The Quest for Value-Driven Prosperity and Personal Fulfillment

Imagine hanging up your work boots, not just to watch the years roll by, but to embrace a chapter of life brimming with intention and fulfilment. Chad Hufford, a man whose journey from the peak of athleticism to the brink of mortality, joins us to share the wisdom that transcends the typical retirement chat. In this heart-to-heart, we confront the silent battles many men grapple with—loneliness, and feelings of unworthiness—and we dissect how these internal struggles often disguise themselves as anger and resentment. It's about more than a hefty retirement account; it's about crafting a rich life that resonates with your deepest values.

Retirement is redefined here as a time of purpose, not an end but a launchpad into a life where work becomes optional. We explore the pillars of a truly abundant existence—community, purpose, and staying engaged. By prioritizing health and relationships, we illuminate a path where financial security is the foundation upon which a meaningful life is built. As we navigate this terrain, we underscore the essence of gratitude and generosity, proposing these virtues as the real currency for a successful and fulfilling life.

In this exchange with Chad, we also tackle the financial side, bringing to light how our emotional ties to money can shape our futures. We delve into the significance of aligning our inner values with our economic strategies, transforming the quest for wealth into a journey towards personal enlightenment. We provide actionable insights, encouraging listeners to connect with Chad's work and join the Awakened Man community for further growth. This isn't just a conversation; it's a stepping stone to a life where every sunset is richer than the last.

Key Moments:
03:28 Chad's Life-Changing Experience with Carbon Monoxide Poisoning
09:19 Retiring on Purpose: Shifting the Retirement Mindset
15:15 The Importance of Mindset in Achieving Financial Freedom
16:48 Forging Financial Freedom: A New Approach to Wealth Building
20:05 Changing Perspectives: From Victimhood to Agency and Gratitude
22:57 The Power of Mindset in Achieving Wealth and Health
25:20 Starting Small: The Path to Big Changes
27:38 Identity and Values: Shaping Your Future Self
29:33 Breaking Generational Narratives for Financial Freedom
37:17 The Importance of Inputs Over Outcomes
41:29 Applying Business Principles to Personal Growth
42:56 Final Thoughts: Taking Control of Your Life's Trajectory

How to reach Chad:
Website: https://www.veritasalaska.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@veritasalaska
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/VeritasWealthManagement/
LinkedIn:

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

You know, we spend decades to support our families from upgrading our homes, vacation, education funds for our children. There's just so many things that are just going on for us. But hopefully, during this time, we're also socking away something for our retirement. You know, we have a plan and we know what we're going to do with our lives during those golden years, or do we? You know?

Speaker 1: 0:20

Today, my guests and I are going to explore this concept of retiring on purpose, as we retire from our careers to a life of meaning and purpose. And before we get into that, I just want to remind everyone that today has been so challenging for us to be men, to be a truly masculine, and so this pain that we feel, for some of us, is real. It's a pain of loneliness and it's a pain of unworthiness, and so it's masked at times by anger and resentment. It's all because we're uncertain and afraid to take that next step. So if you're tired and fed up with where you're at, I'm going to encourage you to start your hero's quest. It's where you can become more, accomplish more and live more than ever before. Just go to memberstheawakenedmannet and start your quest today, and with that, let's get on with today's episode.

Speaker 2: 1:07

The average man today is sleepwalking through life, many never reaching their true potential, let alone ever crossing the finish line to living a purposeful life. Yet the hunger still exists, albeit buried amidst his cluttered mind, misguided beliefs and values that no longer serve him. It's time to align yourself for greatness. It's time to become a revolutionary man. Stay strong, my brother.

Speaker 1: 1:31

Welcome everyone to the Revolutionary man podcast. I'm the founder of the Awakened man movement and your host, alan DeMonso. Before we get started, let me ask you a couple of questions. Have you started a retirement plan and is it on track to support those golden years? Now, if you're like many people, we may set aside money for retirement, but it's probably not going to be enough. So what do we do about that? It starts with having a solid plan that you check on regularly, and so today my guest shares how he's helping families in the great state of Alaska and beyond to achieve purposeful retirement. So allow me to introduce my guest.

Speaker 1: 2:08

Born and raised in Anchorage, alaska, chad Hufford grew up in the financial industry, but also developed a strong background in athletics, nutrition and performance psychology. Chad brings a coaching mindset to the heart of a teacher to financial planning and investing, as he strives to empower and educate his audience not only to become better investors, but to live more intentionally and create an abundant life. Chad's also dave ramsey's smart investor pro, and so he owns boutique financial planning firm, the veritas wealth management, and he manages half a billion dollars and serves several hundred families across the us. So, in addition to finance, regularly teaches and speaks on fitness and faith, seeing as all aspects of a purposeful and abundant life. Man, I'm looking forward to this conversation. Welcome to the show Chad. How are things, brother?

Speaker 3: 2:57

I'm grateful to be here, I'm blessed and it would be my pleasure to have this conversation.

