Kevjet - The Podcast with special guest, Antonio Hysén: Trailblazing Authenticity in the World of Professional Football

When Antonio Hysén decided to share his truth with the world, he wasn't just changing his own life – he was altering the landscape of sports forever. As the second professional footballer to come out as gay, Antonio's revelation sent ripples through the LGBTQ+ community and beyond. Our conversation with him isn't just a peek behind the curtain of his personal journey; it's a front-row seat to the shifting tides in the world of sports and identity. Antonio opens up about the reactions from his family, the whirlwind of global attention, and his multicultural upbringing—offering insight into the nuances of being oneself in the public eye.

Through Antonio's reflections, we uncover the profound influence that athletes have in championing LGBTQ+ acceptance. His unexpected path to coming out led to a magazine feature that respectfully shared his narrative, highlighting the balance between personal privacy and public responsibility. The support Antonio found within the football community highlights not just the power of acceptance, but also the essential need for visibility and paving the way for future generations. This episode isn't just about triumphs; it's an intimate look at the pressures of carrying a renowned family name and the delicate act of navigating one's identity in the scrutinizing world of professional sports.

As we round off our time with Antonio, we touch on the importance of diversity and the evolving definitions of pride and manhood. With earnestness and authenticity, he discusses the paradoxes of body image within the gay community, the quest for meaningful connections, and his dazzling leap into the entertainment industry—revealing the personal growth that arises from life's unexpected challenges. Whether he's reflecting on educational work around LGBTQ issues in sports or answering our quick-fire questions with his characteristic wit, Antonio's story is a testament to courage, change, and the celebration of one's true self. Join us for this heartfelt exploration where laughter, language, and the values that shape friendships all intertwine in an unforgettable narrative.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to another exciting episode of KevJet the podcast. I'm excited to introduce to you this week's guest footballer, antonio Heysen. In 2011, antonio made history by coming out as gay.

Speaker 2: 0:19

This could actually help. So, so, so many people. If you decide to share a story with us, and if you do not want to do that, we will just scrap this letter and go on like nothing has happened. My first thought was that, listen, if this can actually help people, then I'm more than happy to do it, because this is not about me. I feel safe in myself and I know who I am. I'm proud of what I do and really care what people think. But not everyone is like that. I thought that, hey, it might be a big thing for a week here in my city, but after the whole world knew within a week.

Speaker 1: 0:53

His courage and openness have helped pave the way for greater acceptance and inclusivity in the world of football.

Speaker 2: 1:00

Be yourself. It might sound like a cliche, but as long as you love yourself and have enough power in yourself, you don't care about what people think.

Speaker 1: 1:08

We delve into his personal journey, the challenges he's faced and the impact of his decision on the football community.

Speaker 2: 1:16

I never knew gay people could play football Still today. Even when I do podcasts like we do now, or talk about my name or what I do, I'm so like I'm humble about it because it doesn't feel. It feels so weird Like why are we talking about this being a brave thing to do? Like I'm just gay, lgbtq and me as a gay man, like we're not everywhere in football? I mean, just say it's the second person that came out in the football world. When it is like that it's going to be talked about, we were 100 games and playing football. It wouldn't be that big of a deal.

Speaker 1: 1:53

We discussed the progress that has been made in creating a more inclusive environment.

Speaker 2: 1:54

Everyone everywhere, you know, even if you're in a place where you feel like you have no one, there's so many other people on this planet that will be with you and you know it can be tough, I know how it is, but yeah, that was always my way of thinking that there are more of us out there, so you're never going to be alone. As a football player and gay, I don't really have that many people to talk about sports and stuff when I meet other gay men they're like ew sports, or oh you do that.

Speaker 2: 2:28

Of course I hit him with the KevJet quick-fire questions. We'll see how that goes. My God, these questions are so tough. I love this question.

Speaker 1: 2:38

These are so tough man. Sit back, relax and enjoy my conversation with the very handsome Antonio Heysen. Welcome to KevJet, the podcast Antonio Heysen.

Speaker 2: 2:50

Thank you very much. Glad to be here.

Speaker 1: 2:52

You're joining us from Sweden today.

Speaker 2: 2:54

Correct correct Sweden Gothenburg.

Speaker 1: 2:57

Were you raised in Liverpool or were you only there for a few years?

Speaker 2: 3:01

I mean, it's kind of it's an interesting story because we moved back about a couple of years after I was born to Sweden, but then I've been there back and forth like every year since we grew up. So it's like kind of a double thing. So I'm British and Swedish, basically, but I speak with an American accent, which is kind of weird for people, but it's the best way to for people to understand, because the Scouse accent can be very tough.

