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What does it mean to make our lives a blessing?

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[00:00:00] Zach: Dude, look at that. We're getting, we're just jumping right into it. It's so cool. It is cool. I'm actually, like, genuinely excited. Yeah. Damn. The mood switches, baby. I'm like, yeah, bipolar, 

[00:00:12] Sam: probably. I get that. I think, I get that for you. You mean not bipolar, but maybe like...

You're definitely prone to swings of the mood. 

[00:00:20] Zach: Yeah. Watch out. But you know what? It's all good because I'm practicing the power of the now. Yeah. How's 

[00:00:31] Sam: that going for you? 

[00:00:33] Zach: It's going great. It's going phenomenal. That's phenomenal. Yeah. Like when I feel an uptick of emotion. Swelling up. Yeah. I'm able to hold it back and be like, yarr, tis be the now.

[00:00:48] Sam: This is Hashem's Hot Tub, where we are pirates living in the now, fully conscious. Welcome. I'm Sam Kaminer. 

[00:01:01] Zach: And I'm Zack Sanders!

[00:01:03] Sam: And this is Hashem's hot 

[00:01:04] Zach: tub. Yeah. Get on in. Dude, I have such a hard time still saying Zack's my name. But whatever, I'm just jumping into it. Cause you know why? It's the hot tub. It's the hot tub. Just jump in the hot tub. This is the now. You know when you go to a hotel and there's a hot tub in the hotel?

Yeah. But there's like a bunch of people in it. And then you feel to yourself, hmm. Maybe I shouldn't go in there, because there's so many people. Or, you think to yourself, There's too many people, and if I go in, they're gonna get upset. Like, they're not gonna tell me they're upset. But I know there's gonna be like this unspoken, like, Ugh, why is he in the hot tub?

Like, when there's like six of us already inside the hot 

[00:01:42] Sam: tub. Yeah, like, who is this guy getting in the hot tub with us? You gotta get in the hot tub. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. If you want, if you wanna get in the hot tub, you gotta be in the hot tub. 

[00:01:54] Zach: Exactly, and you look at them. You have to stand your ground.

Yeah. I wanna be in the hot tub. And I don't care if there's 12 of you in here.

I mean, yeah, whatever.

[00:02:08] Sam: It's important to have confidence and to be like, chutzpah, like real chutzpah, like really just like, I'm gonna do this thing and I want to do this thing and it's gonna happen, boom. Yeah, it's critical, 

[00:02:23] Zach: critical mass. It is critical. It is critical. Can I tell you about my experience? Y last night? Of course, when, when, uh, when we recorded that short video?

[00:02:36] Sam: Yes. We made a, a 32nd YouTube short, um, for Zach's YouTube channel, and it was a lot of 

[00:02:44] Zach: fun. Yeah. But before I made that short. My brain, my body was like complaining. It felt like a drag. Yeah. Like, no, don't do it, it's so annoying, you're not gonna do it right. 

[00:02:58] Sam: Yeah, you wanted to do like the easiest possible version, it was a whole 

[00:03:01] Zach: thing.

There's a whole ordeal. That was the resistance that welled up. And after we completed the video. Yeah. I looked at myself in your mirror and I genuinely felt like I was in touch with myself. My whole self. Wow. And that felt really good. Like, I remember feeling that part, those parts of myself in the past and I haven't, I, I, I haven't felt like I accessed, I've accessed those, I don't know how to explain it.

Am I explaining it correctly? Do you understand what I'm saying? 

[00:03:42] Sam: Yeah, like, by, in that act of, I mean, you, you engaged in like an honest act of artistic expression and creation and in that you found, um, a window into yourself. Yeah, 

[00:03:56] Zach: I felt it. Mhm, 

[00:03:58] Sam: it felt 

[00:03:59] Zach: aligned. Yeah, you know, yeah, you know when you're a kid, you're a little kid, you just play, you're just having fun, you feel good, you feel whole, you feel complete.

Yeah, things go wrong, but, uh, but now in my 30s, most of the days, I feel kind of like a shell, you know, detached. Yeah. Lonely. Empty. Stuff like that, those feelings. And it doesn't feel good. Yeah. I came home last night. I came home in my body. I came home to myself. I can't, I looked myself in the mirror, and I smiled genuinely, and I was like, fuck, I love myself.

Hell yeah. It felt so good. And then after I was so motivated, I went home to my apartment and I was literally like, talking to my friend of mine. But I was, I was like, I was in an experience, and this is very relevant for today's episode, it really is. Because I experienced it and I want to, and it's fresh and I want to share it because I think it's a real, I think it's really important.

I, you know how there's a, you know the story about the, about um, the two wolves? You know that? Yes, 

[00:05:03] Sam: yes. Inside of us is two wolves. 

[00:05:05] Zach: Right. I, I was able last night through the, through getting back through, through getting in touch with myself, I was able to, to experience the wolf in me that wants to succeed and grow and, and, and hold its ground and, and I am here and, and I will persevere versus the other wolf.

That's like poor me. I'm a victim. Life isn't fair. And I really saw a clear delineation between. Those two, which in Judaism they call the Yitzhar Tov and the Yitzhar Hara, right? Yeah, I saw it so clearly and I was like it was I embodied it. I felt it in my body I keep saying in my body because that's how I feel it.

I feel it in my in my I don't 

[00:05:54] Sam: explain it I get it. I get it. It's a feeling. Do you feel like you don't? That, that delineation between the Hara, these two wolves, do you feel like you don't usually see that, but in this moment you did? I don't normally 

[00:06:08] Zach: see it, and I, and I, and at that moment last night, I was able to see it, because I was in it.

