From Underdog to Millionaire: Journey of a Revolutionary Man

Embark on a transformative odyssey with us as Joel Gandaras, a man whose tale of escaping communism's clutches to seize the American dream, joins our stirring discussion. It's not every day you meet a revolutionary who turned his past into a powerhouse of success, but Joel's narrative goes beyond mere achievement; it's a clarion call to every man to rise from mediocrity's ashes and confront the pain and unworthiness that binds them.

Strap in for a raw, unvarnished recounting of an ascent from the throes of poverty, where each chapter of hardship forged the relentless entrepreneur within. You'll hear firsthand how turning points can emerge from the most unexpected of places—a garage sale, a chance encounter, a sudden realization—and drive a life towards relentless self-improvement and success. Together with Joel, we dissect the intricate tapestry of our origins and how they shape not just the kind of men we become, but also the legacy we leave behind. This episode is a testament to the sheer grit and determination that propels us towards excellence in all facets of life.

As we draw the curtains on this episode, the essence of brotherhood and mentorship takes center stage. Discover the saga of a humble 31-day challenge that bloomed into a thriving community, the Brotherhood, where men champion each other's growth and integrity. I'll reveal how this collective strength helped me conquer personal fears, overcome betrayals, and find solace in guiding others. Joel and I leave you with an invigorating charge to join the ranks of TheAwakenedMan, where your journey towards a more purposeful, empowered existence awaits.

Key moments:
06:38 Joel's Entrepreneurial Journey: From Trading Cards to Underwear
15:27 The State of Masculinity Today
21:41 Letting Go of Negativity and Embracing Positivity
26:19 Finding Fulfillment Beyond Money
28:00 The Power of Taking Action: A Personal Story
38:28 The Impact of Mentorship and Taking Action
42:51 The Importance of Community and Personal Growth

How to reach Joel:
Website: www.31dailychallenges.com
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/joel.gandara.3
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/joelgandara/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joelgandara/
Book: 31 Days To Become a Better Man

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

You know what I said. There are three kinds of people in this world. There are those that make things happen, those that watch things happen and those that wonder what happened. And sadly, many men today fall into the bottom two categories. How do I know that? Well, I used to be that guy making excuses for and lying to myself for why things aren't happening to me. And so I wonder is it a matter of my upbringing, or could it be something else? Well, today, my guest shatters any notion that upbringing, where you were born, your family or any other excuse is a reason why you're not living to your potential.

Speaker 1: 0:33

And before we get into all that, I know that today has never been more difficult to be a man. And it's become challenging because we feel pain. And this pain for us is real. It's a pain of loneliness and it's a pain of unworthiness that it's masked by our anger and our resentment. It's all because we're uncertain and afraid to take that next step. So if you're tired and fed up with where your life is at, then I'm going to encourage you to start your hero's quest. It's where you can become more, accomplish more and live more than ever before. Just go to memberstheawakenmannet and start your quest today, and with that, let's get on with today's episode.

Speaker 2: 1:12

The average man today is sleepwalking through life, many never reaching their true potential, let alone ever crossing the finish line to living a purposeful life. Yet the hunger still exists, albeit buried amidst his cluttered mind, misguided beliefs and values that no longer serve him. It's time to align yourself for greatness. It's time to become a revolutionary man. Stay strong, my brother.

Speaker 1: 1:41

Welcome everyone to the revolutionary man podcast. I'm the founder of the Awakendman movement and your host, alan DeMonso, so let me ask you a couple of questions. What emotions motivate you? Are they fear, anger, joy, sadness? Okay, now that you have an emotion, how lasting is that a motivation? You know, the simple truth is that it doesn't matter what emotion you think truly motivates you or demotivates you. It's really the story you tell yourself. That is the slingshot that either propels you forward or it doesn't, and so if your life is not shaping up to what you thought it would be, then stick around, because my guest today has a powerful message that I don't want you to miss. So allow me to introduce my guest.

Speaker 1: 2:26

You know, as a kid, joel Ganderas escaped communism on a small boat and for him it was the scariest 12 hours of his life, because he almost died. Joel realized early in his life that hard work, recognizing opportunity and taking action would be the key out of poverty, and by his 30, joel retired as a multimillionaire from other jit businesses, did, he started and grew from nothing. Now, that would be a great story. However, there were some really rough patches along the way, and those stories, plus so much more of what we're going to get into in today's episode. Welcome to the show, joel. How are things brother? Thank you, alan.

Speaker 3: 2:59

Glad to be here, I love what you're doing and I'm glad to be a small part of it. Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 1: 3:04

Well, it could be probably a pretty big part. I just loved your story and getting prepared for today's discussion, and in this podcast we always talk about everybody being honest heroes quest, and you've had quite the quest several quests actually in your life, and so my opening question for you is tell us about that time when you knew things had to change a life experience and that how that really shaped you into the man you are today and the work that you're doing. Yeah, Well, first of all, the way you introduced was very accurate.

Speaker 3: 3:30

I came here on a boat from Cuba, grew up in poverty. When you grow up in poverty, something happens, whether you want to or not. The influences around you aren't quite the best Sometimes because, for whatever reason whether they're poor, immigrants or the people who made bad choices you get stuck in a neighborhood. That's not the best, and I'll give you the the, the irony, the bipolar situation. Today I live in Florida and the United States, and I live in the safest city in Florida. You can leave your doors open. Professional athletes live here, within my gates of my community and throughout this area. You know everybody's very well off. It's beautiful. That's not how it started, though. It started the opposite. You know, just like. I moved to this community 10 years ago, where I live right now, almost to the day and I started seeing ultra marathoners. My next door neighbor is a champion ultra marathoner and that got me running. Well, why? Because I was influenced by what was there. Well, it wasn't like that when I was young.

