Embracing Liberation: A Journey Through Faith, Identity, and Spiritual Deliverance

Once I navigated the unpredictable currents of my own faith, a new chapter began. Waving farewell to February, my heart is steeped in gratitude for the unexpected blessings it poured into my life, from the sweet victory of securing a job to the soul-stirring all-night prayers at Cornerstone Christian Church of God. As I turn the pages of Leviticus and the Book of Mark, I'm eager to uncover the mysteries within and share them with you. March promises to unfold powerful narratives on our show, featuring a woman whose brush with mortality has reshaped her reality, and a hint of April's special guest stokes the fires of anticipation even further.

The path to healing can be tumultuous, marked by shadows of past hurts, and my own journey treads through the realms of church hurt and restoration. After stepping back from the church in a period of disillusionment, the embrace of Coniston Christian Church of God became a sanctuary for my weary spirit. My narrative is steeped in the realities of false accusations and the rebuilding of trust, opening up a dialogue on how one can heal under the grace of spiritual guidance. Our candid discourse aims to light the way for those wrestling with their own inner turmoil.

On a more intimate note, I bare my soul about a dream that stirred deep-seated conflicts over identity and sexuality. This internal struggle, symbolized by a wedding to a woman, laid bare the battles I face and pushed me to seek wisdom from Pastor Ibukun Adewusi.This episode is a candid revelation of my quest for liberation from what I once perceived as the stronghold of a lesbian spirit. It's a testament to the divine protection and the power of embracing our true selves as children of God, which can set us free from any chains of spiritual bondage. Join us as we explore these profound narratives, seeking to inspire and uplift through the power of shared testimony and faith.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Good morning, good morning, good morning, sense. I want to welcome you guys to the Warwick Updash Padcast. Welcome, welcome, welcome to our last Monday of the month of February. We are so excited February 26th 2024. I pray that your February went it's going very, very well and that you had a wonderful February.

Speaker 1: 0:27

February was a month of full of love and full of joy. A lot of you guys celebrate Valentine's Day, the single ones you know. We coop up in our beds, drop off the novel and get glory to God, spend some time with Jesus, spend some time with the Holy Spirit. However, how you spend your Valentine's Day on February, god is so good. So I want to say thank you, I want to say welcome, welcome to a brand new month. I mean last month, last Monday of the month. I mean you're so excited because a lot of things been really really happening in the month of February.

Speaker 1: 1:05

So, and I am excited to just be back here to share, as I said, that this year I am doing Bible challenge, where I'm reading the Bible again from the New Testament to the Old Testament, which is so excited I mean the book of Levitics. Not really big fan of book of Levitics, there's just so much rules and all the fun stuff. But yeah, so I'm in the book of Levitics right now. I'm so excited to finish Levitic and then to go to the next book. So in the Old Testament, I'm in the book of Levitics, the New Testament, I'm in the book of Mark. So which I'm enjoying? The book of Mark right now. So I'm just looking forward to get out of Levitic and go into the next book, which will be the book of number, but I don't know if there's an excitement in number. Anyways, I prayed that you, I prayed that you saints, you guys, been doing very well and that you are really definitely following your February goal. You are following your February goals and you are sticking around with your goals. So that's really should be excited for you guys. So, yes, so I pray. I pray that February is going well. Bless bless February. I mean I'm. February has been a blast for me. God has been so grateful in the month of February be giving me interviews upon job interview. Eventually your girl got a job offer glory to God, after all the interview that I've been going through. So I want to thank you. I want to say thank you, jesus, for that and for doors being opening.

Speaker 1: 2:54

We have a wonderful all-night prayers at my church. We wrapped up the month of wisdom. It was so good. All night prayer was good. The Lord moved like never before. I mean guys like I encourage you if you are in the area of Edmonton and you're looking things to do for your Friday nights, like every last Friday of the month, we have all night prayer at Cornerstone Christian Church of God. And these all-night prayer they are, they're anointed, Like, literally, the way the Spirit move and the heart that you see the young people all gathered together in just one room just to seek the face of God. It is really, really powerful. So, like, our next prayer all night is gonna be in March 29 and March 29. So, encourage, make time to come if you're in a great city of Edmonton, great city of Champaign, right, okay.

