KOSHER BUGS

We recorded this a month ago.   Sam was out of town for a while but now back to the weekly cycle for all you beautiful content starved hooligans 

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Alright, sick. Here we are eating grapes. Mmm. Grapes. It's nature's candy. Ha ha ha ha! I can't believe I'm sitting with... What? Uh, um, uh... Fuck, I'm s... Please forgive me if we... I'm not a racist, I just... Forgot your, your Arabic name. My Arabic name? Oh. Waleed. Waleed! Oh, you, you found that article. Yeah. Fake news. It just proves that it's fake news, no?

There's a full article about you on CNN. I just love eating grapes into the microphone. I like it though. It feels disrespectful to the audience. I don't know. Some people like the ASMR aspect. I guess that's true. I feel like it was disrespectful at one point, but now it's like, go see grapes. I wish the roach was back.

That crunchy roach. Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy. You know, the Asians, they have it right. With deep fried bugs, it's not racist. You go to the market, this marketplace for a deep fried bug. First of all, rednecks, that's Matthew. Okay. They have deep right. Um, locust. Have you ever seen those?

The rednecks too? Yeah. If you go to like a country general store, anywhere out of the city, you'll find like. Different types of grasshoppers. Well, I don't know if it's grasshoppers, it's locusts. Really? Yeah, deep fried locusts. Flavorings on it like dill, pickle, spice, locusts. Crunchy and filled with protein.

This is Hashem's hot tub. Once again, we're eating bugs. Yeah, but you know what, Hashem, doesn't mind if we eat bugs. Because... Are bugs kosher? So I learned growing up in yeshiva that Bugs are not kosher. So much so, that if you go to the mikveh holding some sort of bug it's, you're not, it's not good. You have to be completely clean.

Bugless at the mikveh. Bugless. Also, you know, we're super neurotic with our leafy greens. Must be checked under a light. A special light. A bug checking light. If they find the tiniest speck of a bug, get the fuck outta here. The whole... No, it's not, it's not. I don't think so. I think they just take it off.

They wash it off. Oh, yeah. They just wash it off, right. But my point is that Judaism is very bug phobic. However, apparently there's one, uh, breed of locust. No one really knows where it is. It's kosher. It doesn't make any sense. There's one kosher bug. There's one kosher grasshopper. It makes no sense. I don't know.

Weird. But nobody knows which, which bug it is? Some sort of, you know, grasshopper in Egypt. I think that like, here's my like theory on it, that before the, before uh, Moses brought the Torah down to the Jews, the Jews were accustomed to living their Egyptian lives. And I'm sure some, some Nile locust was like a delicacy that they were not willing to part with.

Right, they're like, I'm not leaving. Moses is like reading the commandments. He's like, Guys, can we all agree that pigs out of the, uh, yeah, yeah, pig, we don't really need it. One guy's like, no, but I love my bacon. You know, but, uh, Concessus, all, all in favor say aye. And then, and there's more ayes. Yeah. And then they're like, okay.

Motion's, uh, passed. On to the next creature. We have the West Nile grasshopper. No, no, no, no! We love it! All in favor say aye. Nay! Nay! Brr! Brr! Nay! Okay, motion passed, grasshopper will stay. But, no one's gonna know what it is or how to even check if it's kosher. We've lost it to time. I also heard that in the times of the messiah, pigs will become kosher.

Really? Yeah, that's what I learned. That's what I was taught. So there's a point at which... There's a point at which Jews start eating bacon. Now here's a couple of things that I have on my mind. How do we know? Like, how do we know when that moment comes? Well, I think the moment is here now, and I'll tell you why.

I was listening to a podcast with this, some sort of scientist. I can't, his name is God Saad.

God. Sadd? Yeah. G A D. Okay. G as in golf. O, Oscar. D Delta. Sods. His name is God. Yeah. Gadd. God. Well, one of the tribes, 12 tribes. One of them, his name was, name was God. I'm actually named after one of the tribesmen. Really? Yeah. My middle name is Dan. Done? Mm. You're Sam. There's no Trist man named Sam, but there was a Heschel.

New was a hessel. Yep. He was a shoe pedaler in the old Shtetl. Really? Mm-hmm. . Is that a real story? It's a real story. I don't know that story. Hessel. There's a few hessel. There's Hessel, the fish monger. He would monk those fish and every morning at 6:00 AM he would call to the people at the streets fish, fresh fish, and he would like bang his fish, ballad and all the.

Townspeople used to line up for hours just to get some of Heschel's fish. Woah. Ladies and gentlemen, just in case you don't know what I'm talking about, Sam's middle name is Heschel. Well, Hebrew middle name. Hebrew middle name is Heschel. So, we're just telling a story of Sam's old grandpa from Europe. A town in Poland named Kaminer.

Common. Kaminer? Kaminer. We're gonna, one day we're gonna have, actually we're gonna have, uh, a movie about his life. Yeah. We're gonna record this podcast from Poland. I'll be down. Anyways, so pig, right? Back to pig. Pig is kosher. So, Godsad said, why is pig not kosher? Because, back in the day, people would eat pig and they'd drop dead.

Not right away, but they'd get sick. Today we know, pigs carry a lot of bacterial and fat, bacteria and disease, right? Ringworm, I don't know the names of the diseases that pigs have. Some sort of diseases that can kill you. So does shellfish, right? Like people can die from eating a bad batch of clams. Yeah.

So, but today we know, today we have the, uh, technology to know if a, if a pig is, you know what I'm saying? Like we, we, we know. So because we, we, because eating pig is now generally safe, it should be kosher. You're saying that's the, that's the, uh, that's the theory. Now, mom, if you're listening to this podcast, no, I don't eat pig.

I've never eaten a pig in my life. No, actually. No, I've never eaten a pig in my life. Really? You've never had bacon? Mm hmm. Never. Wow. Yep. It's been a few months since I've had pig. And... Sometimes... I... Miss it. I don't like pine for it. You don't pine for pig? No, but, but, especially at an Asian restaurant, sometimes something on the menu has pork, and you're like, oh, that looks like the best thing on this menu.

Like pork adobo? Is that a thing? That's uh, that's uh, al pastor pork is Mexican. But like, Asian restaurants love pork. They love pork whatever. Yeah, I hear you. You know my roommate. My roommate was sizzling up some bacon last Sunday. Yeah. And that bacon smelled so good. Yeah, bacon smells amazing. And they asked me if I wanted some, and I said, Yeah.

Really? But I didn't eat it. Cool. Cause this is Hashem's hot tub. Amen, brother. I don't know why Jews hate pigs. It's like in the, you can't eat a... It's like something about the feet, right? Like it's got hooves. You can't, it's got split hooves, right? You know what it is? I'll tell you what it is. A pig they say is an unca.

Uncleaned. It's an, it's a, it's a filthy animal. It wallows in its own filth. No. Is that really true? I don't know. I'm not a farmer, but I've heard that pigs number one. They only wallow in the mud to protect themselves from the sun. If it's like super sunny out and heat, right, they'll like get in the mud to cool off.

Which we do in the Dead Sea. That makes a lot of sense to me. I've literally seen Jews do it in the Dead Sea. Yeah, of course, Jews and pigs are similar. Let's go, another, you Jew pig, thank you. Maybe that's why, because it's like too similar. Oh my god. Too much overlap. Yeah, and uh, oh and also I heard pigs are very smart.

They're like, of those, they're like, just as smart as dogs. Yeah, I know that. That they're very smart. And they're like, physiologically pretty similar to humans. So interesting. Which is kind of an interesting So are elephants. Elephants are? And, and whales. Are elephants kosher? See, elephants are not kosher, but I have this theory, because I was in Thailand, and I had this connection with an elephant.

