Motherhood can feel extremely overwhelming while constantly striving to balance career, relationships and self-care. Promising that no one is alone in this journey, we open up the floor to discuss the real pressures that come with being a mother in an era of social media and the guilt that follows. Trust us, this episode offers a comforting and candid conversation about the reality of being a mom today.
We explore topics, from the struggle to divide attention between work and parenting to the complexity of maintaining intimacy while fulfilling the role of a parent. We acknowledge the emotional turmoil that comes with the need to prioritize our spouses over our children and the guilt that it sometimes brings.
Towards the end, we shift our focus to a critical debate – the safety and privacy concerns around sharing pictures of our children on the internet. We also discuss post-partum depression, a harsh reality for many new moms. But remember, amidst the chaos and fleeting moments, motherhood is also filled with joy and beautiful memories. So grab your favorite drink and join us in this honest discussion about the challenges and rewards of motherhood.
Follow us on socials for daily content and giveaways with our fam!
https://instagram.com/themomguiltpod?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==
https://www.youtube.com/@Bozofam
https://www.instagram.com/themomguiltpodcast/?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA%3D%3D
https://www.tiktok.com/@keelymcneal?_t=8dpqtFZCiic&_r=1
https://instagram.com/mrshannahcarew?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==
https://www.tiktok.com/@hannahspaincarew?_t=8fIne5eMiBa&_r=1
If you have any questions or topics you would love to see on the Podcast please reach out on Instagram - slide into our DM's, let's be besties!
Motherhood can feel extremely overwhelming while constantly striving to balance career, relationships and self-care. Promising that no one is alone in this journey, we open up the floor to discuss the real pressures that come with being a mother in an era of social media and the guilt that follows. Trust us, this episode offers a comforting and candid conversation about the reality of being a mom today.
We explore topics, from the struggle to divide attention between work and parenting to the complexity of maintaining intimacy while fulfilling the role of a parent. We acknowledge the emotional turmoil that comes with the need to prioritize our spouses over our children and the guilt that it sometimes brings.
Towards the end, we shift our focus to a critical debate – the safety and privacy concerns around sharing pictures of our children on the internet. We also discuss post-partum depression, a harsh reality for many new moms. But remember, amidst the chaos and fleeting moments, motherhood is also filled with joy and beautiful memories. So grab your favorite drink and join us in this honest discussion about the challenges and rewards of motherhood.
Follow us on socials for daily content and giveaways with our fam!
https://instagram.com/themomguiltpod?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==
https://www.youtube.com/@Bozofam
https://www.instagram.com/themomguiltpodcast/?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA%3D%3D
https://www.tiktok.com/@keelymcneal?_t=8dpqtFZCiic&_r=1
https://instagram.com/mrshannahcarew?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==
https://www.tiktok.com/@hannahspaincarew?_t=8fIne5eMiBa&_r=1
If you have any questions or topics you would love to see on the Podcast please reach out on Instagram - slide into our DM's, let's be besties!
Hi, mamas, madres, maas, mothers everywhere. Welcome back to the cast, to the podcast. Um, oh my gosh, I guess you weren't on the first episode. I don't know why. I thought last week we did record last week and that was a failure. Yes, it was a big one. Just so you know, podcasting is real hard, um, but we did try and not successfully did this last week.
Speaker 1:So on this second episode, hannah's here to stay, hopefully. Yes, I'm so excited to be here. So we're going to start with our little drinky drink. Yeah, so it's good. So you know, drink a little when you don't have the case. Yes, definitely.
Speaker 1:Um, mom waters, yeah, you had mom waters before. I have not. I'm so excited to try them. They're so good. Um, they're literally my favorite thing on Instagram because I was like I'm going to stalk them. Yes, and they look so cute they are. They're so good. It literally tastes like sparkling water and it's only 90 calories. It's so good.
Speaker 1:Okay, so there's four flavors Um, coconut, mango, passion fruit, blueberry, peach, lemon, blueberry. Which one you want to try? I think I want to try lemon blueberry. Okay, oh, she's a cutie. Yeah, zero sugar, zero carbs, zero artificial flavors and zero, right, this is not ad. Oh God, I'm excited. It's so cute that it's like gold on top. I know it's so cute.
Speaker 1:I'm going to do the um coconut mango. I haven't tried that one before. Oh my God, I chose the Karen. What does that mean? Oh yeah, oh, that's another thing. All the all of the flavors have different funny mom names. So like that one's Karen, the coconut mango is sandy peach or blueberry peach is Linda and passion fruit is Julie. Why did I pick Karen? I'm the most hated mom. Oh no, whatever, I'm going to be real loud. Karen knows you better taste good because you're not nice. It literally smells like, oh God, like suntan, like suntan oil. I feel like I'm on a beach somewhere. That's literally what it smells like. It smells so good. I literally just smelled my microphone.
Speaker 1:It's like a sparkling water, zero carbonation. Yeah, that's why it tastes like different. Yeah, like a cell Claws and stuff. There is like literally water. I'm not going to lie, I like carbonation. I know I do too, but it's good, I still like it. I like it. I just feel like it's easy to drink Sometimes the carbonation. If I drink too many, like seltzers, the carbonation starts making my throat hurt and with this it's literally sparkling water. It tastes so easy. I don't feel like it tastes like sparkling water because it doesn't have carbonation. Sparkling water doesn't have carbonation, but it's like bubbly Sparkling water does. Yeah, sparkling water.
Speaker 1:I'm talking about flavored water. I meant sparkling water. I'm so sorry. I was like this is so sparkling. I meant flavored water. It tastes like flavored water. Okay, like a propel almost, but like a different. Yeah, but with alcohol. Yeah, Hmm, yeah, I like it. I like it.