Speaker 1: 3:03

Me too. I think it's been a while since I've had someone on it's coming from a financial background and I really liked the story that you were sharing with me before we got on and starting to plan this whole interview today. And so, as you know, the very first question out of the gate is we want to find out a bit about your hero's quest, how you got to where you are today. So tell us about that time in your life when you knew things had to change. What did you do, and how did that experience shape you into the man you are today?

Speaker 3: 3:34

So one of the most pivotal experiences of my life was, at 19 years old, being poisoned by carbon monoxide, and I was exposed to a fatal dose of what should have been a fatal exposure of carbon monoxide for about 10 to 12 hours. And I for those of you that don't know they're listening, that don't understand how carbon oxide works it basically pushes oxygen off your hemoglobin. So, even though you're breathing in air, your, your blood can no longer carry oxygen to the various parts of your body. So, even though you're breathing, you basically slowly asphyxiate and most people lose consciousness and then never wake up. And I fell asleep multiple times, continue to wake up. I got sick, went back to bed. I thought it was food poisoning at first, and you know the old adage or the old saying you know you're afraid you're going to die, and then, after a while, you're afraid you won't die. I know exactly what that feels like. It's terrible. It was one of the worst experiences of my entire life and I woke up and got my neighbor, dragged me out of there. He knew what it was like right away. I was delirious, just like out of it, and I'm trying to give you the short version of this story.

Speaker 3: 4:41

But, alan, I was pretty angry for about six months. I was actually training for a bodybuilding show at that point and I was me and this other guy that was favored to win, junior, mr Alaska. So in our age bracket we were the two most fit guys and I was young, I was cocky, I was arrogant, I was selfish and I was not only in the best shape of my life, I was in the best shape of most people's lives, and it sounds really. It probably sounds arrogant to say it, but here's why that's important is because I came from being an elite athlete to barely being able to get up the stairs and I was bitter. To be honest, alan, I think I was angry at God and it took a long time for me to get over that.

Speaker 3: 5:26

But about six months later I woke up with the realization one day that I shouldn't have woken up at all and I very easily and probably should have died that night, and it was a huge blessing to be awake. But here's the scary and here's what was my wake up call is realizing, at 19 years old, that should have been it for me. I should have been standing before my creator trying to give an account for my life without a lot to show for it, because most of my life, most of my adult life, the two, three years up that point have been pretty selfish, pretty self-absorbed, and I would have been embarrassed and scared to try to give an account for my life at that point. And I came to this realization after several months that I had a new lease on life.

Speaker 3: 6:08

And I don't call it borrow time, I call it bonus time, because every single day is a gift. And we say that, alan, like every day is a gift. But for me, I really feel that every single day is another day that I should not have had and I want to make sure I use that to impact the lives of those around me, to love my family better, to make other people around me better. So I've had 23 years of bonus time and just so grateful for that. I feel like every day is a gift, but a gift from God. But my gift is being able to give that day back to him with something that I can be proud of. So that's why I'm here.

Speaker 1: 6:43

Man, what a great story. Wow've, wow. I've had so many interesting, impressive stories and that one just I got to tell you really hits home for me because my little brother went through something similar. He was working on on an old car that he had and he thought he had the garage door open enough, and he didn't. And if it wasn't for my mom coming outside and seeing the garage full of, you know, exhaust, you know I don't know if he would be here today. And so hearing you tell that story, this made my, you know, just made me remember back of what that, the potential of that and that was not from that didn't happen to me, but somebody so close to me, and so you know I can just think about the people also around you and how that must have affected them and how that changed their perspective of you as well. So talk a little bit about that before we get on to other things.

Speaker 3: 7:32

Well, what you're asking is really important too, because a lot of my identity was wrapped up into my physical capability, into my image, and all that changed.

Speaker 3: 7:39

I, over the course the next week or so, I lost.

Speaker 3: 7:43

I lost about 10 or so that day just from vomiting Sorry, it's a little graphic, but I continued to lose weight because my muscles were not getting oxygen and they gradually deteriorated. So I think all in all, I lost between 20 and 25 pounds and it took me months actually probably a couple of years to get that back, even longer, to get my strength back, and that identity that I had was was vanishing before my eyes and it caused me to have to dig deeper and really look like is this, is this what you want this all to be about? You know people see you as this, this gym rat, but you've got to help them see more of you. There's gotta be more to you than just a guy that can throw some weight around in the squat rack. So it was a terrible time, but it was also one of those necessary times. I'm so grateful that happened and my life is so much better for it. I'm a better person for it and, like I said, it reshaped my identity in a very meaningful way, in a very healthy way.