Yeah. I'm sure many people, people have had, had this connection. I just like Peered into this elephant's eyes and I saw its pain. We went to this like, backyard elephant ride place. Where they poke the elephant with a stick with a nail in it. That's dark. And for like 10 minutes I was just staring into this elephant's eyes.

And I felt its sorrow. Wow. Maybe I was projecting. Elephants really have strong emotions. I was communicating with the elephant. And I literally started crying when I got on his back. I, I got off. I couldn't, I stayed on because I was like, I'm on an elephant. I should have gone off. That's the truth. I don't know why I didn't.

I was an idiot. I'm sorry. But never again, unless the elephant gives me permission, but like, I don't know. There's some animals out there that are almost human beings in a way. Other than the fact that they don't have the language and they, you know, but, you know, elephants can paint and they're very family oriented and they, I observe different They can paint.

Yeah. You never saw that There's an elephant that paints no painting. Elephant. Yeah. It paints a picture. It paint, it paints, elephants like it you, you give it like a paint brush, it paints an elephant. It's really cool. Wow. It's amazing. Whoa. Yeah, so I, you know, my point is, is like going on eating animals, right?

Like sometimes I don't want to eat animals. I think we discussed this maybe last week. Yeah. But, then again, I live in the city, and I don't want to, I don't want to have a bad diet, and, and like, and I feel like your food is, your, food is the medicine, and food is, food is mood, you know, and I don't, I hope to one day come to a healthy relationship with food, and, and uh, live in harmony.

Do you feel like you have an unhealthy relationship with food? Yes. Yes, and no. Thank you. I do feel like I have an unhealthy relationship with food because I live in the city and I rely on getting food from grocery stores. However, whereas, sorry, whereas, if I lived in a, you know, in the country, then I could be more in harmony with my food.

Growing it, you know, planting it, sowing it. Oh, interesting. See, I never actually think about that. Like, I guess I...

I never, I guess I'm just like so used to living in this modern world where food is purchased at grocery stores and all that, but I never even consider, like, it'd be nice to grow my own food, but I'm never like, Oh, it's this, Oh, it's that. Yeah. Well, here's, here's like a proof. Yeah. If you go to places where they grow their own food, their community is stronger because the community is built around the food.

For example, when they have, you know, summer harvest, right? People are more in relation to it. I can't speak English right now. My brain just fogged up. But, like,

I mean, unless you have a family, you're inviting people, and you have neighbors, you're inviting people over for dinner. But like, you know, when you grow food, there's a tendency to want to, like, share that. You know, my aunt, she used to grow, like, cucumbers and tomatoes in her backyard in Brooklyn. And she'd always like post it on the group, like, Hey, look at the bounty I harvested from my backyard.

Yeah. And then she would like bring it over. It was like a thing, you know? It's like, you want to share it. Yeah, there is something like very community oriented about it. My dad makes sourdough bread. Yeah. And he want, and every time he makes sourdough bread, he like, he shares it. He like, It's so interesting.

He like, goes to random neighbors who like, we never talked to and he brings them a loaf of sourdough bread. I mean, I get it. Like, I had such a joy last week cooking Shabbat dinner for all, for all those people. That was awesome. And then I shared it. I kept, I was sharing it for days afterwards. I had multiple meals with like leftovers.

Oh, you had leftovers? A ton. Wow, man, that's amazing. Another whole tray of that chicken. Really? Yes. How many people were you expecting? I just wanted to make a lot of food. I hear that. Sam, you're a good man. I honestly saw a new level of you that Friday night. No way. Yeah. Community, man. That was really beautiful.

That was really beautiful. What a great night. Yeah, you brought everyone together. And, uh, got to meet some really cool people. Except for Larry. Oh yeah, we don't talk about Larry. Nah, but you have such a rich, diverse group of friends, you know. Yeah. It's really beautiful. It's a good, it's a good group. And it's not even like a cohesive group, it's just like, I feel very blessed to have a lot of different people in my life.

Yeah. I used to have that in L. A. when I was living in L. A. Yeah. I feel like I had that. Here, I feel like I don't have it. I don't have that here. I've lost it. I'll get it back one day. When I find, when I, I mean, hopefully. Turn around. So, uh, what's on the mind, Sam? Well, I'm going to Germany this, this weekend.

Um, for two weeks ish for work. And I'm a little bit, I'm excited. A little bit scared. A little bit intimidated. Um. You know, I was in Germany for the first time about 4 months ago, 5 months ago, maybe 6 months ago. I was there for about 17 hours on a layover. And it was the worst 17 hours ever. Where were you?

Where in Germany were you? Frankfurt. Okay, go on. What was so bad about that? Well, the first thing that happened was... Okay, so we land, we land, get off the plane, and it's, and it's, you know, it's one of those situations where you like have a staircase on the tarmac, so you're like getting off onto the staircase, and I, and I, and I come out of the plane, and I'm, and I'm looking around at the scenery, and you know, you kind of take this moment in a moment like this where you're like, oh, this is, this is a new place that I've never been before, so this, oh, this is that place, oh, this is, you know, Bangladesh, or like, oh, this, this is Germany, wow.

And it was interesting, because I had never, I didn't think about this at all, and I rarely think about the Holocaust at all. But when I had this moment, a realization that I was physically in Germany, I was overcome with rage, total rage flowed through me. And I was like, flipping the ground up. Wow. Fuck you, Germany.

That's amazing. I was like, amazing. When I say amazing, cause maybe there's some Germans listening. I'm amazed, not at that, Sam, you did that. I'm amazed that that came out of you. I was amazed. In that moment, I was Like you didn't, like you didn't, uh, like you don't think about the Holocaust, right? I don't think about it ever.

Ever. But like, but the moment that I was like present in that physical space, it like something deep inside of me like bubbled to the surface. Wow. Deepens in the recesses of your subconscious. Totally. That's incredible man. It was, it was really, really wow and it took me by surprise. And then um, and then it just kept getting more fucked up like, like I, I quickly found out afterwards.

That I had lost my camera. I left it on the plane. Oh no! Um, and it was like, it was a camera that I had purchased for work. And my boss was with me, so it was like very embarrassing. You couldn't get off the plane? I had already gotten off the plane. I was like... Through customs couldn't, they couldn't go back on the plane.

I tried talking to a thousand people. It's so fucked up how they do that. Like, like, nope. Once you off the plane, you can't go back on. Yes, you can. All you gotta do is go onto the plane. I, I tried talking with 10,000. The plane is still there. People, they, they would, not even people are assholes sometimes.

They really are. They really were. I just want, I want to continue this, I just wanna make a side, little side thing. Yesterday I went to see Cigar Ross at the uh, Beacon Theater, incredible band, amazing music. Highly recommend it. And, and, and, and, and all the spa, all like the food vendors there were, were like Pepsi.

So everything was like Pepsi brand. It's like Frito Lays and Twizzlers and m and ms and like, and like, and like, you know, like sugary soda. They like the like, like they hate us. Like I couldn't drink anything. So I, I asked the guy my, I was parched. I said, can I, can I just get. A small cup of ginger ale. I don't want a whole bottle, because it's like, it's like 60 grams of sugar.

Just a small with ice. And I was expecting the guy to be like, no sir, I can't do that. And thank God the guy was like, you know, he was like, he took the red pill in a way, and he's like, pfft, I got you. Gave me a small glass. Nice. So my point is that there are some people in the world that are Yeah, but people at the German airport were not cool.

It's crazy, like It was not cool. And then, they're being dicks. And then we got, in a cab, and the cab driver was racist. Racist? Yeah, he was like, and he was like a Muslim dude, but he was like saying some racist shit in the cab ride. What was he saying? I don't remember what it was, but I remember just being like totally, Oh, you know what it was?