Speaker 1:Mom water yeah, for all you mamas out there, you can listen to the podcast and drink some mom water with us. We should. Cheers, okay, cheers. Let's get this podcast going. What are we talking about?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I feel like social media. We're all on social media literally all the time, yeah, and so I was scrolling through Tik Tok and like all of my four U pages, definitely mom stuff, everything is mom stuff, and a lot of things, though, I've been seeing is, one video will be like um, you only have 18 summers with your little ones. Like, keep them close, be present. And then the next one will be like take time for yourself. You know, if you're, if you're not, okay, you yeah. If you're not okay, you can't be okay for them. So, either way. Like, which way are you supposed to go? Like you're either way, you're a bad mom, you're taking time for yourself. So, mom guilt or your present, but you're not present enough while you're there, because you know we have full time jobs, we work, we have lives, yeah. So what are you supposed to do? Like, where do you win? Well, you don't ever. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I feel like being a mom is just like hard. A whole life of like feeling like you're not good enough in one area, like if I'm like not doing good at work, but I'm like it's usually cause I'm like spending more time with my kids or I'm like present with them versus like present at work, because my job is like 24 seven, so it's like I get. If I could probably go to like a nine to five, it would maybe make it easier because, like I could clock in, I could clock out and like leave work there. But I think there's a lot of moms that like follow me or that are like listening, that are like entrepreneurs, or like you feel like you have to be on like all the time. Yeah, and I feel like that, like literally at eight o'clock, nine o'clock at night, I'm like trying to cuddle the twins, like put them to bed, and people are texting me and I'm like, yeah, bro, but like that's also, I feel like kind of my fault because, like the boundary, I don't have great boundaries. So I feel like as a mom, you have to be really good at boundaries. Like if you're with your kids, you have to be like I'm not going to answer my phone or like I'm not going to focus on something else, I'm going to put my phone away, which is really hard when you work for yourself. But like, but if you do that and you are able to be present and then you can go be present at work, I feel like that fulfills you a little bit more than like feeling like you have to be like at both places at one time because it's really you can't, you can't be at both places at one time. You can, but then like you're not fully being, like you're working self and you're not fully being your mom self.
Speaker 1:So I've tried, I'm trying to get better at like I don't know, sometimes I have to do stuff at night when I have the babies and then, but I try my best to like wrap it up and we pick them up and like maybe only text clients, not try not to get on calls and do all the other things, unless I have to. But that's really hard. But I think it's just boundaries. Like I don't know if that makes sense. No, it does, 100%. If you don't have boundaries, then you know 11 o'clock you're going to be still working. Yeah, I've done that. Yeah, I mean, you have to do what you have to do. Yeah, it's hard. It makes it hard too, cause you're like I can just do like this one email real quick, literally yes, and then I like go down a hole like people and I'm like I'm going to respond to this one too. And then I have to like get this and I'm like, oh my God, it's like been two hours and I haven't like done anything else. But yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I think also, like, as moms were like really good at carving out the time and the best times, like when the babies go to sleep, if I'm like, if I have energy, I'm like, okay, they're asleep, and like if I'm not physically like holding them and they're in bed, like I can get work done, then I'm just exhausted. But like who's not exhausted as a mom? Yeah, like you're always exhausted, yeah, especially with, like newborns and everything. Oh my gosh, yes, I feel like once we get out of that stage two, like it'll be easier.
Speaker 1:I think the mom guilt for me, the mom guilt gets, I don't know. I feel like it actually is getting harder because, like when they're little babies, like they don't know, yeah, like it's more you, so you don't feel, you don't feel guilty for not being there, but like Easton's two now, or two and a half, almost three and I feel guilty with him because I'm like he knows that, like I'm not there, yeah, like he knows, like Tristan's picking him up from school, tristan's dropping him off, like he knows, like he's there a lot more because he's not working right now, versus me, where I'm like and showing that night or like I Can't go in the morning because I'm getting ready to go to work, and I'm like, yeah, he, like, I feel like. But then I think about it too and I'm like I don't remember shit from when I was yeah, I don't really have my first memory till I was like five or six. Yeah, I'm like you know, and some those for me are still like Noggy, like I'm like I don't even know till. I'm like probably was like eight or nine. Yeah, I'm like so maybe it's not that bad, but but then that's just like mom guilt we have to get past, I guess, because obviously I don't feel like Easton's gonna grow up and be like you're never there. No, no, he's gonna be like my mom worked her ass off to Provide and be successful and give me the life that I have. Yeah, you know, but I feel like that's really a lot of shame.
Speaker 1:Comes from, like, yeah, social media, because people like are constantly like You're a mommy, should be with your babies more, you should be doing this, you do that. And I'm like, okay, well, society wasn't made for moms to be home, like it there. It's just not anymore. Like I don't. I have like very few friends that can actually be stay at home, mom, afford it or be like doing well, like they may afford it, but they're like struggling. Like they're like, yeah, like my husband's only income, I get to stay home, but like we have to sacrifice like ABC. And I'm like, no, I don't have to do that and I, I enjoy. Like I enjoy having a career, I enjoy having a job. Same like, if you just get past the mom gill.
Speaker 1:But I would like go crazy if I was to stay at home mom. No, me too. Like I would die. I would rearrange the house every single day like it would not. I would get bored. I would get bored after two weeks. No, I would just like. I would just go crazy because I'd be like, what do I do today? Like if the most fun part and I love my kids to death. But I'm like I would go crazy if my like the best part of my day was like me leaving the house to like go on a walk. My kids, yeah, and that mine son, really meet me because I follow other girls on text. What could I do that shout out to y'all because I follow girls and they're like going on our morning walk and then like we're gonna come home and have lunch and we're gonna and some people are made for that, some people are made to be stay at home moms and go you. But that's not me. Like I'm, yeah, I would go, say I would go crazy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I want, I want to have a career and I want you know, I want to show like, once you get past the mom, get. It's also like you're not being there, but it's teaching them. Yeah, like, okay, number one, you're not handed everything in this world. You do have to work for the things that you do have. Yeah, and you know, watching them, watching their parents do that, I feel like it only establishes like work ethic and you know, only good things in them. Yeah, you know, and yeah, sometimes it sucks.
