From Compton to the White House: A Story of Mentorship, Leadership, and Destiny

Have you ever considered the twists and turns of life that take us from the throes of adversity to the pinnacles of achievement? This conversation is a riveting exploration of such a journey, as Darrell Williams joins me to recount his ascent from Compton's hardened streets to the esteemed halls of the White House Communications Agency. Together, we peel back the layers of masculinity, leadership, and the importance of mentorship in shaping the men we become. My own transformation from a struggling newcomer in a challenging city to attaining heights as an Olympic caliber chef pales in comparison to the stirring narrative Darrell presents, offering not just a story but a roadmap for anyone grappling with life's crossroads.

We delve into the intricacies of leadership beyond the crisp uniforms and strategic commands, extracting the essence of true connection and the impact it has on a team's spirit and deliverables. Darrell enlightens us with anecdotes from his 20-year military career, demonstrating how the delicate balance of task accomplishment and team care guarantees productivity and success. The lessons learned are universal, transcending the realm of military discipline to resonate in the hearts and minds of leaders and aspirants in all walks of life.

As our episode winds down, a profound realization crystalizes: The power to own our destiny is not just in our hands, but also in the hearts we inspire along the way. Darrell's dedication through Alliance Seminars Coaching echoes this sentiment, fostering a sense of purpose and service in others. The insights and wisdom shared in this dialogue are a testament to the indomitable human spirit and an invitation for you to reflect on your path and the legacy you choose to create.

Key moments in this episode:
02:36 From Compton to Leadership: Darrell Williams' Journey
12:21 Faith and Ethics in Professional Life
15:09 Alliance Seminars: Leadership and Purpose
24:41 Advice for the Next Generation
33:01 Closing Thoughts and Contact Information

How to reach Darrell:
Website: https://www.allianceseminars.org/
YouTube: https://www.whitehousecommsagency.mil/portals/106/Documents/Video/Recruiting_Video.mp4
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/allianceseminars
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/darrellwilliams/

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Are you one of those guys that grew up on the other side of the tracks? You know that side where only the brave venture and many get stuck in. It's also a place that builds character, or should I say, reveals it, and regardless of where we started from or how we deal with life, it's how it's shaped us, by our role models and our vision for a better life. Well, today, my guest has a story that shatters any notion of allowing where you start in life and has little bearing on where we, where we actually ultimately end up. And you bet, it's a story straight out of Compton.

Speaker 1: 0:31

And before we get into all that, I just wanted to know that being to a man today has never been more challenging, and so if you feel that pain, like I do, then you know that there's a pain of loneliness and, at times, of unworthiness, and it's masked by our anger and our resentment. And what I found is that it's masked by those because we feel that we are uncertain about the next phase of our life and we're afraid to take that next step. And so if you're tired and fed up with where your life is at, I'm going to encourage you to participate and start your hero's quest. It's an opportunity for you to become more, accomplish more and live more than ever before. Just go to membersthewakenmannet and start your quest today. With that, let's get on with today's episode.

Speaker 2: 1:15

The average man today is sleepwalking through life, many never reaching their true potential, let alone ever crossing the finish line to living a purposeful life. Yet the hunger still exists, albeit buried amidst his cluttered mind, misguided beliefs and values that no longer serve him. It's time to align yourself for greatness. It's time to become a revolutionary man. Stay strong, my brother.

Speaker 1: 1:45

Welcome everyone to the Revolutionary man podcast. I'm the founder of the Awakened man Movement and your host, alan DeMonso. Let me ask you something how did the neighborhood that you grew up in shape you into who you are today, and has it served you or has it hindered you? You know, I can remember in my youth moving to a larger city and I was actually going from grade seven to grade eight, and those first few years were really hard. I was a new kid in town, so I found myself in more schoolyard fights than I care to remember. And then something happened. As high school came along, and, being pretty decent in sports, there was no need anymore for me to prove who I was, prove who I was, and so this experience for me really shaped my thinking about what it takes for somebody to step up, or for myself to step up. And while I'm proud of my accomplishments as an Olympic caliber chef, my guest today has an even more impressive story. So allow me to introduce my guest.

