TAKING A BREAK Ft. TRACEY FARRAR

In this episode we get to speak with the talented Tracey Farrar about her acting journey.  She speaks candidly about her frustrations with the journey and giving herself permission to take a break from it all while rediscovering other interests that bring her joy.

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Transcript

Bree: Welcome back to A Brighter Bree OK so in this episode of A Brighter Bree we talked to the extremely talented Tracy Farrar about wanting to take a break after diligently pursuing acting for years. She shares about having more than one dream and her rediscovery of her desire to learn a new language…

*Tracey sings in Spanish* 

Bree: …literally. So y'all ready to catch up?

Bree: OK so I'm ill-prepared so we just gonna have a conversation.

Tracey: Ill-prepared?  What do you mean?

Bree:  How it sound. But my camera is rolling right here so I'm gonna talk directly to my camera first… Hello guys welcome back to A Brighter Bree! We have a very very I do I cannot stress very enough a very special guest today I've known her for a long time now.  Ooh… oh Girl I just did the math. Yeah… it’s like carry the one. hold on. oh I ain’t gonna say the years because I'll be aging myself.  It’s a long time so guys oh do you go byyyyy OK I'll find out now I like to introduce my very special guest Mrs. Tracy Farrar Young.

Tracey: Yes.

Bree:  Yes! I got it!  She married y’all that’s why I was like is it Tracy Farrar or Tracy Farrar Young what were you gonna say

Tracey: Technically it's Tracy Young I use Tracy Young or Tracy Farrar depending on what I'm doing Tracy Farrar is my stage name my maiden name and then Tracy Young is my married name yes 

Bree:  So on the stage you used Tracey Farrar but shouts out to Brandon I want to respect him you know because he put a ring on it you know 

Tracey:  he did he did

Bree:  he did he did.  She's a very talented actress.  Done travelled doing theater matter of fact that's actually how we met.  We met doing children's theater 

Tracey: yes.

Bree: Do you remember those days really well?

Tracey:   Yeah… I think about those days a lot. Anything any random thing will remind me of you know those that experience it was so much fun we had so much fun.

Bree:  So you have a lot of good memories of that time?

Tracey:  Yes. You don't?

Bree: Oh no no I absolutely do. Matter fact when I think about it because I don't know if you remember that but umm.  like there was a time period where it just seemed like…. so OK y'all with children's theater with that particular children's theater what we were doing we would put on shows at different schools sometimes it‘d be elementary schools or middle schools but it was a group of us I would say maybe like 9…10 of us yeah or or we rotated sometimes or we we have different troops but there was a time when we would get frustrated with that particular company that's why I'm not saying the name and it seemed like every week somebody was quitting and I remember announcing the week that I was leaving everybody was like what?  You leaving Bree? but it it was shocking even for me to make that decision because it literally was like.. at the time it kind of now when I think about it my dream like I'm literally getting paid to do what I love to do I was acting I was putting on a show I had little miniature fans I would say 

Tracey:  don't forget we also had health insurance

Bree: and we had health insurance and we were getting paid to work out because one of the things we would talk about or the type of shows we would put on was education towards like being healthy or like you know just all the all the good things not just body but mind and telling kids to make good decisions you know so we had to be the example so like we would get we will work out in the morning we would have a sun salutation.  You remember the little yoga or the little videos we would do? So yeah it really like so we were getting paid health insurance great point you know so it was just like why would I leave this the only reason I made the decision to leave was because I could see myself getting comfortable for me for me I can see myself getting comfortable like hey I'm acting you know putting on a show every day I'm getting paid to work out you know all this other stuff but I know my dream was to live in New York and I really do this thing and really if I'm going to do the stage do the stage and New York is the epitome of the stage and if you haven't noticed I'm leading us into my question or not my question leading us into talking about you because this is where you reside right now right Tracey?

Tracey: That is correct Bree.  I live in New York City trying to live the dream… No, I would say I'm living the dream I am living the dream because 

Bree:  Well get to that in a minute like about the yeah well OK because currently you're taking a break from the dream correct?

Tracey:  I'm taking a break from one of my dreams.