Speaker 1: 3:22

Yeah, it threw me for a loop when you joined the call. Yeah. I wasn't expecting that. Do you spend more time in Sweden or more time in the UK?

Speaker 2: 3:31

Nowadays it's more here, obviously because I have, you know, work here. Now I play football here. A lot of stuff is happening here, but I do travel a lot. So when I tend to have the time, I will back to the UK. Do you prefer being in Sweden? It's very I don't know like the weather is absolutely terrible. The culture is kind of boring, people are not very social, it's very cold, but it's a great country to live in. The system is good.

Speaker 1: 4:00

You were born in Liverpool while your father was playing for Liverpool FC.

Speaker 2: 4:06

Correct, yes.

Speaker 1: 4:07

So you have a very football family.

Speaker 2: 4:10

Yeah, I mean both of my sisters and both of my brothers everybody you know have been playing football, so it's been a big thing in the family.

Speaker 1: 4:17

In 2011,. You came out. You were the second pro footballer to come out at that time it was, it was very crazy, you know, like that time incredible what brought you to the point where you thought you know what I'm I'm going to. I'm going to just come out and tell everybody it's.

Speaker 2: 4:36

It's very interesting for personally. For me, I never made it into such a big deal because I thought that no one would actually care about who I date and who I sleep with. So I thought that, hey, it might be a big thing for a week here in my city because some of my friends already know and a few people in my family already know, so I didn't think it was that big of a deal. But after the whole world knew within a week. So yeah, I wasn't expecting that.

Speaker 1: 5:03

How did you deal with that?

Speaker 2: 5:06

I don't know, I just went to work where I worked and I played, and then I became more and more professional and you know it's, it was just like interest, because everything happened at the same time. So I didn't really know or think you don't have the time. You know everything's happening at the same time.

Speaker 1: 5:23

Did you have a discussion with your family and friends before that, or was that still a secret within your circle?

Speaker 2: 5:30

Before I came out in 2011,. Pretty much the closest friends and the family knew my mother was skeptical because she said that you know you're exposing yourself. Just be careful. I know you can handle yourself, but you're now telling people about yourself a little bit more and that's still like it's vulnerability, like people are going to know who you are for real now. And I said, well, I mean, maybe that's a good thing, because why should I hide? And if anybody has, you know, any type of trouble with that, then that's on them. Like I'm only there to play football. If you have a problem with my sexuality, that's on you. I don't give a shit. Like I'm just there to play.

Speaker 1: 6:06

How did the other guys on your team like did they know? Was that? Was it something that you were open about?

Speaker 2: 6:12

Yeah, some people knew before like it's never really been an issue for me. And some people on the team like we're even more in shock. They're like, wow, this is amazing, in shock. They're like, wow, this is amazing. I never knew that this sounds terrible. But like I never knew gay people could play football. For me that sounds absolutely stupid. But then it was like, oh, that's a good thing. I guess I don't know, I never really got any negative. You know opinions it's just through the internet basically. But yeah, that's interesting. Yeah, just through the internet basically.

Speaker 1: 6:44

But yeah, that's interesting. Yeah, so through the internet, but also through the internet, brought the amazing things, and it brought you and your story to people around the world that were scared to admit who they were or come out even.

Speaker 2: 6:59

Yeah, I mean, my first thought was that listen, if this can actually help people, then I'm more than happy to do it, because this is not about me. I feel safe in myself and I know who I am. I'm proud of what I do and really care what people think. But not everyone is like that and not everywhere on this planet. It is the same, as you know, here in Sweden. I'm pretty safe here, so I'm very happy and thankful and appreciate. You know where I am. So, just to you know, put some light over it and have people to know that it's normal, it's okay, we can all do whatever we want. Basically, if that was the case, then I would be more than happy to help, and that was the only thing I thought about were you afraid that it would.

Speaker 1: 7:44

It could stop your football career.

Speaker 2: 7:47

Not at all. I mean, like, if you have a problem with the sexuality, then again that is your issue. We're only there to play football and you know, I wasn't in the premier league or a top league making millions, but I was in elite leagues with players from all over the world. I played in the US and South Carolina, where it was a very religious state. I didn't even encounter trouble there. I mean, people were very nice and I guess the people who did have trouble they didn't really say anything Like you could feel that maybe someone didn't agree with it. But at the same time we're there to play football. We go simply to the field to play football and you know, not everyone's gonna love you, regardless where you are, who you are, what you believe in. So you know what? Screw it, just go and play. Basically, that was the only thing I was thinking about that's amazing, because that's that's so that that's 2011.

