I Don't Want To Go To College! (Episode 38)

🎧 Making big life decisions after high school? Whether you're college-bound or not, this episode is your ultimate guide to figuring out what's next. Adulting Coach Sara Deacon drops major wisdom about navigating these game-changing choices that will shape your future.

Through real talk and practical advice, Sara breaks down the overwhelming process of post-high school decisions into manageable steps you can actually use.

This essential episode explores:

• The hidden traps of college decisions most teens never consider
• Real strategies for figuring out what YOU want (not what others want for you)
• How to make major life choices without freaking out
• Smart moves that set you up for success, college or not
• The secret timeline most high school students miss
• Money moves that can save you thousands in the long run

Perfect for: High school juniors and seniors planning their next steps, college freshmen finding their way, teens questioning the college path, parents supporting their kids through major decisions, and anyone feeling lost about their future direction.

To learn more about Sara Deacon, please click below.

Website: https://saradeacon.com

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LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/saradeacon

Transcript

Welcome to Mindshift Power podcast, a show for teenagers and the adults who work with them, where we have raw and honest conversations. I'm your host, Fatima Bey, the mind shifter. And welcome everyone. Today, we have with us Sarah Deacon, the adulting coach. She is out of Wisconsin.

Something I really, really love about her is that she keeps it real. So today, we're gonna be talking about the title is I don't wanna go to college. We're gonna talk about what the other alternatives are to to college and how we should be thinking about them. So, Sarah, how are you today? I'm great, fun.

Fatima, I'm really glad to be here. And I'm glad to talk to you. You're you're a joy to talk to. So tell us, you're an adulting coach. What the heck is an adulting coach?

I, the adulting coach is something I chose as my title and branding because I got sick of hearing over and over how hard and stupid and annoying adulting is because I'm out here having the time of my life, and I'm not sure what everybody else is talking about. So I am starting to just kind of spread the message that adulting can be fun and being able to shift your mindset and your perspective about the more challenging things that come to us in life is something that's really useful and foundational for living a purposeful, passionate life, in the world. And when more people have that attitude of, like, oh, hey. This isn't so bad. I can make this fun.

Oh, I'm excited about this challenge. Then we get to actually enjoy our life because if we're not having fun, what are we doing? So that is that is why I chose to play in the realm of adulting, and and change change our perspective about it. I love that you chose that title. It's something that's a little bit different.

Not so I like it when people are just not so typical. So blah. And you're definitely not a typical person, which is one of the reasons you're on the show. Alright. Now let me ask you this silly question.

Should everyone go to college? Absolutely. 100%. Everybody all the time should go to college. No.

No. No. Because, like, there is no one size fits all for anything. Yes. You're saying it.

I mean, every college is different. So if you do wanna go to college, finding the right fit is super important. But if you're not sure about college, there are so many ways to learn out there. Like, it's not like when when I was growing up, it was college was the thing that it was perceived we all needed it. Looking back, did I?

Maybe. Maybe not. But, but, yeah, there's so many ways to learn, and you can take college level courses to learn for free. Like, you don't have to enroll in a school. You don't have to pay tuition.

You can learn whatever you wanna know for free, which is sometimes a little overwhelming. Or for practice. So many options. Depending on what you yeah. Depending on what you're talking about.

But, yeah, that learning is isn't just doesn't just happen on college campuses. And we've been trained to think, the puppet masters have taught us that college is the the way to go because if you don't go to college, you're a loser. Right? Yeah. I mean, I I work with clients a lot of the time in the gap year where they have actually either have chosen proactively or it has been chosen for them to take a break from school.

And sometimes that's be you know, a result of academic probation or they started some somewhere and it didn't work out the way they wanted it to or they expected it to. And and in the gap year, I I see young people, 19, 20, 20 one years old, their peers are the ones who are saying, oh, you're not going to college? What a loser. And that's like, woah. That breaks my heart because You know what though?

They are really like, they're trying to figure out without spending tens of thousands of dollars on tuition. They're trying to figure out what's what's their right next step. I think it's brilliant to take take a step back and really get clear about where you wanna go. Right. You mentioned a big keyword that I wanna talk about that kinda segues into what I was gonna talk about next anyway.

What are the college alternatives? And you mentioned gap year. For those who are listening, and there's many people who really don't know what that is. So can you please explain to the audience what is a gap year? Well, the way I look at a gap year is it is a it might be a year.