Bree:  one hmm… thank you for correcting me that's that's really good that's really good OK but let's let's let's rewind before the break let's rewind to when you like first go to go to New York and what your plans were and what took place before current date present day 

Tracey:  OK let's see so I'm thinking back OK a lot has happened in the last few years but 

Bree:  what well what made you make make the move to New York because like we talked about you are married so it wasn't you moving alone like like my decision it was just me I have nobody else to think about so obviously that was a decision you and your spouse made correct?

Tracey: That is correct. My husband and I decided to move to New York because he's an artist also so he he's been wanting to live in New York his whole life and so I quit that children's theater company.  Eventually, after you and I think I was one of the last of the Mohicans… one of the last ones of our group and I decided like you said you know I decided that I wanted to really be able to have the I wanted to have the freedom to go on auditions so working that job it was good like you said it was full time actually and we were making money we were acting but it wasn't what I wanted to do because we had to build sets we had to do sound we had to rotate the different you know positions we weren't only acting and so I decided that I would quit so that I could go on auditions and so I was able to act at Center Stage in Baltimore which is a very prestigious theater and some other theaters in the DMV area and but my ultimate goal was to be in New York so we finally you know um saved enough money to move to New York and we've been here for about five years 

Bree:  OK OK so that's home now?

Tracey: it's a home right now 

Bree:  OK got you you brought up a good point you talked about like how you just wanted to act and you said with with that job in particular it required us to do so many things and like build sets and you know do lighting and repair costumes sometimes if if you know who wasn't available.  I won’t say his name but I loved him dearly. He was a character in himself he he was the props guys yeah he was the prop guy for us y'all he was hysterical but sometimes when he wasn't available sometimes we had to do like little repairs ourselves but yeah it required you to like wear many hats you know which you know at the time that's not what I signed up for but on the bright side of things like sometimes it prepares you for other parts of your life you don’t even realize because girl I'm looking around right now I built this set I'm looking at this lighting you know what I'm saying…Matter fact my… I won’t say… OK I'll see some details some some parts of my set is on wheels and I got that idea from working that job yeah 

Tracey:  yeah yes yes 

Bree:  so it's just like in the moment you're like Un Uhn I don't need to do all this I just can't sign up for acting you know but it's just like some some parts of our lives that we not of a fan of in the moment sometimes it prepares us for other parts you know like down the line because later on you did you know theater in New York did you you did theater abroad as well right?

Tracey: I… so the theater let me tell you I haven't done a lot of work in New York no I've not done a lot of like theater in New York I've done some independent films and extra work of course and you know short videos but I haven't I only did one show in New York that show we we did that show about we had about four performances we performed like two weekends and then we took that show to the Edinburgh theater festival in Scotland so we toured it for a month in Scotland so 

Bree: wow 

Tracye:  yes that was very exciting it was a dream yes how was it like doing theater in Scotland 

Bree:  like did did you have like your own space like your own room and stuff like that or did you have to share with other people?

Tracey: Well it was part of the Edinburgh Theater Festival.

Bree:  What does that mean?  Because I don't know much about it. I'm sorry.

Tracey: So the Edinburgh Theater Festival is a festival that's been going on for 50 years at least 50 years I think more than that they would do it every year then when the pandemic came along it was shut down of course that one year but it had been running I think for about 50 years if I’m not mistaken but ummm a bunch of different plays performances artists come together in Edinburgh for a month in August and so we had our own space for that month and it was so it was so beautiful the weather was beautiful I mean when it wasn't doing it’s little drizzly rainy thing and well it would only rain like for a few minutes at a time but anyway the people were so friendly the air was so fresh it was so clean the food was so you know so fresh and the prices were even good it wasn't so so I I just it was just nice to be you know in another country and to just see just just have that different experience so we performed for a month and the we had a really great like we got really great feedback on it it was a musical called Henry Box Brown The Musical and it was very interesting it was a play about Henry Box Brown you haven't heard have you ever heard of him?  

Bree: no that I was going to ask what's the play about? yeah exactly.

