Success Secrets and Stories
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Success Secrets and Stories
Developing First Impression Communication Skills with Presence
Can the key to becoming an extraordinary leader lie in mastering executive presence and communication? This episode promises to unveil the secrets behind making powerful first impressions and maintaining credibility in any setting. Drawing from Dina Denham-Smith's enlightening article on self-management, we distill four essential steps to boost your executive presence: welcoming feedback, refining communication skills, testing new behaviors, and staying fully present. Through compelling personal stories and real-life examples, we reveal how projecting confidence, poise, and authenticity can significantly elevate your leadership game.
Join us as we share practical insights and actionable strategies to enhance your executive presence. From commanding attention in pivotal moments with decisive actions to leveraging resources like Toastmasters International for honing public speaking skills, we cover it all. Authenticity is a recurring theme, with crucial advice on avoiding verbal qualifiers that can weaken your message. We emphasize the importance of being fully engaged in every conversation to exude executive presence. Remember, these skills are not innate but can be developed over time. Tune in and begin your journey to becoming a more effective and inspiring leader today.
Presented by John Wandolowski and Greg Powell
Hello everyone and welcome to our podcast Success Secrets and Stories. I'm your host, john Wondolowski, and I'm here with my co-host and friend.
Speaker 2:Greg Powell. Hey, hey everybody, and today I wanted to talk about something we've talked about in the past.
Speaker 1:I think what is kind of fun is that when you're talking about leadership and you're trying to talk about the things that are important and you're trying to talk about the things that are important, it's really important for people to be able to hear you, and presenting is one of those skills that I find really important to try to get across. I come across articles all the time, and I think this one particular article hit me in terms of the title it was managing yourself. So if you want to lead, master this skill. And it was done by Dina Denham-Smith on June 30th of 2021, from the Harvard Business Review, and she's a very interesting lady. She's an executive coach and leadership advisor. Author. Keynote speaker. She's also the CEO of Cognitus Cognitus. Keynote speaker. She's also the CEO of Cognitus Cognitus Thank you, craig, you saved me again and she helps others and teams to reach their heights in terms of success, but also to understand the importance of trying to give a good presentation, and I found her article interesting because it was concise.
Speaker 1:So she starts off as a professional. You are being judged not only by your performance but by your presence. People form an impression and they make decisions within seconds of meeting you. The real question is not whether or not you are creating an impression, but rather will you create an impression that you want? And then there's basically four steps that she talks about Relying on feedback, tuning in into how to communicate, experimenting with new behaviors and being in the present. And what we're going to do is we're going to expand on that a little bit so that it has some context. So, greg, why don't you start us off?
Speaker 2:All right. So being a senior mentor, if you've ever asked a senior leader or mentor what it takes to rise to the C-suite, generally their answer is something called executive presence. In addition to timing, of course, experience, network and confidence describes this as a missing link between merit and success, and a combination of self-confidence, poise and authenticity that impacts your ability to inspire confidence in others to believe in and follow you. So imagine you're smart as a whip, you know your discipline backwards and forwards, yet you don't convey that in your presence. And when you're sitting and, John, I can say, when you're sitting in the room, when you're sitting in the room, you need to look like you're supposed to be in the room, right, Right, so it's pretty straightforward, but it's less clear how exactly to develop executive presence.
Speaker 2:So you might get some feedback. Like you need to work on your presence. You're like what are you talking about? It's kind of murky, kind of difficult to understand, right? Especially if you're a first-time manager. You're just starting out in your career. So Hewitt has a client who recently went through this experience. Several months after joining a new company, he was blindsided, confused, when his manager told him he needed to level up his presence. When he prided. Further, he learned that his team found him too informal and he was causing him to lose credibility, and that's a shame. Right Again, he's a subject matter expert, but you need more, John.
Speaker 1:And I think whenever you're talking about presence and you're talking about formal, it's reading the room. That informal approach might work in the office or in the business or on the production floor, but when you go to the executive suite, there's expectations on a presentation being quote-unquote, a level up, and it's being as businesslike and as concise as you can be and also holding their interest. So you're saying something with meaning, something that has impact, something that has value for them to listen to. I've heard all those things in terms of a description, but whenever they say it's murky, then you have to go dive through what the heck does murky mean to you. It may not be the same thing murky means to me. I think you had a few other points too.
