- Are the ideals we are taught to uphold, truly idealistic?
- We already know who we are and what we are meant to do, we just need to remember.
- We need to experience the losses, and the definite 'No’s’, so that when the definite ‘Yes’ shows up, we immediately recognize it and are able to align with that.
Have you ever felt the pressure to Succeed on Everyone Else's Terms ??? Have you ever felt like life’s milestones are just ticking clocks you can't keep up with? Have you experienced that emotional rollercoaster that comes with not meeting societal timelines? If any of this feels true to you, then this episode is for you friend.
In this special solo episode, I share my personal journey of feeling lost and confused as a "late bloomer". Getting into some of the struggles and pressures many of us face when trying to discover our true paths amid societal expectations. This episode is a heartfelt conversation aimed at anyone who feels they’re falling behind in life or career, encouraging you to strip away external identities and redefine your self-worth on your own terms.
- Are the ideals we are taught to uphold, truly idealistic?
- We already know who we are and what we are meant to do, we just need to remember.
- We need to experience the losses, and the definite 'No’s’, so that when the definite ‘Yes’ shows up, we immediately recognize it and are able to align with that.
Have you ever felt the pressure to Succeed on Everyone Else's Terms ??? Have you ever felt like life’s milestones are just ticking clocks you can't keep up with? Have you experienced that emotional rollercoaster that comes with not meeting societal timelines? If any of this feels true to you, then this episode is for you friend.
In this special solo episode, I share my personal journey of feeling lost and confused as a "late bloomer". Getting into some of the struggles and pressures many of us face when trying to discover our true paths amid societal expectations. This episode is a heartfelt conversation aimed at anyone who feels they’re falling behind in life or career, encouraging you to strip away external identities and redefine your self-worth on your own terms.
Hey, there you're listening to the Other Side of Fear podcast, where we talk about how personal affairs has hindered your ability to take that next step that will get you to where you aspire to be. What will it take for you to stop playing small and start playing big? Let's get into it, hello, hello. Okay. So today's episode is going to be a little bit different because it's just me today. Today I am going solo and, as a matter of fact, the second season of this podcast will be a little bit more like this. You will hear a little bit more of my voice, of my stories, and me just breaking down concepts, getting deeper into concepts that we've kind of already breezed through, I guess, in some of the conversations on this podcast.
Speaker 1:
So today I just want to kind of address the so called late bloomers, for lack of a better term. You know, I sort of kind of, I guess, consider myself a late bloomer as well. It took me a while to kind of discover my path, discover what it is that feels true to me. It took me a while and it has been a struggle. To be honest, it has been a struggle. There are many times when I felt completely confused and lost, you know. So, for anyone who feels like it's taking you way too long to figure out your shit, to figure out life, to figure out your career path, to figure out what you're actually good at, your abilities, your talents, your competencies, whatever that may be, whatever that may look like, this is for you. You know, for those of us who are considered late bloomers, we take a little bit longer to figure out what we want and what makes sense for us, and some of us already know what we want. But we get lost in other people's opinions and expectations of us and we often feel pressured or rushed to accomplish certain goals or hit certain milestones in a certain time period, by a certain age. So many certaints. But the one thing we often become uncertain about in the midst of all of this is who we are, who you are separate from your family, from the people and environment we're used to, from our culture, from who society said we should be and what we should aspire to. And thinking along those lines, who are you? Who are you without your goals or accomplishments? Who are you without your possessions? Who are you when you stripped away that external identity we've all developed in order for us to participate in society, to survive this world, because our journeys were not meant to be assessed based on our accomplishments or what we have or don't have. It's so much deeper than that and I'm sure you all know this. But we limit ourselves when we strive for these ideals of what our lives should look like and then use that to create an assessment of our worthiness, of our deserving factor, of our value. Because when we can't meet the standards that has been set or hit those goals when we're supposed to, our self-worth is in jeopardy. And I've definitely been there.
