Transform Your Pain to Triumph | with Jennifer Pilates

Key Takeaways:

-  Tune out to tune in. Step out of the matrix to change your world. 

-  Our dreams are just beyond our comfort zone. But we must be willing to lean into what we fear. 

-  The importance of movement to help get you centred, especially when shifting your mindset sounds like a challenge.

Celebrity trainer and spiritual advisor Jennifer Pilates shares her incredible journey from a corporate role in the senior living industry to a holistic healing expert after a devastating car accident. In this episode, we explore the profound importance of acknowledging and sitting with our negative emotions, yet remembering the power of intuition and how it can be enhanced through movement, meditation, and mindful practices. Emphasizing the transformative power of physical movement, from walking to dancing, as a vital tool for emotional processing and reconnection with our body, mind, and spirit.

From dictating a book chapter while displaced by a hurricane to using Pilates for spiritual connection, Jennifer reminds us of our innate resilience and creative potential that, can emerge even in the most chaotic circumstances. Tune in to learn practical ways to break through blocks and align with your highest self, whether you're navigating entrepreneurship or personal challenges.


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Youtube The Other Side of Fear Podcast

Kertia's Email: discovertheothersidepodcast@gmail.com

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

This episode is a little bit late, but it is still so relevant and still very much needed. Our health and wellness expert today is Jennifer Pilates, a celebrity trainer, intuitive coach and spiritual advisor. And this conversation with her is a reminder that it's okay not to have all the answers. And when we're having a hard time it's important that we sit with that fear, the anxiety, the pain or the grief of that situation, because we can't spiritual bypass our way out of our problems. So before we meditate or get to the positive thoughts or affirmations, before we get to that mindset shift that we all want, it's first important that we meet ourselves where we're at, to sit with the heaviness of our burdens, to allow ourselves to feel it, but don't stay there forever. And Jennifer was great at pointing out another important piece of this, and that is movement To physically get out of the space you're in, change your scenery, go for a walk or do some type of exercise, even put some music on and dance around your house for a bit, because the movement itself can help to alter your state of mind, whether that is bringing in a sense of calm or elevating your mood, but most importantly, it helps us to move those emotions through our bodies. It helps to get us re-centered, and when we're centered it's easier to come up with solutions to our problems. And the centeredness is what makes it possible to get to that mindset shift.

Speaker 1: 1:33

So if you're someone who feels like you can't sit still enough to meditate, or you can't quiet your thoughts long enough to get into that space of stillness, or you feel like you're in way too deep right now, you can't possibly positive affirmation yourself through it. You're drowning and the last thing you want to hear is someone telling you to shift your mindset or change your perspective. Just move your body, because there are more than one way to get there, my friends. Baby steps, baby steps. Just go easy on yourself. Okay, jennifer, how's your morning been?

Speaker 2: 2:20

Lovely here, ready here.

Speaker 1: 2:26

I think you'll like this Ready. Oh, I love that.

Speaker 2: 2:33

That's perfect. This will clear out whatever was, so that whatever needs to be can be.

Speaker 1: 2:46

Yes, I love that. Okay, let's get started. That just set the mood All right. So, jennifer, I know you're into the holistic work, holistic healing space. Tell me somewhere about that, how did you get into it?

Speaker 2: 3:03

Well, it's an interesting story. So back in 1997, I was climbing the corporate ladder in the senior living industry. I'd been in it since I was 15 years old. It's all I knew and all I was programmed to know. Right To climb the corporate ladder and go, go, go, go go, and you know, get married, have 2.5 kids, the whole nine yards.

Speaker 2: 3:23

And so one day I was driving home from work. I was incredibly miserable. I wasn't happy. The dynamics as I climbed the ladder changed and what I loved about the job being an advocate for family, being an advocate for seniors it became about the bottom line and the numbers. It became about the bottom line and the numbers. And so I was really unhappy and I wasn't quite sure like what to do. And boom, on the way home I was in a horrible car accident, very traumatic. Six lanes of traffic and a car came barreling at me. I saw it coming, I had nowhere to move and that changed the trajectory of my life forever.

Speaker 2: 4:03

In that moment in time, I was in and out of doctor's offices for eight hours. I was seeing all sorts of incredible holistic practitioners as well as traditional doctors. When this happened, I was in a place called Boulder, Colorado, which back then it was the Mecca of alternative health care. And so this is where I began to experience all sorts of different modalities and that is where I was introduced to Pilates. Ultimately. I was in so much pain, I had a lot of soft tissue damage from the base of my skull down into my pelvic region, into my low back area, and it really made a difference in my world. And so for one year it really made a difference in my world.

Speaker 2: 4:46

And so for one year I rehabbed with Pilates, as well as other modalities and and um, just learning how to connect body, mind and spirit, which was very different than how I grew up. I didn't know about any of this where I grew up, um, on Cape Cod, back in Massachusetts, and so it really changed things for me. And then, when I was able to go back to work, I could only work a few hours at a time, and here's the kicker I was specializing in Alzheimer's disease. So when I went back to work and I was surrounded by that population, no one recognized that I still wasn't well. I didn't recognize that I still wasn't well and, long story short, the company, a lot of dynamics were changing. They were going public. I was miserable and we knew we needed to make cutbacks. And so I've made a very, very adult decision at a young age and I went in and I said you know what, If someone needs to go, then lay me off, I'll take the hit.