Speaker 1: 8:45

Yeah, absolutely, and what a great point there to talk about how others see us. Right. They see us in our persona, what we're willing to share and put out in the world, and then when that gets shattered and gets changed, then they start to recognize that there's more to who Chad is, there's more to who Alan is, and that's why I always like starting off the show with hearing about people's transformational experiences. We don't get an opportunity, especially as men, to talk about that, and so I'm really grateful that you were vulnerable enough to share, and so let's talk about how you're serving people today, and so today you speak about clients. I talked in the intro here about really about retiring on purpose, and that's going to require, I think, a lot of us to shift our thinking about that transition, as we mentioned earlier about from a career to retirement. So what do you really mean by shifting that? That's our thinking in that transition.

Speaker 3: 9:35

Well, we've actually stopped using the term retirement, because even the idea of retiring is to to move away from something. And the way I want people to think about it is not retirement. It's about financial freedom. It's about a work optional lifestyle where you no longer need your paycheck or your source of income in order to maintain life on your terms and your desired lifestyle. It's financial independence from a job. It's not needing to go to work. It doesn't mean you stop working. It doesn't mean that you stop being productive. It doesn't mean you unplug.

Speaker 3: 10:07

In fact, I believe that when somebody hits a point of financial independence, I think those are the most impactful years of their life ahead, or at least they have the potential, because you're not stuck with a bureaucracy of a nine to five job which may not bring out the best of you. And I'm blessed to be in a career that has become a calling and it's almost like a ministry to me. It makes my heart come alive. I want to be doing this. I'm 85 years old, but not everybody has that. So when you remove the time constraints, the physical constraints, the stress constraints of a job, I think it opens people up for even more impact in the life around them. But the problem is the slow idea of a job. I think it opens people up for even more impact in the life around them. But the problem is this whole idea of retirement is we think about what we're retiring from and we completely miss what we're retiring to. We have people that unplug from challenging careers, from difficult careers, but maybe great careers, and there's community there. They have friends, they have people that held them accountable, people that loved them and cared about them, and they unplug from all that and they don't plug into anything over here.

Speaker 3: 11:09

And you talked about loneliness at the beginning of this in your intro and that's a huge problem for today. Up retirees the most Because a lot of people still have to work part-time and do some things in retirement because they didn't save enough. But the people that don't need anything, that can sit back and just live off of the income that investments produce a lot of those people are the most lonely because they don't need anybody else at least financially they don't and they forget about what their needs are. Because I just believe that we're wired to need to serve each other and we're wired to need one another. And you go back to the whole identity thing With me as a 19-year-old kid.

Speaker 3: 11:53

I pretended like I didn't need anybody else and I couldn't hide it anymore when I got sick and I think that was huge for me, because I had to lead. I had to be the guy that says we do need each other. I need to my clients, I need you guys. I love seeing what my clients do with their financial freedom. That's what fills me up inside, that's what wakes me up. And for us to admit that we don't need to do this on an island, we don't need to do this all alone. There's no Rambos or Lone Rangers here in finances and when it comes to our career, there's so much meaning and purpose that we can find in our career that if we don't have something else to replace that some sort of meaningful pursuit retirement can be a very lonely road.

Speaker 1: 12:37

Absolutely and shorter lived, right, I know that there's a research study done in the UK, actually, and it talked about people that are going to retirement that don't have something to retire to. And we're not talking about big P purpose, just something to retire towards or to do something. They actually live about 30% less. They're just not around as long after because they've lost meaning and purpose. Lost meaning and purpose. And so what I really like about your work is, while you focus on the financial aspect, because you're big, you're also big on nutrition and health. You're really coming and approaching your, your business, from a broader perspective than just dollars and cents. And so how tell us how you're incorporating the whole, that entire perp, that entire identity, I should say, on helping people retire on purpose?

Speaker 3: 13:23

Well, and to to echo what you just said too, I should say on helping people retire on purpose. Well, and to echo what you just said too, I mean it's really important to think about not just lifespan but health span. So you're right, people that have more meaning and purpose in life have a tendency to live longer in years. But it's not just the amount of years, it's the amount of life in those years. And even if you have somebody that lives 20, 30 years past retirement, sometimes it's not really living, sometimes it's just dying slowly. And what we want to do is make sure that people have maximum life in those years, beyond financial freedom when they hit that work optional date, that those years are full of life and fulfillment. And we call it meaningful pursuit, because it's not enough just to have meaning. You've got to have something to pursue, something that challenges you, something that stretches you. I say all the time, the only difference between being in a groove and being stuck in a rut is how long you sit there, and if we don't have something that makes us uncomfortable and stretches us just a little bit, we end up getting comfortable and then complacency is a real short trip after comfort, and then complacency is a real short trip after comfort and if we have meaningful pursuit, it keeps us striving towards something that is deeply fulfilling to us, and I think that's so important.

Speaker 3: 14:33

And the reason why I talk about faith and fitness as well is because I just Alan to me this is about living an abundant life. And if you have all the money in the world but your body's broken, your relationships are busted and you're living in anxiety and fear all the time, you're not experiencing abundance. And my goal for people, my why is to help people live a more abundant life. Finances and investments that's just a tool I use to get there, and if I couldn't do this, I'd probably be back in the fitness world or I would be in full-time ministry helping people build up those other pillars of their life. But I've got I think I've got a niche and a calling here in finance, but we don't want to ignore those other things.