I was telling him about how I lost the camera and he was like, he was like, yeah, well you're never going to get that back because these immigrants that come and clean the planes, they steal it immediately, everything gets stolen, like, you can't trust anybody these days. There's so many immigrants. You're like, was a brown guy in Germany, so I was like, what's happening?

And then, yeah, I was just fucked up. And then we like, we got to this like terrible hotel in this. Weird industrial part of Frankfurt and then Ended up walking like 45 minutes to get to the one restaurant that was open nearby. It was just bad So anyway, it sounds like the worst movie ever but you know, I'm excited to go to Germany work is not a segue right there Like well work is taking me there, which is like cool.

You know, it feels like there's a reason for me to be going which feels significant and I have a lot of friends who are currently in Berlin, like, hanging out. So, I think it'll, I think it'll be a fun time. But I'm going to Germany. Um, and what else? You're gonna have a blast. I think I'm gonna have a blast.

Let me tell you something, every time I travel, anywhere, I get nervous. Pre travel jitters. Totally. It took me, it took me like a week to book the, I booked the flight yesterday. Right. I used to not get nervous. I used to just get on a plane and go, but in my current age... And mindset, I get so nervous, like what can go, everything, just think everything can go wrong, you know?

Yeah, and then you go and it's like totally great. Like I'll lose all my money in Germany and then I'll be like, I'm fucked, I gotta stay here and become a citizen of Germany. You know what I'm saying, which is like, so be it, if I have to, I'll do it. If I have to become German, I will. But let me tell you, my experience in German, my German layover was incredible.

Really, you had a great German layover? I had such a great layover. Oh, that's cool. I don't remember where I was coming from. I have no idea where I was coming from. That's so weird. I have no recollection. But I remember flying Air Austria. And I remember, like, the stewardess was going up and down the aisles.

She was coming, asking people if they want tea or coffee. And she said, Tea or coffee? And people that she assumed were German, she said,

You know, whatever. Kaffee? Yeah. And then the people in German would be like, Kaffee? Kaffee? Milch? You know, Zucker? Or whatever. I don't know. So I was like, curious. Like, what's she going to say when it comes to me? What'd she say? So she comes to me, and she asks me in German, What do I want? So I said, in my best German, Because I just listen to everyone around me, I said, Kaffee.

But not, I don't know, like, Kaffee. Whatever. And she goes, Milk. Milk. Yeah, milk. She goes, You know, zuka, how many, zwei, zwei, I don't know, whatever. And then she asked me another question. And I like, blink, blinked at her. And she's like, I'm like, uh, and I just, the jig is up. I was like, I don't speak German, I'm sorry, I'm an American.

She got so upset. Upset? Yeah, not like upset, she like rolled her eyes, you know. Oh, she was like this fucking guy. Ah, amerikanisch, scheisse. Anyways, so that was cool. Land in Germany, in Berlin, and bro, it was like 6am. Man, everyone was drinking beer at 6am. Really? Even the cab drivers. No way. They're posted up outside, clinking a lager with their friends.

Good morning! Post! Chugging down a beer. And at this time I was religious. I was, I was a religious Jew. Wow. And I thought, well I have to put on my tefillin. Where am I gonna put on my tefillin? Yeah. So I clambered throughout the airport trying to find a spot to like hide. And I couldn't find a spot. And I don't know where I got this energy from.

I was like, fuck it. Fuck it! I fucking just put on my tefillin outside. In the front of the airport, in the most like open area in the world. Wow. In Germany, I put my hand on my eye. I am like, Shiba. I was like, you know, I was just like, screams bad, screaming bad ass, bro. That's coolest fit. I was like, fuck it.

You know? Like, I don't get, you know, like, I'm just gonna do that. And I had, it was like a wave of energy. I think it was more like the rush that I got from it. That's epic though. It was epic. That's courageous. I know what my, my, my, uh, layover is not so long. Yeah. I don't know, maybe three hours. So I didn't really get to explore Berlin.

Frankfurt sounds like one of those like depressing industrial places. It was depressing. You know, like, like, you know, I'm pretty stoked. I think it's gonna be cool. Um, it's gonna be awesome. You're gonna, also Germany in this time of year, beautiful now. Yeah, I'm like stoked. I don't, I don't even know, I'm gonna stay for two weeks, I think, and.

Heck, you might even live there. I'm gonna have to extract you from Germany. Fall in love with some Fraulein. Yeah, that'd be dope. Frau. Whatever, FRA er, you know, I met this German girl the other, like a few weeks ago. She was my, not Germans, she wasn't even German. Okay. I met this woman a few, like a few months ago.

She was my, my friend's girlfriend and she was telling me how she's German and like by descent or like she's actually German. No, by descent. Like, okay. Like she spends her summers in Germany. 'cause like her grandmother lives there and I'm thinking to myself, wow, like your grandmother lives in Germany after the war.

And she's like, yeah. And. she's her. She's my, she's my friend's girlfriend. My friends, like he's not orthodox anymore, but he used to be like a mad orthodox individual. He went to like yeshiva like super, I'm like just like, and she's like, yeah, my grandfather was in the war. He was captured by the Soviets.

Oh no, he's a Nazi. Exactly. I like him. I'm like, Oh, so you're like very naively. I'm like, Oh. So your grandfather's a Nazi. Dude, that's epic. My friend Mayor, he starts laughing. Oh my god, he went there. And she got so embarrassed. I don't care. I really don't care. I don't know why. Is that bad? My grandfather was in the Holocaust.

He was. He lost his whole family. It enrages me too. But at the end of the day, I love people. I think to myself, if I was ever, God forbid, but I can see myself in the lines in Auschwitz. Just loving on the, on everyone. And then they're like pushing me, like, get it, like what are you looking at? And I'm just like, with tears in my eyes, you know?

Like, I love you man. I love you. You know? Oh my gosh, I would be so, and he kicks me into the gas incinerator and disappear. Would that's, do you really think so? I hope so. I hope I, I can die with, with immense love in my heart. That's the truth. I feel like I would be so angry. If I was in that position. You know, there's a time and place for anger, but not all the time.

Anger is useful as a tool. Is Auschwitz not that time? No, I'll tell you what it is. It's like,

there's a time to be angry, but, you know, it's also tragic for Germans, too. You know, like Germans have to walk around with like, uh, disdain that they were all murderers, you know? It's, it's, it's, it's, both sides are affected, you know? It's not just one. It's both sides. And I'm not, and I'm not justifying. I'm not saying that like, let's, you know, kumbaya.

No, I am saying kumbaya. Obviously, that's ultimate. But, you know, we're all human beings. At the end of the day, we're all human beings of the same planet, this planet Earth, which is one spaceship floating through space. And it's, it was a very unfortunate part of history and, and we have to learn from it. We have to learn where humans, human emotions can bring us to and You know, like the, the heart of, the line of good and evil lies in the heart of every man.

But ultimately, you know, I really do believe in, in love. And I know, I don't care if it sounds cliche. I just want to love on everyone. Every single person I see, you know, I just, like, I just feel like, because think about it, when you were younger, when you were a kid, when did you feel like the most loved, safe, you know?

Think about, you're a baby, you know, and like you got hurt and you run to your mom or something like that. I don't know how your mom was, but I imagine your mom was very loving. And if your mom wasn't loving, then there was somebody in your life that was very loving on you. Maybe a babysitter, maybe a grandmother, maybe uh, I don't know.

Yeah. Maybe your dog. Do you have a dog growing up? No. Right. So your mom didn't really, I'm joking. I didn't have a dog either. I, we got a dog when I was like 15. Oh wow. That's a late, late in life dog. Yeah. We like had to petition our parents for many years. Wow. At least you guys won. What kind of dog was your dog?