Speaker 3: 4:28

I grew up in a rough neighborhood by the age of 19. I'd already been to prison to jail my prison, not long term prison, but to jail a couple of times. Why? Because I made stupid decisions because I let my surroundings and my situation control me and tell me that this is it. You know, the richest guy in my neighborhood is that drug dealer on the corner. His name was Beto and Beto was arrested all the time and dealing cocaine, and I saw him run from the cops many times. I saw them raid his house and I thought, well, I don't want to sell drugs, but maybe if I stole some things you know, if I steal from my employer I was a kid, I was stupid and I did those sort of stupid things.

Speaker 3: 5:06

So those are some lows, man. That second time, at 19, when I got arrested, I said what am I doing with my life? My parents didn't teach me this stuff, but I thought this is the only way out of here. Then I go, that's it. No, I'm going to do it the normal way. I'm not going to get rich quick, I'm going to work really, really hard and be smart. And that was the beginning of change, man.

Speaker 1: 5:26

I just love that story there, joel, because really you're just mirroring the surroundings around us and how in the openings I talked about where we can allow our surroundings to influence us either positively or negatively. It's that slingshot where it holds us back, and you were able to recognize it at a very young age. And one of the other things I recognized one of your stories also was you know how you saw the opportunities of these garments, that you were able to turn around and do something spectacular. So tell us a little bit, our audience a little bit about that story and really it's long like it was the catalyst that you're really thinking about how you can get yourself out of the situation you're in. Yeah, so there's always, when you look back at your life, if you write out a lifeline.

Speaker 3: 6:09

I always recommend this. Start at where you first were born, and that's like average, and then highlight over the years as you move left to right. You're highlighting a five years old. This happened at 10 years old, 12, 11 and you pinpoint it. It was a really good event. You mark up top it was really good and then we're all bad at it. It was really good and then we're all bad down low. So I had all of the man. Mine is an all over the place piece of paper. It's crazy, but I had some little moments of clarity and goodness. That happened to me.

Speaker 3: 6:38

Fourth grade I started selling these trading cards and in one month I amassed I thought it was a fortune $50. And I bought myself the biggest robot from the Transformers collection. It was called Omega Supreme. It was a huge base. It costs $50 in the 80s for a poor kid that just come to the country. Four years before.

Speaker 3: 6:57

My parents did not buy me toys at all. It was clothes, food and a roof. They gave me the basics and I appreciate that. So I bought myself toys and that gave me this moment of aha. I could make money in fourth grade.

Speaker 3: 7:11

In high school I sold chocolate candy bars. They cost me $24 cents each and I sold them two for a dollar, so I was doubling my money. And the vending machines in my school were 60 cents. So I beat that machine every day and I net it in my pocket $30 every day. Another good moment. I did that for a full year, year and a half. Another moment of brightness where I go okay, I can do it, I know how to make some money. And then, lastly, it never ends. But the next one was what you led to.

Speaker 3: 7:39

Once I had a car and I could drive, I started going to garage sales and looking to see what people sold and what they had, and never in my neighborhood because that was garbage and the ghetto. I'd go to the nicer neighborhoods and one day magic happened. I found a guy selling underwear, brand new in the package, and these were Jockey brand out of Wisconsin in the US, and they were brand new. And I go what is all this? It was a nice neighborhood. He had Jockey tablecloths, jockey flags and he says these are my samples. I'm a sales rep and I'm allowed to do whatever I want with them. I buy them and then I put on the shows for the big department stores in Las Vegas and they placed a million dollars orders and then I'm stuck with the samples, so I'm allowed to do whatever I want.

Speaker 3: 8:21

He wanted three dollars each. I talked him down to a dollar. I was about 19, 20 years old. My hands were shaking because I'm negotiating with a 40-something-year-old man and I'm not good at it at the time. And I say, sir, if I buy a lot of them, would you lower the price? And he says, yeah, I can go $1.50 if you buy a lot of them. And that's when my hands started shaking. I put them behind my back so he wouldn't see it. And I said, if I bought them all, would you go down to a dollar?

Speaker 3: 8:45

And he said a couple things that I'll never forget. He said you know, I'm standing out here on a Sunday and I'd rather be playing tennis and another. I'm going to tell you another thing. Kid, I got a son your age. He's inside right now. I've offered him for years to take these for free, stand out here or go to the flea market, and he doesn't want to do it because he's inside playing video games. I like what you're doing. Take them for a dollar. So I bought 500 pieces at $500. I went to the flea market a couple of weekends and the $500 turned into $3,000. So I put in my pocket $2,500. At the time I was making $8 an hour in my full-time job and I said this is pretty good. So that was the start of the next part of my life.

Speaker 1: 9:25

Yeah, I just love all those stories. It just goes to show that when you have the right mindset, the right drive, then we can find opportunity where others don't see it. And it's so true, right? And Dad's just not always going to be cool, he's not always going to be the guy you're going to listen to, and so, unfortunately for that, for his son, but fortunately for you, you saw that piece and he saw in you something that really resonated with him, probably when he was a young man, just as you were, and you approached him. I think that's just outstanding. Love that story, joel, thanks, you know. When you think about your life today, though, what stands out most for you?

Speaker 3: 10:01

Hmm, today, well, I do have some reflection. I force myself to reflect on my past for a couple of reasons. I look at where I started and I look where I am, and that gives me two things, you know they. I think it's a fantastic exercise to make a vision board and see what you want to imagine in the future. But for some people who don't have enough gratitude and, by the way, gratitude is the way to cheat to happiness If you figure out the gratitude thing, the happiness comes.