Speaker 3: 15:15

So what we've really come down to in the last few years is really training mindset, because the mindset that builds wealth also builds health, it also builds faith, it builds good relationships, the idea of perseverance and discipline, delaying gratification, having a better relationship with your future self, where your decisions today serve the future you rather than stealing from the future you. Those ideas, those mindsets are very similar, it's just the application with it. We apply it to going to the gym, we apply it to eating better, we apply it to saving money, we apply it to sit, to paying off debt, we apply it to treating our wife and our kids better, but the mindset and the hard attitude behind it is very much the same. So if we could develop that inside of the folks we work with, they can apply that to multiple areas of their life, not just finance. And what we've found out is when people can take control of their financial life, it's amazing how many other areas of their life fall into place, because it changes from the inside out.

Speaker 1: 16:16

Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. I totally agree with that. That abundance and mindset starts is a, is an inside journey and it's a before it becomes out, before it becomes revealed to us outside. And if we can recognize that we have that that part of us right, and where there's something greater than who we are can help guide us, then we can really set ourselves up. And so, because you talk about a lot of your work, about getting set up for that, having a good relationship really with that future self of yours, and so it starts with your mindset, and I think that makes so much sense. Tell me a little bit about you. Have a book coming out. It's called Forging Financial Freedom Constructing Blue Collar Millionaires with Seven Wealth Building Strategies. How did the book come to be and what is what makes this book different than other financial service books out there?

Speaker 3: 17:02

Well, there's a lot of people out there with the steps to building wealth and different blueprints, and a lot of them work, to be honest. Just like there's a lot of workouts templates that work, there's a lot of diets that work, but it doesn't matter how good the plan is, if you don't stick to it, it doesn't work. The best diet in the world sitting on a drawer covered up by donut boxes, isn't working for you. The best financial strategy that isn't executed because the market went down and you're freaked out or because you chose momentary pleasure instead of long-term purpose all those things don't matter. So this book doesn't have all these templates and different steps and strategies. It is more of a mindset book, because my belief, alan, is if you don't have the right mindset, you won't be able to stick with any plan long enough to see it to fruition.

Speaker 3: 17:56

Because this isn't about getting rich quick. It's about building wealth slowly. It takes time, it takes patience and perseverance. So I've taken a lot of my experience with performance psychology and coaching professional athletes and merge that into the area of of finance to help people apply that, to not just help them find better investments, but to ultimately help them become a better investor. And those are two completely different things. Like you can, you can give somebody a paintbrush. It doesn't make them a better artist. We've got to give them a paintbrush and teach them how to become a better painter. So that's what I'm trying to do with with the book not just give them more steps or checklists, but to actually change the perspective of money, how they look at it, how they look at financial independence and the idea of even retirement itself, to develop a better relationship between themselves and money.

Speaker 1: 18:47

And that sounds outstanding.

Speaker 1: 18:49

I can't wait to get the get ahold of that copy of this book.

Speaker 1: 18:52

You know, I think I was thinking about how the relationship that most lots of people have with money isn't necessarily a great one, and I was listening to a podcast today, andy Frisella, and he had John, I can't remember, like a gentleman's last name.

Speaker 1: 19:05

Anyways, they were talking about the relationship that people have, the conversations that happen in the homes, and how the challenge we have today, in today's society, is that the conversations we have today are really conversations of lack lack not just in finances, but lack in lots of different areas. And it's because we haven't made this that we haven't put made the decision either to surround ourselves with, with other people who think differently or were too afraid or whatever that challenges. And so what I like about what you're saying with your book is it's really about focusing on that, on that relationship with with it. And I bet you you probably have a, you know, a skill testing question that really reveals to to vote to yourself, then exactly where people are in their, in their finance journey, just because of mindset. So tell us a little bit about how, how you, how you, work with clients and how that, how you help them really, help them really change that perspective of however they're thinking about it and that relationship to a more positive one.

Speaker 3: 20:05

There's two things that we look for. I love that you brought this up, alan. This is great. Two of the things we look for is does somebody look at life happens to them or for them? Are they a victim of their circumstances? Because somebody who's always blaming something else and don't get me wrong bad things happen to good people. I get that. But people who are willing to reclaim agency and this is what a lot of this book is about is teaching people how to control the variables in their life that they have influence over. Most of the financial world is focused about the things that happen out there that we have no control over the economy, interest rates, what's going on in Israel and Russia and all these different things. We can't control that. Who's in the white house Well, who's in the white house is not near important nearly as important as what happens in your house. So it's getting people to take control and reclaim agency in their life, and some people naturally do that more than others, but I listened for that in conversation.