Malty Poo. What is that? She was like a Maltese and a poodle. It's a very small dog. Is she still alive? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. What's her name? Chloe. You like Chloe? I love Chloe. Oh wow. I love Chloe so much. How old is Chloe? Wow, that's old. Yeah. How is she doing? She's, you know, for 12, very good. Who, who takes care of her?

My mom. Your mom? And my dad, but mostly my mom. She knows how, she's like very regimented with... Oh yeah, like, taking care of Chloe is like my mom's number one. It's amazing! Moms can never stop being moms. Totally true. Wow, you know, I had a friend, his name is, I have a friend, his name is Noam, and he, and... I remember I used to go to his house and he, he, he had a dog named Molly.

She was like a poodle, a Labrador mix. Yeah. And his mom had like, different like Tupperware, you know, labeled with dates, Molly's, you know, first meal. It was like, she took care of this dog, like it was, unfortunately it had cancer and passed away. But, I would, it's cool, like your mom is, uh. That's awesome.

Yeah, I guess so. Does she like, give it rigorous attention? Yeah, nah, she's a little too old for walks these days. I mean, she walks. Who, your mom or your dog? My dog. She used to walk. I mean, she walks, but she doesn't, like, go for a walk. She, like, you know, kind of... She goes for a stroll? Walks to the end of the driveway and back and takes a pee and then goes back to the couch.

Oh, God. She's a... She's a lazy dog. Lazy dog. Dude, dogs are descendants from wolves. Now they're, like, these tiny little... These little, tiny fluffballs. So wild. That's so funny, dude. We domesticated them. And we turned them into, like, these little nothingness. You're so cute. They are so cute. Would you, let me ask you a question, Sam.

Now that you live in Brooklyn. Yeah. Would you get a dog or a cat? Would you get an animal for your apartment? No. Nothing? Why? It's too much responsibility. I want to be free. That's why you're not married, Sam. I'm just joking. No, it's like, it's like, hey, if I had a dog, like, I would need to be constantly worried about, like, How's the dog doing?

Do I take care of it? Does it need to be fed? Does it need to be walked? Do I need to get home for the dog? It's too much. I want to be able to like, you know, go out and not worry about my home and my apartment. What about a cat? Cats? I don't trust them. What about a lazy, fluffy, good boy, cat that just sits on the couch and purrs and when you get home it like runs over to you and...

Meows and you give it scratches and then it like gets on its belly and it like does weird I don't know. I'm not like, I'm not like a no, but I don't trust them. I don't trust them. Really? I like cats. Cats I feel like are too, there's too much going on. Well, they're predators. They're like, they come from, they, they're descendants of lions.

Yeah, and they're like, they're just too like, They know too much. They like, they pay attention to shit. Like, they think too much. Oh, man. So what type of girl do you want to marry? That's such a good segue. What do you mean? What do you mean? What type of girl do you want to marry? Personality wise. Oh my gosh, interesting.

Someone like, very strong willed and, and powerful but deeply kind. Wow, so, kinda like a cat but not, cats are not, I don't think cats are kind and compassionate, right? So like a, like a love, like a cat who has kind and compassion built into its operating system. I don't know if, I don't know if we need to be comparing them to cats.

Nah, I'm, I'm, well. Cause a person you could talk to, a cat's just like, freaking, like, judging you and shit. Not all cats are judging you and shit. You've just, you've just met the wrong cats. I don't know, I've met some cats. Cats are either like judging you or they're just like crazy and trying to like test your limits.

Listen kid, you spend the day with me, I'll change your mind. I'll send you, I'll show you cats you've never seen before. Cats! I did like the movie Cats. I never saw it. It was pretty good. I heard it sucked. I loved it. Really? I loved it. Didn't it get like the worst reviews ever? Yeah, but I loved it. Why? Um, I saw it, I took an edible with my sister on Christmas day.

Yeah. We got... Chicken teriyaki from the food court in the mall. Oh no, you can't, that's stereotypical Jewish right there. And we snuck it into the movie theater. That's amazing though, I like that. And we saw cats and it was fucking awesome. Wow, you snuck teriyaki chicken into the movie theater and saw cats on Metaedibles?

Absolutely. That's epic bro. It was epic, it was so good. It was like the most blessed thing. So what did you love about the movie? Was it just the vibe that you brought in teriyaki? It was the whole thing. The movie was like fun and weird and I love musicals, I really do. Yeah. So I just thought it was cool.

That's so interesting.

I like that. I like that. Do you think Ryan Gosling's career is finished? No. After, uh, Barbie? Why would it be finished after Barbie? No. Oh. I don't know. Watch Barbie, we'll talk about it on next episode. What, do you think he was fantastic in Barbie. I just think that the whole messaging of Barbie was a little too much.

Too much, uh, lecturing. Not enough, like, you know, like... I just want to watch this movie and not think about things. I never saw it. I mean, I actually have a friend who told me that Barbie, that the messaging was not enough. Oh God, stay away from that friend. Ha! That friend is toxic. It was so intense. Really?

What was all about the patriarchy and how it's toxic. That's it! That was the message of Barbie. Yeah? Yeah, and there was a lot of funny parts to it too. It looks fun. Will Ferrell. Was the best comedic relief in that movie ever. Straight up. He was awesome. Will Ferrell? Amazing. Who else is funny? Hmm, that's it, right?

Will Ferrell was amazing in the movie. Will Ferrell was the star of Barbie. He does not get enough credit. Ryan Gosling's cool. He's cool, funny, good looking guy, but like in a day, I don't know. I think he's a good actor. He's great. I like him. I like Ryan Gosling. You know he owns a restaurant in like, in like Beverly Hills.

I believe it. It's called Taheen. It's like a Moroccan restaurant. Really? Yeah. He like, like, when he's not acting, he just likes to like, Hang out? Cook, and like, and talk to people at his restaurant. That's pretty sweet. That's pretty awesome, I'm not gonna lie. Dude, he's a good looking dude, Ryan Gosling. Yeah.

Guys, I'm gonna stop fanboying over Gosling. I just thought like, did he just kill his career when he did that movie? Cause he was in Drive, remember Drive? He can't kill his career. That movie was amazing, Drive. Yeah, that's an amazing movie. But when you're Ryan Gosling, you can't kill your career. Do you remember movies were just movies?

Yeah. Before they were messages. Movies could be messages for sure, right? But like, you have to have a good balance. And I think Barbie was like a little bit overtly a message more than... More than a movie. Well, the truth is you got to watch it. Speaking of messages, as I eat these grapes. Yeah. So last night, I got home very late.

It was like after midnight, um, and I Went to the bodega around the corner, and I bought some grapes, and I bought a kombucha. Those are brownies that my mom made. That's amazing. Go on while I taste your mom's brownies. I bought, I bought, I bought a bunch of grapes, and I bought a kombucha. 10 bucks. So I want, I wanna best It was, it was like nine bucks.

Yeah. Fucked up man. Yeah, it was a little fucked up. Really fucked up. But at last I bought it and, and I was walking home around the corner, and this, this woman stops me, you know, she, she doesn't look quite homeless, but she looks, but she's like, stops me in this way that she's like, clearly looking for something.

And she's like, she's like, I'm so, so sorry. She's like, she goes in, she goes into the speech that felt very rehearsed. She's like, she's like, I'm so sorry to stop you. I'm, I'm a, I'm a queer woman. And, and I'm not asking you for money, and I'm not asking you for, for anything like that. I just like, I really wanna, like, like, she was like, she was like, if you could just like, please, if you have the heart, if you have the time, if you could accompany me to the store, just a specific item that I need, that I would love for you to help me with.