Speaker 1: 8:41

So when you think of where we are now, I I feel like there's there's people out there that are they're afraid to come out now.

Speaker 2: 8:51

And I totally get that, and I always said that no one's telling anybody to come out publicly. I'm just saying that be yourself. It might sound like a cliche, but as long as you love yourself and have enough power in yourself, you don't care about what people think. You just do what you want to do. Yeah, and, and you know, I hope that will inspire people. And it has a little bit too, because I've had loads of emails and letters and anonymous, like dms, where they say that you know, I can live a more healthier life now. Uh, before was suicidal. So it actually have helped people. And I know that I received a letter from a player in the NFL no, sorry, the NHL hockey, because it's pretty big here in Sweden and it was a guy who dated someone in our national team, but I've never discovered who it is and that was what 2011. So basically it has helped and it's a lot of us out there. So I'm glad I did what I did. You know it's, it's good why did?

Speaker 1: 9:50

why did you choose to come out in a magazine? Did you have options? Could it have been like a tv show? Could it have been a radio show? Could it have been like? How were you approached by the, the magazine?

Speaker 2: 10:03

it's very, very funny because it was my dad. He had a conversation with a big football magazine in Sweden and it kind of slipped out when he was talking. He's like you know, my son's gay and I'm like Dad, god damn it. So he's very clumsy in his interviews, I might say. But I mean, it wasn't, it wasn't a big deal, like people in my family already new and a lot of my friends knew. So they sent me a letter and they said Listen, we just heard from your dad about you playing football and you're out to your friends and stuff. This could actually help. So, so, so many people. If you decide to share a story with us and if you do not want to do that, we will just scrap this letter and go on like nothing has happened. So I was like wow, journalists not wanting to share a story. That's interesting.

Speaker 1: 10:50

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 10:51

So it was. It was just through this football magazine and that was what I talked to my dad and my mom and this whole conversation with just be careful, but if you want to do it, do it because it might help people. Conversation kind of came up and I said, listen, I've got nothing to lose. And if this is going to help people, then absolutely, because people already know about me and this might actually be good, because then you actually know who's on your side and who's your real you know who are your real friends and stuff.

Speaker 1: 11:18

So yeah, it was good, you know I read a headline that was written next to your name. That BBC called you a global one-off at the time.

Speaker 2: 11:26

That was crazy yeah.

Speaker 1: 11:30

How did that make you feel?

Speaker 2: 11:31

Still today, even when I do podcasts like we do now, or talk about my name or what I do, I'm so like I'm humble about it because it doesn't feel. It feels so weird, like why are we talking about this being a brave thing to do, like I'm just gay, what's the big deal? So, even today, hearing these things and these stories is crazy, but it's for you know, it's for a good thing.

Speaker 1: 11:57

Do you think if you had a different career, coming out would be less of an issue? Obviously, like, do you think it's obviously just because you were a footballer that it's been this big? But you were, and you were the only, you were the second footballer to actually come out?

Speaker 2: 12:12

Yeah, so I think, yeah, the second one I don't know if it's professionally or if anyone else has come out in like lower leagues, I'm not sure, but that was what I heard.

Speaker 2: 12:25

That's crazy, by the the way, that it's only like two people. But I think why it became a big deal is also because my last name is also big in football and my dad played for several big teams, so obviously maybe well, not maybe it did become a bigger story because of that as well. And then also it's football. You know, lgbtq me as a gay man, like we're not everywhere in football. I mean just say it's the second person that came out in the football world. When it is like that, it's going to be talked about. If we were a hundred game and playing football, it wouldn't be that big of a deal. That's also one of the reasons where you know, when you don't have that many gay football players or you, you know our community in the sport obviously it's going to be a big topic yeah, did you feel that, or do you still feel that you kind of have a big responsibility with that?

Speaker 2: 13:14

to be fair, I never really felt that like I had any type of responsibility. I just felt like I'm just going to live my life and do what I want. So not really if that makes any sense. But in another way I just felt like, well, yeah, I'm out there now and I'm going to do my best to show everyone that it's you know, we can play football, we can do whatever we want. It's perfectly normal.

Speaker 1: 13:37

When you came out, did your football family give you some like. What kind of support did you receive from them?