Speaker 3: 20:59

If people own their mistakes, own their failures and their setbacks, it lets me think that, okay, they're probably coachable. They're willing to learn and do things differently. A lot of people want to do the same thing over and over again They've always done and somehow get a different result because it's somebody else's fault, it's bad circumstances, they're unlucky, their boss hates them, their spouse did this to them and I don't want to. I don't want to diminish the difficult things that have happened to people, but I also want people to understand that they are the biggest variable to their own success. The other thing that we look for is this attitude of gratitude, and really a lot of people want to be more grateful and they think when they have more things they will become more grateful. That's like saying I will go to the gym once I get stronger. No, you go to the gym so you get stronger. You practice gratitude until you have an attitude of gratitude.

Speaker 3: 21:47

So gratitude is an attitude, but it's a practice first.

Speaker 3: 21:49

It's a discipline that you execute and in doing so, it trains people to focus on what they do have and ignore more of what they don't have.

Speaker 3: 22:03

What they do have and ignore more of what they don't have, and I think that these two are actually tied very closely together, because if I'm focused on what I do have, I'm more likely to focus on what I can do, on what I can act on and less of what is happening to me. If I'm focused on what everybody else has and what I don't have, I'm more likely to have a reactive mindset focused on what I can't do. So, even though they are separate mindsets, I do believe they are connected and for us, those are the two, I think, principal characteristics of somebody who is coachable, somebody who looks at what they do have and looks at what they can do. And if somebody has, is able to develop that skillset I do believe it's a skillset looking at life in that way they're able to then take on some of these other principles of discipline and perseverance and patience. That allows people to build wealth and health and a lot of other good things in their life.

Speaker 1: 22:57

I completely agree. I was just, you know, taking copious notes there and the one thing that came to me was that he who has more shall be given, and that's really the shift that you're looking to help people may understand is that with the right mindset moving from a fixed to an open mindset or a growth mindset really changes. And, to your point, it's not just in our financial aspect of our life, but in all aspects of our life, everything that we get involved with, and so I think that's a great way to come at. This is for sure. There's lots of books out there, and here are the 10 steps to do this and that, and how to invest in real estate or buy stocks or do whatever it is that you feel you want to do. But to really focus on mindset is something that needs to be done more, and I'm glad that you're doing that work for us, because, man, there's lots of folks that need that, need that help.

Speaker 3: 23:46

Well, I appreciate that and I do think it's important and, like I said, my hope is that it changes how people view beyond just their finances, how they look at life in general and to to recapture agency in other areas of their life. And this whole gratitude thing, I think, is so important. You mentioned to who much is given or too much is given. More will be given still, but I think a big part of being generous and this is a huge thing that I've been trying to teach on recently is, again, this goes back to habits, right. It's like I'll be grateful when I have more, I'll be generous when I have more money, like no, it's a habit. You got to start where you're at.

Speaker 3: 24:26

But by practicing gratitude and being generous, it isn't just that you might be blessed with more, but you're able to more clearly see what you already have. And there's a lot of people that have so much going for them but they don't notice it because they're so focused on what everybody else has. And by being grateful, by being generous, we're able to see the tools that are at our disposal right now much more clearly. And that's where the abundant life starts, because you take somebody who lives in scarcity, who's selfish, who's cruel, who's manipulative. You give them $10 million. They're still living in anxiety, they're still selfish, they're still cruel. Probably more so because money typically makes us more of what we already are. It amplifies our characteristics. So I believe we've got to change from the inside out to get the most out of the tools of investing in money.

Speaker 1: 25:18

I completely agree with that, absolutely. I know we're starting I think you're starting to really talk also about really some different components about living an abundant life. You know you're talking about getting control of agency and really have an attitude of gratitude. Are there any other areas or components that you add into this mix as well?

Speaker 3: 25:34

I think it's being humble enough to start small, because there's a tendency for some people to want to change everything all at once and they focus on optimizing before they standardize, and they want the best workout plan or the best business plan or the best financial plan, the best investment strategy, and they don't want to start anything until it's perfect or they don't. They're like well, you know, I can only afford to save maybe two or 3% of my 401k. I'm not going to start saving until I can max that thing out. You know it's. It's being able to start small and realizing that the habit is what you build on. The habit is the foundation, regardless of whether you're saving $10 a paycheck or $1,000 a paycheck.

Speaker 3: 26:23

You've got to prove to yourself that you are the type of person who saves for the future. You're changing your diet. You might be just eating a few extra, extra, half a cup of broccoli or something like that. Is that going to change everything? No, is walking an extra mile going to change everything? No, is walking an extra mile going to change everything? No, but by giving yourself tangible proof that you are the type of person who is willing to serve the future version of you.