Speaker 1: 5:45

And as crazy that sounds.

Speaker 2: 5:47

Yeah. The day that, all of a sudden, my big regional director showed up was like, hey, you want to go to lunch? I'm like, yeah, totally, hr lady, she was good French. Like I'm going to come too. And I was like, oh my gosh, it sounds amazing, right, like the writing was on the wall for this lunch we go to lunch. And they're like, well you know. And so here I am being laid off and I'm like wait, what? What do you mean? You don't right.

Speaker 2: 6:13

It was in the ego. The ego kicked in and was like wait, what happened? And so it was the best thing that ever happened to me. It was wonderful that I empowered myself one to make that decision and then to work through it. And then that's when my car settlement came through, and it was a little bit of money.

Speaker 2: 6:30

Ironically enough, it was just enough to go to the Pilates center, which was in Boulder, colorado, which is the Harvard of all Pilates schools. So when you really talk about the universe having your back, the universe was like here you go. And so I had been rehabbing for the year and even a few instructors really had said you know, you should really consider going to the school for this. And so I didn't even think twice. I just followed those nudges and my mission in going through was that if I could help one person to not be in pain, to not feel what I felt, that was my mission. And now fast forward, 24 years later. I've helped thousands of people around the world and I'm so blessed to continue to do that work and really help people to heal and to connect on that body, mind, spirit level.

Speaker 1: 7:18

I love that. That is just. That's such a brave move, though know what I mean. It's so hard to switch from corporate to following something that you're more in alignment with. I find that you know, because you're thinking about the bills and all those things and the changes and what those changes might mean for your life. It's really difficult. So I think that move you did like it is so empowering on all different levels, so empowering it really was, and it was one of those things that I didn't sit and think about those or how was I gonna?

Speaker 2: 7:58

you know as as that that that entrepreneurship came out in me and no one else had. I didn't even know what entrepreneurship was Like. I was just like, oh, I'm going to be a Pilates trainer now and this is what I'm going to charge and these are the people I'm going to help. And that's just how I went for it, Never thought twice about what if that was never part of my, my thought process, right, Like nobody had ever been there yet to go wait, wait, wait, you know. And so I just went for it.

Speaker 2: 8:27

Where I have other friends who are like well, I think I'm going to be an entrepreneur, I'm going to make a business plan, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that. And while I think that that's great for some people, for me it's never been that way. I've had seven Pilates studios from the East coast to the West Coast, and everyone has just happened. And every time I say I don't even want to say it, I don't want to jinx myself now, but I won't do that again Like I just it's, it's in me, Like I just love being an entrepreneur and I love even more so being able to show up and help people.

Speaker 2: 8:59

And it was scary, and there are scary moments. Right there's now. I have those thoughts of well, how are we going to pay the bills or what's going to happen? And you know, as you grow and as you change and as you lean into what you are afraid of and out of your comfort zone, that's where your dreams are, that's where the magic happens. And so, you know, I really encourage people to show up and I really help people to feel empowered within. Whether that's job related, relationship related, health related. There's so many different ways for us to connect within ourselves, to tune out, to tune in. When we've been so programmed to let everyone else manage our world and tell us what we should do, when this, that and the other thing. And the moment you step out of that matrix which is exactly what the universe did for me in that car accident moment, your whole world changes.

Speaker 1: 9:53

That's absolutely true, and you also said that you're an intuitive medium. Do you think that this played any role in what you did? Because you know, as an entrepreneur like, of course, course, there is the basic skill set, right, and then the basic knowledge that you have to see, but also a part of entrepreneurship or just anyone doing any type of business um, it takes a level of being connected to your intuition as well. Sometimes you really have to follow your gut, right? I mean, a lot of times you really have to follow your gut, right? I mean, a lot of times we should, because usually our gut instincts are really, really correct, right? I think a lot of us just haven't learned how to tune into that more. So, you being an intuitive medium, how did this play a role in that new trajectory that you took?

Speaker 2: 10:43

Yeah, well, it definitely expanded. Yeah, you know, it expanded the gifts because I was truly tuning in. I didn't know before that that that's what I was like. I knew, like, oh, I could read oracles or oh, I just knew stuff. And it had been like that my entire life. And when I was able to really tune in and my gifts became expansive through that moment in time, that's when I realized I actually had had these gifts from a very, very young age.

Speaker 2: 11:10

And that's it's my superpower, truly being able to just at times, be able to go yes, no, yes, no. And when I use this superpower and helping other entrepreneurs with their businesses, it's even, it seems way more heightened when I use it for other people. Right, when you're doing things for other people, it's way easier than when you're doing things for yourself. And I can remember I was in LA with a friend and he was going to be opening up a jiu-jitsu school Sorry, I didn't mean to butcher that word and he was like, yeah, I'm looking at all these spaces and I was like, okay, like let's just drive around. And he'd be like driving down the road and I'm like it's not here. He's like we're not there yet. I'm like I don't care, we don't need to go, it's not here. And so we went through like 10 places in an hour and he was like that was crazy. How did you know the one place that that I had suggested for him?