Tracey:  Henry Box Brown was a real man he lived he was a he was a slave and he shipped himself to freedom in a box.

Bree:  I have heard that story before or that is but it's it's not real right like…?

Tracey: Yes!  He was a real man.

Bree: oh wow… well they had to get creative you know during that time wow what character did you play?

Tracey:  I played Henry Box Brown's mother. 

Bree:  OK I’m somebody’s mother.

Tracey: I'm somebody's mother!

Bree:  One of our friends says that all the time guys that's why we love that quote “I’m somebody's mother”… But I I wasn't clear on the question you didn't answer it though like you said it was a theater festival of plays but what was your housing situation like that's what I meant yeah OK so we stayed on a college campus I cannot remember the name of the college but we stayed at a college campus they lived in the dorms of the college so my cast had about we had two floors of this this dorm and so we had our own room we had a shared area for like the living room and the kitchen and let's see yeah that's it it was really comfortable really nice modern yeah it's a great experience a great time I when I came back to New York I was like oh look at all this trash and dirt and grime oh look at all these rude people welcome back to New York so yeah Fun while it lasted.

Bree:  I heard you earlier say that the people there in Scotland were really nice 

Tracey:  they were so nice they were just so friendly so you would walk into the store and they would say hiya you know.  So welcoming you know.  yes it was lovely.

Bree:  Got back to New York and they was like “Youz get outta da way!.... Yeah “I’m walking here!” I know my my New York accent is terrible you wouldn't be able to tell I lived there for 5-6 years but yeah.

Tracey:  No that was good that was good 

Bree:  Lies and propaganda Tracey

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Bree:  OK so we OK I know you said OK people were friendly it was a great time you were acting there well like that wasn't your only time being away doing theater so with that and or or was that only was that your biggest or longest time?

Tracey: That was… that’s was the only time I traveled like outside of the country to do theater yes 

Bree:  OK was it hard being away from your husband? 

Tracey:  yes I did miss my husband and my family but of course I don't see my family every day anyway because they live in Baltimore where I'm from but yes I miss my husband so much but you know thanks to technology we were able to talk on the phone and send you know you know messages and do video calls and all that wonderful stuff so yeah 

Bree:  so you would do that again like as far as like acting abroad or away I mean you know yeah for like that time period 

Tracey: Yes I would… Most definitely.

Bree: I mean I know you got a whole husband but I I feel like that's like a debate sometimes online like can you do long distance relationships and I feel like for actors or people in entertainment I feel like that's a duh you gotta be able to do long distance relationships because if you get a gig where it requires you to be in Vancouver you know I'm saying or you know somewhere… Scotland you have to have like uh trust bond where you you're able to deal with that situation and like I just don't get when I hear other people in entertainment say well I can't do no long distance relationship but you entertaining what do you what if you get a gig and you have to be somewhere away from that person for 2-3 months at a time 

Tracey:  right right I mean temporarily it's not too bad because you know it's temporary 

Bree:  Mmhm exactly

Tracey:  it's not bad but I don't know I can't speak for those people but all I can say is you like you said you have to have trust you have to have discussions you have to have that communication it's very important to be able to talk about anything any issues any concerns you can't just think OK it's going to be fine I'm just going to deal with this on my own no you have to you have to communicate you have to definitely make sure that there is an understanding for situations like that.

Bree:  you think it helps with you being married to another creative as well like that because that person just automatically gets it or you think that's a case by case basis?

Tracey:  for me I think it helps that he's an artist because he understands the passion to want to do something that doesn't seem logical for one thing.

Bree:  That part.

Tracey:  and then you know he he thinks outside the box you know some people I don't know I don't wanna judge but people who are not who are not artistically inclined they not they may not they may they may not be as open minded as other people so I think he's open minded especially when it comes to doing like you know a romantic scene because I've had to do those and he he's not he's not crazy about that but he doesn't you know he doesn't like make me feel bad or he doesn't try to make me feel like I shouldn't do it or anything like that because we have trust we have commu- we have a good we have a a good like we have respect for each other you know we respect each others dreams and goals so it it it hasn't been an issue.