You were able to experience it. I experienced it. I was like, and I was talking with my friend Arnon, and he was telling me, Zach, you're being very hard on yourself. Yeah. And I said, I'm not being hard on myself. I'm being honest with myself. I'm saying, yeah, listen. I can constantly choose to feed the wolf that is always hungry for, uh, negative things.

Yeah. And I could be justi and I can totally justify poor me, my boss is an asshole, whatever. I can go on and on. Yeah. But I felt empowered and that I, that I can choose to take full and complete responsibility for my life. And I, and I want to take full and complete responsibility for my life. Make things happen, make things happen.

For myself. Yeah. And for other people. Okay.

Well done. Thank you. Now. I have to uh, no, I have to remember last night. I'll just end like this I had a realization that this is this this is this won't last forever. This is like a glimpse It's like you're walking in a dark forest. Yes, you don't know where to go Yeah, and then there's a flash of lightning from the and then you get to see a little path Yeah, but then it disappears today disappeared today.

I spent most of my day in fear In flight, in fight, in complaint. 

[00:07:40] Sam: Today you did, after that. Yeah, today. It did disappear. It disappeared. 

[00:07:44] Zach: Okay. Another thing I heard is something really cool and profound. I was scrolling through my YouTube

and Like, bless the world. And I was like, yeah. That's such a powerful thing to do. Bless the actual planet. I don't bless the planet. Yeah. I'm, my brain is kind of negative. It's like, uh, you know? Mm hmm. And now I'm like, you know what? The planet, the world seems like the news seems kind of fucked these days, right?

Yeah, it does. And that I don't want, and, and it's easy for me to get sucked into that whirl whirlwind of, of 

[00:08:25] Sam: just like, everything is fucked, everything's bad. Yeah. The world is fucked up. Yeah. 

[00:08:29] Zach: So. I was able to have this realization also like, Oh, I could, I should be, I want to bless the world, you know, this world should be blessed.

I 

[00:08:42] Sam: think that, well, I think that, or should be blessed. And not only should you bless the world in the sense of like,

uh, in, from, from like a place of, of, of emotion and prayer, right? Like to bless the world, but also I think it's important to think about. How, how to be a blessing to the world, how, how can, how can my life, how can your life, how can our lives be a blessing to, to the world around us, to, to, uh, the people around us, to the people, five generations from now, how can we Be a blessing through this act of 

[00:09:28] Zach: living.

That's a great question. Especially nowadays. It seems kind of hard, 

[00:09:35] Sam: you know I it's it seems hard only because the task is so monumental because things feel so fucked The truth is though that it's it's quite easy Actually when you choose to live in the moment because when you're present in the moment, it's pretty easy to say Okay, what is the most?

How can I bring the most good to this situation? Whatever that situation is. Whether it's, you know, sitting at your desk at work, whether it's, um, walking down the street, whether it's, you know, you're at a restaurant, whatever it is, like, there is something that you can do to make the situation as good as possible, not just for yourself, but for the world around you.

And if you can make those decisions in microcosm each time, then... Eventually, hopefully, not even hopefully, it's a fact, then your life on the whole is a blessing,

because you've been doing it. You add up all the, all the integers, and it's like, oh, good. 

[00:10:39] Zach: These micro choices. 

[00:10:41] Sam: It's the micro choices, because we all, we all get big choices in life, we don't get that many of them. Right. We do, I mean, they happen, of course, but, but they're not every day, it's not every, every moment, unless you're maybe the president, that you're making big choices, even the president is not making, like, world changing choices every single day.

Maybe a couple times a year. Right. It's like the, the reality is that, that we live our lives in, in tiny chunks, and how, and if we can be a blessing each of those chunks, then when we get to the big chunks, we're already ready. We're prepared. Yeah. It's like, okay, this is easy for me and I, I know how to, how to be, how to, how to, you know, invoke the gets there or I know how, I know how to like be in 

[00:11:23] Zach: that place like that.

I never heard someone say Yates or, or the Yates are light. I love that. That's beautiful.

[00:11:36] Sam: Yeah, it's um, how can we be the light? How can we hold the light and lead the light in the world? Um, because there's plenty of darkness out there. There's plenty of darkness out there. It's uh, pretty easy to find 

[00:11:51] Zach: it. I'm curious if like our parents experienced this level of overwhelming anxiety when they were our age.

I don't think so. 

[00:12:03] Sam: This is new, right? I don't know if it's new, but it's um, maybe unique is the word? Maybe unique is not the word. It's definitely novel. Yeah. It's definitely, my parents did not experience this. There's no way. In fact, I know they didn't, because they tell me all the time that I'm weird and that I should, you know, have a wife and kids by now, Yeah, same.

You know? And yet, it's impossible for me to even imagine a situation in which I am there. 

[00:12:35] Zach: Right now, yeah, for me too. 

[00:12:36] Sam: You know, like, my life was just never gonna go in that direction where I was having, you know, a wedding at 27 and a kid at 29. Yeah. That was never in the cards for me. Why? I don't think.

Because I've, I've, I've been seeking something else. I, I...

This is not true for everybody, by a long shot. For me, and only for me, it always felt like to walk the prescribed path that I felt was prescribed to me of like, you know... Graduating college, getting a good job, getting a nice Jewish girlfriend, marrying her, having a kid. It felt like it would have been such a cop out.