Speaker 3: 26:48

That's where it starts and small, small things lead to big change if they're done consistently. But if we try to change too much at once, we're not consistent. So a mediocre workout let's say somebody's working out 20, 25 minutes three or four days a week that somebody can sustain for five or 10 years is going to have a much better impact in their life than doing like a four hour long Navy SEAL workout that they do twice and they give up and quit Like, okay, I'm not going back to the gym again until January 1st of next year. And that's why gyms are empty by February, because people try to optimize before they standardize. They don't make it a habit first. So be willing to be patient with yourself, guys and gals. Start small, but stay consistent.

Speaker 1: 27:32

I love that message and you know, I just made that note there the habit is the foundation and it's and it's so, it's, so true, and you talk about, you know, the identity, and one of the things that we do here at the awakened man is one of our, one of our tools we take them through is is helping them really look at their values and limiting beliefs and at some point and they go through the exercise I'll have them craft a statement that starts with I'm the kind of man who, and whatever they put after that is something that like to your point point, something that's small, that they can start to identify with, and then they can take the steps. So now it helps them in their decision making every day. Okay, so I'm the kind of man who you know, you know eats, makes great choices with my food or my diet, right, you know, goes to the, goes to gym or does a workout, and then you can look at the mirror when you're saying that and you can, you can give your. You can either be on point or you can be off point, and I find that when we do that work with guys that they'd rather they'd rather not let themselves down, and and so they show up and so, part of it, they also have a bit of an accountability coming to our, to the circle men's circles. But the point of it is is that we need to look at changing our shape of our, of our, of our identity.

Speaker 1: 28:42

And in the old and what, something that never worked for me was, you know, taking a taking a picture of yourself, cutting your, cutting the head off and putting it on Schwarzenegger's body Cause that cognitive dissonance for me was just too great. But to know that I could, that I could, that I can consistently do, start a habit works better than it. Maybe at some point that'll happen, maybe it won't, but ultimately that's that's not the that's not the goal. The goal is about developing a good habit, and I think that's really what. What I'm really taking away so far with what you're saying is really about mindset and building habits that help live to a more purposeful. I like how you said your choice to retire. I was to know what. I made the note there work, work optional instead of retirement is is a great framework for being able to move ourselves from one part, one phase, of our life, to that next.

Speaker 3: 29:33

Well, and what you just said, too, is it's knowing what's important to you. Because if we, if we don't have a healthy identity, if we don't have a healthy perspective of ourselves, what we're likely to do is chase what we think is important to somebody else. We start dancing to somebody else's music, we're chasing what we see other people valuing, and I'm not doing what's important to me anymore. I do what I think other people's thing, other people think is important to them. Dave Ramsey says that we spend money. We don't have to buy things we don't need to impress people we don't even like. But that happens with long-term financial goals too, where people set those goals based on what they see other people doing.

Speaker 3: 30:17

They're not really running their race anymore, and we have a lot of broken narratives and soundtracks we listen to and some of them are, you know, my family's poor, I'm poor, we've always been bad with money and and those become self-fulfilling prophecies because, well, why try to save for the future if I know that I'm just gonna make bad investment decisions? So we spend and. But but those, those broken narratives, can also be people putting their agendas and their pressure on us and and we think that this life that we're chasing is going to fulfill some need because it impresses people around us, but it doesn't really connect with our hearts and and being able to be vulnerable enough with our own feelings and thoughts to know. You know, maybe the living and playing golf every day isn't really what is going to wake me up every morning. And having a condo on the beach in Hawaii or all these different things like is that what is really going to make me feel fulfilled? Maybe, but probably not.

Speaker 3: 31:21

Does it look impressive on an Instagram account? Sure, but is it going to make you feel more of who you want to be? Probably not, and that's where I think we need to find opportunities to plug in and serve other people, to make that impact, because that's what makes me wake up every day to be able to have conversations with awesome people like you, to be able to spread this. That's what makes me wake up every day to be able to have conversations with awesome people like you, to be able to spread this. That's what wakes me up and, like I said, I'm blessed I found that will emerge that into a career. But for a lot of people that don't get to have that by being able to find financial independence early in life they can. They can start creating a roadmap to this version of themselves. That's who they want to become, is where they want to be, what they want to be doing, not what other people want them to be doing necessarily.

Speaker 1: 32:09

Yeah, absolutely Completely, and I like the idea you're really talking about. You know that generational and we talk about these generational traumas that happen within our families and they're the, they're the repetitive mindsets that continue to go, and somebody has to make a decision, Someone has to raise their hand and say, if it's got to be, it's up to me, and to make that change. I don't know, I think that was Jim Rohn or someone. Somebody had said that. So I think it's really important that that we change that mindset and we look at how, how we're currently doing things, and to reach out to folks such as yourself and and you have a great perspective on it versus what a typical financial planner might have and so I would think that over the course of your life, you've had one or two mentors, so tell me about the best piece of advice that you've been given and how has that served you?