Speaker 1:Like Jamison is four and a half, so he's very vocal now and he tells me how he feels and I get mom, get a lot like With me going to mommy, do you really have to go to work today? Do I really have to go to school today? And that sucks. I hate it. Yeah, like I'm. Those are the times like I call my mom and I'm so upset like I didn't want to leave him at school today, like he's so sad and like his face like he loves it. So he's like I'm gonna school by mommy and it's like really daycare. But he's like I'm going to school and I think, like, because we started him so young too, like I had a lot of hate like from a lot of people when he was really young going to daycare, which I didn't have a choice, I was like whatever, like the same way.
Speaker 1:I'm me too, so like, but I think because he started so young, he was so used to it and so now it's like normal for him and he's like he wakes up and he like knows he's getting dressed for school and he's like get my water and get my this and that, like going to school, and he'll literally walk on the door and be like I love you, see you later, like so he's doing really good with it. But he did start really young, so I'm like I feel like one day he's gonna be like that. I'd be like I don't want to go, but I don't know, maybe he'll just keep loving it because I think it's made him really social. Yes, I will say that, like Jameson is so social, he can play with anyone, he makes friends so easily. Like I'm so glad that we did that because, yeah, you know, like I see, like I Remember me as a kid, like my mom stayed at home with me, yeah, and so when I went into like pre-k, she said that like it was like I didn't know. Like you know, I was spent the time with her and like she had some friends that had kids. Yeah, but my mom had me so late in life they're all older than me, so I didn't really know how. You know, I didn't really know how to make Friends. It took a minute. So Jameson's like I mean he doesn't know any different. Yeah, yeah, gotta share. Yeah, you gotta talk to people. He's like ready to go, yeah, home. Yeah, I don't know. I think it's just like you just have to find works for you and I think that's with everything.
Speaker 1:Like I feel like you could post on social media like any version and somebody's gonna be like no, people are always gonna mom shame the worst, always Whatevs. Always I feel the most like mom guilt. I have such a hard time with this, like I cannot tell you how many times like I've texted Michael during the day or like I Beat myself up so much like, say, michael and I take like a night away, yeah, and we send Jameson to like his grandparents or something. I'm like I feel so guilty because I'm like I we worked all week and we're taking time like for our marriage and like For ourselves. But then it's also like I feel so guilty. Yeah, I just posted that the pictures that Tristan I took and I posted that on like tick-tock or whatever it was.
Speaker 1:Like putting your spouse Above your kids is like really important and like a lot of there was people that were like, why, why would you do that? Like that makes you a bad mom, like did it. And I'm like, honestly, I think we Can be more Present and happier as parents when, like, the unit in the house is stronger, like I feel like when we don't go, when Tristan, I go Weeks without like a date night or like just like to go by yourself somewhere, like we start to fight more, like we're like Exhausted, like it's like a refuel to like make us better, and I, every time after we go on a date night, like tomorrow going to the party, we're going to be like the first thing we've done together, really Like at night, like did something, yeah, went and had fun together without the kids or worrying about the kids, and like I just know like After that time we'll be like we'll come home and we'll like be happy to see our kids because we miss them, but like, yeah, we got to like reach you the night, yeah, yeah. And so I don't know. I feel like there's like mom go. I feel like I get mom guilt too, like when I'm like choosing to do that, but then, like in the middle of it, I start to feel better and I'm like, okay, this is good, this is good. Yes, you have to talk yourself off the lunch.
Speaker 1:Like I feel, okay, I like my parents got divorced. Like my parents got divorced and I was like I don't know 10 or 11 maybe, and like it wasn't for like Reasons that were like pertaining to us or like not spending time together. But like I grew up in a family where, like there was divorce and then like remarry and like I don't want, like my kids To go through that. So I'm like it's really interesting comes from a family that's been together for 20, 30 years. Like his parents are have been together, they have the best marriage, like they're a great example. So like I think he he didn't like divorce, doesn't even like play in his mind because he's like never seen it.
Speaker 1:But I'm like I don't want to be like the couple that like Raises their kids and then like has nothing in common or like no relationship when their kids are gone, either, because, like your kids are With you for 18 summers with them, like they leave and then you're like, yeah, like okay, what do I do now? And like I don't even know this person I'm married to because, like, we've been so focused on our kids for so long Yep, like that's scary too. So I'm like trying to trying to balance both of them because, like, if the marriage or the relationship isn't strong, like, I feel like your Kids feel that too. So like you want to be strong there so that your kids can thrive, because if the household is healthy and loving, I feel like they just, in general, are happier. Yeah, anyways. So, yeah, I don't know, I feel like it all like just come, like this Works off of the other.
Speaker 1:Like you have to like have all of them, and it's hard to like know, like, if you're doing it, you know like Mike and I both come from like Divorce families and so every single day, we're like, are we doing this right? Like what should we do? You know we try to seek like advice from other people, but it gets hard. Like am I, am I giving enough time to my significant other, but I'm also sacrificing it? Yeah, I feel like there's guilt. Either way, like you can never win for losing. Like at some point you just have to be like you know what I am doing my best, yeah, and my best is the best that I can do so. At the end of the day, I feel like that's what matters. Yeah, you love your child. Yeah, they're fed, they're healthy. Yeah, more than what they want.