Speaker 1: 2:38

Daryl Williams is an inspirational speaker and a certified facilitator and life coach who provides clients with expertise in the realm of leadership, relationships and purpose. His leadership background includes 30 years of the federal service, highlighted by his induction into the White House Communications Agency Hall of Fame. He's got a 20-year military career where he's led over 500 White House missions using the following strategies from September 11, 2001. And so, because of that, he was selected as one of five key leaders to direct emergency action communications for the vice presidents of the United States, including duties on the Air Force Two command representative. Tanya, we have a powerful guest here today. Welcome to the show, daryl. How are things, my friend?

Speaker 3: 3:24

Alan, thank you for having me. I'm so glad to be here and looking forward to our conversation.

Speaker 1: 3:29

Yeah, right on Me as well, just really looking forward to this conversation and, as you know, we're here at the Revolutionary man. Our opening question is always going to talk about that story of our life, about the time in our life how it shaped us into who we are today. So tell us about that time in your life when you knew things had to change. What did you go about, what did you go about doing about that, and how has that shaped you into the man that you are today?

Speaker 3: 3:54

So great opening question. For me, it definitely started growing up in Compton, california. For those that saw the movie Boys in the Hood, that's the timeline that I grew up in, and then my two brothers and sister grew up during the timeline of Straight Out of Compton. So just being in that environment and then me being the oldest Alan, it really kind of put it on my shoulder like, hey, I need to make the right decisions, I need to model what success can look like, because what we're looking at in the streets was not a clean version of success a lot of gang violence, right, a lot of drugs. It was a real deal there and you had to make some decisions. And one thing I always tell people that a lot of times where you grow up, it really does build the character in you. If you pay attention, not focus on the negativity, but look at what can you learn from those situations. And that's what I did. I kind of learned from those situations. I kept my head on a swivel, always paying attention to what's around me, and then I had to make that decision.

Speaker 3: 4:53

Probably my 11th grade year. It's like what am I going to do with my life? We didn't have, you know, not even a lot, but you know rarely any money growing up and I knew my grades were okay, but they weren't ready for college. So for me, I ended up joining the military and I didn't have any family members in the military that I knew of. But once I decided to join I reached out to a couple of them just to get their experience and running.

Speaker 3: 5:16

Things came from two of my cousins which was don't just join to join, but find out why you want to be in there, find out what you're really good at and then make it a career. Because both of them had gotten out right after their first enlistment and they both said it was, you know, the worst decision that they made, because they really should have followed you know the path to where it was going to lead them. So I wrote into the military already, knowing that I was going to stay for a while. I didn't know if I was going to retire at that time, but I knew I was going to get in and just get out. And the military really gave me the discipline, the leadership, taught me about mentors and accountability, and it really did propel me to a future that I could have never imagined.

Speaker 1: 5:59

Wow, man, I was just taking a bunch of notes there. I just think you had some really, some really key points that I want to go back and touch on that. One of the first ones you talked about is being being the oldest and having to, you know, feeling that you needed to be that role model and and and show what it, what it means to be successful. And I'm the oldest as well. In my family we have five, five of us and so I just want to touch on, take a little bit more time about that and think about how that experience and that that childhood experience as being the oldest, did you feel that there was lots of pressure on you to do that and and and? If there was, how did how were you handling it?

Speaker 3: 6:34

Great question. For some reason I didn't feel any pressure, I guess because I had a lot of friends who were the oldest and, being in that neighborhood, you know we knew that okay, you know we didn't want our brothers just to get caught up in the gang violence and when our brothers or sisters get caught up in the drugs. So it was just to me just one of those things, it was just an accepted responsibility. It was like I'm going to be that person. And then even in my regular family I had an uncle that was really good. Has you some, you know, good job? I had a cousin that was an accountant but it really was far and few, you know, as far as a lot of role models there.

