Have you ever had one of those days where you can't seem to keep it together? Misplacing your car keys, running late for the school run, or leaving your child behind in a supermarket can be some of the most frustrating experiences ever. But guess what? You're not alone! In this podcast episode, we're going to share some of our own experiences dealing with ADHD, especially when it comes to juggling the demands of parenting and school life. We'll talk about the ups, downs, and the hilarious moments that come with it. But it's not all chuckles and belly laughs because we deeply feel the negative beliefs and pressures associated with being an ADHD mum. Louise shares her journey of being diagnosed with ADHD at 44 and how it might be linked to perimenopause. Share in our laughter and our struggles, and take solace in the fact that you're not alone in your ADHD journey. You can expect to hear everything from losing backpacks and car keys to struggling with school commitments. And, of course, we'll share some funny stories too - like when Lou forgot she had driven to school and ended up walking back home! So sit tight and get ready for a good laugh because this one will be fun!
Have you ever had one of those days where you can't seem to keep it together? Misplacing your car keys, running late for the school run, or leaving your child behind in a supermarket can be some of the most frustrating experiences ever. But guess what? You're not alone! In this podcast episode, we're going to share some of our own experiences dealing with ADHD, especially when it comes to juggling the demands of parenting and school life. We'll talk about the ups, downs, and the hilarious moments that come with it. But it's not all chuckles and belly laughs because we deeply feel the negative beliefs and pressures associated with being an ADHD mum. Louise shares her journey of being diagnosed with ADHD at 44 and how it might be linked to perimenopause. Share in our laughter and our struggles, and take solace in the fact that you're not alone in your ADHD journey. You can expect to hear everything from losing backpacks and car keys to struggling with school commitments. And, of course, we'll share some funny stories too - like when Lou forgot she had driven to school and ended up walking back home! So sit tight and get ready for a good laugh because this one will be fun!
This is a special edition episode recorded from a webinar.
Speaker 1:
Good afternoon and welcome to our podcast. We are the ADHD Vaz and we are chatting about all things ADHD, feminism, diagnosis, medication. Welcome to our podcast. We do hope you enjoy and give us some feedback.
Speaker 1:
It's Walk to School week this week, so I was taking my boys across the playing field because it's the kind of quickest way to get to school. They were desperate to cycle, which was fine. So, the smallest one, he's only he's going to be six very soon, but he's, you know, a delicate little flower. So we were cycling across the field and he said Mum, you have to carry my bag because it's too heavy for me and he has very petite. So he's put a lunch bag and stuff in it. So I carried it on my bag, on my back. Sorry, it gets into school. You know they cycle away through the gates, put their bikes away and I had to tow them. So I walked all the way home and I realised that I still had his backpack on my back. Wonderful, I didn't have the energy to walk it back.
Speaker 1:
Drove round to the school and gave it to the teacher who was at the reception desk, and she said oh, I've just tried to phone you twice. He is absolutely sobbing. She said he's very upset. He came round to me one of the week I was in his class to say could you get Lucy's backpack from his mum? So then you left feeling like utter shite because you've walked all the way home with his backpack and I knew that he would be upset. I was trying to get round there in a hurry so that I could get it into the teacher before he even really had time to process that he didn't have it with him. So he'd be worried that he's going to get into trouble. He'd be worried that he was going to starve and die of thirst all day because he didn't know how to put lunch in a school bag.
Speaker 2:
The story you just said about taking Lewis to school and coming back from his backpack coming back with his backpack, sorry, and the whole drama and the connotations around that and the way it kind of resurfaces these negative beliefs we have about ourselves I obviously I can really relate to that. But in particular I can relate to the school situation. I don't know about other people, but I find I consistently feel that I'm not as organised as the other, mostly mums okay, you know it is mostly mums. Sometimes they're talking about things on the WhatsApp chat and I haven't got a clue, so I just think I'll just stay quiet. Or sometimes it creates panic in me and I think am I not doing enough for my kids? Because I don't know what this is about or I forget. So they had a meeting a few weeks ago about helping your child with their phonics at home for my six year old in her class and I had all good intentions. I read the email. I'll go to that. There's no reason I can't go. And the day I turned up, that day I turned up to pick her up. I thought it's really quiet at pick up but it was because all the other parents were in this meeting and I'd completely forgotten about it, and it just it's.