Speaker 3: 10:29

I recommend making the opposite of a vision board and right and make one that shows all the crap you came from, whether it was bad parenting, a bad neighborhood, a broken down car, walking miles because you didn't have transportation, whatever it is. Make that one. I don't have one made up in person, you know physically, but I have it in my head and I'll tell you something I value tremendously. It's the only recollection, it's the only physical, tangible thing that I have from my voyage coming from Cuba as a kid. It's the shirt I wore on the boat. It's in my closet and it's looking right at me when I walk in. Every single day. I walk into my closet. I got all my shirts going one way and I've got one shirt out of place and it's facing me and that's my reminder. Number one look where you came from. You could have grown up in a communist country and had nothing. And number two oh, wait a minute, I'm the only one of about 12 cousins first cousins that is here, so I better make it count.

Speaker 3: 11:22

So I've never visited Cuba. The reason is my mom has. She's gone to visit her mom many times before she passed away recently. But my mom said to me I know you, you're outspoken and you don't like injustices. You're going to speak your mind and you are property of the state. I belong to the state. According to the constitution, I will get arrested. So I don't have an opportunity to go back. I'm not going to sit, you know, stand on my knees. I'd rather die on my feet. So I've never gone. But I'll tell you what. I don't know if you do this with video, but this is the shirt, this is what I wore on the show and it's all I have. It's my, it's my big memory and I get to see it every day. So that's my reminder that I'm here on this planet for a purpose and it's to be the one I was the chosen one to God.

Speaker 1: 12:04

Here I'm going to make it count, man that's outstanding and what I really appreciate about what you're just saying.

Speaker 1: 12:09

There is really, again, for me and doing my work, and especially for my own, my own personal journey, but in helping other men in their journey, it's always about the story and the framework that we put around it, and you could have utilized that shirt as a symbol of something to be sad about, and instead it's a symbol for you, to motivate you and you know really, probably maybe even a sense of pride for where you've come from, because had you wearing that shirt and taking that journey, you know has really led to such great things for you and your family.

Speaker 1: 12:41

What's happening for you today? And that kind of leads me into my next thought, as I was thinking about also about how you know we need a framework to be successful, right, and it's a set of guiding principles that we can lean on, especially in those challenging times, and you just mentioned one of them was gratitude. You also have another one about striving for greatness in everything that we do. So talk about how that guidepost has showed up in your life and how it's serving you today and how that may be serving some of the men that you're working with. Sure.

Speaker 3: 13:12

And another trick, shortcut, cheat to happiness for me is taking action and growing and learning. If every day I learned some little dumb fact, I mean, let's just say that before I started talking to you I did not know that Manitoba was in Winnipeg, right, and I learned that. I like that, I go. Okay, cool, the next guy I meet who's from there, I'm going to say, well, that's part of that's Winnipeg, that's in the province, right, I can have one little bit of information. Right Today I went to hot yoga.

Speaker 3: 13:44

Then I came home, rested a few minutes, I went to jujitsu, so I've been sweating all day. And so I went to hot yoga and I met the teacher and I said you're from South Africa, right, because I took your class once. And that accent. She says, yeah, yeah, I am, and I go. So you speak out for cons. She says, actually, I don't, I'm a British South African. And then I said but you never learned it? But she says, no, I moved somewhere else. And she said I said, where'd you move? She said Swaziland. And I go oh, swaziland, one of the few kingdoms that are left in this world, and it's an enclave within South Africa. And the girl lit up that I knew something about her little country and I said, yeah, I love to learn stuff, right, and so that. Because then I get to talk to somebody and say I'm like, wow, they couldn't, they understand. And the whole class she just kept paying attention to me and giving me, you know, making the fun class afterwards talking to me.

Speaker 3: 14:34

So I love to just keep growing and learning and never being complacent, whether that's financially. I don't chase money the way I used to, because I did that for a long time. It wore me out, it worked, it paid off. But I'm good financially. I want to be the best husband that I can be. I've been married for over 21 years. My wife, my absolute best friend. We have four children. Our oldest is in the army, just joined, and go all the way down to 10. So for my team, down to 10,. I want to be a great father. I want to be a great friend. I want to be a community builder and help people out. Fortunately, I don't have to worry now about the stress of money, so that I can give time and help out, and to me that's it. That's what I'm all about, that's what I'm doing now, that's what brings me happiness, but it's growing every day. Reading books, putting into action the things I read, not just like consuming noise to consume it, but putting things into action.

Speaker 1: 15:24

Yeah, that's beautiful. That's beautiful, Brother. I love that. You know, both of us are in the in the sphere of helping men do doing some men's work, and where everyone does it a little bit differently. So you know, as a from a fellow, you know facilitator of men's work, what are you seeing that's at stake today for men, especially how we're defining masculinity and where we're going and how are you changing that, that those pieces in life?

Speaker 3: 15:47

Yeah. So I think the women's liberation movement early on was good early on, right, give them a, they can speak, right, they don't get abused, right. Yeah, sure, I just think that it's gone to this point, some part of it, and I'm not an expert on that it's gone to this point that we believe that to elevate one group we have to crush the other group. Communism does that, you know. To elevate the poor, we will crush the job producers and the capital. Well then, nobody's going to have anything, right, it's nobody's going to win everybody.

Speaker 3: 16:22

I don't think people are happier today than they were 50 years ago. In fact, I'll probably guess they're probably more depressed, more going toward alcohol, drugs and, you know, anxiety and all the tons of problems. And I think part of that is because, for men at least, look at the suicide rate for men, right, there's a reason for that we don't fit, you know, if we're a manly man, then we're an evil person and we're a bigot and a racist. That I just heard something working out too much is racist, right, and I'm sure it's going to be directed to men, you know, because those are the guys working out and everything is to put these, got you words of racist bigot, this, that Dude.