Speaker 1:You know, I Don't know why we have to feel guilty and make other people feel guilty all the time about it. You know, I'm, but I that's where I think it comes from, though, like I feel like the guilt comes from other people, like cuz, honestly, if I'm like, if I'm doing what I want to do, I don't really feel like Internally. I've like sometimes, but really I don't. Like I feel most guilty when I post something and someone's like oh my god, like why are you doing this and all that? And like really it's outside people because, like, when I go on a date night With Tristan, I'm like I know that we need this. When I go and like take ease in somewhere so we can have time alone, I'm like I know that we need this, like so I don't know. I feel like it's just society in general. That's just like Everybody's always gonna hate on something. Yeah, so that's why I'm just like I'm this like a piece, really honestly with, like what I choose to do. I'm like there's no if there's no winning, like, I'm just gonna do it makes me happy and if, like, I want to have a date night on Friday night, I'm going to have a date night and I'm doing it and that's just how I feel. So, yeah, yeah, that's a good way to fail. I just like that. I wish I could get there, and mine's not really like towards posting, because I'm not all famous and stuff, but on tiktok and social media, but mine is more like I want to be.
Speaker 1:My guilt comes from like I put more pressure on myself to be the Best mom that I possibly can be, yeah, and like I want to make sure that I'm doing that in every aspect. So I overanalyze everything. I'm such a bad over thinker about literally everything. There could be an ant crawling and I would overthink on oh my gosh, like there's crumbs somewhere, like I overthink, so I I put a lot of pressure on myself, on my. That's where my guilt, that's what I was trying to say, sorry, my kill stimulator comes from, yeah, the pressure that I put on myself to be such a good mom. So I overanalyze everything that I do and I'm like, okay, well, I could have done this better, but in reality, no, you're doing just fine. Yeah, and that's what Michael has to tell me all the time.
Speaker 1:I'm like I'm such a bad mom. He's like no, you're not like Hannah. Oh, my gosh, you can go. You can go for three hours, it's okay. Just go have some alone time. Yeah, I don't really have that problem, but I think it's. I don't know what. I wish I could get there. I do, I truly do. I admire that. Maybe you have three. Yeah, I only have one. Yeah, right now. So maybe I think when you have them, the, the multiple I had multiples, so it's like that was like really hard. But I think once you have the second child second and third in my case, but like just collectively, there was yeah.
Speaker 1:Like when you bring the other babies home, I feel like it's like you have to. I don't know like I feel like because you get so you have so many different directions, you're being pulled like you don't really have Any time. I don't even think I have. I feel like I don't even have time to feel guilty, like I'm like I just have to do shit, like I just have to get done and like I don't know like feed the babies, like get them Just sleep, and like when they're this young too, they're still like in a rhythm where it's like, okay, they wake up, we feed them, like, we cuddle them they can't do much right now, so it's not like we can do anything really with them and then, like they go to daycare and like, when they come home, we hang out with them and they go to bed, and like that we sometimes will sit and be like ding and we like feel like we don't really see the babies a lot, like we miss them and we'll like pick them up early from school or whatever.
Speaker 1:But like I don't know, I've considered like running away to another country and I'm like, should we just like save some money and go To another country where, like, we can live on a beach for real cheap and like we raise our kids and homeschool them and like hang out With them all the time? But then I started thinking about how much I think I would hate that too. I'm like, oh my god, I would get bored. Yeah, I mean suck on an island and not being able to, yeah, no, like it sounds like fun, but then, yeah, for a month, I don't know about forever. So then I also I try to like weigh the options.
Speaker 1:I'm like, okay, I'm a little bit upset today because I miss my kids, but like sometimes think about like where, like how it could be, because I always like I love to follow people on social media that like live in other countries and they're like this is how we do things here and like it looks so nice. But then I'm also like I'm not really a homemaker, like I'm not, like that's just not my personality. Yeah, like people have literally told me I'm not nurturing and I really am not. Like I'm not.
Speaker 1:I'm a weird mom, like I like I'm not very affectionate like Tristan I argue about all the time because his love languages, physical touch, and that's like zero for me, like literally, when I took like the five love language tests like we've done that together number one was words of affirmation and then I Don't even know, I think number two was quality time. No, I'm not gonna, okay. No, gift giving was the last one and then, above that was physical affection or whatever, because I hate when people get me shit. I don't know why. Like I'm weird, like, even like at Christmas when, like Tristan's parents like buy me shit, they're like open your gifts and like oh my god, it's so awkward. No, I really it's because, like I don't like to open gifts in front of people and it's like I don't like something I can't pretend. Oh really no, I have like resting bitch face and I like everything's on my face Like if you make me mad or like sad or like uncomfortable, you will like no, like yeah, facing people are like You're not feeling this. So like if I get something, I'm like really bad and Tristan knows me really well, so like open it up and I'll be like Thanks so much, and then literally like we'll be like I don't know at the other part of the house and he's like you fucking hated that, like it was horrible. So I don't know.
Speaker 1:I feel like I'm not a nurturer, like I'm not like I have to literally think about like hugging Tristan and like hugging my kids and not because, like I don't love them, because like that's not my. I think my love language for my Family and for Tristan and for my kids is like working for them, providing for them, like keeping the house clean and like helping them in that way, versus like Giving them hugs and saying I love you and like doing all that. So it's weird because, like I feel like most moms are more like affectionate towards their kids and like love my kids to death. But and I and I hug them and I kiss them. But like, when I really think about it, it's like when they wake up, I give them a hug and I kiss them and I'm like, okay, let's have a good day. And then, like at night, I'm like, okay, let me kiss you good night. Like it's not like a normal and like first listen to like I'll leave the house and I'm like love you, yeah. And then I get home like love you, like that's it. And I mean, sometimes I don't even kiss someone. I get home after literally forced myself to do that shit.