Speaker 2: 12:11

But he, even though someone gives you that information and I always tell people I can give you all of the information and all the clarity it still has to resonate with you and this is still your journey. You have free will, so it's really important for you to also follow your guidance, important for you to also follow your guidance. But this definitely I mean catapulted my intuitiveness, my healing abilities. It made me look at Joseph Pilates, the originated, the original person that he started Pilates, like in the 1800s, and it made me look at him in a whole different way as a healer, not just a trainer or instructor or a boxer. He did lots of fun things. It really changes the trajectory of how you look at people and how you watch people and it's a blessing, it's a, it's such a huge blessing to be able to have that and just to be able to listen to my gut and trust, like that's really hard.

Speaker 1: 13:02

Yeah, it's not easy. I love everything about what you just said, because that is one aspect of us as human beings that it's there to guide you. It's such a useful tool, but what does it take for us to kind of connect with our intuition? I know you know we speak about meditation a lot on the podcast and you know mindfulness, but do you know of any practices practical practices per se that could help us with connecting or listening more to our intuition or bodies? What do you think about that?

Speaker 2: 13:45

Absolutely. I really feel it's about again tuning into your body, and for every person, meditation is very, very different. Some people truly like a traditional meditation where they're in quiet and they're working with their breath. For me, meditation is my walks in the morning and the evening, my meditation is my Pilates practice. When I am in my Pilates practice, everything else goes away and I'm releasing energy and moving energy, and I find that to be very, very expansive, and so I really encourage people to align with the movement.

Speaker 2: 14:20

Is that Pilates? Is that yoga? Is that going for a walk? What does it look like For me? Definitely with Pilates. Is that yoga? Is that going for a walk? What does it look like For me? Definitely with Pilates being able to connect that body, mind and spirit, because it's a very somatic practice that no one ever talks about, because we truly do work with that breath, work and really go so deep in our bodies that we're releasing so much, which then allows the energy to flow through, which allows all of your intuitiveness to open up, to be heightened in all these messages to come in. So I think that's a great way.

Speaker 2: 14:51

As well, as you know, I'll also take moments and lay down and do more of a traditional practice with Reiki music and just allow, um, some people. Honestly, I always talk to my friends and I will joke. I'll be like hey, I was just in the shower thinking of you and I got this message Like the shower is an incredible place for people to get messages because the water is cleansing you and it's washing away that outer layer of energy so you can get clear. So those are a few places or a few ways. You know people can also work with writing and I say you just start journaling and you can just like, just start writing anything and the next thing you know, words will come through that you never thought would come through. So there's lots of different practical, easy ways that when you're going for a walk, like pay attention to you know some people will call them downloads, hits, whatever you want to call it. Pay attention to those little nudges because there's always something behind them.

Speaker 1: 15:54

I love that, and everything you said is just true For me. Mine is writing. I get so much insight because, naturally, I've always been a writer. So much insight because, naturally, I've always been a writer. So naturally, whenever I write, I begin to write things that weren't even in my mind beforehand. So that's where I get a lot of my intuitive messages from. So that's really cool. Thank you so much. Sorry, were you going to say something? I?

Speaker 2: 16:21

was going to say something you remind me of. I, um, last year I coauthored a book with three incredible gentlemen and I was really nervous about it, right, like I was so nervous, like how could I write? Like sit and write a book, Like what was I thinking? And it happened in this crazy time where there had, where I was living at that time, there had been a hurricane. We were all displaced, living in FEMA hotels, like I didn't know my head from my feet. I was a mess, mentally in trauma.

Speaker 2: 16:53

And I got the call and they were like Jennifer, yeah, we need your chapter now. And I was like what? And I'm like, okay, show must go, I'll figure it out. I grabbed my phone, I put in my earplugs and I went for a walk down by the ocean and I started I'm going to cry. I started dictating to myself and, exactly like what you just said with writing, there was stuff that came through that I didn't know where it came from. By the time I got back to my little hotel room and I downloaded it and I you know, I used Descript as a, as an app, and it printed out everything that I had said. I had a whole book, I didn't just have a chapter. Wow.

Speaker 2: 17:37

And it was so it was messages like to me from my guys, from the universe, from, you know, gods and angels, and it was amazing. And so I say for people who might go gosh like I thought I could never write a book, that's okay. You don't have to physically write it. That might be your way. It was so impactful, Just like what you're saying. I had no idea and clear only a quarter of it even made it into the book because there was so much.

Speaker 1: 18:06

That is amazing. That is so amazing. I totally connect with that because you know, there are some times when I have writer's block or sometimes when I feel a little bit disconnected. You know, when you feel disconnected and you're just like, ugh, it's not the right time, like today is not the day, and I kind of sit down and sometimes I might say a little prayer or ask for support. You know, maybe ask for support from my guides, or just sit and take deep breaths and then I'll write, and then things will just come to me. You know, like I'll start with something I don't know.

Speaker 1: 18:49

I don't know whatever it is that comes to mind at first, but after a while it just begins to flow and these are words that were not in my brain prior. You know that I didn't think of thoughts that I didn't think of before. You know it kind of comes as a surprise, like oh wow, where did that come from? You know what I mean. So that is really cool. It's really cool that you were able to do that for a whole book. So is that the book called the Change?