Speaker 2: 13:45

just basically the same way and same things that I say and how I act. It's like do whatever you got to do. I mean just play, and if somebody have you know any type of trouble with it, leave them to it. Like why waste your energy on that? Just, I mean, go to the football field and play. That's all you need to do and there's always, always going to be someone on your side. And that's what I say about everyone everywhere. You know, even if you're in a place where you feel like you have no one, there's so many other people on this planet that will be with you and you know it can be tough, I know how it is, but yeah, that was always my way of thinking that there are more of us out there, so you never going to be alone.

Speaker 1: 14:25

Might be easy said, but yeah what's the main difference between uk and sweden?

Speaker 2: 14:32

living as a gay footballer sweden is very in general a liberal country. I feel like it's it's I wouldn't say easy, because they're easy to be gay, but as a gay man in Sweden I feel protected, it feels safe here. So for no one else to have come out in our football league for me is kind of odd because I don't feel like it would be unsafe. I don't know. The big difference is it's more people in England, it's a more cultural place, obviously because there's more people from other places on the planet, the whole world, the eyes on the football leagues is a bigger football. You know the tree, it's tradition there, it's like religion. Football is huge in england.

Speaker 1: 15:13

So I I'd say that's the biggest difference, that, yeah, there are a lot more, there's a lot more attention going on in the football leagues there I interviewed the king's cross uh rugby team and they're the first gay rugby team in the world and they had some crazy stories for some of the stuff that they have for, like messages that come through on the Internet and the abuse they have to listen to. But but they're doing it and like hats off to them.

Speaker 2: 15:40

The thing is, I think it's amazing that, and the thing is, I think it's amazing that they do that like that. We have these football clubs, rugby clubs and everything, because it's a form of education, because you know, the more you show people, the more you, you know, play out there. People are going to see, oh, they exist, they play, they can like some people have really low IQ and you have to, like, show them, listen, there's not that much of a difference. We play football as well.

Speaker 2: 16:07

It's exactly you have to talk to them, sometimes like that.

Speaker 1: 16:15

One of the cool things that happened after you came out was you were getting entertained or you are getting entertainment jobs. So tell me about that. How did how strange was that for you to like start to get into?

Speaker 2: 16:24

It's very strange it still is. I never really get used to it. Yeah, it was fun. I mean, I did a lot of fun stuff. We did Strictly Come Dancing, we did a lot of different shows and you know, it's just always so awkward to be on television. I mean, I do speak a lot socially, I'm out there and I'm not afraid of the attention, but like behind a camera, on a stage, in front of people, that is different, yeah. So, yeah, it's fun. You know, I've experienced a lot of stuff. I met a lot of people, met a lot of celebrities and kind of dip my toes into a world where I never thought I would be. So it's, it's been fun, you know.

Speaker 1: 17:03

Yeah, you won the seventh season of let's Dance. Yes, sir, I did. And what was that like?

Speaker 2: 17:10

that was. Uh, yeah, I wanted to vomit every time I was on the show because it was very and it's a live show and I don't dance, so so it was. You know, it was a learning experience, it was fun, I did it, we had fun, we won it. The result was great because we did practice nine hours every day, but it's intense and it's scary wow, everyone I speak to who's done a one of those dance competitions.

Speaker 1: 17:36

They all say it was the craziest thing they've ever done and the scariest thing. But they, but they would do it again, would you do?

Speaker 2: 17:42

it again. Yeah, I've done it two times, so I'm not sure I want to do it a third time what's been your favorite job outside of football?

Speaker 2: 17:52

oh wow, I, like you know I like to do a lot of these like sports, educational jobs where it's. It's where we talk about how it is being gay. In football, for an example, you go to like football schools or schools in general workspaces, and for me to just be like, hey, we're all in this together and you know it shouldn't matter, we're here for one reason do the work, play football, go to school, whatever, we're all the same, basically. So more like educational LGBTQ stuff, but mostly my type of journey and my story of being a gay man in football, that's that's. Those type of jobs are a lot of fun. And now I work in the oil business uh, down in the oil terminal. So now I I'm, I'm a harbor worker so there you go.

Speaker 1: 18:42

There's another niche. Yeah, what would be the title of the story?

Speaker 2: 18:49

oh, wow on the spot. I don't know. I have no idea what to say to that could be let's dance, because that's pretty much what I've been doing my whole life dancing up and down. I've been everywhere around the world doing different shows and playing football and yeah, I'd say let's dance title.

Speaker 1: 19:12

It's a good title. What does being a man mean to you?