It felt like I would have been betraying myself in such a genuine way. By not giving myself the space to really discover. 

[00:13:38] Zach: Yeah, it makes a lot of sense 

[00:13:42] Sam: and that path of discovery is not easy It's very hard actually very hard. Um, mentally hard mentally hard emotionally hard. There's a sometimes physically hard Yeah, definitely taxing, you know, it depends on the path that you walk but regardless like To choose that, that path, you know, it's, it's like the alchemist to find, finding your personal legend, right?

It's like to choose to, to, to walk down that path and into the unknown is the hardest option. But at the end of it, you find your 

treasure. 

[00:14:24] Zach: Yeah. Sometimes I'm, I hear you and, and I agree with you at fully, but as you were saying that I was thinking, What if I am not letting go, but I'm fighting, I'm fighting a force?

What, what force 

[00:14:46] Sam: do you think 

[00:14:47] Zach: you're fighting? I just think that, um, not to say that life is supposed to be easy and smooth, but sometimes I feel like I'm just banging my head in the door over and over again expecting

But, but, but I'm just banging my head against the door. Or, you know, just a hamster on a wheel. Well, it 

[00:15:08] Sam: depends what door you're banging on. You know, like, like, like... Like, I don't know if this is true, but I remember like hearing from like a video game or something, like the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and 

[00:15:20] Zach: expecting a different result.

Yeah. 

[00:15:22] Sam: You know, it's like, it's like, yeah, it never opens, try

a different door. 

[00:15:33] Zach: Well, I am insane. And, uh, no, I, I, I feel you, like, um, hmm, I feel like how I differ from my parents is I'm trying to consciously evolve, and that's very hard. Mm hmm. Whereas my parents are in a different state of consciousness. What does it, what does that mean to you when you say that? Like, my parents, um, have a different level of the way that they relate to the world.

In, in an emotional way and, and, uh, I also can see people getting stuck in that identity. They become attached to that, to those identities, those, whereas like I, and I sound crazy saying this because I feel like I'm, uh, I feel like I get stuck in identity and then I have, then I get a glimpse into, into, into, into, hey.

You're getting attached to this reality, you know, this, um, consciousness, and now I have a choice. Do I want, do I want it to be, do I want to continue or do I want to, like, let it go and, and become open for new things? And, uh, and, and, and in that pursuit, it's, it's very emotionally, uh, taxing, but at the same time, I'm thinking, A lot of my friends who are single seem to be struggling in a way where they feel like they lack meaning and purpose and direction.

And I'm curious if, if, uh, you know, getting married at a certain age... Would have been the best option even though the trade off I think is could be slower Could be like getting stuck in a codependent relationship. For example, and like 

[00:17:35] Sam: never getting out of a

question that I've been thinking about this week which is which is Who or what are we responsible for? you know, I think I think part of the the beauty and the gift of having a family is Is that you then become responsible for that family. Yeah. Your life is not just for yourself. And that, I think, can be a tremendous motivator.

I think that can be something that really, um, changes the way that, that we could experience the world. Um, and I think, I think that we need that sort of responsibility. I think, I think that as, as humans, we, we need to be responsible for more than ourselves. Because otherwise we just, like, lose the thread.

And, and, and, and it's also like when the, when the darkness really wins. Totally, 

[00:18:44] Zach: 100%. 

[00:18:45] Sam: You know, um, at, at the same time I think that, for me at least, I can only speak for myself here, Uh, my decision to sort of journey and, and, and wander in the way that I have was in large part selfish, was in large part feeling a responsibility to myself.

To, to find this, this like highest version of me, um, but I think that when I'm at my best My, my experience wraps around to what we were talking about earlier about being a blessing to the world You know when I'm at my best, I Recognize that I am growing for the sake of the world Which isn't to say that like I'm some like important guy who's gonna change the world But it is to say that like by me becoming the best version of myself.

I Can hold something that is unique to me and and because I am Focused on being as good of a person as I can be by whatever measure that sort of means whenever I'm measuring I can trust myself that

that I am growing in a way which is meaningful to the people around me

and holding that energy that like that more a universally focused energy is Where I come at it, then there's also another there's also another layer and that layer is God. Yeah, right There's also there's also a responsibility to God How are we how are we going to like like be the best version of ourselves to accomplish like?

The divine will, whatever that might be, and I don't know what that is, but I pray every day that I, that I, that I, that I embody it. Yeah, 

[00:20:57] Zach: I feel like that's the only thing that we can do is pray for that direction. I'm curious if people who don't live in New York City and aren't subjected to the pressures of the rat race and current economic political climate, do they feel hopeless and, or do they, or do they feel like their heart is opened?

Like hey, I don't know what you guys are talking about you guys are living the same thing everywhere 

[00:21:28] Sam: I'm pretty sure you think so. I think so. I think that New York City is is not particularly unique I think that I think that at this point you live in like a very global 

[00:21:41] Zach: culture Yeah, definitely. 

[00:21:43] Sam: You can travel to most places on earth and and things will at least feel to a degree similar.

People will, people will think in similar ways, which maybe was always true. Like, who's this, who's to say, like, oh, it's changed now because of technology. I don't know if that's true. Um, 

[00:21:58] Zach: I mean, well, there's the, there's the, the concept of the collective consciousness. Right. 

[00:22:03] Sam: Totally. Exactly. And I, and I think that more to the point is, like, people are suffering everywhere.