Speaker 3: 7:10

And you know I went to Compton, high Allen. So at that time that was, you know, fourth most dangerous city in America and the school lived up to the hype. I mean, people hated playing us in football games because after the game if we lost, they would shoot up in the air, not at anybody, but just shoot up in the air. And if they won they may shoot up in the air. So you didn't have a lot of people that would come and say, hey, I'm going to go to a career day at Compton High. So for me it was like okay, if I don't see it, you know, then what can I do to kind of be you know.

Speaker 1: 7:39

Whatever that model should have been, Absolutely Really it sounds like in as being the firstborn we're we're almost pioneers in a way, because we're shaping our family. We really have an opportunity to reshape our family's destiny. We can choose to repeat generational traumas and challenges or we can try to reshape that. And you know, and I know, there's lots, of, lots of people who listen to the show that are the firstborn and and they may not be as fortunate and may still struggle with that, and so you're having you on today and to talk about, you know, the upbringing. That's why I thought it was so important in the intro to talk about this transition, because you went from Compton and now you went and you then you transitioned into be a White House communications agency. Tell us how all that came about and how that changed your life.

Speaker 3: 8:26

So in the military they have what they call special assignments. Right, you know, you have the regular units that you normally go to the Fort Braggs, the Fort Hoods of the world but then I didn't realize that there are these things called special assignments, where they take people that are very mature, people that they believe are self-motivated, and you go to places such as the Pentagon. And the weird part, alan, is I was going to these military competition boards, you know, trying to make a name for myself, trying to separate myself from the crowd, and the senior leader pulled me to the side. It was like hey, I think there's something inside of you that is a little bit bigger than just going to the normal units and I'm going to change your order from Fort Hood and go to the Pentagon. And this is where a lot of us make mistakes. Sometimes we have in our mind what we think is important and where we think we want to go, but life has a way of putting you on a trajectory that is like follow this path and it's going to give you greater satisfaction. So, as much as I would like to say I loved going to the Pentagon, I hated it. I tried to get out of it a couple of times, but luckily there were some leaders that saw through my knucklehead and said no, no, you're not going to something lower than what you're already at, and even at the Pentagon.

Speaker 3: 9:37

A friend of mine and I went to a recruitment session where they were looking for people to join the White House Communications Agency. And it was a Friday, alan, I went there just to get out of work. I had no idea what they did, what the organization was about, and then I got accepted. And then, once I got accepted, I was like, ok, now I need to get serious about this. And once I got there, I immediately looked for people that reminded me of me, came from different areas, and like, okay, how did you get here? And then what did you do to stay here?

Speaker 3: 10:08

Because when I went, there was one of those situations where if you made a mistake, they would send you back to the regular service, whether it was army, navy, air force, and we didn't have the marines. So it was like I don't want to leave because again, right, I'm the oldest. I don't want to show that I couldn't make it. I don't want want to disappoint my neighborhood Like, oh man, these guys from the streets and the hood. They can't make it any type of environments. So again I put another you know chip on my shoulder. It's like, hey, I want to be the best person that I could be that ever came from Compton and show them that they didn't make a mistake.

Speaker 1: 10:38

Yeah, absolutely, and it's obvious that that, that you approve that in spades for sure, that you approve that in spades for sure. So tell you know. So that was. That's a great story about you know, coming from that upbringing to where you are today. But if you, as you think of your life today, in this moment, what's alive and real for you right now?

Speaker 3: 10:53

What's alive and real for me right now is I have to pay it forward. Like you don't spend 15 years at the white house serving three presidents, three vice presidents, flying on air Force Two and not learn something, but, most importantly, figure out how do you take what you learned and then pour that back into you know whether it's other men, other young people growing up, husbands, right who may be struggling with you. Know how do I lead my family? And just learning all those different things and trying to meet people where they are in their life. And that's the part that I love about my story, because people rarely find out. It's normally after the fact. They're like wait a minute, I didn't know you were in the army or I didn't know you worked at the white house. I'm like, well, that's not important right now. What's important is, you know you're a husband that's trying to get some feedback on how to be a better husband, right, or parent, and that's the role that I need to play right now.