Speaker 1:So I'm just not a nurturer, so I think that plays a lot. It's like my mom guilt cuz I'm just like I Don't know. Sometimes I feel like I'm a man, you're a man, yeah. Cuz I'm like I don't really want to touch you, but like I'll tell you that I love you, like words are not my problem, like words of affirmation, mine, my number one, that's my best. And like all you have to do is tell me that I'm pretty, tell me that you love me and that you're never gonna leave me. We're gonna be good in period. Yeah, I'm not way to do anything else. Yeah, words of affirmation are my thing.
Speaker 1:I'm I'm not really if I've had to make myself, but Michaels is like physical touch as well. I feel like every man like it's ridiculous man. That's not his loving, which is not physical affection, because they just want to like touch you all the time. Fuck off me, please. All the time, like you get like touched out as a mom too, and that's like a great space. Yeah, I'm overstimulated, like I need my space. Yeah, and sometimes it's just like Gosh, those are rough days.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I'm like I will lay next to you, but I don't really want to cuddle. No, just don't touch me. I'll lay here quality time, let's talk. Just don't touch me. Yeah, just don't touch me, and it's nothing personal, it's not towards you. I've just known I've been working all day. Yeah, I came home and Jameson was all over me. Yeah, you know. Yeah, that's a real thing for sure.
Speaker 1:But yeah, we're saying yeah, men are just like. I feel like they're so hard because they're just like. They don't need none of them even have to read the book, they just need to be like yes, I just want you to make out with me in the middle of the day, like my, I'm really weird and like I don't, I don't get in like the mood unless it's like nighttime. It's really weird and this is getting really deep. But I think it's so funny because literally like Tristan will know when I want to do anything, because it'll be nighttime. Like I'll actually touch him and I'll be like oh hi, babe, and he's like Okay, maybe, maybe, but it's like really awkward, but no, like he could literally have sex any time of the day, like I could literally come home and it'd be like 1 pm and he's like what's up? And I'm like hell, no, like I'm not in the mood, like I it's probably also because I'm like in work mode and I'm like, yeah, like I can't even be turned on right now because like this shit just happened and that pissed off. Yeah, but like, yeah, it bothers him. He's like when are you ever gonna just have sex with me, like during the day? That would be cool. I'm like you would literally do it at any moment. So I know that you would do it in the car, in a parking lot, if I was just like, let's do it.
Speaker 1:Like it's just boys are, oh, men, men that took a left turn but it did. It's okay, yeah, but I just think that's so funny because I'm like bro, they're so easy to please. They really are. Yeah, feed them, hmm, say nice things, yeah, they want words to Meadow soft. To be honest, they want to be, they want to their men. So they want to feel like they're empowered and like you're doing. They want to be praised. You're doing such a good job For doing the dishes.
Speaker 1:Like babe, did you see I cleaned the house? I'm like you literally put stuff in the dryer. He didn't even fold them or put them away, and he's like but I put them. I'm like but now I have to do the rest of it. But thank you, no, that's how it literally with like bottles, I'll be like oh, I'll come home and I'll be like did you notice the house is clean? I'm like, yeah, he's like, and I'm like, and I do that shit every day, literally. Congratulations, you did a great job. Yeah, that shit kind of bothers me too. Like bro, you're weak, love you, but for real, no, he knows it because I tell him all the time. I'm like bro, I'm not clapping for you for doing the dishes, but love you so much.
Speaker 1:But I think that's another thing that's hard about being mom Like I feel like you're just expected to like everything. I listen to podcasts. Be okay. Yeah, I listen to podcasts where this girl was like a lot of the times, like moms are so annoyed because they're like now they're expected to work and then they're expected to come home and like make dinner but also clean, but like also do all the other shit, and it's like oh, laundry, get them for bed, get them ready for bed, get everything ready for the next day. If you have animals, feed the animals, like do everything.
Speaker 1:And by the time you actually sit down, it's 1130 and you're like I have to get up at five o'clock in the morning. Yeah, and then you go straight to bed so you do nothing for yourself all day, nothing. You hardly have time to take a shower. Yeah, yeah, like, yeah, I think that's why I don't feel guilty doing stuff for myself. No, when I'm like when I have a moment to like go get my nails done, or like get a massage, or like when I go get my hair done, I'm like, no, I'm like I don't give a shit. Yeah, because, like, literally I get my nails done probably once every two weeks and that probably takes like an hour and a half, two hours. Sometimes.
Speaker 1:If I'm doing like my toes and my fingers and I'm just like I don't give a crap, like I will go, I'll be like Tristan, I'm leaving, I'm going to do this, but like that's like a couple hours a month. Plus, like some I think I get my hair done like every week. So like once a month, it's like not, yeah, but I don't know, it's I don't know. I guess I just don't feel bad anymore because I'm like I know that if I get to the point where I'm like exhausted and I don't do anything for myself, I'm going to be a real bitch. No, yeah, I'm like let me save you from myself. Yeah, do something for myself, because you get like to a point.
Speaker 1:If you don't do anything like for yourself, like you get to a point where, like you're just in the motion and like doing everything, you're going to get burnout and you're going to resent people. Yes, build a lot of betterment, betterness and resentment. Yeah, and that's not good for any type of relationship. Yeah, true, I feel like I'm not going to get that much of a divorce at all. I feel like something that like this may be off topic a little bit, but something that I want, like I feel like it's hard, that is like a struggle like with a relationship is there's so much pressure. Everybody gets a divorce, yeah, everybody like.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I literally can name couples on my hand that we know, yeah, less than five years and already got divorced. Yeah, we actually Tristan. I actually know like three this year that have like gone south and for reasons that are like legit. Yeah, yeah, but still it's so sad, like that is so discouraging. Yeah, and then like you, and it's so crazy that nowadays when you hear somebody say, oh, we've been married for 25 years, it like literally floors you. Yeah, you're like, oh my gosh, like you never hear that.