People, uh, you know, when, when you, I think especially when, when there is not like, uh, a pressing need for survival, like the crisis of existential understanding will always come into 

[00:22:26] Zach: play. We, I think we're in that era now. I didn't want to, I wanted to refrain from using the word meaning crisis, but I mean, my experience, that's what it feels like for me, at 

[00:22:37] Sam: least.

I don't, I don't think that it's like too much or too weird to use that phrase. It's a crisis. It is. It's a crisis of 

[00:22:46] Zach: meaning. It's interesting because usually, you know, after the crisis comes a period of all good. Hopefully. Followed by a pre c followed by another crisis. 

[00:22:58] Sam: Yeah, I mean that's the cycle of everything, right?

Yeah. But I do think that, I do think that we are living in a unique time. Technology has really changed everything. Like, we, we can now see everything that's happening in the world in, in a way that we never were able to. Yeah. We can also now, we also now like, you know, for the most part, um, many people's physical needs are taken care of, and that's not enough, right?

Like, obviously, so many people are hungry, so many people are unsheltered. Um, but we, we can at least in our minds picture a world in which that's not the case, right? There, there is a world in which we can leverage the technology that we have. To feed and clothe and house every person on earth. It's not impossible.

It feels very doable. In fact, 

[00:24:01] Zach: yeah, but I don't know I think we're we're treading a fine line right because 

[00:24:05] Sam: the crisis is a crisis of meaning the crisis that we face is not a crisis of the crisis that we face is is in meaning in the sense that like Just because we can do these things, because we can, you know, feed, feed, feed the poor and, and, and provide shelter and whatever it is, doesn't mean that we are doing it.

We're not doing it. We're not doing it because, um, those who hold these resources are not giving them up. And they're not doing that because their meaning is in a different 

[00:24:39] Zach: place. Right. Their meaning is attached to, uh, other, other things. Yeah, but you know, I was thinking about, like, the, um, I was thinking about the, uh, Like a small village, for example, right?

We're all, you know, where they have to collectively come together and to be, and they feel like they have, they all have a collective mission to feed their village, or clothe their village, or work the land. You know, there's some sort of meaning within that, but let's put that aside for a second when you I feel like when we're in a globalization, where there's just giant companies taking care of all your needs, taking care of all your things, then I think that's where the emotional problems start.

Yeah, I 

[00:25:30] Sam: think that's that way too. Like, um, I saw a clip of David Chang, the chef on Joe Rogan. Yeah, was an artist and he was um, maybe that wasn't David Chang. It was one of these Asian artists guys. I'm Joe Rogan. 

[00:25:43] Zach: I know it's Joe. Joe. 

[00:25:44] Sam: I love that guy. Yeah, and he um. 

[00:25:48] Zach: We should get him on the podcast. Sure. And.

[00:25:51] Sam: Because we're all crazy. And he was saying that he went to a village in Africa. The Hadza. And that He was, there was like some guy that was like super hot. He was like, you should come to New York and be a model, like you would kill it. And he's like, why would I ever go to New York? Isn't that where people kill themselves and jump off a 

[00:26:08] Zach: building?

Damn, yeah, he's right. Not always, not always right, but... But, 

[00:26:14] Sam: but, but, but it is interesting that like in the... Boonies of Africa. Yeah. You know, the people there are like, why would I ever go to the technological Western world? That's where people are 

[00:26:25] Zach: miserable. Yeah. It's so 

[00:26:29] Sam: interesting. There's something to be said about it.

You know, because like, there's something to be said about a life in which, uh, Communities are small and resources are scarce and instead of competition, your community engages in cooperation. 

[00:26:44] Zach: Yeah, that's what happens when there's a crisis. Like, for example, during Hurricane Sandy, I remember everyone came together.

Right. You know, to pitch in. They wanted to help. People fundamentally want to help. I believe that. 

[00:27:00] Sam: Right, I think that's true, but I also think that there's um, It's the meaning crisis. People are not, people want help, but they're also searching desperately 

[00:27:10] Zach: for how to help. I wonder if you and I were living in like, a remote village in Africa, would we, would we be having this conversation?

We wouldn't. No, there's no 

[00:27:18] Sam: way. Right. We would be worried about the buffalo. So 

[00:27:21] Zach: why don't we just like, ditch our society? Because we can't. 

[00:27:25] Sam: How come? This is where we are. 

[00:27:28] Zach: Why do we choose to stay here? 

[00:27:30] Sam: Comfort? I mean, no, because like this, this, I mean for me at least, this is it. Like, I'm not, the cards that I was dealt in this life were not to be, uh, An African man, not African.

I'm just saying like, no, but no, no, no. But what I'm saying is that the cards that I was dealt in this life, yeah. Are not to be there. Right? Like, this is where I was born. This, this is my world. These are my friends, these are my people. Like I don't, I have no desire to run away. 

[00:28:00] Zach: Why can't you, hypothetically, theoretically just move to a, uh.

Eco village in Costa Rica. I don't want 

[00:28:07] Sam: to. Okay. I'm not interested. Like, uh, I'm, I'm far more interested in living this experience that I was, that I was born into and, and, and living honestly within that. To go to Costa Rica and, and, and like be in some eco village. First of all, I would get sick of it. I wouldn't like the people.

I'd be bored. I'd be annoyed. Second of all, like, it would just, I, I, I, I have no magnet towards that. Right. Like, There's nothing that pulls me into that lifestyle for me like this, you know, I I Try as much as possible to act based off of my intuition and my intuition tells me this is the place Yeah right now 

[00:28:52] Zach: at least I hear that.