Speaker 2: 19:16

my god, these questions are so tough, like I would like to see the other people's answers on this, but I don't know. Like, for me, a man is just, uh, you know, be proud of who you are. I always like kind of do a mirror thing on it with the whole gay thing. Uh, just be proud of who you are, live the life you want and never care and just be, you know, thoughtful of everybody around you and, yeah, appreciate life.

Speaker 1: 19:42

Basically that's what being a man is like to me yeah, it's very similar to some of the answers I received yeah, I don't know what everybody else would say Go fishing.

Speaker 2: 20:03

Yeah, what does pride mean to you? Pride is very it's a wide thing for me, like it can mean so many things, but I always refer to where I come from in football. For me, coming into a world like that, I've always thought you know what. This is all you, this is all being yourself, showing everybody that you can do exactly the same thing as the people who doubt you and have you know prejudice and the stuff they say about you. So pride for me has always been you know, pride as you hear it to be proud, to shine through, basically to rise above.

Speaker 1: 20:33

How important is going to pride for you? Is that something? Do you go to pride?

Speaker 2: 20:39

I've done pride. In the beginning it was so funny. Like the first thing I said about pride, I said that it was not my type of thing, so we've kind of gone negative about that. But then I actually went to a couple of the pride events and stuff and I thought it was fun, it's great. I mean it's a it's it's not only for you know people in that community. I feel it's great. I mean it's a it's it's not only for you know people in that community. I feel like it's for everyone. It's a huge party for everyone to just, you know, just have fun together and it's great. Nowadays, when I'm getting older, I tend to just sit on the couch, but uh, yeah, you know, I think it's.

Speaker 2: 21:11

It's a good place for everyone to be, it's a fun party and it brings everybody together yeah, I noticed, uh, I noticed a lot more families at pride now yeah, exactly, and the thing is also that's one of the things when it comes to like the whole educational thing is that you just need people to come to to parties like this or, as I said, like when I play football, to just show them that it's not a big deal. We're all here together, we're the same, it's all love, basically, and there's more families, there's more kids and everybody's just, you know, having a great time.

Speaker 1: 21:46

Yeah, do you feel frustrated with sportsmen who are staying in the closet?

Speaker 2: 21:52

I wouldn't say frustrated. I mean you live your life, you do exactly what you want to do and I completely understand that it's a tough, you know, environment. I mean, I've played in it, so I know there's a lot of things that people say and there's a lot of you know stuff that's going on. But at the same time I also feel like this is gonna sound harsh. But you can't stay afraid your whole life either. You know, sometimes you have to take that extra step and see what happens and you know it's up to yourself a little bit as well. Not everyone's going to love you and fans are going to sing about you, people are going to say stuff about you and and you know, yes, you will have maybe a little bit more risk because you're gay or or anything else.

Speaker 2: 22:34

But I just feel like I couldn't be afraid forever and you know like I'm going to be out, I'm going to be proud, basically. But in that football world it is macho, it is tough and in different countries it's a bit more harsh than others because it's different cultures. I feel personally that it's opening up in certain places since I came out, obviously, and it's talked about a lot more. It's being discussed, laws are being more open in certain places. So I mean, something is slowly happening. So I wouldn't say that I'm frustrated with people, and some people don't want to be in the public eye. You have to respect that and I totally get that. But at the same time, as I said, sometimes you need to step up as well as a person, and you know, not be afraid it's okay to be a little bit afraid, but you know you got to be like yeah.

Speaker 2: 23:23

So what? Call me whatever you want, say whatever you want. I'm here to play football, that's the deal. I don't give a shit. Call me whatever you want, I'm here to win. I mean, it's easier said than done for me. I still do that everywhere I go, so it works, because people see that they can't anything. They say won't, like really matter. Yeah, I just wish that everyone had that. And I know easier said than done and everyone's in a different position. But how will you ever know if we're always going to be afraid of not doing it?

Speaker 1: 23:51

It's true, and it is scary. Whether you're you're some, and from a famous football family, whether you're someone who works at the local shop, it's scary coming out uh, exactly like period. We're all risking something, basically, so yeah, yeah, were you treated any differently in the locker room? How like did that change?