Speaker 2: 19:24

Yeah, yeah, that's the book that I was a part of. Yeah, that that chapter, and. And they were like, okay, like we have to cut this down. They're like we and I'm like, well, how am I? I'm like you can't have to cut this down. They're like we and I'm like, well, how am I? I'm like you can't the message Like. And it's so funny because when I read it back, like I have trouble because I know what is supposed to be there versus how it ended up, which is fine, um, because there was like so much more to it. But yeah, it was an incredible experience to one right, get on that other side of fear, of fearing. How am I going to write this? And now, not only like it's not like I was in a comfortable setting, I was displaced, I didn't have a home, I never had written a book before, let alone co-authored a book, and ended up doing it in such an incredible way. That was right for me.

Speaker 1: 20:11

Do you think you will kind of, do you think it's possible for you to put the rest of what you didn't include in that book into another book which is just your own?

Speaker 2: 20:23

Yeah, yeah, I actually have. You know how they'll say. Some people will say I have various books throughout my house that I'm reading, you know, and they're here, there and everywhere, and I do have that too. I have a few books that are in the works here, there and everywhere in my house. And yeah, that's part of it. So it's, it was an incredible experience and a way to go. I could literally write like five books in a day. The way that I did that, oh my God, it was incredible. I'm so happy to hear that.

Speaker 1: 20:51

Oh my God, it was incredible. I'm so happy to hear that. I'm really glad to hear that.

Speaker 2: 20:57

I hope it inspires people to know that just because somebody has done something one way doesn't mean that there's not another way. And I always encourage like, if you want to do something, go look at someone who has already done it really well and then adapt how they've done it to you and bring you into it and so there you have it. Like Gabby Bernstein, she and I had talked and she was like yeah, I dictate everything into my phone. I'm like you do. I hadn't thought about that that day when I was doing that, until after the fact, when she had come back, popped back up again and I thought, oh my gosh, you know that had been in the back of my brain, but I didn't really pay attention, I didn't really think about it. I was just so freaked out of not having a home, not knowing how I was going to show up and be my best self for this incredible opportunity.

Speaker 1: 21:52

Yeah, and it's just being open. You know, the thing for me is I have you know, the podcast is called the Other Side of Fear, and I'd like people to know that I still have a lot of fears. I still struggle with debilitating anxiety. I have just learned to manage them well and I still go through it. I still have a lot of things that I'm afraid of doing and you know a lot of things that I'm afraid of. You know, maybe, goals that the steps towards taking those. You know taking those steps towards those goals.

Speaker 1: 22:30

Sometimes they're still scary for me, but from leaning into the fear, taking those steps anyway, regardless of how I feel, I am usually pleasantly surprised by not only the results but how expansive the experience becomes for me.

Speaker 1: 22:51

You realize it's not as scary as you once thought it was, but not only that.

Speaker 1: 22:56

There's just so many wonderful things to learn when you can lean into the fear and take the steps that you need to take, regardless of how scary you feel, the anxiety that comes up around it, the thoughts that come up around it, around it, the thoughts that come up around it and I love what you said you being afraid, you weren't in the best situation and sometimes it's like that, you know, because I've heard it so many times oh, I want to be a hundred percent ready for this, or I need to make sure that I have all these things in place before I take this step or that step in order to get something done or go somewhere or do whatever it is that you know needs to be done.

Speaker 1: 23:40

But there is never a perfect moment or a perfect time for anything and the situation is never a hundred percent right. Right, but it's to take that step, take the next step and see what happens, and then maybe you can take another one after that. So I love when you pointed that out, that you weren't in the perfect situation, you know, it seemed like things were kind of crumbling around you.

Speaker 2: 24:08

Oh, they were crumbled. Yeah, it was like they're literally hurricane, crumbled it, nothing.

Speaker 1: 24:13

Yeah, things completely crumbled around you, and I think what I like to call these moments tower card moments.

Speaker 2: 24:25

Exactly, exactly, totally, 100% yeah.

Speaker 1: 24:30

When everything seems like it's falling apart, the whole building comes crashing down.

Speaker 2: 24:37

And I actually say it's really falling together. Yes, right, and it's happening for us. It's not happening to us.

Speaker 1: 24:44

Yes, yes, I love to call these tarot card moments, because, exactly, you weren't in the right space, even mentally, to get this done, in the right space, even mentally to get this done, and then you did what you did, allowed yourself to be in that moment. That kind of puts you in a state of expansion and there it is, all the information came to you. So I love that. Yeah, that's such a that's such an amazing lesson.

Speaker 2: 25:12

There's such an amazing lesson in that it really is right, because you think of I'm going to sit and write and I'm going to have the desk and the candles going and the ocean in the background. And no, I had fighter jets flying over my head because I was right outside of an Air Force base. I had kids screaming. I mean it was just and again. It's the unexpected moments that are the most beautiful moments I feel in life. It's the journey, it's not the destination.

Speaker 1: 25:42

Exactly, exactly that I want to know. You know, just touching on this being an intuitive medium how can we, what insight do you have as to how we can begin to transform this fair based mindset? Because I think sometimes when people hear transforming your mindset, it seems like such a big task, you know. It seems like, well, how am I going to change my mindset when I have this going on in my life? You know, um, things are happening around that you know make you feel uncomfortable and you feel like maybe you don't have enough of something, you don't have enough money and you have kids to feed and you have bills to pay, and you know a family kind of speak to people sometimes about changing the mindset. It seems like how do you expect me to change my mindset when my life is falling apart?

Speaker 1: 26:46

You know what I mean.