It might be longer. It is taking a step back from academia, whether it's between a senior year of high school and high school graduation before enrolling and beginning a college program. Or if it's during college, taking a break, sit taking some time off. Sometimes it's a semester. One client, it was going to be a gap year, but it ended up being a semester because of the way, we were able to sort of accelerate her goal setting.

So it's some it's a step back. It's some time off to figure it out, to figure out what is the right next step. And like I said, for some, it's a it's a year. Generally, a year is a good amount of time because colleges, universities sometimes, build that into some of their programming where they they actually will support students taking a gap year, and you get some guidance and planning around it. The fear that comes up when that term gap year comes up, especially when I'm talking to parents, is that a gap year leads to a bump on the log in my basement never to leave.

So and that's and that's something that, again, why I've sort of specialized a little bit in the in guiding through the gap year is to assure parents that these kids, they they don't want to live at home forever. They don't want to mooch off the system. They don't want to mooch off their parents. They want to find meaning and purpose and something that they're excited about to do with their lives. They just don't always know how or how to go about it.

And that's where I come in or a gap year program. There is a there's a lot more gap year programs, like, officially tied to universities or other nonprofits or different, student organizations, there are a lot of gap year program options out there that give that structure and direction to time away from school. Because that's a lot of times when kids do go to college or start working after high school, it is, I have freedom. I have a job or I have you know, my needs are all still met, but they just kinda go off the rails and don't really know what, what responsibility really looks like and how to take control of the sudden freedom that they have because they've been structured for twelve years of of school Right. Right.

Up up to that point. And then, okay, you're officially an adult. You have freedom between classes. You don't have, like, a Monday through Friday, seven to three schedule anymore. So they kinda there's this risk of blowing it all because they just, you know, don't know what to do with all the freedom that they then have.

So having some structure around a gap year is really important. Yes. And I think, to to kinda piggyback off a little bit of what you just said, that's a key thing that I see happen a lot, and I know other adults listening see it happen. And I I even know some college students and teenagers that have seen it happen to other people. Mhmm.

Your structure you have the structure for twelve years, of schooling. You're in twelfth grade, and now you're graduating. And now you're just going to college. Okay. You're an adult now.

Bye. And it's like, if you haven't been trained for that, you are more likely to screw it up because you don't know what you're doing. You don't know what you want. If you have been trained, you know what you want, awesome. Then you probably will do well.

But, a lot of people don't do that. And that's why I think I do believe in gap year programs, but I also, agree with what you just said. There has to be balance with it. Gap year program is not for those who are just like, oh, I want my parents to shut up for a year, so I'm just gonna go to a gap year. Gap year program is genuinely for you to figure things out if you haven't already.

Because if you haven't, you're gonna be one of those people that go to college, and you're gonna get a degree that you never use and don't care about or go and study something that you absolutely freaking hate. And you a gap year program can help you avoid all of that. It's not guaranteed for anybody, but it does Yeah. Increase the likelihood that you're gonna be more successful. So besides gap year programs, and there are programs out there for you.

For those of you who are listening, there are gap year programs out there in America, all over America, actually. But what are the other college alternatives that people should be considering? Yeah. There's, there's probably more than I will even talk about on this episode. But, I mean, the the other, you know, big option is going right into the workforce.

Like, get a job at a bank or a car dealership or, you know, a relative's company or something. You know? Just get a job. Like, that's totally valid option. And, ideally, you'll want to maybe start at an entry level position in a in a field where you have some interest in, you know, in pursuing and growing and learning.

But even if you just work at Costco or a food service restaurant, waiting tables, whatever it is, like, if you go into the workforce, you're still learning valuable skills. You're learning to interact with people. And and those are all transferable to the, kind of career type jobs that you can have in the future, even if you're just kind of starting out and you're not sure where you wanna end up. That's okay. Get a job.

Work full time. And, you know, people man, I am a small business owner, and I am in many small business communities who are, like, we can't find good people. We would love to train, mentor young people in this field. So Yeah. Go seek out small business owners and and see what they're willing where they're willing to meet you without a college degree.

Because a lot of us, we we understand that college is not the be all end all. If you have the skills it you know, if you have the attitude and the hunger and the the desire to learn, we can train you on the skills. We can set you up with the courses that you need to do the Microsoft suite or whatever it is that that you need to do. So There are no more small businesses out there that do that than I think people realize. So I'm glad that you brought that up.