Speaker 1:What is your secret? Yeah, and normally they're just like, uh, I don't know. Yeah, they're like Mary, mary, your best friend, like okay, yeah, like I think he's my best friend. I don't know. Yeah, he's a different person every day. I don't know Like he's cool sometimes. Yeah, I know the tips are always like, yeah, I don't know, I'd really I don't know. I like to watch those on TikTok too, where they like ask people and sometimes like give advice. But yeah, I don't know, I feel like.
Speaker 1:I just feel like the key to is like knowing, like all the couples that we know that are splitting up, or like things happened and there's like yeah, and it's just like they. Just I feel like they just think like things are going to be better outside of that relationship, but it's because they're not working on their relationship. It's like that's why I'm like I'm afraid to stop going on date nights. I'm afraid to like stop, like having time at night to ourselves and like making that a priority and like I don't know like little things.
Speaker 1:Like literally like when the kids all go to bed and we want to do like whatever, but like instead of like sitting on my phone, or like Tristan will play xbox and I'm like fuck her, like he's pretty good about it now, but like he'll sometimes be like watch me play xbox, and we like try to put our time like slower time of me, like okay, well, this night we're going to like do this together, yeah, but if we don't do that like, we do like we're more like mean to each other, like we're never like mean, mean, but like we're not on the same page, so we'll fight more, I don't know and we just like are just mean, generally, just meaner to each other. Like I want to be like love petty, and you like notice too. I feel like when you are and this is why I'm trying to like be more of a loving, touching person, because, like when we are intimate, like we're so much better, yeah, which is like just and like that bothers me because I feel like it shouldn't have to be that way, but it makes sense when, like you take the time to like do that with your partner and like have undivided attention with them and like be with them. Like you just literally like you're done in the next days like better, like you'll like wake up in the morning and be like, oh, I remember now I love you, I love you so much. And then, like that that rides for like two days, three days, and then you're like I kind of hate you again, like you're kind of annoying me. Let's like reset and like that's so real, though that's so real, which sounds bad, like that's not like the only reason. We're like okay, today we're mad at each other today, but like I don't know, I feel like that's so, that's so true and it's it's just hard.
Speaker 1:Like I listened to a podcast the other day too, where they're like you have to plan sex when you're, when you're married with kids, like you like can't just be like we're going to spontaneously, like no, because these kids are always there. It's so hard, like when Eastern was little, I think we could, we got away with it more because he was a best sleeper, like he would literally lay down and be in his own crib in his own room like all night long, and so that was honestly really easy. But like now with the twins were like we've been sleeping in the guest room because, like Asher loves being in our bed, so we sleep in the we're like on a queen size bed versus like our king size bed and we're like right next we're in between Cohen and like Eastern when they sleep and I'm like I don't even know if I can get in the mood, yeah, knowing that Cohen's sleeping right here and like Eastern's right there, and like I just don't know about this and that's hard. So, like you have to, it's hard. So we literally do.
Speaker 1:We're like okay, if this night, like one kid's not going to be here or two is going to be like with grandma, grandpa, like we're going to have to do something like, yeah, play on this, it's bad. Which like takes kind of the fun out of it too, cause you're not like spontaneously, like doing things. You're like, yeah, we can't tonight, we can't tomorrow. I think it's funny, so just laugh it off. For like tonight and like yesterday night, we're like, all right, let's go, let's just do it. Which sounds really, really creepy, but I feel like that's how you have to do it sometimes, to be honest. Sometimes, yeah, yeah. So if you don't have kids, enjoy the kids are always there, especially when they get older.
Speaker 1:Yeah, all of a sudden they just show up, yeah, in the middle of the night. You're like, oh my gosh, hi, yeah, you're supposed to be asleep. That's terrifying. Yeah, eastern hasn't, like he has started getting out of his bed, but like we know. So we're very caught. We're like we're not going to do anything unless he's going to play for like three hours. Let me know, locking start the door. Yeah, you can't, you have to. It's just like gets awkward.
Speaker 1:I would think I would die if he's been walked in on me. I still remember, like I literally remember when I walked in on my parents. Stop me too. I remember. I'm like I'm in your brain forever, which is why I'm like we cannot let this happen, because every time I look at him I'm going to be like, oh my God, he's so naked, like even if he doesn't see like my whole body, like I can't, I can't, oh, never forget it was. Oh my God, scarring, scarring, so horrible, so horrible. Like I literally remember exactly how it happened and like my sisters were with me, I like and I can still tell them to this day, like remember that time, and they're like it scars you. Oh my God, yes, it was horrible, and they were younger than me as the oldest girl. So I was like I had to like explain what was going on and I'm like I don't fucking talk about this, but like they're all like what's going on, I'm like, oh my God, it's terrifying. And I don't think I was young. I mean, I was like a teenager, but I was like doing it. So I was like, oh my God, this is like the first like thing I'm like seeing of this I'm going to throw up. Yeah, that was horrible, horrible. Yes, don't do that to your kids. Oh my God, no, no, absolutely not Horrifying, literally God, disgusting. Yeah, I never want to do that to my child. Yeah, lock the door, make sure your kids are asleep for sure.
Speaker 1:Read a bad comment at the end of every episode and talk about it, or we, because bad patch, it is just so much easier to talk about than good shit, which is not good, but like, yeah, my good comments are just like. You're such a good mommy. I could never do that period. Like I'm like okay, thank you, but the bad ones are so juicy. You can do that if you want to, that's fine, but I don't really know Comment I'm gonna do the only comment.
Speaker 1:I saved this little girl telling me that I was trying to post my kids for clout. That's just the stupidest thing. I would hurt a million. Honestly, kind of, but not really. Yeah, like, I'm actually like, maybe, but it's not really like. I Don't know.