Speaker 3: 17:01

These guys are just trying to earn a living, have a happy marriage, be a father, have friends. They're just trying to be normal guys and this is what we're wired to be. I don't think that any of us are yelling at women for the way they operate their life right, and I do believe we're different. I believe there are hunters and I believe there are gatherers. I look if I can't find something in the refrigerator or on my desk. No woman, no man can do it better than my wife. Most women are really have tremendous skills and I think we should celebrate now.

Speaker 3: 17:33

A moving person and I can hit him with a football. You and I are gonna do that way better than my wife. Lifting a weight you and I are gonna do that way better than my wife. Now, there are exceptions. There are some women who are strong, but they're not gonna be stronger than the majority of men, right? So what I think is that it's like it's similar and I don't wanna bring too many things into this To me, it's similar to this make-believe game of well, I identify as this whatever today, and so that's what I look. The reality is let a World War III come, let a and I don't want any of these things.

Speaker 3: 18:07

I hate war and I hate all these things. Let a nuclear, a few nuclear bombs happen, we will all go back to where we were meant to be. You know, fortunately I'm in a relationship with the most amazing woman, who is a woman and I am a man. But if it wasn't like that, let war happen, I'll be the one carrying the guns, I'll be the one carrying the weight, she'll be the one taking care of the. You know, we'll all go back to that reality and I think that's what we're all best built to do. Yeah, so I wanna make guys understand that it's okay to be a man, and how best to be a man, then to exercise, then to. I'll just share what I do. Yeah, my testosterone is solid, naturally, why I don't drink alcohol, I don't do drugs, I don't sit and watch TV, I do hot yoga, I train Jiu Jitsu. Five to seven days a week, I lift weights, I run, I stretch, I take care of myself and then I talk to men. I have friends.

Speaker 3: 19:02

This Saturday we did, I guess, in kilometers it might be about 12, 14, 15 kilometers with heavy sacks, and every mile 12 of us went out in the Everglades, in South Florida. We touched alligators, literally large alligators. Next we did pushups every mile. Then we went to lunch and we talked about our lives. That's good, that's acceptable. But on the outside, oh you masculine men carrying heavy weights. Well, life's a little too easy nowadays. So we have to replicate war, we have to replicate struggle, we have to replicate hunting and at the end of that we have a meal together and no alcohol. That's why we roll our micrope, that we get to talk and open up. And maybe some would call that all horrible names, but we like it and we feel good about it.

Speaker 1: 19:47

Yeah, and it's actually healthy, right, it's healthy for how we're becoming masculine and really leaning into it. And I think you know I asked that question especially for guys that are involved in men's work, because there is so much confusion out there. And I think it's been purposely put forward to challenge us, Because when you can be in a state of confusion and wonder, then you become paralyzed. And the moment that we can become clear and in alignment with our values, you know, eliminate the limiting beliefs, the sabotaging behaviors, then we become more true and authentic. And I agree with you with the analogy of the women's movement. I think it was definitely something needed. You know, I remember the old HBO show, the Boardwalk Empire, because it was in around that era when women were first getting to vote and prohibition and all of that. And it's just funny to see the, to listen to the narrative back then and you know how they weren't intelligent and so that needed to happen. But it's gone to a point today where it's very challenging. And you're absolutely right, it's not a teeter-totter, Both can rise together and that's what I, for me, anyways, is part of that.

Speaker 1: 20:53

Doing men's work is about right, raising feminine and masculine together as one hand washing the other, not an and or piece. It's a weak piece. It's a weak piece. And when men as we show up, then that helps, then that gives permission for our wives, our daughters, people around us, to be able to do that as well. And so, really, kudos to you on the development of your men's work, and we're going to get into that in a little bit. You know, during your journey out of poverty, you know some things, maybe even some people are going to have to be left and it might have to be let go. Right, we have to be left behind. So what are some of those things that you recognize in your journey that you just had to, you had to let go of to allow you to flourish and grow as a man?

Speaker 3: 21:40

Oh yeah, look, there are exceptions to everything that I say. You say there's always exceptions, but for the most part, if you have the exact same friends for the last 30 years, something weird there. You know you haven't developed either. You all developed exactly the same. But when I look back at a lot of what was part of my childhood and I could see that through people I used to know through Facebook or visiting I see that people are just stuck in that same lifestyle that our parents had my parents out of no choice of their own. They're poor immigrants. They had to live there and live that life. But we have opportunities to get out of that. And sorry, I got into that thinking and now I don't remember the question.

Speaker 1: 22:22

Yeah, I was just thinking about. You know, as we grow as men, we're growing to stop. There are things that we recognize that we just have to let go, or another way to consider it the thing that maybe it's a belief that no longer serves us, because we've recognized that it's something that's holding us back, and so I just wanted to explore some of those things that maybe you've come across in your work.

Speaker 3: 22:42

So, aside from letting go friends, it just didn't serve me because I wanted to keep improving and learning and maybe they just wanted to do stupid things. That happened to me after getting in trouble with a law at 19 years old, both times with the same friend. That second time was, if I didn't have another conversation with them, cut them out of my life. I went a different direction. That guy kept getting in trouble and a couple of years ago he died. So I'm glad I didn't continue down that road because I would have done the same thing, so that there's friends that definitely got let go. There are still friends that get let go over time. You outgrow and they're great people but you go. Well, I'm on a different level of trajectory of growing and learning and integrity and whatever I'm trying to develop. But I'll tell you something that really changed my life and impacted me. It's a book by a lady named Rhonda Byrne the Secret.