My intuition is telling me that you're, uh, thinking that I'm banging my head against the door and, uh, and I should get off the sinking ship before it's too late. What is a sinking ship? The, the, our civil, our society, civilization, not civilization at a whole, but like just society, the society that I'm in, the rat race, the traps that I've allowed myself to be a part 

[00:29:19] Sam: of.

Well, that's true. Cause you also, yes. You, I mean, you, you, to some degree, we live two blocks away from each other, but you live in a little bit of a different world than I do. Yeah. 

[00:29:34] Zach: But I also wonder if, if I, um, felt empowered in myself, would we, would I be having this conversation with you? Well, that's the thing.

I don't think I would. You wouldn't. I think if I felt empowered in myself, I would have a sense of what I want, what I need to do. Exactly. Even if everything feels 

[00:29:49] Sam: fucked around me. Exactly. The problem is not that you don't live in some eco village. The problem is that you don't feel empowered in this 

[00:29:58] Zach: place where you're at.

Yeah, I agree. That makes a lot of sense for me. Because if I did feel empowered, I would make a choice to, in the direction that I, that makes the most sense for me. Whatever that is. 

[00:30:07] Sam: Yeah. And you, and you would, you would, that compass would make sense to you. Yeah. That compass would be 

[00:30:11] Zach: trustworthy. It's so interesting.

Yeah. It's interesting. We live in a society where like, there's a problem and there's, there's a solution. And if there's no solution, you engineer a solution to, and then you, in Silicon Valley, you 

[00:30:26] Sam: know. Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes. If there's no solution, some coders get together and assume that technology will brute force the solution 

[00:30:35] Zach: into reality.

Yeah. But then you look at silicon, uh, San Diego, no, sorry, my bad. San Francisco and all those parts of the world where those technologies have been implemented, and it seems like there's a, like a degradation of 

[00:30:48] Sam: that. Well, that's the thing is, is I think that we have, um. Uh, we, we, we've, we've developed an over reliance on science and technology that, uh, I mean, obviously there are tremendous boons that science and technology have provided over, uh, the course of human history and continue to do so.

Yeah. Um, but I think that the, the, the crisis of meaning that you described that this, like, Scary thing around the corner for so many people all the time is not going to be solved by the newest tech product. No. It's going to be solved by deep, deep emotional discovery. Yeah. By every person individually.

[00:31:35] Zach: Yes, and I also think a new perception. A new perception. A new shift, right? I was thinking, I was listening to Lex Friedman.

Um, Jared Kushner, who was the, uh, I don't know what he did. 

[00:31:52] Sam: He was, he was, uh, he was Trump's son in law and was at one point, um, involved in Israeli Arab peace 

[00:32:01] Zach: relations. Right. So, pre that, everyone, you know, our fixed way of thinking led us to believe that there was no way to fix the Arab Israel relations.

Yes. Yes. That's that. Yes. We were in a fixed mindset. Agreed. And along came Jared and shifted it. And started making peace Arrangements with other arab countries for israel, right like uae Morocco a bunch of other uh, why because I think he said he went on a first principles thinking What do people really want people want to be part of something they want, you know to feel safe They want economic growth, you know, there's fundamental needs of people not just the uh, um, you know not using people as control as a means of control but as but People just generally want to feel safe, to be economically empowered, to provide, you know?

So, uh, here's the real question, Sam. How do, how do we, um, shift our consciousness into new, how do we shift from a fixed mindset into a, into open, you know? Without using technology, without, without like, figuring it out, hiring a bunch of coders to like, develop an app and then market it. 

[00:33:31] Sam: I think it starts with an admission that we will never be right.

That we'll never, like, have the answers. That we are fundamentally fallible. And that what we assume is... is correct, what we assume is moral, what we assume is good. Any of these assumptions make an ass out of you and me. I think that if we can, if we can walk through life with the knowledge that we are stupid little ants, then suddenly the whole world opens up.

And it becomes an act of discovery rather than an act of defensive positioning. 

[00:34:23] Zach: Yeah, but that's scary when you're attached to your identity. 

[00:34:26] Sam: Oh, it's terrifying. Not only when you're attached to your identity, when you're attached to anything. When you're, you know, our entire. The entire, I mean, it's like, it's like, you know, the, the fundamental concept of, of safety is attached to the idea that we can understand and control the reality around us when you give up on, on that, how do you even feel safe, right?

It requires a tremendous amount of faith. Faith is really the answer. You know, and for everyone that's going to take a different, uh, form, but I really think that the fundamental answer in all of this is faith because otherwise you're not going to be able to release the assumptions that are holding not just.

You back, us back, but the entire world back. Faith that, faith that there's, that love is possible. Faith that, faith that peace is an option. Faith that, even though we are stupid little ants, we'll figure it out somehow. Yeah, 

[00:35:38] Zach: faith is power. Faith moves mountains. Literally. Like, I think Jesus said that? I'm not sure.

[00:35:45] Sam: I mean, how do, how do you think that, um, the non Avers got there? 

[00:35:49] Zach: Yeah, true. Man, you know, I, I forgot about Deploying faith.

Yeah, I 

[00:36:06] Sam: mean you're gonna need it. I know but you specifically right now in this point in your life, which is good It's like to do or die a moment, you know, you got to exercise the muscles. 

[00:36:19] Zach: You got to exercise the muscles Yeah, it's a do or die moment. You're right. It's so crazy. And that's what I'm fighting against just that reality Yeah, like why do I have to do this?