Speaker 2: 24:10

no, it didn't really change that much, it was the same thing. I think I had like one guy that said it was kind of funny. He turned out to be good later. But he was afraid of showering with me couple of first sessions and I was like, listen, if I didn't do anything to you earlier, do you think I would do something now? It's not that big of a difference. And then I also said who said you were even good looking Like, did God just suddenly made? Did he make you into a fucking model or something like that was. I got really mad. Uh, yeah, like, but in a fun way. And I said, listen, I'm gonna shower for 20 more minutes and then you can just stand outside and be happy about life. But you know, he turned out good. He was like like I'm so sorry, it was prejudice, I'm really really sorry. I know what you're here for and you know I see what you're up against and stuff. So he was, he turned out to be good Education.

Speaker 1: 25:03

That's all people need. How do you think we can continue to promote acceptance and equality for the community?

Speaker 2: 25:11

I think that one of the most important things is what we're already doing in schools all form of commercial and so, like I go to schools and talk, sometimes I go to football clubs and I see a lot of that stuff actually helping higher up in the you know committees and in the boards and all these pride days. The more you educate people, the more they understand that you know we're are here for the same reason, basically. So that's a forum where I really think it's going to help throughout the schools and stuff. And, yes, you will face backlash. People are still going to push it back and be like don't push it down our throats. Blah, blah, blah the same old stuff. But it's simply education for them in the future to understand that you know their children they're going to take in the information better, so it's the right way to do it.

Speaker 1: 26:00

If you could give advice to your 12-year-old self, what would it be?

Speaker 2: 26:04

The cliche that I always say. It's you know, be proud. Everyone's unique. You're all going to go out there and people are going to say stuff about you and treat you badly, or just be yourself and follow your own path. You don't have to do anything. Don't have to follow a path that everyone else is, you know, going at. Do what you want to do, and at the end of the day it's going to come around good because, you know, just got to do what you want to do. That's how I did it.

Speaker 1: 26:34

And you'll be happy. Yeah, exactly. Anyone who looks at your social media obviously sees that you have very high body confidence. Have you always had confidence in your body?

Speaker 2: 26:45

Oh yeah, it goes up and down. I feel like I have a different kind of confidence. It's kind of funny. A couple of years ago I was super, super fit, like abs and everything, and now I have this more kind of meaty body, more meat, and I'm like, oh wow, the professional days are over. But I kind of love it because now I feel like, oh, that's a sexy dad, but I've heard that that is actually more popular than they're really that that is actually more popular than they're really.

Speaker 2: 27:15

I think that's what's in right now. Yeah, yeah, so it's like I'm up and down with it. I don't really care it's just just try to be healthy, eat as healthy as you can, train when you can go to the gym or do whatever you feel like when you can, and be happy with what you got. I mean, some people are not even healthy and diseases and stuff. So I just just be happy with what you got, basically, and do the best you can.

Speaker 1: 27:38

I think that's one of the most difficult parts. When you come out and you enter the whole gay world, it's, it's. You have to have the perfect body. You have to. Everyone has to look like each other, everyone. Everything's so wonderful and perfect and I think a lot of people struggle with that.

Speaker 2: 27:54

Oh, I'm so bored of it. Like I just I'm going to look the way I look and I'm going to have the friends that I have, and you know, it's not a big deal for me. Like, look, however, the way you want. Obviously you do want someone, or I want myself to. You know, be healthy and try to take care of the best way I can about my body. But for it to be such a big topic and thing in the community or I don't know if it's just maybe the gay community it's it's just tiring. You know our community, we have our perks and we have our pros and cons. Basically, the body thing yeah, I've heard that that's a. I know that that's a big deal and all these parties where everyone's dancing together with the bodies and stuff for me I couldn't care less. Like, just try to take care of the best way you can, and it's not that big of a deal, it just goes back to just be yourself.

Speaker 2: 28:54

Yeah, basically, and I feel like a lot of people you know in our community, that's always been kind of one of the things that maybe ruins it a bit, like everybody's trying to find themselves or their identity, that at the end of the day it's just like I gotta have this body, I've gotta have this mentality, and then it kind of just spirals away into something bad. Uh, we need to take care of each other a lot more 100 agree I would say I, I, yeah, I could.

Speaker 2: 29:25

I don't know what to say or what offends people, but yeah I'd like to say that I agree, like it kind of is kind of gets to the point where it is the same pretty much everywhere yeah but you can talk about that in all different types of like straight people there or girls there or those like there it's.

Speaker 2: 29:43

So I mean it's always going to be like that. But it's funny because we always talk about not labeling and in our community we don't do this and that but end up hurting each other. And I see that there's more labels and stuff that people don't even realize.

Speaker 1: 29:59

I know it gets confusing at this point.