And she's like, and I'm like, I'm like, what's, what do you need? Like, what, what do you need? And she just like, she keeps like going, Oh wait, well, I don't want to take up your time, and, And I'm like, I'm like, I'm just gonna stop her, What are you looking for? Like, what, like, what? Like, I don't, I don't want to go there if she's gonna like, Have me buy like, something like, crazy and exorbitant, But if it's something chill, like, I'll, whatever.

And she goes, she goes, Well, she goes, uh, If I could just get, like, a little bundle of grapes. And, And that was Did you say bundle? Whatever. That's a cute word. Okay, go on. And, and, and, and I pull out these grapes that I just purchased. Wow, that's amazing. I was like, grapes? And she lit up, she was grapes! Wow.

And I handed her the grapes, and she was so grateful. She was, would you say she was grateful?

She was grateful. She was very grateful. And um, and then we just like, we just, we were like kind of talking. She was like, she was drunk. She was like, she was dancing when she got the grapes. And I was dancing with her on the street. And we were like kind of vibing a little bit. That's amazing. And, and then she was like, she was like, But then like, we kind of kept, we were talking a little bit.

But it was like hard to understand her because she was pretty drunk. And then she just kept like, Kind of following me. You gotta stop eating your mom's brownies. It's so good. You keep eating them. No, it's so good Um, she kept she kept like kind of following me. That's annoying Which I was like a little bit like don't follow me home lady but uh, but then she like she's very serious very serious and she's like She likes starts getting tears in her eyes And she was like she was like You are one of the most productive members Of this society

That's so weird. . And I honor you. Wow. I love that. And you have such a big heart and you mean so much to the world. And I honor you. And I was like, so touched. And it was weird too because I like when the, the weirdest thing was first saying you did one of the most productive members of society. Yeah. Great choice of words.

It was a great choice of words. And it was also, it's also something that I have a tremendous anxiety about all the time. Yeah, I get it. It's like, it's a major point of like, of like deep inner turmoil for me. Am I producing enough? Am I doing my part? Am I, am I, am I doing my part? Am I producing enough? Am I, am I helpful?

Am I useful? Am I working hard enough? Cause the truth is I don't feel like I am most of the time. Most of the time I feel like I'm kind of chilling out. I feel like hanging out, seeing friends. Eating food, like, whatever. I don't, I don't feel like I'm like busting my ass. I get it. And, so it's like very, it felt like this weird kind of cosmic joke to have this like total stranger on the street look me in the eyes and I was like the, like the first thing that she said was you were so, you were the most productive member of society.

Dude, you know, I believe in the, I really believe in the magic. Excuse me. I believe, I believe when you enter this certain space of being, of your own being, magic presents itself to you as a affirmation from the universe that you're, that you're doing, you're doing great. And it's when things are not going your way that, that you're fighting it, you know?

So like, as you're telling the story, I'm a sucker for homeless people's stories. Yeah, I give them all my money. Same. I've given them, I've given to homeless people my last dollar. 100%. I'm like, I don't even, I'm giving you my last dollar and my friends wouldn't make fun of me for it. And I, and I get, and I, and I agree with them.

It's like, it could be a weakness. I'm not sure. You know, I started doing this thing. It comes from empathy. Where, agreed. I started not giving the final dollar in my wallet. Yeah, that's, might be a good thing. And it's not, it's not even like a like, oh, I don't want to give away this dollar. It's like, it feels like kind of a spiritual thing.

Definitely, because money is spiritual. Yeah, and it feels like, it feels like, okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna keep a little bit of energy for myself. I'm not gonna give away everything. Yeah, energy. That's what it is. You know, it's so interesting, homeless people, not all homeless people, there are some cool homeless people out there that are like, they just want to live homeless and like, they're good.

They're just, you know, when the world ends, they know how to survive. But then there's like the, um, I don't know what they are. It's like, they always carry around a tiny violin wherever they go. Poor me, you know like those type of those type of like the sob story homeless people Yeah, and I think it's like a story that just like they got trapped in you know It's a bad story that they got trapped in victim mentality and like Excuse me, sir But if you could just spear some shit, you know, and then I'm thinking to myself like my god You are the greatest salesperson in the world And if, and obviously you can apply that skill into selling stuff because I'm giving you my last dollar, you know what I'm saying?

Like that sales right there on a fundamental level, right? Storytellers move the world and whoever's the best storyteller moves is the most is moves the moves the most of the world. So if this homeless person is telling you a story now, I'm not saying that your experience is actually I think your experience is magical.

And the reason why I think your experience is magical is because of the grapes. A hundred percent. But if there was no grape factor, then, like, as you were telling me the story, I was like, Oh God, here we go again. You know, sob story, pulling on my strings, here's my last dollar. You know, I think it's like, I hate myself for it.

Right. But, No, but what she, of all things, grapes, and I just purchased grapes? Yeah, you just purchased a bundle of, a bushel of grapes. Yeah, like, it was wild. And you know what? Yeah, and then after you guys were like dancing with her, and like, not you guys, you, were like, you know, shaking your booty. Yeah. With the grape lady.

Yeah. And then she like, stops and she says, You are the most productive member of society. I honor you. Yesterday I had something similar, I like, went to my car to like, get something, and this homeless woman was like, Excuse me, but I just need, I'm homeless, and I, and she was telling me a whole spiel, and I was like, in my head like, No!

And she's like, and I would very much like to have a cheeseburger tonight, and I just thought that was so funny. So I gave her money. I was like, here you go. I don't want to hear your story. You're struggling. You have no money. I have some shackles in my pocket. I have some money in my pocket. Here you go.

That's it. No question. Yeah. If you can help somebody, help them. And you know what happens when you do? When you do that, I find, you get this good feeling that comes to you. You help somebody. I'll never forget. Um. So when I was studying in Spot that's mystical, um, I was at, uh, Shara. I was on the portrait.

Shara Av She was teaching. Did you see his new podcast that he was he put out recently? Yeah. I watch everything out. She puts out, no, but he was, he he, he was interviewed by I know. I saw it. Saw it. I didn't see it. My mom said it to me again. I watched it. Go on. Um, So Avshi, Avshi's teaching this, teaching this class.

Dude, you should invite Avshi to the next Shabbat meal you do. Oh my god, if I have With everyone here! With all those people, dude? Yes. It would change the world. Yes! It would change the world, dude. You should bring the most like, like everyone. Queer, this, and... Every color of the rainbow should be in your apartment, you know?

Like we're, you know, we're conjoined queer twins, you know, whatever. Anything, you think about it, they're here. You know? And then, oh, she's just like here giving his, she or like... Whatever, you know? Oh my gosh, just shining a light. That's like putting, yeah, okay, go on. Oh my gosh, so... So, so we're, we're, whatever, he's teaching the class and, and, uh, like, local homeless guy who I'd seen, uh, throughout Svat, he, like, kind of, like, stumbles into the shul and he comes, and he comes out to the, to the, um, to the balcony and, and he, like, just interrupts everything.

Just totally throws a wrench into the whole thing. And he's like, SEDAKA, SEDAKA, SEDAKA! And, and, uh, she... He's just beaming. He's so excited this guy is here. He's like, ah, you're here. Welcome. Welcome. And he, he pulls out from his pocket. He pulls out like a ton of coins. Hands every boy a coin around the table so that we can all give him a coin so that we can get the mitzvah.

Um, for like giving him the tzedakah. And then it was just like, it was just like so cool. Like Avshi was like, he like turns to all of us and he was like, he was like, you would never know by looking at this man, but this man is a sadiq. He's like a true one. Like, like we respect him. Like, and thank you for being here.

And it was like so cool. I was, and I was like, and he was like, and he was like, he said, he said, he said every time that somebody asks you for money, it is. Your responsibility to give them something even if it's a single penny out of your pocket Like it doesn't matter if it's a single penny or a thousand dollars.