Bree:  and he's secure in himself and I think like you have to be with a spouse who's secure in themselves that is not going to get hyped up about you having a romantic scene with someone else and I'm glad you brought that up because like in recent news like you saw that thing with like a Keke Palmer and it hold up and it was a situation another situation before that oh man it slips my mind right now but it was another couple where people were like getting hyped up oh the the Bailey girl the Haley Bailey and her boyfriend that look sometimes I follow what’s in pop culture and they were having a riff where the her boyfriend was saying that he didn't he he felt some type of way about her being in scenes or like going on promo tours with the guy from The Little Mermaid with her and then after that let's say like a month or two later it was the Keke Palmer situation where she's on stage with Usher and then her boyfriend makes a comment about that and I'm like I made a comment on one of those blog sites because sometimes I do and I exactly I'm like these are two actresses like and I'm like y'all don't get the fact that like if even when yeah yeah Keke Palmer is enjoying a concert Usher concert you know but it's just like she's still she's still a entertainer she's still going to get the people what they want you know she's going to be a little flirty or whatever whatnot like you have to be with somebody who's going to get that like I don't understand why people were into like well some some a lot of people were seeing what I was saying but some people were in uproar Oh no that's disrespectful or even the the ha- was it Halle Bailey Bailey situation you know like people being saying the same thing like well he he a man he got a right to feel that way I'm like no if you're dating a person who's entertainment specifically an actress you have to be able to understand then there's sometimes be some romantic scene or they gonna do promos but the vigil the individual that they have the lead with you know it's just like I don't know for me like I wouldn't be able to even date somebody who couldn't understand that so but yeah that's me and he's dating streets actually I'm not in deez streets I ain’t even gonna front like I am but you know I'm saying but potentially in these dating streets. OK yeah yeah but enough of that I mean but what what what are your thoughts on it or you don't have Can you imagine being in that situation like?

Tracey: Well let me say this 

Bree:  well maybe maybe before Brandon I mean excuse me maybe before your husband I don't know if you want me to say his name maybe before your husband anybody you dated and you were like but you always knew you wanted to be an actress right?

Tracey:  I knew I wanted to be an actress since college I know I wanted to be an entertainer since I was little yeah but acting I think I I think I knew I wanted to be an actor when the fall semester started my freshman year of college or maybe like the summer before that or something like that but before then I always wanted to be an entertainer and you said before my husband there really was no before my husband because we've been together for so long.

Bree:  Yeahhh… I forgot about that 

Tracey:  So when we met I was a theater major and so he knew what it was you know he knew what it was and I I can't speak on a person in Hollywood because in Hollywood it's something totally different that's a whole different beast as you know and so I'm not I don't know how he would be if I was like world famous actress I don't know how he would be hopefully he would still be the way he is very secure and who he is trusting all of that good stuff but the Keke Palmer thing I really don't pay too much attention to all those details about people because I don't have time for it so I don't know all the INS and outs but I had heard I heard about it and I just think that like you said a man or a person needs to be secure in who they are if they're going to be with a person who's an entertainer because your job is to entertain and to you know you want you would want to have fans you would want your art to be seen so yeah if you're immature I don't know immaturity plays a role in these things all kinds of different things play a role so you have to you have to be mature you have to know who you are you and I I mean I just feel like Brandon and I we… thank God we have our own lives so you know we don't have time to be what you doing where let me what what you doing where you at we don't do that stuff like yeah oh 

Bree:  that's good that's good OK Tracy Farrar Young … and the magic bag oh she always used to care about a big bag like most black women but hers would have everything in it but the kitchen sink so we gave it a nickname of the magic bag so it'll be Tracy and the magic bag.  Where is the magic bag Tracey?

Tracey: oh the magic bag oh it's been many new bags that have come along since then but yes do you know people I work with will say “Tracey you got you got a paper clip?  You got you got a toe nail clipper? you got this you got that?” aaa I know Tracy always has everything that's crazy that

Bree: but you be having it though right?

Tracey:  Yes.