Speaker 2:
The school environment really is quite triggering for me because I feel like it impacts negatively on the kids that are, you know, mary's mum's forgotten this, iris' mum's forgotten X, y and Z.
Speaker 2:
To balance that out, though, I do feel that the school that my kids go to and I'm not sure about other parents it feels like there's a lot, there's a lot of correspondence, there's a lot to remember, there are a lot of events. They've got activities, pe one day, you know, running club the next, or peak it for that, and then they've got to change into their uniform. And I think that's where the overwhelm comes in, and particularly because I'm always trying to just, you know, pretend that I've got my shit together. I don't have my shit together upsetting, I think, because it's about my children and I feel like it impacts on them and the pressure around that is quite enormous, I feel, and that that's probably why a lot of us females now probably one of the reasons you know, I'm 40, I've got three children, you know we're going through the school system it really is unmanageable at times for me and for lots of us. It makes sense that a lot of women are coming forward and being diagnosed at this point in their lives.
Speaker 1:
Yes, yes, yes, I completely hear what you're saying in terms of school. There are lots and lots of things for you to try and remember. I am completely hopeless at that, but I'm very lucky I have a couple of good friends as school moms who will send me a message and say remember swimming kit this morning, which is great, and I love that. Even though we've got like a school app that they put reminders on, I don't look at the app, I turn the notifications off because there's so many things hanging through on my phone the whole time.
Speaker 2:
I do think it's easier to laugh at your ADHD moments once you know you have ADHD, though, right, because it was probably about a week before I had my assessment and, consequently, my diagnosis of ADHD. We were all rushing, trying to leave the house, high stress levels, wear the car keys, and I knew that it was me who had put them somewhere. I couldn't find them and everybody was in the car and I was in the house looking for them and I was just crying and just thinking. It's a simple thing, isn't it? Losing your car keys? Everyone does it, but when you do it constantly and it's constantly just another source of stress and upset. I just broke down and thought what? I'm literally just causing everybody so much bother and stress. And then my lovely husband came in and was like oh look, they're right down the sofa, we've got them. He was my saviour. He is my saviour, but still, fucks sake, louise.
Speaker 1:
Yes, absolutely. It is very upsetting because you just end up berating yourself over and over and over again like, oh, here I go again. I've messed up and sometimes those things can be quite expensive. Because I'm just going to give you an example of another thing that I've done recently. My best friend is getting married this year in August and we have her Hindu coming up.
Speaker 1:
Obviously I live in the Channel Islands, the Hindu's in Scotland up in Edinburgh, so it's quite complex to get flights and whatever they are, because there's not a direct flight. So I booked my flights from Guernsey to Jersey and then Jersey to Edinburgh on the Friday and then I also booked flights to come home on the Sunday from Edinburgh to Jersey and then Jersey to Guernsey. We were chatting the other night meeting my husband and he said so what time is your flight back on Sunday? And I said oh, hang on, I'll just have a little look. Then I realised that I had actually deleted all the emails because, you know, one day I was being dead organised and normally I have about 6,000 unread messages in my emails. So it turns out that I had deleted the booking reference numbers, everything, so I had no record of these flights.
Speaker 1:
I managed to log into ECJ and Blue Islands online great. And I said, oh oh, I never realised I was coming back on the Monday. I thought I was coming back on the Sunday. So I double checked through all the flights so, yeah, friday was bang on, perfect. And then the Sunday I was looking and I said, oh no, it is, I've booked it for the Sunday.