Speaker 3: 32:51

One of the best pieces of advice I've been given is nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care. And especially in this job, a lot of people they throw up a lot of charts and graphs and statistics and things like that. But what a lot of people want, especially men, and we're not going to admit it to each other but what we want is somebody to listen and ask us what do you want your life to look like? What would you want to be doing if you didn't have to go to work anymore? Like what were your dreams as a kid? And how can you connect to some of those things?

Speaker 3: 33:28

Men want to be heard, and I think there's a part of us that we want to be able to have somewhere to express our dreams and hopes, but also our fears and anxiety, and to be able to sit in front of somebody and unpack some of that with them and relate it to their financial goals is super powerful. And when people start understanding that you really care not about their money, but you care about their life and you're just using that money to build a better version of their life, that's where transformation happens. So a lot, of, a lot of financial planning can be transactional and they're obviously it's fine. There's transactions attached to it, but you don't have transformation until you really get to know the individuals that are sitting with and deeply care about what is meaningful to them, because money is just a tool and if we're not listening to what people want to build, we're probably going to build the wrong thing for them.

Speaker 1: 34:21

Yeah, that's so true and I really like that. I made that note. Men want somebody just to ask us what do they want their life to look like? And what a powerful question. Because we do want to be asked that and we may be uncomfortable when we start to think about that as being having that question posed, but it's good for us to have that bit of internal stress over because it challenges us and that's what the way command was all about.

Speaker 1: 34:45

Going through, going through the, the pain points in my life was being able to create a space where guys can have conversations about their financial position. And if you know, I'm in I'm in my 57 here, going to be 58, you know, I'm at a different stage in my life than I was 20 years ago, 10 years ago, and so we have to have these conversations and we need to work with folks such as yourself to be able to pull that out of us so that we can recognize what is our plan, how do we move forward from where we are today, and so I think it's great that we're having this conversation about money and finance and our relationship to that, because it is one of the key pieces for us for men to understand is really to know what our relationship is about and what are some of the beliefs and the values we have about it that need to get, need to change. Quite honestly, they just need to change because there could, they can be unconscious programs running.

Speaker 3: 35:40

That's sabotaging where we ultimately want to go well, if we don't have a job for our money, an objective for what our money is needing to create in our lives, the tendency is then to just chase money as an end in itself. And you had somebody on your show recently can't remember his name, but he talked about chasing money and how money runs pretty quick. It's hard to catch, but you know what? I think one of the worst things that can happen to somebody who's just chasing money is they do catch it. Because they catch it and they really like a dog chasing a bus, like they finally catch it, like now, what do I do with it? And they they thought when I catch this, people will respect me, I will have less insecurity, I will have less fear, I will be liked, I will be respect, all these different things. And they get it and they realize all those insecurities are still there, all those fears. They've sacrificed their health, their relationships, whatever to gain the wealth. And it doesn't fix the problems and it's horrifying for some people.

Speaker 3: 36:34

So if money isn't doing something for you, if it's just an end in itself, chasing money is a very lonely, destructive process and it's probably really weird to hear from a financial advisor, but again, to hear from a financial advisor. But again, it's just. Money is a tool that I understand and it's a tool that I believe I was inspired to help people utilize to create a better life, but at the end of the day, it's just a tool. We don't get excited about the hammer and the nails and the saws. We get excited about the financial house that's being built. So I just I always encourage people to think through that. Money's a tool.

Speaker 1: 37:08

Yes, you have to learn how to wield it correctly, but the goal is not money books, or maybe one that you're currently reading. What was a book that really had a profound impact on you, and how did it change your mindset about life?

Speaker 3: 37:36

So this is a business book, but I think it can apply a lot broader. It's a book called the Game of Numbers and it's by a gentleman named Nick Murray who has actually become a mentor of mine through no deserving of my own. I still don't know why the guy paid any attention to me 15 years ago but it's called the game of numbers and the premise of the book I'll just break it down real quickly is focus on inputs, not outcomes. Outcomes and it's good to have goals, don't get me wrong, alan it you know. Yes, we want to have a specific measurable goal, but if your goal is to to lose 20 pounds, you got to break that down into measurable inputs that you can control. So I can't necessarily control if I lose 20 pounds in the next six months. There might there's things outside of of my realm of influence, but I can control if I don't eat past 6 pm. I can control if I cut out sodas. I can control a lot of different things that will leverage that outcome. I can't control if I'm gonna be a millionaire by whatever age, but I can control not to take on debt. I can control I'm gonna save money on my paycheck every two weeks. So what this book taught me not to take on debt I can control. I'm going to save money on my paycheck every two weeks.

Speaker 3: 38:56

So what this book taught me is to connect inputs to outcomes but really commit. Not just commit to the input, but reward and celebrate the input. Because what happens, alan, is we reward and celebrate outcomes. When people get the promotion they graduate from high school, nobody ever threw you a party because you stayed in your dorm room on a Friday night and studied for a chemistry test. Now they might've thrown a party for you when you graduated and your parents like finally, this guy's off the family payroll, but the input was you choosing not to go out with your buddies and to study. That was the input. But nobody celebrates that. Nobody celebrates putting money into their 401k. They might celebrate when the guy finally retires, but they don't celebrate all the inputs that led up to it. So the game of numbers is just it's, and there's other books on it, but that's the one that just was an aha moment for me. It's a phenomenal business book, but you can tweak. You can tweak the message of that book very easily to apply to a lot of other goals in life.

