The Other Side of Fear

How Can You Find Peace After Leaving The Battlefield ? | with John Lawyer

Kertia Johnson Season 1 Episode 25

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Key Takeaways:

- Within the 'Stream of Unconsciousness', lies our socio-cultural conditioning, societal conventions and expectations. While we must function within this world we must caution against getting lost in it. It is important that we return to an awareness of who we fundamentally are.

-  In order to experience the light, we must first face the darkness. In so doing, we are better able to put the light into perspective.

-  Self Love and Self Compassion are integral to our healing.

When life's battles leave deep imprints on our souls, where do we find the strength to transform? Our guest, John Lawyer, a former military counterterrorism agent, unveils his extraordinary transition from the frontlines of conflict to a path of spiritual awareness. He shares the raw and vulnerable journey of self-discovery post-service and  opens up about the seven-year odyssey of grappling with his identity outside the military and, the epiphanies that guided him to a profound understanding of universal oneness.

This episode unfolds the inspiring tale of John's resilience and the quest for inner peace, as he navigates through the dark, swampy aftermath of his former life to the light-filled terrain of self-love and spiritual awareness. John's story is a stark reminder of how the tumultuous moments we face can either consume us or become the catalysts for transformative healing. Join us as we explore the impact of Presence in the face of adversity and the indelible power of embracing one's true self, all through the lens of someone who has walked through the storm and emerged with a message of hope and unity.

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Kertia:

This conversation touches on the idea, as Eckhart Tolle would put it, of not being lost in the substance created by the unconscious mind, but realize that many of our most challenging situations become amplified through unconscious reactivity, whether through words or physical reaction.

Kertia:

And there is just so much truth in that, because if you can think back to a moment when you were faced with a challenging situation or person and recall your state of mind during that moment, if you were in a state of unconsciousness or unconscious mind activity, meaning a state where you were thinking and operating from the less aware version of yourself, a state of disconnectedness that makes you more prone to anger, frustration and even chaos in more extreme cases you'll find that whatever solution you conjured up while operating from that state of mind to solve the issue you were faced with, you most likely made the situation worse on one or both ends, because you were in a state of reactivity rather than being in a state of presence or awareness that would have better prepared you to respond.

Kertia:

So, stemming from that, in this episode John Lawyer speaks about the importance of self love. On his path to healing, navigating through the darkness felt from being detached from his true self, an inner turmoil that was compounded by years spent in the military as a counter terrorism agent. And, in his own words, john has gone from walking through a swamp of sadness to now being on an amazing path of spiritual healing and awareness. Let's get right into it. So you were a warrior in Kuwait, baghdad and Kandahar and you went from that to being a warfare specialist, amongst a whole lot of other things, in the US military, and now being on this spiritual journey that you're on, those are like two worlds apart. Can you tell me about your journey and how did it lead to you being here right now?

John:

Sure, absolutely. I joined the army right out of high school. I knew that college probably wasn't for me, so I had always wanted to do something in counter terrorism and intelligence. So I joined as a counterintelligence special agent and went to training for that. This is before 9-11. And then I got to my first permanent duty station in the military and come to find out they were. I got put into a real world counter terrorism office, which was kind of a dream. And then 9-11 happened and obviously that was life changing for everybody, especially for me and our unit.

John:

And I spent the next two and a half years of my five-year enlistment in Kuwait on and off, and it was supporting soldiers and our soldiers in Afghanistan. Then it came time to we invaded Iraq and when that happened they attacked us at Camp Doha, where I was at in Kuwait, with ballistic missiles. We didn't know what was going to happen with that because in the first call for the Patriot missile batteries hadn't worked right, and at this time they did and they shot down the incoming ballistic missiles. But it was pretty tense. And Then I Got out of the army but I stayed involved with the military as a civilian and my wife and I went to Iraq as civilians for 18 months in Baghdad and did similar work in counterintelligence, counterterrorism and same thing dealt with the, you know, going down roads that might, might or might not have IDs and rocket attacks, things like that.

John:

And Mm-hmm and then we came home for a while again and then I ended up spending another six and a half years consecutively in Kandahar, afghanistan, southern Afghanistan, and that was kind of a it's a long time to do one thing and to be in one place like that and a lot of Kind of a lot of low-grade, low-grade trauma.

John:

You know where you're, you're not sure what's gonna happen day to day, and some high-grade incidents that happen on and off, and and then, you know, my wife and I decided that it was kind of time to stop being in the desert of war and go home.

John:

And so we went home and I Kind of didn't know who I was and I Didn't really have an identity outside of being Like doing that job that I did and I would really good at it and all that stuff that comes along with that being who, who I was, and so it was kind of hard to heal and find myself and it took Took about seven years before I could really start to catch my breath, I guess, as it is, and I wasn't on a spiritual path, and One night I was sitting around in bed, my wife was asleep and I just kind of had this moment of like pure understanding or clarity of the universe and oneness and Holeness.

John:

And I knew that I Was okay and I was gonna be okay and I Knew that I wanted to try to help people help themselves, kind of, where I had been or if they were looking Out on the spiritual. I get all just kind of rushed in and I knew that I wanted to go do something and give back and I knew I was like, okay, maybe I can create an online spiritual community and but it was more than that. It was.

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