Speaker 2:Thanks, John. Yeah, so if you've ever considered or ever received I'm sorry feedback like this, it's worthwhile to consider the impression you're making on others. So now you're getting away from that content that you know about the presentation, but how are you coming across to the audience? And some of that coming across is seen through your attitude, body language, your confidence, really your entire being, and, as a professional, you're being judged on your presence as well as your performance Worth repeating. As a professional, you're being judged on your presence as well as your performance. People form an impression of others within seconds of meeting them. We've talked before about you only get one chance to make a good first impression. Here's another one of those avenues that you have to take, just repeating it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's the important part.
Speaker 2:So the real question, then, is not whether you can create an impression, but rather will you do it Kind of the impression that you want? And the good news here is that anyone can build an executive presence. With a little bit of effort, you can improve yours. So I'm going to go to my favorite word feedback. Yeah, so you have to rely on feedback because you're kind of easy on yourself. You can't see things yourself that you're doing. You can say I'm going to practice my presentation in a mirror, I'm going to videotape myself. That's good, but feedback from others on the outside is a gift, especially if you lead, aspire to or understand your impact, that it is essential to get that feedback to improve it.
Speaker 2:So one of the things you can do is ask your manager, your direct reports, maybe some colleagues, coworkers and mentors questions like these how would you describe my style of presence? So just blurt it out when you see me in a room with our peers, what's the image you see? What's the impression? What's your general perception of me? It might be different than what you think it is. You don't know if you don't ask. And what can I do to communicate with more impact? And that's the money question right there, because that's what you're really trying to do here. You're trying to communicate present with much more impact, more effective. You can either create an anonymous survey, send it to trusted contacts, et cetera, but you just need to get some feedback, and the direct way is really to ask your manager for that kind of feedback, because he can also or she can give you coaching and show you what you're doing better for trying some new tactics.
Speaker 1:And if you've recently changed roles or companies, these questions can also help you get attuned to how others perceive you in this new environment. Yeah, If you remember, back in your past, I was the one that came up to you and said, okay, I just gave a presentation and what do you think? What I thought was interesting was your eyes, answered the question before your words of like, rolling the eye going, oh, dude, don't ask me. Rolling the eye going, oh, dude, don't ask me. And I think that honest communication back to me, even though it wasn't long, cause it was painful for you, it was painful for me, but it was that piece of. So what do I do? And your, your advice is there.
Speaker 1:There was, there was training, Um, there was classes. I ended up going to classes and and it made and we're going to be talking about that a little bit later but I went to a coworker and we didn't know each other that long. I was new with the company. So I'm I'm just asking somebody who was a friendly face, how bad was it? And, um, and over the years I have found that friendship as that starting point. It was kind of interesting of yep, you need to work on that. And it was interesting that I've been able to do more on my public speaking and the ability to do a better job of getting ideas across. And it just doesn't stop. I'm always learning. So there's my two cents on public speaking skills, but I do believe that that first time of asking somebody in the room and asking whether it be your leadership, which I didn't want to do at the time, or coworkers, which I felt much more comfortable with getting that feedback, was the gift that I needed and it really did help me a lot.
Speaker 2:Thanks, john. Your presence is inextricably linked to how you communicate, not just through words, but through your nonverbal behavior as well. Everything you say and do sends a message to the audience. Generally, you want to be clear. You want to be concise and project a confident and action-oriented aura. For example, rather than saying I wonder if, say I see it this way based on certain factors, when communicating with more senior audiences, ask yourself if they leave after two minutes. What do I want to make sure they understand? Remember the famous elevator speech? How do you get that together? Get that message out in that period of time, from floor 10 down to floor one. Structure your communication so that your recommendation or bottom line comes first, then add analysis and detail as needed. And here's a little teaser We've got a podcast out there talking about presentations, john back to you.