It's the same thing just something, you know And and then he said he said it's very important he said he said when he said hand the hand the coin to the guy and then thank him because you gave me the opportunity to do a Mitzvah and and and well, I I've always done that yeah, and it was so shocking to me because All the time I would catch myself like in the streets of New York, some homeless guy, you know, sitting on the corner will ask me for a dollar and I give him a dollar and he goes, thank you, and I say, thank you.

I love Helping people. I, I, I haven't done enough. Yeah, but, but then I would walk away, and I would, and I would think to myself, Why did I just thank him? I gave him the money. Yeah. And then as soon as I actually said that, I knew. Oh, you did that without, you knowing. That's amazing. And I was, I was, I was like, oh, like, that's why I said thank you.

That's beautiful. It's just like an instinctual thing. Yeah, sometimes, like, I help, like, people, like, like women, like, carry their strollers up the subway. Totally. Or, like, heavy bags, and they go, thank you. And I'm like, no, no. Thank you for giving me the opportunity. Right, the opportunity to do something good in the world.

It's cause, you know, what you give is what you get. And you gotta get, there's a good feeling you get after doing it, doing one of those, you know, good deeds. Mr. Deeds. Head of Sound, there's an interesting, uh, uh, movie director, cause all his movies have a theme of like, you know, like, kindness. Yeah. You ever notice that?

Yeah, I guess so. Ha ha ha ha ha. What a segue. I love Mr. Deeds. That's one of my favorites. You know what I'm saying? Every Adam Sandler film has some sort of core message, but his message isn't overt like Barbie. Yeah. The patriarchy and men are bad and we don't need you. It's more of like. Be nice. A funny, funny movie.

And you're not even thinking about the message until years later, like right now, when it just pops in your head. Oh wow. Mr. Deeds. His name is Deeds. He does Deeds. Oh, I didn't even think about that. Adam Sandler is a hidden sodic. A hidden sodic? Adam Sandler is a well known sodic. Probably one of the most famous sodics I don't think he knows he's a sodic.

He doesn't know. But that's how all the great sodics are. I love Adam Sandler. He's, I want to, I want to, I wish I was his friend. Yeah, you could probably find him. Adam, if you're listening to this, could we be friends? You can probably find him. He, like, plays basketball Where does he live? Does he live in New York City?

Yeah. He does? Yeah. Adam Sandler's the guy that, that I would love to hang around in Shul. Like, you go to Shul, there's those, like, there are people that hang outside during the Rabbi speech, they talk, you know. Yeah, he's, he's not, like, listening. He's, he's at Shul, but he's not, like, really gobbling. the Rabbi.

Yeah, he's kind of like, he's out in the hallway, like, waiting for the Kiddush to start. Yeah. He, like, brings a good bottle of, uh, tequila. He's like, hey man, try this tequila I got, you know. Totally, totally, totally. It only costs 2, 000. Wow, Adam, that's so generous of you. Thank you. Oh my gosh. Hey, no problem.

Yeah, we'll get him to the shul once we start it. Wow, that'd be cool if we had a shul. That'd be epic if we had a shul. Bro, you know what, man? We need shuls. We do. Jews do it right with the shuls. It's cute, but sometimes a shul can be really weird. They're really, they're falling apart right now. I mean, there's a school in, like, Crown Heights that I used to go to, and it was cool and all, but it became weird.

Like, it gets weird. It definitely gets weird, and it's like... Places of meeting can get weird. You have to have clear rules. It's really interesting, because I... I was talking to my dad about this last week. Because, um, he was asking me if I was gonna be, uh, if I was gonna be by them for the high holidays. Wow.

Was he asking because he wants to know if he should get you a ticket? Yes. Oh, wow. Your dad's old school. He's like, Sam, am I getting you a ticket? Yeah, that's what I was asking. And I was like, isn't it weird that you have to purchase a ticket to pray on like the holiest day of the year? It's like the World Series for the Jews.

Well, exactly. He was like, this is where the temple makes all of the money. Like, the temple is... Come with me to Barcelona. You're going to Barcelona? I'm going to Barcelona. When? For the holidays. For all of them? I want to, yeah. For real? For real. I have a friend, his name is Fabian Ariel, the light maker. And he's dwelling there right now, writing a book called The Tale of Three.

And, uh, he's got an apartment. And, uh, I'm just gonna go out. Wait, I actually, we'll talk about this off the podcast. Off the air? Because this might make sense for me. Yeah, it makes a lot of sense. For various reasons. Okay. Um. Why? What business do you have in Barcelona? Oh, I have business in Paris. Okay.

Around Alejandro Jodorowsky? Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Can we ask him if we could pray with him? Yeah, I don't think he's religious. He's definitely not he's he's something I want to like reach out to him be like, hey, listen We're coming to you on the holiest day for the jews We need you to do, to perform the services of the temple.

Why do you think that he knows something that you don't? I don't know. I just believe he does. I feel the way about Paulo Coelho. I want to know who that is. He wrote The Alchemist. Wow, okay, yeah. I love that guy. I listen to his podcast. He's amazing. He's like one of my heroes in this world. Yeah, and you know what?

Hopefully we can get him on the pod. That would be amazing. We can. We have to just continue. I'm telling you, my rabbi in TJ, Rabbi Klatsko. Yeah. Klatsko. He always said, God helps those who help themselves, and I never understood it until very recent. Well, I've, until like in the past few years. We're like, you know, the fact that we're sitting here is doing it.

Is enough and we yeah, I mean this is consistent now like we've taken time out of every week for the last two months Wow, dude, you know what when you say about you not being a productive member of society right now You are at this moment. We're creating a space and enter energetically if if Eliana was here.

She would she would concur. She's like look at the You'd see it and she'd be like, yep, he's Checks out. She'd be like the fact checker. Yeah, I'm telling you man. Totally. I feel it right now this space. There's a space There's a Macomb it's called in Hebrew Macomb space. Yeah, I think I just got down on myself because I I Use I use these these metrics of Success and work that don't even make sense to me to define myself.

You know, I mean, it's like it's like if I'm not sitting at my computer or whatever it is for Eight hours a day, grinding on whatever the thing is, like, I feel very anxious about myself. But it's weird because I don't even want to be doing that. I don't feel successful in doing that. And that's never been where I've been successful.

You know, like, this new job that I started, right? My... Wait, where have you been successful? I'm successful when I'm like totally in flow. Okay, Sam, let's make a little pact with ourselves. It's easy for us to forget the truth and to lie to ourselves. It's just like a... Human nature, I guess. Let's get some sort of Like whiteboard where we write out all the times we were successful to us So we can see it, so we don't delude ourselves.

Totally. That's that. Like we have to do it because it's so easy to fall back into the cozy sleep of I don't know the word of just like,

you know, not being aware of choosing to not like see the truth Yeah. And no, I, I do that all the time too. You know, it's like ignorance, I guess. Yeah. And I, and I think, cause I think that I look at, I don't know, I just, I just, I just like, I don't judge myself by fair standards because when, because when I'm successful, it's like, it just comes to me, you know, like, like a flow, like a perfect example, like with this new job.

Right. Like my role at this job is to basically network, drum up business. Make connections with different, like, game developers, um, video game developers, and basically just, like, be a social butterfly in the industry on behalf of our company. Dude, that sounds like the best job ever. I'm loving it so far, right?

But, but there are points, like, day to day where I'm not really sure what I can be doing, you know, like, like, like, I'm, like, on these, these forums, these message boards, trying to talk to people, whatever, it's, it's not always successful, it's, like, very virtual, it's very, like, not where it's at. But, so, so sometimes I get down on myself, and I'm like, Oh, if I could be doing so much more, like, why am I thinking outside the box, and this and that?