Speaker 1:
Oh no, that one says the Monday hmm, so it turns out the Sunday when all the rest of the hens and bridesmaids are going home. I hadn't actually booked a flight to move from Edinburgh to Jersey. I'd booked that leg of the flight for the Monday, but for the Jersey to Guernsey part I was booked it for the Sunday, so that was not going to work. Had a look through, I mean, my husband was quite keen that I would be home on the Sunday, obviously because he is home with the children, um, but it was going to cost me the guts of about 200 and something pounds to correct that mistake. But Blue Islands very kindly allowed me to change my Jersey to Guernsey leg for two pounds. So that was a no-brainer really. It means that I'm going to stay in Edinburgh for an extra night with my best friend and that allows me to decompress. So, while that was going to be a very, very expensive mistake my husband was moaning about it I just said look, it's my ADHD. I've done that and that's what it is. Additionally, I had to email my the part of the hen do that I have organised and I sent an email to the people last week and I can't say this out loud because potentially my best friend might be listening so I cannot divulge because it is a surprise. Anyway, I had emailed my part of the. I got in touch with the people who the part of the hen that I've organised, and I was waiting and waiting and waiting for a reply. I ended up phoning them saying hi, I sent you an email last week, you know, just to finally confirm final numbers and balance to be paid, etc, etc. And she was like I have not come across your email. So I came off the phone and had to look through my emails. I'd only gone and emailed myself to Laura from Laura, I mean, when I'm sat there waiting for a reply, getting annoyed that there's no reply has come through. Well, that'll be why, because I never actually emailed it to them, I emailed it to myself. What an absolute trooper. I mean I can laugh about this now because I know it's my ADHD, whatever. But some things like that they, you know, look, depending on what your reserve tank is like that day, they can, honestly, they can really cause some kind of emotional breakdown. So, yeah, that was. That was one thing.
Speaker 1:
We've come to that part of the podcast where we're about to share some stories from some of our listeners that got in touch with us via a post that we put on on Facebook. Thanks to everybody who shared. The very first comment on it, though, from Janie Rowlands. The coming soon banner covers the name of your podcast. Oh great, well done, laura. Yeah, another Laura is them, and it's absolutely true. There's a big black banner across the name of the podcast that says episode 2, coming soon. Episode 2 of what? So? Thanks for pointing that out, janie Rowlands. It did make me laugh.
Speaker 1:
Someone else, hannah Richardson, has written in to say I can't think of the most ADHD thing, but I've left my phone in a supermarket before and when I went back to find it it was in one of the freezers. And it turns out that she had actually put it there and left it when she was reaching in to get some turkey dinosaurs. Natasha Shepard has written. Most of mine involve being oddly attracted to water sea, river, canal. I'm in breast or not. Expensive phone in pocket. Who cares? The other half is getting me a wet suit for my birthday. I can ask back to Natasha about was it just that you have the you know, the impulsive urge to jump in the water? And she said yes, but she's also very clumsy and she tried to cross a wet road in Amsterdam, but it turned out to be a canal. She stepped out nonchalantly.
Speaker 1:
Now this next one by Tara is it Simone or Simon? Is apostrophe E at the end of Simon, simone? Sorry if I've not pronounced that right, but Tara, this has to be one of my favorite stories and I'm sorry if it's inappropriate to laugh, but Tara has written. The worst one for her was leaving her child in the supermarket. I Mean I'm definitely interested to know more about this, tara, like what were the circumstances of you leaving your child in the supermarket? Did you forget that you had the child with you?
Speaker 1:
You've also written about leaving a birthday cake that you'd paid 60 pounds for on the top of the risk while Trying to fasten the baby and then drove off and the cakes blathered all over the floor. I mean, there's so many of us that can relate to To that kind of thing, and All be it funny now when you're retelling the story. Actually, that's absolutely heart breaking at the time. You know, because I understand that you bought that birthday cake, I assume, for maybe a birthday party or somebody's birthday. You are collecting it very close to the birthday, you've paid money for it and and then you know at the end of the day you're short of a birthday cake and that really makes you feel Shit about yourself, doesn't it? I'm glad you can laugh at him. Thank you for sharing. But yeah, I would definitely love to hear more about Leaving your child in the supermarket. So please get in touch and Elaborate a little bit more on that story.
Speaker 1:
And Lauren may has written in to us about getting pulled over in the motorway by the police Because she was driving with no tax and no MOT, because she forgot those things even existed, and I Actually cried at the police lady and thanked her because they stopped me and I would never have known. Bless you, I mean that. That tickled me and I'm glad you've laughed. But again, that can be quite a costly thing to have forgotten about between fines from the police and points on your license. And Lauren's also written in to say that. Another funny one, now that she looks back, is that multiple times she's withdrawn money from the cash point, she's taken our card and but walked away without the money. I know that is I mean if you can laugh about it, but with you know that's the only money that you had and I can see how, you know, something like that can completely make somebody way ADHD spiral into an emotional meltdown.