Speaker 1:
You know, personally, there were times when I felt like I was failing at something. I was failing at life. I was failing at figuring out my career. I was failing at figuring out what I'm even good at. I couldn't even figure out what I wanted to do half the time, to be honest, and I kept beating myself up because I couldn't meet some pie in the sky that has been placed over my head. The sky that has been placed over my head and for some reason I just couldn't reach it. No matter what I did, no matter what steps I took, I just couldn't reach that pie in the sky and I felt like a failure for the longest time, and it was super, super frustrating because I felt like and it was super, super frustrating because I felt like, well, what is it that I'm not doing? What is it that I need to be doing? So, yeah, it's a shitty place to be. You know, I would be thinking what is wrong with me? What's my problem? Why can't I finally get this one thing right? And I know for anyone that's been through this you begin to feel like a failure. You might even be thinking that life is unfair. You might blame yourself, you might blame other people. You're tired, you're stressed, you're frustrated. Things just aren't panning out the way you think they should, especially when you've done everything, right, right, when you've taken all the steps, when you've done all the things, when you've read all the books, and the list goes on.
Speaker 1:
I'm sure that we're all familiar with the downward spiral of self-loathing, with a negative self-talk and questioning your capabilities and, on the far end, maybe even depression. But who created these ideals anyway? And are these ideals truly idealistic? Really, think about it. The things that we were told we should want. Who does it serve? What system or systems does it uphold? How much of ourselves are we required to give up to attain it? To live up to these ideals, how far outside of yourself are you willing to go to get it? And how does your value increase or decrease based on your ability to attain it?
Speaker 1:
So if you find that you've been unable to accomplish something and it's affecting the way that you feel about yourself or maybe you have actually accomplished the things but somehow you still feel like it's just not enough, you still feel shitty about yourself I'm here to tell you that your value and your worthiness is inherent honey. It rests on nothing outside of yourself, outside of you simply just being. You are valuable, just because you are. You are enough without all the frills and the things we are taught to believe will make us enough. We are definitely more than the sum of our accomplishments, of what we have or don't have. And don't get me wrong, having goals and standards are great. In fact, goals and standards are necessary because aspiring to something to be better than we are today is essential for our growth and our evolution as a species. So wanting to accomplish big things magnificent. That is a part of our evolutionary trajectory as human beings to grow, to make new discoveries, to create.
Speaker 1:
But the issue is when our identity becomes defined by things outside of ourselves, by our parents or family in general, by religious or political affiliations, by our culture. When we tie ourselves up with the expectations of others, when what we want becomes associated with the expectations of our parents and family members expectations of our parents and family members when we think we must achieve certain things in order to be happy to be valued and, in a broader context, when we stress about doing things in a certain way that has been laid out by our culture or any other affiliations we may have, whatever else we've attached our identities to, even if some of those values are out of alignment with who we are, you are going so far out of yourself, in essence, stifling parts of you that makes you you. You begin to separate from your authentic self. At the end of the day, only you know what's in your best interests. Only you know what feels right for you, what feels in alignment with your purpose, your passion or your natural inclinations. So if you're a late bloomer like myself, you've probably struggled with keeping all that external noise in check. I don't even think late bloomer is a good term, because we're all on a journey and a lot of the things we struggle with are what teaches us the most valuable, most profound lessons. So, yeah, a part of that journey means sifting through the bullshit to figure out what feels right for us.
Speaker 1:
From what I've experienced myself, I've come to believe that we do need to experience the losses, to experience the definite no's, so that when the definite yes shows up, we recognize it right away. The thing is, we are always surrounded by somebody who is telling us what we should want, what would be good for us, what we should aspire to, and most of the times they truly are well-intended. And, as I said earlier, we can take this even further and talk about it at a cultural or societal level. And what society tells us is valuable by who is rewarded in society, who gets the recognition and the accolades, who gets to be acknowledged and appreciated, who gets seen, who gets heard, who gets validated. But we won't go down that rabbit hole today. But what we should realize is just how unique our individual journeys are and how limited we become when we allow others' expectations and the external pressures, all the background noise, to guide us.
Speaker 1:
Want the things we think we want Essentially, when we are out of alignment with ourselves, with our passion, with our purpose with our natural inclinations, what we are naturally inclined to do, what we feel pulled to, what feels good in our heart, what our gut tells us.
Speaker 1:
In the grand scheme of things, our journey is all about the experiences we create as souls in this human form. So why should we limit ourselves to the ideals set by others when the possibilities are so unlimited that we can't even think of them all? So the next time you feel stuck, go with the option that feels most true to you. Deep down, you already know who you are and what you're supposed to be doing. You just need to remember. All right, guys. Thank you so much for tuning in. If you're enjoying the podcast, please subscribe and share with your family and friends. Definitely follow us on our socials and for those of you who'd love to get bonus content where we really get deep and personal, I'd advise you to join our patreon community, where we really get into it. Until next time, thank you.