It's so hard Don't want to it's not fair. Why can't I just dot dot dot and I'll fight it tooth and nail 

[00:36:48] Sam: Do you want to be specific for the listeners about what you're fighting if you want to get into it? Otherwise, we can 

[00:36:52] Zach: skip past. Sure. Um, I am I've been working at a job for the past like six seven years and It's time for me to move on.

Yeah, and I got uh, And I and I I should have been moved moving on a long time ago, but I've been I haven't moved on. I haven't, uh, chose to look for a new job or find a new job or make that effort. I've been in denial about it, even though I know I, I gotta get a new job. And, uh, like, you know, a few months ago, my boss was like, Hey, you can't afford your position anymore.

You got to off board you out. We're off boarding you from payroll in like 30 days. And that was it. And, um, and, uh, to me, it's like, I'm still in denial about it. I'm like, no, 30 days will come and my boss will figure something out for me. It's so crazy. I choose to be abused. Or, then to, uh, take responsibility for, um, for something that is, feels very uncomfortable.

Yeah. And it feels very uncomfortable for me to get a new job, or, you know, like, why do I gotta get a new job? It's gonna suck, it's gonna this, it's gonna that. You know, it's, it's like such, it really is bullshit. But that's my, but that has been my reality. And, uh, and I see it. But, uh, it's still, it is still tough.

It is still tough. I still want to escape. All the time. And I don't... And uh, it's hard for me to have faith. It's hard for me to see, um, a way out. It's difficult. It's difficult. It's challenging. It's Like, uh, yeah, so you're right. You're right It's so i'm scared. I'm scared like, uh I don't trust myself, I don't, um, I don't feel so empowered.

But I know that will, that can all change in a moment. I know that can all change in a moment. I know that it can change in a moment with a, with a shift, with a choice. And um, I'm at the uh, I'm at a point. In this path where I, I have to make these micro choices of, of, uh, seeing the reality as it is, despite how I feel about it and course correction.

And I don't have faith. I lost my faith in God as somebody who I feel like I can rely on.

And that makes me feel very, and I don't have faith in myself. So those two factors, which are very important out of my exi my being, that's, it's very tough to, to make a choice, you know? And yesterday when I did the video, I felt really good. I got a glimpse into that, into the possible, the possible me. And I, and I was speaking to my friend Jeff today, who I sent the video to, who was just telling me, like, keep going.

Just keep doing it. You gotta flex that creative muscle. Just like you gotta flex that faith muscle. Yeah. Because ultimately, I would love to live in a beautiful state,

you know?

[00:40:28] Sam: Amen. I think, I think, I think that's exactly right. It's about the micro choices, and it's about imagining who we want to be, and then releasing it. Not being like, oh, I'm gonna get there, and sometimes even like, you know, I think for a lot of people, planning is very helpful, having like, actionable steps, very helpful.

I mean, and maybe that's helpful for you. For me, it's less about that. For me, it's more about... Having that person in my mind's eye and then releasing them, but still like holding onto that. I mean that, I mean this, this is I think why like my, my daily practice of meditation and prayer are so important because like it, those are moments that remind me of who I want to be so that when I go through my day, I can trust that I'm moving in that direction.

'cause I know that a few hours ago I was reminded and I think that without that I would be lost.

I think that we all need build those reminders into 

[00:41:53] Zach: our lives. Yeah I remember when before you had your current job We were in my car outside my apartment and you were having a similar I was and I was I had my job security, and I was like, I know you feel, you know, I was like, I don't remember what I said, actually, but I remember, like, giving a lot of advice.

Yeah. But I was giving advice based off me being in, having job security, having, having that, uh, cushion. Maslow's, Maslow's hierarchy of needs, right? Some of those needs were getting met, and therefore I was able to consciously operate at a level where I felt stable. Yeah. And now, When you're neat when my needs are threatened.

Yeah consciously it pulls me into this. Uh, I guess it's a I don't know if it's a lower vibration. It seems like It's a place of fear a place of fear a place of fear and it's very difficult to see past that fear You know that totally Yeah, it's so interesting. And you know what's interesting, Sam, like yesterday I was playing music with my, with a friend of mine.

Uh huh. And in that state of playing music I, I, I wasn't thinking of my fear. I wasn't like experiencing this like existential. Oh my god. I was playing music and it was in a park and there was like beautiful colors and there was a fountain and it was just like, wow, this is, the moment was beautiful. Yeah.

And it's so interesting. The mind is so powerful. The mind is, the mind is very powerful and that's why I'm, I started off talking about the power of now. Because it all makes sense to me, right? This moment, right? There are certain people that are always present, and like, you can just tell. But, the moment is...

Yeah, I mean, despite all the craziness that's going on in the world, the world is still going on, right? There's... The world is gonna go on with or without us. With or without... You know, it's like a... I gotta remind myself that. The world is, like... The world has been going on before I got here, and it will go on after I leave, you know?

[00:44:06] Sam: Do you feel comforted by that? Or do you feel afraid or 

[00:44:09] Zach: something else? I feel, um, I don't feel comforted or, or, or, or, or afraid. I feel, the fear I feel is, am I not doing enough at this moment in my lifetime? Yeah. Like what we discussed in the beginning of the pod. You know, um, what is my responsibility? Am I making the right choices?

Am I doing it? Am I holding up, am I holding up the world, or am I, well, not, you know, the world will go on. But, are you a blessing? Am I a blessing to the world? Am I a blessing to myself? Am I a blessing to my friends, to my family, to the people, places, things, animals? Everything around me energies. 

[00:45:00] Sam: Yeah, I mean, I mean that is operating from a place of strength And I think that's your biggest challenge right now.