Speaker 1:
Now this next one is another one that's up there for me as one of my favourites on here. It's from Emily KTJ and she has written on to tell us a story about when she had driven to school I assume to drop the kids off. She forgot that she drove there but walked home. And then she had a client round to do her nails and Emily noticed that her car wasn't on the driveway. So she told her client in a panic that she thought the car had been stolen off the driveway and she was ready and set to call the police when the client encouraged her to retrace her steps from the morning. So they walked to the school, speed walking, because Emily was convinced that the car wasn't going to be there, because surely she would know if she had driven to school. And yeah, there was, the car sat in the car park. And she goes on to say that she wasn't diagnosed back then. But she wasn't surprised when she received her diagnosis a few months ago. I just think that was absolutely hilarious, but equally I know that you probably didn't think that was funny at the time and I can easily see how you could go on to berate yourself for that. Thank goodness you hadn't called the police, because that would be a whole different story, wouldn't it?
Speaker 1:
Anna Rolo, forgetting to pick her kids up from the school, natalie Nolan, she kept forgetting to fill her car up with petrol and she ended up running out on the road right outside of her work and there was a bus behind her. She rang into her office and they all waved at her through the window. Her boss and the bus driver had to push her car with her in it to the petrol station round the corner. It was hilarious and she was mortified. Helen Selling, my most recent and most ironic ADHD moment was when I completed all the forms for my upcoming ADHD assessment and wrote an email to send to the consultant psychiatrist.
Speaker 1:
I was worried that I hadn't got everything correct before sending the email to her, so I sent it to my husband first to check the email, which was titled Please check this before I send to the psych. He told me it was all fine, but failed to notice that I'd added an O to the title of the email and I forgot to change the title when I sent it over to the psychiatrist. Yes, you've guessed it. I sent the consultant psychiatrist an email with the title Please check this before I send it to the psycho. I hope the psychiatrist saw the funny side of that, because it is quite funny. Poor Alex Cohen has written into us to say that she was driven all the way from London to Glastonbury without my tickets, two years in a row. I think you and Natalie Sanderson, you know there's some similarities there. I think we're kind of starting to see a thema merging here.
Speaker 1:
Gladys Alder, I once had a horrible little accident involving bugs, custard powder. I'm really bad at putting lids back on jars and things when I put them away, and sometimes I just lay the lid on top without tightening, and that is what I did with this big drum of custard powder. So when I reached it down from the top shelf and it slipped from my little hand, I got a full face of the stuff and thought I'd be blinded. It's scary at the time and it's a very true story. That sounds like a messy job and I probably would have cried because the stress of feeling as if you know it's all in your eyes and you're going to go blind, but then you also have to tidy up the custard powder that would have you know. That's enough to ruin your day, isn't it?
Speaker 1:
Justine McLaughlin has written in to say that in January she spent two days looking for a pan lid for the slow cooker and she couldn't find it and she says that she lives alone so she couldn't blame it on anyone else. She found it two days later in the fridge. She took a picture and sent it to her best friend and said here's any DHD brain at work moment. I went on holiday and got home a week later to realise I never actually took the lid out of the fridge. After sending the picture, told my friend about it, only to be asked if I had taken out this time, which I still hadn't. So back to the kitchen and the lid was finally removed after about two weeks, after I lost it and she submitted a photograph of the slow cooker lid in the fridge.
Speaker 1:
I mean, we're all guilty of putting things in the fridge because they don't worry about it. I mean I'm there quite often. I put my car keys in the fridge or the salt, you know, just mindlessly putting things away. Hannah Richardson has thought of another story and the other month she came across a video of someone using stick on eyebrows. So I looked at them on eBay and accidentally clicked buy now and had one click buy on. So they came with some handy, tiny scissors that I've actually used. If only Carly Leanne Town has written not being able to remember all the DHD things I've done.