Speaker 2: 26:48

I get it. And again, that's one of again a superpower when I work with clients, because nine times out of 10, I've been there. Superpower when I work with clients, because nine times out of 10, I've been there. I've had the traumatic car accident, I've been ripped away from home from a category five hurricane. I've lived in FEMA hotels, I've had heart surgery. I've had family die. I've had you know it's. I've had the anxiety and the pain and the debilitating on the floor, and I think that that's something, one that people appreciate.

Speaker 2: 27:15

You want to be with someone, whether they're your coach, your mentor, whatever it is. You want to be with someone who's walked your path. Maybe you're getting divorced, maybe they haven't been divorced, but they're a child of divorce and they're going to actually give you the insight of how to handle the situation. There's all sorts of different ways, but when you're in the muck, when you're in the thick of it, whatever it is, that's when I always say stop everything that you're doing, get up, move at literally get out of your space, go for a walk, do something that's going to clear your mind, but you've got to get out of the space you're in. Literally, just doing that is going to change your mindset. It's that hard and that easy. And so for you, if you're like Jennifer, well you can go fly a kite, I don't want to go for a walk, I got you. Can you get up and can you turn on some music and I don't care what it is and can you just, like, dance around your house and yell and scream. That in and of itself is changing your body dynamics, it's changing your neurons, it's changing the energy which is changing your mindset. So it's not always about shall we sit and go to the subconscious mindset. We can do that and absolutely get to the core of the limiting belief that you're having. But first we've got to just shake things up and shift in minute ways.

Speaker 2: 28:39

So very much like somebody will have a goal of I want to make a million dollars and I will say, okay, well, that's really great, but do you know what to do with it? Like, do you know how to manage that money? If you got that today, where is it going? So it's sort of like having the bigger picture and then back, walking all the way back and then starting from here and going okay, to prepare for that million dollars, I need to start today and really look at all my expenses. I need to really look at how would I delegate that money and who am I going to employ to support me, because I need more than an accountant. So it's because the universe can only help you as much as you're willing to help yourself. And so the mindset I mean it sounds crazy, it sounds difficult, but it's super easy.

Speaker 2: 29:35

And I always tell people the moment again you're in a muck, you're about to get divorced, you feel hell is, you know, going to going? Life is going to hell in a handbasket. And you step back for a moment and breathe and go, get real honest with yourself and say I've really stayed in something that hasn't been serving me for a long time now. And then my next question would be why? And then the next it's usually because you're supporting other people, you're worried about what people are thinking, it's the kids. And then it goes well, that's great. But what about you? Right, everyone? You need to fill your cup up first before you can take care of a significant other, your children, your bills, before anything. You have to be good and you've got to be in alignment. Literally, a Pilates class can change someone's mindset. It doesn't have to be complicated, but it will be as complicated as you want to make it.

Speaker 1: 30:33

And we're very good at making things complex.

Speaker 2: 30:36

Oh heck yeah, I mean, we're professionals, absolutely, like you know. A great example was yesterday. Yeah, yesterday, I had this huge launch that I did last week for this big Pilates program that's coming up and I literally was working 24 seven to do it. And then yesterday I was like I recognize the energy that I was holding on so tightly right, Like I wanted to see the, the metrics of the email who's opening, who's not, who's clicking who. I was actually stagnating the situation because I was holding on so tight to this. So I literally was like that's it, I'm leaving the house, I'm going to do something different. I actually left the town. I went for a little joy ride that was shifting the energy, shifting my mindset and allowing the energy to flow so the universe could do its job, versus me trying to sit here trying to tell the universe how to do its job.

Speaker 1: 31:31

Yeah, absolutely. Those are such great ways because sometimes when you feel like nothing is going right and it's hard, it even annoys you. Sometimes, when you're just like, oh, just change your mindset or just change the way are you talking about? Like, do you not see that I'm suffering right now? Right, it annoys and frustrates people. So I am just trying to get at how else can we help that. That makes it seem a little bit simpler, seem a little bit more accessible. You know, because it's easy to just say, yeah, change your mindset, reframe your thoughts and things like that. But even for people who know and who generally meditate and do all these things, sometimes, sometimes the problem just seems too big. You know what I mean. So I love that. You you mentioned that like, yeah, maybe you need to dance for a little bit, you know, maybe you need to go for a joyride, go for a walk or do pilates, exercise something that kind of changes the chemical messaging in your brain a little bit. That can give space for something else, make a way for something else.

Speaker 2: 32:48

So I love that yeah, and release the fear and the anxiety and the I don't't know, release that.

Speaker 1: 32:56

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 32:57

And allow right Again. It's another easy form to tune out, to tune in to what it is, that you're not seeing, what it is, that you're not feeling what blocks you have, and for some, yeah, they are going to be big blocks, but you choose when you're ready, you know. Just even admitting to yourself the little things that, wow, like that was me, I could change that. That's huge. Give yourself credit. You might not change it today, but just the fact that you're recognizing your part in something you know, and that's what I would say. It's the little wins and celebrating those. Don't wait till we get the million dollars. It's not about the million dollars. It's about the millions of people that you are connecting with along the way. It's about how you're showing up in this world to serve. What are you giving back? How are you helping? And I always find that, and being you know that and being in gratitude of how you can help.

Speaker 1: 33:56

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 33:58

That brings everything, everything together for you.