Speaker 1: 3:58

So today I am so excited because today I am sharing one of the word how the word became flesh into my life. How the word became flesh. I mean, that's what the podcast is all about the word of God becoming flesh. So I'm excited how I want to share a testimony about me, a journey, how the Lord deliver me from the spirit of lesbian. Yes, you heard it correct the Lord, deliver your girl from the spirit of lesbian. So I'm gonna give you guys a background story how did the spirit of lesbian land into my door Okay, land into my door and how did I deal with it, and stuff like that. So I'm excited to share my testimony, because I'm sharing my testimony today, and I would just want to make a quick announcement In the month of March it's gonna be excited month for us because we have two guesses that they're gonna be part of the podcast in the month of March.

Speaker 1: 4:59

One of the guests they wrote a wonderful book, it's called Fearful, a wonderfully made book. I'm excited for you guys to hear all about it, all about her journey how did this book become a life and one of the guests to like her testimony that she's gonna come here share with us. It's gonna be a. It's a powerful testimony how the enemy trying to take her life in the month of December and the Lord restore her, restore back her life. So we have two, two powerful testimonies. They're coming up in the month of March. So watch off for that.

Speaker 1: 5:36

April it's even more excited because April we have a big, big guest who's gonna be here on the we're Become Flash podcast in April. I'm excited for the big, big guest, but I'm not gonna say who is it. More information will come as the time will come by. So I'm so excited because today we're sharing testimonies, because the Bible said they overcome by the word of their testimonies. Right, we overcome by the word of our testimony. So today I want to share my testimony. Yeah, so before I dip the dip into share my little testimony, how I was delivered from the spirit of lesbian, let's jump in into the word of prayer and invite the Holy Spirit to come into, to be among among this journey, among among us today. Amen.

Speaker 1: 6:27

So let us pray, father, the mighty name of Jesus, lord, we want to say thank you. We want to say thank you, my father God, for this wonderful day. My father God of February. My father God, lord, we are so grateful, my father God of Lord, to see another day, february 26, 2024. My father God, father, we are so blessed. My father God, for giving us this, giving us a breath of life. My father God, for this month of February. Lord, we say thank you, my father God. We even say thank you, my father God for this storm that is outside of snow. My father God, lord, we are. Thank you, we thank you, my father, god of Lord. We thank you, my father, god, father, we invite that your spirits will be here with us, my father, god, lord, the Father, that is not going to be the flesh that's speaking my father God, but it will be your spirit speaking my father God. Holy Spirit, come, come and have your way, let your will be done, not my will, not my desire, but your will be done in Jesus. Mighty name, lord, I pray. Amen, amen and amen, hallelujah. Glory to God, glory to God.

Speaker 1: 7:34

So, oh, my goodness, the best thing happened to me in the month of February 12 of 2024, as many of you guys know. In the month, in the year of 2019, I left the church. I left the church due to, to, due to my church hurt and church, yeah, church due to church hurt. 2019, I really left church and I did not believe in in the, in the power of church anymore. So I want to say thank you, jesus, because in the year of 2021 I'll say 2021 I found, I found myself again at another home church. I mean, I really, I really, I really tell this story about how I found my home church, how I end up to be part of Coniston Christian Church of God. So but I want to thank you, God. I want to thank you, god, for for the grace. I want to thank you, god, for the grace for bringing me to Coniston now.

Speaker 1: 8:40

I went to one of the thing about I'm going to Coniston Christian Church of God. One of the things that I love about CCCG is the fact that our pastors, that that they they really teach us how to deal with our trauma. You know, they they teach us the teachers trauma like literally as a kid, I never knew I had trauma. I never knew that there was many things that in my life that I was carrying it as a trauma, especially trauma of church hurt and and and and of church being hurt in the church and, and you know, not one, ever, ever, ever, not one, ever one step back again into a church. So which, so, which one is one of the things that Coniston, our spiritual authority, they preach on and they encourage you of you before moving forward, you dealing with your trauma, you know, go to the root of your trauma.