For sure. I know someone who started off at a collection agency just as a collector. This is yours start and ended up being the assistant VP of the company, and they were a Fortune 500 company. So I think it was Fortune 500 or somewhere up on one of those lists because there's more than just that list. But they were on the big, they were they were, you know, they were a big deal on Wall Street.

So, she ended up moving up, you know, there and, you know, she's just started off as an employee. So Right. You know? Right. And there are so many ways to connect to what you're doing and find the bigger purpose and meaning in it.

Even if you are flipping burgers or telemarketing or collection agent, There are aspects to a job that you can connect with and find fun in. You know, so making it making a game of how many calls you you can make or how many, you know, collections you can collect or, oh, let's make sure that, so and so is feeling good today or whatever it is. Like, what if it's the people around you serving your fellow employees and staff or serving your customers or creating something with the with the food or whatever that you're doing. There are so many ways to find that connection and meaning in work that may not be your every every day or long term, all the time forever career. So there are ways to to use that.

Again, turning it to the fun. Yeah. It might suck to have to call people all the time and ask for money. That might be a really sucky job. But if you can find something that you can connect to in that everyday space, you can change the perspective.

And and when you're having fun at work, you're more likely to get promoted, to get recognized, to get to get where you wanna go because you have the the attitude of, oh, this isn't just a grind. I'm actually making a difference in this way. So that's another way to sort of change your perspective about those entry level jobs that could lead you to those fortune 500 VP positions. Yeah. Let's talk about the other alternative, but I think not enough people think about trade school.

Oh, trade school. I I I was hoping this would be the next one we talked about. I love the trade school option. I think it's brilliant. And I think I think that in a few years, we are gonna see a shift.

I I was in a economics class I was sat in for a few minutes of an economics class earlier, last year and in a high school. And they were talking about the the chart comparing, oh, if you have a college degree and versus if you don't have a college degree and the income level that you can expect over the course of your career. And there's still there's still a difference. There's still a a significant gap between the college, degree people being a higher lifetime earnings, still. But that being said, I think we're gonna see a shift.

And I don't know if those numbers take into account the amount of debt people have from school, from student loans, because, yeah, your your income, your paycheck might be different. But if you think about it, if you're a few tens of thousands of dollars off over, you know, your late income, but you're not paying tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt from school, you're actually banking so much more Yes. Yes. Over the course of your career. And and I think trade the trades is a is a phenomenal way to do that.

So, yeah, going going into an apprenticeship or trade school is a really, really valid option. My husband is a HVAC maintenance tech and that he is college educated. He has not done that his whole life, his whole career. He he switched in midlife, and it it it's been really, really great for our family. The the company he's with takes excellent care of him.

You know, you can get involved with a union or not. My husband's not in a union shop, and the the place he works takes great care of their employees. Mhmm. And there is a camaraderie, and there's so there's so many benefits. And working with his hands, I think he just finds a lot of, satisfaction in that.

So, yeah, again, there are so many ways to learn or things to learn on those jobs. So, you know, electronics and, electricians and builders and oh my gosh. I know so many people in those fields that, again, they are they're dying for good people. I wanna read some numbers. I wanna, I brought up that because I I wanna talk about mechanics in particular.

Mhmm. Because I think they're a great example of everything you just said. So Yeah. The the for an auto for automotive design engineer. So for an engineer, the average and this is average because it's gonna be different each state.

But the average is, about 79 k. For an automotive technician, the average is about 65 k. So there's they're making $10 more a year. But let's talk about the debt from college. I really think that the auto mechanic is actually making more if you because I'm sure they have more Right.

Bringing home more, being able to save more. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Because at the end of the day, it's not just how much do you make on paper at the end of the year.

So much are you actually very at home? And if you are, you know, many, many, many, many thousands of dollars in debt, which they typically are or have been, you're really that's not really what you're making, you know, because it's not really what you're taking home. And the outlook of both the the outlook of, job job, perspectives, for both jobs is about the same. So it it's it's not that one is better than the other, but we're taught that one is better than the other, and that's not true. You know, at the end of the day taught that that piece of paper makes a big difference, that that degree makes a difference.

And it, you know, it can for some Yeah. For men you know, a lot of different fields. Like, you Certain you need a degree. Yeah. Yeah.