Speaker 1:I feel like this day in society, like that's what you do, but like, but I do it. So I somebody said whatever and then I was like in my head I'm like, yeah, but like it's my life, like. I just feel like I'm sharing my life, like anybody else would like yeah, I didn't have kids and you were sharing. You're like I wake up and I go to the gym and I get a coffee and I do, like I, like I follow those girls too. I'm like, oh my god, I want to be you. Like I love that you don't have kids and you're like living your best life. Like go girly. Like I love Watching those, yeah, but I'm not like, oh my god, you're so fucking annoying. Yeah. Like, oh my gosh, go get a job. Yeah, like, do something with your life.
Speaker 1:No, this girl I'm just gonna she at oh my god, and I actually thinks this is shocking. She actually has a picture. It's not a picture of her face, but I'm not gonna lie. Nine times out of ten, they never have videos or content at all and they have no picture. She does have a picture, but it looks like she's holding a Turtle. Okay, so she's, she's gentle, but she's mean. That's a turtle, literally a turtle, literally. It's a turtle in the palm of her hands.
Speaker 1:But she this was on my video that went viral with the babies or whatever, and she said what's to celebrate? Women have been doing this for years, period. In fact, there are women raising twins or raising several children and working full-time jobs. You just don't see them looking for clout. They are busy raising their babies and working that they don't have time to put on a show. So I actually have a full-time job period and I have multiple kids and that video is like funny to me, because I got a lot of comments like that and I was like if you would literally just go on my channel and like watch one other video, you would see that I have a two-year-old too. You would also see that I'm a working mom. But it is what it is. So that just cracks me up.
Speaker 1:But yeah, I tell Tristan that I'm like I don't like trying to post our kids for clout, but like. But like people like watching. Yeah, like it's fun. I don't know what's wrong with that, I don't know. That's why I'm just like it's my life, like I just feel like I have some people want to share their life. Yeah, it's your life. Some people want to share, some people don't. Yeah, I don't know your choice. Yeah, it's just so funny to me. But I'm also like you, really just like it took the time to post. I know Like you really thought that out.
Speaker 1:Like to hate on someone. Oh well, she's hating on you. She's not hating on somebody else, you know. At least you can brush it off. Some people can't, you know, but I like literally could never imagine like taking the time to say I would never like why it's so easy to scroll past Like I do it. I will never understand.
Speaker 1:Like people hating on people's videos, like I don't have the time and I'm not like trying to scroll through to like Spread hate. Like I'm trying to go through all post positive comments when I feel like I want to say something, yeah, but like I will never take the time to be like You're ugly, don't. Like you hate this video. Like let me talk shit about you. Like ever, like I just I don't know, I don't know. I guess that just means I'm a happy person because I think miserable, miserable people do that shit. Yeah, people that aren't happy in their own lives, like they want to try to bring other people down. I will never understand that, yeah.
Speaker 1:And then, like I post a lot about the twins and like a lot of comments I get are like at least you don't have triplets and I'm like I'm quite literally not posting this for you. You have triplets. I'm just like, girl, I'm not trying to post this to be like I'm better than you, like I'm literally just sharing like what my life is. If I had Triplets, I'd share the same thing. If I had one baby instead of twins, I would share the same thing. Yeah, I could date with my newborn baby, like, but I just happen to have twins and so I'm sharing both my children. I don't know. I don't know. People are stupid. They are like a feather in here. It's like poking me.
Speaker 1:Um, I was gonna say something else on that but I forget what I was gonna say. Oh, I was gonna ask how you feel about, obviously, like you share Jameson on your videos right now. But I've been doing a lot of research about like not sharing your kids on Dude and I'm scared. I don't know how I feel because, like, I really love sharing them and I'm like Not thinking that like I won't be able to post if I don't show them, but like I like, I like it because I feel like I can look back on it later and like have those videos and be like and I could take them on my phone. But I think it would be cool to like, when I do voiceovers and talk about, like the stage of life that we're in. Like if I have my TikTok in like five years and they're like older, I can look back and be like, oh my god, this is how it was, and like I've grown so much, or like it's like an album of, like your life. If you share that much, like, yeah, like I can go through and like look at all these things, and that's why I try to share a lot, because it's not really for other people, like I enjoy doing it for myself, yeah, and I like doing it for other people because I do get comments where people are like you give me hope that, like I'm not gonna like be a shitty mom or like, yeah, like I relate to you, like you're a good mom and I do what you do. So, like I posted for other people too, but like I don't know how do you feel about it, because I don't know what I.
Speaker 1:I read an article. This is so crazy. You brought this up. I read an article today and I cannot remember her name, but she was a influencer on Tik Tok and she was talking about how People are taking AI yeah, I saw that and taking your children Pictures, videos and using AI and making them explicit. I saw that and sharing them and Figuring, like showing them for everybody and then also figuring out where you live, yeah, and then starting to like post them and put their information on there. So it scares the hell out of me. Yeah, I don't know what I'm gonna do because, like, I've seen some people start to like blur their kids faces yeah, or just not, we're just gonna show the back of his head running around or something like. Yeah, because I feel like AI is like we, it just like we just started hearing about it. Yeah, so it's only gonna get bigger.
Speaker 1:So what happens when Jameson is 15, 16 years old? You know, yeah, I just feel like that's so scary. Yeah, and I feel like everywhere, literally in Forsyth County, yeah, that there was a man that just got arrested because he was trying to sell a 16 year old on the black dark web. He didn't even know her. Yeah, that's crazy and so, yeah, it's terrifying. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I think I get, I would, I get more, I'm less worried. I'm a crime junkie, so I like overthink all of it. Well, like, I think I'm less worried about it now because they're so little not that someone can't take a baby but like I Get more scared as the kids get older because they're on their own. They will be on their own more. Yeah, like with me all the time. Like, yeah, I don't leave my side and I don't even go out with them alone, like I'm always with Tristan, with them. Yeah, because I don't want to have three kids and be outnumbered and lose one. Literally.