Speaker 1: 9:39

So one of the trauma that I went through as I was going to church, one of the trauma that I went through, it was I had, I had the spirit of disappointed. I was very disappointed in ministries. I was, I was disappointed and I was really really hurt because my previous church that I was going, there was a story that came out, you know, that one of our pastor for for young adults, you know, was having an appropriate relationship with some of the people in the church, with some of the people in the church. So I remember when the story came out, that day I remember I did not go to church. I was really tired. Yeah, that's why the reason I didn't go to church. So I didn't go to church. I was really tired because I put up an all-nighter. And then I remember that week two we just finished having, like our young adult conference, which which was so amazing that God moved mightly.

Speaker 1: 10:40

So when the story came out that some of the young adults, they said that they were having an appropriate, appropriate relationship with the pastor. So when it came out, I was literally at home sleeping, you know, enjoying my sleep, enjoying my bedtime. It's when I I woke up and I was like why is my phone ringing so much? You know, people were just like, you know, calling me a guest to confirm the rumors about, you know, asking me if I was part of the young adult list who's messing up with the pastor. So so through that, through that, through that pain of me being accused, you know that I was having an inappropriate relationship with the pastor. I remember it really, really hurt me. I was in, I was in pain, it really hurt me because I was like me, me accused with a pastor, me, I mean remember, like I come from, I come from, I come from a, I come from a background where I was raised to stay away from men, to stay away from any appropriate behavior from men, right, stay away from sex and stuff like that.

Speaker 1: 11:57

Like my, my grandma was a very firm, strong believer. I mean she continued, resting peace. She was very strong believer with how she raised us, you know, of staying away from sex and staying away from men. You know like, like pretty much my grandma believe was when till you get, when till you get married, right, don't mess up with men out there. So when the story came out and then I got a phone call from one of the uncle and he was telling me that how, he believe I'm part of the young God, though that I should go see the senior pastor and go and go confess and you know, like, go confess and talk about it and talk about it, how, yeah, how I have I've been having an appropriate behavior with a pastor. And then, well, in my head, my heart was a guys, my heart was just beat that going fast and fast because I was like why am I being accused of this, of this thing, that? So I never done so?

Speaker 1: 13:06

Through, through that journey it led me to just like leave church, like to just run away from church and be like you know what, I don't want to associate with this church anymore, I don't want to associate with this anymore and also do very frankly, like, from there I didn't want to go to church anymore. You know, I, from there I just developed the spirit of hating men. Like hating men, I mean, mind you, as a, as a child, I really never have any, any good example of men that I, that I really look at, was like oh, you know, this is a good, this is a good man, but other than other than my pastor. So when those, when those story came out, it was very disappointed for me, crushed spirits for me, like it was very, very, very crushing. So I was like hey, you know, like, but then then we forgot to know that even pastors are human, that they can make mistakes. But for me, I hold our as a child, I hold pastors very on high stand, like you cannot mess up. You know I hold them as an high stand, that you cannot mess up. So I remember leaving church, leaving church. So I decided to take a different, different journey, different journey for my life.

Speaker 1: 14:27

Whatever, once I leave church, I met people that I. I met people that they're not supposed to be in my life. I really met people that they're not supposed to be in my life. So I met one of the girl. I meant I met one of the girl. Okay, so like I literally share her my story about, about you know why I left the church and everything eventually to she share, she share her testimony, you know of why she hate church. So like, together, both me and her, we had that pain, you know, of just being disappointed in the pain of just hating church and and stuff like that. So at that time I am the girl. She like plainly told me that she's lesbian. You know she's into the reason she doesn't do man, blah, blah, blah, blah, but she's into women and stuff like that.

Speaker 1: 15:26

So eventually, like I just start hanging around her I had, I start hanging around her and then all the suddenly, like I realized that, like I realized other feelings, feelings of women, just start developing inside of me. I was like you, why, like deep down inside, I knew that I was a child of God. I really knew I was a child of God and I really knew like it is wrong to have a structure at attraction from from from female to female, right like deep down inside I really definitely knew that. So I started hanging around her, like I remember one of my, one of my aunties like was telling me hey, be careful, hanging around this girl. I don't think she's a right friend for you, I don't think she's fit for you. And I could, I remember me convincingly one of the auntie say, oh, I'm hanging with her because she's been church, I'm church hurt, you know church pain and stuff like that you know.