Certain, positions within the field, it can be. So it does depend on what in detail you're going into. But overall, and I'm saying that to to just kinda prove a point that sometimes we need to look at trade schools and stop looking at them as, oh, that's a blue collar job. That's lesser. Not not really.

Not when you look at the the whole bigger picture and not just numbers that number only. Those have been our essential workers for the last four years. Right? Like, those are our essential people are the people on the trades, the people that make the world go. Not only do they pay less for school, they spend less time in school.

Right. Well, and that's the thing too is, like, doing an apprenticeship or doing a a couple years at a trade school, like, that can be a great stepping stone too to to decide if, okay, well, this is good. I am, like, interested in this or, oh, maybe I should go to college. You know, that can be a great learning tool, a great stepping stone for those who might not be sure about college. And it's like, yeah, try out a trade.

Go do some job shadowing. Start an apprenticeship. Like, figure it out and then decide. Oh, yeah. Trade school is it.

Or maybe I should look into some four year programs. Like, you don't you don't know until you're kinda step into it and take that first step. I think well, what you just said kinda segues into what I was gonna, talk about next. Now you have already talked about a little bit and, you know, the different ways people can figure out what they wanna do. You know, we talked about gap year.

One of the reasons gap year is a good idea is if you're not sure, what your next step should be, why waste time going into debt or going into debt financially? Or there's also emotional debt. There's physical debt. There's time debt. Money isn't the only resource.

So why go into debt in one form or another into something that you're not sure about? Okay. Gap year is good. What are some of the ways other than gap year program and, you know, just trying to work a job to figure out what you wanna do? What are some of the other ways that someone can figure out what's for them?

Yeah. That that's a fantastic question. There are a couple tools I use in my coaching. So some of those, like, personality tests or self assessment tools that, that are out there, I use one for defining top five core values. I tend to narrow it down to three or even one, but we we talk about top five core values.

I do, exercise called the passion test, which is not like a pass fail test. It is a self assessment that shows you points you in that direction of what you actually really connect to when I kinda talked about being able to connect to that thing in your dead end job that still lights you up. Like, well, maybe you're a people person. Maybe you're a leader. I had a client Right.

A a young man who was in, sports in high school, and I would ask him, like, well, what how did the game go, and how did this tournament go? What were you most proud of yourself for doing? Again, no expectation of what the answer was. It was like, okay. Well, I hit the, you know, I hit the ball a certain way, or I hit did score the x number of points.

It was sort of maybe, like, something you would expect them to say. But what he said was, well, I really liked how I rallied my team when we needed to level up. I was like, oh, interesting. And, you know, the the the trajectory that he was on was taking a path into college, a higher education in a field that, to me, I don't know much about data science, but it doesn't seem like it's a very people centric day to day job. So Mhmm.

There's there are strengths. There were strengths there in that data and and numbers and logic, you know, logic side of things. But working with him, I'm like, please make sure that you are looking at their leadership opportunities, their Yeah. You know, business, team building, project management, something where you can maybe step into a role where you get to rally the people because that is something he valued about his own performance. Right?

So that's where things like that come in is doing that self evaluation, that reflective feedback. What did I really like about this experience? Whether it's a a class or a, speech or a a job shadow experience. What did I like about how I performed or how I fit? And then Mhmm.

What would I do to change it? What would I do differently if I had it to do over again? So that's just a little bit of self evaluation feedback after the fact. And I think, you know, with the amount of distractions and, addictions to screens and things like that, we don't always take the time to sit with our own selves and say, did I really like that, or is that someone else's voice telling me, oh, that was awesome? So that's why it's important to have some sort of outside something that can nudge you to to ask yourself those questions so that you can get to the heart of, like, what do I value?

What do I like? The one thing I'm gonna pull out of what you said is, and I'm talking to the audience right now. Listen. Take some self assessment like Sarah said, but look at the principles behind your passions, not just the details. So you might like sports, but what you really like sports what you like about sports is the fact that you can, as Sarah said, rally up your team.

That that's that's a leadership role. That's that's a coaching role, really. And, you know, it Yeah. Look at the principle behind what you're passionate about. Well, I like working over at that center.

Why do you like working in that center? Because I get to counsel youth. I get to talk to youth and help them figure out their lives. So maybe counseling is good for you. Maybe you should go look into therapy.