Speaker 1: 11:46

Yeah, absolutely For sure, and I think that's always a key. We come to that point in our life where we recognize that we've had advocates that have supported our growth and when we were that, as you said, that knucklehead, we weren't able to see the forest or the trees and get that guidance. And then, when we have that opportunity to do, to pay that forward and to help guide those individuals as well. And, and so when I think about your story, you know there's something that you know that we, that we talk a lot about here at the awakened man is one of our foundational virtues is that of of the having a spiritual life. So tell me how faith played a role in your career and the work that you're doing as well.

Speaker 3: 12:26

It's really amazing. When I joined the military, and especially working at the White House, you know there's a lot of things that they tell you what not to do, right? Because, again, when you work in a place like that, you become a target for a lot of things that you're not even aware of people trying to gather information or things of that nature. And what I found, alan, was my faith automatically put me in a position to do well in that environment, because my faith was higher than my ethics. So it was like, oh, you're telling me not to cheat and not to, you know, get off Air Force Two and try to find a woman in every town or every city. I'm okay with that, because my faith is going to keep me from doing that anyway, because I'm supposed to build up and not tear down. So my faith was really great. I mean, don't get me wrong, I went to a lot of clubs. But you know, back in the day, because going to a different city, you're like, okay, man, I'm at the same club that you know, football players and basketball players are hanging out at Right. But also I realized like, hey, I'm in this town where and I found out out, in every city that I went to there was a neighborhood like mine, right? Unfortunately the neighbors moved out, so it was just a hood, right.

Speaker 3: 13:37

So I would find myself going to the front desk at the hotels and say, hey, there are a school or a church in the area that you know, maybe dealing with some challenges and could use somebody to be a guest speaker. And it was so funny. People like, well, aren't you here for a White House visit? I'm like, yeah, but I still have a couple of days left and I need to do something positive in this city. And I would always find either a church, whether it was a weekend or during the week. Maybe it was a school that you know.

Speaker 3: 14:06

Back then it wasn't as structured. So you know, you reached out ahead of time, you know you can get there on a Friday and, just you know, be a guest speaker for one one period. And that part was really good for me because, again, you can't do those types of things. If you're selfish, right. If you're unethical, you're trying to get over on somebody or figure out some way to do something you know ridiculous. So by me trying to accentuate the positive, again, my faith automatically lined me up to do those types of things.

Speaker 1: 14:35

Absolutely. I think when we recognize that we're grounded with faith and that we allow that and I really like how you put that your faith was higher than your ethics and, uh, we move from between a spiritual perspective versus an individual perspective and and that it's when we can recognize that we have something greater than us, that, like that, that really resides with us, that we can do much better things and do things better. And I think what you're doing now with the, with your work, and one that leads me into getting into your work now you have a company called alliance seminars.

Speaker 3: 15:12

Tell us a little bit about the alliance seminars, how it came to be, what it is that you focus on, and and what people and what to what to its primary goal is so alliance seminars coaching is, you know, really, basically it's a veteran-owned, faith-based organization that provides coaching services, keynote speaking speaking and certified workshops, and it really came about by, again, all this experience that I had in the military, this great leadership training that we would get for free, right Just every grade that you got promoted to. You had to go to a leadership class or leadership training and I'm like, oh my gosh, these valuable lessons I need to take this back to the streets because there's people that's struggling and they don't know what leadership looks like. So when I retired out the military, I started the organization just wanted to again, just a little way of giving back. And then, as I started focusing on schools, I eventually started working more on adults. So my wife, she coaches women and then I coach the men and then if we do something on relationships, we may do a tag team that way.