Speaker 1: 16:28

So like we understand each other, but I know that she's, I know that she's lesbian, but I'm not interesting in her. You know, I'm just, I'm just friend, I'm just friend. So like literally, yeah, so literally the devil start messing up with my head Like he. He starts. He starts giving me dreams like people having sex with me and and those and those people that they were having sex with me, it will be female, they'll be waking up to female. I remember like I call one of my friend and I told her I was like, hey, I'm really having strange dream and I think at that time my friend really just laugh like I mean, we were kids, we just we just laugh it out. We just did not know how to deal with it. But I want to thank God this 20, when I, when I start my journey in Cornerstone right, you, I started my journey in Cornerstone and I had a meeting. I've been booking meeting with my spiritual authority. You know, either I I have a meeting with my spiritual father, pastor Emmanuel, apostle Emmanuel, or I'll have a meeting with Pastor Ebu Oku, right and? And then so I remember my first meeting.

Speaker 1: 17:44

I remember sharing with Pastor Ebu Oku why I hate men. Like I was like literally why I hate men. And she was like, oh, really interesting. Yeah, like I, I, I shared the, I share my story of pain of why I, I hate men because I feel like all, all, all, all men that I have met in my life.

Speaker 1: 18:08

All what they want, it's just they. They want sex, they want sex from you, or or, as I said, I never have a good example of a man in my life because either the men that I've seen in my life, either they're abusing their, either they're abusing their, their, their women, they're beating up their women. You know, I just feel like men. They don't have no compassion for for women. They don't know how to treat women, you know. So I've never seen, I've never seen a man who treat a woman right, right. So, and then also too, when when the story about in my church came my previous church, when the story came out, it just messed up my whole mind about how I see men, how I see men, and at the time I really start I start hating men and and I just start getting start being comfortable with, like you know, women's are okay, women's are cool and stuff like that.

Speaker 1: 19:07

So I did not know at the time that I I'm also too hanging, hanging with a so-called that I so-called friend. Honestly, I don't call her friend, I call I mostly call her Delilah, because literally she, she really convincing me that, oh, maryam, I I think you're lesbian, you should come out of the closet. You know, like she, she, she's kind of like start treating me like I'm her girlfriend. And, and it was just so messed up at work, people were asking me hey, are you dating so and so, are you dating so and so? And I'll be like why? And then I guess she was claiming that I'm her girlfriend. But you know me like, when she was saying girlfriend, I was like yeah, we're friends. But when I, when I say girlfriend, when I say girlfriend, like I mean I'm a girl, I'm a girl and I have a friend who's a girl, right, but then for her I guess she had another kind of meaning of girlfriend.

Speaker 1: 20:04

So so, going fast forward, I did not know that that spirit of lesbian was still connected in me. So until this month of January, the Lord because most of the time when God speaks to me he speaks to me through a dream, until this time. The Lord gave me a dream this month of January that I was at the altar, I was getting married. Right, imagine I was at the altar, I was getting married. I was so excited because I was like, oh, maybe I'm about to see my husband. Man, it was not a husband that I saw. So, yeah, I had a dream I was in the altar. I was in the altar, I was getting married, but then that dream kept on repeating, but I never seen who I'm being getting married. I've been getting married Now.

Speaker 1: 20:59

Remember, my spiritual authority, apostle, has been teaching us how you can go back into your dreams. You know how you can take control of your dreams. You know like there are some dreams that don't just let it pass by. Go back and go back to that dream and deal with it. So I had a dream that I was getting married, and so I was like you know what I'm going to finish this dream so well. So in that dream I was getting married. But also I was getting married.

Speaker 1: 21:28

So, like the person that was walking on the aisle guys, it was a female, it was a female. It was a female that was walking on the altar with me. But then the female she had the most ugliest face ever, the most ugliest spirit I've never seen. So. But then the female could not, could not really touch me. Like every time they're trying to approach to me, they couldn't touch me. Like like there was, like a force was getting them away from me, right. So I woke up immediately, so quick. And then I remember my last meeting in February, february 12 of this year.

Speaker 1: 22:10

I went to share the dream with my spiritual, my spiritual mommy. Shout out at Pastor Ibuku Adeuci I really love, I love, love, love, love my spiritual mom. She's so much of wisdom and so much of love and so much of compassion. She's my sub-patient. I love you, pastor, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. Anyway, so I share my dream with my spiritual mom and I say, hey, mom, this is the dream that I've been having.