Speaker 3: 23:31

That book changed my life and I'll tell you. I can put it in numbers. When I read it I was making a little over $50,000 a year. Maybe five years later I was making over $1 million a year, and I credit it to that. And why? Because I started thinking differently. I started not saying look, here's a ghetto mindset, a business proposal, a business idea. No, that's not going to work, man, they're just trying to scam you, they're just trying to steal from you. That's a ghetto mindset. It's funny where I live today, nobody says that. Where I live today, people say, oh, that's something worth, that's interesting, let's look at it, let's talk about it. Tell me more. So the Secret, that book did that for me. It got me to start thinking well, wait a minute. Let me not have the little devil on this shoulder saying no, no, no, it's not going to work. I'll listen to the little angel that say give it a shot. Go listen to that person, see what they have to say. What's?

Speaker 2: 24:19

it going to waste 30 minutes.

Speaker 3: 24:21

Give them 30 minutes and let's see what happens. And then, when you hear them out, don't immediately say nope, it's not going to work. Say, all right, I can see how maybe this could work. Let me be positive. I'm not going to go write a blank check for every opportunity that comes along my way, but by seeing things differently, that's what I let go. It's that negativity. And it took a few years of working it, working it, working it. And now I'm told by other people that my default is positive. That's weird, because I wasn't that way. I was Mr Negativity. Now I go yeah, let's give it a shot, let's see what happens.

Speaker 1: 24:52

Yeah, absolutely. I really appreciate that as well, because I think that's one of those things that we recognize in ourselves that we are negative or we choose to not see clearly the whole picture and so I'm always interested to hear the different things that we tend to hold on to and when we recognize that this isn't serving us any longer, then we can actually start to grow and expand. And I love that book as well by Rhonda Burns, I think for me, because I think back to all the books and stuff that I read. The one for me was Aug Mandino's Greatest Salesman in the World. I just loved his little stories in there and the mantras, basically that he had at the end to all the chapters.

Speaker 1: 25:31

And it's been a great, great author for me to have always named. Back on, speaking of authors, you're an author as well. Your book here 31 Days to Become a Better man Level Up in All Areas of your Life. This is a really interesting read. You've got lots of different tips and strategies for us, but how did the book come to be and how is it serving men today?

Speaker 3: 25:51

So everything's got a story Once I built my business and got into it. It sounds quick, cause I could say it in 10 seconds, but it took years of suffering and 12 hour days of making the right decision, making a bunch of wrong decisions. But once it got to a point where it made me a tremendous living that I never would have dreamt of, where in one year I literally made what my parents haven't made yet in this country in all these years, because you know, they made the bare minimum. So once I got to that point I started saying now what's next To me? It wasn't more money. I am so proud to say that I actually found a moment. I had a moment, something happened. But where I go, I don't need to chase money anymore, I'm happy. So what am I gonna do? My next goal was to work less to try to maintain that income. And even I remember telling my wife even if the income slides a little, it's still beyond our wildest dreams. Who cares if it gets cut in half? It's still five, six, 700,000 a year. That's amazing.

Speaker 3: 26:46

So I started volunteering, and the volunteering that I did was with entrepreneurs In every organization at the time that was asking me to volunteer. I'd go give a free talk at a university or at a business group and they'd say can you mentor these groups, can you mentor? And I kept saying yes. And then one day someone said I wanna hire you as my coach, I need you. At my corner he was a dog breeder out of Texas and I said, sure, I mean, I don't know about dog breeding, but the mindset and the business, it doesn't matter what you're in. So I said but I don't need to charge you. To be honest with you, I don't wanna charge you, I don't charge. And he said if I don't pay you, I'm not gonna take your advice. Okay, let's do it. And I remember calling my wife and saying you're not gonna believe this. This guy who I've been mentoring a little bit, he wants to pay me and I'm gonna put it out there. Maybe I'll put a website and maybe I'll make 50,000 this first year. That'll be fun. Well, my first year was 156,000 US dollars and I couldn't believe it. I said I just had the time of my life this year helping people, coaching them, seeing their light bulbs turn on, having them follow up a week later and tell me you're not gonna believe it. I did that stuff and look what's happening. So I was fueled, I was getting pumped up. I was so excited and I've been growing it since then. That was about eight years ago or so. And then what happened? We got the time.

Speaker 3: 28:02

I got an interesting story. Yes, there's a great guy that my wife and I used to go to this massage place and he was a former Army Ranger. He was a medic in the Army and he knows the body and he was a surgery assistant and he was doing massage and he was the best guy there. I told him hey, I did this challenge book and it was phenomenal. It was an X amount of days. You got to do push-ups, you got to do this. It was really good and I recommended it to him. He said, oh, can you lend it to me Next time I went, I took it to him and then I followed up a month later when I went back and I said did you ever do it?

Speaker 3: 28:36

And he goes no, I haven't done it yet. A month or two later no, I haven't done it yet. About a year later, I said, hey, can I get the book back? And he says I don't know what you're talking about. You never lent it to me. This is the guy who most needed this book. It was a challenge series that made you do physical work but then challenge your mind and all this.

Speaker 3: 28:52

So two, three, four years later he calls me back and says hey, we're moving, I'm moving, I'm leaving the area. I found your book and first of all, I would have apologized so much if it was me after I said I didn't have it. Second of all, he couldn't bring it to me. I had to go get it from him. So I drive over there and I go hey, well, good luck, I wish you the best. He took his hand and I said and as I'm walking in my car, I say by the way, did you ever do the book? Did you do the challenge? And he goes no, never did it.

Speaker 3: 29:19

This guy was in a position in life that this would have changed his life had he taken this opportunity that was in his hand. As I'm driving home, I was so upset for him and I said I'm gonna do this book again. I've done it multiple times. I'm gonna do all these challenges again. It's not my book, someone else wrote it. But you know what? I want others to do this and I know my friends are all successful, they're gonna do it.