Bree:  Tracey, you so crazy well let's let's get to what we really well what I really wanted to talk about today because I I gave miss Tracy Ferrara called the other day guys and This is why I wanted to interview her because I was like you know what's going on and I'll do the usual catch up talking about acting and stuff like that and she was like well Bree… I'm actually taking a break from acting right now and I was like oh Tracy I and and granted I had that wasn't the first time I heard another actor said they're taking a break from acting but if anybody knows this woman if anybody knows her they know like it's like in her blood like and just casual conversations Tracy is just so naturally animated she naturally puts on the show she's actually holding back a lot for y'all right now who's watching I don't know what's going on but she's usually very very animated and just naturally so not not trying to be extra anything that's just her personality so like she's one of those people like you should act you know you meet her you're like you should be on the stage somewhere you should be acting somewhere and that just shocked me when she told me like she's taking a break from acting so Tracy I wanted to ask you like cause we I don't think we dive too much into it when we were on the phone that day but what was your reasoning for taking a break from acting and it's this or or I don't know if you said I'm taking a break or you said I'm not acting what's your reason for not acting right now is it a break or are or is this something you decide to come out of fully and how long is the break if it is a break?

Tracey:  Well it is a break I did it I don't know it happened it happened naturally I didn't just say you know next week I'm going to take a break from acting I don't know during the quarantine my interests began to shift because at the beginning of the quarantine I was doing all of the virtual acting workshops you know I was always looking to you know looking for when the next virtual event was going to be so that I could like take my little notes on this you know comic comic comedic workshop this dramatic workshop you know how to do a great audition all of these things I was doing all of these things and then something told me you know what during this time why don't you work on you know learning Spanish because I've always wanted to learn Spanish I always wanted to learn to speak it fluently and I've taken classes like in school I took classes and even at elementary school that's it was the craziest thing like one day my mother she was a teacher and we were in a store like a teacher supply store and I was like “Mommy, can you buy me this Spanish textbook?”  and she's like “OK” and she bought it and so now this girl my fifth grade class she stole it where's the camera cause wherever you are I know you took my book I'm not gonna say her name I'm not gonna say her name I’m not gonna say it but…

Bree: we won't say her name she knows who she is 

Tracey: she knows who she she knows who she is girl stole my book but anyway that was umm one of the one of the moments that you know I can say like really like show how much I wanted to learn Spanish so I had to anyway I took a bunch of Spanish classes like through you know required courses that I had to take anyway so I was like let me during the quarantine I was like let me try to you know really study Spanish you have time we're not going anywhere so let me study so I started off slowly trying to like learn song lyrics and all of this stuff anyway eventually Spanish took over and I was like you know what I don't feel like trying to find auditions I just want to study Spanish I just want to watch telenovelas I wanna learn you know song lyrics I wanna watch you know these movies with subtitles and I wanna find Spanish courses and so that's what I started doing and slowly but surely I was like you know what my passion for acting has been eclipsed by my passion for learning Spanish very interesting and I prayed about it and I said Lord what is this it made me don't make me start crying on here Bree I'm not going to cry out here but it made me sad like I'm not gonna cry on here see Bree Bree brings out the tears in me because we we we talk about these things and she understands what I'm talking about and then I start crying-  but anyway I'm not going to do it but I I got sad I was like this is something I want to do my whole life like why I'm not gon cry I'm not I'm not doing it-

Bree:  it's OK Tracey

Tracey:  but anyway I'm just gonna say this I prayed about it and I talked to one of my one of my good friends a friend of mine who was in the show Henry Box Brown The Musical with me [OK] and she was like so you always want to learn- I was like what is this why don't I feel like acting I feel like I was like am I giving up I was like is this giving up what is this and so she was like “but you always wanted to learn Spanish you said right?” and I was like yes she was like “OK so that's one of your dreams too so.”  It's one of my dreams too, yeah and so when you-  Go ahead.