Speaker 1: 22:38

And then so I was kind of like, I was kind of like disappointed. I like, I was kind of like disappointed because I was like no God, because in my head I was saying, no, lord, I am not a lesbian, there is no way I'm lesbian, there is no way I'm attracted to a woman. No, no, no, no. That's not my portion in Jesus' name, right. So I, I dip, dip, dip, dip, dip down, knew that, that that cannot be my portion. I mean, no, I'm a child of God. You know I am. I am a child of God. I do not. I associate with the spirit of God. I walk with God the father, I walk with God, the son, god, the Holy spirit. You know, that's who I am, that's who I am.

Speaker 1: 23:18

But then this, this thought, this thought of of bisexual, of me thinking that, no, you're a lesbian, you're a lesbian, you're a lesbian. I was like, no, I'm not a lesbian. Right, I reject that in Jesus' name. So, and also to having that dream of me getting married to a woman. But it was so strange that the woman could not touch me. Like, literally, guys, the woman was trying, like it was that that thing was trying to walk towards where I was, I guess, to try to get to marry me, and then they couldn't.

Speaker 1: 23:51

So my spiritual authority explained to me say, marriage is a covenant, is a covenant, god is showing you that you do not associate with that spirit, right, like it's the way, it's so strong the Lord was trying to show you that, that you are covered, you are covered with the blood of Jesus. Like, you are completely free, you're completely delivered, delivered from those spirit, delivered from those thoughts. That God is showing you that you do not associate with that spirit anymore. Guys, um, that was February 2012. I literally was in the meeting with my pastor. I was literally crying because it bothers me so much it bothers me. I was like, no, god, I cannot have desire for any woman.

Speaker 1: 24:44

And then so, apparently, like the girl that I was hanging around I was hanging around back in 2019, that you know that put in my mind, in my thought that I'm supposed to be a lesbian, I'm supposed to be married to a woman, you know, like that spirit was like trying to hold me back from my destiny, so forgot to give me that dream and to let me know that, no, you are free, you are delivered, you're not, you're not long, you're not long as live. Right, you are not, you're not long as live, you don't operate, you don't operate in that realm, you don't operate in that realm. So I want to thank God for, like, that deliverance, because, whoa, it's a very strong spirit, but I want to say thank you, jesus, for that deliverance. So that's just my little story right there, my little story right there of how Jesus really did perform and deliver it on me. So I want to say thank you, jesus, for allowing His word, for allowing His word to come, to come flesh into my life, for allowing His word to come flesh into my life, because the Bible said indeed, who the sun set free. Indeed, there are free, there are free, there are free, there are free.

Speaker 1: 26:11

So I'm going to, I'm like, I want to encourage you, like if you are going through stronghold, that you're having battlefield strong, strong, demonic dreams, they're just, they're just holding you in. You know, there are some things that we cannot do deliverance ourselves in our room. We really need spiritual cover, we really need spiritual authority, you know, to help us and to deliver us. So, like I really want to encourage somebody, like if you're going through that, if you're going through the bondage of the enemy, chains of bondage, that the enemy is just holding you with the chains of bondage, thoughts you know, thoughts that you know that they do not associate with the word of God, they do not associate with the promise of God in your life, you know, like, seek for help, seek for spiritual help and do not, do not, do not go through this alone.

Speaker 1: 27:14

So I want to just want to thank God for making my deliverance permanent and for know that I am a child of God. I am a child of God, I am a child of the more psyched God, I am a child of the King. I am a child of the King. The force of darkness, the fear of darkness, the stronghold, the stronghold spirit that they no longer have no authority over me. No, have no authority over my life. In the mighty name of Jesus, the enemy is trying to destroy my destiny and he's just trying to destroy my destiny Literally. Even my marriage is like he's just trying so hard to destroy it. By God, keep reminding me, maryam, you are covered with the blood of Jesus. You are covered with the blood of Jesus. You are no longer a slave, you're no longer a sinner, but you are covered into the blood of Jesus. So I want to thank you, jesus, for covering me and for delivering me now.