's what carries the relationship to a deeper level, just psychologically, emotionally, and then also brings two people in that chemistry side, when they're together, deeper in connection, and to be able to be honest, to be vulnerable, to have open communication is another huge part of communication, right? So there's so many times when we talk to you, know our clients or just in general, sometimes matches, and the reason why we're going through the world of dating today is people don't feel safe, they don't feel secure and they definitely don't want to be vulnerable and it's not that they don't want to be, but we've all built up this exterior shell of protect, don't share. You don't know if this is going to be serious. We don't know if this is going to go in the right direction, which I agree with. You definitely want to be safe and secure and secure. However, earlier than later on, it is so important to talk about communication and your different styles and be prayerful when you're engaging with anybody that you don't know. So the Lord leads your conversation and hopefully in your mate, because if you're both praying for each other, you should be in that path to be able to guide your words that are important when they're important, and to stop thinking ahead of what you should be saying and being in the moment, but also be aware of how somebody else can feel and give people chances, like we've all put our foot in our mouth at some point. Right, we've said things we didn't mean to say. We have, you know, tried to recover things and maybe even made it worse. But do know, in the beginning people are either nervous or people don't really know what to share or not share. But my advice to everybody is to always give somebody if there's enough curiosity and there's enough laughter and just excitement to see maybe it's not the first thing, is that physical attraction, but it has all the other qualities and values and morals and belief you're also looking for. Give it three to five dates. People are just dating once or twice and then saying, eh, I don't really know, you shouldn't know after two dates, you should. Honestly, you still don't even know after three. Your goal is to get to the third date. When you're at the third date, your goal is to get to the fifth date and by the fifth date you're going to know whether or not you want to go on the sixth and seventh date. And once two people go on seven dates, they're at a different level because they're also have grown through the experiences and the conversations and the communication that they've had to build that foundation that is so important. Number three, I would say that people lack in today's world of casually dating is purity, and so obviously in the Bible it states you know, date with intention. Obviously, set boundaries, be accountable, don't be too easy. I mean, this is so basic, but so many times people are jumping too quick into a relationship and it gets complicated and it's so hard to break. And once there's that it's just a whole different level of then you realize who somebody is because you jumped in too fast and you truly never got to know them for who they are. So I want you to remember the word purity when you're dating, to hold that as an accountability factor to yourself, so that you are not fleeing from any part of your belief that really is not God-centered and who and what you're looking for in a long-term relationship. And if somebody's too quick to want that out of you and not be respectful, that you want to wait or take your time or whatever God is laying in your heart to do, then they're not the one for you. You should never be in a relationship that's feeling forced or pressured, just like it says in 1 Corinthians 6, 18 through 20, another verse that we talked about in our last podcast, that it's important to also, when you're seeking answers in any of this, is to turn to the Bible and look for the words that you need to give you that purity that gives you that strength that helps you overcome the fear of rejection or any of the things we're talking about, or even just learn how to have better communication skills. And the fourth one would be, I would say, talking about expectations in family. Respect. Independence, like it says Proverbs 3, 5, is trust in the Lord and not for the understanding of other people's approval. So another tip that I love to give to everybody is, if you start a relationship with somebody, have that be between the two of you. Get to know each other for who you are. Don't change your social media status. Don't tell all your friends, don't tell your family, other than, obviously it's important to tell one or two people for safety reasons. If you've never done a background check or you're not meeting them through our company, and if you've not met anybody, of course we want to know you so we can introduce you to safe, secure and emotionally ready and mature individuals that are dying to meet you. We just need to know that you exist, right, but going off that is. I think family and friends sometimes put too much pressure on us to find the one. So I tell everybody all day long in the season of, they're like everybody's telling me I've got a date and I just feel like I want to focus on my career or whatever. Or when they ask me this question, I don't know what to say. And then I kind of say I'm dating, and then they want to know all the details because they're like curiously, especially if they're dating, engaged or married, they're like wanting to know all of the latest that's happening in your life. I tell everybody if you're truly not ready or if you're in the season of dating somebody, just tell them you're dating Jesus. It's amazing how many people Then stop asking questions because that's the best love you should be dating through the rest of your life, first and foremost to have a healthy relationship, whether you're single, dating, engaged or married, and stop worrying about what other people will think until you truly know somebody for who they are and vice versa, where then, when you share, after dating somebody for a couple of months and you've made it to almost the first quarter of a relationship, then you start introducing them to your friends and family, because now at this point they see you madly in love, or at least getting to the phase of about to fall in love with somebody that treats you like gold and vice versa, and ultimately that's what your family and friends want to see. But it's too early in a relationship to have anybody see anything other than the exterior, and so that's when everybody gets opinionated on the littlest things. So when we go on a date, you know we might hear something and we're like well, I don't know. And I have to be honest, we interview for a living all day long. So we do two steps, sometimes three round interviews, and our candidates that we find for our clients. We do the same thing for our clients. We want to make sure we're representing the hearts that we feel proud of to represent, and I can't tell you how many interviews I'm on in the first 30, 45 minutes and I'm like, okay, I have some questions, I don't really know. And then you jump on another call when you go to the next round, which we do a video verification, obviously at that point, and we asked deeper and understanding the things that they said and they were organically, completely transparent with us, because we don't share anything about our client, and that's the whole reason we do that. So we get them for who they are, which is no different than when you're on a date. Right, people are just sharing because you're asked a question, are just sharing because you're asked a question and I don't want anybody to filter something that's not like important or something that you feel like you should share but you didn't share. But share the highlights, because what happens in the beginning is so many people will judge every single word you're saying, and so spend time to reflect process and think before sending that it didn't work, message or ghosting them which is always worse and prayerfully asking how to respond. But I don't know anybody that doesn't appreciate communication, answers and better understanding, not only to understand how somebody feels, but also to understand, maybe going forward, what would be helpful for somebody else. So I think that as you're out there dating today remembering these four little tips or a ton other that please, you know, check out our other podcasts to remember and think about, so that you are setting yourself up for success just right out of the gate in the most simple details that are very important in dating today. So tune into us, with us every Thursday as we bring more and more relationship advice and tips. Whether you're dating single, engaged or married whether you're dating single, engaged or married, please forward this on to other friends and people that are going through the steps of finding true love or continuously growing a relationship to get to the utopia of love that continues to last and grow. That should be rewarding. It should be enriching and fun when you find the one. Next week, we are going to talk about prayer and discernment in dating and how to seek God's will in all things when it comes to finding the right partner. So I hope you have found this beneficial and helpful and I can't wait for our next chat soon. Have a blessed day for our next chat soon. Have a blessed day. It's been another great talk on this episode of One True Talks by Renee Richel. I look forward to our next chat. Please write in your questions and comments so I can be sure to talk about whatever it is you want to discuss in our next upcoming episode. Lots of love, god bless. Xoxo.