And then, you know, I think about the fact that, uh, Last week, I was able to set my boss and I up on a Zoom call with One of the lead, like, video game strategists at Netflix. It was a huge meeting. That is big. And I was able to set that meeting up because I met this guy at a Shabbos meal.

It's like, I just gotta let go. And it happens. Yo, listen, let me tell you, Sam. It's...

Okay. From my experience, I, I resonate every, with everything that you're saying. Yeah. It's, it sounds like, like I see, I, I see my, I, I feel myself, see myself, experience myself as you're talking, it's like, wow, I know exactly what you're, I know, exactly. Yeah. And it's, and I also feel that that frustration that you have, if I could just do x, if I could just let go.

And in my experience, it's, it hasn't been so easy to just let go. I believe it takes work to do that, and I believe it's gonna take an outside work to do that. Because our minds could be a little bit of a tyrant, in a way. You know? What do you mean by an outside work? Like, your mind is gonna like, there's different sub personalities to your mind.

Mhmm. And the mind that says, Hey. Why can't I just let go is gonna be replaced by another mind that's gonna fall back into this pattern where you're where you're like Feeling uninspired and you're feeling like what am I doing? Mm hmm my life Yeah That's gonna come back And you have and I feel like it's helpful to acknowledge that like yes in a way.

It's like you're a little bit insane We are and I think having someone to work with Whether that's a mentor, whether that's a therapist, whether that's somebody who, who Yeah. Can really help you. No, that's right. I mean, I have been seeing a life coach recently. Yeah. Like a life coach. I've seeing a life coach and a psychiatrist lately too.

Both at the same time. Psychiatrist. Psychiatrist. Wow. But psychiatrists don't, they help you, they give you drugs. So I've been interested in, in drugs, which specific drugs like Adderall. I don't know which one, but like, an ADHD drug. I got it. Let me tell you something, Sam. From the ADHD man himself. It's not about the drugs.

A hundred percent. It's really about... It's really about... This is what I believe, and I could be wrong. I believe it's really about jumping into the deep end of the scary pool with a million sharks in it. And being willing to die. A hundred percent. That's that. And I've always done that. And the ADHD pills are gonna, they're gonna like, help for a little bit, but it's never gonna, it's never gonna give you the...

Uh, I'm, I'm curious, I'm curious what you think about this. Yeah. Cause I, I had this conversation with, with this therapist. It means that you're... No, no, no, let me, let me tell you, let me tell you, cause it's specific. Um, so I, I've been seeing this guy for four or five weeks. I like him at the beginning because I went to him when I was in a bit of a darker place than I am now at first, which was a little over a month ago.

Before this job started, I was in like a very kind of like unsure situation about a lot of things. And I felt like, and I still feel like, something that holds me back is that I really have trouble like laser focusing. If I could spend even two hours a day... Being more focused than my natural state. I get a lot of things that I really want to accomplish done But I don't instead I'm like easily distracted.

I'm easily on the move I want to like do this to see that go here do this eat lunch, whatever I want to move around and so I went to him kind of being like I need help with this specific thing and And you know at first he was like I was basically paying him in it An unreasonable amount of money for him to like show me how to make a schedule and I was like this this ain't it bro Like I can there are way cheaper ways to like buy a planner And then we got into like some schema therapy some stuff like that a little more interesting I still didn't feel like my mind was being blown but that was I think to some degree because I've done a lot of this Internal work already.

I didn't need somebody to kind of come in and like walk me through introspection like I've lived that

We had a talk A few days ago about Adderall, Ritalin, drugs, and I told him my thoughts, which is that I'm not, I've always been opposed, I've always had a naturally, I've always had a, I've always had a conception that psychiatric drugs are generally bad, you know, and granted I have a lot of close, very close friends who Take, uh, daily psychiatric drugs and swear by them and they've saved their lives and they've been a really positive effect.

Um, for me, I've always felt like it's not something that I want to engage in, but I was curious. I am curious. And so I told him this, I told him that I would be interested in a prescription to one of these drugs, but it would be at my discretion when to use it. It would be used as a specific tool, in specific instances, when I feel that the moment in my life that I want to do something is calling for this drug.

It will not be daily, it might not even be weekly. It's just like, for me to use, at my own discretion, when I want to use it. And I thought he was going to be like, that's ridiculous, but he was like, he was like, that sounds reasonable. And then, so now like, when I get back from Germany, we're going to talk about what that means.

Yeah, but you have to have a plan of what you want to accomplish, what you want to focus on. Mm. Without a goal you can't score. Yeah. Bro, and I'm in the same boat as you. I'm not successful, I have a million dreams, and I'm the most unfocused person in the world. Not, I mean, besides for Fran Lebowitz. But I really want to, um, I feel you, I want to do that too.

And I've been on a lot of medication, Adderall. And at the day, for me, it's like, why hasn't Adderall worked for me? It's because I hate my job. That's the reason. I just shouldn't be at the job, but I'm too scared to leave it. And that's the truth. So I'm not saying for you, like, I'm saying for me, like, no amount of Adderall is going to get me to work better.

It's like, oh, why am I not working? If I just apply myself, no, you're not interested in me, right, but I can't I don't want to see that no no no No, because that means I have to like Feel pain so I can get another you know to go to another job or something I'm fucked in the head, Sam. Okay. My point is back with you.

I'm not saying Adderall. Adderall can for sure help. It helps people for sure. But you have to have a plan on what you, what you wanna work on. I, I think that makes a lot of sense to me. And I'll prove to you that you could do with add Adderall, you've been consistently meditating every day. Yeah. Praying right.

And laser focus in that, in that space. That's true. So you, if you, you can do it. It's just like, you know what it is, bro. It's the deep inner resistance that all men must overcome. And when I say men, I'm talking about women, too. It's, it's the Yetzir Hara. That's it. Yetzir Hara. There's a book called The War of Art by Stephen Pressfield.

Talks about it. It's all about, everyone had it. Hitler wanted to be a, this is an extreme example, He wanted to be an artist, where he can make it. So his resistance led him to like, kill 20 million people. Right? My point is that everyone has resistance. Right. And we must overcome and the muse shows up when you sit down and wait for it So when you sit down in the morning and you meditate the muse comes to you You give it space for her to come and flow through you Mmm, you want to write a scream three a screenplay sit down by the coffee coffee shop But you order you have a little ritual or your coffee.

You make a little prayer And you start writing, and you know, it's gonna suck the first few sentences, but you'll get into a flow eventually. Yeah. It's not so easy, I struggle with that too. I struggle, I'm describing something to you from an intellectual perspective, and a little bit of an experiential.

But I lack right now the consistency to do it. And I'm afraid that I'm gonna die, with a lot of unresolved dreams, and God's gonna be very mad at me when I get, get, wherever. He's gonna be like, bro, I gave you so many chances to like, kick ass! You know, and like, hang ten, bro! God's like a server dude, I guess.

And you just kinda missed it, man. Bummer. Yeah, you don't wanna be a bummer. And I'm like, and I pray to God, I'm like, God, please, I know, I know! I'm like, I'm fighting myself. Just help me. To just jump through the flaming hoop of poisoned rattlesnakes and scary dragons and, you know, like, the hero's journey.

Go on the hero's journey. Listen, Sam, you're gonna go to Germany, you're gonna be in a new environment, and you're gonna have clarity there. You really will. Cause new spaces bring new clari opens up a new space for you, cause, for you to, to, you're gonna be a space, a space of openness. Yeah, I think so. In that space, Is where you plan out your course of action that you want to take I I do feel that coming.