Speaker 3: 16:14

And then I work with organizations as far as their leadership, because I found that regardless of what type of business you're in, you have to take care of your people. You still have to create a positive culture and you have to retain talent. So there's no better formula out there to do that than outstanding leadership. So I would just bring a lot of those lessons learned from the military and I try to apply it and the clients that have me come in and speak.

Speaker 3: 16:42

And one thing I always love when people say, well, we can't do that here because you were in the military and they had to do what you said, because you were in the military and they had to do what you said. And I would tell them, alan, that although they had to do what I said, that doesn't necessarily mean they brought their best to the table every day. For them to bring their best to the table, I had to be a better leader. I had to challenge them, motivate them and show them what's in it for them. And those are the types of things that I try to bring to organizations.

Speaker 1: 17:09

I love that, especially that last part. I think that when we think about as men in this podcast focuses on men when we're in leadership roles, we will have a component of our role where we feel, and our employees feel, that it may be a have to, but what you're really saying is we need to approach that in a much broader perspective and in a wider piece, right Looking at it from how can we even though they have to do it how can we increase that engagement doing it? Because I have to, yeah, it gets done, but how well does it get done? And then, how and to what level of success do you want to achieve? And I think it's so much more. And so this training that you've had from from the military and, and you know, even just doing the work through through the White House communications, I can well imagine that there must have been some pretty challenging times during those, and so tell us a little bit about that, about, maybe, what was your most challenging travel mission and how you've used those lessons to what you're doing today.

Speaker 3: 18:11

One thing anybody that served at the Washington KJC will tell you the most challenging season is a presidential campaign. I mean, you're talking about Alan. From the time that president in office, I work for Democrats and Republicans, so it doesn't matter. I always tell people, you know, I support the office, not the person. But man, those campaigns are brutal. You find yourself, you know, because everybody sees office, not the person. But man, those campaigns are brutal, you find yourself, you know, because everybody sees them on TV going from city to city and they don't realize there's a group behind the scenes that's setting up all that equipment, packing it up, putting it in the next city, and what happens is you still have a regular life. That's going on. You have people whose wives are pregnant. You have people whose kids are sick, right. You have people that the kids are having trouble at school because, hey, dad's been gone for so long or mom's been gone for so long, and you know I'm acting out. So for me, those challenges were how do I get my team to focus even though there's a lot of distractions going on, because I still need them to bring their A game going on, because I still need them to bring their A game. You know, in a job like that, when you make mistakes, like I tell people, it's one of those few jobs where you make a mistake. The whole world knows and you might not get that name in the news, but, trust me, when you get back to the agency, they're looking at the list of who was on that trip, who's responsible for that mishap, what happened, are they new? Did they make a mistake? So I would always preach those type of things to the team Every time we got to a place and say, hey, I know this is your third trip and you know, three weeks you haven't been home.

Speaker 3: 19:36

I know we have a lot to do, but I need everybody to take tomorrow off. And they're like no, no, no, what do you mean? We got to hurry up and set this up. I said, no, you need to pause. Make those phone calls, those of you that are in school, catch up on your homework and then tomorrow we'll hit it hard. Right, we'll do this. And those type of things help the team realize hey, here's a leader that's not worried about. Hey, make me look good. Right, let's get this set up right away. Let's work 12 hours even though you just got to the city. No, no, no, let's pace ourselves. We're going to be great. We're going to be great. We're going to do well. It's already inside of us. We just need to focus on. What are those things? That's going to help us to maintain that.

Speaker 1: 20:15

I love that. What I really appreciate about that is you're really diving into, you know, really knowing your people right and knowing the people that work for us, and I think that's really the transition we're seeing in leadership, even more so today. That servant and I like to look at it as an observant leader. It's one thing to serve and be there and available for them, but are we observing about what's going on? Does? Does Alan need that? Is he just off a little bit today? You know, is he performing like I'm normally used to see him? Is Daryl on today or is he off a little bit? And I think when you have leaders that recognize that and recognize to and and make that time to be able to give back to them, man, to me, I think it would only make sense that the productivity and the success is virtually guaranteed because they know that you care about them.