Speaker 3: 29:39

By the time I got home I was texting every friend, leaving voice messages. By the time I got home, I had like 20 guys. They said yeah, we're in, we're gonna start on this day. Everybody go buy the book. And we're doing it. We did it and these guys were blown away. We formed a WhatsApp group. We did a weekly zoom. In the morning it just started evolving. It wasn't a business, it was all free, just go buy your book. I didn't sell them a book, I didn't need their money. But guess what happened? At the halfway through the first class, guys started saying man, that finance day, that honesty day, that hard conversation day, I'm not gonna give away my 31 days. All those days are changing my life. Can you do a second class? And I go.

Speaker 3: 30:17

Well, you know, I'm dedicating a lot of hours to this and immediately all the guys on the Zoom said I wanna pay for it, I wanna pay, I wanna pay, I wanna. We got 24 guys. They each paid $199. We did class 002. And then from there we just kept developing it. But here's the thing that guy had this book in his hand. How did he have that book in his hand? He had me pushing it, telling him all the benefits. I'm trying to help him. And then there's me, some other guy, just a guy, and I had that book in my hand. Why did I not only start doing that, but now turn it into a very successful business in the last year? This all happened in the last year.

Speaker 1: 30:53

That's outstanding. I just love that. I was looking at a couple of chapters there on it and you're absolutely right. I like the framework that you're putting it together and really you're using this now as a foundation for your mens work, your brotherhood, and really it has an opportunity for it's kind of like the basic training before they get into the SEAL program, like you got to. Really, can you do? At least do this. If you can do the 31 days, then they get an opportunity to become a member. But not only that. What I really like what you're doing with your mens work is they have to still basically interview with the men that come in there. So tell me about how we put all that together, because I think it's so powerful and something different. I've never heard about how other men's work doing and I think it really goes to keeping the integrity and the authenticity of that group. So talk a little bit about your mens work with the brotherhood and all that's coming together.

Speaker 3: 31:50

So when you approach something where it's not a money grab, I'm not just trying to pile in members. I want this. This is my personal inner circle. I am very picky of who's allowed in here. I don't have a negative person in my life. I don't have a drug addict and I don't have any of that in my life. I don't have positivity all ultra successful people. Now some of the people that we've gotten into the brother are not making them a million dollars a year, but I love their character. I love their work ethic, I love their integrity, I love their honor. I want them around me and they'll grow in their businesses or their job and I'll help them.

Speaker 3: 32:22

I lined up interviews from today. I had a call. It was let's go around on the zoom early this morning and tell me what you need, and I wrote a list and I think it's here. I already finished it. Every guy it's here, but I already crossed them all out. Every guy that asked me for something, I connected him. So one needed this type of business connection. I put him in touch with two guys that I coached for a year with very successful businesses, and that's the kind of business he's looking to talk to. Both responded and said yes, let's have a call. And I went down that list and I gave him everything. So I'm here to help people who want to help themselves and who want to. I want to be around. So here's how it happened that second class had a guy who was amazing and he said hey, this has been so successful that you got to build a maintenance program, man. And I said, look, no it's just a class.

Speaker 2: 33:09

We'll do this every 31 days.

Speaker 3: 33:11

Every couple of months, we'll do a class with that guy's book, that other person's book. And then he said, no, no, man, make a maintenance program. And I said, give me your ideas. This is the beginning of a day. And he says so, this group of guys will get together, we'll have zoom calls, maybe bring in speakers, maybe hold accountability things. And he just started brainstorming. By the end of the day, we called it the Brotherhood. By the end of the day, we had the logo designed. By the end of the day, it was on our website and by the end of the day, we had 14 guys from the first and second class sign up and we go whoa and they pay a little monthly fee and all that we do is just bring them value. So 200 and somewhere between 225 and 250 guys finished it this last year 2023, from the beginning of the year to the end. But then now we have 64 men in the Brotherhood With them. You know, from a business perspective, it's a recurring revenue model.

Speaker 3: 34:04

I have one mission in life for no one to quit. And how do I do that? I keep bringing them amazing authors. I've got an American soldier, a Purple Heart recipient, in Afghanistan. His face got blown off. He's been to the White House. He can call Prince Harry on his phone. It's in his book how many amazing people he's built a community with, and here's what's cool. I just love to help. I read the guy's book and, as I'm reading it, I write to him, and he answered my email.

Speaker 3: 34:30

By the way, that's one of the challenges on the days Reach out to people. I'm going to tell you who one of my personal coaches is, who I could pick up the phone and call today. It's Jaco Willink, who's a former Navy SEAL, and I've had 30 minute calls with him, one on one. I've spent five hours with him one day in his podcast studio. This is him and I. That happened because, well, a bunch of things happened, but I reached out. Ultimately, you reach out.

Speaker 3: 34:52

So I reach out to this soldier, israel del Toro. He was actually an Air Force guy in an army group and, humby, I've got blown up and I said your book is amazing, would you present to my brotherhood, to my men's group? Because you got, we got to tell them all to buy the book and get it Out there. And he says you know what? Yeah, I'll be on zoom with you guys. So we set it up.

Speaker 3: 35:11

It's coming up and when I finished that book, he impacted me so much and I thought for him and I just want to help him. And I texted him and said Israel, how can I bring value to your life? Because your book was so powerful to me. The books called a Patriots promise. And he said what do you mean? What do you mean? How can you help me? I go, what do you want to accomplish in life? He said I want to do more speaking. I've been doing a lot of speaking but I want to do more of it. And I said I'll get you a job.