I feel like there's gonna be More specificity coming back from germany Not that I don't have specificity now. I feel like i'm on a good path right now at this new job I'm, very glad with how the podcast is going. We're gonna build out that room Very soon by the end of september Yeah, I have some tables.

I want to bring in the grace of god. I can get I think I have something like Good. I, I, I have a specific plan for it. Oh, you do? Okay. Let's then forget it. Let's, I'll explain the plan to you later, but we're gonna have a studio. Is it a Facebook marketplace situation? Maybe. I don't know. But, but the point is that within, within a month, hopefully, We're going to have a studio where we can like do this with video and like, and like really step it up because I feel like I'm very, I'm glad with how this is going and I feel like we're really hitting a stride with our, both our commitment to it and also with our ability just to sit down and like do it well.

Um, and the way that we step it up is to have a studio, to make videos, to put it on TikTok, to do the thing. To really do it. I think we can. I know we can. I'm like so sure of it. Like, like what else is there out there? You know, like I've, I've looked, I've looked at like, like spiritual podcasts. Boring. I looked at Jewish spiritual podcasts.

Extra boring. You know, like, like, like even, even like the, the, the video that you just told me about. Um. Where, where Avshi was interviewed. Yeah, boring. No, I mean, look, like, you can't fuck up, like, talking to Avshi. You're gonna learn something when you, when Avshi opens his mouth. But, like, did I think that there were more interesting questions to be asked, and more interesting conversations to be had?

Abso freaking tively. By the way, those are the people I grew up with. The podcast. Really? That's the community I grew up in. Yeah. Well, guess what? Serious. There's like, so much space. There's so much space to like, come in and just like, kick the can. Kick the hornet's nest. Be a little different. Be a little wild.

I think it comes from a place of telling the truth. Say the truth. Genuine truth. Not trying to like, be anything. Like, I, I just shit on Barbie for the first half hour. Everyone's gonna think I'm a communist. I will say, there were scenes in Barbie that were really beautiful and I cried. Like, I don't want to ruin the movie for you, but there's really beautiful scenes in the movie, gorgeous scenes, very cool, awesome, kick ass scenes.

I just didn't like the, like, you know, I'm a man, I want to work with women. Wait, so you didn't like the anti male message? It wasn't like anti male, it was like overtly, I can't explain it. It was very overtly, like...

I don't know. I don't want to get into it. It's so stupid. It's a movie. What do I care? It's just a movie. It's a cultural touch point. I just like watching movies that are tense. And I feel like Barbie could have been a 10. But they kind of ruined it. I feel like Barbie could have been. I think a lot of people saw Barbie because it was Barbie.

Or they were expecting a whole Barbie film. Also Margot Robbie, you know. Gerwig, so it would be something a little more right. But it wasn't. It was like, it was kind of like, it was kind of, I don't know. You'll see it. We'll discuss it, we'll discuss it next podcast. But, I mean, your friend who said it was not enough, you know, ah, that's a scary friend.

I'll watch it on the plane. Yeah, is it going to be on the, yeah. Who knows. I always cry whenever I watch movies on the plane. You always cry? Yeah, I don't know why. Whenever I watch movies on planes, Yeah. Not like if it's a funny movie, I'm not crying. I never finish them, I just fall straight asleep. Oh my god, dude.

I fall straight asleep on a plane. If I'm listening to music or crying, or like movies on airplanes, I don't know what it is, maybe it's the, the, the altitude? Yeah. I just start bawling. Really? Yeah. Even if it's like Mission Impossible? There's something about Mission Impossible that just gets me going. I actually agree.

Mission Impossible makes me want to cry. Yeah. Cause I, I, you know, I always get attached to store. It's like action movies, like stories, like whatever, whenever there's like, whenever they're like, you know, the hero comes, comes back from the dead and like saves the person or like, or, or like, you know, two, two brothers in arms are reunited or like whatever.

I fall for that. I'm a sucker for that. I forgot what it was. I think it was a kid's movie. And basically it was like a superhero movie and it was actually incredible. I cried so hard by this part. The person who was giving the spy directions. Yeah. Was like a crippled person. Yeah. And it was like somebody that he, that he knew or she knew.

I, I wish, I gotta look up that movie. Was it Batman? Nah, uh, no. But it was like, it was incredible. Like the person that was there for them the most was like. Yeah. You know what's crazy, that's what I, sometimes I like. Last night I was in, I was in, uh, at Sigur Rós and I closed my eyes and just listened to the music and like images start conjuring up in my head.

I start crying because I just think like, oh my god, you know, I, I spend so much time like, holding on to, you know, uh, being in flight or fight mode and being scared of people. Everyone is beautiful. Everybody, every, every human being is beautiful. Not every human is beautiful, blah, blah, okay, no. Deep down, every human is beautiful.

That's it. And. I just want to be in that space where I'm like, Ah, I love you. I love you. It's interesting that you can simultaneously hold that fight or flight and also this conception of like, intrinsic beauty at the same time. I just feel like we're family. I feel like we're one big family. I just, I really feel that way.

I feel, like, when I'm in like a, these places, everyone's like afraid to like, you know, connect with each other. But ultimately, we just, we really want connection. Yeah. There's certain areas, like low, more low income neighborhoods, they're all, they're all outside talking and, It's one big family, you know, like Spanish people, Puerto Rican people, Dominican people.

You know, it's like, there's always that Dominican guy in the corner with a big boombox, like, just creating a vibe. Yeah. We're just one big family on this arc of Earth, Earth arc, hurtling through space, bro. We're on a spaceship. I don't know where we're going. We die. We get born. It's so weird. You know, it's like we get stuck in this...

Ego? Is that what it is? It's so crazy. We draw lines. That's why I'm crying. Cause I'm like, I'm like, I'm angry at God. I'm angry at God. But like, I'm the most spiritual person in the world. And so are you. And so is everyone else. We're all spiritual. We're spirits. Totally. And I'm like, angry. Like, oh, my life isn't going the way that I want it to go.

Fucking, I want to let go of the bullshit. I want to like, jump into this. The ocean of just like love and acceptance and like being yeah

We have that ability and we do it every day in small ways and it's just about like dipping in more consistently and more Intentionally more often. God can talk to us. God talks to us all day every day I wish God could just say come in Zach. This is God speaking over God, that would just make it too easy though.

I'm saying like It'd be too easy because if God could speak to you, then you would just do it. I need to work on myself more. I need to work on my spiritual practices more. I gotta like, I gotta sit in intention more. I gotta sit on your rooftop, wearing like some sort of saraf? Is that a word? I don't even know what that means.

Some sort of flowing garment? Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. I gotta close my eyes. And I have to just let go of everything. My brain is just talking and yammering and saying a million things and conjuring a million images. Fear, this, that, no. Today I was coming up your stairs, my brain wouldn't shut up. I fell. And when I fell, I realized, oh my god, it's because I'm just like, I'm in a loud, noisy car.

You know? But now sitting here, this breeze coming through my back, on my face, from your window. Ah, this is like a reset, man. Good, dude. Well. This is great because I'm gonna give you my keys while I'm away and you can go on my roof and borrow my robe Yeah, crazy on there on the there. I'm excited. Yeah Well, this is a Shem's hot tub We're not gonna record for a couple weeks, but I think we got enough in the can that we're gonna keep putting these out Absolutely.

Absolutely

Absolutely. Where's that from? It's like at the end of the credits. Yeah, at the end of, um, It's always sunny, I think. Yeah, absolutely. Alright, guys, thank you. I love you. Good night. Good night. If I ever meet any of you... And I'm shy, just knock me in the head. Knock him in the head, beat the heck out of him, dude.

You wanna kiss me in the lips? Kiss me in the lips. He would love it. Goodbye! A Shem's Hot Tub!