Speaker 1: 34:00

That is true, that is true. So, you know, coming from that, how can we turn because we're talking about pain and suffering and change in mindset and all these things how can we turn our pain into empowerment? Because I know, definitely, your suggestion is one really vital step to beginning to kind of going from oh I'm suffering, this hurts, I have no idea what to do, I don't have the answers, I'm angry, I'm frustrated, I'm sad, angry and frustrated, I'm sad, um, anything that we have not yet mentioned. I think you mentioned one important part of that, and that is recognizing our part in it, um, you know, acknowledging and realizing that in everything a lot of the things, most of the things, right, because of course there are also things that are outside of our control Most of the things that happens directly to us, we have some level of responsibility in that and I think that is a huge one.

Speaker 2: 35:14

It is really huge right.

Speaker 2: 35:15

And it goes back to you know the old saying of what you put out, you get back. So everything that you're doing is, you know, is intuitive to what you have put out there in the universe. And so I always say nine times out of 10, everything will come back to a sense of I feel out of control. Nine times out of 10, everything will come back to a sense of I feel out of control. I don't feel control in this situation. I'm scared, I'm now anxious, I'm now panicking because my ego has taken over and the ego's like I don't feel safe. So I'm going to dramatize all of this into the worst case scenario. And nine times out of 10, that worst case scenario, you've seen it, you've probably already been through it. And so when we can sit back and take that breath and go well, I got through it before, so why wouldn't you get through it again? And then it comes back to if the universe, god, whomever you believe in, got you through it before, either A we didn't learn the lesson, so we've got to review. Or B this is definitely something new we're going to be learning. It's got to be playing out in a different way. There's something else for us to know here. You know when we can begin to shift again, just little shifts of the mindset. This isn't happening.

Speaker 2: 36:35

The hurricane didn't happen to me. It happened for me. Guess what? I was living in a place I didn't want to live in. I was miserable, I was sad, I was depressed. Literally, the universe picked me up and moved me. I might not have liked where I was, but I'll tell you a secret it was on my manifesting board for two years, a place that I didn't know that I would have ever visited. Now did I ask to be in a FEMA hotel here? Nope, but I could have been in a lot worse places.

Speaker 2: 37:01

So it's when you can take that step back and that's when journaling actually can really come into place. You know, and you're writing things down so you can go back and review them. You know, and you're writing things down so you can go back and review them, coming into having a sense of control. And what can you control in the moment? And I say that not from a sense of ego and that you're trying to like hold on for dear life, but again, you can control if you choose to go for a walk, if you choose to do movement, be that Pilates, yoga, whatever that is.

Speaker 2: 37:37

You can choose how you're going to respond in this moment in time. You get to choose if you are going to sit in this fear, anxiety, depression and anger, or are you going to shift that? And I always tell people, cause people are like you're so happy all the time and I'm like no, you know, do I have a Pollyanna in me? I'll age myself Abso-freaking-lutely. I have a Pollyanna in me. Does that mean that I don't ever get upset or pissed off? No, but it does mean that I allow it. So if I am pissed off or whatever angry, I'm going to allow myself to have that moment.

Speaker 2: 38:16

But the key word is I'm talking about a moment, I'm not talking about a day, I'm not talking about a week. I'm going to give myself a moment to get it out of my system and then flip it, and there's a really great, great way that you can work on this. So the Navy SEALs this will really get you. The Navy SEALs allow 90 seconds to get angry, pissed off, frustrated, depressed, whatever you want. You get 90 seconds. Go for it. You better go hard, like, go hard into it, and then you're going to get up, move yourself from the environment you are going to change. Go outside, have a drink, wash your hands underwater, something, and then I want you to sit and go. How is this happening for me? What am I supposed to get out of this Universe? Show me Then the flip side. You're happy, you're excited, you've gotten a promotion, you're getting whatever it is Navy SEALs 90 seconds, 90 seconds of absolute joy, happiness, ride the wave, then come back to reality and move on, because, guess what? You just crossed off a super huge fear moment that you didn't know you were going to get past. You know this goal that you've wanted for forever. There's something else on the next side, so you got to keep going. When you can begin to work with your body and your mind and your breath and to train yourself on that level, that inner level, then you really have control, because that's ultimately what we're, what set us off to begin with, circling back around lack of control. How do we get control? We learn to work with our body. How do we do that? It's goes to our emotions, which are connected to our mindset, and so when we can train ourself, then we can be less reactive and more proactive along the way when these large things happen in our life, or even small things.

Speaker 2: 40:23

Sitting in traffic, you know, you can either get frustrated or, like I always see somebody like flying by me or you know, and I'm like I hope you get where you're going safely. God bless you Right. Because guess what God I always say God bless you, hope you're going safely. God bless you Right, cause guess what God I always say God bless you, hope you're hoping to do it. You get where you need to go Because, guess what? You just put out a blessing. That blessing is going to come back to you and those energies are on you.

Speaker 2: 40:52

It's all about how you are looking at the world, and you can look at it very darkly and I mean we're in some situations right now, or something I always like to say in my friends like they, I drive them crazy. I'm like I am very aware of what's going on in our world, going on in the world. I want to know what's going on. At the same time, I will say but that's not my reality. You get to choose what reality you're going to be in, and that takes, of course, that's a whole nother, probably a whole nother podcast. But you get to choose your reality each and every day and each and every moment, you have the opportunity to change the trajectory of your life. Literally every second you are in control. There are just moments where you feel out of control, and these little tips and tricks that we talk about and that she talks about all the time in the podcast are what help bring you back, so that you feel in control of at least yourself, because that's all you have, is you?