Speaker 3: 35:35

By the end of the week had a $10,000 contract signed with one of the biggest business organizations where I'm a member. I'm a good member in there. So I pushed hard and they said yes, and they signed a contract with them and he's coming down here. And then I asked him I said have one favor. He was so grateful. I said when you come down for that, because it's here in Miami, can you stay an extra day and hang out with my guys? He said absolutely, no cost, absolutely. So isn't it amazing? I didn't do it for that purpose, I just wanted to help the guy and once he I helped them and he's so happy I get he gets to help me. Now I get to hang out with this Amazing soldier who gave everything, almost his life, and that's what my men's working about it's. There's nothing in these challenges that are ridiculous. There's nothing where I tell people alright, you have a fear of jumping out of a plane, tomorrow I'll go jump out of a plane. No, now there is a day.

Speaker 3: 36:20

Day 18 Is conquer your fears. I came here on a boat With rough seas. I have a fear of the ocean. I do so. After I wrote the book which that evolved, people started saying hey, you used to coach me and I like it. Well, you teach this better than this book. Why don't you write a book? So I wrote the book, and Day 18 is about conquering fear. So I hired a psychiatrist, psychologist to work with me on conquering my fear of water. I couldn't tread water for a minute. I can run an ultramarathon, I can run 50 kilometers, no problem, but I can't I couldn't tread water. She got me treading water for a few minutes and About three months ago I got scuba certified and I went out in the ocean, open water, and like down. My first dive was 45 minutes and there I'm not gonna say I conquered my fear, but that's a pretty good start and and that's the beauty that I'm here just to help all these guys, and then I get help too, so it's beautiful.

Speaker 1: 37:12

No man.

Speaker 1: 37:13

I just love that and you know what, maybe we didn't always got conquer our fear completely, but we've been able to embrace it and to face it, and I think that's even more important. Then, whether or not we totally conquered, because it's good it's. It's good to have fear, it's. It prepares us and if we, and when, if we frame it correctly, just like you're even talking about, this whole Conversation today is really about putting that framework around it that allows you to move forward in life instead of staying stuck. Because you know, we say in our work here that we know that men are ready to change when they're ready to take responsibility for where they are.

Speaker 1: 37:46

Because when you look around, everything you have is based on the habits that you've created. So, who you are, that leads into who you are, and that's a bit of a that's a bit of a trick question there. Who you think you are is why you're where you're at. And then who do you aspire to become? You're ready to evolve and ready to let go? You, ready to move forward. Those are the things that we've been talking about all day and you know, as I think, about some of the you know the people that have Crossed your path in your days and know you've given tons of great advice, but other than that, very first that, the example of the, the guy with the with the jockey shorts, he must have had some other great advice given to you, and so tell us about one that's really served you today. It's got contingency through you today.

Speaker 3: 38:29

Oh yeah, I have a lot and I'm very grateful for a lot of people. Today I got a magazine in the mail that I don't even know what it was and I and I throw away things, but I opened it and there was an article that I was. I don't even know who the company is, but there was an article of me and that reminded me. It said in some interview I did that I was being grateful to one of my first mentors and his name is Jeffrey L Jordan and the reason that he is so important to me. Aside from being a friend in the neighbor. He lived up in New Jersey and in the winters He'd spent some time down in Fort Lauderdale near me. And One day I had one of the roughest days in my business and it was that I at the time I didn't own any brands. Later, when I sold my company four months ago, I own 20 brands of underwear, swimwear. I grew that business but before that I didn't own any. I was a distributor for an overseas company. I was importing and Reselling, you know, and selling to stores, but I wasn't a sales rep. I was buying this inventory, putting it in my warehouse, having hundreds of thousands at a time shipping it to stores. I was running the business for them in the US and I learned a lot and I was very grateful. But I got backstabbed and I really did and it hurts so bad.

Speaker 3: 39:40

Once the owner of that brand who I loved the brand I my dream was he's older. One day I'm gonna buy the brand from him. I'll run that back free overseas or bring it over here or whatever and I'll just keep growing it. He visited me for the first time after nine years working together and having a beautiful relationship. He got a little bit greedy and he saw what I built and he saw what I was doing and my money and my and now I have nothing flash yet I don't have anything like that but he saw the warehouse, he saw the employees, he saw the movement and Within a week of that his son started emailing my customers, the stores, and saying hey, if you want to buy directly from us, you can do that, you don't have to go through. Joel and I got about 10 emails all repeatedly forwarded to me instantly at the moment. They sent it, people read it and sent it to all my customers were very loyal to me and they all said this is disgusting. Look at that. They all just had that honor, that they thought that was wrong when they knew what I gave for that brand and you know. So. I Remember I went home early. My employees were all there. I went home and I laid in the for some reason not even in my bed in the guest bedroom, I guess it was right out the garage. I walked in, that was the first room, I laid in that bed and I just couldn't move. I was paralyzed and my wife took at the time we only had two kids.

Speaker 3: 40:55

Years ago my wife went over to the neighbors for a barbecue party that they had there and she came back his two doors down and says hey, jeff says that, why have? Why aren't you coming over? And I said tell him what happened. She goes I did, and he says to come over, come, talk to him. I said I can't talk to anybody, so she leaves. She comes back again. It's only two doors down. She walked back over and she goes. Jeff says he wants to talk to you. He's 11 years older than me, I trust him, I look up to him and he has advice for you. He wants to talk to you about this. He's got something and I dragged myself out of that bed because I didn't want to see anyone and I sat in his office.

Speaker 3: 41:32

We're outside barbecue. But we went into his office and just sat there and he said a few things. I mean very few words and it meant so much change my life. He said those customers buy from you. Right, they know you, you're the one at all those trade shows. It'll Las Vegas four times a year, in New York, a couple times a year in Paris. You're the one doing all this right and you're the one they love and you're the one who visits those clients. You're the one who sends them handwritten letters and and coffee gift cards and and you're the one doing that right. Do they even know those people over there? No, he said, they're gonna buy whatever you sell, build your own brand. And I said oh, I don't know, I, you know, I'm just all the limiting beliefs.