Speaker 2: 30:04

I'm like yeah, what do I know? I don't really, let's say I don't really have that many gay friends. I have a couple of girl lesbian friends here, so I don't really I can't say that I'm in the community or in that world all the time, if that makes any type of sense. So I also feel that it's kind of, as a football player and gay, I don't really have that many people to talk about sports and stuff. When, when I meet other gay men, they're like ew, sports or oh, you do that. So it's like I kind of get like that response sometimes and I'm like wait, aren't we supposed to be friends?

Speaker 2: 30:42

exactly yeah, yeah, so it's, it's funny.

Speaker 1: 30:45

That's a good point. How? How do you meet somebody?

Speaker 2: 30:48

I don't, I, I yeah, I don't know Like, and for me I'm very. I wouldn't say that I'm different, but I don't really I like different type of music. I watch a lot of sports. I do have a lot of different interests that I do have. It's kind of tough because it's it's, it's I'm very, like the whole interests and stuff. It's so different. Sometimes I don't feel like I have that many people where I can maybe go watch a football game with or go to certain concerts because, like for me, I don't really I'm not a super fan of like Madonna, britney Spears and Beyonce and all that stuff. And whenever I say this it sounds kind of offensive or very like internalized homophobia or whatever it's. That's not what I mean. I'm just saying like, I like different stuff and sometimes that's not enough.

Speaker 1: 31:48

Yeah, it must be difficult, and also people know who you are. So how do you trust somebody when you meet them?

Speaker 2: 31:55

Oh, I don't really. That's never been a big deal. I just meet people, talk to them, see what happens and I just hope for the best that someone's nice. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1: 32:05

What kind of music do you like?

Speaker 2: 32:13

I love Eastern European music, Balkan music like Bulgarian, Serbian, Romanian, all that stuff. I've grown up with family members from there and a lot of friends and I just feel like it's rocking. It's so good. It's very oriental, very like out there. I love it. Rock music, rap, hip hop, that kind of way. Yeah, that stuff I like it, I love it.

Speaker 1: 32:34

What's the last concert you've been to?

Speaker 2: 32:36

I went to. That was a long time ago, iron Maiden. Probably that's a lie, because we went to Pride in Malta and it was Christina Aguilera.

Speaker 1: 32:49

So she did Pride here last year in Brighton.

Speaker 2: 32:51

She was there. It was like a free concert because we know a couple of people. Well, it was a free concert, but we know a few people there, so we got better seats. I'm not a big fan, but she was very good. That voice was amazing.

Speaker 1: 33:06

I like to finish this off with some fun quick fire questions, if you're up for that.

Speaker 2: 33:13

We'll see how that goes.

Speaker 1: 33:15

First celebrity crush.

Speaker 2: 33:19

Julian Edelman. Do you know who that is? I don't even know who that is. He's a former American football player for New England Patriots.

Speaker 1: 33:30

Okay, I'm going to look him up.

Speaker 2: 33:41

You should, I will will. Lamest pickup line. I'm only thinking about the swedish ones. I can't even like translate it. It's like hello biscuit, are you over there crumbling, or something like. I don't even what it's a swedish, it's really lame, then, yeah, yeah, what's your?

Speaker 1: 33:54

oh yeah, I'm definitely not straight moment.

Speaker 2: 34:00

Every time I see a guy I don't know like, oh, oh oh, oh, oh oh. This is supposed to be a fire question. I don't even know the answer. I like the Wizard of Oz. I don't know if that's a thing I don't know.

Speaker 1: 34:23

Works. It's an answer. What part of your body are you most comfortable with?

Speaker 2: 34:30

Everything.

Speaker 1: 34:32

So you just ruined my next question. Question which part are you least comfortable with?

Speaker 2: 34:38

okay, well, I'll just say that I I wish I had like bigger arms, because I'm a football player. I felt kind of small, but no, I'm good with them, they're nice what's the most used app on your phone probably twitter, because that's where I get all my football news and like silly season, when it's like transfer stuff what would be your dating app profile line?

Speaker 2: 35:08

which is like I'm learning bulgarian. It means like hello, guys, and when you have a different language with that type of alphabetic like Kirelitsa it's called people actually ask you oh, what is that language? And boom, you're into the conversation.

Speaker 1: 35:20

Amazing, someone you'd want to have coffee with.

Speaker 2: 35:24

Julian Edelman.

Speaker 1: 35:27

I'm going to have to look him up. I'm definitely going to do that. Your favorite swear word.