Speaker 1: 41:48

yes, that deserves a snap. I love it oh my god, I love that. I love that navy seal training practice. That is so good. Like, if you're gonna get angry, just be the angriest that you can be, let it all out. You got 90 seconds. Get angry, just be the angriest that you can be, let it all out. You got 90 seconds.

Speaker 2: 42:14

Go for it, yeah. And then, after the 90 seconds, get real with yourself and go what am I really angry at? Yeah, what am I really upset about? And then you'd be like oh man, all right, yeah, it's, it's. It's a really great opportunity to continue to get to know yourself, align with yourself and grow and train your mind. Yes, and train your mind and train your emotions.

Speaker 1: 42:37

You've got you've got to train your emotions, or your emotions will run you, yes, yes, Getting control of yourself, of your emotions, of your thinking, telling the person well, you're allowed to feel that way, right, You're allowed to feel all the range of emotions, but you have a choice.

Speaker 2: 43:05

You know how however long you stay there becomes your choice Exactly, and it's important to not only feel your emotions, but to move through your emotions. We don't want to stifle them down, because they will come out as disease within your body, your mind and your soul. So we want you to feel everything. We want you to move through it too and allow it to move through you and move on.

Speaker 1: 43:28

Absolutely, absolutely. And you mentioned something that's key and I know we can't talk about it wholeheartedly in this show today, but you spoke about, you know, having a choice. As I just mentioned, in life we often feel out of control and because we feel out of control, we feel like we have no choice in it. Right, and you know, especially when you're dealing with things whereby maybe you feel like or it's perceived that maybe this thing is completely outside of you and it's happening to you, but even in that scenario, you know whether it be a car accident or a natural disaster or maybe a death in the family. Those are things that you kind of just like yeah, I had no control over this person dying. I had.

Speaker 1: 44:28

I have no control over a natural disaster, but there are other parts of that situation where we have control in how we choose to respond to the situation, how we choose to show up among our family or friends, the next steps that we choose to do to address the situation, steps that we choose to do to address the situation, and that in every scenario, as bad as it seems and as out of your control as it seems, there are always opportunities for you to make choices that can be more helpful for you.

Speaker 1: 45:15

So I wanted you to talk about that a little bit, to kind of clear that up, because I know that is something that a lot of us we suffer from, myself too. I mean there are so many things that has happened in my life where it's just like I had no choice or I had no control over these things. These are people that did things that did bad things and it hurt me. But where, in those situations, can we begin to see, or can we train our minds to see, that we do have some aspect of control in that?

Speaker 2: 45:57

Well, a lot of different situations that you mentioned, and I think the one thing that I want to be really clear of is we're not making light of any situation of any natural disaster of anything that's going on in your life, of anything that has happened. We're just gonna say to you right now yeah, absolutely not, because that's probably how it feels we're in your life of anything that has happened.

Speaker 1: 46:13

We're just going to say to you right now yeah, absolutely Probably how it feels we're not making light of anything.

Speaker 2: 46:16

We do want to help you see that there is a way through. Yeah, it probably isn't going to take you 90 seconds today, let's be real. And even if you did, it doesn't mean that something isn't going to come back to you from that situation and when it does, it's okay to go wow, I didn't see that then, but I see it now, so I'm going to work on it now. You know, every situation there's going to be when we can take a step back from it not necessarily in the situation, whether it's a day later, an hour later, a week later, a month, years, whatever it is If we can say to ourselves what was the lesson, what did I learn? What is the blessing? Because we literally out of everything I know this sounds crazy out of everything there is a lesson and there is a blessing.

Speaker 2: 47:20

And when we can get there, we still may not like it, but when we get there, that's growth and that's really tuning in and being honest and again bringing it back to you and how you are in the situation and how you're adapting to it, which again comes back to the control of it, and that's really hard to work through to work on. Things don't happen overnight, I mean for me. That's why I love to work on a subconscious level. When you work on a subconscious level, you go and you get to the root. You pull out whatever that angst is, whatever that which is always an emotional belief that's been placed there. We remove it and we replace it with what should be there.

Speaker 2: 48:07

So the subconscious work is amazing because, you can go in and come out, and that's amazing. Now, not everybody is comfortable with subconscious work, and so that's okay. You can still go through things on different levels, one peel back of an onion at a time. You don't have to devour the whole thing, right, like, take what you can where you're at now and then move on. And if you and a great example is a few weeks ago, um, I read a book, um about coming from a toxic family, and it's from um, one of the doctors that I work with, actually, and I was guided to read a certain section of the book first and I thought, well, this is really weird. It was like the end. But I was like okay, so I read it all and I literally had to put it, pieces of it down, because I needed to walk away and absorb, because that was a lot and it was very personal to me in my life and I didn't see all of that coming right Like this became therapy in and of itself, so I could only absorb so much, then walk away and then I really, as human beings, we like to turn things into knowledge, to try to understand it. Right, that's a trauma response. Yeah, that is a trauma. So here in the therapy of the book, I'm like even re going through trauma. Now, when I went through that piece, it actually became about what was about to happen in my life. It set me up with the tools to be able to protect myself from what was about to happen. Then, when I went back to reread the other portions of the book, I was like, okay, like that just makes sense to me. I've been, but that one piece was really important.