Speaker 3: 42:12

Well, within a month or two, I had a factory and Within a month or two, I placed an $80,000 order. And this was all me. I didn't have the backing of a factory, I was on me. I had to place this order $80,000. Now that I look back, I could have negotiated, start with a smaller order, but I ordered a lot and I started selling it right away and it went really, really well.

Speaker 3: 42:32

In fact, those customers, when I told them what was happening, I said look, I'm building my own brand because of what you saw happen. It makes me sick, I can't believe it's happening. Can I count on your support to buy from me when I develop a brand? That's going to be pretty similar, but legally you can make. You can make that black t-shirt, I can make the black, doesn't matter, I'm going to make something similar. I might get better quality, I'll make it less expensive, I'll deliver faster. Are you okay with switching or are you okay with adding my brand?

Speaker 3: 42:57

And almost all the clients said we will drop that brand when you launch yours. So in the first year we did, in the first 13 months, we hit a million dollars in sales and it just skyrocketed from there. And that was one bit of advice that I could have just Quit. I really would have quit on my own. I probably would have quit that man who I'm staying in touch with. I texted them today when I saw that article because I mentioned it. If he wouldn't have given me that advice, I wouldn't be here today, you wouldn't be talking to me, and that's why I think it's so important for us to have mentors throughout our life.

Speaker 1: 43:26

It doesn't matter at what stage we're at. We always need that mentor and we never know when or how they're going to show up, and so when we're ready to accept and be willing to hear the message, so it's such great things can happen. So thank you so much, joel, for sharing that. I really appreciate it, and you know, I know it sends a message to others that if we pay attention, some really good things happen for us. You know everything that we spoke about today. Maybe there was something that we didn't get a chance to touch on. What would be your one takeaway for our listeners?

Speaker 3: 43:53

Yeah. So if you're stressed out and you have this situation, you're depressed, you have anxiety, stress, whatever all the negative, negative emotions. I have found that the number one way to start chipping away at it. It's a big ball block of ice and it's in your way and you're all you're carrying and it's freezing your fingers. The best way to start chipping away at it is go, take some action, do something, something. I don't care, you know what. Honestly, drop to the floor right now, as you're listening to this, and do 10 push-ups. That's going to accelerate your heart. It's going to get you pumped up. It's going to get something happening.

Speaker 3: 44:35

There's a young man as I, about less than a year ago, I met, and this was amazing. I'll give you a perfect example of how action changes everything. He came in to visit my warehouse and I wasn't there because I really wasn't going in much anymore and he saw the organization and the operation. Not only we run a great warehouse in that business, but we wrote the software that ran the whole warehouse. That's a separate business, now moved it to Toronto and it's going to grow from there. But this guy walked in and said who's the owner of all this? Who runs all this and then my vice president said his name's Joel, you wanna meet him. And he says yeah, I'd like to meet him.

Speaker 3: 45:10

The reason that guy was there we were moving warehouses and he wanted to see the spot for his business. So I come in a week later and I meet with a young man and he says I'd like you to coach me. So I said let's go to the other room and talk a little more privately, went into another room and I asked a lot of questions how do you eat? What's your relationship like with your wife, your daughter, your employees, how's your business? How do you sleep? I asked a lot of nosy questions for a reason and I said when's the last?

Speaker 3: 45:37

time you worked out. He's a thin guy. Didn't look like you've been working out much. He says it's been about a year. I go nothing, you haven't done anything. No, I tore my knee playing football or soccer and I stopped and I said can you do pushups? And he said yeah. I said right now, let's do 20 pushups. And you know he's dressed nice for work and as he said right now, you know, this isn't a gym.

Speaker 3: 45:56

This is we were right now. Let's do 20 pushups. We did them and that young man got up and he looked alive. He didn't look alive when he walked in that door. Well, that guy went through. I coached him for several months, one-on-one. He went through my 31 day program. He's in my brotherhood and he's at another level, I mean absolute another level now, and I want to say that it was from doing 20 pushups, honestly, because something's got to be the catalyst that gets it going. Do those pushups make that phone call? Hey, I want to look into manufacturing and it's called that factory. Google you don't know. Take the first step. You don't know the factory, go on Google. You don't know what to Google. Look around other factories, call them and ask them how to find a factory that does that. Just take one little step and I promise if you just take little steps every day, something will change for you positively.

Speaker 1: 46:44

Yeah, I love that. That's a great message. Absolutely, action is the killer of procrastination. So taking action makes total sense for our takeaway message today. So I just want to say once again, joel, thank you so much for spending time with us today. You spent teaching us what it really means to be men, to be fathers and leaders and to really take that that it's our duty to take care of ourselves and our families and our communities, and so if men are interested in getting ahold of you participating in your work, it won't be the best way for them to do that.

Speaker 3: 47:14

Sure, I'm on social media, but my website is the number three and one, so 31dailychallengescom. If you check out that site, it splits off. It's got a men's site and my amazing wife, who's really got a story cancer survivor, mother of four, registered nurse, delivered a ton of babies, has been through rough stuff. She runs a women's program, so it's on there 31dailychallengescom.

Speaker 1: 47:37

Absolutely. I'll make sure that information is in there in the show notes, as well as any other social places that you're hanging out, so guys can get ahold of you. Thank you so much, joel, for doing some wonderful work and doing great stuff, and I really appreciate it having you on the show today.

Speaker 3: 47:49

Thank you, Alan. I'm glad you're doing what you're doing. Keep it up, man. Let's go get ready.

Speaker 2: 47:56

Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go. Thank you for listening to the Revolutionary man podcast. Are you ready to own your destiny, to become more the man you're destined to be? Join the Brotherhood that is theAwakenedMan at theAwakendMannet you.