Speaker 1:
Robin Dillon signing up to weigh too many courses and then feeling overwhelmed. Buying too much of everything and then feeling overwhelmed by that. And Robin, I get you, I'm absolutely guilty of that as well. As Louise has very kindly commented that Laura Spence loves a course or 10. I mean, I'm probably doing one, two, three, four courses at the moment. I just absolutely love learning. I think that's what it is. Learning must be my dopamine fix, but again, it's one of those things that you know once you've bought the course or whether you've, once you've signed up to it. It's the maintenance of that course, because I think what gives you the dopamine hit is probably the initial oh yeah, I can do this course and then I'll be able to do X, y and Z as a result of that. But actually some of the time it's really difficult to motivate yourself to even complete the course in the first place.
Speaker 1:
Vicki Darville has written in to say I get stuck in things repeatedly. I got my finger and hand stuck in things because I want to see if it fits, and then I have to get help to get released and then I go and do it again immediately after to see if it was really stuck. I forever get my arm stuck down the bar of a shopping trolley and one day I'm sure I'm gonna have to go home with the shopping trolley attached to me. My partner's favourite one is to tell everyone about when we were building IKEA drawers and I got entirely stuck inside the unit. Thank you for sharing that one, vicki. It did make me laugh.
Speaker 1:
Victoria Bradshaw has said that she loves the first podcast. There's a lovely, honest account of your life and experience and she's looking forward to hearing more. Thanks for sharing, victoria, that you have recently been diagnosed, at the age of 44, with ADHD and you're on the medication and going through the titration, which is a bit up and down, understandably, and the diagnosis potentially was linked to perimenopause, exacerbating the symptoms which we know when the estrogen hormone drops in your body when you're an older female and estrogen kind of. So thank you for sharing, victoria Bradshaw, and thank you very much for listening and giving us a nice compliment about our podcast. We do hope that it has a positive impact.
Speaker 1:
Natalie Sanderson, taking my kids to see Santa on the wrong date two years in a row I mean, natalie, I'm right there with you. That is absolutely something that I would do if I was prepared to take my children to see Santa. But I just think, queuing up, waiting for your turn to see Santa, when they're probably just fucking cry at him anyway, I've never actually. I might have done once, actually years ago. But well done for attempting to take them to see Santa. Yeah, I mean it's completely relatable, but thank you for sharing. It has a big role to play in your ADHD symptoms. When we have lots of estrogen, for example in pregnancy, a lot of people find their ADHD gets better, but then, of course, it drops when we're heading towards the menopause and that in itself can make the symptoms worse. But oh sorry, there's my dog, leah.
Speaker 1:
Nicole has written to say my 11-year-old son has a phone that isn't allowed to be taken outside. It was a hand me down it was an iPhone XR, so not the cheapest times why he wasn't allowed to take it outside. He lost it for around six months In this time I had ransacked the house, his bedroom. I was even unscrewing his eye-care chest of drawers, thinking there might have been stuck down the back, but it wasn't. We found it six months later on top of the fridge. Her son isn't tall enough to reach, so she reckons that she had taken it off him and stuck it up there and then didn't remember. I'd gotten to the point that I was telling him he was never having a phone again because he must have taken it secretly outside and lost it. So, yeah, what would have been having his phone taken off him for the rest of the day led to six months with no phone and me thinking he'd had it outside and lost it. Poor guy, I mean, that's a classic Leah.
Speaker 1:
Thanks for sharing. So that's all we've got time to look today. Thank you very much to everybody again for writing into us to share the stories. Do follow us on social media. Hopefully we're gonna have a social media page up and running over the next week or so and a website. Louise and I are very grateful for every single person who has listened to the podcast, who's listened to us morning talking about our mental health and sharing it in the funny stories.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, so we'll see you next week for episode three. That should be fun to try and record because it's half term next week. So you know, louise has three kids. I've got three kids. Louise is actually just moving house, so it all is getting a little bit complicated, but we will try our very best to get episode three to you next Thursday. Give us a shout. Our email address I don't actually know off the top of my head, so just put it in the comments below. I think it's ADHDVUS Podcast 2, the number two at gmailcom, but that might be wrong. Otherwise, you can message either of us on our social media pages. I am the ADHD midwife. If you type that into your socials, you'll find me there, and Louise is Louise Brady. Okay, dope, have a great day, have a lovely weekend and we'll catch up with you all next week. Thanks for listening. ["the ADHDVUS Podcast 2"]. Thank you so much for tuning in to our podcast. This has been the ADHDVUS Laura and Louise, and we will see you same time, same place next week. Have a great week.