Bree:  I was gonna say I I think you get emotional about it because like you said it was something that you've been pursuing basically your whole life up until that point you know and it did it feel like a breakup and if we all know breakups are next to death you know I'm saying as far as like the emotional toll it takes on us you know but the the bright side of things is like the realization that we have to come to terms that you know God gives us more than one gift Tracy you know and like you know you you you've told me before and and through this is like with you always want to learn Spanish but also you found a joy in teaching as well you know so and that's a gift that I feel like you naturally have as well it's like of course the the sadness is it when it feels like a breakup but the joy I think a lot of creatives need to and that's why I say creatives because like for a long the longest time even myself I just labeled myself as an actor and actress you know what I'm saying but just like no I'm more than that you know I I started like writing during the pandemic and I was like but I did but then you're you're fearful of like labeling yourself all these other titles if you don't have a lot of experience with it but we do have to just come to terms like you know we we are born with more than one gift or acquire more than one gift during times what they say the richest place on the earth is the cemetery because all those gifts are buried there you know so you have to pat yourself on the back for even being able to come to terms to explore like another area in your life that you're good at you know so don't be sad girl but I get it.

Tracey:  No but thank you but that was then now I'm OK I went I did go through that time but I'm OK now I prayed about it and I was like I was you know like what is this so I'm OK now and I'm happy no I'm happy now and I feel like this is what the Lord is leading me to do he's leading me to do this and so I started writing also during the pandemic and during the quarantine I should say and I submitted some plays to theater festivals like virtual theater festivals and they were selected and so they were performed I was like Lord what is going on… Let me find out Lord and do you know my mother would always say stuff like she would we'd be on the phone talking about whatever and she would say something like “Trace, you know you're a writer you should write something about that”… I’m thinking to myself… Mommy I'm an actor I wrote poetry when I was little and stuff I you know I wrote poetry in high school and all I was like but I'm an actor so… turns out I'm a writer too.  So she was actually right.

Bree: she's a writer she's a teacher she's an actress she does it all ladies and gentlemen well I I told you this is going to be a short interview but I did want to you know ask my final question before leaving you oh and one day you're going to have to come in studio by the way too if you ever and he's southern parts ma’ ma'am 

Tracey:  well that sounds good to me.

Bree:  You know.  But uh I wanted to ask you because you are like I said I'm sorry I I can't think of another word to describe you but just so full of life and animated that I can't even fathom a moment where you're like was dimmed but have you ever had that moment where someone or something dimmed your light and you felt like a need to come out of that situation?

Tracey: Yes many times.  Just you know times along the way you know it could have been a bad audition it could have been some I don't know it could have been some defeat that I felt like that I didn't do as good a job as I prepared to that I had prepared myself to do and it could be any small thing any any small way that I felt that someone looked at me as a person who didn't have what it took you know what I mean so [yeah] yes definitely there were times when I gave up for like two hours I was like you know I get I quit acting I gave up yeah I quit for two hours a few times once sometimes I would quit for a day but Brandon- [and then you’ll be like what was I thinking] Yup let's get back to it I would I would tell Brandon Brandon I quit he would say alright as long as you go back to it because he was he knew like I wasn't ready then to like take a break yeah because back then I didn't like I wanted a break but yeah now yeah now I know that my faith in God will carry me through to whatever I need to do and yes I feel stronger and of course there's always going to be those times but as long as you know how to come out of those times that's the that's what's important.

Bree: That part that part. Tracey Farrar thank you so much for spending all this time with me and sharing your story and like letting people know that it's OK to take a break you know acting will be there if you decide to return you know and for us to you know get to the point that we have more than one gift you know 

Tracey:  yeah 

Bree:  gracias mi amiga. did I say that right?... at least you honest

Tracey: it was good it was good yeah yes it was 

Bree:  all right well thank you in English thank you again 

Tracey:  no that was good no Bree that was good I'm sorry I should have been I was like well the pronunciation 

Bree:  No you should!  That’s the teacher in you.  Ain’t nothing wrong with that.  

Tracey:  It’s the teacher in me but that was that was good that was good you because you you because you tried so that's why it was good you tried.  It was a very good effort.

Bree:  OK and that’s something a teacher would say I like that well thank you Tracy and thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of A Brighter Bree and remember don't let nobody dim your light Aight… ‘Til next time, peace