Speaker 1:Very true, and I also used a little technique within the business environment where I was trying to teach how to get the idea across quickly. So a little bit of my past and I had this in my book. I have the post-it note approach. I have the post-it note approach and it really was my idea of trying to have a very concise message when you first do a project or a white paper or an update in terms of where a construction project's going, and it was really to help them do the best job to keep the executives' attention, and I would limit their summaries to being only one page so you could add all that you want behind it. But the post note is your first two minutes to get the audience attention and your first words are the most important words that you're going to speak in order to hold their attention. Hopefully you're giving them something that they want and that they'll be interested in what else you have to say. So that was one of the keys that I thought was very important. The other component that I thought was interesting is that this article talked about non-verbal behavior, things like good eye contact and projecting your voice and standing straight and being able to speak softly when it was important, or being able to speak with authority.
Speaker 1:The other element of it is are you dressing correctly for the situation that you want to project? If you're standing in front of technicians, you don't have to be in a formal wear. You can wear a casual clothing. If you're dealing with executives, you definitely want to have the opposite. Your nonverbal behavior, your appearance in terms of the message, contribute to how you're being perceived. What you want to do, though, is you want to be your authentic self. You don't want to pretend or look like somebody else. You are who you are, but aware that you're communicating your style. At the same time, requesting the trust of your colleagues to observe you in the meeting and give you feedback is one of the things that Greg talked about immediately afterwards, so that you can get a good idea on what it is that you need to work on and what is it that had some positive effect and what you can do going forward.
Speaker 2:Yeah, greg. Thanks John. A couple of quick things that I wanted to mention. When thinking about presenting or communication skills, I like to get myself in the mood for the level presentation. So if it's really serious, it's upper level, high level. I'll wear my class ring for good luck. Instead of rabbit's foot, I wear a watch. That means a lot to me personally and very fond of it. It has a lot of meaning, and then my daughter will tell you that if you look at my notes, I have two letters, s-d, and I circle them and the S-D is slow down Because, even though I came from Manhattan, kansas, I speak sometimes like I'm from Manhattan, new York. So those little things help keep me in the moment, in the present, to make sure I'm projecting, communicating appropriately Awesome.
Speaker 1:And I think the one part that in this article they talk about experimenting with your behaviors, and it just reminded me of me going to the class after you and I had talked about how well I was doing. I took a class from Dale Carnegie. You and I had talked about how well I was doing, I took a class from Dale Carnegie and I just want to relay some of the things that to experiment with new behaviors. I think the springboard for me just brought back the ideas of projecting to the back of the room and what does that sound like, and having this platform in this classroom to be able to work on projection of my voice. Then they asked me to use my hands, which I thought was kind of interesting because I stood there like a little robot and the example that I had to give them for using my hands was I was going to describe how to do a golf swing, because I had that tendency that I didn't want to move my hands and now I had to move my hands. The third one that I thought was interesting is they had me roll up some paper and smack a desk in order to get the sound of what it sounds like to try to project into a space you want to get somebody's attention. Maybe slapping the table is something that you don't want to do, but sometimes it's dead on.
Speaker 1:I can only think of one occasion when I did that and it was during an emergency event and I had lost the room. They weren't listening, and this was an incident command center kind of approach weren't listening and this was an incident command center kind of approach, and I needed everybody's attention and I wasn't going to be embarrassed. I slapped the desk and I got everybody in the room to go quiet and I said we're not, and I basically directed the team back to their subsets, because we're now, you know, basically not communicating and we have to communicate. So break up into small teams and then let's get back together. This is nonproductive, those projection voices and I'm back to doing the same words that I was using in the meeting because it has impact, it's very direct, there's direct eye contact and that's a good time to practice it. Now, greg, you have an example of practicing some of the skills that I'm talking about in a different format.