There you know, look at look at the principles behind what excites you. And, if you get someone like myself or Sarah, we can help you figure that out. You know? Get get to figure out the principles behind because everything else is just details. You can take that principle, that that pass that principle that you have that passion for and apply it to many things.

And sometimes you just don't even realize what you have a passion for. Do you do it? You know, I'm always bringing up the fact that I do wedding gowns and, yes, I'm doing it again. So I do wedding gowns. I make and design wedding gowns.

Right? And, and I'm a, you know, master seamstress. But I wouldn't be so if I hadn't worked at a bridal shop first. I never in a million years knew that I had the passion for for for the bridal industry that I do, the passion for helping people to look pretty and getting their dresses. I would not have known that if I hadn't first worked at a bridal shop.

And then I got promoted to alteration manager. And then from there, it said, okay. I wanna start my own business. I'm gonna sell wedding gowns because, hey, I can. And there's not a lot of people who can do it, so why not?

And then I found out, oh my god. I have a passion for heirloom wedding gowns. All of those things came from experiences. They weren't plans. They were experiences that opened up something for me.

And my point in saying all of that to to I'm talking to you audience right now. The listeners, my point in saying all of that is that that can be true for you too. As Sarah said earlier, you know, try something. And if you don't like it, fine. Move on.

Do something else. But try it until you find something that you're like, oh my god. I love this. Now what how can I move up in this? Or how can I do more with this and make what I I make what I wanna make doing this thing?

You know? I just wanna add that in there. Yeah. I've heard I've heard a quote, clarity comes from action. Yeah.

Because sometimes if you're not sure what to do, do something. But the other thing is actually do ask yourself, what do I really want? Yeah. And am I doing this because somebody told me I should? Right.

Or do I really want it? Do I does it really light me up? And I find that a very threatening question when somebody asks me that question because we don't even as a coach, I don't always take the time to decide this is what I want. And and then that one for one step further, actually asking for what I want. So we're not gonna get what we want if we don't ask for it.

We're not gonna be able to ask for what we want if we don't know. So it it steps back from there. And so sometimes clarity comes from action. Sometimes it comes from asking. So we're gonna, we're gonna hammer that a little bit.

I think I actually think I'm glad that you put it that way because I actually think it both are equally important. We don't live on an island by ourself. It's important that we ask questions. But it's also important that we don't just ask questions and we put action to to figure things out. You're not gonna figure things out by looking at a screen.

Honestly, you're really not. Or a chalkboard or just staring at somebody. You're gonna figure it out by asking questions and then doing stuff. That's how we figure out just about everything in life, not just careers. Yep.

Now, Sarah now, Sarah, how can people find you? People can find me on my website. That's probably the best way to do it. It's sarahdeacon.com. Very simple.

And there's a fun quiz right on the website, and you can directly go to it at sarahdeacon.com/quiz. But there'll be a pop up, and it's the adult what's your adulting score quiz. So you can you can do the self evaluation right on the website. It's a bunch of it's a real quick, fun little quiz that gets you thinking about the things that might be less fun or more fun about adulting and how how you're how you're doing, how you're measuring up. So sarah deacon, s a r a, no h, sarah deacon dot com.

And that I assume will be in your your show notes Absolutely. Yep. To, to find me. And I'm also all over social media at sarah deacon coach. And she is.

You should follow her because she's kinda funny. I I like to play. I like to if I'm not having fun, then by me saying adulting is fun, you're not gonna believe me if I'm not having any fun. You're right. You're absolutely right.

You're you're absolutely right. Well, Sarah, it's been so much fun to talk to you on and off air. And I thank you for coming on today. Yeah. Thank you so much for having me.

And now for a mind shifting moment. I wanna take a moment and just talk to some of the adults who are listening to this episode. You may have made a career choice a long time ago that you're now stuck in or you feel stuck in. I want you to take go back and listen to this episode again, and start applying the principles of what we talked about to yourself. It is never too late to start a new career.

Now you may have to work while you go back to school or while you take classes or while you educate yourself on whatever your topic is, but it's never too late to make that change that you now realize you should have made a long time ago. Are you in the right career? Just something to think about. Thank you for listening to Mindshift Power podcast. Please like and subscribe to my YouTube channel at the mind shifter.

If you have any comments, topic suggestions, or would like to be a guest on the show, please visit fatimabay.com/podcast. Remember, there's power in shifting your thinking. Tune in for next week.