Speaker 1:I'm like that's like a fear of mine. I'm like, yeah, I don't even, I haven't even taken like all of them to target. Like on a target run, I take Easton and I leave the twins home with Tristan. Because I'm like if I have the twins in, easton decides to run off, like, yeah, I'm fucked. Yeah, like what do I do? Who do I like take? So I don't even like try to get outnumbered in that situation.
Speaker 1:But like the twins posting the twins, like seeing the AI stuff like creeps me out, but like them physically, like something happening, happening to them and like someone taking them doesn't scare me as much as like people, just like taking the pictures and doing stuff. But like with Easton as he gets older, I'm like I don't know. Yeah, like your people know what school you go to. Or like you get older and you're in elementary school and like you are by yourself like after school and like just weird stuff. Or like when they're old enough to like go hang out with their friends. That scares me, yeah, cuz that's when people I feel like try to kidnap kids and they're like out by themselves and I'm like, oh my god, I don't want like people to know who you are. Cuz, like as I post more and like my following is like grows. I'm like, oh my god, then like a lot of people might know, like who you are, yeah, and then that's scary, literally yes.
Speaker 1:So I don't know, it's terrifying. I don't know what to do. I Don't know. Maybe I'll just start posting and I think I post the babies more than Easton, just because he's hard to like. He's not usually around me. He's like playing on his own or he's like chilling by himself, like he's really good at that and like he's with me Sometimes, but mainly he's like playing. Like he's not like on me. Like the twins are so like it's easier for me to like have them Versus have him on camera. So he's like not actually in a lot. I feel like he's a lot less of my videos than he was before, but I don't know, it still scares me, I Don't know. It's very scary, it's a very like.
Speaker 1:I feel like it's a, a big conversation. Yeah, I feel like it goes into so many different. It's really sad, though, like it's really sad that we can't like post. No, it is ridiculous that there that Evil people in the world. Yeah, like it's so sad, yeah, it's so sad and it's terrifying also that I Did my parents didn't have to worry about this and, like I, just the world that my child is growing up into is Terrifying, scary. Yeah, so I just have to trust God and pray about it, because if you don't, you know, yeah, well, there's not really much you can do. Literally it's a sad part. Yeah, ending on a dark note again, I know so easy to talk about that. What's a good thing? I Don't know.
Speaker 1:Here's a good one if you could give yes advice to your younger self as like a first, like First time having Easton, like you're about to have Easton Going into it, being a first-time mom, like and you didn't know, you're gonna have three kids. But if you could go back to that person, what would be your biggest advice? Really cliche, but I think I would like just tell and people tell us all the time I don't like time goes by really fast, but I feel like, like with East. I feel like with your first baby it's even worse, like and I feel like you'll experience this when you have your second baby, because it's like the second time you know how fast it goes, so you're like more aware and you're like I'm gonna spend this like time with the kids more. But when you have your first, you're like so scared. I feel like you're so scared and you like don't know what you're doing and you're drowning, literally. So you know it goes by so fast and you don't enjoy it.
Speaker 1:Like I don't even really remember, like I have pictures. I have fewer pictures of Easton than I do of the twins, because I feel like I was so overwhelmed, being a new mom, that I just like I Don't have, like I feel like you can get like post-bomb depression or like anxiety, which makes it worse. I didn't even have that and I was like so overwhelmed I like didn't take pictures because I was just like I'm just trying to survive out here, like I'm tired. So I feel like I would tell myself like obviously that things go by really fast, but like to Embrace the messiness of it and like be okay with that. It's gonna be a shit show, because it's gonna be a shit show. But like you're gonna want like those videos and those pictures and like those Memories, you're gonna want to remember them and have them in some way shape or form. Because I feel like with the twins, like I Remembered how fast I went with Easton and they're growing up fast too, but like I feel like it's been easier this time around because I've seen it happen and I'm like okay, like this is normal. But with the first one it's like holy shit, like you have them and then you're like they're one.
Speaker 1:I feel like the whole first year, like when we got to his first birthday, I was just like what just happened? Like literally like he's one, what just happened? And then, like I feel like the age when they're one, they're already so independent, like he was already like walking and like Didn't need me to hold him anymore. So it's like you really get like one year where, like you're holding them a lot. Yeah, for Easton at least. I think all babies are different, but like Easton was walking and he was like I don't want to, I want to walk like, and so I was like shit. Like I had one year to like really hold him close. I know he's like bad it shit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think I would just be like, yeah, just, I don't know if that's cliche, but I think it's not. Like you don't realize people tell you when you're pregnant, when you're having your baby, but you don't realize, you still never realize it till after it happens. I feel like so, yeah, I think that's good advice, yeah, I think that's very good advice. What's your advice? I would actually say the exact thing.
Speaker 1:I was so young that I didn't, yeah, I didn't take in all the little things. Yeah, that's why, with your babies, I'm always like, oh my gosh, look at the little sneeze, look at the little oos. Yeah, oz, because, like I I don't have a lot of pictures either, or videos, and I just wish, like I did, and I wish I went back, because I mean, I was so overwhelmed, yeah, and I did. I did have postpartum depression. It was yeah bad. So I feel like I Didn't, I wasn't very present, and so it was like, literally, I snapped my fingers and he's not a baby anymore. And so I, if I could give my younger self advice to be like literally Absorb and take in every single moment and every single day with this baby. Yeah, because they're gone and then now they're Four and a half and he's going. Mom, yeah, what are you doing? Yeah, I think I'm giving you a kiss, I don't know. Mom, yeah, no, it goes by really fast. Yeah, it's crazy. I, you, you.