Speaker 2:Thank you, john. I worked at several companies over the years that were very strong supporters of a company called Toastmasters International Very, very good company to teach people how to be better public speakers. They got about 280,000 people across the world to participate in these groups. I remember senior leaders coming to me saying Greg, are we going to renew our relationship with Toastmasters? Yes, yes, got some people I think they'll benefit a lot from, and these were folks that had also participated in the program and again, some of the things that John's talking about, maybe some other skills. We're trying to make sure that people feel confident and have a community as well on how to be a better presenter.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and from her article I thought was interesting that I'll pick out some of the tidbits that I really thought were right on the mark. While new behaviors may feel uncomfortable at first, they shouldn't be entirely inauthentic. Your presence must build your authenticity, because they can smell a fraud from a mile away and if you are perceived as a phony and insecure, you will damage your career development and being your authentic self, I think, is the key that she was trying to say, and I can tell you that you should be as transparent and as honest as you can be, because that comes through very clearly. That's probably one of the best tools in order to be able to speak. One of the entertainment things that I was told is trying to learn how to sell something, how to present something, and my favorite was they had me try to sell a banana. Now I had to get past the ridiculous concept of selling a banana, but by golly I can tell you about a Chiquita banana and I can make you feel like that banana has a real value in comparison to the rest of the industry. I can go back to that conversation, I can go back to that presentation and I remember how much fun I had just talking about the banana. It's the point that you have to be comfortable and bring that authenticity to whatever you're doing as far as a presentation. That's what they're looking for. They're looking for you to have the confidence at the same time.
Speaker 1:Another point that she brought up was using terms like verbal qualifiers of just, or, I think, or it should be. All those you know almost completed but have no confidence in are not the kind of things that you want to say You're supposed to have that direct ability to. I'm sorry, you need to be able to say I have X, y and Z. That supports this concept that we need to proceed on. That. Confidence is what they're looking for in a presentation. If they wanted a presentation on questions, they're probably going to send you back and have you do it again, and I think that's the other part practicing delivering those kind of recommendations with authority or confidence and that's the other part of experimenting on giving different presentations.
Speaker 1:Now, dale Carnegie had an interesting quote take a chance. All life is a chance. The man who goes the furthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare and dare, and I think that is the other element that I found interesting in terms of what he did in his training programs. Greg, I think you have the concept on being in the present. I do, john.
Speaker 2:It is just that, being present. Last but not least, you must be present to have presence. You just got to be there. You've heard John and I talk before about be here. Now Same thing here. If you're multitasking, your mind is wandering, you're thinking about what's piling up at your desk, got a meeting coming up that's going to detract from your presence now. Instead, keep your focus in the moment, demonstrating that you're fully present by asking thoughtful questions or sharing comments that logically follow from the conversation. That shows that you're being present. By staying mentally present, you will be more attuned to both the content of the discussion and your ability to participate with other people in the room. This enhanced awareness will help you show up in a more intellectual way, emotionally intelligent as well, and thereby demonstrate higher levels of executive presence. So to get and show executive presence, you got to start off by being present, john.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and hopefully what we're talking about has been a little bit of help. And in her summary she brings up that executive presence isn't an inherent characteristic reserved for the fortunate few. It is an acquired skill that you can develop and improve on over time, but start now. Decoding and developing this important asset will increase your chances to become a leader that you want to be. Important asset will increase your chances to become a leader that you want to be. So hopefully this is a little bit of a mental jog on what it's like in terms of presentation and the importance of being able to practice it.
Speaker 1:I hope it helps and if you like what you've heard on this podcast well, there's more. You can find it in my book, in my e-book, available on Amazon and Barnes Noble websites. Thank you for listening on this podcast. The podcast is also available in other popular formats, but we appreciate you listening. A lot of my work and a lot of my discussion is really based on Dr Durst's book on the MBR program and his information can be found at successgrowthacademycom. If you'd like to contact us, my email address is wandos75.jw at gmailcom. And Greg.
Speaker 2:I can be reached at G Powell three seven four at gmailcom.
Speaker 1:Awesome and the music is brought to you by my grandson. So we want to hear from you. Drop us a line, Tell us what you think and maybe some other subjects that you might want us to go dive into. So thank you very much and thanks Greg.
Speaker 2:Thanks, john, as always.
Speaker 1:Next time.