[00:45:09] Zach: Yeah, I remember when I was like whenever whenever I needed a job I would just have this like this like energy like I need a job and I get one I'm gonna go get one and I've got one. Yeah, and now through my experience in life and being burnt I'm like, oh my god, it's so difficult, right? It's like so interesting.

Yeah. I remember like, I came back from California, I needed a job, I worked for my cousin for a month, didn't work out. Then my friend's wife posted on Facebook that her husband was looking for like an assistant. Yeah. And I was like, great! And that was my current job till today. Really? Yeah! So like every job that I've ever had came from like, it was ever re sending my resume in.

But I've been off of social media, I've been isolating, I've been like in these fear states. I haven't been contributing, I haven't been part of, like, the, uh, The world. The world, yeah. It's so interesting. So that's it, like, um, I need to, uh, get out of this, this mindset that I'm stuck in. And, uh, shift into a new perception.

Yeah. And, uh, that's it, I guess. And that's it, there's nothing really more to say. That's just the truth, right?

It's time. It is time. And you know what? I got, I have to be excited about the future. I think having an, being excited about the future is really important. Like, Elon Musk always says, You got to be excited about the future. If the future is not exciting for you, then it's, then, then you get sad, depressed, right?

That's why he's pushing, um, rocket ships to Mars. That makes the future exciting. That's interesting. It's more of a philosophical thing. 

[00:47:04] Sam: I think, I think that makes You know, I think that makes a lot of sense, because I think, I think that the, the baseline now is, is to be afraid of the current moment rather than to be excited, like, so, so few people I see are excited about.

The world to come they assume it's gonna suck and so they operate from that like place of Fear and angst and anger. I don't think that way. I really don't pretty sure it's gonna be good 

[00:47:40] Zach: Yeah, I was thinking as you said that you know, according to the power of now, there is no future There's no past right what we are is addicted to the past or or projecting our fears into the future Yeah, however in the moment in the present moment

you could Um, be excited about the future because the present moment is, is good. It's confu I, it's a little confusing actually. No, it's not 

[00:48:11] Sam: that confusing at all. 

[00:48:11] Zach: Yeah, 

[00:48:13] Sam: um. It's, it's like, it's like what we said earlier about the um, the micro decisions. Right, it's like you can't worry about what the future is on a big macro scale.

Yeah. It's always gonna be outside of your predictive zone. But what you can do is you can be present in the current moment and make good choices. Right. And then that makes you excited about the future because you know you've laid the foundation for something good. Yeah. 

[00:48:39] Zach: Yeah. Do you think I'll ever get married, Sam?

Yes. Can I tell you why I'm asking that question? Yes. Because I'm 33 years old. Mm hmm. Soon to be 34. Mm hmm I've never really been in a long term relationship. I've never Ever in my entire life Seeked to be in a relationship with somebody. Mm hmm. Only one time I've been in a relationship I wasn't seeking it just came and went which is cool And I'm and if that happens great But I'm wondering like you have to get this you have to make a choice like I want to get married and you go out It seems to me that a lot of people make a choice like I want to get like whatever for wherever that comes from whether It's pressure for their family Consciously or out or unconsciously.

There's a choice. There's a and there's an action thought plus action equals result right I'm wondering like I guess my question is actually now that i'm asking it It makes sense that i'm looking for reasons why the future won't be good. Thank you. Sam It's the truth like I was going down a rabbit hole of, of like looking at my patterns.

You know, 1 plus 1 equals 2, therefore, you know, 1 plus 1 equals 2. 

[00:49:58] Sam: Yeah, but it's not that simple, right? It's like, it's like hubris to assume that we know the math of reality. Right, like we, we can understand integers, but we can't understand relationships in that way. Right? It's like, it's, it's total arrogance to assume that, that, um, the human experience works mathematically.

I don't 

[00:50:22] Zach: know. 

[00:50:23] Sam: I'm pretty sure. That's why scientists piss me off sometimes. It's the point where you get too smart, and you assume you can know everything. Right. It's, there's always going to be something beyond you. Yeah, I agree with that. And I take great comfort in that reality. That makes me happy. If I lived in a world where everything could be understood through science and math, I would be pissed off and bored.

[00:50:55] Zach: I hear that, but in one way, I think science reveals things that we never thought would have been possible. Of course. Right, like when electricity was coming out, there was like warning articles in the paper, like, warning the coming electric era. This is lightning. It's God's, uh, tapping into God's, uh, uh, energy is, is it could be hazardous to the whole planet, you know, tread careful, you know, it wasn't 

[00:51:24] Sam: wrong.

Right. I mean, which is not to say that it's a problem, right? Like I'm not even saying I'm anti science which is anti the hubris of science and to the hubris of thinking that we can. That we can, uh, understand everything. That everything that exists can be put into a box of understanding. That's what I'm against.

Because there will always be something beyond us. And I think that that is where the beauty is. It's where the magic is. A world where everything is understood is a world without magic. And I refuse. In fact, not only do I refuse, but I think 

[00:51:58] Zach: it's impossible. No, I agree. The world is magical. For sure. But there's a lot of magic that gets re Right?

Everything is magical. Right? Like, electricity itself is magical. Totally. But it becomes 

[00:52:08] Sam: mundane eventually, right? Well, that's the thing, is by assuming that we have an understanding of everything, uh, everything becomes mundane and understandable. And for some people that gives great comfort, right? 