Speaker 2: 49:59

So when we listen to the nudges and when we can listen to how we're feeling in that moment, and if you're in a moment and you're in a place that you don't feel comfortable or you're not comfortable around people, remove yourself. Yeah, whether that's literally getting up and leaving and going home, or whether that's at least getting up and going to wash your hands in the bathroom to determine is this my energy or am I really picking up Like I don't want to be here? And then making a conscious decision and knowing that that's okay, you never have to stay in a place that does not feel right, that you don't feel comfortable in and, more importantly, you don't owe an explanation. Yeah, that's another trauma response, right, like we want to tell everybody the 12 reasons why we can't do something that comes back from trauma. There's so much that we've all been through, right In our lives, trauma left, right and center, from the time we were children, that we don't realize until when we're older and usually halfway through our lives. Wow, this is actually a trauma response. I had no idea sitting here and flipping through my phone at night is actually being in a fight or flight and I didn't recognize that.

Speaker 2: 51:20

It's just getting to know you, it's getting in tune with you, being kind to you. We haven't been taught self-love, self-value and self-worth, and that is crucial to taking care of you, to knowing what feels good for you. When we practice all of that, it's not so much about control anymore, it's just about being with ourselves and being okay with where we're at in that moment, and it's not so much of holding on for dear life, which goes back to whatever trauma we've experienced, whether it was a car accident, whether it was abuse, whether you know. The list goes on and on. We've all been there and what's important is that we've all gotten to the other side. Now everybody's gotten to that other side in numerous different ways. Your way is perfect for you, my way was perfect for me. So it's what feels good for you, you, what feels right for you in this moment in time, and that is what is most important yes, you're so right on that.

Speaker 1: 52:47

I love that you mentioned self-love and compassion. That is something that we often struggle with having compassion for ourselves, having compassion for where we're at. You know, we feel like a lot of the times when we're in a bad space, whether physically or just in our minds, we kind of make it harder for ourselves. You know, you kind of get down on yourself and the thoughts that you have about yourself and the things that you say and think about yourself.

Speaker 2: 53:24

It's just it always goes back to what did I do? Yeah, because you've been programmed since you were a child. People would look at you and go well, what did you do? Yeah, because you've been programmed since you were a child. People would look at you and go well, what did you do? Yeah, when you can really see, at that point in time there were other people around you in trauma who then were only reacting to what they knew, which unfortunately brought trauma onto you and now your brain. So you may be we should ring a bell for this you may be the rule breaker. You may be the generational trauma breaker yeah, and a lot of people are going through that right now.

Speaker 2: 54:02

This is a very popular, unpopular thing that's going on right now. Call yourself the black sheep, call yourself the goat, call yourself whatever you want. Yourself the black sheep, call yourself the goat. Call yourself whatever you want. There's a lot of us out there right now who are like the buck stops here, absolutely, and that in and of itself, just saying that is very empowering. Acting on it is a whole nother sense of empowering empowering.

Speaker 1: 54:38

Yes, yes, jennifer, you're. So you're just hitting all the points today. This is such a good conversation. I love it. Is there anything else that you'd like to share? And you know, just tell us about your work, about how we can access your services or what you do. I know you do Pilates and you know, I know you work to empower people, so tell us about that and how people can reach out to you.

Speaker 2: 55:07

Thank you. Well, first, thank you for being here. I'm so honored to be a part of such an amazing community and this has been such a great conversation. You Well, first, thank you for being here. I'm so honored to be a part of such an amazing community and this has been such a great conversation, and one that is delicate and yet so transformational, empowering at the same time, and I really hope that whatever part resonates with the people that are listening with you, that that's what you just take away. You take away what resonates with you and that's what matters most. And if you'd like to continue a conversation or work with me, you can head over to jenniferpalatescom. All the goodies are there and there will be a special link.

Speaker 2: 55:44

I have a beautiful program that I mentioned that I launched last week. I launched it a few times a year and it's really about bringing a community of people together that are looking to feel empowered, that are looking and tired of the gimmicks, the fad diets, the this, the that it's. Oh, I'm tired of starting over. I feel like I don't have enough time. I don't know what to do. I can't lose these five pounds, and that's what we do.

Speaker 2: 56:11

We spend eight weeks together, we work out together three, four times a week online and we are supportive and it's accountability and people are coming and they're losing inches and gaining strength. They're losing weight and gaining a sense of self and confidence and empowerment, and so it's an incredible program and for anyone listening today, we'll have a special link and you'll receive 20% off if you sign up before Valentine's day, because this is all about self-love. You want to make sure that you're doing something for yourself, so you can jump over there and you can join that. There's coaching, there's the podcast, there's my book, and if you just want to say hi or if you have a question about anything that we chatted about today, I would love to have that conversation with you, and that's jenniferpilatescom.

Speaker 1: 57:01

I hope you guys enjoyed this conversation as much as I did and, as Jennifer said, take whatever resonates with you and just be gentle with yourself. And, on another note, I am loving the feedback I've been getting so far, so definitely keep them coming. We love, love, love, love and value your input so much. And for those of you who would love more content, join our Patreon community where it gets real deep, deep.