Speaker 3: 21:03

Oh, that's a great point. Real quick story. I had one of my trips were going on and I was picking up a team that had already jumped. We called it jump, meaning you didn't go back to DC, but you jumped from one state to another state, to another state, and I remember my radio lead was saying hey, I have a guy on my team. He's making a lot of mistakes. I'm going to have to check behind him twice. I just want to give you a heads up right now in case you want to write him up. I'm like whoa, wait a minute. I haven't even met the gentleman yet. You know, let's give him a chance. He's like, I'm telling you, you know the guys keep screwing up and you know, true to form, he made a mistake.

Speaker 3: 21:35

This is before the, you know, the president showed up and I went to the guy and said hey, let's meet after. You know work in my office. And he that maybe we're not aware of, and he basically was like you know, nobody ever asked me. That I'm like, well, I'm asking because everybody else could have had some different reasons, doesn't mean they didn't care about you. They just didn't get to that part yet. But I want to give you this opportunity.

Speaker 3: 22:03

And then, alan, he opened up and told me that his wife was pregnant. He was only supposed to do two jumps and he told his wife I'll be back after that second trip. And then operations took over and they couldn't send him back. So he was dealing with the stress from his wife of when are you coming home? You know, I'm close to having this baby. We're so prideful, we don't want to let people down, so we will suck it up and we will generate and take all the heat rounds from our spouses or our children, knowing that it's not us, but it's us not letting anybody else find out that I can't do my fair share.

Speaker 3: 22:47

So when I told the individual that you know about his wife, I said hey, man, I appreciate you being honest. I know your first sergeant back in the rear. I said so if it's okay with you, I'm going to call him. He's like no, no, I don't want anybody to think I can't do my part. This is a campaign, right, we're all out here, everybody's traveling. I said I get it, I get it.

Speaker 3: 23:00

I said but guess what, we're early into the campaign, right, we're still going to need. I'm not going to say anything about you know you making mistakes, because that's irrelevant, right, there's a reason for the mistake, that's just. I'm going to tell him that. You know you did a good job, you were honest here, and we just need to allow you to go back to take care of some things and then, should the baby come, and we'll get you on the back end toward the end of the campaign. How does that sound?

Speaker 3: 23:25

Because I had to get his buy-in out. I couldn't make it sound like it was my idea. You know I had to say, hey, we all need to refresh in a certain way. You know, tell me what you think about that and again, it won't be in a negative way at all. As a matter of fact, I'm going to tell him the truth. You didn't want to go back, but I pulled rank and said you know, I just think in the long haul, in the long run, it's going to be better for him just to go back, refresh and then get back out here. And the guy thanked me for it. He went back, the wife had the child. He was able to stay home for a little while, but then the family was able to come in right after a little period of leave and then he was able to get back on the road. But the difference Alan was, this time he was in a better mindset.

Speaker 1: 24:05

Yes, man, love that, just love that. And we had an opportunity to spend some time with our folks. We can really uncover some real gems there, and I would imagine that this individual probably turned out to be one of your top notch employees for this particular campaign, and that's what you're looking for. You want to find that way to pull it out of them and get them really to rise up. And so that leads me to thinking about you know, you're really're really good, obviously, at leadership and you do a lot of training and all that. But if we had some young people that were listening to our podcast and we do, we have some 20 somethings that listen to the podcast what would you tell that young person growing up who maybe cannot see a future outside of their surroundings? What can they do? How, what, what advice would you give them?

Speaker 3: 24:50

I love this question, so three things I would share with them. First, I would ask them to identify what they're good at. I've had so many young people say well, I'm not good at anything. I'm like no that's not true.