Speaker 2: 35:34

Oh um up, I'm definitely going to do that. Uh, your favorite swear word, oh um yeah, I always use the bulgarian one, which is a very bad word. You, yeah. In eastern europe you kind of say I got it, yeah, you know what it means. I do. I say that because no one really knows what it means. English and Swedish everybody knows, and for them to say that over there it's kind of like oh shit, basically. So it's not the same, basically.

Speaker 1: 36:05

Okay, craziest gift you've ever been given by a fan.

Speaker 2: 36:10

Well, I got a football, which doesn't sound too crazy, but he actually said that I want to pay money for us to have sex with that ball in between us.

Speaker 1: 36:20

So yeah, that was special did you get cash or check? I left are you a bath or a shower guy?

Speaker 2: 36:32

Bath.

Speaker 1: 36:34

If you had a superpower, what would it be?

Speaker 2: 36:36

I love this question. I'm always mystique. In X-Men, I would want to transform myself into anyone.

Speaker 1: 36:45

That'd be quite fun actually.

Speaker 2: 36:46

That would be amazing. It would be amazing, so bad.

Speaker 1: 36:52

If you haven't gone into football, you what would be your career of choice?

Speaker 2: 36:57

acting for sure. So much fun to do, like fun stuff like that do you see yourself getting married? The way my dating life has been going. No, uh. But you know what you never know yes and no.

Speaker 1: 37:13

Is it something that you'd want?

Speaker 2: 37:16

Not necessarily. I wouldn't die if I don't do it, but I don't know how to answer that.

Speaker 1: 37:22

Maybe yes, who knows what's around the corner?

Speaker 2: 37:25

Yeah, yeah, yeah, just give me the damn prank.

Speaker 1: 37:29

What's your next tattoo and where will it be?

Speaker 2: 37:33

Oh, this is crazy. I actually spoke to my tattoo artist today. I'm going to make right here between the beard and the ear. Right here I'm going to make like an anchor, because I recently got hired to this oil terminal company. We don't create the oil, we're just there to work, but we have boats and stuff that we work with. So anchor would be kind of like a moment apart in the life where I started doing that. So I'm going to have here. That's going to be the next one.

Speaker 1: 38:04

It's going to look cool. How do you relax? How do you relax?

Speaker 2: 38:10

I'm getting older, so I always sit on the couch and play video games, watch, watch football, or probably fall asleep watching a horror movie where everybody gets slaughtered, basically that's what I do.

Speaker 1: 38:20

That's my favorite way to relax. Yeah crazy. Everyone thinks I'm nuts, but that's what I do.

Speaker 2: 38:27

Favorite song at the moment it has to be the one that I still like, uh, love, uh. It's called bolka moya, which means my pain in bulgarian. It's very old, it's a couple years now, but still the favorite one I'm gonna research that one as well.

Speaker 2: 38:47

Most embarrassing thing you've done to get your crush's attention yeah, see that many crushes and it hasn't really worked out for me that well. Uh, I stayed a little bit later at work and didn't get paid extra for him to. I showed him the dumbest way of opening like evolve at work that like literally everyone understands. But I was just being nice because I wanted an extra moment with him.

Speaker 1: 39:21

That's fine, most spontaneous thing you've ever done.

Speaker 2: 39:31

Booked a trip to Barcelona, like two days ago that's good.

Speaker 1: 39:37

Okay, what's your biggest regret?

Speaker 2: 39:42

To be honest, nothing. I don't regret things.

Speaker 1: 39:47

I knew you were going to say that. What is your love language?

Speaker 2: 39:56

Again the most boring answer. I'd say something Eastern European, like probably Bulgarian, the stuff that I'm learning at the moment, because I feel like all the popular languages are just kind of cheesy, like English, spanish, french oh mi amor, it's just come on like, uh, maybe bulgarian. I guess english is quite good, though I mean it's cheesy, but english is quite good and a movie like yeah, what do you value most in your friendships? Honesty, loyalty, respect. Uh, that's as simple as it is.

Speaker 1: 40:37

Describe yourself in three words.

Speaker 2: 40:42

These are so tough man. Definitely fun, Fun, loyal, crazy yeah. Good ones Loyal crazy.

Speaker 1: 41:01

There you are.

Speaker 2: 41:03

Thank you.

Speaker 1: 41:03

Antonio, this has been fun.

Speaker 2: 41:06

Thank you, I hope I didn't bore you out.

Speaker 1: 41:09

Thanks for joining Kevjet the podcast and we'll keep in touch and speak soon. Thank, you.