[00:52:20] Zach: Well, listen, if the world ended right now, and you and I were the only people to survive, we wouldn't be able to restart the world with electricity.

That's true. You know. That's true.

Yeah, uh. 

[00:52:34] Sam: Everybody has their part to play.

[00:52:42] Zach: Everyone has their part to play. Everyone has their, their note. Everyone has their note to play. That resonates. Totally. In harmony. Totally. With the world. And your, I believe your relationship with yourself is the uh, you can tell a lot about your relationship with yourself. In relations to the, to the rest of the world.

How do you feel about yourself? Right at this, at, at the moment, not you now. Not now. This, like, I'm just saying generally, right? Like for me, if I'm feeling like down all the time Mm-Hmm, then, then everything around me is down. You know, it's hard for me to get out and do things. Yeah. It's so, it's such, it's, it's such a.

It's such a slippery slope. Yeah, it's so and that scares me a little bit, but also I have to accept it like hey, you know, uh micro choices keep choosing to uh, see what see what reality for what it is and and and Course correction, right? Uh, otherwise you can you can plow into the rocks and sink I guess It's so, that's what's scary is, you know, like, um, I didn't really, I don't know if we should get into free will, but there's like this, like, first of all, there's like this, like, psych, psych, I don't know what he's, what he is, like, his name is Robert Sapolsky, and he, he, he argues that there's no free will, everything's like, not like there's predeterminism, but he argues that you don't really have much of a choice in the grand scheme of things, but I think what free will for me is, is the, uh, Is the knowledge of good and evil.

You know, the knowledge. I don't want to say good and evil, I think that's probably a bad 

[00:54:29] Sam: translation. I think, I think, for me that translation is always like binaries. It's always like, like, the concept of distinction. 

[00:54:38] Zach: Just having the, just, just being self aware, right?

That's responsibility. And that's Could be very scary, to, if you think about it, best not to think, best to just jump right into things, you know? 

[00:54:59] Sam: For a certain kind of person, I would say yes. Yeah. I think you're that kind of person. 

[00:55:03] Zach: For sure. I mean, for me, yeah. I totally get lost in the sauce. Thinking is, uh, very juicy.

And very addicting. It's 

[00:55:13] Sam: just annoying. It's just like, there's too much of it. You know, and a lot of it is just projections, you know? Yeah, 

[00:55:22] Zach: I 

[00:55:22] Sam: do know. It's just total projection of like some fight or flight response here or there. It's just stupid. It's not real. It's not real. 

[00:55:32] Zach: It's like, yeah, it's not real.

It's a, it's like that, it's like that Rick and Morty episode when he was playing Morty's, when he was like in that, you know, that episode where he, when Morty is, he's playing this, he's basically, he lives out his entire life. Oh yeah. Yeah. The 

[00:55:48] Sam: Roy game. I know this. 

[00:55:50] Zach: We spoke about it, right? Yeah. But you can't distinguish reality when you're in it.

That's what

[00:56:00] Sam: you can is the thing. It's not that you can't you totally can like you

I'm a broken record You know the difference between being awake and being asleep when you're awake You know that you're awake

and when and I think that you were responsible we are responsible for our lives It's not inconsequential It's not the Roy game and you know Even if it is even if it is a game and you're just gonna wake up at the end of it when you die Do you want to take that risk?

[00:56:49] Zach: No, uh, um, I mean like, if I don't know that it's a game, and I'm convinced that it's reality, then I would like to make the choices. It is reality, because this is it. 

[00:57:05] Sam: Yeah. Right? We don't fucking, like, you can't intellectualize yourself out of being alive. We're here. 

[00:57:13] Zach: Yeah. I guess I said, yeah. I think I, I think I'm a, I'm a, I feel like a broken record.

Then fix it. I gotta fix it. I'm gonna bring it to the religion shop. 

[00:57:31] Sam: Take the needle off the record and put it on a new 

[00:57:32] Zach: record. New record. I see you got a few records behind the lamp over there. Yeah. I found them on the street. No way. Now all you gotta find is a record player. I know. It's so dope. There's a lot of fun things living in like New York city is what you find on the street or what people like kind of like put outside their house for you to take.

Yeah. Like for example, I found a Pair of shoes. I think I probably talked about it. Yeah, you did tell me about it. Damn it, I'm a broken record. Haha. I was with you the day you found them. Oh, you were? Yeah. When I found them? No. Right.

I'm down to change the topic. We're here, man. I know, I feel self conscious though. I feel like, um, I'm being a burden talking about these things. 

[00:58:23] Sam: No, this is Hashem's Hot Tub. This is what it's about. But I mean, the real, the real thing is that like, is that like, there's a point at which talking about it just does no good.

Yeah. 

[00:58:34] Zach: Hashem's hot tub is really about getting into the tub and just be in like having this this Awareness that you're being that you're in God's world and God has your back God is aware of your presence and is

and is advocating for you. You know, that's what Hashem's hot tub is for me I think that's right and I got and I guess I got lost in in in a delusion that There is no God, and he's not, he's just a, he's just a, uh, conjuring, he's just a conjured thing to make me feel good, you know? But that's not true!

Because I've been in, I've had times where I was in a good state where, damn, I'm a broken record. No, stop. I am. I'm a broken record. Let's call it spade to spade. I just get trapped. That's it. I'm not gonna be hard on myself, but I'm gonna call myself out. I'm having trouble, I want to be better, and that's it.

I'm putting it out there.

[01:00:04] Sam: This is Shaman's Hot Tub. Yeah.

[01:00:12] Zach: Good night.