Speaker 3: 25:00

You might not have realized it yet, but let's go back and really look at what you've done in life. So I would tell them you know, identify what they're good at, which is their passion. And then I would tell them, if they're not in a situation where they have to make a lot of money right away, pause and look in your neighborhood and your community and see what type of need is out there. And then I tell them to match that passion with that need, because that will equal up to your purpose. That formula has always worked for me. It's worked for people that I've shared it with. It may take them a while to find it, but they'll eventually come back to me and say, hey, I did what you said, I thought about it and it worked, and now I'm this, or now I'm in this industry or that career.

Speaker 3: 25:41

The second thing I would tell people is collaborate with a mentor to help you focus on what's important. So many times, especially as men, we just want to do things by ourselves. We think we have to figure it out on our own. We've got to come up with all the answers in 24 hours. Stop putting that extra pressure on yourself. Don't do it. Talk to a mentor. Everybody says, well, how can I find a mentor? And I tell everybody, mentors are all around us. We just have to pause long enough to go, wait a minute. That gentleman at the store every time I come, that older gentleman always tries to share advice with me. Maybe I need to go back and really just spend some time with that gentleman, right?

Speaker 3: 26:18

And then the third thing is identifying accountability partner to keep you honest to your goals. All right, accountability partners are different from mentors. This is somebody that's close to you. They're not just going to tell you what you want to hear, but they're going to validate what you told them and say hey, alan, you told me in three months you wanted to start a podcast. What are you doing? Are you doing the research? All right. Are you identifying the equipment that's needed? Are you identifying a platform? That accountability partner is going to hold you to what you said. And then, once you do it, you're like man, that guy's a pain in the butt. But I'm so glad they did it, because now I'm doing this great podcast helping men and, for once, for my accountability partner, I probably wouldn't have got to this stage, this quickly.

Speaker 1: 27:02

I just love those, those three pieces, and especially how you broke up, broke that first one out and just wrote that formula down. You know, matching our passion for life with the need, with the need, gives us our purpose out. It's so simple, yet so profound. I think that was outstanding Well done. You know, if you're I'm I'll just make a wild guess here and I think you know, through your course of your life, you've probably read one or two books in your life and I just wanted to know, is there a book that really was profound for you, that really, you know, really gave you that aha moment? And if there was one, you know what was the name of the book and what was that aha moment.

Speaker 3: 27:38

Definitely In the military. They always tell you if you're not learning, you're not reading. If you're not reading, you're not learning. So they pounded that be a better leader, you have to read. And it's so funny one of the simple books that I read a long time ago was a book called who Moved my Cheese.

Speaker 3: 27:53

People said, no, not that little book. I'm like, yeah, they're like why is that book so important? Because it talked about change and as a leader, as a father, as a husband I don't care who you are you have to change in your life and if we don't change, we miss out on so many opportunities. So that aha moment for me really was the book who Moved my Cheese. And everybody's like, no, that's a baby book. I'm like, hey, it's a baby book, but it has some grown up purposes in there and life lessons. And I say, and you can read it at any time in your life and I guarantee there's something going on in your life where you have to change or you have to get ready for a change, and that book can really, in a simple way, go man, somebody moved my cheese and I'm sitting here waiting instead of going out there and trying to figure out, find the new cheese.

Speaker 1: 28:41

Oh man, I love that book. I haven't looked at that one in a little while. I think I'm going to pull it out and just go give it another once over, because you're absolutely right, it's just a small book, but it's. The lesson is so profound because we tend to, as people, get stuck in our own story or negativity. It's so easy to be there and when you recognize that yeah, somebody just moved my cheese, I can make a choice. I have choice how I want to show up, and so I always like asking that question to my guests, and it's interesting to see what comes up of them. You know, in your career you must have all. Obviously you've worked with lots of lots of different individuals, different leaders and different stages of your life. But what would you say is the best piece of advice that you were given, and how has that served you today?

Speaker 3: 29:22

the best piece of advice that you were given and how has that served you today? The best piece of advice that I received from one of my greatest mentors his name is Steve Smith.