Speaker 1: 39:53

I just what I always love about asking that question with to my guests is the, the, where they come from and what and what they bring forward, and the idea of this game of numbers and two notes I put down, focus on inputs and then reward and celebrate them. Yes, what a profound way to think about it, cause you're absolutely right, we are a society driven by outcome, the results. What was the result? Did we win the game? Did we, you know? Did we hit our, our sales targets? Did we? And while those are important, and you all and you do have to craft what your outcomes, potential outcomes, will be, what you're really saying, what this book is saying is what are you doing today, what's the input that you're doing today to move you one step closer to that, and then to celebrate that that, you know.

Speaker 1: 40:28

We take back to the, to the fitness aspect. I think we've talked a lot about habits today, but one of the things that he got out of the reading atomic habits was to to celebrate the little wins, the 0.1%, the 1% win, instead of waiting for the, the big one. Just, yeah, just make it not be too made the commitment that it's not. You're not going to miss two days in a row. Simple little things that we can do, and so what a great, what a great book. I mean I've just made a note of that. I'm sure it's going to end up by being one of the books of the month for us here at the at the Awaken man.

Speaker 3: 41:00

And Atomic Habits you mentioned. Dude has trained professional athletes, olympic athletes and who's built a lot of blue-collar millionaires. I can say that that is one of the most practical books on behavior change. It is phenomenal and really I think if you read Game of Numbers and like that, you'll love Atomic Habits and vice versa. There's a lot of tie and they complement each other very well and it's just a real quick application, even though Game of Numbers is more of a business book.

Speaker 3: 41:33

I was just thinking as we're sitting here talking and I know you talk a lot about relationships on your show as well Just think about the relationship with your wife, not as a business transaction, but like I want a better marriage, I want a deeper connection with my wife. Let's say I can't necessarily completely affect that all on my own, but could I leave a note for my wife every single morning? Or could I wake up every morning, regardless if we had a fight the night before, and pray for my wife? Could I maybe find a verse that reminds me of her and text and text that to her Like those are all things that are completely in my control. They might be difficult to do some days, but if somebody's willing to execute those things, their relationship will get better.

Speaker 3: 42:20

And but too often we are. We're so focused on the outcome that if that thing doesn't work in the moment like I've, I've left seven notes for my wife and she's still being a jerk to me we don't give it enough time because we're focused on the outcome. So I hope people understand I'm not saying ignore the outcome. The outcome, the goal, is important, but we've got to find a way to take that long-term outcome that we want and bring it into today and wrap an action around it. And that's what you and I are both talking about, and it's it's that is a life-changing perspective that people can have to apply to every area of their life.

Speaker 1: 42:54

Yeah, I completely agree, Absolutely. You know a chat of everything that we spoke about today, and maybe there was something we didn't get a chance to touch on. What would be the one takeaway you'd want our audience to have?

Speaker 3: 43:04

I think we did, and I think it's this idea of agency that, yes, there are things that are out of your control, but the things that your behaviors, your choices, your habits, those are the biggest variables in the success or failure of your life. And I think you, as the individual, you hold the keys to the trajectory of your life. So focus on what you can control and learn to ignore what you can't.

Speaker 1: 43:27

Perfect. What a great way to wrap up our conversation today. I just want to say once again, buddy, thank you so much for being on the show and you really gave us an idea to look at that. Not only our money that we need to consider for her retirement or our work optional years, but also the mindset to be able to achieve that. And so if men we focus on men's work here if men were interested in getting a hold of you and participating in your work, what would be the best way for them to do that?

Speaker 3: 43:52

Website is veritasalaskacom. We were founded here in Alaska. We work with people nationwide, so it's veritasalaskacom. You can also find us on Instagram, linkedin, facebook. We've been trying to post a lot of widespread encouraging content on Instagram, so it's new, but we that's probably the second best place to find us.

Speaker 1: 44:15

Right on. I'll make sure all of the socials and everything's on the, on the, in the show notes for days episodes of people can get ahold of. You just want to say once again, chad, thank you so much. I had a great conversation, one of the best conversations actually I've had with a guest about finances and wealth, because we took it from a different place and looking at numbers and charts, and really talked about the internal work that we need to do and really change that relationship, and thank you so much for doing that for us today it's been my pleasure and an honor to be here thank you for listening to the revolutionary man podcast.

Speaker 2: 44:46

Are you ready to own your destiny, to become more the man you are destined to be? Join the brotherhood that is the Awakened man at theawakendmannet and start forging a new destiny today.