Speaker 3: 29:29

I always try to say his name whenever the time comes, because he was just so influential in my life. And one thing Steve told me was well, regardless of what's going on in somebody's life, there's always a story behind it. He says so never judge somebody based on the results that you see at that moment. He was like the good leaders they dig deep and they find out. You know, hey, what's going on? What's going on? And if they don't want to share it, just let them know that you know you still got faith in them and if there's something that's going on, you're available whenever they want to talk about it. And he just told me that when you do that, you build trust right and you allow people to realize that you know here's a leader that actually cares about me and not just the mission.

Speaker 3: 30:17

And I've done that in every place, you know, when I retired and working for the government. I still use that type of mindset and it's so interesting because you have so many people nowadays, you know, saying that you know they can't understand a certain generation and you know they don't want to do it the way we did it. But when I talk to them that way, I find that I'm connecting with, no matter if somebody that's been in the government for a long time or somebody that's junior, and people will come to me and say, hey, how are you able to talk to so many young people? I'm like, I just use this simple philosophy I don't judge them, I don't I hate the phrase back in my day, like those type of things, it just turns people off and I just try to make myself open. So if they do want to talk, right, I'm there to help them.

Speaker 1: 31:06

I had to chuckle, because I catch myself saying that phrase more often than I care to. I sound more like my father Right, and people really don't really care about what it was like back in the day, because they're dealing with today, and so how can we show up for them today and not yesterday? You know, daryl, everything that we spoke about today, and maybe there was something we didn't get a chance to touch on what would be the one takeaway you'd like our listeners to have?

Speaker 3: 31:34

I really want people to understand that life's challenges really do groom us for our greatness and I ought to say it again, life's challenges really do groom us for our greatness. I know that's hard for some people, like what are you talking about? I just lost my father, I just lost my mother, I just got fired. And if we just pause just enough and not react so quickly with the negativity, you will find there's somebody there that's going to help you get through that. You're going to find that that job that you thought you liked, you're like man, I really didn't like it and this gave me an opportunity to do something that I'm really passionate about.

Speaker 3: 32:12

So a lot of times, you know, it's those crossroads in our lives that really allow us to spring forward to something better. So I would just tell people you know, don't look at life's challenges as, oh, life is out to get me or I must have did something wrong and I'm paying for it. Now it's like no, no, no, no. All of us go through challenges. The key is how do we react to those challenges? And again, if we pause just enough and not be so quick to try to fix it, but really just take our time and look at what's going on around us, you just may find something a little bit better than what you had before the challenge.

Speaker 1: 32:46

That's fantastic. I like the idea, the visual of the crossroads and we have so many of them in our life, right, and we get to define and change our direction or our lives, if we're if that when that crossroad comes up, and so what a great piece of advice to leave everyone with. So I just want to say thanks a lot, Darrell, for spending time with us today, and you know, I really learned that it doesn't really matter from where we come from. We really do have a choice in our lives, don't we? And so if men were interested in getting a hold of you and participating in your work and your programs, what would be the best way for them to do that?

Speaker 3: 33:18

Sure, they can reach me on Facebook through Alliance Seminars Coaching. They can also reach me on my website, which is AllianceSeminarsorg, and they can also catch me on LinkedIn as well, because, again, my whole life, or the rest of my life, is really about serving others. So many rewards that it's not just about the tangibles, but it's those intangibles that you'll find yourself, especially as a man, because we're created to solve problems and lead and things of that nature. Whether you're married or not married, you're still leading someone or some opportunity to lead somebody, even if it's leading yourself. And I just say that being able to help people get to whatever their next is very rewarding.

Speaker 1: 34:03

Love, love that. So once again, thank you so much, my friend, for being on the show.

Speaker 2: 34:07

Loved our conversation thank you for having me thank you for listening to the revolutionary man podcast. Are you ready to own your destiny, to become more the man you are destined to be? Join the brotherhood that is the Awakened man at theawakenedmannet and start forging a new destiny today.